Chapter three Gautama. In the town as Savathi, every child knew the name
of the Exalted Buddha, and every house was prepared to fill the arms dish
of Gautama's disciples. The silently begging ones near the town was Gatama's favorite place
to stay, the grove of Jetavana, which the rich merchant Anatha Pindika,
an obedient worshiper of the Exalted One, had given him and his people for
a gift. All tales and answers which the two young ascetics had received in
their search for Gatama's abode, had pointed them towards this area, and arriving
at Savathi. In the very first house, before the door of which they
stopped to beg food has been offered to them, and they accepted the food,
and Saddhartha asked the woman who handed them the food, We would like
to know, charitable one, where the Buddha dwells, the most venerable one.
For we are two Samanas from the forest and have come to see him,
the perfected One, and to hear the teachings from his mouth. Quoth
the woman here, you have truly come to the right place, You samanas
from the forest. You should know in Jetavana, in the garden of Anatha
Pindika is where the Exalted One dwells. There, you pilgrim, shall spend
the night, for there is enough space for the innumerable who flock here to
hear the teachings from his mouth. This made Govinda happy and full of joy.
He exclaimed, Well, so thus we have reached our destination and our
path has come to an end. But tell us, o, mother of
the pilgrims, do you know him, the Buddha? Have you seen him
with your own eyes? Quoth the woman. Many times I have seen him,
the Exalted One. On many days I have seen him walking through the
alleys in silence, wearing his yellow cloak, presenting his arms dish in silence
at the doors of the houses, leaving with a filled dish. Delightedly,
Govinda listened and wanted to ask and hear much more, but Siddartha urged him
to walk on. They thanked and left and hardly had to ask for directions,
for rather many pilgrims and monks as well from Gautama's community were on their
way to the Jetavana, and since they reached it at night, there were
constant arrivals, shouts and talk of those who sought shelter and got it.
The two Samanas, accustomed to life in the forest, found quickly and without
making any noise, a place to stay, and rested there until the morning.
At sunrise, they saw with astonishment what a large crowd of believers and
curious people had spent the night here on all paths of the marvelous grove.
Monks walked in yellow robes under the trees. They sat here and there in
deep contemplation or in a conversation about spiritual matters. The shady gardens looked like
a city full of people, bustling like bees. The majority of the monks
went out with their arms dish to collect food in town for their lunch,
the only meal of the day. The buddher himself, the enlightened One,
was also in the habit of taking his walk to beg in the morning.
Siddartha saw him, and he instantly recognized him, as if a god had
pointed him out to him. He saw him, a simple man in a
yellow robe, bearing the arms dish in his hand, walked silently. Look
here, said Arthur, said quietly to Govinda. This one is the Buddha.
Attentively, Govinda looked at the monk in the yellow robe, who seemed
to be in no way different from the hundreds of other monks, and soon
Govinda also realized this is the one, and they followed him and observed him.
The Buddha went on his way, modestly and deep in his thoughts.
His calm face was neither happy nor sad. It seemed to smile gently and
inwardly, with a hidden smile, quiet calm, somewhat resembling a healthy child.
The Buddha walked, wore the robe, and placed his feet, just
as all of his monks did according to a precise rule. But his face
and his walk, his quietly lowered glance, his quietly dangling hand, and
even every finger of his quietly dangling hand expressed peace, expressed perfection, did
not search, did not imitate, breathed softly in an unwithering calm, in
an unwithering light, an untouchable peace. Thus Gautama walked toward the town to
collect arms, and the two Samanas recognized him solely by the perfection of his
calm, by the quietness of his appearance, in which there was no searching,
no desire, no imitation, no effort to be seen, only light
and peace. To day, we'll hear the teachings from his mouth, said
Govinda. Sir Arthur did not answer. He felt little curiosity for the teachings.
He did not believe that they would teach him anything new. But he
had, just as Govinda had heard the contents of this Buddha's teachings again and
again, though these reports only represented second or third hand information. But attentively
he looked at Gautama's head, his shoulders, his feet, his quietly dangling
hand, and it seemed to him as if every joint of every finger of
this hand was of these teachings, spoke of, breathed, of inhaled,
the fragrance of glistened of the truth. This man, this Buddha, was
truthful down to the gesture of his last finger. This man was holy.
Never before Siddhartha had venerated a person so much, Never before he had loved
a person as much as this one. They both followed the Buddha until they
reached the town, and then returned in silence, for they themselves intended to
abstain from food on this day. They saw Gautama returning what he ate could
not even have satisfied a bird's appetite, And they saw him retiring into the
shade of the mango trees. But in the evening, when the heat cooled
down and everyone in the camp started to bustle about and gathered around, they
heard the Buddha teaching. They heard his voice, and it was also perfected,
was of perfect calmness, was full of peace. Gautama taught the teachings
of suffering, of the origin of suffering, of the way to relieve suffering.
Calmly and clearly. His quiet speech flowed on suffering. Was life full
of suffering, was the world. But salvation from suffering had been found.
Salvation was obtained by him who would walk the path of the Buddha. With
a soft yet firm voice. The Exalted One spoke, taught the four main
doctrines, taught the eightfold path. Patiently, he went the usual path of
the teachings, of the examples of the repetitions. Brightly and quietly, his
voice hovered over the listeners like a light, like a starry night. When
the Buddha Knight had already fallen ended his speech. Men near pilgrim stepped forward
and asked to be accepted into the community, sought refuge in the teachings,
and Gautama accepted them by saying, you have heard the teachings. Well it
has come to you. Well thust join us and walk in holiness to put
an end to all suffering. Behold. Then Govinda, the shy one,
also stepped forward and spoke, I also take my refuge in the Exalted One
and his teachings, And he asked to be accepted into the community of the
disciples, and was accepted. Right afterwards, when the Buddha had retired for
the night, Govinda turned to Siddhartha and spoke eagerly, Siddhartha, it is
not my place to scold you. We have both heard the Exalted One,
and we have both perceived the teachings. Govinda has heard the teachings, he
has taken refuge in it. But you, my honored friend, don't you
also want to walk the path of salvation? Would you want to hesitate?
Do you want to wait any longer? Said Arthur, awakened as if he
had been asleep when he heard Govinda's words for a long time. He looked
into Govinda's face. Then he spoke quietly in a voice without mockery. Govinda,
my friend, Now you have taken this step. Now you have chosen
this path always, Oh Govinda, you've been my friend. You've always walked
one step behind me. Often I have thought, won't Govinda for once also
take a step by himself without me out of his own soul. Behold,
now you've turned into a man and are choosing your path for yourself. I
wish that you would go it up to its end, oh, my friend,
that you shall find salvation. Govinda, not completely understanding it yet,
repeated his question in an impatient tone. Speak up, I beg you,
my dear, tell me, since it could not be any other way,
that you, also, my learned friend, will take your refuse with the
exalted Buddha said. Arthur placed his hand on Vinda's shoulder. You failed to
hear my good wish for you, oh Govinda, I am repeating it.
I wish that you would go this path up to its end, that you
shall find salvation. In this moment, Govinda realized that his friend had left
him, and he started to weep. Siddhartha, he exclaimed, lamentingly,
said Arthur kindly spoke to him, don't forget, Govinda, that you are
now one of the Samanas of the Buddha. You have renounced your home and
your parents, renounced your birth and possessions, renounced your free will, renounced
all friendship. This is what the teachings require, This is what the Exalted
One wants, This is what you wanted for yourself. Tomorrow, oh Govinda,
I'll leave you for a long time. The friends continued walking in the
grove for a long time. They lay there and found no sleep, and
over and over again. Govinda urged his friend he should tell him why he
would not want to seek refuge in Gattama's teachings. What fault he would find
in these teachings? But said Arthur turned him away every time and said,
be content, Govinda, very good are the teachings of the Exalted One?
How could I find a fault in them? Very early in the morning,
a follower of Buddha, one of his oldest monks, went through the garden
and called all those to him who had, as novices taken their refuge in
the teachings, to dress them up in the yellow robe, and to instruct
them in the first teachings and duties of their position. Then Govinda broke loose,
embraced once again his childhood friend, and left with the novices. But
sid Arthur walked through the grove lost in thought. Then he happened to meet
Gautama, the Exalted One, And when he greeted him with respect, and
the Buddha's glance was so full of kindness and calm, the young man summoned
his courage and asked the Venerable One for the permission to talk to him.
Silently, the Exalted One nodded his approval. Quoth said Arthur, yesterday,
oh Exalted One, I had been privileged to hear your wondrous teachings together with
my friend. I had come from Afar to hear your teachings. And now
my friend is going to stay with your people. He has taken his refuge
with you. But I will again start on my pilgrimage as you please.
The veneraal Woe spoke politely. Too bold is my speech, said Arthur,
continued, but I do not want to leave the Exalted One without having honestly
told him my thoughts. Does it please the Venerable One to listen to me
for one moment longer. Silently, the Buddha nodded his approval. Quoth said
Arthur, One thing, oh most venerable one, I have admired in your
teaching. Most of all, everything in your teachings is perfectly clear, is
proven. You are presenting the world as a perfect chain, a chain which
is never and nowhere broken, an eternal chain, the links of which are
causes and effects. Never before this has been seen so clearly, Never before
this has been presented so irrefutably. Truly, the heart of every Brahman has
to be stronger with love once he has seen the world through your teachings,
perfectly connect, without gaps, clear as a crystal, not depending on chance,
not depending on gods, whether it may be good or bad, whether
living according to it would be suffering or joy. I do not wish to
discuss. Possibly this is not essential, but the uniformity of the world,
That everything which happens is connected, That the great and the small things are
all encompassed by the same forces of time, by the same law of causes,
of coming into being and of dying. This is what shines brightly out
of your exalted teachings, Oh perfected one, But according to your very own
teachings, This unity and necessary sequence of all things is nevertheless broken in one
place through a small gap. This world of unity is invaded by some alien,
something new, something which had not been there before, and which cannot
be demonstrated and cannot be proven. These are your teachings of overcoming the world
of salvation, that with this small gap, with this small breach, the
entire eternal and uniform law of the world is breaking apart again and becomes void.
Please forgive me for expressing the subjection quietly. Gautama had listened to him
unmoved. Now he spoke the perfected one with his kind, with his polite
and clear voice. You've heard the teachings, oh son of a Brahman,
and good for you that you've thought about it thus deeply. You've found a
gap in it, an error. You should think about this further. But
be warned, oh seeker of knowledge, of the thicket of opinions. Of
arguing about words, there is nothing to opinions. They may be beautiful or
ugly, smart or foolish. Everyone can support them or discard them. But
the teachings you've heard from me are no opinion, and their goal is not
to explain the world to those who seek knowledge. They have a different goal.
Their goal is salvation from suffering. This is what Gautama teaches nothing else.
I wish that you, oh Exalted One, would not be angry with
me, said the young man. I have not spoken to you like this
to argue with you, to argue about words. You are truly right.
There is little two opinions. But let me say this one more thing.
I have not doubted in you for a single moment. I have not doubted
for a single moment that you are Buddha, that you have reached the goal,
the highest goal towards which so many thousands of Brahmans and the sons of
Brahmans are on their way. You have found salvation from death. It has
come to you in the course of your own search, on your own path,
through thoughts, through meditation, through realizations, through enlightenment. It has
not come to you by means of teachings. And thus is my thought,
Oh Exalted One, nobody will obtain salvation by means of teachings. You will
not be able to convey and say to anybody, Oh venerable One, in
words and through teachings, what has happened to you in the hour of enlightenment.
The teachings of the Enlightened Buddha contain much. It teaches many to live
righteously, to avoid evil. But there is one thing that these so clear,
these so venerable teachings do not contain. They do not contain the mystery
of what the Exalted One has experienced for himself, he alone among hundreds of
thousands. This is what I have thought and realized when I have heard the
teachings. This is why I am continuing my travels, not to seek other
better teachings, for I know there are none, but to depart from all
teachings and all teachers, and to reach my goal by myself, or to
die. But often I'll think of this day, oh Exalted One, and
of this hour when my eyes beheld a holy man. The Buddha's eyes quietly
looked to the ground, quietly, in perfect equanimity. His inscrutable face was
smiling. I wish the Venerable One spoke slowly, that your thoughts shall not
be in error, that you shall reach the goal. But tell me,
have you seen the multitude of my samanas, my many brothers who have taken
refuge in the teachings, And do you believe, oh stranger, oh Samana,
do you believe that it would be better for them to abandon the teachings
and to return into the life of the world and of desires. Far is
such a thought from my mind, exclaimed said Arthur. I wish that they
shall stay with the teachings, that they shall reach their goal. It is
not my place to judge another person's life. Only for myself. For myself
alone, I must decide, I must choose. I must refuse. Salvation
from the self is what we Samanas search for, Oh exalted One. If
I merely were one of your disciples, Oh venerable One, I'd fear that
it might happen to me that only seemingly, only deceptively, myself would be
calmed and be redeemed, but that in truth it would live on and grow.
For then I had replaced myself with the teachings, my duty to follow
you, my love for you and the community of the monks. With half
of a smile, with an unwavering openness and kindness, Gautama looked into the
stranger's eyes and bid him to leave with a hardly noticeable gesture. You are
wise, oh Samana, the venerable one spoke, You know how to talk
wisely, my friend, but be aware of too much wisdom. The Buddha
turned away, and his glance and half of a smile remained forever etched in
sad Arthur's memory. I have never before seen such a person glance and smile,
sit and walk this way, he thought. Truly, I wished to
be able to lance and smile, sit and walk this way too, Thus
free, thus venerable, thus concealed, thus open, thus childlike and mysterious.
Truly, only a person who has succeeded in reaching the innermost part of
his self would glance and walk this way. Well, So I also will
seek to reach the innermost part of myself. I saw a man, said
Arthur, thought, a single man before whom I would have to lower my
glance. I do not want to lower my glance before any other, not
before any other. No teachings will entice me any more. Since this man's
teachings have not enticed me. I am deprived by the Buddha, thought,
said Arthur. I am deprived, and even more he has given to me.
He has deprived me of my friend, the one who had believed in
me and now believes in him, who had been my shadow and is now
Gautama's shadow. But he has given me Saddhartha myself. End of chapter three,