Hey look man, cool beans, cool beans, awesome, powesome. Yeah,
Raffael Copter, Rafel Copper. I forgot about that? Was that?
What does that mean? Is that rolling off the floor laughing? I was
like, helicopter yeah, literally, so magically fucking stupid. Yeah. Yeah,
welcome Jesus Christ. Yeah, welcome to Welcome to the Internet. Pre
two thousand and nine. Oh my fucking god. There I was looking at
porn on Internet. That's that's only you have me at that time? Was
porn? Yeah, load again in the PSP, real slow, real slow.
When you got it though, it was it was when you finally got
it, it was worth it, dude. I think about that sometimes.
I think about like if I if I went back to my PSP and found
like what I had on there, like adult material wise, I bet it
would be so fucking I bet it wouldn't even get a It wouldn't even get
a remote response from me. Now, I'm I am so positive of that
understandable. I mean, in the day a sports illustrated magazine, I'd be
all right, it's a swimsuit edition. It'd be like the Sports Illustrated Yeah,
that sincerely, that makes that puts so many years between between you and
me in a way that doesn't really make sense if you count the actual year,
because we're not really that far back. But then at the same time
we are though, like as far as Uh, when I grew up a
dial up, it wasn't worth it. Yet it wasn't worth It wasn't worth
it, I guess, saying to pull up a picture when it was on
the PSP man, I would wait. I would wait for this this picture
to load and like maybe I would see, yeah, like a low resolution
pussy. Hey. That wasn't until it wasn't until DVD U, m P
three's and MP four's really started taking off. Uh. That's when I was
like, oh shit, because now I just I'm just loading just hundreds of
files onto one disc. You know, it'd take a long time to do.
But then I'm set now because there's so much I can cycle through.
I'll PLoP it in. My mom got me a DVD player for Christmas and
also gave me a Sam Raimi Spider Man. So this was like two thousand
whenever it came out, whenever the DVD came out, right, and I
used that DVD for I think for porn more than I did uh that I
did movies because I just made all this cool shit, you know. Yeah,
yeah, I really hope my mom never found that ship. One time,
she she cleaned my room because sometimes I would let it get too messy
and then you would get mad and clean it. And uh, the disc.
I left the porn disc in the DVD player. The thing is,
though, she didn't say anything to me, and the DVD was on top
of the DVD player, so she took it out. And maybe I'm just
thinking she was too much of a boomer to understand what she was looking at,
because it was she knew it. I think she was like maybe,
but she's the type of person that probably would have just taken it. She
would have liked she would have taken it, Like say, I bought this.
I bought this, uh this toy gun. It was a it was
a desert eagle and the problem with it was you put batteries in it and
it made a desert eagle noise. And I also sought off the orange tip.
So this was fucking dope. So instead of like talking to me about
it, she just fucking threw it away. She just threw it away,
and I'm like, this is my hard earned money. I spent ten fucking
dollars on that. I used to make ten dollars a week on a launce
when I was a kid. Her week's paid rent. That is so such
a bad idea. Of course, in such a bad idea, dude,
I was probably like seven ors, I don't think it's I don't I don't
think it's a bad idea. The kids that played with guns, I never
understood that. I just never wanted to be around them. And then in
the one time I thought it was a fake gun, I literally went into
my uncle's bedroom. So I went on, he was going to open this
close because he had like all the comics. That was my uncle Joey.
He was like the cool uncle, had all the comics. He played like
bald, he played like dn D's like that. Went in his room,
went found his real realass gun, went outside and showed my grandma, Grandma,
look, it's heavy than a toy once and she was just her face
just sank. She was like, why is there a gun in the fucking
house? She like pulled, like why is there a gun in the fucking
house? I let you stay here for a month, so get it back
on your feet. You gotta fucking gun. Serious. He's like, get
out, get out, you're moving out tonight, and you got it.
He didn't held it against me. He was like it was cool, wasn't
I was like super cool. I wish I wish I could be. I
wish I could be. I would be such a feazy ship time traveler.
Man. I wish I could go back to that moment, just to be
at that party and just to see little Kingston with a gun, just so
I could remark to a perfect stranger at that party and be like, man,
starting to early and then leave and then and then just leave and then
just blank out into a different timeline. That is crazy. That's all you
want your time travel for. Yeah, just that's crazy. You just like
homed in on some guys because because and then showed it to someone. I
showed it to my grandma. I didn't have the clip, the clip wasn't
inside of it. Obviously, way different you would be gone, Dude's how
that's how. I think. That's how most I'm pretty sure because little kids,
mostly little kids, they literally looked down the barrel. I've seen it
happen so many times. It's terrifying. Yeah, because I think it's like
a straw or sometime they're like where did this go? Yeah, I guess
if you don't understand what a gun like. Even as when I was young,
I was when I was old enough to understand what a gun is.
I know it's it just almost feels like naturally, don't put yourself in front
of it. Was like a knife. I've never I've never. Uh,
there was only one time I accidentally I almost like stabbed myself right because I
was opening something with a knife pointing towards me. And then that was the
lesson I ever when I was like, I was whatever, doing it the
wrong way and not out and that was enough for me to like kind of
I think I poked my shirt and then I learned forever. And I feel
like just seeing what guns can do on television was already enough for me to
be like, you, I don't want this thing pointed in my face.
Even if it was like I don't know average what an average gun does on
television is usually like it's funny when you think about it, because on TV
guns do way worse ship than they do in real life. Outside of like
shotguns and stand guns, handguns do way worse. Well, that's what I'm
saying. Most I'm talking about. I don't even think it stops at handguns.
I think it's most guns, with the exception of maybe shotguns, because
you're not going to see like, it's not gears of war, you know
what I mean. It's not like a fountain of fucking blood or like explosions
and you're in your fucking flesh or anything. Yeah, but it's like it's
so like to me, it's like the media that I would consume made them
seem so insanely dangerous that I was like, I'm not going anywhere near this
ship. I want nothing to do with it. The first time I went
shooting, the every time everyone like shooting ever in my life, I was
like handling a pistol, and I really realized the weight of a pistol.
And then I realized how not much the trigger weighs. People us like three
pounds or something like. It's not that's not three pounds. I don't My
fingers are not that strong. And I was yours, I mean, your
fingers was throwing three pounds. It was like, it cannot three pounds.
Three three pounds is not that that sounds about right, Like, have you
ever done those? What is it those? Stress? But no, no,
no, no, not the stressing the fingers, your fingers that you
pull it in. Well, yeah, it's like an exercise thing for your
for your knuckles, or not for your knuckles, but for your for your
hands. And you can actually like taken a jac rip. You can judge
the grip and like, three pounds sounds about about right for a for like
how hard it is to pull trigger. It's not pounds up even at sixteen
if you're like three pounds at all. Three pounds is not much for sixteen
either, I got to say, and I was like, this is fucking
nothing. And then I went I was just spraying into the range and I
was like this is insane. And then I felt like God, and then
I was like, oh I don't want to do this anymore. Yeah,
I do. Like I like shooting, man, I like it. Right,
it's supposed to be convenient and easy. Otherwise, like you put the
safety on so it doesn't do anything, then once it's off, it should
be very easy to use it. Otherwise what's the point, right, So
I mean, like, hey, stop shooting. And I was like,
who are you talking to? You don't know who I am right now,
and that's scared. I do find it. I find it kind of nice,
but also a little bit surprising that the aren't more, uh, because
you always hear about people saying they want to be suicided by cops or they
want to go out and do something crazy, and then how all of them
go to like a fucking school or something instead of just going to a range
where you'll get immediately Like it isn't like this at the point. I mean,
why don't you just go in front of a cop? That's the thing
to me, I don't understand, Like why not just go in front of
the police station, a train or some shit. It's it's like, don't
hurt anybody, don't get a lot of easier ways to go out. I
just feel like if you want people to get a cop going in front of
a police station. But also I feel like a gun range just because those
are where the those were the gun die. Just dive, just dive in
front of the If you move too fast, you'll probably just be shot by
everybody. Like if you just move too like say, if you're at the
range and you turn around too quick, probably everybody and everyone would just shoot
you. They want to do it. That's crazy to just grab a gun
and then just like turn around real quick and start screaming. They all shot
you. You start your you're like passing at Kidney Stone. Oh my god,
it and probably and they're like, move too quick. Sorry, I
didn't mean. I didn't mean to shoot you ten times. Anyway, let's
move on to some Let's let's get some Let's get some questions over here.
Let's let's get let's let's move on to the audience questions. There's not much
going on. I assume I don't know who the fuck knows. There might
be something maybe that maybe they'll find Mama j F and then we'll and then
it'll all be bunk. But we got we got a bunch of questions here
from our lovely audience. Over at patreon dot com slash sar tank. Remember,
you can go over there and plays a little of the dollar and you
get ad free access or early access all that ship man, So going over
there, or you cannot, and you can suffer in whatever puerisle existence you're
currently fucking rolling around in. I saw a rangutang at a zoo that probably
had more fucking I'm sorry, I'm getting I have to breathe a little bit.
Sorry, all right, let's move in. I just you got really
angry at the audience. I understand that it's not fair, but what is
wrong with you? Do? Let me? Let me it's his army hat.
It's it's starting to seep into your brain. It's like the haunted mask
from freaking what you call it from for our remake, where it makes you
racist immediately you put it all right? Right? Right? So now,
yeah, that's right, that's right. It's another good Patreon exclusive. Yeah,
shout out to the extra Ammo videos that we do are not to watch
them. Yeah, fu your family, fun, your patcheck, fuck you,
come on over to Patreon. Animals yogurt you fucking it's not animal moron
like you fucking damnimal drinking bathroom. I think animals would have such a paltry,
depressing green on their fucking can't even tell that's green. Oh yeah,
that's right, I forgot your color blind. Yeah he's invalid. Yeah did
we ever discuss that before? I don't think so. Actually, on the
podcast, we've made fun of we have all made fun of him in person
a lot for this. So it's like, hah, you're fucking stupid and
you don't know how you can't see half the fucking beauty of the world.
But you know whatever, do you know I made a guy discover that he
is not color blind, but he sees colors incorrectly. I made a guy
color blind, Like that's very cool. Yeah. I was looking for a
several eleven distribution to the center right, and we was deal with the coffees
first, and the coffees were labeled with different colors, and we always started
with the green ones, the decaf coffees first, And so I told the
guy, because I was just a position above him, hey, grab the
green ones. And he's like, what do you mean? And I'm like,
grab the green coffees like me. And then he was like, do
you mean the blue ones? And I was like, no, there's we
don't have fucking blue ones. What are you talking about? Like go?
And then he was so confused, and I don't know how he went through
his entire like he was probably eighteen nineteen, how he never figured this out,
Like nobody didn't, No one corrected him. What did he think?
The girl? You mean you're telling me? He went to Spider man and
saw the green Goblin covered blue, and it was like, this is fine.
I'm not gonna ask any questions about this. Why he crazy trying to
call them? That's stupid? Was he not the blue goblets? He just
silently thought to himself, Man, I'm so much smarter than he's. Fucking
Hollywood, there these directors. He fucking named this guy the green Goblin.
He's obviously blue. What a fucking DUTs And it does not make sense at
all, Like if you think about it, that scenario that happened, it
made no sense to me. I was like, there's no way. I
asked him, are you fucking with me? Because I thought he was,
but he was serious. I don't know, man, that's crazy. You
make it in life that way. You know, what's a You know,
it's an interesting statistic that I read recently. Yeah, ninety of all colorblind
people are psychopaths. That that sounds plausible. Actually color blinds are like partially
color blind, partially even I think, yeah, let's say that, yeah,
yeah, that makes at let's say that. That makes a lots.
It's real anyway, And before before we move, I just I just want
to say something Kingston real quick. I just saw something for the first time.
It's just Balder's Gate three related where they use the Albart as a meteor
like a meteorite jump in on people. Yeah, I never saw that,
and now I'm going to boot up the game again just to do that.
Did you did you got the Albert right? Little copy? He grew up
on your But like the thing is, I never knew you could just weaponize
the Albar as a fucking media or like just get high and then have it
do four figures of damage. Crazy that I just fully beat the game.
Finally, I finally, for the first time beat the game. I think,
oh, night before Last, that's that's how many hours are you put
in the game? Oh, like eighty five? I did everything. I
did everything I could have done that play through, though, like I couldn't
do anything else. Right, did you save theme? Did you save the
nomes? Did you blow them up? I saved him, I saved them,
I saved everybody. Yeah, yeah, I saved them. I was
second play through I complete, and I mean my my chaotic playthrough, I
complete, skipp them. I didn't even give a shit about him. I
just went on. I went the fastest way and just went on a path
of killing as many people as I can. It was very difficult and to
the point where, uh, if I want to truly do that and kill
everyone, I think I have to just mod it because it's too hard to
be by yourself and really try to kill everybody. It's so hard, so
fucking hard. But please continue, you, Chris. I just that's good
killing people video games. It's I mean, this is kind of speak,
you know, speaking of that. I just downloaded Prototype. Let's go,
because we're just talking about this, right because it's been it's been a meme.
I've been joking about it with I've been I've been busting Collins balls on
Sacred Symbols, and I keep saying, like, you know, the Horizon's
good, and you know, all this stuff is Infamous is fine, but
it's got nothing on Prototype. I think he's so upset game, but I
think Prototype is very fun. Type is so fun. Different kinds of games.
Phototype is very different. Also compete with each other, which I thought
it was kind of bizarre. It was weird. It was like in the
Last of Us it was like this weird like comparison that was like, I
don't know why they're comparing I guess because they're open world, third person superhero
kind of games, but like they're so different. But Prototype was like the
ultimate. I love that game. I jump out of a window and just
falling down and blowing up. I remember a move, I remember moving that
game where I don't. I can't remember if I'm making this up or not.
But like I swear to god, you can grab a person, run
and jump and put them under you like a skateboard and sand them into pace.
I don't until they're gone, I don't, I swear to god.
I feel like this is absolutely fucking real unless this has like been barren,
seen bared or like, So let me ask Kingston might be I'm gonna ask
Kingston last because I feel like he might already know this answer because he's intrinsically
kind of not intrinsically, but he's just more into this scene than probably either
of us. But do you remember the pokemon onyx? Yes? How do
you spell onyx? Well? I know how to spell the element onyx the
right. How do you spell the pokemon's name Pokemon? Oh my god?
Yeah, so it's not just on your base instinct. Well, like from
what you remember first, go don't even think about it too much. Just
just say what you what you feel like it was spelled like, oh,
I know this why I just caught one. You thought it was O N
y X, Right, it's i X, dude, it's i X.
I swear to God. For the longest time, I really, I just
caught one. That's why I know. Though. That's the reason why I
know. I just just just caught one exactly. That's why I didn't ask
you first, because I knew. I figured I figured you would know or
have at least interacted with Pokemon in a way that would put you in tune
with this information. It's weird than me, but like, but dude,
I swear to God, I remember my whole life, like just remembering it
spelled with y X. I assume it would be because like, why would
it not be sipid you But it's but that's how Pokemon is. It's like
they take like real like some things are just real, other things names and
like letter difference, right. Yeah. It just it just bothers me because
I was, just like, dude, I could I would have lost if
I was not like who wants to be a millionaire? I would have lost
like a million all my money on that bed. Yeah, you know what
I mean, crazy, I would have been dancing. I would have whipped
my peep out and spun it around. So I was so convinced that it
was HYX. I went and looked for it because I saw somebody being like,
how do you remember spelling it? I was like, no, no,
no, no, no, this can't be real. I looked it
up and sure enough, yeah, it's O n i X ye. Crazy.
You you've pren't seen that question though obviously I was like, okay,
well then it's not y X then, but I was just like yes,
yeah, yeah, But I was still like, I definitely thought it was
before you said that. Yeah, you'd assume you would assume yeah, like
yeah, it's it's on. I mean, like name is not so I
would to see for some reason, even though it supposed to be cobra backwards
and it's like K you know what. I think That's why I thought every
time I every every I sometimes funk up when I'm spelling cobra kai. For
some reason, I want to spell cobra with the K, and I think
it is because of that. I think it's because of our box. I
was like, I was like, it's just it's it's it's not really c
Yeah, so it's not cobra backwards it's k bra obra or is it like
yeah, silent k like in English? For whatever reason? Is obra?
Is that? What is that? Man? What do we have? I
don't know. I'm not gonna get into it. I'm not we don't we're
not We're Americans. You wouldn't know. That's one of the fucking liney baskets
over back over that. Yeah, that is so true, Like knife,
What the fuck is that? What is that? What is that? What
can we say that? Can he? I would rather say that. I
would way rather say that than just happens. They call big knives javelins over
there like a big actual people. We we talked about that. But at
the same time, like if someone like realistically speaking Kingston, if I if
I gave you a shopping list and I wrote, yo, get me a
knife and I wrote n I f E, you would immediately think so little
of me. It's insane. Oh yeah, because that's how it is.
But it's still stupid the way it is. Yeah, let me get a
let me get a niffy, all right, uh so let me see,
let me see which one do we want to start out with? Big Uncle
Fungus wrote in Damn Fungie Fungi, Fungi, Fungi fungi, Fungky funky Relax,
he says, He says, hello, the most inclusive podcast parentheses.
Assuming you don't own a vagina, Yeah, that's true. I'm trying work,
work, working on it. Yeah, we like girls here, Yeah,
but we don't. We don't have female we don't have female representation on
this inverting my penis. We get a female guest, So we get a
female guest that we haven't Yeah, yeah, it's true. It's been a
it's been a minute. Yeah, we've only had a jew. Yeah.
I think that's it. But that barely counts. You know. She's not
like, she's not like, uh, we gotta get one of those.
Barely she's like one of the boys. Oh yeah, literally did do the
damn that was fucking seventies some episodes ago. Holy shit, it's crazy.
Uh, we got to get some more. I know another girl we can
get on the podcast, another good one. Yeah, I want what I
want? A girl. No, let's get someone who's just like who we
normally wouldn't talk to right after Jacksonville Jackie that's actually perfect would actually be a
perfect guess. Yeah, Anyway, he wrote it, and he says everyone
is everyone Yeah just shoot sugar shot, Yeah, he says he so he
wrote it, and he says everyone is well aware of the power of gay
covers. However, do you think you would ever diversify perhaps cripple covers or
corp stuff covers of smash Mouth keep it classy, man. I don't know.
I don't think uh covers. I'm secretly gay, Yeah, yeah,
I am crippled technically, like emotionally, I think, but I don't know
if I can I don't know if I can justify make it like I don't
know what it's not. It's it's difficult. There's not a community of that
though. Yeah they're not. There's no crippled Pride parade, you know exactly,
although I would love to see it, woulds don't flow as was the
gay ones do. I don't even know if crippled bars they're good and gay
and they go good gay go yes what people like some people? And I
don't know if we talked about this before, but it's been said, like
you asked, like, well, why is this so funny because there's some
people who think it's disrespectful, but I think it's just simply because some of
the stuff that we we talk about in those gay covers or whatever, there
are communities of this that actually exists. These people like that and like so
we talk about weho for example, West Hollywood, there are communities, and
there are parties within those communities where they get down like those songs, And
it's so wild to think about when you think about like how supremely gay some
people are, like how they really cream Like well, the thing about it
too is it's just like it's funny because there's because dude, let's be real,
like there's a lot of music that is just like it's it is just
as fucking like it is. It is just it is just as unabashedly Like
I was gonna say, I was gonna say music, dude, I was
gonna say opposite. I was gonna say, like, dude, there's so
much music that's just like just heterosexual like that, you know what I mean,
Like man, bounce on my pussy like you know what I mean,
Like, yeah, fucking bounce on my pussy. Like it's just all this
all this stuff, and I listened to it sometimes I'm like, damn,
that's crazy. This is a song. And so we were just like,
man, it would be funny if just just the fun with me, just
the reversal of it, you know what I mean, It's it's funny to
me. Yeah, absolutely, it's it's like I don't know, man,
like the flamboyance in the gay community and all that stuff, all that wow
stuff and the like you see we see it demonstrated Pride a lot. It's
so fun and essentially it just to me, it's like an Masha that ship.
Like, if we're being real, it's just like it's like akin to
that. It's like picture those people that are living their best lives and then
you know, and then it's a song. Now now Metallica is you know,
embracing it. It's picture of Metallica at Pride month. That's basically what
we're doing, you know, right exactly. Even just thinking about like I'm
actually like racking my brain trying to find crippled bars and I can't really I
can't think of it. It's hard, man. I mean, like Donovan
would have done it. Donovan would have been yeah, yeah, are we
sure he's you know, can you imagine that would be that would be so
like, it would be so hymn. But at the same time, it's
like, what the fuck, dude, Like I just feel like, I
don't know, man, I feel like, no, no, no.
I mean, realistically speaking, I'll put it this way. The distance between
like Michael Jordan and a dead person is very vast, you know what I
mean. But like Donovan was pretty close like most of the time. So
I wonder if there's so I just know, I'm just saying, like,
I wonder if there's like a way to just maybe like coax him back a
little, because it's not that far you know, like it's not it's not
that farrible. Just just come on, all right, you did it,
you died or let's come on. Do you think like a couple of just
maybe these just like I think if you just hooked up a stud finder to
him, if you just if you just put a stutfinder on him and just
poured water onto I think it'd be enough. Jolts something with a little knife.
He's like, oh yeah, exactly, bring him back. Stop stabbing
me boy, all right, Donovan, step in my chest with these weird
rocks just okay. Indie Butterknife on YouTube wrote, in last question dram for
me in a bit or drop, I think he meant to say or drum
What the fuck is a dram? D R O M whatever. I don't
know. I'm trying. I'm starting to like. The issue with typos now
is like I'm not sure if it's slang or not. Yeah, because is
not that close to P. So yeah, it's not close enough to P
to be a mistake. Anyway, I was looking down at my keyboard to
make sure last last question dropped from me in a bit insurance be sucking me
dry and not in the fun way. No, no problem, bro come
back when you're ready or actually no, wait, no that we have a
new policy where if you leave, we take away. We take the podcast
away from you on free feeds. So sorry, you can either get your
legs broke or the podcast take home. Yeah, either either you pay for
your insurance or you pay for the show. You can't have both. Sorry,
your choice, mickey. Yeah, I'm not even gonna read your question.
Let's move on. He says, what's one societal trap you'd want to
get rid of? Minus cars? Expand public transportation and make cities walk away.
I really I can't stand how necessary cars are in so many parts of
the world that it really infuriates me. I don't mind having a car.
I like having a car, like having the freedom to drive, like a
really long distance that's cool, but like needing it to get like groceries and
ship or like just to go get food or do like any just normal fucking
Oh, I gotta drive to the bank. That shit sucks. Sucks penis
For me, it's uh, condoms kind of don't need them. They're dude,
it's a big load of hollabaaloo. Just drink a bunch of mountain dew.
You'll be fine. Put yourself in a boss with thirty minutes straight if
they if that kid makes it, it special, and it will also be
different for surely you deserve. You deserve to make it at that point,
you know what I mean, Like he's fought for that. That was the
one, the once persa and all semen, Oh my god, the one
that got away. Yeah, Derek, Yeah, you have any anything you
do want to I don't think there's anything more his his answer, I don't
think there's anything more important than that. It's a pretty pre answer, like
it's a good it's it's what can I say, no, not you,
what I feel? What to say? What can they say? They're made,
We'll get out of them one day. I swear condoms aren't that.
I mean, I don't like if you I condoms were like really, I
don't know. I feel like outside of a relationship, condoms are very fucking
important, right. The only protection I use is these two fists right here,
thunder and light thunder lighting or you can you can get fucking you can
get on a t r T and then your sperm production. And by the
way that the thunder lightning, Like to me, yeah, this is thunder,
this is thunder, and this is Matthew. We're gonna beat you.
And I remember that was so weird. Did people ever actually do that?
I want to know from, like I want to know from like I guess
probably like elder millennials, younger gen X. That sounds like something like that
they would have probably experienced. Like if you ever got threatened by somebody who
named their fists, I want to hear from you so that we can kick
you off the fucking Patreon because we don't need you people. I really feel
like, that's okay, boomer Ship, you think so, yeah, like
they were, because it sounds so quirky. Ship was corny back in the
day. Yeah, he'd be like, man, I got I got to
meet over by the soda fountain and and that's it. I stand by the
soda fountain, hit the jukebox of my elbow and fucking up breaks. I
want to see like a realistic he was on Happy Days right that. I
want to see like a realistic interpretation of that sitcom where that guy just went
in hit the jukebox, broke it, was then sued for the damages and
now lives in a destitute fucking so. For some reason, I can remember
that being real. But I don't know if it is that it's our imagination,
but I remember like a Fonzi that's like an old reversion of himself walking
in and like hitting a jukebox and fuck it up with some girl being like,
get the funk out of here. Man, you're just like a fucking
psycho. I don't know if I'm driving happy Day, So I'm gonna go
ahead and take a while and assume that that's probably not. That's probably sounds
like a family got cut away or something it might have been. Do you
guys remember when they when? When when family not in a family? Guy?
When? When when Fonsie? Guy? When? No? When when
Happy Days got like really weird because everybody uses the term jumping the shark jumping
the show. Yeah, like do you do you know what actually happened?
So he yeah, didn't, didn't PANSI literally jump a shot, so he
put he put wheels on a shark. He he made a motorcycle out of
a shark. I couldn't came it together. I couldn't keep it together.
Literally that one episode is a normal episode of Happy Days, and then the
next episode, Phonsie is drilling wheels into a shark. Where did that shot
take place? Even? I think it's the fifties, So in Milwaukee.
He got a shark to Milwaukee in the fifties, Dude, I think they
they actually were on vacation. I think Ritchie went to he ran away to
California or something. Yeah, and PHANSI went to It was either one one
or the other. Somebody ran away to California and then the people went to
go get him or something, if I remember correctly, because I did used
to watch that show. But it's all running together. That's why I think.
I literally think there were some wheels on some shark. Either that or
they baited a shark out of the water and they literally jumped it, and
they as they them out, they learned about the comic shark the shark.
What the fuck is that is that? The yo? Look over there,
it's the cast of Grease beating up a great white on land, just stomping
it out. It's so big, it's so big, but it's still just
getting worked. He's a great white, fairly large. I couldn't say how
big they are, but they're obviously, like, you know, they're great
next whatever thereat. Yeah, they're great. That's that's the that's the size
that they are. Yeah, I don't know. I feel like it's like
a it's like, how long is a moment? You know? M that's
a good question. Actually, one thing is okay, how much is a
few? A few moments? A few? A few? I would I
always attribute a few to three, thank you, thank you, all right?
Just I just wanted that to be established three at least. It doesn't
go beyond five though, Oh my god. That's that I would agree is
literally that is the definition you see. That is because that is the reasonable
definition. Anybody has a different definition. It's crazy to me the people like
I remember, like I remember having that exact argument with somebody where like somebody
was like arguments like a few is like you know, uh, over ten
but not fifty. And I'm like, what are you fucking talking in what
context? What are you talking about? Like what is this? Like what
what could you possibly need fifty of any like outside of like rice, right,
you know, like I can't like like, oh I need fifty rices?
Like oh fuck, I don't know. So imagine you've hardly eaten your
rices? What's wrong your rices? My god, I'm autistically counting the grains?
Crazy? Is what is one rice? A rouse or a rye?
Is it a rye? Like and dye? I was thinking mice? Oh
I didn't get that right away. Yeah, let's let's say it's a rouse
because I don't like that. I'm hungry, but only for for three rouses.
A few rouses a three rice. That's so stupid pants that should made
me almost man, I'm about to I'm about to ship. I'm about to
take my pants and ship. If we keep, if we if we keep,
if we keep imagining this crying, shaking, screaming, pissing and shitting.
I hate that. Guy. Let's see what is this? What is
this? What is this? What is this? Wound? Road? In?
He says, what's up? A regular team of TISM's theism team?
Nice? What's a hot take that you will never back down from, no
matter how much shit you get for it? For example, I absolutely love
Star Wars The Phantom Menace. It's my favorite film in the series. And
I don't get the hate for jar Jar binks. That's wild. That's a
wild He doesn't get it? Is the thing that that that's crazy, that's
impossible. That's like you can't not get it. I get it, you
know. I don't care at all, but I get it. Yeah,
oh this, I'm sorry. I I shouldn't have looked at my Twitter.
Whateverened was that I'm curious at nothing. Really. I remember on the last
episode I talked about like this boomer that's just following porn stars and all this
ship, and I followed him so I can keep tabs on him, but
he followed me back. So I'm so curious. One, I gotta ask
you, like, bro, I love it, boy, there's there's ass
Man, there's there's bootmen, where Christian a little bit for men. Yeah,
you kind of sound like Robot say again, that's too late. It'll
be you sound good now, Oh yeah, it'll be for It'll be for
the it'll be for the audience. Damn. But it wasn't. It wasn't
anything. But like I remember specifically being like, dude, people are just
out of pocket on Twitter with that ship because like I was, I can't
remember what the hell was going to. I had an interaction with Kiwi or
something. I don't remember what it was. It was like she posted something
and then she was or like I posted something, she responded, and then
I responded, and then somebody under her response was like I wonder what your
undercarriage tastes like, which is such a fucking crazy That is the craziest.
Like, and I'm tagged in this conversation like it's a response to a conversation
that we're having. I'm like, I just responded, Jesus Christ said,
dude with a Jack the Ripper fucking codon in a top hat, undercuttage.
His name is, his description is just want to fuck. But so you
found this dude, I was an undercarriage. Sorry it was under basically say
I'll I'll copy the link, I'll post in the chat here he said.
He said, I'm curious about your nether region like candy and perfectly beautiful.
Oh my, what is like this? Oh my? How? Oh so
this is? This is this, This is a real person, this is
you picks on his page and and you know how it shows you if you're
on your desktop, it shows you their their media, their pictures, Like
in the corner he's just posting pictures of his dick and stuff. But this
is exactly what I'm talking about. These are the type of people that I
was like, I was looking at these people and just laughing at these boomers
and like you literally this is a perfect example of these boomers. We spoke
about getting a girl. We gotta get on. We should get would I
bet you, I bet you would have something to can undercarriage Although both of
those are pretty I think undercarriage is funny. I think I made it funnyer
in But but just like nether Region, can't I can't do this anymore,
maniate, I quit, I quit right now. Can't I can't do this?
How how dare you how dare you ask me that somewhere that public for
to be like it actually tastes exactly like this here, I'll send you a
simple wait, hey, Chris, Yeah, did you see his other response?
Do you no? Because like you said Jesus Christ and then he responds
with he doesn't no. I don't know, man, it's not meaning I
don't know what that means. Well, meaning that like all, I feel
like we cracked the code because the other guy that I was referring to,
he is a God fearing man because he wears the Jesus peace and everything.
But I feel like they think this activity is hidden from God because this guy
is all open and doing his crazy ship. Now you have this Josh guy
and you said Jesus Christ and he's saying he doesn't know like he did somehow
you can't see all this ship so you just have coverage right here, you
can't I can't see anything. He's like, yeah, this guy is literally
textbook like he retweets retweet if you would like to squeeze my tits like like
you know what I mean? Like with all this ship, I hate,
I really hate seeing that ship because like yes, obviously of course, but
so like, leave me alone, go away. I'm gonna I've been holding
pissed the whole time, and I've been gittering like a head question. Just
see your pants? Yeah boy, you're right. What if he sat there
and close his eyes real real, real tight, and then the room behind
him started filling around, And before you piss before you pissed. I just
want to leave you with this a tweet from this same gentleman. He says,
I'm leaving Twitter. This is it May third, I'm leaving Twitter.
I never see anything from Kiwi anymore? Why bother if I can't see anything
from my heart? Man? All right, I got marinate on that man
on how he's heartbroken. But now he now hes is gonna have a hard
time peem because hes gonna be all stiff. I'm so because this is literally
literally I told Jojo yesterday that I told Jojo yesterday that, oh I should
like bookmark these people and then talk about it on the podcast. Well,
like it's I don't need to do anything. It's already it's it's it's yeah,
it's just it just naturally occurs. I don't want to here. We
already told you begone. That's fucking just Lily walks in. It's all over
the wall. Oh my god. The question the question was, oh yeah.
The question was about like a hot take that we that we will we
will never back down from, no matter how much should we get for it
all. No, I feel like I don't know if I have anything like
that, Like, I don't know if I have a hot take that I
refuse to back down from. Hmm, that I consider a hot take anyway,
Yeah, it's hmmm. I feel like somebody else has to tell you
that. Yeah, like somebody, yeah, exactly that I don't know.
Well, I guess you know what I would say this. I would say,
I think and I would argue with anybody that given let's just say,
given the legendary edition of Mass Effect, I would say that Mass Effect three
is a better game than Mass Effect two. And I think a lot of
people would challenge me on that. I think that's fine, But I don't
think I would ever because Mass Effect two was always my favorite. But then
I realized over I play, I played mass e Fact three way more and
discounting the multiplayer obviously, but like I played it, I enjoyed the story
much more like with everything involved in it it's it's just a much more satisfactory
game. It's way bigger. Obviously, it's more beautiful. The combat is
fucking just much. It's it's the best combat out of all of the games.
Even though yeah, I think so, I love too. But the
thing is, when I think about two the game, the stories kind of
sucks when you think about it. The why the game is so awesome is
just your crew. There's including the DLC, there's like eleven or twelve people
that you get to interact with and do their loyalty missions, and that's what
the game's really about. Yeah, and that's what makes the game so fucking
fun. But other than the suicide mission is cool, right, that's that's
really cool. But I'm just saying, like, as a plot, like,
oh, here's these fucking trash, fucking collector alien dudes. They fuck
you up, you need to hunt them down. Super bored, Like it
was super basic, nothing really moves, Like the first game has a good
story, second game nothing really happens, but it's just the journey of assembling
your crew is awesome. And the third game is just kind of everything being
fleshed out and with all the DLCs being added, like oh, I know
what, I know who the main antagonists are, their origins, fucking blah
blah blah blah blah. I just think overall, like I still say,
with all with that all that shit being said, I still feel like a
lot of people would still maybe say I'm crazy, and I'm glad it's fine,
But that's one thing I just I just think that it's I think that's
you know, I wouldn't mind Kingson ran into this room giggling a fucking maniac.
So while I was thinking about the bloody piss, I remember the memory
of when I was in high school, some kid peeing in the urine,
another kid coming up behind him and stomping, kicking him in the back,
so he fell in front ways and he got all over his underwear and his
in his dirt. And I wasn't in the bathroom giggling about that because of
how the moment that was so fucking evil. Man, I was like with
a big ass him to like he was so spraying, I bet I mean
might as well, just like I feel like it would be funny. It's
just just just pissing off to that moment that that would be took my space
at the journal man I had had to be on just start pissing. I
think there's other urals, yeah, but I like this one. I want
to see one time where people do actually think when they cut her up in
one year, when everybody's patting it in one year. I want to see
that one time to be like, oh, okay, that's really strange,
that's really weird. Yeah, you guys everyone's holding another dick. Was exactly
that. That's why I probably have to walk out before it got, you
know, escalated further. I'm like, all right, all right, getting
strange? Whoa you guys are? You guys are like resting each other's heads
on their shoulders and stuff. They closed the door and they're like, where
are you going? You? Where do you think? It's crazy? Every
every every school bathroom has that really fucking tiny ass one window up the wall.
How the fuck do I get through that? Even old? And I
was like, yeah, I can't, Chris, you can't get through those?
Yeah I can. I definitely couldn't. There was no point in my
there's no point in my sentient life where I could have gotten through those.
So you're just like, how am I going to get up there? And
then through that, and it's like be four, be a four year old,
be a petite four year old. You can get out of the petit,
petite, emaciated gollum like four year old, you could Maybee. Maybe
you would stand a chance. I'll tell your name. What's his name?
Jelum gotta be born. Like, I'm so upset I lost that drawing,
man, Like, I don't know where that drawing is. It'll turn up,
man, it'll turn up. I think I probably get I probably drew
it in somebody else's sketchbook, and I'll probably like, if I ask around,
I'll probably find Yeah, I gotta do the round. There's somebody I
draw on somebody people because somebody. So many of our friends are artists,
so they just like come around. They will, they'll draw, and we'll
draw like bullshit in other people's sketchbooks and it's fun but like and then I'll
think about like, but then I'll draw really good ship and then I'll never
see it again. You don't know what I want to sketchbook like, uh,
it would be kind of ripping it from that super Bad movie. But
just it's just nothing but just beautifully John Dix, you know like it like
just perfect. Yeah, Like so you have everybody, you just make sure
every It's almost like at your book signature in that way where you just have
everybody draw penises in that one specific sketch book. I thought it'd be pretty
cool. Dingh. Then of course you you pass away and people find it,
and you know they're digging through your close and they find it, they
think you're incredibly gay, like your wife or something. She never knew about
it, and she digs it up and she's like, oh, there's like
a lot of beautifully drawn penises in this in this notebook. I like the
idea of you having a book full of various kinds of breast. Yeah,
that's perfect. I would buy that. Yeah, I feel like that's probably
pretty common. It's like my buddy Wesley, he was a pretty good artist.
He was drawn pretty good or pretty well in sixth grade, and she
would draw like naked, who are they called the officer? Jenny or Joy?
Am I I have? Do you have that right? Yeah? Whatever?
Like I think that's I think you're right, yeah, Joy, Okay,
okay. So he would draw them draw what's your name? From Team
Rocket? Like you just draw them all, like all naked. I don't
know my brain right now, but yeah, just he and he was good
at it. He was good and to the point where it it as as
a sixth grader, it did something for you, and you're very appreciative of
that. Ship man. You're like, hell, yeah, he did not
draw any food. I don't think that's kind of crazy if you think about
it, because that means like like before the internet, really like it's like
schools would have communities where like there would just be one artist because I remember
that over one overworking, you know, for real, like I remember that.
I was like it was me because I remember like back when I was
I used to It kind of frustrates me that I stopped drawing because I used
to be like genuinely really good. Then I just stopped and I just I
don't know, I didn't study it really, but it me and this other
kid, and we would we would do like commissions for people. People would
ask us to draw shit, and I would make like a dollar from like
like per thing that I would draw. And I remember that specifically because I
was like, this is fucking weird that this is happening. But there's no
way that's happening. Now in schools anyway, like probably that's like a very
antiquated thing. It's like, what the fuck? I could just ask an
a I to do this now. But the flush light, the flush slighting
passion on the high school? No, is it an urban legend? I
don't think. I think was real. I heard the story about it.
It can be wrong now, But if you could get at that age,
if you were sure it wasn't used by more than three people before you,
what do you taking ahead of it? I know I would have bleached it
first. I would I would have cleaned it out really well, and then
I would have took ahead of it whenever went back. Nothing. I can't.
I can't share work. I can't do it. I can't do it.
There's no way. Even if it bleat no cleaning, it was cleaning,
it would be so I bought. Uh No, I didn't buy.
That's the wrong word. I messaged Flashlight in twenty eighteen. Oh, that's
right, because they were doing all those collabs. People they were doing stuff,
and I said, hey, can you sponsor my channel? And they
said no, but we can send you stuff, and so they sent me
three products. I I don't remember. I don't remember what I did with
one of them. I raffled off or it was a comp. It was
a contest. Somebody had to do the best their best Joker impression from from
whatever because that the the Joker movie just came out. But I wanted them
to do I did this. I did this sketch of it was It was
probably one of the stupidest things I've ever done, but it had fun with
it. Where I found I didn't have any type of paint, and so
I took lotion and I put all over my face. There was some fucking
pink spray paint that fucking burned, and I spray sprayed it on my lips
around I basically I made I had these green gym shorts to use the hair
right, and it was just makeshift. So that is so fucking funny.
It was just so absolutely stupid, but it was like fucking fun fettie.
It was so stupid. But I just did like a real quick thing and
I was doing some improv of like Joker stuff, and so I said,
at the end of the video, if you do this, whoever does the
best one, I'll mail it to them. I kept one of them.
I don't remember what I did with the third one because they they got they
gave me three things, but I tried one to see, like, oh,
what's the all the deal about? But this wasn't the one that I
kept. Was not a flesh light. It was just the brand, and
so it was a pocket pussy. And I gotta tell you, I was
like, this is just saying it's really underwhelming. It's I feel like it
probably would have been destroyed or something. If you gotta warm it up first,
put it in it. It's on it. You gotta you gotta have
it. I've got a way you would warm it is if I remember correctly,
you like put in hot water or something, but like I didn't.
I didn't do that, and it's just hot and be hot. Yeah,
you fucking monster, you remember, you mayiac. You remember that ship doing
it in for like thirty fucking seconds, thirty five seconds. You put a
fucking pastry in the fucking vicro fuck it, Like like that is so insane,
like throwing it in for fucking ten seconds, it's already piping hot.
Yeah, man, crazy, that whole that whole thing is just like I
love the idea of people being that crazy. Like I don't think people being
that horny and crazy and no one's around them, like, yo, nigga,
some people did like they chill, dude, Like, you don't got
to do all that to yourself. Man, You remember when it girls like
the girls like brooms to masturbate and then they fall off their bed and the
broom breaks inside the Yeah, that's that happened to a girl that went to
I went to your high school, Chris. I think I heard about that.
I knew her, and I made fun of her about it every time
I saw her afterwards. That's crazy. What's her? What's her? Fuck?
Did that fucking uh uh leak out? Like? How do you let
that leak out? She told people to go to the hospital. She was
to school for a little bit, she told her friends, and obviously obvious
because you're young and you're stupid, you know, I don't that's not that
embarrassing. Really, Yes, it iss with the broom, Yeah, because
like you expect what it's not. It's girls to like, oh a cucumber,
some stupid bullshit, you know what I mean? Like, oh,
you fucking idiot, cucumber. Why don't you get stuck in there? That
happens these dumb fucking girls use stupid objects, but not like, let me
get this broom that can I can't barely even it. It sounds so stupid,
Like what you doesn't it sound like it would do anything? Like I
don't know because it's long and it's crazy. The young the young person's my
friend made a flush light. He made one. It was like a vasoline
bottle, a sock and like a rubber band or something like that. And
I was like, bro, that's he's the he's the right brothers. It's
like, we're gonna fly into the sky with with toilet paper tubes, zip
ties and rubber gloves. We're gonna do it. We're going to reach the
next frontier berry. Can you imagine? They Actually I had a dream one
So I had a dream once. I just thought, this is amazing that
I'm remembering this because I thought this is one of those examples where like I
have never I rarely have dreams like go away and then come back to me,
But this just happened. I immediately imbued with this. I had a
dream that for some reason I was one of the right brothers, and like
I was putting together the plane and we flew the first successful plane and we
did just like, yes, we finally did it, but it wouldn't land.
And then it kept going up and we were like going into space and
we started freezing to death. And then I woke up. You know what
you experienced distressing, You experienced an alternate timeline. That's that's what they don't
want us to know about. They actually succeed They succeeded too hard at flying
a milk car and some toothpicks and a what you almost went to heaven and
they put a Lisa a Lisa Frank Binder, a hair brush, silly putty
and uh put marks glasses and they managed to make it into space. Like
what the fuck? You really funny if we somehow we go to space in
the future. And he realized his oxygen space the whole time, that has
been oxygen up there. The whole time, it has been oxygen up there.
You just had to really, you just have to breathe it in a
specific way. Yeah. See, you were breathing through your mouth. If
you just inhale through your nose, you'd be fine. That's it. That's
all that space. So the flat works were they were almost correct. They
were just off by a little bit. It's not there hiding the Earth being
flat or spiracle or flat. It's that there's space is real. Yeah,
you can you can. There's plenty of uh, you can live. There's
all the planets are habitable to the sun is loud. Also, the sun
is loud once a while, just that's coming up, and you're like,
what, I wouldn't want to be in that world? And I don't know.
I mean, mommy, I can't sleep the Sun's too loud. Imagine
if there was like oxygen and everything around, like I know it's important.
Well let's just say stupid. Let's think like, of course it's stupid,
but I'm just trying to think of I was trying to even think inside fin
terms, if there's anything we can do. But just imagine, like if
you can hear the sun. Imagine if you lived in Mercury, you can
like hear the like just the fire. That would be so definitely, that
would be so deafening. Yeah, it would be. It would bear,
we would hear it. If if we would definitely hear the sun, if
if if air was in space and we could and sound molecules could or whatever
the sound waves not sound molecules is not molecules and sound. I don't know,
it's interesting, but no, flesh lights are flesh lights are what I
mean, as soon as they make something that legitimately feel like you can't tell
the difference. It's just like it's just too easy to go do it for
real. That's way easier though, Like it's until it's not easy, until
you go to a double frow. Some bitch annoys you and you're like,
let me try this, and you're like, I'm done. I'm done with
you. I'm with y'all. Guy. I don't know because I use one
of those ones, and I just remember being so underwhelmed by it. I
was like, this is but that's what I say. Sorry, worse than
it's crazy one. Let me get one. I don't want to buy one.
What do you mean you're an adult, you're grown ass man. Yeah,
but but I understand I could buy one, right, it looks like
a flesh light. She won't know. You just think it's a flashlight.
Right, You'll just buy a flesh light and she'll be like, oh,
that's a little I'm gonna buy it. Watch I watch I buy I buy
it. And that day, for some reason, my girlfriend's mom is one
that picks up the mail. Yeah, and then they're just both in the
house trying to figure out what the fuck this is. And I'm gonna walk
in afterwards and I'm gonna be like, oh, man, here we go.
Does Lily open your packages? Okay? So because it's uh, it
all anything that porn related comes in discrete packaging, so she won't open that
thing. You pull it out. I don't think it actually looks like a
flashlight, that's the problem. Like, it's it's like way bigger than an
actual flashlight. So I don't even know why they oh, next to discreet.
I'm like, no, it's not. People are gonna be what the
fuck is this thing and then unscrew it and then be like, oh it's
it's there's a mouth or an asshole or whatever. I love it. I
love how you can. There's something so funny that there's like, because you
know, it's normally a pussy, that's a default, but there's something way
funnier about the mouth and ass If you've ever seen those versions, A mouth
looks so fucking funny to me. Two sides. There's a mouth and then
there's a butt. It's like a little and I've got a beard. I
got a really fucking gnarly beard, and bustrunk like a drunk with a beard
is an amazing idea. They gotta do that. That is so damn funny.
You bust away harder than you ever have before. It's amazing, Tickles,
You're fantastic. I love I love that idea. I want to I
want to buy one of the butts. You know, this is the butt
with the see the lower part, and I have one of those in my
room. One day, you're like, Lily, Lily comes in. I
got set up the whole strange. Lily comes in and I'm like walking towards
it. She sees that. She's just like, what are you doing?
I'm like, oh, oh yeah, dude, I don't know, man,
that whole thing is the entire thing to me. It's like, we
look, man, it's once again. Good. You're gonna sing a different
tune once it feels once you can't tell the difference. Once you like actually
fuck it and you're like, oh this this literally feels like pussy. Then
all of a sudden you're like, well, I'm good, I'm sad.
No, it's not something about that. Only what the fuck are you talking
about? Of course, it's about that. Only these female companions I want
that. My companions are Carlac Shadow, Hard fucking Life like unfortunately not fucking
night Song and Jahira. Yeah, those fucking stupid, selfish on dick takers.
That was like you morse coded in between those words. Yeah, I
was. I was trying to not like, you're A's finest. You can't
fuck her. That makes me really upset. They could have everybody else.
You have everybody else? Why do you do that? Yeah? They should
make all the non uh fuckable people really ugly exactly so I don't want to
fuck him, but I want to fuck this person. It's also the barred
one. There's also the barred one that you meet at the top of the
time, at the top of the tavern, who is obviously wants to fuck
you, but you can like this is so stupid. I didn't understand that,
Like, what was that she obviously wants to fund you, and I'm
like, bro, this is something. Look at Larry with a couple of
things. There's a handful of things where I'm like, y'all need to patch
this, write me fuck anybody I want to fuck? What's his name.
I want to fuck that's a storm. I want to storm fuck him out
of his armor, and then he doesn't go. I want to funk him
till he falls inside of the thing. It becomes mark Off's thing. I
want to do that. Let me ask you something. And I don't know
why this happened, but so I've done two different play through well three technically,
but in one play through Carlac had like a bunch of piercings and stuff,
and then the other one she didn't like. Yeah, I thought,
beginning the game chat more, well, she had more piercings. I changed
her class because I made her. I made her a paladin barbarian instead of
being a barbarian paladin. Why I'll touch I'll touch that theory because I was
wondering, like, hey, first when she started off, she didn't have
a bunch of ship, and then this next time she has a bunch of
stuff all over, and I was like, I don't understand what the fuck
I did? Did you change your class? Huh? You changed your class?
Well, I added, I ad, I think of the second one,
I made her druid. I think, well, not h well,
I think I gave her Yeah, I think I gave her some druid magic.
Yeah, I mean I made her. I made her a paladin,
and I was gonna make Willa paladin too, but I was like, no,
never mind, I wanted my summoning abilities. Well, here's the thing
I'm gonna I'm I'm gonna look. Now, it's been a while since I
looked at the mods. I'm just gonna see if there's a mod where they
did something where you can have sex with everybody. I want to suck everybody.
All right, so we bear, let's let's move on. I want
to I want to to the Knowles. I want to fuck some of the
zombies. Michael Knowles, Ye, Michael, Yeah, michaelnlesbies, I don't
want to alright, alright, alright, you right. If mister Bubbles read
mister Bubbles, he goes, how how it do? Fellas? What are
the series of events you would orchestrate in order to start World War three?
A real world example would be I'm not gonna read that, but real so
what I would do if if I really So, here's here's what I would
do if I really wanted to start, if I really wanted to send the
world into chaos, I would have a crew of maybe, like I don't
know, fifty to seventy five guys go into the Vatican at night and flip
the whole thing upside down. And then the next morning everybody would wake up
and they'd be like, oh my god, what the fuck the Vatican's upside
down? Like what religious significance is that? Like what does that mean that
the Vatican is upside down overnight? Yeah, and then it would lead to
a bunch of like religious confusion. Everybody be like, what the this is
not prophesized at all, I don't think all the and then a lot of
shit would happen. I didn't read this in a manga. Yeah, exactly
exactly. It is kind of if you think about it, that is kind
of what it is the Bible is for those people, Well, it's it's
just simply a story. This is a big story. No, But what
I mean is like they're waiting for it to catch up with They're waiting for
the anime to catch up. Yeah, I mean they're always waiting for like,
oh, we're waiting for Judgment Day to happen so that this can happen,
because that's this is when this is supposed to happen. I wonder who
they're gonna cast as Christ, you know, like it is really like how
if you want the one day and the Vatican was upside down like with that,
like like is that not a startling image? Using you just pick it
up and flip it over. Hope, the kids got out, That's all
I'm saying, not like a cow tipping just no, big the little kids
got out. I don't really the little kids got out. Yeah, the
children made it out safe that they did not they're they're still chained up,
unfortunately. They're they're in they're they're they're probably in the absolute bottom of the
Vatican, which means they're a at the absolute top of the top now.
But Master Master or whatever his name can't get to them, past little can't
get to them, so they have some time to think about a plan before
he gets up there. The fingered out my kids away boy like a Cox
sleeve. What am I gonna do? What am I? What am I?
I love? The actual chaos instilled in these people's lives? What am
I supposed to do? It's like it's like he has like a it's like
one of those like don't talk to me until I've had my coffee. Yeah,
they'll talk the child, the fire what it called again? Altar boys,
We got this, we got this cool Catholic church merch And it's just
like a coffee cup that says, don't don't talk to me until I my
child. That's crazy. It's funny because it's true. It's a fun because
it's a true Mario. That's that's that's what the that's that's what he says
when he gets caught, when they get caught. So I heard something crazy.
I had some crazy about that Mario thing, right, So what do
you mean say when he starts things? He says, what you say?
I know what you're about to say. I know what you're I know you're
about to say. That's not real. Are you sure you're talking about are
you talking about it's sumi Mario? Yeah, no, that's not real.
I heard it. I don't know if it's really or not. Yeah,
I looked it up because I was curious about it too. So the idea
is like when he said, when he says it's to me, Mario,
it's actually it's actually in Japanese, he's saying, it's sumi Mario, which
means something yes, which means super Mario. It's not what it is he
is saying it's to me, because you don't say that. He doesn't say
it's to me Mario, the original Mario. That's like, that's not that's
probably like what like the original Mario doesn't speak at all. Yes, he
does. He very very fluently. Actually, I don't know, I'm a
playbody else. He's fluently talking to Mario, right, the guy, the
guy in all black who runs around and saves turtles, that one, right,
all black, it's what figure you talking about? Talking to somebody who
was convinced, who was like ma who's like a Mandela level, like Mandela
effect level, convinced that the Mario that he played growing up was like,
no, man, I played Mario and like this is not what I played,
man, Like what I played it was Mario, but like he was,
it was all black. He was rescuing turtles, he had a son
who was crippled, and like just like all these like fucking insane details and
you're like, this is not But he was absolutely convinced that assuming Mario's Walter
White and this thinking that Breaking Bad was a super Mario show. And for
some reason he thinks that Walter White is Mario, like he just like really
like he's really gung ho about it, like almost aggressive about it. Somebody
can stitch that together. Someone consist, someone can figure out waw waw wawes.
I'm the one who Nicky Ziggy wrote, And he says this question is
specifically solely for Chris. It's like Jesus cry, Okay, I want to
know how extensively you hate hand drops. Julia Louis drives is in your room,
but you won't do anything except give you a hand drob. Do you
accept no anyone? Yeah, not now nineties. Yes, I accept purely
for the story, but I don't think I would don't think would enjoy it
actually, like I'd still power off for sure, But I think, all
right, I'm gonna be respectful for Julia. But I'll say I will say
this. I just don't. I just I would. I would, I
would accept it, but there's I know that I wouldn't like it. I
know it like I know it. They don't know what they're doing. That's
for you know, like for famous girls, you got to take a rhyino
pills, like a really like a really nice sluggin you know, dude,
I give him a nice dick. You know you keep you keep Rhino pills
in your pocket in a clear plastic bag. Doesn't case you get a chance
to fuck a famous woman. You have like seven or eight of them in
a bag. You always should, Yeah, like like some power. You're
like, hey, honey, I understand you know, but this is a
famous woman. I'm gonna go fuck Rian Harry real quick. Can you pass
me one of the right O pills? Why not? Many? You go
there and you just make that woman have the worst time of her life.
Bro, you go there, you just hurt that lady and you get out.
You're like a good job me. Look, Chris, you haven't had
the right hand jobs all. I'm gonna say, Man, I just I
honestly, if if I've been serious, like real talk, I just I
genuinely think my my brain doesn't let me enjoy it. Maybe, but I
just think I'm just like inherently like I'm just like I could look, you
know what I have all of You have all of these tools that I don't
have access to. You're gonna use your hand. I have a hand.
I don't need you to do this, So that means you only enjoy pussy
then, because I mean, you have all the other tools that they have
too other than pussy. I don't think a girl can give a better hand
job than me. And this is what it is. That's the thing.
So I mean, like I totally like I agree with that's just because your
groove that you're used to for all these years is not going to really compared
to somebody else's where it just feels foreign and they don't know exactly how you
crank it right the tech. I have the tech for years, bro right,
But there it's more of a like I feel like it's it's just like
anything like say, for example, if you you you you bang in public,
some people it excites them, which adds more euphoria, more dopamine.
So there's things that like it can be good just because oh so and so
x is giving me a hand job could make it enjoyable. It's not necessarily
the act. It's just one of those things. But I feel like where
you're at, I'm with that, and like say, anything that has to
do with like what was it called prostate like like that, Like I'm I'm
like, I haven't gone down that venture even though I'm you know, I've
heard how fucking wonderful it is and stuff, and it's like, oh,
if I go down that path, maybe I'll never come back. Maybe I'm
maybe I'll start, Yeah, maybe I'll start going to gate clubs and just
and embracing them songs that I sing and embracing them. Do you guys,
do you guys think that men overall give better hand jobs than women in general?
Yeah, that's that's probably not I don't know from experience outside of my
own, but I don't know. I don't know, but I would assume
like it it only makes sense. Yes, I will say it's a counterpoint
because I feel like, because I remember this is high school when we were
just talking about this subject kind of and one of my homies, the way
that he described himself beating off was like like like his hand was the their
way Like it's like this, yeah, and so what my point being,
never you never did kung ful grip before? WHOA? What's going on?
WHOA? It has a name, It's called kung fu gripping. Okay,
I didn't know that, So okay, that would be the only person that'd
be going. I'd be going, that'd be going silly strings sometimes and I
was going awards. Even if I switch hands, it's just like it doesn't
feel like it's not like the grooves off. But what I do is what
I do is what I do is I get real hard and I twisted,
I twist it, and then I while I's still twist, grab like this
backwards. And I'm not you should get only fans and demonstrate, yeah,
teaching people how to master ba. I'm not. I don't know, man,
I don't remember what my point was anymore. That was genuinely like a
flashbag of a sentence. We're just gonna move on, be coule. Thank
you for the question, Niggy, thank you, thank you, thank you.
I don't know n words. I said, what the hell is wrong?
I'm just saying what that's nickname, what's wrong? I don't I do
not understand what's up. The dog told me to say it. That's what
it is. He is n word right, Nick, I see what you're
saying. I see I see your words. Partly with what with what is
happening in this in this current moment, fifty shades of gay rood in.
He says, hey, guys, since our emotions exist to basically keep us
alive and propagating in an environment which no longer exists, I e. Monkey
brain. Do you guys have any examples of extremely dumb ship your emotional mind
has pulled you to doing or almost doing. I'm this case in this way.
Oh not, I'm this case. In this case. I consider hunger
and emotion too. Hunger is not an emotion. Hunger is not an emotion.
It can make you an emotional it can make you I guess yea man,
I want my fucking chicken fries from Burger King. Nuggies. They got
twelve water chicken fries, now, bro they got they got they got two
four, like eight twelve of the chicken fries or something or something like that.
Like it's so funny that that's the only thing for Burger King that I
would even remote delicious. They're so good. I went in and I was
like, hey, oh, can I get some chicken fries? And the
bitch was like, she was like, how many do you want? She
said, she rattled it off, and as I was driving forward, I
was like, wait, did she give me chicken nuggets? Because I know
you can like order that. I was like, what the Fu's I went
to the windows, like, hey, no, excuse me. I was
like, actually, mint the chicken fries. She's like, nah, you
can, fucking this is how we do it now. And I was like,
well, bitch, give me fucking twelve chicken fries. And those are
fucking amazing. You talking about those when they're like fresh, like when they're
like at them in the morning, fresh, dude, before lunch. Because
they still make regular food during breakfast. Order chicken fries during breakfast. You
know it's kind of early, but still they're piping hot every time because they
have to make them fresh. I stand by that ship man, I said,
I I will, I will go to war for chicken fries. They're
amazing. They're fucking I was actually thinking about, so what are you to
do my pills all the way? I got some from fucking the last time
I had some chicken fries. I was looking at this earlier and I was
like, fuck, I want some chicken fries, serially, I want them
so bad right now. But to me, I'm sorry, guys, you're
do that flavor is good gooding bizarre chicken fries or ship. I love raising
canes, what is wrong? I don't love I like raising gains I like.
I don't love it. You like it at all? You said you
die by them, you die by them, you swear by and you would
said that once you said that last episode. I like it, I don't.
I wouldn't die by it, though I would my life, I would
rip my own heart out for ever. I don't love anything that much,
and I'm getting married soon. I want you to understand that, right,
I don't love anything that exists that much. You would, you would kick
getting married soon? What soon means to you? I don't know. I'm
getting I'm probably gonna get engagement in this year, so married probably next year.
To me, you're probably going to get it. I thought you were
already engaged this metaphorically so you told me. Man, that's what women love,
right. They love that America metaphorical engagement. I don't know why they
want. I don't know. It's such a stupid situation. But they're like,
let's get married, and and like, just like, I don't know
why weddings are so expensive, so small expensive, have a small thing,
don't go why you just having it? Racing canes in a park, useless
piece of ship, barbarian? Fuck it. I I can't stand I can't
get off this. You hate you. You're like chicken fries are mid I
go raising Kanes is an optimal chicken. I just I can't said that.
You said that, just now, you said it's optimal chicken. It's not
even close. It's like not even in the same ballpark. That was the
best chicken a round in my life. I specific specifically, I'm having wrong,
joins us on the podcast. I'm sorry, Yeah, he's doing at
this point now we made fun of Robert F. Kennedy last episode. Yeah,
I don't have anything against fucking fan. Man. I don't know everything.
Everything emotional is is I've done stupid. I've done the stupidest in the
world just because of like I thought I was in love and it's like the
dumbest ship in the world. I look, I'm like, that is so
um you my homie. During that time, I was gonna make fun of
you about it. I was gonna like, all right, I gotta be
a good this is one of the times that you should be a good friend
for your friend. But I look back, but I was like, damn,
bro, you're pretty stupid. But then I was just like, all
right, man, if it's just Christen, you go for I think,
right, yeah, I'd like this guy is this nigga is dumbat your friends
are supposed to tell you the truth, man, Kings is useless. If
someone if someone is really passionate about something, and I know it's dumb and
they're really passionate, but you know what, man, you're not gonna listen
to me. You're not listening to me in the first place anymore. So
go live your life. Experience, got experience, and then we'll talk after
you're done, after you're done with you raped and murdered, and then there
was no talking after you're done, saved him. No, never, never,
kings doesn't reflect at all like that. I don't reflect about people at
all, Dude. I forget so many it's the previous day, the second,
the second, the next day begins. Just I can't wait to get
raising canes. Every day is a new game plus for Kingson, It's like
I go to bed, I go to bed, I say some weird sequence
of letters, and I wake up the next day like, ah, this
is pretty good. You wake up prestige. I've seen you, I've seen
your fucking your schedule. It's wake up piss raising canes, podcasts, Raising
canes, piss, sleep, raising canes, wake up, wake up,
wake up, wake up, piss, get out of bed raising. The
idea of somebody pissing in their bed is still so funny to me, dude,
it's so funny, so relaxed. They starts. His white mattress looks
like fucking SpongeBob SquarePants when he wakes up because all the acid, there's a
literal holes in it. What are you drinking? It said? Oh man,
what do you mean, just just raising canes and high seat. That's
it. That's it. I seed. You know you don't put that.
I take cant acids. You're taking acids, and your piss still looks like
that. He's in the bathroom, pissing, burning through the fucking portlain and
toilet. It's bubble, it bubbles in there. Dude. He leaves the
bathroom, shuts the lights off, and it sounds like pop rocks. No,
in fact, it's still light in there. That's how much. That's
how fucking high octane is pissed. Right, Well, I know, I
don't know, man, Love is love anger. I've almost I've never been
I have never every time I've been angry about something and I've done something out
of anger. I've never regretted it. It's always it's always been like,
yeah, I did that appropriately. Like anger is like less misleading to me
anyway. But yeah, no, being in love is stupid. I've been
saying I felt possessed by anger, and that shit is terrifying. That's like
the most scary experience I've ever had in my life, Like one of the
like existential moments. I was like, I was so angry, I was
not myself and that is a horrible feeling. What happened. Never want that
that ever happened again. I think after somebody tape over your somebody tape over
your Digimon episode, it was something when I was like younger wronging my cousin,
thing comes to my cousin. I got so mad. I was like,
I've never been so angry in my life. And I look back on
it and I was like, I was so angry. I could have done
something really stupid. Thank god I lived in the suburbs and I couldn't find
anything to do stupid with. But it's just stuff like that. It's just
like, yeah, he would have went over it hasn't beat him to death
with a deer. Hell, did you over my face? So he looked,
He's like, this is a deer. He's just like a body of
a deer, and like somewhat holding that. He opened the door and I
started hitting him with I don't think I have somebody strong enough to grab a
deer by a legs and swing it with like effective combat like like like combat
effectiveness. I would hit you and send you flying in such an insane way.
It's such a ridiculous way you would go flying from that to be flying
like you remember that Xbox sixty or that Xbox commercial of like the baby being
born and it's like shot into the sky and then it like ages really quickly
and then it like lands in a grave. I don't, I swear to
god, I'm not even joking. I don't remember. That sounds morbid.
That's that's what. That's the force that I'm imagining. Hold on Xbox aging
commercial, Yeah, morbiss, Yeah, it comes up on YouTube. Yeah,
life is short. Xbox two thousand and two. Video game advertisments used
to be fucking crazy. Yeah, that's I really want to That really makes
me want to play Xbox. Maybe I'm not describing it well, but like
I this is this is such a crazy fucking just scream at the top for
lungs, dude, it's not a loaf of bread. Essentially as a kid,
dude, you have no idea. Hey it has no penis, that
was going on genitals. It's just a baby gender sex this baby, dude.
I love. I can't believe never seen this, dude. I love
this. This curercion was one of the one of the first things I saw
was like, what is video games? Exactly? Because I remember feeling like
I had played them, but uh, life is short play more. Yeah,
it's really old. This was like two thousand and two. This was
original. It's crazy that he's like, that's like the that's literally the worst
life ever ever. You have no genitals, you can't even come your just
shooting through the air and agonizing pain. That motherfucker was like screaming the entire
time, just explodes into the grave, just exploding such a see you live
how much? So when it first shoots out, it's probably at like seven
seconds in so literally you lived for a less way less than a minute.
Dude. I love I love that. I miss like when game, Like
when when video game advertising was fucking crazy like this, this is like pretty.
It's just like do you remember, like it was this one? And
do you remember like the PlayStation baby commerce, Like there was a lot of
baby commercials weirdly enough, but like I remember the PS three in that in
that that white room with the floating baby. Do you remember that one?
That sounds familiar? No? I don't remember it. We're really PS three
baby ad you've never seen this? Hold on, let me so it's a
baby doll, but like it's here, it is. I can't believe you've
never seen this or like you don't remember it. But it was like so
much of the advertising back then was just this fucking like almost like it was.
It wasn't like horror exactly. It was like it was like eerie or
like trying to get you to feel like off, yeah you know what I
mean, Like something was like something was wrong. I remember this. Yeah,
that's fucking play Beyond dude. It's it's it's so fucking weird, Like
I miss this now because now it's yeah, it starts levitating at the end.
I just I don't know, man, it now it's like this,
there's really nothing like this anymore. It's just kind of like new on PlayStation
Plus and it's like, all right, well cool. I guess somebody showed
up into my recommended on YouTube and they were just playing Parasite Eve and uh,
oh wow, like they have no idea you keep cut right, and
it was just some also like some unknown person. My recommended is full of
like people starting out and then just kind of it just gives me. It's
it's actually kind of interesting. I think it's pretty cool, and it just
made me miss the old PlayStation you know, the opening, just the turning
on the console. Oh dude, ye, the PS one's the PS one
opening sound is fucking I think I'm sure it's probably I'm sure it's probably nostalgia
obviously, but like I also think like there's an element of objectivity too,
where it's like that is just a cool fucking sound. There's nothing out of
everything that has existed, every console that existed, nothing's come close to it.
In my opinion. Starting of the one is, uh, there's no
way to I don't think there's a way to really do it with your fucking
mouth. It's just like those notes like when and then if your if your
disc is fucked up and never makes it past that. It doesn't get to
it doesn't do this, it doesn't do the second sound sound was like yeah,
like like, dude, I loved it so much, like fil to
be fair, to be fair, A lot of those like like P S
one, p S two, Original Xbox even, Dude, I liked it,
But I liked it those least probably of that generation I liked at the
least because it just kind of it was like ethereal, kind of like oh
yeah, but like the Xbox had like holy like lava lamp alien sounds and
it was fucking dope kind of cool. Yeah, and the in the GameCube.
But the most I'm sorry, the game it was iconic. Uh,
I know it was the best one. It was between those three. I
think it was definitely. I think it was like the gayest one almost.
It was so cool. A lot of nice memes, though, I will
say good, it's good. It's it's one hundred percent. The memes of
that are pretty good. Like I was big on the Xbox One because it
just sounds so it sounded like an alien computer and it's every time I turned
the original Xbox on, I felt like I was operating technology that I really
should be operating, And it was a really fucking cool feeling that entire that
entire generation. PS one up until like three sixty might be the last one
that I thought was and that was kind of like okay, like in the
in the beginning, like you know, it was fine. Yeah, it
was definitely better the three sixty. I mean, you can look it up.
It changed a lot, but like the original three sixty was fun.
It was like less cool than like the PS two GameCube, original Xbox and
definitely way less than the PS one, but it was still something. The
PS three sucked, and then PS four and Xbox one sucked, and PS
five and Series X sucked. It's like they never really I don't know,
man, the PS one is still supreme in my opinion. That that shit
was fucking the game boys up there too, honestly, even though it's like
super simple. Agreed, Agreed, it's a nice one. I like that
one. It's a good one. But fuck man, that the original PS
one sound. I could listen to that sound forever. Probably. Yeah,
let's let's let's bring this on home, all right, Let's let's bring while
I while I bring it home, I'll send this, uh this trailer to
you, guys. This is a three sixty commercial for the launch Such a
man, it's such a different time. Look at this. This is crazy.
I bet this wouldn't even be allowed to do today, I bet,
even though it's super simple. But I'm gonna read the names now Patreon.
I didn't even fucking close the Patren window cut. Damn. Well, they're
not going to change, brother, just yeah, but like we already had,
like we had like such a big conversation the life do you? I'll
read Okay, we'll read it separately. Okay, I'll read. I'll record
it later. I gotta do like a thing for sacred tonight anyway, so
I'll just record it after I do that. But did you click on this
trailer? Okay? This is fucking it's it's nuts. It's just a bunch
of people in like a city street and like a jbbing mall pretending to shoot
the fuck out of each other finger guns. Yeah, I do. I
love I love this fucking ad. It was banned bad because it was like
it was like, you're encouraging real world violence yet with finger guns. That's
so stupid. Why are we so dumb? Because? Yeah, this is
cool? As ship. I loved it that the one at the end,
the thing at the end, it really gets me. I love it.
This guy's like he's like, wait, wait, don't on the phone,
go hold on. That's good, that's awesome. I missed this ship,
dude, Like I don't know whatever, yea, everything wasn't political, like
like, I don't know, man, Like I I listen to this weird
bubble of in between where like up up, yeah, we gotta go by
nobody cares about, nobody cares about you, weirdo, fucking go buy raising
pines and jerk off this ass