What's going on? It is Eric Dizzy and I had a bright idea to
record conversations with the cast members of Fake Love to keep you all entertained while
we work on this new limited series. Such a great idea, I think
so, and I want you to let me know if you think so by
sending me a message on Instagram, Sorry brain fart at black with a podcast
or my personal page Eric Dizzy dot Audio. This first conversation is with the
star of Fake Love, Britney Taylor, one of my favorite people ever ever
ever? Is she forcing me to say this? I can't say. Am
I scared of her? I won't say that either, But this conversation was
very fun and I hope you enjoy it. Quick update on Fake Love's coming
together. Great. It sounds really good. I'm just up actionists and it's
taken longer than I thought it would, but no worries. It is coming.
Let's jump in the middle of this conversation with Bretty Taylor enjoy and maybe
at a certain age she can get back to it. But I know,
even for me though, because it acting took a lot, a lot of
time awhere for me and my kids, I was so happy with the pandemic
hit or the Penny the Penny was the best thing to happen. The Penny
the Penny was. But that was when I had my first kid, So
I kind of I kind of understand. I kind of understand what you mean
by that. Just it just shut everything down, Sit your ass down,
sit your ass in your motherfucking house, and sit down with yourself. I
want another I want another lockdown too. I want them to be like,
hey, lock this shit down, y'all, niggas kind of go outside past
nine o'clock because I just I just didn't feel obligated to go anywhere and do
anything or see anybody. Yeah, And then I had a baby, so
I was like like, right now, all I use my kids as an
excuse to not go anywhere, to not talk on the phone. If I
want to get out the phone faster, i'd be like, oh shit,
my daughter's crying, like and they don't need to be crying. They just
I'd be like, oh, I gotta go. But all of that to
say, you're my best friend and you have helped me to keep black without
going. And Tuesday, I was driving home from somewhere um and it was
a full moon. The motherfucker was big. It was huge. It was
huge. You on the east side, so y'all might not have that moons.
The moon shines right over there on the east side, Okay, it
was. It was big as fuck. And I was looking at it,
and I was just like, I have everything, and I have everybody that
I need in order to be successful. That's including you, my wife,
my mom. Fucking change, yeah, because this is what I want to
do. And then and then I had to realize, like success and what
what is success? Right? So, like this morning I cried two tears
because my son was at the defrigerator with my wife playing, and then my
daughters was in the seat, and I was just looking at it, and
I just got done and setting up the room, and I was like,
I'm about to eat breakfast with my family and then go and record with my
family. And I was like, I am fulfilled. The only thing I
don't have is an abundance of money. But I don't need an abundance of
money right now because I don't need the abundance of money. So I'm really
happy. So I want to say I wanted to say thank you at the
top of this. I really do love you. And I really do appreciate
you, and I need you to know that whatever I say to you,
but in regards of how I feel about you, I want you to know
that I do not say these things to other people. I do not care
about how other people are doing. I do not care about a lot of
things. But I do care about your well being, and I do care
about what I need to do in order to help you either conquer some of
the sadness that you dealing with, you know, after the death of your
your highest steam family member, whether it be to you know, being a
single mom, like I see you, and I just want to I want
to allow you to use this as a vessel however you may see fit.
And before I like, I made a graphic. I made a graphic,
a new graphic for this series and a new graphic for the cast. I
never I've never done that. So I want to y'all are my motherfucking I'm
Spike Lee. I'm Spike Lee, I'm the new I'm the podcast Spike Lee.
I am that I'm the podcast Tyler Perry. Then that means that you
are my Samuel Jackson, you are my Denzel Washington, you are you are
my fucking Tammela Man, you are going you are these people and you are
with me and and really Shandrea, you and Shandrea. Like when y'all came
over at like midnight to record, I was like, damn, like because
y'all don't have to do that. It is so that's no more. That's
that's why I wanted to record first, this first before we get into the
session, so we don't inter up the session with conversation. So the topic
of today is Jophas. Okay, I have a son and I have two
daughters. You have a son and you have a daughter. My wife's best
friend has a daughter, and she's beautiful. She's a couple of months younger
than my son. And every time they get together, there like this.
But they never play they never have play dates. But every time it's like
there together, they're like this. It ain't no warming up, it ain't
none of that. It's just like instant because she's beautiful. Now, if
you don't have any kids, kids do not like ugly kids. That's the
fact. Kids do not want to play with ugly kids. Kids do not
want to be around ugly kids, and kids do not like ugly people.
So if my kid don't come to you and smile at you, that means
you ugly. So I mean, he looks at his mom beautiful features all
day, looks at my handsome face all day. And I'm not the most
handsomest guy in the world, but I know I ain't ugly, and he
loved me. Yeah. So um So last night I was in the bed
and I was talking to my wife and I was like, y'all, I
really would like for um, I really would like for them to date.
And she was like why, I said, because I don't want my son
to endure the pain or put pain on a woman because of a whole phase.
Now for me to me a hope. If you don't know what a
whole phase is, what is a whole to me? I think a whole
phase is a time where you do not commit to anybody but yourself. Sexuality
male female. Some of y'all agist holes, and it's not a phase.
How is life? We adn't even gonna act like it's not. So I
said that, you know, I don't really want my son to ever have
to This is hindsight when I think back on women that might have agreed to
just fuck me and first, sex is dangerous. Sex is extremely dangerous,
but it's extremely pleasurable. And I think that some of the if we're not
talking about seds, you're not talking about pregnancy, A lot of the pain
that comes from sex is, am I not good enough for you to want
me for real, for real feelings? Yeah? And then to block those
feelings like to to be to open yourself up to somebody, to strip down
naked, to your most vulnerable state and let this person either inside. Sometimes
we don't get completely naked, but go ahead. I'm not fucking anybody with
any article of clothing on. If you do not want to get fully naked
and we're in a bed, you can go home. Listen, I know
for a fact, sometimes I'm smoking fully make it. You know. Sometimes
she might keep her shirt off. Who is she the female? Why she
might be too insecure to show her body? You don't know? I mean,
listen, I had I had a woman who just had a baby,
and the baby suck the life out of her titties. I said, if
you don't take that fucking shirt off and let them shiit sack to the side
while I fucking missionaries down or let them dangle down like let the motherfucker's dangle
down like motherfucking Christmas ornaments. But that's a real thing. Though we are,
someone of us can insecure. But I've been there. I've definitely been
insecure. But I love you, so I don't want you to ever feel
like that. I know, I know, I know how insecurities work.
But it's no different from me when I had bad skin. I still have
to come into this motherfucker and show my face. Yeah, and you and
you accept me for it. So let me accept you for those titties.
It ain't just about titties. Though. We got the stomach, we got
the rose baby. I had my ex bastard um likes to play with my
stomach and I'm I'm not now he will sit and pinch at my stomach,
at my little rose and my food, but he pinches at it, and
I'm like. At first, I was just like, why no, that's
I'm insecure about that. I'll do that. Then, kids, Stepper Party
said, I love your st I love your body. You look good to
me. I did, said here, I'm it, but go ahead.
We we we as women, we are insecure about certain parts of our bodies.
We're insecure about a lot of things, not just even our bodies,
but we have insecurities. So just because something might be looking good to you
or you might like it, we still battle with what we don't like.
With all that said, if you allow a motherfucker in your house and your
home and your bed under your covers with the shirt on or with the shirt
off, there are things that come with that that I don't want my daughters
to ever encounter or my son to ever encounter. When I think back on
the things that I have done to women unintentionally because I was dumb, I
was young, and I was very irresponsible. I was very emotionally irresponsible to
these women. Um because I was, I was. I'm not I was.
I don't know what I was, but I was blind. Yes at
that. No, it's more than that. More, it's more. Yeah,
it's because what commons my favorite common line is it doesn't take all day
to recognize sunshine does. As soon as you open your eyes, you should
realize that it's that it's the sun is out. And if you cannot,
if you cannot see that, then there was something blocking you, And there
was something blocking me from committing I was in love with music, like I
didn't want to do anything to jeopardize my chances at being a musician. Even
though I didn't do everything I could to be a musician, one thing I
didn't do was have kids or commits to a woman. And I think I
used music as an excuse. But I think I was scared, and I
think that deep down, I think I was scared. I think, deep
down, what though um um missing out? I think missing out because being
in a relationship isn't ever never was never being praised as the thing to do.
It never was. It never was like a black man, get you
a black queen and just stay with her forever. Life would be easy.
It wasn't still technically not, because there's so many men and women that are
in a relationship, not just in relationship, but are married and still stepping
outside. So y'all, they're still not very much happy in that relationship.
They are happy, they are happy and they can be people. Because I
saw a clip and it was like boys should date and commit young, so
they understand what commitment is. If you go through your whole phase out of
high school, and you are a whole from sixteen till you get to till
you try to get in a relationship at thirty. You spent fucking fourteen years
being a whole and not committing and and running in and out of women's lives
or men's lives, and then you expect to be in the committed relationship.
You don't know what it's like to withstand the ugly. You don't know what
it's like to withstand days or you can't stand a motherfucker. You don't know
what it's like to be in a relationship. You don't know what you don't
know what commitment is is Like me, I never I had I had jobs.
I've only had one job that I did my absolute best at trying to
keep every other job. I was like, fuck this place, if y'all
fire me, fucked that. And I you and I treated relationships like that,
fuck this ship. If if you don't like me doing half ass to
work to get rid of me, then but you ain't get rid of me
then because because you need me, you know what I'm saying. So I
think I think I subconsciously treated people like that, not even just relationships,
just people like fuck it, I ain't gonna give you my all. And
if you if you don't want to deal with me then whatever. And I
think that it might be deep rooted from trauma where I felt like my family
didn't want me, or my father didn't want me, or my father's family
didn't want me. It might be in a thing where I feel like if
they don't want me, then nobody want me, so fuck it then,
And that's very irresponsible, and I feel like shit quiet has kept Nigga,
don't even have your kids date unless you send the motherfuckers to trauma because I
mean therapy because of the trauma. Because I don't want my son having to
deal with the trauma of you and your family that you play with your daughter.
You know what I'm saying, your daughter, and that's and that's unfair
for you to allow your daughter to walk around with that shit. You know
what I'm saying, same with me. But that's just me hindsight. As
I have a children, I'm like, what am I doing to in still
good qualities? And my son like how he talks to his mom and how
he treats his sisters as a direct reflection of how I talk to you.
So I'm very so, I'm very affectionate, I'm very I'm very mindful,
I'm very Hay, do you need anything. I love you. I'm very
vocal. I'm very affectionate because I want him to be that and I want
him to understand that that's how you communicate with women. And when my homeboys
come over, we're very vocal. We show each other that I love you,
bro, I'm very all of that. But jophas like, you know,
somebody, my sister, my sisters husband, niece had a daughter,
a kid. I don't know she had a son or a daughter, but
at fifteen and nobody batter than I. And I'm like, it's two thousand
and twenty. It was two twenty, then it's twenty, it's two thousand
and twenty. This should not still be a thing. Like we have all
of the techno, we have all of the information on the phone, we
have all of the condoms in the world. We all of this, But
your child, having your child, having a child while a child is a
direct reflection of you. Yea. And sometimes sometimes give me an instance other
than rape, where your fourteen and fifteen year old happy daughter is coming home
pregnant. So look, we we tend to put a lot on what our
children are doing on us. Um not speaking from experience because my son starts
seeing I go, yeah, let starting nah nah, let me let me
tell you this say. I listened to so many of my guy friends and
so many of like my brothers, talk about um when they started to have
sex, and they they're bragging about it. Like I don't think men quite
understand those of you who have has who started having sex at eight nine,
those of you who started no, no, no, no, it's real.
It's real, and to brag on it, and it's like, oh,
yeah, I was. I was nine years old crashing females that sixteen
seventy maybe you were raped. You weren't crashing anything. You were raped,
okay by all means, And y'all don't think of it that way because y'all
just excited that y'all got are so stupid. Yeah, y'all got bragging the
lights I was crashing sixteen seventeen year olds. You were being raped, baby,
teenager. I don't care if you were twelve or thirteen, and she's
sixteen. You were being raped, yeah, because you ain't got that much
at thirteen year olds mine. It's not on the same level as a sixteen
year old. Y'all. Y'all had no business. I wish to god I
would have been fucking at thirteen. No, but see not not even I'm
not. I wouldn't sucking a thirteen year old. It wasn't. I wasn't
thinking about that, right, It wasn't on my mind. It wasn't on
your mind. It wasn't. I had free it is around me that work,
right, And even then I will still be like, what are y'all
doing? Right? Because why? Because why what are you really getting at
thirteen? Fucking? What are you? What are you? What is it?
What they're not getting at home? But a lot of them were coming
from good home. So that's my thing, so it can't be. Yeah,
let's let's say, let's say that thought to you, right, because
when we say that our children are a reflection of us, and some instances
that is true. I think I take that back. My wife started having
sex young, but she was just a honey, little, a little bad
parents. Her parents are great, they had great they had. Yeah,
that's what I'm saying. It's not always on the parent because your reflection of
parent, No, your mom and dad. I have an amazing mother,
I have, My grandparents are amazing. I have thirty two thirty two years
of my life, I have not gone and I can't really say I've experienced
like real rough times to the point of where I never had or I wasn't
taken care of, or I didn't have someone to go to. My mom
and my grandparents, even my uncles went hard. We our family is tight,
hard in the paint. What the thing? I'm sorry, um,
but so any mistakes that I've made, it on you, it's on me.
My children's fathers aren't worth a damn. Neither of them I have too,
and neither of them are worth the damn. They ain't got shit to
do with my mama. They didn't got to do with my grandparents making bad
decisions me and my couchie. No for real, because I, like I
said, it's not that I was, So do you go ahead. I'm
sorry. I never experienced a hard life. So like the people I started
running with when I got in high school. Wait, so why are you
running with thugs? Let's get to it. The people, the people on
the east Side east Side for real. But the people I start running with,
like because there is no good part of the east Side. This it
is where me. Hello, I'm being dead serious. If you take away
Germans. If you take away German church, now, where is it?
Where it? Because even German churches, it's it's a lot going on.
German church. Now it's a niggas. Keep moving over there. Yeah,
because they letting out the niggas in they don't like the gds and the Dolly.
I chose who to hang with. You feel me. It wasn't because
because I was stupid. Ain't no other excuse for it. I was stupid.
I wanted to be Did anybody try to correct you? Absolutely? And
you didn't listen. Didn't listen. They don't listen. So many times,
Ma Mama was like the sad parties. I was fifteen sixteen running with um
co Red. It's so sad to a meet it today running with co Red
and I had that Um it was, um, you're not that much,
you're not we're almost the same age. Yeah, I'm thirty two, you're
thirty four. You're so close to forty. I still got time to get
there. I look, you do you look for her to be thirty six?
Lesten come out. I would have graduated in two thousand and nine,
but you got hell back. Nope, I got expelled, baby, I'm
probably yes, yes, what is um co Red is a family, an
organization. That's a family, it's an organization. We used to really say
that vice like co Red is a gang, and then we're like, no,
we're a family, We're an organization. Rico. We would yeah anyway,
But I chose that path, and had I not chose that path,
I wish. I don't even regret because I am who I am today because
of the mistakes I've made. Had I not made mistakes, I'll probably be
further in life. But but the people that I know, like you Andrea
Shanyay, I wouldn't know you guys. Had I not made my mistakes that
I made them, I wouldn't because I wouldn't even be out here. If
things would have went different, I would have been North. I would still
but we would but we would not be out here. We would be somewhere
else. Had I you know, so, things would have just been different.
But I can't say that's my mama's fault because my mama was on my
ass. Baby, My mama was on my ass. She wasn't selling me
to R Kelly, she wasn't playing them games. Since was on my ass.
But I was Still when did you have a whole phase? Of course,
um, My whole face started probably around I want to say, like
seventeen eighteen, hanging with co Red. I've never heard of cold before.
What was that was? That was that east side thing? It was to
school. No, that was a city thing. But they came from um,
they all majority of them came from Warren Central. They came from Warren
Township and branched off to like Lawrence North else where you go, I want
Lawrence ok And Um I did not know that. Yeah, I met because
I went to Lawrence North. But I met del Ron my freshman year.
Who was that my brother? Okay? Did you meet your baby daddy yet?
The first one? The first one? A lot of questions. I'm
gonna bring it all together. My baby daddy I met? He was so
you fucking your family? This is this way though I never he was never
my brother brother nothing. Del Ron was my don't wand is my big brother?
Okay? Jesse was my big brother. Lonnie was my big brother?
Was Lonnie and Jesse? Are? Did they died? Lonnie Um died in
two housand and eight. Jesse died in two husand and eleven. They got
cute yep, Um, Mike, I'm sorry, thank you, Michael,
I'm sorry. Mike Clue was my big brother. He's my big brother.
Don't rand Mike Clue big brothers DP big brothers. My baby daddy, oh
man, just stupid. Bu baby daddy was locked up with del Ron and
that's how I meant my baby daddy while he was in prison. So you
want to go visit him? No? We I'm saying, you want to
go visit your brother. No. So he was like, y'all got this,
homie, but we would do our collect calls. Um, bro,
well we were doing. Man, I'm gonna hole different person today, but
a whole different, a whole different. Bro. You you let a nigga
put a nigga on the phone on a pay phone to talk to you,
And he was like, oh, look you get out of there. Niggas.
No, no, no, no, Why don't women think like that.
So look, this is the thing. Me and my baby daddy were
never together. We never yeah no, no, no, like niggas.
That's another story for at the time. But anyway, I'm not just playing.
I don't know you. I'm just talking shit. I don't know you.
Please do not pull up on me. We ain't gonna pull up on
the body my baby daddy. Cool but no, so he was locked up
with de Ron and um we started to talk just on some cool shit like
not even was this was this after during? There was this after, there
was this during or after your whole face during Okay, So, like as
I said, we weren't even in that relationship we would and when we would
kick it, we wasn't kicking it on much about you. We weren't kicking
it like we were trying to date or like we were feeling the shop.
We weren't. We were kicking and we were smoking. We were drinking.
That's what we did when he got out. We would link up, smoke,
drink, not even be on No me and him type stuff that'st around.
Got we we got drunk. One might mast around April first comes,
I sent in the text, so look I'm gonna I'm gonna get you.
April first comes April fools. Right, you remember the Lollipop song by Little
Lane. You think I got dementia? I mean you sent you thirty six
three. I only know it. Remember he said, say sex late text
that I'm late text. Yeah exactly, I sent that to Wane, I
said, safe sex is grace sex. Should have used that late text because
here go that late text that I'm definitely late texts and the and I seen
him. Never want to stick my dick inside of a woman that used this
rap lyrics to tell me that she's having a baby. Never forget that tunny
Oh so yeah, that's how that happened. Now, never tried the family
we never I was nineteen, I was twenty one. I had my son,
but I was nineteen when I got pregnant. Never tried none of that
because I did, I wouldn't physically attracted to him, so so it wasn't
nothing like you know, no, we got this son, we all plus
the only fuck wants h did you come? I don't remember. That has
to be awful. Did your whole face stop when you had a son?
Um for while? Yeah? Six weeks? No? No? No,
no longer? Okay for a while? Um what triggered your whole face?
Did you ask me that? Right? For listeners, I I Brittany and
I have never had these kind of conversations, so never Sorry, I'm off
topic. This is the first episode, but I am finding out so much
about it. My good friend, So what triggered your whole face at seventeen
eighteen? Um? Interesting, do you remember? I know what triggered it?
Um did you tell me whether somebody died? Is that what you said?
No? No, no, I'm honestly something traumatic happened to me,
okay, and I started feeling like, um, well, if it's gonna
be taken without my consent, I'm gonna give it. I'm gonna I'm gonna
get it. So that is really what really, honestly triggered it, because
at the time I was feeling like I didn't matter. I felt like I
was you know nothing. You took it. I didn't even get a chance
to really like give it. I didn't have the option of given anyway.
It was taken. So at this point, did you shoot that person?
I don't want it? Have you seen that person? No? You have
not seen that person? No, never again, never again. But um,
don't indict yourself. I can't. I can't because I just know I've
never seen them again everything in life welcome to the east Side. But um
no, I just figured it wasn't I've never thought about I've never ever had
the thought of taking something from anybody. I've never understood that. I've never
really I I never even really played around like that. Like I had this
girl and I was fooling around and I was being really kinky. I was
a kinky bastard. And she was like, you are a pervert. And
I was like, hey, oh damn, if you call me that again,
that's serious. Oh, I said, if you call me that again,
I would never talk to you again in my life. She's like,
I was just I didn't mean it like that. I said, that word
means something that's crazy. Did I ever tell you that I got into it
with a female about Yeah, during the clubhouse ship when I was supposed to
be real. Yeah, I went off, baby. There are there are
opinions about it. It was a it was a dark phase that I was
in after uh Sierra and I had split, or during the time that we
had split, or whatever, where I was just down the dark, a
really dark path, and whoever I encountered, I just didn't give a fucking
and that and I don't. I wouldn't call that a whole phase. I
just didn't. I wasn't. I knew what motherfucker's wanted from me. There's
that. Now, if you got a good performance oute of me or not,
or how I talked to you. I know when women we will get
back to the to the whole face trigger. When women talk to me in
a certain kind of way, I guess, I guess I kind of equated
to when a man comes at you and and he lets it be known that
it's only one thing. All right, Well, I agree to this one
thing, but you're gonna do whatever the fuck it is that I want you
to do for this one thing. And if you and when you get it,
it might not be what you thought because I don't give a fuck,
all right, because you don't. You're looking at me like a piece of
meat. So sometimes you go to the grocery store and you get a piece
of chicken. Then you cook it and it's not good. So there's that.
But yeah, whoever you were talking to, whoever youre talking about,
they never said anything to me. But what they what they said, it's
probably I don't know, I don't know what they say. Can you never
said anything, But it wasn't worth repeating because um again, what I tell
anybody to know you and to know of you are two different things. Yeah,
people that know of me have a lot of opinions. But even people
that have encountered you and you may have held a conversation or you may have
had dealings, they still don't know you. They still technically just of you.
Yeah, so I could be a dick though, you can, but
I don't want to talk to you. I had a girl coming to me
at the club at Epic and come from behind. It was like you,
Keith, thank you. I remember you telling me about Tess. Yeah,
what's up? You're trying to fuck? What are you? Why are you
on me like this? Yeah? Back up? Yeah, I had a
girl grab my dick in the club. You're trying to fuck? Well,
you grab all right, but don't grab it if you ain't about to bite
it. So so you the phase was triggered by a traumatic experience? Yeah
did you? Did you ever enjoy it? If? If? If?
If you're if your first time was that dramatic? How did you? Um?
So it wasn't. Um I always wanted that, like if, how
do you go back to having sex after being It wasn't done to be in
joy um power. It was done to take my power back? If that
makes sense? Did it take my power back? No? No, but
that's how again I'm stupid and young. I don't know shit. Well,
it's not even that you that you can be stupid, but it's a very
common thing. Like I think a lot of niggas think like that. I
think a lot of niggas think like the more, the more, the more
I fucked, the more of um, more of a man I am.
They're like collecting women like pokemon. I never thought. I wonder if that's
really what it is. Niggas think niggas, it's easy. This is this,
it's so fucked up. But it's easy to be a hoe it.
It's extremely easy to be a hole. It's extremely difficult to not be one,
especially when you're attractive. If you ugly, you have no idea what
I'm talking about. If you're not desirable, you could be ugly and desirable.
If you're ugly and or undesirable, you have no idea. What it's
like to open up your app any app, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook,
Nigga, Snapchat, TikTok. People are throwing sexual innuendows at you all day,
all day. It's easy to say, Okay, let's meet up da
da da da, and fuck. It's very hard to have restraint and practice
restraint, and if you've never had to practice that, it's not it's not
something that you just automatically know how to do. So you can't get into
relationship with somebody you deem valuable and stop. That's why I say I don't
think that the man who cheat on their spouse don't love the spouse. Is
that I don't know how to. But you know, you can love and
still be unhappy. Because I love you does not mean I'm happy. And
that's what I said. I said, men that are married in relationships engaged
any of that unhappy. And you are stepping outside of that marriage with other
women and engage with other women, entertain other women, whatever the case might
be, you are unhappy. You can love your wife to the fullest,
you know. I think that you're unhappy. I think that unhappy because a
lot of men don't know how to find value in being of a man,
Because there the value in being a man comes from um uh self, self
gratification, from erase all that. The happiness that you get from a man
comes from handling responsibility, handling response. Like I had to stop drinking because
it would either make me want to fuck anything and it would keep me it
would make me sleep longer than I was supposed to. So one day I
woke up at like noon and Dorian wakes up at seven and this is when
he was This is during pandemic. After the pandemic, I was like,
oh, no, this is over because I put the responsibility on my wife
and no and whatever I got going on, I don't want to put that
on the back of her and my son. So now that this is over,
But the responsibility is that you had the joy comes from Okay, it's
my responsibility to provide a better life for this person, for this kid,
for my wife, for myself. And if if you if a man is
spending time fucking, he's not spending time getting money or reading or working out
or any of the responsibilities because you're avoiding the responsibility and that's why you're fucking.
But true a lot as far as nigga, I'm plenty of niggas that
I know a man right now that's married been married for over ten years.
That's not a long time. But let me finish, um makes good money,
provides for his family, I mean, and takes damn good care of
his family, and stepping out still steps out. So I don't step in.
But to me, to me, that's irresponsible, because nigga, you
could lose all of this exactly. But that's that's responsibility, your responsibility.
Yes, you're you're being irresponsible, and then shit can be your whole ship
can be fucked up. Like the power that niggas give women that they step
out with, that they like they unknowingly give this stranger power over their livelihood.
That's dangerous. I got a friend of dealing with a marry nigga right
now. They've been dealing with each other for about three years or so,
and he has a whole family wife out it. And if that one deal
is capable of providing for her too, while still provided for his family,
still provides and takes care of everything she needs, her and her kids and
her kids ain't even hear. Oh yeah, that nigga is a sucker.
Listen the thoughts, the thoughts, the thoughts of Brenda knocking on my door
and looking my wife in the face and saying, she said, can I
sweep to Barbara? Barbara? This is sure, bro. The thought of
that is terrifying, Bro, terrifying baby. But you see, and then
there's some marriages where they are open, and they haven't understanded that as long
as Brenda does not bring this doorbell and come to me as a woman.
But I can't, I can't. I can't put that. I can't put
that off on Brenda to not be mentally unstable or mentally stable enough to not
come, not come my motherfucking door. No, I'm cool. I would
much rather come over, like, hey, Sureley, move over, ciss
right our home, Come on kids. Yeah, if you're not down to
eat my wife's couchie, I'm not. I'm not doing it. Listen,
you gotta come over and eat, eat, and rub and scissors, so
your whole face get me started on couch eating situation? Why why not?
Did you started the whole the whole face, the whole face. Did your
princess motherfuck? Did your whole face include women too? Man? Oh,
you dig into day because I feel like I don't feel like you would have
I feel like that that power, that power exchange that you were trying to
do, you would have done it with a woman because you never felt that,
you never felt that, um that betrayal from a woman sexually, so
um so you probably you probably find more pleasure in women sexually because you don't
have that in the back of your mind. So look, um, I've
been in a relationship, one relationship with the woman with the female um while
I was a teenager. One relationship with teenagers years was crazy. They were
gang gang gang affiliated. I was with family Na, she was stood,
she was a stood. But look, this is what this is. I
told you, I'm a pillow princess. That's what my friends call me.
Okay, you know what I mean? Kind of what I mean. I
don't care. I don't care. It's like a pronoun. I don't really.
I couldn't go through the whole phase with the females because the females understood
where I was coming from, like we get each other. That made my
heart flutter. Oh my god. They under they did, they do,
Like hey, and I haven't dealt with a whole bunch of females. It's
not like I've dealt with overt. If you are a woman writer and it
can, it can write the experience that Brittany is talking about. Please contact
me because I would love to tell that. I would love to ea tell
that because I because when you said it, it made sense. Before you
said I never thought about it like that. But now they understand they we
we get, we get each other. It's just like when when we say
that females give better head than men, it's because females know what females want,
right, so that that is where that comes from. But um,
the females that I have dealt with, um, we connect on a deeper
level than sex, right, we connect mentally. Could I ever be in
a relationship whatever another female? No, want it, done it, But
we we have a have a connection because because y'all have the y'all have the
common denominator of niggas ain't shit. No, that's that's the thing though,
because not even that, just like the vulnerability that women can have what other
women. Yeah, it don't have nothing to do with feeling like a nigga
ain't shit because guess what all niggas are. No, they're not. They're
truly, truly not. I have some of the most amazing men ever.
My grandfather is the shit. Okay, the ship I hate one. Women
say I have no amazing man, name man, they can't date. But
I was about to say, my brother, you can't date him. The
ship exactly. And but but wise dating wise, I have want across some
really really good man and the tits going to attract some good man. Baby
better know it to know it, that vulnerabil whatever they are. So so
the the whole phase. That's very interesting because my whole phase was triggered by
the girl that I wanted to be with, not wanting to be with you.
No, Um, she loved me. Um life hit her. Um.
We were dating freshman year, no senior year. I had moved to
Atlanta and came back because the day school system was trash. So I was
going to LC from one to oh four and then I left, and then
I came back and went to Ben Davis, but I went to be I
was in Ben Davis district from third grade up until ninth grade. I'm sorry
to hear that, but gud um, but I went back to Bend Davis
and Um, this girl that I dated in eighth grade, we ended up
dating again the senior year, and I loved this girl like I didn't see
no other girl but this girl. I wanted to be with this girl.
I didn't care about nobody else but this girl. We ended up having sex
my mom my mom like like we She's lived in a corner from us my
mom liked her so much that my mom went to get her and she came
over to the house and spend the night. She let to spend the night
and everything. We had sex. We didn't really have sex because I pulled
it out some of my big touchdo coucie I came, but I had a
condom mom. But you know, she never made me feel bad about it
or nothing like that. And then senior year came, we were dating again
and she got she was raped by her family, one of her family members,
and I didn't know this at the time. She told me later.
But on Valentine's Day, I called her. I had I had caught a
bunch of shit and I was like, I'm about to come over, um,
but dropped this stuff off. She was like, why do you call
me every day? Why do you keep trying to talk to me? And
I was like, because I love you. She was like, uh some
some some some something and crushed me. So I called my female best friend.
I said, yo, let's go out to eat because she she was
dealing with a nigga that was trash. We went to Penn Station offer there
about a Blockbuster and club foods over there on the west Side, and I
gave her everything that I bought for this girl. I gave her everything that
I bought, bears, candies, cards, everything, and then she ended
up. She ended up apologizing and was like, Yo, when I graduating
six, I'm going to come to Clark, Atlanta and we're gonna be together.
So I wasn't fucking nobody in college. I wasn't doing shit. I
was waiting on this girl to come. So I summertime, I'm like,
I didn't even I didn't even process that it was time for her to come
down until I started seeing the new the new students. Because I stayed in
the campus where Georgia Tech stayed, Morehouse Spelled, everybody stayed some of everybody
stayed in my dorms. I'm staying all these new bitches from I'm like,
oh my goddie, it's fine. And I'm like, I know who I
want a call. I'm like, yo, where are you at? What
you mean? Where are you at? Like are you coming down here?
And she was like, oh, now I'm going to Vincens and uh blah
blah blah blah, and yeah, I don't think that we're gonna I don't
think that this is gonna be a thing. Oh and after that it was
over. But don't it hurt when you later? So when did you find
out what she had went through? And that was I found out and two
thousand and this has happened in two thousand and five and six. I found
out two and ten eleven, her sister called me. Her sister text me
and was like, yeah, you should come buy the house. We all
gonna be about the house in the neighborhood. I go over there and I
get out of the car and she had handprints on her neck. She yellow,
she had a handprint on her neck, and I was like, yeah,
what's that she did? She don't had a kid. She don't had
a kid, And I'm like, so I had to deal with that.
So I was like, Yo, what's what's going on. She's like,
oh um he um blacked out and he choked me, and I and I
ended up passing down better and were walking around the neighborhood that we grew up
and started dating. And I was just like, you know, I would
have never done that to you, right, Like I wanted to be like
we would have been married by now, Like you do know that, right?
She was like, yeah, I'm sorry, and I was like,
what happened? She was like, well, she had got pregnant when she
got raped. And I was like, why didn't you tell me? She
was like, I didn't know I could trust you like that, because you
know, after after that, everything she questioned, everything was questionableut for men.
So I was and I was no exception. You know what I'm saying.
I was no exception, and I was like damn. And then after
that, I was just like, well, how close can you be to
somebody if something like that can happen and then they don't trust you no more?
So then I was like, fuck it, I want my whole face.
Nigga was extended. Nigga put an extended clip on that bitch. But
seeing a woman that I loved so much that everybody that everybody know before I
got married, everybody knew that's the one you wanted to be with. And
then when we when everything all the smoke set up, all that, we
end up sucking around and it was just like, it's not even worth it.
It's not even it's not even And I see her now and like she's
her social media personality is who I always expected her to be. That she
just now became like recently. And I think that because of that situation,
I didn't really allow myself to really be silly around a woman like I like,
I like dancing, like wrapping, and like being goofy. I like,
I never really allowed myself to be that. And and and it's that
in conjunction with my father trauma, you know what I'm saying, like just
growing up feeling like they didn't want me, I wasn't good enough for them,
and didn't feeling like I wasn't good enough for her and that she didn't
want me. I was like, oh, okay, but see, ain't
it messed up? How you can be so close to someone and not know
nothing nothing. I'm like, nigga that And you know, I'm I'm out
of high school, so I'm sixteen, seventeen eighteen. I didn't fucking that
thought of that thought never even crossed my mind that my ace boom coom on
the other side of this phone is getting fucking raped by you know what I'm
saying, or choked or because shit. One of the other girls that I
really liked end up going to fucking prison because her baby daddy killed somebody and
just fled Detroit and came here. I'm like, so I'm going through it
over and over and over and over again. I'm like, damn't trying to
figure out be kind of females. I'm not attracting. But they all,
they were all it's it's not it's it's it's your situation. It's like they
come from a great home, great mom, great dad, all of this,
but who they thought they needed to be? Yeah, wasn't. I'm
like, bro, here, I am a square nigga. Nigga going to
school never. I never missed the day of school. Never. I'm like,
nigga, all this food is here and the beaches is here. I'm
not by to stay because cartoons don't come on until three thirty. Ain't no
internet. We ain't got no I ain't on internet. So nigga, you
can't watch nothing good until schools out unless you watching music videos. But my
untie, you would kill me if I'm my mom would killed me. So
I didn't. Really, it wouldn't need for me to skip school, you
know what I'm saying. Didn't want to need for me to smoke, drink.
Fuck, it wasn't need because I wasn't sucking a girl that I wanted
to So I was and I was scared too. Yeah, seeing for me,
I wanted to be Um. But see, both of our whole faces
was triggered by trauma. Yeah. So I don't want my I don't want
my kid to experience something to make them go on a rampage like that.
But you know, then other people, their whole phase isn't triggered by something
traumatic. It's just I don't think nobody wakes up and say him, let
me get my pussy to somebody. Somebody knew every Tuesday, you be surprised.
You right, I ain't got I don't have a coach. Listen.
But but all that to say too, Um, would I want my kids
to go through a whole phase, No, No, I would not.
Um would I want to pick out who my kids date or any of that.
No. What I want my kids to do is to learn on their
own. But also now that they always got me to fall on, meaning
if this relationship doesn't work out, that's okay. There's other things. I
think. I think that's the biggest. I think that's the biggest lesson.
Yeah, but it's hard because as a kid, as I remember me as
a teenager. I was hyper sensitive, like everything that they talk about three
three thousand, like social anxiety, hypersensitive, all of that shit. That
was me. Like my daddy was my daddy. I told my daddy,
I said, nigga, I just wanted you to be around like he was
like, yeah, I think you feel too much. You know what this
it's funny you say that because, um, my son is thirteen and him
and his dad are just now like really and I want to say it's not
even full yet, but they're really just starting to get to know each other
because to him, it was more important to be known than being a father.
So you was more so worried about bullshit and entertain the motherfuckers and all
that dumb shit. Yeah. But but but you're about to be you'd like
thirty seven something like that. So it takes me in so much longer to
grow up. But um, you know, for my son, because there
was no man around to teach us that it's cool to be responsible. Yeah.
But here's the thing though, too, Right, So your dad missed
out with you, right, Okay, you are not going to miss one
moment with Dorian. No, You're gonna make sure that you it don't matter
what it is, the crawling, the walking and talking, the fucking sports
audit, You're gonna be there, right. You don't give it them.
If he falls off his fucking bike, you want to be there right to
pick him back up. Right. So, when you experience not having your
father or not having your mother, that should not be an excuse to be
a poor father or mother to your children. You don't want your children to
experience what you experience right now. Me, I had my mother, I
had her full time. I had my grandparents full time. I had my
dad here and there. But I'm never I'm a good mother to my kids,
not because I had a good mother, just off the strength that I
love my kids. Not Donna want them to experience any hurt and paint now,
knowing that they will have to experience it. They're gonna have to,
that's a part of life. But they won't experience from me. My son
is in basketball and football. I can tell you I've probably both football and
basketball. I've probably missed one game of each. He's been playing football and
basketball since Kenny Garden. Yeah, I've probably missed one game of each.
The day that my grandma died. No, he had a game that night.
I put my girl in the teparties. I was at the hospital to
about three or four in the morning dealing with it. I didn't want to
go home because I knew that I have to go in and to be mommy,
I have to tell my kids what's going on. I have to explain
it to them. But I told my son when I got home. I
woke my son up and I told him what was going on, and I
asked him that he want to go to school. He said yes. I
asked him that he still want to play in this game. He said yes.
And from there I said, okay, well I'm going as hurt as
I am. I cried on the way to the game. I cried on
the way home from the game, but I said in them bleachers all four
quarters and cheered my son on. And when my friends were coming and hugging
me and telling me how they're sorry from my loss. I appreciated the sorryes,
and I appreciated the hugs at the game. But this is my focus
right now, so I don't want him. I go hard for them because
I just don't want them to experience to hurt or pain from mommy. They
can experience it from whoever else. But as long as I know Mommy gonna
pick yull up and we're gonna be good at the end of the day.
So the whole face stuff. No, I don't want him to go through
it, but I know it's a possibility that they may. Right, my
job is to be there, and you know, I think make sure that
I am aware of what's going on. And if that comes about, I
know I'm on my p's and ques with him. I ask him, are
you fucking He said no, when that time comes, because I know you
can't have this conversation. I asked his dad, I said, have you
had a conversation with him? Get about it? No, I said,
he's thirteen. You don't think you should have a conversation. His friends are
probably already doing it. But see, mine is so stuck into video game.
No basketball here. He's still plays the game. He had, spends
time in the game. He spends the weekends on the game. But during
the week it's it's basketball, it's football. Well right now, it's basketball
all about basketball for him. He's not focused. I mean, I'm sure
he has a girlfriend. Well he does. He has a girlfriend. But
when we talk about it. He tells me quick like, Hey, I
don't spend time trying to argue with females or none of that. This is
my focus. So when they try to take my focus away from it,
I'm done. I ain't nothing to talk about. I'm done. I'm worried
about basketball. I think that's where some of my admiration for you come is
that you're a single mom. But I wouldn't. You don't. Well,
let's let's let me be clear. None of the women that I keep around
me that are single moms act or look like single moms. So let's let's
let's put it like that. What does a single mom look like? What
does she act like? Oh? The term for me, single mother usually
comes with a negative connotation, but to me, it's just she's just a
mother. It's not a single mother. She has a she has a like
for me, my sister. When my brother in law wants to jail Nigga,
the village that she had come up at the motherfucking ground to support her,
I was like, and he was only in jib like a week.
If that, I was like, God, it made me feel good because
I couldn't be there in Atlanta, wooter and you know the amount of friends
that that came out. But y'all utilize the village around y'all, and y'all
are very aware of who y'all have a runing a kid. Why y'all got
a marina our kid? Who can teach your kid this and this, this
and that. Like the term single mom to me just like a lazy bitch
to me. And you don't give me though, like you always on the
go, go go, go, go go. And I really do appreciate
and I admire that because even for my wife, she ain't a single mom.
But I'd belave it. I'm tired. See, my brother taught me
one day. We were talking and he said something like, alumline, you're
not a single mother. I said, what am I? Brother? He
was like, you got a village? I said yeah, I said,
I got I do, I said, but shotting out their parents, right.
So while my kids know that it's nothing my mother wouldn't do, it's
nothing that my granny wouldn't do, my granddaddy, my uncle's aunts, my
mama's friends, my friends had stopped their whole world right and come beat by
my son at my daughter's side. My um Frank, Ebony and Mike never
missed. I think they missed maybe one game. Of course during schoolball.
They was there every step of the way. Yeah, that's how they are
though. And so my village is, my village is strong, my village
is tight. That the whole phase. We're gonna end this because at some
stuff to record. But the whole phase. You said no, I say
no. You say you don't want to do arrange dating. No, I
think I think for me, for me, do I what I want to
arrange? My son and the perfect world. I know the little girl that
I'm talking about, her mom's beautiful and her dad's very handsome. So the
likelihood of her growing up to be a battie. But it's not all about
looks. Wait wait wait, wait wait wait, I know I'm not I'm
not finished. She's gonna grow up to be a battie. And the way
that her mom and her older sister, her oldest is just like twelve.
They are so well put together, they are so nice. They're this,
this and that and that. Now my son needs to understand. This is
what I think niggas miss out on. You need to you need to learn
how to identify a good woman very quickly. And what makes up a good
woman to you? Now, if you're if you like your women, like
your mom, that helps you out, that boosts you up, that kisses
you on your knee when you fall, and that can make you your favorite
food, and do this, this and this. Then you have to be
able to do what her father provides to her. So if her mother and
her rather raise her right and we do a good job when they see they
might not date during school, they might not date during motherfucking college, they
might whatever. But the traits that I want to instill my son and the
traits that I know that they're instill in their daughter, because that's just who
they are. Bro, You don't I don't want my son having or my
kids. I don't want. I don't really care for the whole looking for
somebody to date things, the whole date. That shit is exhausting and it
can fuck up your your confidence, It can suck up it can suck up
your perception of yourself when you can't when you're given a given, a given,
and then people out here are being shitty and don't recognize the traits that
you have as a good person, or maybe like if you'll start to question
yourself like am I not enough? Am I not doing enough? And I
don't want I don't want her to experience that, all right, And I
don't want my son or my daughters to experience that because that shit doesn't just
stay with you during dating. You go to work and you question yourself,
You go to motherfucking church, question, question, question, every and I
don't want. If I could find a way to and instill great values in
my son now that it is my responsibility to do these things, I'm not
negating that, but if I could, if I could somehow help my son
realize that a whole phase and that dating shit, it's not all that it's
cracked up to be, then maybe he can make the right decision and and
do and go further in life than I did. Because I wasted a lot
of time. I wasted a lot of time with a lot of people.
And granted, I am who I am and I am where I am.
I don't tell you wasted time, but you still but did you walk away
from that time wasted with something learned? Now, how didn't you look at
because because Nigga, I could have nigga this area. What did you just
say about it. Son. This Eric has been this Eric since fucking school.
I've been doing the same thing since I was in school now to a
certain extent. But what you just sat here and said was you wasted so
much time all in the same breath and saying the things that you want to
instill into your son. So you went through what you went through, But
the men you are now and what you want your son to be. Nope,
you learned from that. Nope, you know where I learned it from
as soon as he came out of that vagina, and I had the responsibility
of making sure he didn't die. But you still learned something from him.
But you still learned something him. It was still it was still something learned
but you But the things you went through that led you to Sierra, you
would not be there had you not gone through other bullshit which leading to see
Erra, led to Dorian and now led to the girls. So I wanted
her since high school. So if I could have got her and high school,
I wouldn't have even went through none of that. That's what I'm saying.
I don't know that. I do know that, No, you don't,
I would have been I would have been perfect. You don't know that
I am. I'm almost perfect. That's another topic for another day. You
don't know that that's in it because we do. Got to record the whole
phase. No arranged marriage, no no, no, let him no,
let him, let them figure out who they want to be with, because
him and that girl couldn't grow up and be the best of friends. That
no, asolutely not No. Never fucked my best friend ever? And you
single still fuck them? No shit, I got the man, I'm married.
I ain't got him. No, that that man. Yeah, if
my son can never experience what I experience, we don't want to experience it.
But if they do experience it, we have gone through it, so
we are here too. There was there was that bitch named Ashley. Oh
Ashley's ain't shit. We dated and she broke up with me. See what
you do, nigga, I was in middle school, nigga nothing the fucking
angel. This bitch wrote up, wrote a mere note and I don't remember
what the note said. I do remember what video was hot. She broke
up with you through a note, But yeah, I was a note writing
motherfucker. Did you used to follow the notes or a gummy bit? What
are you talking about? Yeah, hold on, drop down new subject.
You talking about Jelpins talking about I had a whole shoebox full of shits.
Well, our kids gotta be on a phone. The whole shoebox full of
I ain't doing nothing. Just thought i'd write you a letter. Hold on,
drop down, new subject. This. Wow. We was cleaning out
my granddaddy and I'm gonna be done nothing this. But we were cleaning out
my grandparents garage wasn't back. And it's me Tracy, my mom. We're
cleaning up the garage and Tracy comes across this box and would I say this?
Nigga opened up the box and letters just coming out. That's how mym
was high school. I said, they don't know why you was that bored.
Then I thought, I said, we really Maybe Tracy had well over
one hundred notes, letters and what was doing year? Then it's me.
I opened up my box. Guess what was in my box? Drugs?
No them, jail letters from me and my brother to Jesse from Brittany,
O three six listen to del Ron from Brittany from Delle Ron to Brittain.
Listen, I would have beat My daughter asked if my daughter got prison,
prison, prison, fan mail. I was back to Ashley. We was
on the steps with Hall passing and now I'm done. We're going we were
we up, We're going upstairs, packed full of motherfucker buck us and I'm
like, yo, what I always wondered those why are you break with me?
Because I thought it was cool when she came through playing ray Jack.
If I had one wish, that's all even out, then that's all came
after. But no, no, I wasn't even dedicating songs a bitious but
I actually kept asking, and she was like, because you ugly in front
of everybody where is actually so I could be her ass. I don't even
want to say her name, Ashley. When I see you, it's but
she mixed. If you don't even, I don't listened. She mixed with
more white than melitant melone me. She's mixed with more white than melanine.
So she ain't looking the best. She almost forty two, as she's almost
forty as well, and you can tell, damn Daniel, God did hey
stop playing? God did look at and was the best? She probably single
too. I don't know, I just got divorced. I don't know.
Yeah, we out. I don't even know what I was talking about,
but yeah, nojo phase and nor arranged or nor ranged uh dating. All
right, We're about to record Fake Love and it is very ghetto. Yes,
love it, but it's gonna be fire. Yeah, it's gonna be
fire. I'll do what I do, all right. Thanks for talking with
me, Brittany, and thank y'all for listening always. One more time,
who's your best friend? Um, Brittany? All right, that's what I'd
like to hear.