WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.160 --> 00:00:11.759 This is pod Populi Podcast for the People, The Great Love Debate. It's 2 00:00:11.800 --> 00:00:18.160 the Great Love Debate, the Great Love Debate. It's a Great Love Debate. 3 00:00:18.760 --> 00:00:23.079 Hi again, Everyone's Brian Howie. Welcome to The Great Love Debate, 4 00:00:23.120 --> 00:00:27.839 the world's number one dating and relationship podcast since two thousand and fifteen. I 5 00:00:27.879 --> 00:00:31.920 am here in the very fine studios of pod Populi Podcast for the People. 6 00:00:32.280 --> 00:00:37.600 I am the one in Scottsdale, Arizona. And the temperature outside is surface 7 00:00:37.719 --> 00:00:44.359 of the sun, So plan accordingly. Now, I a couple of things. 8 00:00:44.399 --> 00:00:47.560 First of all, last week's podcast I got a lot of really good 9 00:00:47.560 --> 00:00:50.600 feedback on it. It was a little bit of a downer. So as 10 00:00:50.600 --> 00:00:54.640 I say at the pot Great Love Debate, here, we are always selling 11 00:00:54.719 --> 00:00:58.079 hope, and I'm going to sell you some hope today. I in the 12 00:00:58.200 --> 00:01:00.479 in the history of this podcast. This is like the four hundred and eleventh 13 00:01:00.479 --> 00:01:04.519 episode of this is I think I have zoomed somebody and as a guest maybe 14 00:01:06.120 --> 00:01:08.159 six times. I don't like it. I think everybody should be in person. 15 00:01:10.439 --> 00:01:12.319 I just you know, get in the same rooms. But even during 16 00:01:12.319 --> 00:01:15.599 the height of COVID, I kept podcasting and making people coming and spread their 17 00:01:15.599 --> 00:01:19.359 germs all over me. I didn't care. I wanted to podcast for you 18 00:01:19.480 --> 00:01:23.439 people full of germs. I made an exception. I'm making an exception. 19 00:01:23.760 --> 00:01:27.000 She has been on this podcast many times before. She's been on our live 20 00:01:27.079 --> 00:01:33.280 stage more than anybody else has ever. She contacted me about a week and 21 00:01:33.319 --> 00:01:37.959 a half ago. Somehow the light bulb has gone off in her love life. 22 00:01:37.959 --> 00:01:40.640 I will let her get into the details about that for a second. 23 00:01:40.799 --> 00:01:44.719 I'm gonna give her a proper intro. She is the wing woman, is 24 00:01:44.760 --> 00:01:48.079 that right? She has been on a whole lot of reality television shows. 25 00:01:48.079 --> 00:01:51.959 Bubbies Knows Best. I think she's on to tell the Truth. I think 26 00:01:51.959 --> 00:01:55.400 she give it your list, Aaron Davis, everybody rattle off your list. 27 00:01:57.439 --> 00:02:00.359 Yes, I was the host of Bubbies No Best on Wish Life Television or 28 00:02:00.439 --> 00:02:06.200 I think it was four seasons. I did HDTV's Beachfront Bargain Hunt. My 29 00:02:06.280 --> 00:02:10.479 favorite show was ABC's To Tell the Truth. I did Club, a show 30 00:02:10.520 --> 00:02:15.199 called Camp Getaway on Bravo. Yeah what, I don't even remember all the 31 00:02:15.240 --> 00:02:19.639 other ones. There's been a lot, right, and you are a wing 32 00:02:19.719 --> 00:02:24.879 woman matchmaker who over the last few years since I've known you, it wasn't 33 00:02:24.919 --> 00:02:29.520 really working out in the love department for yourself, as sometimes happened with people 34 00:02:29.520 --> 00:02:32.520 in the biz. Is that a fair way to look at it. Yes, 35 00:02:32.639 --> 00:02:37.319 it works out for my clients, works out with my help, But 36 00:02:37.520 --> 00:02:42.039 I definitely didn't prioritize myself either in the process. I definitely am one of 37 00:02:42.080 --> 00:02:46.680 those workaholic wing women that have dedicated to helping others more than helping herself. 38 00:02:46.800 --> 00:02:50.879 But is that I have learned a few things in the process. Is that 39 00:02:51.039 --> 00:02:53.879 is that it built in I don't know, an excuse but crutch that you 40 00:02:53.919 --> 00:02:58.240 can mentally convince yourself like I just don't I'm so focused on these other people. 41 00:02:58.280 --> 00:03:00.599 I don't have time for me. Yeah, I ad, I'm so 42 00:03:00.719 --> 00:03:02.159 focused on work. You know what's funny When I was on ABC's to Tell 43 00:03:02.159 --> 00:03:06.080 the Truth, You know how they knew that I was the undercover wing woman 44 00:03:06.199 --> 00:03:09.159 on that show because they asked everyone on the panel to find the real wing 45 00:03:09.240 --> 00:03:13.719 woman, which one of you is single? And I had to be honest 46 00:03:13.759 --> 00:03:15.240 and say I was single, and the other two said they were taken, 47 00:03:15.240 --> 00:03:17.879 and they said that's the single one. They're always the most screwed up. 48 00:03:19.199 --> 00:03:22.840 Oh, they knew that, so they underco Yep, that's how they found 49 00:03:22.879 --> 00:03:24.680 me undercover on that show. They knew which one was the real wing woman 50 00:03:24.719 --> 00:03:30.039 on ABC's to tell the truth, because that's what they said the old those 51 00:03:30.080 --> 00:03:32.319 who can't teach. I believe that. But that being said, I do 52 00:03:32.520 --> 00:03:38.639 defend the people in the love biz who are not in a relationship or have 53 00:03:38.680 --> 00:03:43.000 not been married for twenty years or whatever. You know, Bill Belichick coaches 54 00:03:43.080 --> 00:03:46.039 Tom Brady or did for a long time, and he never played quarterback, 55 00:03:46.039 --> 00:03:47.159 he never played in the NFL, he never played pro football. Yeah, 56 00:03:47.199 --> 00:03:51.039 it doesn't mean that he doesn't have the understanding in the skill set to pass 57 00:03:51.080 --> 00:03:53.280 it along. So I'm not one of those people who think just because because 58 00:03:53.280 --> 00:03:57.800 I know a lot of people in your business who who are married to somebody 59 00:03:57.840 --> 00:04:00.319 who they definitely could not be married to anybody else. And I'm not sure 60 00:04:00.360 --> 00:04:03.120 they're in a strictly heterosexual relationship either. If you know what I mean, 61 00:04:04.439 --> 00:04:08.560 you could also, you know, defend that we're actually the wisest evolved them 62 00:04:08.560 --> 00:04:11.919 because we're constantly studying it. We're not going to mess up when people tell 63 00:04:11.960 --> 00:04:14.039 me, you know, you're thirty eight years old, did you miss your 64 00:04:14.039 --> 00:04:15.759 window? I said, yeah, I missed my divorce window. Yeah, 65 00:04:15.800 --> 00:04:18.959 you did. You You're in the same age. Nail it. I'm going 66 00:04:19.040 --> 00:04:21.120 to be a one for one, yeah, I said. When I get 67 00:04:21.120 --> 00:04:25.000 it right, I'm money ya right, Yeah, And I agree with that 68 00:04:25.120 --> 00:04:30.199 and it. You know, there's also a lot of skill and value in 69 00:04:30.360 --> 00:04:34.279 getting out of a bad relationship, and a lot of people don't necessarily do 70 00:04:34.319 --> 00:04:39.279 that anyway, moving forward into what I want to talk about today. So 71 00:04:39.399 --> 00:04:44.959 you contacted me about a week and a half ago and you said what I 72 00:04:45.000 --> 00:04:49.279 said, I found love in about a month and less than a month, 73 00:04:49.399 --> 00:04:53.199 I said, Brian, I did something that you and I have talked about 74 00:04:53.240 --> 00:04:57.959 that we swore with something everybody should should do, but they just don't do 75 00:04:58.000 --> 00:05:00.279 it right. So let's go back to the beg did you do well, 76 00:05:00.319 --> 00:05:03.519 Let's go back to the beginning of the year. So somewhere around you, 77 00:05:03.800 --> 00:05:09.639 did you make a vow a new Year's resolution? Something changed in your mindset 78 00:05:09.680 --> 00:05:14.680 going into twenty twenty three. Yes, So it's actually really important you understand 79 00:05:14.720 --> 00:05:17.160 how the process happened because you do have to be in the right place. 80 00:05:17.439 --> 00:05:23.199 So I was really sick in January. I got diagnosed with trigeminal MIRALJA and 81 00:05:23.439 --> 00:05:26.399 it knocked me off my feet. I had a really hard few months. 82 00:05:27.040 --> 00:05:30.120 I got surgeries, I figured it out, and I started feeling better, 83 00:05:30.560 --> 00:05:34.120 and then I had this epiphany through all of it. And my birthday was 84 00:05:34.199 --> 00:05:38.680 March twenty third, and I decided that, you know what, I have 85 00:05:39.120 --> 00:05:43.720 really spent the last few years, especially in the pandemic, just dedicating all 86 00:05:43.800 --> 00:05:46.519 my free moments to helping my clients and helping other people find love. And 87 00:05:46.600 --> 00:05:49.800 I'm super private, as you know, I'm pretty private about my own personal 88 00:05:49.879 --> 00:05:53.000 dating life. Does I mean I don't have anything going on? I do, 89 00:05:53.040 --> 00:05:56.120 I just don't really share it. So I decided on my birthday I 90 00:05:56.160 --> 00:06:00.120 was going to publicly post that I am going to look for myself. Oh. 91 00:06:00.240 --> 00:06:01.399 I kind of did a little bit of manifesting, and you know, 92 00:06:01.439 --> 00:06:04.439 I'm not a very fru fru I wish I was more spiritual, a little 93 00:06:04.439 --> 00:06:08.560 more frou free than I am. So I decided to kind of manifest it 94 00:06:08.600 --> 00:06:11.319 and I took. Of course, I didn't have a birthday cake, you 95 00:06:11.360 --> 00:06:14.399 know me. My friends got me a piece of an orange which still had 96 00:06:14.439 --> 00:06:16.519 too much sugar to be honest, But I had a wedge maybe okay for 97 00:06:16.519 --> 00:06:18.920 good luck. They put a candle in it. They brought it to my 98 00:06:18.959 --> 00:06:21.839 birthday table. They said, make a wish and I said, I know 99 00:06:21.879 --> 00:06:25.399 it's bad luck to say this, but I'm going to wish for love for 100 00:06:25.439 --> 00:06:28.319 myself this year. But it's been a really bad year for me, and 101 00:06:28.360 --> 00:06:31.639 I think I'm going to focus on myself now. And then I decided. 102 00:06:31.720 --> 00:06:33.759 My friend said, you know what, we need you to post that to 103 00:06:33.800 --> 00:06:36.959 Facebook. We want you to actually project it because no one really knows if 104 00:06:36.959 --> 00:06:41.399 you're single, No one really knows if you're looking for yourself. So I 105 00:06:41.439 --> 00:06:44.399 did it and that was a huge move for me. Okay, and it 106 00:06:44.560 --> 00:06:47.879 and it really reverberated. I was it was crazy. The response was actually 107 00:06:48.519 --> 00:06:50.839 much bigger than I thought it was going to be. It was just a 108 00:06:50.920 --> 00:06:55.319 simple post, a simple post that just said, Hey, I'm looking for 109 00:06:55.360 --> 00:06:58.519 a love on my thirty eight thanks for all the birthday love whatever. And 110 00:06:59.079 --> 00:07:03.120 one of those responses was through a matchmaker who said I think I have this 111 00:07:03.160 --> 00:07:06.879 guy, and her message really really resonated with me. It wasn't like the 112 00:07:06.920 --> 00:07:10.839 typicult hey I have you have to share it. You know you've got to 113 00:07:10.879 --> 00:07:15.160 meet I'm just just trust me and they don't give me any She really did. 114 00:07:15.560 --> 00:07:17.040 She dove deep. She was like, you seem like you really value 115 00:07:17.079 --> 00:07:21.000 fitness. You you know you're twois. She gave me a more a deep 116 00:07:21.040 --> 00:07:24.800 analysis, and I said, you know what, Okay, let's spacetime. 117 00:07:24.879 --> 00:07:28.480 And I was given other people chances to but this this guy that she kind 118 00:07:28.480 --> 00:07:30.639 of introduced me to resonate and you know what, after having a near death 119 00:07:30.680 --> 00:07:33.000 experience in January, I was like, I'm not going to waste my time 120 00:07:33.040 --> 00:07:35.959 anymore. You and I had always talked about this. People should just get 121 00:07:35.959 --> 00:07:40.160 to the get to the bottom of things really quick, right. So I 122 00:07:40.199 --> 00:07:45.920 meet this guy in April and it was a great first second date, and 123 00:07:45.959 --> 00:07:47.279 so he says, why don't you come visit me? He lived in Austin, 124 00:07:47.399 --> 00:07:49.839 So I go visit him, and how does that happen? So you're 125 00:07:49.879 --> 00:07:53.800 in New York, he flies to New York, Like, how does the 126 00:07:53.800 --> 00:07:57.319 first date happen? Happens? To be the whole thing about this, we 127 00:07:57.439 --> 00:08:03.000 called the accelerator because from day one and it was an accelerated program, and 128 00:08:03.040 --> 00:08:07.720 we even started writing a guideline of what does accelerated dating mean? So when 129 00:08:07.759 --> 00:08:11.319 he flew here. We did a whirlwind of like a forty eight hours to 130 00:08:11.360 --> 00:08:13.680 see my entire life. He did a workout with me, and he's a 131 00:08:13.720 --> 00:08:18.199 CrossFit guy too, so he kept up with me. So we did a 132 00:08:18.240 --> 00:08:22.759 really hard workout. We went boozy brunching together on a Tuesday afternoon. He 133 00:08:22.839 --> 00:08:26.160 took me to a wine bar. We saw all each other's modes from working 134 00:08:26.160 --> 00:08:31.519 out, working back up, backup, back up. You are told when 135 00:08:31.600 --> 00:08:33.879 you're going to get an introduced the guy, you know that he does not 136 00:08:33.960 --> 00:08:37.039 live in the same city as you. I do. Were you Were you 137 00:08:37.080 --> 00:08:41.159 open to that? I said, right off, you know me, I'm 138 00:08:41.159 --> 00:08:43.840 the New York wingwoman. I'm a city girl. And she said, we 139 00:08:43.919 --> 00:08:48.559 know, we know, Okay, she knew. I said, you know, 140 00:08:48.720 --> 00:08:52.120 I'm open to flying to visiting se people, but I'm a New York 141 00:08:52.120 --> 00:08:54.639 woman, right. So he so he says, you're from John's Creek, 142 00:08:54.639 --> 00:09:01.879 Georgia, so not exactly southern. Okay. So now so he knows you 143 00:09:01.879 --> 00:09:05.200 live in New York and he's like, I don't care, she looks hot. 144 00:09:05.279 --> 00:09:07.080 I'm gonna get on an airplane. He had done his research. He 145 00:09:07.120 --> 00:09:11.440 had he had in his defense it wasn't just a matchmaker. He had done 146 00:09:11.480 --> 00:09:13.759 his own research and said, this is somebody. This is someone I think 147 00:09:13.879 --> 00:09:16.720 is very compatible, knowing the New York being open, He's only been in 148 00:09:16.759 --> 00:09:20.320 austin a short amount of time, all things considered. He's from La your 149 00:09:20.320 --> 00:09:26.080 favorite town, you know. Um and so yeah, so he flew here 150 00:09:26.120 --> 00:09:28.639 first, which I think is the right thing to do. Did that make 151 00:09:28.679 --> 00:09:31.519 you nervous that a guy was getting on a plane for you? Not at 152 00:09:31.559 --> 00:09:37.919 all? You think that was my first time? You come on, there's 153 00:09:37.919 --> 00:09:41.759 a line at LaGuardia coming into town for you. Yeah, I guess, 154 00:09:41.080 --> 00:09:46.039 Okay, okay, so he comes into town. Um, your meet in 155 00:09:46.159 --> 00:09:52.360 person, but you also know you're committed to spending at least a day with 156 00:09:52.480 --> 00:09:56.080 him. I think, right, yeah, yeah, And I don't know, 157 00:09:56.159 --> 00:09:58.759 you know what it was. We've talked about this earlier too. It's 158 00:09:58.840 --> 00:10:01.279 all of a sudden when you just each this sense of self, like I 159 00:10:01.399 --> 00:10:05.279 feel so comfortable with who I am. I you know, I don't think 160 00:10:05.320 --> 00:10:07.720 I did five years ago. I don't think I could have thrown myself into 161 00:10:07.759 --> 00:10:11.919 something five years ago without freaking out or without even being myself. Um, 162 00:10:13.279 --> 00:10:16.759 I wasn't even the least bit nervous. Okay, not even not at all. 163 00:10:16.840 --> 00:10:22.240 You're not overthinking, You're not overthinking sedatives, Yeah, sedatives help? 164 00:10:22.559 --> 00:10:24.279 Yeah, I was. I mean when you have When I had a neurological 165 00:10:24.279 --> 00:10:28.879 disease in surgeries, they had to put me on an anti seizure med for 166 00:10:28.919 --> 00:10:31.679 a while. So I was really calm. But I promise it wasn't just 167 00:10:31.720 --> 00:10:35.120 that. It was also mental and emotional calm. And I don't know there's 168 00:10:35.120 --> 00:10:39.600 a sense of self that hits. I guess it's really when you I guess 169 00:10:39.600 --> 00:10:43.480 thirty eighth the magic number. I have no idea, but I was calm, 170 00:10:43.559 --> 00:10:46.879 man, I wasn't even the least bit nervous. They're not even a 171 00:10:46.879 --> 00:10:48.440 little bit, not even a little Oh. I also bring my roadie. 172 00:10:48.440 --> 00:10:54.159 You know about my roadie, right, your roadie? Yeah, I swear 173 00:10:54.200 --> 00:10:56.519 by this. You know, I bring a roadie before any first date. 174 00:10:56.600 --> 00:11:01.519 So I packed my little like you know, my plastic cup, put a 175 00:11:01.519 --> 00:11:05.320 little bit of diet sprite in some absolute vanilla in there, and I take 176 00:11:05.320 --> 00:11:09.519 it on the subway listen to some good music. How are you nervous when 177 00:11:09.519 --> 00:11:11.919 you got a roadie and some music on the way to your first date. 178 00:11:11.240 --> 00:11:15.399 No, no nerves. That's my key, it's my secret. Okay, 179 00:11:15.799 --> 00:11:20.120 So you decide, did you have to set up a whole itinerary for an 180 00:11:20.159 --> 00:11:24.480 out of town er? No? So that that's actually a good question because 181 00:11:24.480 --> 00:11:28.320 he went above and beyond with his itinerary for me. But no, I 182 00:11:28.360 --> 00:11:31.279 didn't. He had a whole plan that it was going to be a go 183 00:11:31.399 --> 00:11:35.360 with the flow. So if the first date wasn't great, he was just 184 00:11:35.399 --> 00:11:37.639 going to go home. But he had some backups. Well guess what. 185 00:11:39.080 --> 00:11:41.279 I had backups and they were with another guy, which he now knows. 186 00:11:41.320 --> 00:11:45.080 Oh my god. I didn't think I was going to see him for two 187 00:11:45.159 --> 00:11:48.039 days. I thought I was going to see him for one night and he 188 00:11:48.120 --> 00:11:50.279 was only in town for a night, So I had another guy taking me 189 00:11:50.320 --> 00:11:54.159 out the next night. Did he not to get too intimate here? But 190 00:11:54.440 --> 00:11:58.080 did you discuss the sleeping arrangements? Where are you staying before you? Now? 191 00:12:00.039 --> 00:12:01.879 That was too No, this was just to me on the first date, 192 00:12:01.919 --> 00:12:05.519 first meeting. No way, And I would never let a client do 193 00:12:05.600 --> 00:12:07.120 that either. You just come in, you figure it all out on your 194 00:12:07.120 --> 00:12:11.320 own, but you just come and take them on a date. That's you 195 00:12:11.320 --> 00:12:13.759 don't stay with them too soon? Now second second trip? You know my 196 00:12:13.840 --> 00:12:16.679 rules with I don't know your rules. I don't. But before you came, 197 00:12:16.759 --> 00:12:20.440 did he be like where should I stay? Like? Was there has 198 00:12:20.480 --> 00:12:22.720 to be a conversation about it? You never said that I would no, 199 00:12:24.080 --> 00:12:28.279 no, no, no eating. Now I don't meeting if they're going to 200 00:12:28.360 --> 00:12:31.320 fly up to see you. Now they take care of their own stuff. 201 00:12:31.480 --> 00:12:37.240 Okay, fair enough? Um okay, So how long into the first meeting 202 00:12:37.399 --> 00:12:43.480 are you thinking I might like him? Um? I did see his giant 203 00:12:43.559 --> 00:12:48.960 muscles. Uh eye contact, so that did shave my I was a little 204 00:12:50.000 --> 00:12:52.480 like, what's happening right now? What's his name again? Um? They 205 00:12:52.519 --> 00:12:56.279 are giant? Um? So once I got past that, once I was 206 00:12:56.279 --> 00:13:00.320 like, should I take my contacts out so I can think clearly? Here? 207 00:13:00.919 --> 00:13:05.399 You know I and trust me? My Roadie made the muscles even bigger. 208 00:13:05.440 --> 00:13:09.080 So my eyes were just bugging out of my head. But you know, 209 00:13:09.279 --> 00:13:13.440 very soon, his whole energy was exactly what a first date two people 210 00:13:13.519 --> 00:13:18.000 going in positive but not over the top, not fake, not just genuine. 211 00:13:18.039 --> 00:13:20.559 I think we were both positive and excited to meet each other, and 212 00:13:20.600 --> 00:13:24.120 it was just the right energy. I mean, he has an easy laugh 213 00:13:24.200 --> 00:13:28.960 too. He's funny. Lad. We're going to get into the real adventurous 214 00:13:28.000 --> 00:13:33.200 part of this. I am here with Aaron Davis. We are talking about 215 00:13:33.120 --> 00:13:37.240 I think a first date that I'm not sure it's ended yet. I gotta 216 00:13:37.240 --> 00:13:41.080 take a quick break because we gotta pay for exotic travel like these guys with 217 00:13:41.159 --> 00:13:50.519 big muscles too, And we will be back right after this and we're back, 218 00:13:50.320 --> 00:13:54.480 okay. First date in New York goes well, he goes to he's 219 00:13:54.519 --> 00:13:58.559 getting ready to leave. Do you do you plan the second date before he 220 00:13:58.600 --> 00:14:03.039 gets on an airplane? How does that work? So we hypothetically did. 221 00:14:03.080 --> 00:14:05.559 I think we both kind of knew this was going well. We did a 222 00:14:05.639 --> 00:14:11.240 work out together, which was really fun at Crunch Gym of all places. 223 00:14:11.320 --> 00:14:13.600 But we both did really well and like we knew we were having fun. 224 00:14:13.639 --> 00:14:18.080 And then we talked about a hypothetical second date in Austin. He was part 225 00:14:18.120 --> 00:14:20.679 of a pickle ball. He planned it in the next couple of days, 226 00:14:20.919 --> 00:14:24.080 when once he flew home, he said, you know you want to come 227 00:14:24.080 --> 00:14:26.679 to Austin. You could do that batball. Then does it become a headache? 228 00:14:26.720 --> 00:14:30.519 Like, oh shit? I like a guy who lives in Texas, 229 00:14:30.679 --> 00:14:33.200 does this enter your mind, like what do I do with this information? 230 00:14:33.360 --> 00:14:37.960 You know? Or no? You know? It used to what we're going 231 00:14:39.039 --> 00:14:43.240 to have to do another podcast sometime. I did something called a Suburbia experiment 232 00:14:43.320 --> 00:14:45.919 over the course of the last year, where I got the hell out of 233 00:14:45.960 --> 00:14:48.679 New York City and I dated in the suburbs, and I said, you 234 00:14:48.720 --> 00:14:52.200 know what, I need to see that life exists out of Manhattan because the 235 00:14:52.240 --> 00:14:56.320 people here just it ain't working out, okay, And I'll tell you what. 236 00:14:56.399 --> 00:15:01.919 I became very open to looking at other cities and then probably brainwashing them 237 00:15:01.960 --> 00:15:05.440 and bring them back here. But I still wanted to explore other cities. 238 00:15:05.480 --> 00:15:09.759 And I believe if two people have a found a solid foundation, you can 239 00:15:09.799 --> 00:15:13.279 make it work if both are flexible. And he told me right off the 240 00:15:13.320 --> 00:15:16.639 bat he was a flexible person. He loves to travel and he would live 241 00:15:16.919 --> 00:15:20.039 somewhere else. Yeah. I think so too. A lot of people are 242 00:15:20.080 --> 00:15:22.559 so stuck in their ways because then they can then they can blame the city. 243 00:15:22.799 --> 00:15:26.840 This city sucks, there's nobody here, and that's why I have found 244 00:15:26.879 --> 00:15:28.519 it. And then they realize if they moved to another city and it doesn't 245 00:15:28.559 --> 00:15:31.960 work out, well, maybe it's them. You know. We advise people, 246 00:15:31.440 --> 00:15:33.799 Yeah, thank you. I mean we advise people all the time that 247 00:15:35.639 --> 00:15:37.440 if you're not in a relationship, you need to move at least seven hundred 248 00:15:37.440 --> 00:15:41.399 miles like every six years or something like. You really have to play in 249 00:15:41.440 --> 00:15:45.320 a different sandbox to do that. Okay, So then you go to Texas. 250 00:15:45.360 --> 00:15:48.559 Have you ever been to Texas? I have only been to Houston once 251 00:15:48.559 --> 00:15:52.879 for work and that was it like ten years ago. So this was a 252 00:15:52.960 --> 00:15:56.480 big This was a big thing for me. But I literally even my parents 253 00:15:56.480 --> 00:16:00.799 were on board. They're like, give us your dog. We were going 254 00:16:00.879 --> 00:16:02.679 to pet sit for you for a couple of days, and you need to 255 00:16:02.679 --> 00:16:03.679 get out of town. You need to go figure this out. You just 256 00:16:03.720 --> 00:16:07.200 see. My parents are all part my old fashioned southern parents who met at 257 00:16:07.240 --> 00:16:11.000 Denny Steiner. Were like, honey, you need to get on a plane 258 00:16:11.000 --> 00:16:12.279 and you need to figure this shit out. You're thirty eight years old. 259 00:16:12.399 --> 00:16:18.720 Let's do this. So they were they were all horrid, babe, and 260 00:16:18.799 --> 00:16:21.240 threw in their own advice. You better when you see him, you give 261 00:16:21.320 --> 00:16:22.759 him a big hug, and you sit on the same side of the booth 262 00:16:22.960 --> 00:16:26.399 the whole trip. You hear me, you sit right next to that boy. 263 00:16:26.559 --> 00:16:30.000 Yeah, I see if there's chemistry right away thirty eight they were all 264 00:16:30.039 --> 00:16:34.799 hard. You know, for some women it gives them incentive and pressure to 265 00:16:34.879 --> 00:16:38.360 do this. You kind of looked at it as like you were liberated at 266 00:16:38.399 --> 00:16:41.559 thirty eight to do this, Like I am old enough. I fuck it, 267 00:16:41.679 --> 00:16:45.639 I'm gonna do this. Absolutely. I look at it like that. 268 00:16:45.759 --> 00:16:49.039 I don't have a ticking clock. I've never been the woman who's feels pressured 269 00:16:49.080 --> 00:16:52.519 or rushed. But I just feel free. That's exactly what it is. 270 00:16:52.559 --> 00:16:56.480 It's in no way pressure or ticking. It's just like, oh my god, 271 00:16:56.559 --> 00:16:59.360 life is short, this is awesome. Let's just bring and do it. 272 00:16:59.440 --> 00:17:00.919 You are not interested in gaining that baby weight, I know you. 273 00:17:02.720 --> 00:17:06.079 Oh you know me. I literally tell my parents if it doesn't work out 274 00:17:06.079 --> 00:17:07.799 for a baby, I'll tell you what I've got. My baby is my 275 00:17:08.119 --> 00:17:11.559 six pack. I'm going to hold onto it and my belly ring. You 276 00:17:11.599 --> 00:17:15.000 know, it's been great. That belly ring is a great very well. 277 00:17:15.079 --> 00:17:18.200 You know, So are you guys expressing What is the conversation like? Are 278 00:17:18.200 --> 00:17:22.440 you expressing feelings? Are you like this is going pretty well? Are you 279 00:17:22.480 --> 00:17:25.599 just going with the flow. At what point does somebody do you start to 280 00:17:25.640 --> 00:17:30.480 talk about what's going on here? So we did start talking about like how 281 00:17:30.480 --> 00:17:33.640 it would work long distance, but we were talking about trips. We were 282 00:17:33.640 --> 00:17:37.920 saying, like, you know what we should spend We should do something like 283 00:17:37.119 --> 00:17:41.519 go halfway around the world. We should take big trips together. But here's 284 00:17:41.519 --> 00:17:44.119 the cool thing. We both realized this early on. We said, it 285 00:17:44.160 --> 00:17:47.640 sounds like some of the things we're planning seem like it's going pretty quick, 286 00:17:47.720 --> 00:17:52.319 right, it's accelerating. However, emotionally, we don't believe in doing that. 287 00:17:52.400 --> 00:17:56.279 We let that progress on its own. But give yourself the experiences and 288 00:17:56.319 --> 00:18:00.279 the opportunities that would allow you to develop emotions a little bit fat, start 289 00:18:00.319 --> 00:18:03.359 get to know each other faster. But don't love bomb. There's a huge 290 00:18:03.400 --> 00:18:06.880 difference. And I keep wanting to tell all my clients what I did wasn't 291 00:18:06.920 --> 00:18:11.480 some love bombing thing. It was an adventure with the person who's incredible that 292 00:18:11.599 --> 00:18:14.559 we wanted to see if we had compatibility. But it was not a love 293 00:18:14.640 --> 00:18:18.599 bombing experience. And there's a huge difference. When you love bomb someone, 294 00:18:18.640 --> 00:18:21.400 you tell them you're in love with them, you boling had them like for 295 00:18:21.640 --> 00:18:23.559 you know, two or three dates and you're just you're you're riding on a 296 00:18:23.640 --> 00:18:26.480 high. You've got nowhere to go after that. But what do you then? 297 00:18:26.519 --> 00:18:30.079 What do you say to let them know? I meanbe you don't say 298 00:18:30.079 --> 00:18:33.279 anything, maybe you just let the actions do it. But is there something 299 00:18:33.319 --> 00:18:36.519 you say, like you know, this is actually nice? Like what do 300 00:18:36.559 --> 00:18:41.200 you say, yeah, oh that's sweet? Oh right, this feels nice? 301 00:18:41.799 --> 00:18:44.440 You know yeah, we would say like yes, we said like, 302 00:18:44.599 --> 00:18:45.960 you know, this is like different, right, and I'm like, yeah, 303 00:18:47.000 --> 00:18:49.480 this is like really easy for me. It was the word easy and 304 00:18:49.559 --> 00:18:53.920 natural. I think that I had never had experiences where I started dating somebody 305 00:18:53.960 --> 00:18:59.279 and I wasn't like feel I wasn't like pulling teeth a little bit where you're 306 00:18:59.279 --> 00:19:02.039 just like, hey, we have this in common and this looks good, 307 00:19:02.079 --> 00:19:04.640 but it's not quite there. But let's keep pulling and trying. And what 308 00:19:04.759 --> 00:19:08.000 I want to tell peoples when it's easy, it's it's easy. You don't 309 00:19:08.000 --> 00:19:10.839 even have to think about it. You're just like, wow, there's a 310 00:19:10.880 --> 00:19:14.039 solid base here. Doesn't mean that there's not going to be problems. So 311 00:19:14.160 --> 00:19:15.799 doesn't mean the real life, you know, love isn't enough for a lot 312 00:19:15.839 --> 00:19:19.240 of people also. However, it's really nice when you have a solid base 313 00:19:19.279 --> 00:19:23.160 to work with and you have that natural chemistry that you don't have to overthink. 314 00:19:25.039 --> 00:19:27.680 So he traveled for you, then you traveled for him, and then 315 00:19:27.720 --> 00:19:33.720 the biggest step is we're going to travel together. Yes, yes, So 316 00:19:33.920 --> 00:19:37.720 here's the thing. Before I traveled to him, well, you were already 317 00:19:37.920 --> 00:19:41.319 excited enough that he was telling me about his travel schedule. He works in 318 00:19:41.440 --> 00:19:44.200 Ai and he's a speaker all around the world. He was telling me some 319 00:19:44.359 --> 00:19:47.680 very exciting gigs he had coming up, and he was like, hey, 320 00:19:47.680 --> 00:19:49.440 who knows, you know, maybe you could come to like Thailand with me. 321 00:19:49.519 --> 00:19:55.200 And I was like, oh right, So we kind of had proposed 322 00:19:55.240 --> 00:19:57.599 that. But then here's where I was a little sneaky, sneak. Okay, 323 00:19:57.680 --> 00:20:00.519 so he invites me to offer. But I was using Austin as a 324 00:20:00.599 --> 00:20:06.240 secret test because if we could make it where I'm immersed in his life, 325 00:20:06.319 --> 00:20:10.119 his home life, his life down there for about four days, that tells 326 00:20:10.119 --> 00:20:12.559 me everything I need to know. Really, in my opinion, to take 327 00:20:12.640 --> 00:20:17.400 a giant leap, and you, I was on guard the second that I 328 00:20:17.519 --> 00:20:19.519 landed in Austin. I'll tell you I was looking for little things because I 329 00:20:19.519 --> 00:20:22.640 have traveled with men before. Right, first thing I did, I had 330 00:20:22.680 --> 00:20:26.799 to go to the bathroom. I walked into his bathroom in Austin, looked 331 00:20:26.839 --> 00:20:29.680 around, you know, as the toilet seat up, which by the way, 332 00:20:29.799 --> 00:20:30.559 is a good thing. It's a good thing. I want a guy 333 00:20:30.559 --> 00:20:33.400 that don't care he needs a little bit of teaching, little bit of refinement. 334 00:20:33.599 --> 00:20:37.519 But what he wear, my heart started to skip a beat, was 335 00:20:37.559 --> 00:20:42.319 that he had Denture cleaner just left out on like Denture cleaner tabs just left 336 00:20:42.359 --> 00:20:45.559 out on the sink without any regard. Well, I wear I swear by 337 00:20:45.599 --> 00:20:48.160 my night guard, and I'm always nervous to tell a guy I wear a 338 00:20:48.279 --> 00:20:52.839 night guard to like at least the third or fourth sleepover. Right right then 339 00:20:52.880 --> 00:20:55.759 and there, I was like, he's just laid it out on the counter, 340 00:20:55.960 --> 00:20:57.559 literally, And I came out of the bathroom and I said, be 341 00:20:57.680 --> 00:21:04.759 still, my heart. We share the same the same effordint polly Din Denture 342 00:21:06.000 --> 00:21:07.519 cleaner. And I said, so that means I can tell you about my 343 00:21:07.640 --> 00:21:11.759 night guard, And like, right, that's what you need to have. 344 00:21:11.960 --> 00:21:15.680 You need to have that like hurt that I don't want to travel with someone 345 00:21:15.680 --> 00:21:19.400 who's OCD who tells me, yeah, you need to use this hand so 346 00:21:21.000 --> 00:21:23.359 you can't touch this, you sleep on this set. And right away I 347 00:21:23.359 --> 00:21:27.720 could tell this guy laughed it off the way he welcomed me into his home. 348 00:21:27.799 --> 00:21:30.519 You know what Elsie did, You'd love. He works for a pet 349 00:21:30.559 --> 00:21:34.119 sitting company for fun on the side because he loves dogs but doesn't have time 350 00:21:34.160 --> 00:21:38.480 to own him. And he rented a dog for the trip. So while 351 00:21:38.519 --> 00:21:41.240 I came to Austin. Yeah, he decided to pet sit. Knew how 352 00:21:41.319 --> 00:21:44.720 much I loved animals, so he decided to pet sit for a dog. 353 00:21:44.759 --> 00:21:47.279 And he's like, we can see how we are together with dogs. Yeah, 354 00:21:47.319 --> 00:21:49.119 that's a good move. So this was like the good move, right. 355 00:21:49.160 --> 00:21:52.680 You've heard me say, you know you have your dog? Well you 356 00:21:52.880 --> 00:21:55.480 yeah, I mean you always hear me say you always trust a dog that 357 00:21:55.519 --> 00:21:56.960 doesn't like a person, and you would never trust a person who doesn't like 358 00:21:57.000 --> 00:22:02.599 a dog exactly. And even better than that, he says, dog can 359 00:22:02.640 --> 00:22:04.160 sleep on the bed. I was like, this guy is great. He 360 00:22:04.200 --> 00:22:08.480 hadn't meant my dog yet. Okay, so there were little things I looked 361 00:22:08.480 --> 00:22:11.920 and looked at that trip before I was going to take a leap for our 362 00:22:12.359 --> 00:22:18.599 idea of going halfway around the world. Because what happened with us is we 363 00:22:18.640 --> 00:22:22.599 saw this video on YouTube. I don't know if you saw Bill Murray's video. 364 00:22:22.640 --> 00:22:26.960 It went viral. He was at JFK airport and he was ranting and 365 00:22:26.039 --> 00:22:29.880 he said, I'll tell you what. People who want to get married these 366 00:22:29.960 --> 00:22:33.400 days, you tell them to forget the whole courtship. They need to find 367 00:22:33.440 --> 00:22:37.440 their person and say, let's book a three week ticket halfway around the world. 368 00:22:37.599 --> 00:22:40.559 Pick a place that's hard to get to, hard to get out of. 369 00:22:41.079 --> 00:22:42.480 And then he said, and then three weeks later, you're gonna land 370 00:22:42.519 --> 00:22:45.920 at JFK and you're gonna know. And the best part about it is we 371 00:22:47.000 --> 00:22:49.319 literally did three weeks halfway around the world to a place it was hard to 372 00:22:49.319 --> 00:22:52.240 get out of, and we did land at JFK. So it was like 373 00:22:52.279 --> 00:22:56.400 Bill Murray's plan. And that's what I call it, the Bill Murray challenge. 374 00:22:56.559 --> 00:23:00.680 That we did decide to go to Asia right after that Austin trip, 375 00:23:00.000 --> 00:23:03.960 after I saw how we lived, how we drived, how he planned in 376 00:23:03.039 --> 00:23:07.359 the itinerary, and that's all you need to know. And you flew to 377 00:23:07.400 --> 00:23:11.720 Thailand. Is that correct? We did. We started in New Jersey for 378 00:23:11.799 --> 00:23:14.839 the night. Now you can't fly directly to Thailand, so where'd you go? 379 00:23:15.640 --> 00:23:18.279 No, So first weak it's important, you know. We started new 380 00:23:18.440 --> 00:23:22.359 in New Jersey at his sister's apartment with three kids for the night so she 381 00:23:22.400 --> 00:23:26.680 could drive us to Newark. So the trips already off to a very accelerated 382 00:23:26.720 --> 00:23:30.519 start. Meet the sister, three kids, and then we get to Newark, 383 00:23:30.559 --> 00:23:33.920 we fly to London for five days, and then from London we go 384 00:23:33.000 --> 00:23:37.079 to Vietnam for a week, and then for after a week in Vietnam, 385 00:23:37.160 --> 00:23:40.680 we do a week in Thailand. Wow. So it was a lot. 386 00:23:40.759 --> 00:23:42.599 So we started to meet it. It was good. London was like a 387 00:23:42.680 --> 00:23:47.240 good you know build up right, Yes, it's not too much of the 388 00:23:47.319 --> 00:23:52.240 jet last a little form and then we yeah yeah, ye different and the 389 00:23:52.160 --> 00:23:55.680 and then Thailand. I've been to Thailand, I don't know six times. 390 00:23:56.039 --> 00:23:59.640 I've never been to Vietnam. People people who go to Vietnam swear by it. 391 00:23:59.640 --> 00:24:02.000 They say it's the best, they love it. It was amazing, 392 00:24:02.319 --> 00:24:04.720 and it's it's a great trip to do with somebody. Because the language barrier, 393 00:24:06.200 --> 00:24:10.759 the cultural barrier, it's giant, so you've got to navigate everything together. 394 00:24:10.799 --> 00:24:14.880 The weather is crazy. I secretly got e coli. I didn't want 395 00:24:14.880 --> 00:24:17.240 to tell them, and I was like deathly ill, but I didn't want 396 00:24:17.240 --> 00:24:21.319 to ruin the romance. So imagine that obstacle on a trip in Vietnam. 397 00:24:21.400 --> 00:24:26.440 You're symptoms. Both are going to be sexy. I imagine with his muscles 398 00:24:26.440 --> 00:24:29.960 in your six back. You're both fairly healthy eaters. That part of the 399 00:24:29.960 --> 00:24:33.799 world is actually pretty good for that. Like both of those countries, it 400 00:24:33.000 --> 00:24:37.720 is they respect. The problem is they rin they rinse aw their lettuce with 401 00:24:37.759 --> 00:24:41.880 this water that will just kill you. So that was the only issue. 402 00:24:41.960 --> 00:24:45.039 So me eating all my lettuce, it got me. They got me, 403 00:24:45.400 --> 00:24:48.160 you know, they got me. Lettuce is one of the salads are one 404 00:24:48.200 --> 00:24:51.119 of the number one transmitters of food poisoning, which I just found out like 405 00:24:51.160 --> 00:24:55.160 a week ago. Um okay, so so you stick with cake cake pops 406 00:24:55.160 --> 00:24:59.920 at Starbucks? That's right? Are you ramping up the um? I really 407 00:25:00.039 --> 00:25:03.759 you care about? You are? Like? Where does the verbiage go? 408 00:25:04.039 --> 00:25:07.599 There's no I love you, so I take it, But where does it 409 00:25:07.680 --> 00:25:11.720 does it? Maybe there wasn't. Well I need to know when does Like 410 00:25:11.799 --> 00:25:15.759 I think I'm falling in love you. Where does that happen? Somewhere over 411 00:25:15.839 --> 00:25:19.640 Vietnam? It happens on the penultimate night of the entire trip. It was 412 00:25:19.720 --> 00:25:22.440 in Thai Land, so toward the end. I mean, we really made 413 00:25:22.480 --> 00:25:26.200 it through a lot. And it's not all it's not an easy thing to 414 00:25:26.240 --> 00:25:30.559 travel with somebody in these countries, not just mighty coal. I yeah, 415 00:25:30.680 --> 00:25:33.759 no, it's we had a flight. I mean we had a flight snappho. 416 00:25:34.079 --> 00:25:38.039 We had like really crazy weather, we had a lot to pop up. 417 00:25:38.079 --> 00:25:41.680 We both didn't feel good at certain times. I mean we had to 418 00:25:41.680 --> 00:25:45.160 deal with a lot of stressful situations. And when you go through highs and 419 00:25:45.319 --> 00:25:48.400 lows, you got to go through both. We did the map. We 420 00:25:48.480 --> 00:25:52.720 also had about what twenty something sleepovers in a row, where you wake up, 421 00:25:52.759 --> 00:25:56.279 you have breakfasts together, you make coffee. I thought, how long 422 00:25:56.319 --> 00:26:00.079 would that take in New York City to have that many nights together? And 423 00:26:00.079 --> 00:26:02.960 I would say it probably about six months. Yeah, right, you crammed 424 00:26:02.960 --> 00:26:06.480 it, you fast forwarded it. Yeah. Yeah. So we did tell 425 00:26:06.519 --> 00:26:08.759 each other that we loved each other after about three weeks, so right right 426 00:26:08.759 --> 00:26:11.519 before the trip ended, and that that's when we did the math, and 427 00:26:11.559 --> 00:26:15.640 we said it doesn't sound soon or no, And I said, you know, 428 00:26:15.640 --> 00:26:18.599 when you think about it, it feels like it should be. But 429 00:26:18.720 --> 00:26:22.480 when you have that experience that would have been stretched out over the course of 430 00:26:22.640 --> 00:26:26.559 at least six months, you are it felt it felt right. You're right, 431 00:26:26.599 --> 00:26:32.400 you are cramming all of it. And anybody can can travel together first 432 00:26:32.400 --> 00:26:37.400 class to Hawaii when everything goes well. Traveling together means things don't go well. 433 00:26:37.480 --> 00:26:41.759 Somebody loses a bag, somebody forgets their prescription, your flight gets delayed. 434 00:26:41.799 --> 00:26:44.440 You're like, like, that's when you see, because that's going to 435 00:26:44.440 --> 00:26:45.519 be life. And if you're going to dive into the deep end of the 436 00:26:45.559 --> 00:26:49.160 pool together, you have to see how they react to chaos, how they 437 00:26:49.200 --> 00:26:55.480 handle stress, how certain stimuli that is different. And there's a different stimuli 438 00:26:55.640 --> 00:27:00.599 in Asia that I've talked about that is different sounds and smells and activity that 439 00:27:00.119 --> 00:27:03.160 it just changes the way you see. And so if you can ride that 440 00:27:03.200 --> 00:27:08.519 out together, like you said, that is six nine months of regular American 441 00:27:08.640 --> 00:27:14.400 dating. Yes, that is the rolling with the punches, not literal punches. 442 00:27:14.440 --> 00:27:15.519 You don't you can't roll with those. But when you roll with like, 443 00:27:15.599 --> 00:27:19.680 you go with the flow and you really roll with it. Stresses how 444 00:27:19.720 --> 00:27:22.640 you deal with something. It's amazing how many people I've known in my life 445 00:27:22.640 --> 00:27:26.960 that I've dated. You just can flip a switch over the littlest thing, 446 00:27:26.200 --> 00:27:29.680 Oh my god, it's raining. The whole day's ruined, and then you 447 00:27:29.759 --> 00:27:33.000 see that we just laugh. The way we deal with hardships, the way 448 00:27:33.039 --> 00:27:36.079 you deal with travel. It's true, you don't find that stuff out till 449 00:27:36.079 --> 00:27:40.720 six or nine months in. So now is there a discussion on the penultimate 450 00:27:40.839 --> 00:27:44.680 night of the trip, which I like, excellent use of that? Thank 451 00:27:44.680 --> 00:27:48.119 you? When is there like okay, now what do we do about this? 452 00:27:48.240 --> 00:27:49.519 Or it's like let's not overthink it, let's just figure it out. 453 00:27:49.519 --> 00:27:52.839 What happens? Then? I know, I love that you said that, 454 00:27:52.920 --> 00:27:56.519 because that's also, you know, going to be the teaser for this whole 455 00:27:56.519 --> 00:28:00.519 podcast. People keep asking me when I got back from the trip, well 456 00:28:00.559 --> 00:28:04.200 then what ared like then what? Because I used to preach sustainability to my 457 00:28:04.240 --> 00:28:07.200 clients, like you can't rock at launch because then where do you go from 458 00:28:07.240 --> 00:28:11.400 there? And the important distinction is that we did not love bomb. We 459 00:28:11.440 --> 00:28:15.119 didn't emotionally rock at launch. We rock at launch with a life experience. 460 00:28:15.200 --> 00:28:18.960 I mean, it's kind of like the Bachelor extent that there's not twenty five 461 00:28:18.000 --> 00:28:22.119 other crazy people on a trip with us, but it is that the question 462 00:28:22.160 --> 00:28:26.799 of then what You've got to have the hard talk pretty fast too, like 463 00:28:26.880 --> 00:28:29.039 how is this going to work? The good news is one of us as 464 00:28:29.039 --> 00:28:32.960 a professional, so I do know kind of like how things go wrong, 465 00:28:33.359 --> 00:28:36.279 what could go wrong? What are its obstacles are going to be? Because 466 00:28:36.279 --> 00:28:37.599 the sad part is, you know, I know we're preaching holl Bryant, 467 00:28:37.839 --> 00:28:41.400 but the truth is love is not enough. You can find someone and be 468 00:28:41.480 --> 00:28:45.559 deeply in love and life can get in a way right as heartbreaking as that 469 00:28:45.720 --> 00:28:49.359 is, but I still believe if you have a solid base or foundation, 470 00:28:49.559 --> 00:28:53.359 which was the beauty of a trip like this is that you build a base 471 00:28:53.480 --> 00:28:56.960 or a foundation, or you don't. It fails and you one hundred percent 472 00:28:57.000 --> 00:29:00.440 know, or you build something doesn't mean it's a gay and tee, but 473 00:29:00.480 --> 00:29:03.319 it means you have a solid foundation to have something that could really, really 474 00:29:03.319 --> 00:29:07.039 really work. But it could fail, but it could work. You just 475 00:29:07.039 --> 00:29:08.720 got to talk about the hard stuff, which we did right away. So 476 00:29:08.759 --> 00:29:11.759 even with the trip, we said, well, what's next, when do 477 00:29:11.839 --> 00:29:14.519 I see you again? What do we do? How do we follow up? 478 00:29:14.559 --> 00:29:17.039 We even said, how do we post this on social media? Do 479 00:29:17.119 --> 00:29:19.079 we share this? Do I do a podcast with a great love debate? 480 00:29:19.359 --> 00:29:23.680 What do we do? There's all those questions that people like I'm sure the 481 00:29:23.720 --> 00:29:30.559 winner of the Bachelor have to deal with too. That now our regular life, 482 00:29:30.640 --> 00:29:34.079 Yeah, it's yeah, now what and we try to tell each other, 483 00:29:34.160 --> 00:29:37.640 well, what obstacles might we run into? It's you know, on 484 00:29:37.759 --> 00:29:40.240 my work, my job. This is where it came in handy. All 485 00:29:40.319 --> 00:29:44.759 my prioritizing other people the years before, this is where it came in handy. 486 00:29:44.799 --> 00:29:47.839 I've been able to learn from all the things that have come to me, 487 00:29:48.000 --> 00:29:51.640 the cases, the mistakes, the people who come to me with their 488 00:29:51.680 --> 00:29:53.640 problems, and I've been able to apply it. And I know I've been 489 00:29:53.640 --> 00:29:57.759 in a long distance relationship before too. I know how how far apart we 490 00:29:57.799 --> 00:30:00.880 need to be, how long we can go without seeing each other, how 491 00:30:00.920 --> 00:30:04.039 we need to readjust that we need a game plan. You can't just go 492 00:30:04.079 --> 00:30:07.880 with the flow, or the heart doesn't. The heart can't go on unless 493 00:30:07.920 --> 00:30:11.640 it has a game plan. These days, at this age, when you 494 00:30:11.720 --> 00:30:15.640 know that there's failure looming in the future. It's kind of like it's like 495 00:30:15.680 --> 00:30:18.039 a job if you get it. If you're on the job and you know 496 00:30:18.279 --> 00:30:21.599 that you're quitting in three months, guess what your performance will suffer in the 497 00:30:21.640 --> 00:30:25.519 office over the next three months. So you kind of have to know that 498 00:30:25.559 --> 00:30:27.519 there's hope, right So, yeah, we've had a ton of hearts that 499 00:30:27.640 --> 00:30:33.200 he's actually here right now. He's downstairs at a coffee shop because he didn't 500 00:30:33.200 --> 00:30:36.880 want he didn't want to be nervous hearing me speak to you, nor influence 501 00:30:36.920 --> 00:30:40.240 what I was going to say. But we are dedicated. You have to 502 00:30:40.279 --> 00:30:44.000 have two people that are truly dedicated. I would say that's the number one 503 00:30:44.039 --> 00:30:47.519 thing coming off of a crazy trip like this, is that you have to 504 00:30:47.559 --> 00:30:51.240 be dedicated to a different kind of rolling with the punches that you're still learning 505 00:30:51.240 --> 00:30:55.039 about each other because there is no substitute for time. I will say, 506 00:30:55.079 --> 00:30:57.160 three weeks, you can get in a lot of experience, but you still 507 00:30:57.400 --> 00:31:02.799 haven't known this person for five years, for ten years, so there is 508 00:31:02.799 --> 00:31:06.039 no substitute for that. Now we're rolling with the punches as we learn who 509 00:31:06.079 --> 00:31:10.480 we are in real life, and you have to keep that open communication as 510 00:31:10.480 --> 00:31:12.160 you said many times, at the end of the day, you still got 511 00:31:12.160 --> 00:31:15.559 to want to bone him. And I think you like the muscle, so 512 00:31:15.720 --> 00:31:19.920 you know, oh yes, thank god man. He had a crossbit competition 513 00:31:21.000 --> 00:31:23.799 this week. And I'll tell you what that just that that's good enough. 514 00:31:23.920 --> 00:31:26.839 That is that is very good for me. I know you. So you 515 00:31:27.039 --> 00:31:32.680 got out of your comfort zone and you took a chance, and you were 516 00:31:32.880 --> 00:31:37.920 old enough to understand what you do like, but also wise enough to understand 517 00:31:37.960 --> 00:31:41.960 this is what I might not like, yeah, and go for yes. 518 00:31:42.359 --> 00:31:47.440 Yes. And also I'm secure enough with myself that, say something didn't work 519 00:31:47.480 --> 00:31:49.680 out on this trip, I know how to conduct myself and have a great 520 00:31:49.720 --> 00:31:52.359 time, and we'd be friends and we'd be adults. Like I think, 521 00:31:52.400 --> 00:31:55.960 when you take this kind of a risk with somebody, you also have to 522 00:31:55.960 --> 00:32:00.200 be able to go with the flow. If it doesn't go yeah, just 523 00:32:00.359 --> 00:32:02.599 enjoy the trip, because the best part is worst case. I mean, 524 00:32:02.640 --> 00:32:06.640 there's probably a million worst cases, but one of the worst cases if we 525 00:32:06.640 --> 00:32:08.599 didn't work out, would I not have a trip of a lifetime anyway? 526 00:32:08.759 --> 00:32:12.400 I mean worst cases one of you doesn't come back. But I suppose you 527 00:32:12.480 --> 00:32:15.359 got exactly I was going there. Yeah, you know, all right, 528 00:32:15.519 --> 00:32:17.039 Hey, then I make a good twenty twenty specialty. There you go. 529 00:32:17.279 --> 00:32:21.759 That's the best case I suppose. Um. I'm very proud of you. 530 00:32:22.000 --> 00:32:24.079 I'm very proud of you manifesting this. I'm very proud of you getting out 531 00:32:24.079 --> 00:32:28.839 of your comfort zone. We've been talking about this stuff for years, great 532 00:32:28.839 --> 00:32:32.119 love listeners, You've heard me say this all the time. It's probably not 533 00:32:32.160 --> 00:32:36.079 going to be somebody at your local bar where you go all the time. 534 00:32:36.119 --> 00:32:38.680 It's going to be some way, someplace, somehow, someone that you did 535 00:32:38.759 --> 00:32:47.079 not think was even a possibility, And you gotta go for it, right 536 00:32:49.119 --> 00:32:52.000 amen. Tell everybody where can they can find you. This was the best. 537 00:32:53.200 --> 00:32:57.759 You can find me right now in New York City on the streets, 538 00:32:57.759 --> 00:33:02.200 walking around on this humid summer weather. But I am on my website is 539 00:33:02.240 --> 00:33:09.599 Aaron davisww dot com, Instagram, Aaron Underscore Wingwoman. And I still throw 540 00:33:09.720 --> 00:33:15.680 my monthly matchmaking Shabat Dinners for the Jewish community, and that's SHABATSNYSS dot com. 541 00:33:15.680 --> 00:33:19.680 And that's in New York City. But I'm traveling a lot too. 542 00:33:19.720 --> 00:33:22.599 It's a good remote world, so I have clients at all the big cities 543 00:33:22.680 --> 00:33:24.880 around the US, so I like to get up and out. All right, 544 00:33:24.920 --> 00:33:28.200 Well, hopefully I will see you on your travels. If not, 545 00:33:28.240 --> 00:33:31.640 I always tend to run into you in the big city. So hope brings 546 00:33:31.640 --> 00:33:35.440 a turn on the big city as far as us. Do you have a 547 00:33:35.440 --> 00:33:38.359 podcast yet? It's ridiculous you don't have a podcast yet? I know, 548 00:33:38.559 --> 00:33:43.640 so you need to help me do one. I'm bad with tech and I 549 00:33:43.839 --> 00:33:45.119 you know I don't look as good in headphones as you do. I need 550 00:33:45.200 --> 00:33:47.039 help tack it. So, yes, I need to do it. I've 551 00:33:47.039 --> 00:33:51.559 been a guest. How many have I've probably been on two hundred as a 552 00:33:51.559 --> 00:33:53.279 guest. Yeah, it's my time. It's my time. So I am 553 00:33:53.319 --> 00:33:58.319 starting one very simp For those of us who have one like share follow, 554 00:33:58.400 --> 00:34:01.640 please review this podcast you refuse your reviews mean a lot in the podcasting ecosystem. 555 00:34:02.079 --> 00:34:05.960 Shoot us an email Great Love Debate at gmail dot com. If you 556 00:34:05.960 --> 00:34:08.840 have any tails where you threw caution to the wind and just sort of went 557 00:34:08.960 --> 00:34:13.119 for it, go to Great Lovedebate dot com. I'm not sure which tickets 558 00:34:13.159 --> 00:34:15.800 are on sale for which shows on there, but take a peek at all 559 00:34:15.840 --> 00:34:21.880 of them, because as always at the Great Love Debate. We never stopped 560 00:34:21.920 --> 00:34:29.760 making love. See you next time. The Great Love Debate. It's the 561 00:34:29.880 --> 00:34:36.159 Great Love Debate. The Great Love Debate. It's the Great Love Debate.