This is pod Populi Podcast for the People, The Great Love Debate. It's
the Great Love Debate, the Great Love Debate. It's a Great Love Debate.
Hi again, Everyone's Brian Howie. Welcome to The Great Love Debate,
the world's number one dating and relationship podcast since two thousand and fifteen. I
am here in the very fine studios of pod Populi Podcast for the People.
I am the one in Scottsdale, Arizona. And the temperature outside is surface
of the sun, So plan accordingly. Now, I a couple of things.
First of all, last week's podcast I got a lot of really good
feedback on it. It was a little bit of a downer. So as
I say at the pot Great Love Debate, here, we are always selling
hope, and I'm going to sell you some hope today. I in the
in the history of this podcast. This is like the four hundred and eleventh
episode of this is I think I have zoomed somebody and as a guest maybe
six times. I don't like it. I think everybody should be in person.
I just you know, get in the same rooms. But even during
the height of COVID, I kept podcasting and making people coming and spread their
germs all over me. I didn't care. I wanted to podcast for you
people full of germs. I made an exception. I'm making an exception.
She has been on this podcast many times before. She's been on our live
stage more than anybody else has ever. She contacted me about a week and
a half ago. Somehow the light bulb has gone off in her love life.
I will let her get into the details about that for a second.
I'm gonna give her a proper intro. She is the wing woman, is
that right? She has been on a whole lot of reality television shows.
Bubbies Knows Best. I think she's on to tell the Truth. I think
she give it your list, Aaron Davis, everybody rattle off your list.
Yes, I was the host of Bubbies No Best on Wish Life Television or
I think it was four seasons. I did HDTV's Beachfront Bargain Hunt. My
favorite show was ABC's To Tell the Truth. I did Club, a show
called Camp Getaway on Bravo. Yeah what, I don't even remember all the
other ones. There's been a lot, right, and you are a wing
woman matchmaker who over the last few years since I've known you, it wasn't
really working out in the love department for yourself, as sometimes happened with people
in the biz. Is that a fair way to look at it. Yes,
it works out for my clients, works out with my help, But
I definitely didn't prioritize myself either in the process. I definitely am one of
those workaholic wing women that have dedicated to helping others more than helping herself.
But is that I have learned a few things in the process. Is that
is that it built in I don't know, an excuse but crutch that you
can mentally convince yourself like I just don't I'm so focused on these other people.
I don't have time for me. Yeah, I ad, I'm so
focused on work. You know what's funny When I was on ABC's to Tell
the Truth, You know how they knew that I was the undercover wing woman
on that show because they asked everyone on the panel to find the real wing
woman, which one of you is single? And I had to be honest
and say I was single, and the other two said they were taken,
and they said that's the single one. They're always the most screwed up.
Oh, they knew that, so they underco Yep, that's how they found
me undercover on that show. They knew which one was the real wing woman
on ABC's to tell the truth, because that's what they said the old those
who can't teach. I believe that. But that being said, I do
defend the people in the love biz who are not in a relationship or have
not been married for twenty years or whatever. You know, Bill Belichick coaches
Tom Brady or did for a long time, and he never played quarterback,
he never played in the NFL, he never played pro football. Yeah,
it doesn't mean that he doesn't have the understanding in the skill set to pass
it along. So I'm not one of those people who think just because because
I know a lot of people in your business who who are married to somebody
who they definitely could not be married to anybody else. And I'm not sure
they're in a strictly heterosexual relationship either. If you know what I mean,
you could also, you know, defend that we're actually the wisest evolved them
because we're constantly studying it. We're not going to mess up when people tell
me, you know, you're thirty eight years old, did you miss your
window? I said, yeah, I missed my divorce window. Yeah,
you did. You You're in the same age. Nail it. I'm going
to be a one for one, yeah, I said. When I get
it right, I'm money ya right, Yeah, And I agree with that
and it. You know, there's also a lot of skill and value in
getting out of a bad relationship, and a lot of people don't necessarily do
that anyway, moving forward into what I want to talk about today. So
you contacted me about a week and a half ago and you said what I
said, I found love in about a month and less than a month,
I said, Brian, I did something that you and I have talked about
that we swore with something everybody should should do, but they just don't do
it right. So let's go back to the beg did you do well,
Let's go back to the beginning of the year. So somewhere around you,
did you make a vow a new Year's resolution? Something changed in your mindset
going into twenty twenty three. Yes, So it's actually really important you understand
how the process happened because you do have to be in the right place.
So I was really sick in January. I got diagnosed with trigeminal MIRALJA and
it knocked me off my feet. I had a really hard few months.
I got surgeries, I figured it out, and I started feeling better,
and then I had this epiphany through all of it. And my birthday was
March twenty third, and I decided that, you know what, I have
really spent the last few years, especially in the pandemic, just dedicating all
my free moments to helping my clients and helping other people find love. And
I'm super private, as you know, I'm pretty private about my own personal
dating life. Does I mean I don't have anything going on? I do,
I just don't really share it. So I decided on my birthday I
was going to publicly post that I am going to look for myself. Oh.
I kind of did a little bit of manifesting, and you know,
I'm not a very fru fru I wish I was more spiritual, a little
more frou free than I am. So I decided to kind of manifest it
and I took. Of course, I didn't have a birthday cake, you
know me. My friends got me a piece of an orange which still had
too much sugar to be honest, But I had a wedge maybe okay for
good luck. They put a candle in it. They brought it to my
birthday table. They said, make a wish and I said, I know
it's bad luck to say this, but I'm going to wish for love for
myself this year. But it's been a really bad year for me, and
I think I'm going to focus on myself now. And then I decided.
My friend said, you know what, we need you to post that to
Facebook. We want you to actually project it because no one really knows if
you're single, No one really knows if you're looking for yourself. So I
did it and that was a huge move for me. Okay, and it
and it really reverberated. I was it was crazy. The response was actually
much bigger than I thought it was going to be. It was just a
simple post, a simple post that just said, Hey, I'm looking for
a love on my thirty eight thanks for all the birthday love whatever. And
one of those responses was through a matchmaker who said I think I have this
guy, and her message really really resonated with me. It wasn't like the
typicult hey I have you have to share it. You know you've got to
meet I'm just just trust me and they don't give me any She really did.
She dove deep. She was like, you seem like you really value
fitness. You you know you're twois. She gave me a more a deep
analysis, and I said, you know what, Okay, let's spacetime.
And I was given other people chances to but this this guy that she kind
of introduced me to resonate and you know what, after having a near death
experience in January, I was like, I'm not going to waste my time
anymore. You and I had always talked about this. People should just get
to the get to the bottom of things really quick, right. So I
meet this guy in April and it was a great first second date, and
so he says, why don't you come visit me? He lived in Austin,
So I go visit him, and how does that happen? So you're
in New York, he flies to New York, Like, how does the
first date happen? Happens? To be the whole thing about this, we
called the accelerator because from day one and it was an accelerated program, and
we even started writing a guideline of what does accelerated dating mean? So when
he flew here. We did a whirlwind of like a forty eight hours to
see my entire life. He did a workout with me, and he's a
CrossFit guy too, so he kept up with me. So we did a
really hard workout. We went boozy brunching together on a Tuesday afternoon. He
took me to a wine bar. We saw all each other's modes from working
out, working back up, backup, back up. You are told when
you're going to get an introduced the guy, you know that he does not
live in the same city as you. I do. Were you Were you
open to that? I said, right off, you know me, I'm
the New York wingwoman. I'm a city girl. And she said, we
know, we know, Okay, she knew. I said, you know,
I'm open to flying to visiting se people, but I'm a New York
woman, right. So he so he says, you're from John's Creek,
Georgia, so not exactly southern. Okay. So now so he knows you
live in New York and he's like, I don't care, she looks hot.
I'm gonna get on an airplane. He had done his research. He
had he had in his defense it wasn't just a matchmaker. He had done
his own research and said, this is somebody. This is someone I think
is very compatible, knowing the New York being open, He's only been in
austin a short amount of time, all things considered. He's from La your
favorite town, you know. Um and so yeah, so he flew here
first, which I think is the right thing to do. Did that make
you nervous that a guy was getting on a plane for you? Not at
all? You think that was my first time? You come on, there's
a line at LaGuardia coming into town for you. Yeah, I guess,
Okay, okay, so he comes into town. Um, your meet in
person, but you also know you're committed to spending at least a day with
him. I think, right, yeah, yeah, And I don't know,
you know what it was. We've talked about this earlier too. It's
all of a sudden when you just each this sense of self, like I
feel so comfortable with who I am. I you know, I don't think
I did five years ago. I don't think I could have thrown myself into
something five years ago without freaking out or without even being myself. Um,
I wasn't even the least bit nervous. Okay, not even not at all.
You're not overthinking, You're not overthinking sedatives, Yeah, sedatives help?
Yeah, I was. I mean when you have When I had a neurological
disease in surgeries, they had to put me on an anti seizure med for
a while. So I was really calm. But I promise it wasn't just
that. It was also mental and emotional calm. And I don't know there's
a sense of self that hits. I guess it's really when you I guess
thirty eighth the magic number. I have no idea, but I was calm,
man, I wasn't even the least bit nervous. They're not even a
little bit, not even a little Oh. I also bring my roadie.
You know about my roadie, right, your roadie? Yeah, I swear
by this. You know, I bring a roadie before any first date.
So I packed my little like you know, my plastic cup, put a
little bit of diet sprite in some absolute vanilla in there, and I take
it on the subway listen to some good music. How are you nervous when
you got a roadie and some music on the way to your first date.
No, no nerves. That's my key, it's my secret. Okay,
So you decide, did you have to set up a whole itinerary for an
out of town er? No? So that that's actually a good question because
he went above and beyond with his itinerary for me. But no, I
didn't. He had a whole plan that it was going to be a go
with the flow. So if the first date wasn't great, he was just
going to go home. But he had some backups. Well guess what.
I had backups and they were with another guy, which he now knows.
Oh my god. I didn't think I was going to see him for two
days. I thought I was going to see him for one night and he
was only in town for a night, So I had another guy taking me
out the next night. Did he not to get too intimate here? But
did you discuss the sleeping arrangements? Where are you staying before you? Now?
That was too No, this was just to me on the first date,
first meeting. No way, And I would never let a client do
that either. You just come in, you figure it all out on your
own, but you just come and take them on a date. That's you
don't stay with them too soon? Now second second trip? You know my
rules with I don't know your rules. I don't. But before you came,
did he be like where should I stay? Like? Was there has
to be a conversation about it? You never said that I would no,
no, no, no eating. Now I don't meeting if they're going to
fly up to see you. Now they take care of their own stuff.
Okay, fair enough? Um okay, So how long into the first meeting
are you thinking I might like him? Um? I did see his giant
muscles. Uh eye contact, so that did shave my I was a little
like, what's happening right now? What's his name again? Um? They
are giant? Um? So once I got past that, once I was
like, should I take my contacts out so I can think clearly? Here?
You know I and trust me? My Roadie made the muscles even bigger.
So my eyes were just bugging out of my head. But you know,
very soon, his whole energy was exactly what a first date two people
going in positive but not over the top, not fake, not just genuine.
I think we were both positive and excited to meet each other, and
it was just the right energy. I mean, he has an easy laugh
too. He's funny. Lad. We're going to get into the real adventurous
part of this. I am here with Aaron Davis. We are talking about
I think a first date that I'm not sure it's ended yet. I gotta
take a quick break because we gotta pay for exotic travel like these guys with
big muscles too, And we will be back right after this and we're back,
okay. First date in New York goes well, he goes to he's
getting ready to leave. Do you do you plan the second date before he
gets on an airplane? How does that work? So we hypothetically did.
I think we both kind of knew this was going well. We did a
work out together, which was really fun at Crunch Gym of all places.
But we both did really well and like we knew we were having fun.
And then we talked about a hypothetical second date in Austin. He was part
of a pickle ball. He planned it in the next couple of days,
when once he flew home, he said, you know you want to come
to Austin. You could do that batball. Then does it become a headache?
Like, oh shit? I like a guy who lives in Texas,
does this enter your mind, like what do I do with this information?
You know? Or no? You know? It used to what we're going
to have to do another podcast sometime. I did something called a Suburbia experiment
over the course of the last year, where I got the hell out of
New York City and I dated in the suburbs, and I said, you
know what, I need to see that life exists out of Manhattan because the
people here just it ain't working out, okay, And I'll tell you what.
I became very open to looking at other cities and then probably brainwashing them
and bring them back here. But I still wanted to explore other cities.
And I believe if two people have a found a solid foundation, you can
make it work if both are flexible. And he told me right off the
bat he was a flexible person. He loves to travel and he would live
somewhere else. Yeah. I think so too. A lot of people are
so stuck in their ways because then they can then they can blame the city.
This city sucks, there's nobody here, and that's why I have found
it. And then they realize if they moved to another city and it doesn't
work out, well, maybe it's them. You know. We advise people,
Yeah, thank you. I mean we advise people all the time that
if you're not in a relationship, you need to move at least seven hundred
miles like every six years or something like. You really have to play in
a different sandbox to do that. Okay, So then you go to Texas.
Have you ever been to Texas? I have only been to Houston once
for work and that was it like ten years ago. So this was a
big This was a big thing for me. But I literally even my parents
were on board. They're like, give us your dog. We were going
to pet sit for you for a couple of days, and you need to
get out of town. You need to go figure this out. You just
see. My parents are all part my old fashioned southern parents who met at
Denny Steiner. Were like, honey, you need to get on a plane
and you need to figure this shit out. You're thirty eight years old.
Let's do this. So they were they were all horrid, babe, and
threw in their own advice. You better when you see him, you give
him a big hug, and you sit on the same side of the booth
the whole trip. You hear me, you sit right next to that boy.
Yeah, I see if there's chemistry right away thirty eight they were all
hard. You know, for some women it gives them incentive and pressure to
do this. You kind of looked at it as like you were liberated at
thirty eight to do this, Like I am old enough. I fuck it,
I'm gonna do this. Absolutely. I look at it like that.
I don't have a ticking clock. I've never been the woman who's feels pressured
or rushed. But I just feel free. That's exactly what it is.
It's in no way pressure or ticking. It's just like, oh my god,
life is short, this is awesome. Let's just bring and do it.
You are not interested in gaining that baby weight, I know you.
Oh you know me. I literally tell my parents if it doesn't work out
for a baby, I'll tell you what I've got. My baby is my
six pack. I'm going to hold onto it and my belly ring. You
know, it's been great. That belly ring is a great very well.
You know, So are you guys expressing What is the conversation like? Are
you expressing feelings? Are you like this is going pretty well? Are you
just going with the flow. At what point does somebody do you start to
talk about what's going on here? So we did start talking about like how
it would work long distance, but we were talking about trips. We were
saying, like, you know what we should spend We should do something like
go halfway around the world. We should take big trips together. But here's
the cool thing. We both realized this early on. We said, it
sounds like some of the things we're planning seem like it's going pretty quick,
right, it's accelerating. However, emotionally, we don't believe in doing that.
We let that progress on its own. But give yourself the experiences and
the opportunities that would allow you to develop emotions a little bit fat, start
get to know each other faster. But don't love bomb. There's a huge
difference. And I keep wanting to tell all my clients what I did wasn't
some love bombing thing. It was an adventure with the person who's incredible that
we wanted to see if we had compatibility. But it was not a love
bombing experience. And there's a huge difference. When you love bomb someone,
you tell them you're in love with them, you boling had them like for
you know, two or three dates and you're just you're you're riding on a
high. You've got nowhere to go after that. But what do you then?
What do you say to let them know? I meanbe you don't say
anything, maybe you just let the actions do it. But is there something
you say, like you know, this is actually nice? Like what do
you say, yeah, oh that's sweet? Oh right, this feels nice?
You know yeah, we would say like yes, we said like,
you know, this is like different, right, and I'm like, yeah,
this is like really easy for me. It was the word easy and
natural. I think that I had never had experiences where I started dating somebody
and I wasn't like feel I wasn't like pulling teeth a little bit where you're
just like, hey, we have this in common and this looks good,
but it's not quite there. But let's keep pulling and trying. And what
I want to tell peoples when it's easy, it's it's easy. You don't
even have to think about it. You're just like, wow, there's a
solid base here. Doesn't mean that there's not going to be problems. So
doesn't mean the real life, you know, love isn't enough for a lot
of people also. However, it's really nice when you have a solid base
to work with and you have that natural chemistry that you don't have to overthink.
So he traveled for you, then you traveled for him, and then
the biggest step is we're going to travel together. Yes, yes, So
here's the thing. Before I traveled to him, well, you were already
excited enough that he was telling me about his travel schedule. He works in
Ai and he's a speaker all around the world. He was telling me some
very exciting gigs he had coming up, and he was like, hey,
who knows, you know, maybe you could come to like Thailand with me.
And I was like, oh right, So we kind of had proposed
that. But then here's where I was a little sneaky, sneak. Okay,
so he invites me to offer. But I was using Austin as a
secret test because if we could make it where I'm immersed in his life,
his home life, his life down there for about four days, that tells
me everything I need to know. Really, in my opinion, to take
a giant leap, and you, I was on guard the second that I
landed in Austin. I'll tell you I was looking for little things because I
have traveled with men before. Right, first thing I did, I had
to go to the bathroom. I walked into his bathroom in Austin, looked
around, you know, as the toilet seat up, which by the way,
is a good thing. It's a good thing. I want a guy
that don't care he needs a little bit of teaching, little bit of refinement.
But what he wear, my heart started to skip a beat, was
that he had Denture cleaner just left out on like Denture cleaner tabs just left
out on the sink without any regard. Well, I wear I swear by
my night guard, and I'm always nervous to tell a guy I wear a
night guard to like at least the third or fourth sleepover. Right right then
and there, I was like, he's just laid it out on the counter,
literally, And I came out of the bathroom and I said, be
still, my heart. We share the same the same effordint polly Din Denture
cleaner. And I said, so that means I can tell you about my
night guard, And like, right, that's what you need to have.
You need to have that like hurt that I don't want to travel with someone
who's OCD who tells me, yeah, you need to use this hand so
you can't touch this, you sleep on this set. And right away I
could tell this guy laughed it off the way he welcomed me into his home.
You know what Elsie did, You'd love. He works for a pet
sitting company for fun on the side because he loves dogs but doesn't have time
to own him. And he rented a dog for the trip. So while
I came to Austin. Yeah, he decided to pet sit. Knew how
much I loved animals, so he decided to pet sit for a dog.
And he's like, we can see how we are together with dogs. Yeah,
that's a good move. So this was like the good move, right.
You've heard me say, you know you have your dog? Well you
yeah, I mean you always hear me say you always trust a dog that
doesn't like a person, and you would never trust a person who doesn't like
a dog exactly. And even better than that, he says, dog can
sleep on the bed. I was like, this guy is great. He
hadn't meant my dog yet. Okay, so there were little things I looked
and looked at that trip before I was going to take a leap for our
idea of going halfway around the world. Because what happened with us is we
saw this video on YouTube. I don't know if you saw Bill Murray's video.
It went viral. He was at JFK airport and he was ranting and
he said, I'll tell you what. People who want to get married these
days, you tell them to forget the whole courtship. They need to find
their person and say, let's book a three week ticket halfway around the world.
Pick a place that's hard to get to, hard to get out of.
And then he said, and then three weeks later, you're gonna land
at JFK and you're gonna know. And the best part about it is we
literally did three weeks halfway around the world to a place it was hard to
get out of, and we did land at JFK. So it was like
Bill Murray's plan. And that's what I call it, the Bill Murray challenge.
That we did decide to go to Asia right after that Austin trip,
after I saw how we lived, how we drived, how he planned in
the itinerary, and that's all you need to know. And you flew to
Thailand. Is that correct? We did. We started in New Jersey for
the night. Now you can't fly directly to Thailand, so where'd you go?
No, So first weak it's important, you know. We started new
in New Jersey at his sister's apartment with three kids for the night so she
could drive us to Newark. So the trips already off to a very accelerated
start. Meet the sister, three kids, and then we get to Newark,
we fly to London for five days, and then from London we go
to Vietnam for a week, and then for after a week in Vietnam,
we do a week in Thailand. Wow. So it was a lot.
So we started to meet it. It was good. London was like a
good you know build up right, Yes, it's not too much of the
jet last a little form and then we yeah yeah, ye different and the
and then Thailand. I've been to Thailand, I don't know six times.
I've never been to Vietnam. People people who go to Vietnam swear by it.
They say it's the best, they love it. It was amazing,
and it's it's a great trip to do with somebody. Because the language barrier,
the cultural barrier, it's giant, so you've got to navigate everything together.
The weather is crazy. I secretly got e coli. I didn't want
to tell them, and I was like deathly ill, but I didn't want
to ruin the romance. So imagine that obstacle on a trip in Vietnam.
You're symptoms. Both are going to be sexy. I imagine with his muscles
in your six back. You're both fairly healthy eaters. That part of the
world is actually pretty good for that. Like both of those countries, it
is they respect. The problem is they rin they rinse aw their lettuce with
this water that will just kill you. So that was the only issue.
So me eating all my lettuce, it got me. They got me,
you know, they got me. Lettuce is one of the salads are one
of the number one transmitters of food poisoning, which I just found out like
a week ago. Um okay, so so you stick with cake cake pops
at Starbucks? That's right? Are you ramping up the um? I really
you care about? You are? Like? Where does the verbiage go?
There's no I love you, so I take it, But where does it
does it? Maybe there wasn't. Well I need to know when does Like
I think I'm falling in love you. Where does that happen? Somewhere over
Vietnam? It happens on the penultimate night of the entire trip. It was
in Thai Land, so toward the end. I mean, we really made
it through a lot. And it's not all it's not an easy thing to
travel with somebody in these countries, not just mighty coal. I yeah,
no, it's we had a flight. I mean we had a flight snappho.
We had like really crazy weather, we had a lot to pop up.
We both didn't feel good at certain times. I mean we had to
deal with a lot of stressful situations. And when you go through highs and
lows, you got to go through both. We did the map. We
also had about what twenty something sleepovers in a row, where you wake up,
you have breakfasts together, you make coffee. I thought, how long
would that take in New York City to have that many nights together? And
I would say it probably about six months. Yeah, right, you crammed
it, you fast forwarded it. Yeah. Yeah. So we did tell
each other that we loved each other after about three weeks, so right right
before the trip ended, and that that's when we did the math, and
we said it doesn't sound soon or no, And I said, you know,
when you think about it, it feels like it should be. But
when you have that experience that would have been stretched out over the course of
at least six months, you are it felt it felt right. You're right,
you are cramming all of it. And anybody can can travel together first
class to Hawaii when everything goes well. Traveling together means things don't go well.
Somebody loses a bag, somebody forgets their prescription, your flight gets delayed.
You're like, like, that's when you see, because that's going to
be life. And if you're going to dive into the deep end of the
pool together, you have to see how they react to chaos, how they
handle stress, how certain stimuli that is different. And there's a different stimuli
in Asia that I've talked about that is different sounds and smells and activity that
it just changes the way you see. And so if you can ride that
out together, like you said, that is six nine months of regular American
dating. Yes, that is the rolling with the punches, not literal punches.
You don't you can't roll with those. But when you roll with like,
you go with the flow and you really roll with it. Stresses how
you deal with something. It's amazing how many people I've known in my life
that I've dated. You just can flip a switch over the littlest thing,
Oh my god, it's raining. The whole day's ruined, and then you
see that we just laugh. The way we deal with hardships, the way
you deal with travel. It's true, you don't find that stuff out till
six or nine months in. So now is there a discussion on the penultimate
night of the trip, which I like, excellent use of that? Thank
you? When is there like okay, now what do we do about this?
Or it's like let's not overthink it, let's just figure it out.
What happens? Then? I know, I love that you said that,
because that's also, you know, going to be the teaser for this whole
podcast. People keep asking me when I got back from the trip, well
then what ared like then what? Because I used to preach sustainability to my
clients, like you can't rock at launch because then where do you go from
there? And the important distinction is that we did not love bomb. We
didn't emotionally rock at launch. We rock at launch with a life experience.
I mean, it's kind of like the Bachelor extent that there's not twenty five
other crazy people on a trip with us, but it is that the question
of then what You've got to have the hard talk pretty fast too, like
how is this going to work? The good news is one of us as
a professional, so I do know kind of like how things go wrong,
what could go wrong? What are its obstacles are going to be? Because
the sad part is, you know, I know we're preaching holl Bryant,
but the truth is love is not enough. You can find someone and be
deeply in love and life can get in a way right as heartbreaking as that
is, but I still believe if you have a solid base or foundation,
which was the beauty of a trip like this is that you build a base
or a foundation, or you don't. It fails and you one hundred percent
know, or you build something doesn't mean it's a gay and tee, but
it means you have a solid foundation to have something that could really, really
really work. But it could fail, but it could work. You just
got to talk about the hard stuff, which we did right away. So
even with the trip, we said, well, what's next, when do
I see you again? What do we do? How do we follow up?
We even said, how do we post this on social media? Do
we share this? Do I do a podcast with a great love debate?
What do we do? There's all those questions that people like I'm sure the
winner of the Bachelor have to deal with too. That now our regular life,
Yeah, it's yeah, now what and we try to tell each other,
well, what obstacles might we run into? It's you know, on
my work, my job. This is where it came in handy. All
my prioritizing other people the years before, this is where it came in handy.
I've been able to learn from all the things that have come to me,
the cases, the mistakes, the people who come to me with their
problems, and I've been able to apply it. And I know I've been
in a long distance relationship before too. I know how how far apart we
need to be, how long we can go without seeing each other, how
we need to readjust that we need a game plan. You can't just go
with the flow, or the heart doesn't. The heart can't go on unless
it has a game plan. These days, at this age, when you
know that there's failure looming in the future. It's kind of like it's like
a job if you get it. If you're on the job and you know
that you're quitting in three months, guess what your performance will suffer in the
office over the next three months. So you kind of have to know that
there's hope, right So, yeah, we've had a ton of hearts that
he's actually here right now. He's downstairs at a coffee shop because he didn't
want he didn't want to be nervous hearing me speak to you, nor influence
what I was going to say. But we are dedicated. You have to
have two people that are truly dedicated. I would say that's the number one
thing coming off of a crazy trip like this, is that you have to
be dedicated to a different kind of rolling with the punches that you're still learning
about each other because there is no substitute for time. I will say,
three weeks, you can get in a lot of experience, but you still
haven't known this person for five years, for ten years, so there is
no substitute for that. Now we're rolling with the punches as we learn who
we are in real life, and you have to keep that open communication as
you said many times, at the end of the day, you still got
to want to bone him. And I think you like the muscle, so
you know, oh yes, thank god man. He had a crossbit competition
this week. And I'll tell you what that just that that's good enough.
That is that is very good for me. I know you. So you
got out of your comfort zone and you took a chance, and you were
old enough to understand what you do like, but also wise enough to understand
this is what I might not like, yeah, and go for yes.
Yes. And also I'm secure enough with myself that, say something didn't work
out on this trip, I know how to conduct myself and have a great
time, and we'd be friends and we'd be adults. Like I think,
when you take this kind of a risk with somebody, you also have to
be able to go with the flow. If it doesn't go yeah, just
enjoy the trip, because the best part is worst case. I mean,
there's probably a million worst cases, but one of the worst cases if we
didn't work out, would I not have a trip of a lifetime anyway?
I mean worst cases one of you doesn't come back. But I suppose you
got exactly I was going there. Yeah, you know, all right,
Hey, then I make a good twenty twenty specialty. There you go.
That's the best case I suppose. Um. I'm very proud of you.
I'm very proud of you manifesting this. I'm very proud of you getting out
of your comfort zone. We've been talking about this stuff for years, great
love listeners, You've heard me say this all the time. It's probably not
going to be somebody at your local bar where you go all the time.
It's going to be some way, someplace, somehow, someone that you did
not think was even a possibility, And you gotta go for it, right
amen. Tell everybody where can they can find you. This was the best.
You can find me right now in New York City on the streets,
walking around on this humid summer weather. But I am on my website is
Aaron davisww dot com, Instagram, Aaron Underscore Wingwoman. And I still throw
my monthly matchmaking Shabat Dinners for the Jewish community, and that's SHABATSNYSS dot com.
And that's in New York City. But I'm traveling a lot too.
It's a good remote world, so I have clients at all the big cities
around the US, so I like to get up and out. All right,
Well, hopefully I will see you on your travels. If not,
I always tend to run into you in the big city. So hope brings
a turn on the big city as far as us. Do you have a
podcast yet? It's ridiculous you don't have a podcast yet? I know,
so you need to help me do one. I'm bad with tech and I
you know I don't look as good in headphones as you do. I need
help tack it. So, yes, I need to do it. I've
been a guest. How many have I've probably been on two hundred as a
guest. Yeah, it's my time. It's my time. So I am
starting one very simp For those of us who have one like share follow,
please review this podcast you refuse your reviews mean a lot in the podcasting ecosystem.
Shoot us an email Great Love Debate at gmail dot com. If you
have any tails where you threw caution to the wind and just sort of went
for it, go to Great Lovedebate dot com. I'm not sure which tickets
are on sale for which shows on there, but take a peek at all
of them, because as always at the Great Love Debate. We never stopped
making love. See you next time. The Great Love Debate. It's the
Great Love Debate. The Great Love Debate. It's the Great Love Debate.