This episode brought to you by base Camp. When you use base Camp to
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com. Two men at a Time machine went back to October to claim all
that was lost. These are their stories, which are actually your stories.
Everybody, welcome to their stories, your stories. Oh man, I'm Dave
Stecco and David Floria. This is a blurry photos mail bag supplemental. So
if you are new to the podcast, this may or may I'd interest you.
I think it will. We make it fun. If you are nude
to the podcast, it may or may not interest me. I pre guarantee
my interest. Yeah, so if you are not familiar this, we're bad
at reading. We try to read all the emails, but we can never
get around to it fast enough. So this is to catch us up,
and we will be caught up, that's right, and then we'll probably try
to stay caught up, which we've we've said every time. Right. Well,
yeah, but think of the mail as a pokeman. Huh, do
you have to catch them all? Yeah, we do have to catch them
all. You're right. A pokemon Predator listener mail, I choose you.
I'm gonna take this moment to give. Don't you know what we should do
is we should take some pictures of our recording area, which I feel like
maybe we did, but maybe we didn't. I should probably clean it up
in that case. Yeah, we've got a pretty legitimate set up here.
I've got an overstuffed it's a quote unquote camping chair. It's like forty pounds.
No, no one could ever camp with his chair. It's like a
Barca lounger. That's that folds up. But more importantly is Flora's mic stand,
which is on loan from Steven Tyler. It's got it's got like a
fine I don't know's there's pseudo silk probably. Yeah, they look like pandyhose,
little little bandana shawl things tied to it. Uh. We've got our
what we call our finger danglers. These are our our plaster casts of fingers
attached to string that we got from Goat Girl, as well as a genital
Christmas decorations. It's like two two ornament balls and then one ornament shaft all
attached together, which are awesome. That's all right, Flora's got a crampas,
yeah, walnut crampas. And he got me a crumpus at Christie Kendilmartin
this year. So I don't have anything else online but my hat. I
always stick my hat on the other side and then the head out there.
But yeah, there you go. I don't know. There's a little mental
picture for you of our mics. Yeah, UM's not wearing pants. He
never wears pants. The thing ever, that's why I have to wail on
his junk all the time because I'm tired of seeing it. I'm hoping he'll
cover it with something protective. I'm just trying to change the color. Cool.
One time he got like just a clear loose sight cup and that was
awful. That's just the worst visual loose sight. Yeah. Wow, So
we're gonna we're gonna do listener mail. Huh, let's let's do it.
You know what, I changed my mind. Let's just do that musical that
we've written. All right, Nah, listener Mail. It is listener Mail
without fail except for all the failures that have led to this. Who wants
to start me? Oh, we'll go ahead. We're gonna kick it off
with easily easily our most prolific Facebook fan hands down. There's there's no one
coming. I mean, I guess drunk Satan Robot, he's pretty pretty hot
on the handle for Facebook. But nobody beats Amy. Nobody beats Amy.
As a fact, Amy's great. Yeah, Amy rights. Regarding prizes of
rewards for pledging support to the show, Oh yeah, Paton, Yeah,
Paton, what if we didn't we did. We finally did our episode on
z Eostrianism, which we have often talked about that we just didn't do it.
You would know that people listening to it are real fans, so you
could let it be more like a lecture and less like the auditory and intellectual
carnival that is blurry photos. I gotta tell you, I feel like it
would be more of a carnival. That's what I was kind of thinking myself,
Like, Yeah, I think we could get away with a lot more
shenanigans if it's somebody who wants to hear us. Yeah, and I maybe
maybe people giving us more credit than we deserve. Let me like, we
put effort into making sure we have factual information in each episode, with the
exception of like the intros, which are more or less invented ten minutes before
we record them. I think the only things we actually do in advance are
the songs. Yeah, well writing anyway, that's what I mean. Yeah,
we have to write those, but yeah, you know, like we
write the songs in advance. But actually the easy part is the carnival part.
We just make that shut up as we go. There's no planning there.
So I feel like the less can bound we are, the less constrained
we are by our usual standards, the needle will not shift towards a more
standard presentation, it will go further afield in that scenario, Like I think,
yeah, and maybe we could try it. I don't I it might
like I feel like, if it is contrary to what so many reviews and
YouTube compent say, I feel like, if we just did the facts,
there's there's no shortage of places you can get those things right. Absolutely.
I do think we've narrowed down quite a few of the patreoned rewards there,
you know, Yeah, there are there are things I think that we have
decided upon that there will be easy to give to you guys to give back
with. And one of them would maybe be a once a month live show
where we either do a reading of stories, you know, some silly scary
stories, or we'll do something but but have like a Google hangout or something
where people can chat in, right, you know, something interactive. Yeah,
we can interact live with people. We're kind of trying to suss out
what the best way to do that is. But something of that nature,
something like that would be one of them. And you know, maybe some
of our music. Somebody had mentioned packaging up some of our music and but
so yeah, if you guys still have ideas, please keep syndical, man,
tell us what you guys want. That makes it super easy and we
don't have to guess for real, like Christmas, just make a list and
send it to me. I'll send you a gift card. We'll check and
no to your nis. What else does Amy say? She says that the
Lovecraft episode was fun. Hey, um, she writes, I'll probably never
be a fan. Why did they go mad so easily? I'd try every
day? Keep in mind that like at least some of these people were like
already addicted to heroin, you know, like they'd done but the best they
could to prep themselves for the experience. But you guys did a great job
maybe read the first chapter of The King in the Yellow next time. Oh,
I don't know very much about that. I know that it was kind
of like the underpinning mythology to that was the first season of True True Detectives.
Yeah, I don't know very much about that, but yeah, Amy
also has a mundane super a not so superpower. Yeah how about extrasensory dirception,
the ability to read minds and see the future. But you look like
a real dork while doing it. I yes, I accept, because then
no one would be intimidated by you. Yeah. Yeah, they'd be like
I could always just throw a hood on, Yeah, get under the covers
and do it or something. Yeah, I wouldn't want to look like an
idiot, So what I do is hide under a blanket most of the time.
Thanks Amy, Thank you Amy. Dave. We've heard from Daniel J.
Whoa. This guy sounds wild. I think he is. He says
hello, chaps, how do hello? I've been listened for a few months.
It is recommended by the crom Cast once again, big thanks to the
crop. We got to send those guys a check. I was going to
say box of chocolates, but now now we've committed ourselves said, he had
a sad lunch break, and as he was walking back, he started playing
the Cryptobotany episode, and your discussion of the meaning of Christmas was both very
appropriate and enough to put him back in a good mood to face the rest
of the day. So thanks for that. Oh sweet, I barely remember
that, rant, I barely remember that key that we sang in. Yeah,
or well it was it was more like a key chain. Yeah.
I think there was a lot of them jangling together. He's got a good
show suggestion, and then he said it would not be right for him to
leave us without attempting a little bit of punage. He shares this he had
a recent realization that Tibnaku would be a great holiday spot for one spring hilled
Jack, since I'm sure he would be delighted to visit both Lake Titty Grabba
and the Kappa Fila Peninsula. Yes he would. I'm surprised he doesn't live
there now. I heard says so many stories. It's just really cold.
He just passes out, says keep out of the good work, looks forward
to working the rest of the way through the show. And also he says,
ps, if you're curious I'm a Yorkshireman who somehow much more on the
Firth side of the Vandyke Firth Vandyke skill. Oh you know what. Thank
you, Daniel. First of all, thank you for writing someone uh someone
had commented at some point like you did a horrible Yorkshire accent for a Robin
Hood episode. I gotta I gotta tell you we didn't attempt a Yorkshire accent,
right, I don't. I don't know what we're not. We're not
so sure you know what. We could look it up and yeah, we're
pretty pretty an American. So it's like I know Cockney and then I know
various levels of refinement. Yeah, but like and I know, and there's
actually an amazing and I don't. I couldn't. I'm sure you could search
for it. Like some teenage kid did this YouTube video where he goes through
and does every regional accent in the British aisles. Wow, it's amazing,
like Yorkshire, Manchester and you can hear the difference. Yeah, I'll never
like ay be aware of them or but this kid is awesome. Wow.
It's like it's like a five minute primer on everything you'd ever need to know
to do every British accent. I bet it's a little the same with American
accents, because you've got your Southern, you've got your Midwest, you've got
your Boston yeah accent. But keep in mind how big England is and how
how much the accent changes over very small amounts of just I mean, like,
you know, there's the conceit of my fair lady, is that Professor
Higgins can tell you what neighborhood you live in based on your your diction.
I'm just saying to us, and yeah, we hear an American accent,
we could, we could place it, just like to them they hear a
Yorkshire accent. They're from London, you know. Yeah, I think,
yeah, I think like we get we can do Cockney and everyone else can
do like playingy Texan, you know, like like everyone's like, oh,
there's English, and then there's how do y'all? You know, like like
my one of my professors in college used to do when he would try to
do when he would try to make fun of me, he would do just
the most stereotypical texts and accent. Yeah that's what I mean. I'm like,
dude, I do not sound like that, right, So anyways,
Well, yeah, we maybe we'll maybe we'll attempt a Yorkshire accent for real
someday. Although if we try to act like Daniel, we wouldn't sound like
that apparently, so I guess, wow, well we just try inception.
Yeah, thanks Daniel, Yeah, thanks Daniel. The one man I got
one from? Uh Antonio is it if? If it's from I'll tell you
what. It's a real doozy. It's a real doozy of a last name.
And he writes, just listen to your show on Alisa Lamb and like
Alisa, I'm bipolar and I have a unique perspective. But perspective on such
a case good uh and this is great? Um. Yeah, Antonio doesn't
do a lot of really interesting details about what it's like to uh, you
know, to live with bipolar disorder. It's something that that Dave and I
can't comment on. So right, yeah, we don't have a clue.
Um, so a couple of really interesting things, uh. He says.
Alisa was more than likely having a manic episode when she chose to go on
the trip. It seems poorly timed and planned, as she gets to La
with so little money that she's living in a skid Row Hotel for the proof
of her being in a manic state. About is about the forty five minute
mark. We talk about losing a friend's cell phone after she lost her own
phone, and then all the hashtags and all like that, and he writes
the hashtag she wrote is a classic bipolar talk, rapid emotional switches and not
very coherent. If she was having a manic episode, it would explain the
elevator in two ways. One everyone knows about the classic bipolar traits ups and
downs and emotions, risk behaviors, and financial, romantic and other aspects of
life. But what is often not known is that bipolar can also affect how
you physically move, just as how Elisa was moving. And if you take
into consideration the elevator was in a dilapidated building on skid Row, you can
figure that it's not that well maintained. Could be that the electronic eye that
closes the door was on the fritz and Elisa was trying to close the door.
Maybe it didn't seem that way, but but that's the thing out,
you know, And her disorder is causing the oddity in both how she goes
about it and the way she moves. Oh, so there you go.
Yeah. Yeah. The second is that the medications she was on would cause
the same odd motions if she went off them without tapering off going cold turkey,
which someone in a manic state would do. Yeah. So he goes
on to kind of discuss some of the other things about, um, you
know, theories about how bipolar would work into her behavior to set the decision
to get into the tank and things like that. You know, I just
wanted to write to kind of help demystify some of the aspects of mental illness
and to kind of really get into the nuts and bolts and say like,
well, you know, these behaviors, these you know, this particularly disorder
can affect people in these ways. And that's awesome. Yeah. I think
that's awesome. Yeah, thank you so much for writing that in because I
think it's um you know, as he writes here, having a mental illness
is tough enough without having to worry about a forced exorcism, you know,
some kind of supernatural force here exactly. So that's awesome. Great to get
another perspective on that. Yeah, so thank you, Thank you so much,
Aunt Antonio. And also, oh I got a ps here the little
shop of horrce spoof on the on the cryptobotany episode was the funniest bit I
ever heard on podcast anywhere for that matter. So wo well, thank you
for that. Yeah, thanks Antonio. Sorry what were you saying, flor
Well, I was I was going to say, I appreciate his input on
the hashtag thing. I have an opinion that comes from a different place,
since you and I do comedy, a dark, hateful, very dark,
disturbing, dusty, dank meme place. But like you and I, you
and I come from comedy. We have a lot of friends in the comedy
scene, especially here in Chicago. I have seen that sort of use of
hashtags as a joke, and not not just our friends in Chicago, but
sort of on a larger scale when you do the short, choppy kind of
sentences but it's all in a hashtag. I think I've even tried some of
that with some of our Twitter post when there's room for it. But we
see it sometimes as a form of a joke. Yeah, it's it's a
it's a type of humor that is used now in social media, and not
everybody does it, and not everybody can do it. Yeah, there's that
like hashtag sorry, hashtag sorry, I'm not sorry, hashtag starting to feel
sorry? You know, yeah, like that La black hashtag if you really
knew me, you knew I I'm really sorry, but not sorry. Hashtag
you know, like yeah, yeah exactly, and then hashtag and then the
word hashtag yeah yeah exactly. So like I think in the in the younger
generations that that are coming out than live in the social media, you know
there, they're always coming out with those new generations. Well, I'm talking
about the ones that are on my lawn, the ones I keep telling to
get there with. You know, they don't even have the decency to have
a boom box. I don't even know what to complain about. But with
the social media how it is and everything, that's sort of evolving, so
I I see it from that angle as well. I I'm not saying at
all that what Antonio said was doesn't play into it, but we have seen
it with people that I'm pretty sure are not bipolar. So there's there's also
that that kind of angle, just specifically for the hashtags. I'm not talking
about anything else, but it's just something that I think you and I one
of the few things we have experience with we can comment on with that story.
Yeah, very true. But I'm very glad to get that that side
of it from someone who lives with that kind of thing. So thanks again,
Antonio. Dave, we've heard from you are. I thought it was
like you are an asshole. I thought that's what you're gonna call me a
dick or something. Nope, Nope, just actually someone named Hugh who says
greetings Dave and David, greetings Hello, says, really appreciate all the work
we put into making the show, and we thank you for that. He's
got an idea for Patreon, because when we ask for it, you know
what we could throw hit me. So he says, is there any chance
you might make an album of some of your show intros? Oh, in
particular episode fifty six, the Sleepy Hollow episode, the Raven intro is one
that really stands out as a personal favorite for him, So he thinks that
he thinks if we did something like that, that might be a good thing
to offer. That's a great idea, Actually, I I we should put
some of our intros on there, like our great our favorite ones. I
mean, because let's be honest, they're not they're not all winners. They're
not all. They're totally not. But you know, we could do an
album of just the music, and we could do like a best of intros
kind of thing or something. I don't know, because yeah, you know,
like we've got our favorites. I know in our mind. I don't
necessarily think it's the funniest one we've done, but I think are one of
our when when when we sit down to like make an intro, I think
our gold standard is the Six Hags Cryptic Kingdom, the first one of those
that we did, because because that one, you know, it's like it's
tight for time, it's dense, the jokes are great jokes, well you
know they're there, But yeah, we like that one. I think puns
per second, Yeah, puns per second is super high. I loved El
Dorito Snacks. Yeah, A Raven with the Gremlin. Yeah, the title,
but it was a parody of the Raven the Poe poem. So that's
that's one of my personal favorites too. I think, what, what do
you think your favorite intro is? FLOORA well of all time, I'm there.
I'm horrible at these questions that like I can't go out of your head.
Yeah, I can't think of anything in the moment, and then I'll
look back and say, well, I said this, but I really like
this one. So I don't know if I could say, but I do
like the Gremlin one a lot. I know we were happy with the G
I. Joe Ones did. Yeah, the G I Joe one is one
of my favorite. That's that's really up there. I like actually it was
one of our first because for me, we'll listen to the podcast for a
long time, like intros didn't really start to be a thing until like into
the second season I think into it. Yeah, yeah, it was right
around it was the summertime because I remember the first Revolutionary War. Revolutionary Wars
was the first one, and that's actually one of my all time favorites.
The Tractor Pull. Yeah, yeah, the podcast podcast podcasts, but we
we sort of were doing kind of organic openings yeah before that, and we
just decided to be like, let's let's do these formally. Can they get
into a thing. But yeah, that's a good idea. Well we'll pick
our our our greatest hits and put that together. I like that a lot.
Great. Thank you, Hugh. Thanks you Hugh are great. You
and we are grateful. Oh Jesus, we got a we got a great
email from Alex and he and he writes, gents, yes, that's us.
Absolutely awesome show. So very glad that I stumbled headlong into it.
I've made my way through some pretty solid portion of your catalog now between my
absurd commute. Oh he's he's local. Oh yeah, Pilson to Libertyville.
Oh wow, which means he gets like really really good tacos because there's no
better Mexican food in the city than Pilson. Oh yeah, yeah, that
is a liberty That's a jaunt. Yeah, that is a jount. Each
work day he works as an so he said, I have headphones and essentially
all day. Thus the entertainment offered up if not the appropriate, inappropriate laughter
outburst, you both cause it my otherwise silent cube Farm greatly enjoyed, much
obliged. M He's working on a theory regarding uh cryptic maybe Bigfoot in particular
encounters that he thinks that we will enjoy and appreciate having to do with traumatic
response in other very real worldly explanation aspects. I guess I guess that was
a teaser because he's moving off I like that keep the cards close to the
vest um. In the meantime, I've quit and put up on the Elisia
Lamb case. Okay, um, you can see where we're at in our
listener mill. Yeah. Yeah, we're working through it. Come on,
Gemma. My girlfriend and I both worked very good jobs in our quote unquote
respectable members of the public at large, but by and by we like to
cut loose at concerts. I feel like there's going to be an admission of
drug use in the immediate future of this story. Uh, it's it's our
treat to ourselves and as such, this tends to involves some things. Yeah,
I mean ingested to expound the enjoyment that much more. Cough cough.
Now. My girlfriend was at a festival just before meeting me, and a
fringe friend of her group joined them. She was like, she was a
girl on many many antidepressant medications, just like ms Lamb. That girl,
Uh rolled that night. Okay, I barely understand this. That means that
she was on e okay, on ecstasy. If you're rolling Jesus Christ,
rolling with homies, rolling with the homie, because's she's been a real because
I'm keep been a real, Keep real, because I'm keeping a real.
Um. Yeah, rolling, that's you're rolling when you're on e. Absolutely
everyone's life Molly nowadays. Aren't they on Molly nowadays? Uh, they're different
drugs, Dad, They're different drugs. It's all the same. Just you're
you're rolling with Molly. You're you're, you're, you're throwing it all away.
You want to get high, you get high on life. Get a
damn job, that'll get you high. That was that was coming home,
not having to work for the night. That'll get you getting a full night's
sleep. Get high on that. Your state. You want to know what
feels good. You want to know what tuphor you having your bills paid,
phone not ringing off the hook with collectors all night. Try damn house.
That's great. Did your parents ever give you the drug talk? No?
No, no, my my, My drug talk was this in its entirety.
Hey, I want to get high, you get high on life.
End of discussion was like, all right, well, I'm kind of a
giant nerd who hangs out at church all the time. I don't feel like
drugs are in the cards for me. If I needed them to save my
life, I couldn't get them anyway, moving on all right back to the
tail. So she was rolling with the homies, keeping it real, and
the interactions of that and her medications were terrifying. She was seeing things,
hearing voices, and was utterly paranoid and ultimately was terrified of being left alone.
And she also had crazy, crazy body movements. So he was saying,
you know, it wouldn't be at all surprised if if you know,
seeing this in someone else. He was like, Wow, this now I'm
now I'm dealing with this, and on a first hand basis, that's interesting.
Yeah, And he said the arm and hand movements are so dead on
for someone on e you know, like probably in her head, she looked
amazing. And then he also says that you know, things get very very
hot when you're on ecstasy, and that she could have been you know,
trying to cool off, trying to cool off. Um, you know,
he said, I know it's flimsy, but the behavior didn't seem possession esque
to me. Just too many drugs. So a couple of yeah, there's
you know, there's a lot of very reasonable explanations. Oh yeah, I
think that's kind of what we landed on, too, kind of reaction with
not me. I was going with the possession, but uh, you tell
me I'm a liar. I guess from the research. You know, we
we we didn't know if she went out and partied or whatever, or we
I think we even mentioned there was the possibile like maybe somebody slipped or something.
You know, you never know. Yeah, but uh yeah, and
I think I would have to still lean towards there's you know, a mixture
of drugs that's maybe something is is prescription, maybe something direct creational and never
the two sham meat. Yeah. Yeah, it's just a bad interaction.
So he uh sends us off with a few puns. There was an oil
baron in America who'd been acting very strange with a history of illicit substance use,
and there was a real worry that he was smoking frack. It's an
oil baron. It's making still better than those slimy eats who are very slow,
who who very slowly tried to conquer the beaches, the sna aliens.
Yeah. You know, with all the race relation issues in this country,
with the cops and the people, you'd think that they'd bring in a good
talker, someone who can spin a good yarn, you know, maybe Officer
Edgar Allen po po the officer. Thank you so much, Thank you,
Alex. Yes, Alex, when we get our live venue set up,
you'll have to come and see it. Yes you will, because your local
son. We'll probably be closer than Liberty fail. Yeah, bring us,
bring us some Alps store man, well marinated pork. Son. We've heard
from Jake Jake Busey. No, did I say it like Jake here the
teeth. You can't blame Jake for his dad. Although did you know there's
another busy kid o and um he he won't ever go by his first name.
He just goes by his first initial. Hey, yeah, no,
because it's not Jake Busey. There is like another abusey kid who you can
see it in his face. But he's like this pretty big cat. This
guy's like rocking like three three fifty pounds and he's like a reporter for playboys.
I guess they're online whatever. Remember I mentioned in a previous episode that
I spend a bunch of time watch videos about juggalos. Oh yeah, um
he he was like doing like a little brief documentary about the gathering of the
Juggalos this dude is covered in tattoos. I mean, he he was the
perfect guy to send it. He just blended in seamlessly. But I was
like, Jesus, there there's like, there's a lot of busy's out there,
man. Jake says, just discovered the podcast and loves it. He
listens to it while drawing or you know, playing the Vigia Sweet. He
liked the Hendrikaifek episode and he says, he says, we said something to
the fact of this would be a horrifying book. Nobody should do this,
so he's gonna do it. Yes, that is exactly the kind of people
I like listening to this podcast. Oh really, tell me what else I
can't do it? Jack booted e thugs audio thugs. Yeah. He says,
if I wrote a small snippet this, would you guys like to read
it? And if we liked it, he would try to make it longer.
So sure, yeah, send it. Send something in, Jake,
Well, we'll take a gander at it. We're I promise we're totally literate,
mostly almost completely mostly leer it sometimes. Thank you Jake. Yeah.
Oh yes, h finally we're getting we're getting to some real nitty gritty.
Here we got an email from uh Drawzuka draws Zuka. He writes, on
the contest of pick flores tattoo, I suggest a chrono knots logo, which
I'd be happy to draw for you. Oh wow, the reference of my
art skills he's got on Twitter and what do you want to check it out?
It's at draw Zuka spelled just like it sounds. He did a satyr
and alternately that the goat woman tattoo would look pretty baller as a tramp stamp.
Oh did you do the female? He's not here. He won't answer
you. I would love to see it. I would love to see a
chrono knots logo. But keep in mind Less Masterson is the fighter pilot.
No Ace Ace fighter pilot and Ace pilot fighter. Yeah, one of us
brink Man parts was the Ace fighter pilot. Okay, Less Masterdens is the
pilot fighter. Yeah, you know it's it's such a brilliant program to create
a unit of men trained just to fight the pilots. Why why bring the
planes into it? Get them before they get to the planes. Hang out
that all the volleyball courts. Yeah yeah, draws Zuka was the one who
did the kick ass female sader and tweeted it to us. Show me.
Oh sure I didn't see this. This is awesome. Yeah, it's fun.
I'd love to see a Crononots logo. I haven't even gotten that far
in thinking about it. Yeah, that's a good point. I barely made
it past h making coronaut legos. Everybody checked that out, draws Zuka be
impressed. Love to see crona Nuts logo. Yeah, I'm down. He's
got He also hits us up with some mundane superpowers. Oh yes, give
it to me. How about the ability to cure yourself of any sickness,
illness or disease that includes hangovers and any anything that shows up on Oregon Trail
but every time and anything else that could show up on potentially say the Oregon
Trail, but every time you use the power, you take five years off
your life. I mean, you've got to be real ill to want to
cure it, you know, it couldn't just be Oh I've got a sniffle
right. Yeah. Oh, and he's got one last little post it note
here. When we were talking about Smedley Butler, we mentioned in that him
being the highest decorated marine, which he was until he died, but was
then superseded by the the highest decorated marine in history, Chesty Puller, because
draw Zuka is a former marine and so he knows that's right. He also
knows to say good night, Chesty wherever you are. Huh So, yeah,
Chesti Puller. You know, sounds like a fake name, but that
guys like I was a bad motherfucker. You have to be bad motherfucker to
pull that name off. Yeah, I mean it sounds I meant here.
Chesti Puller is a chrono knot. He probably is from the year thirty seven
hundred and came back and was like, I like it around here. I'm
staying Yeah, Oh I'm colonel. That's right. Awesome. Thank you so
much, draw Zuka Zuka for blasting us with your talent. Dave, we've
heard back from James the Skeptical Oki. Oh my goodness, good friend James
who who had me on his podcast. Oh yes, yes, yes,
sorry I couldn't make it on there, and that would be the Unseen Podcast.
Yes, yes, yes, I listened to it. I'm so sorry
I couldn't. That night and Flora got to hog all the glory you gig
do you damn glory hog? I'm a glory hog, he says. Just
for the hell of it, thought you guys might like a big foot high
ku oh here we go. Yeah, large, hairy and unknown alien man,
beast or something else. Bigfoot needs to shave, does need to shave?
Get a job? You're damned hippie. He's also got some tattoo suggest
your home. Oh sweet, that's Flora gonna get a tattoo of it's it's
been so long. Oh yeah, no, Flora has to get a tattoo
when we if we get a thousand likes by the time we do our drunken
episode, that's that was the deal. I don't remember if that was the
deal, but that's the deal. Now that was I no, no,
just because well, no matter, dude, do you not want this podcast
to be successful? One of them is I suppose some people believe that the
words oh nice, or perhaps can can he get that above his uh,
his front parts? He's got one of those things coming up. The next
one is proof or gtfo nice, here's the here's the one that you require?
Did huh? Placebo? And then a down arrow. Yeah, yeah,
he's back. Or I want to believe, And there's a silhouette of
Bigfoot and then under that, but I need proof. I want I want
you to I want to believe. As a trap stamp. One more,
he says, how about a sleeve with all the cryptids we've covered? Left
a right arm my choice. Ah, that'd be awesome, that might be
that might actually be a cool one if you had the right person. Yeah,
you got a cool artist. And just yeah did a did a whole
sleeve of cryptids? Oh man, and then like a knuckle tattoos. So
when all four knuckles are out, it says, miyamyamio, thank you,
James, Yeah, thanks James. How about the most evil concentrated piece of
rock in the entire fountain, the evil pebble? Who yeah? Oh right,
hey guys, you're you're handles. Since I have no friends, I'm
declaring you are my best friends. Okay, so lonely I accept. But
now I'm mad because you didn't send us anything for our birthdays. Well,
I mean, if we're best friends, dude released a card. It says,
thanks for making my days tolerable. I found you guys on the Voyage
episode when I was knocking around on the iTunes a few weeks ago, and
now I'm hooked awesome, nice. I wanted to tell you a story from
my childhood. When I was a kid growing up in Texas, I would
tell my parents about the aliens visiting me Yich. I called them the pancake
aliens. For the longest time, I thought I was just having cool dreams
about aliens that played basketball with my brain and would teach me about geography,
which I have since made a career of, since they were tall from a
kid's perspective, with flat heads that to a six year old would seem very
much like a pancake. Well, in recent years, after I left the
Army, I had really vivid dreams of the same things that terrified me.
I don't know if it's just a resurgence for my imagination or what. I
tend to be skeptical, but I thought you guys might take interest there.
You are correct, correct, Yeah, that is weird, because yeah,
if if you had, you know, like, kids are so accepting of
strange inputs like that that if you had, I like the idea. It's
almost love crafty. And the idea is an adult having the dreams of a
six year old and being terrified. Oh man, right, you know,
like, yeah, that's that's pretty right. It there you go. Also,
what's up with a missing back catalog on iTunes? There are a lot
of missing and yeah, we unfortunately iTunes will only give us so much real
estate. And so, uh, if you want any of the previous episodes,
they're all on our website blurry photos dot org. You can download them
or you can stream them from the website. Um. So yeah, I'm
afraid that iTunes will only let us carry so many episodes at once. Here
here's the reason why I have to make the file sizes a little bigger to
keep the quality. Yeah, if if I made them smaller, we would
sound like yeah, and you might notice that some from some other podcasts kind
of sound kind of crappy. Kyl and Cam on Expanded Perspectives made a good
point. Maybe we're gonna say, yeah, Kyle and cam I expanded perspective,
it really sounds like no, no, they sound great. They were
just talking about it that episode that we were on, right, Uh,
they were they were talking about how there's so many podcasts and that audio quality
really becomes an issue, like it's it's it's a it's another thing that will
separate the wheat from the chaff. Yeah, exactly, So we try to
keep that as high as possible. But yes, all of our episodes are
on the website. So if you're ever looking for a fix from the back
catalog, blurry photos, dot orgy, set you up proper son yep,
and I'm up to like episode forty one or something on YouTube. If if
that's your bag, or just give us a call on the phone. We'll
just like just make up an episode on the fly and we'll just talk to
you about it. You know, if you call Flora, you can play
the role of Dave Stecco. Call me, you can be Dave Flora.
You know, we'll do that. Flora. What's your phone number? It's
five five five. Oh damn match. I'm not falling for that again anyway.
Thank you, evil Pebble. Thanks Pebble. Got an email from AAR
Foster A R. Foster Automatic Rifle Foster is his name, Yeah, yep,
and he he he doesn't there there's no semi auto here. He goes
full auto in this in this email, UM wanted to write and say thanks
for the laughs and let us know that he heard about us through the Chicago
podcast Cooperative. Hey it works so that, yeah, he writes, so
that really does work, and that those lovely ladies of candy chat have become
a part of my doctor prescribed podcasting diet. Yes, most doctors will not
prescribe that much candy. His first episode was Yokai and listen to it about
the same time that hinter Kaifek came out, and was absolutely hooked from that
point on, with the true crime ones like hinder Kaifek, Bloody Benders a
Lisa Lamb, and the Ghost Stories being some of his favorites. As someone
who's only recently gotten into the pun game, I was not expecting to the
podcast to have them, or that I would enjoy them as much as I
have. Yeah, we're always surprised that we enjoy puns too, because because
I feel like we shouldn't. It's like it's like a really stinky cheese.
You're like, oh, this is good man. Sometimes it be too stinky,
though. You ever get the ones that really have that that like open
cavern taste. Oh yeah, comes in through your nose, like the back
of your nose. It's like, hey, her jaw having a party.
Just thought I'd stop by Kim. Kim brought some cheese over last time she
was in town, and it was really good. It was like a really
like like kind of bree like cheese. And I called it fart in the
mouth cheese because it was like you enjoyed eating it and then it was just
like you had a fart in your mouth fart in the mouth cheese, and
still eat it fartmouth cheese. The hard part about coming up with puns after
listening to the podcast is that I can't tell what are my puns and what
are you and your listeners puns? Oh yeah, I get that, but
I feel like I've finally found some in that that are and I have hope
original actually nut garbage. A church in my hometown is finally instituted in a
much needed technological innovation. As the aging attendees to become more and more frail,
the ability for them to watch from home without having to risk the harsh
outside world has been a massive hit. I always knew that the church which
should get involved with his remote pewing. I used to work at a bookstore
until recently, and one of the books people are looking for Baby's first book
of anti establishmentism always pick up is Fight Club by Chuck Palinick. I look
forward to hearing your pronunciation of his name. Yeah about that, I just
rolled right through. It's it's pretty obvious that they just want to get it,
get it because they've seen the movie and they want to fight people without
really understanding what the book is about. Either way. I've talked to some
people and we've found a safe place for them to all hang out. We're
shopping some names around and the process has been difficult, but we finally settled
on the Lost Brawlony of Dumb and Broke Island. Wow, Yeah, how
about that? Can a right? That's the cheese. That's a fart in
your mouth? Is what that is. It's it's delicious and rich, but
then you're like someone fart in my mouth. Automatic Rifle also included a really
great story here that we might actually use in a future time, so we're
putting it on the side stack. And finally, a question for you and
I Flora. He read somewhere that are seemingly strange interest in fears in this
life reflected how we lived and died in our previous life. I've always had
a strange interest in death and dying. And they've always been afraid of knives
hitting bone. So if the theories to be believed, I was probably a
mortician in a previous life who was stabbed to death with a knife. I
feel like most everyone's afraid of knives hitting bone. I don't feel like that's
a terribly unique one. I know, I personally am not a Yeah,
it's in the bone the ball. Excuse me, your balls are showing you
know? Actually I always uh, and this is in the most random times.
This is a true thing. I have this image in my head of
rebar stuck through my left arm, like in three places. Wow. And
I don't know where it comes from. You you feel from something you had
to have fallen and gotten him paled on it. I'm guessing, Oh my
god, what if I was a bridge man over the Colorado something then I
fell and missed the concrete on the rebar and up my left arm. Then
they left me there because they're a bunch of dicks. I was a podcast.
You got a good Willie Nelson as a solid Willie Nelson. What about
your flora? No, I ain't scared nothing nice Uh No, I mean
I can't think of anything I I I'm okay with heights. Uh. Oh,
you know what, maybe I do have something. Sometimes I'll get the
sensation of falling, but I'm sure everybody does it at some point or there.
But when I when I drink a lot of bourbon, well when I
when I play a video game and my character will go off a cliff or
you know, or if you're going down the side of a mountain or there's
a big drop, you get that. In Minecraft, I get that mine
crag and my heart does a sort of like kind of jump or like a
flutter, you know what I mean. Yeah, I'm afraid of like VR
Minecraft. Oh yeah, that'd be weird. But I don't know if there's
anything you know, if that's something or if that's just something everybody gets.
But true, that's that's about it. Other than that a bunch of shot
up. I don't give no shots. Yeah, look at this badass Assault
rifle. Foster writes, keep up the great work, thanks for all the
laughs. And I know you don't like people apologizing for long emails, but
seriously, look at all the shit typed out. What a mess? Well
done, Assault Rifle. Yeah indeed, all right, uh, he writes,
r Foster, who believes that others should give nicknames because giving yourself one
is for squares. So true. Fully automatic Rifle Foster, thanks for writing.
Thank you, Dave. We've heard from Geno. Oh relatively new fan
found us through Alcoholywood. Oh sweet, So thanks to those guys. Loves
the show and as a Scott A Scott with a subscription to Scots Magazine,
as Scott Scott really like they I'm clearly I'm our episode actually been up to
the summit of Ben mcdoo before, on a day where there wasn't much Fog
felt pretty secure, but a woman they met on the walk swore she felt
something oppressive about the place. She said she didn't really think about that again
until she heard our episode, and you know, it was glad to hear
something that wasn't just Nessie out of Scotland. Yeah, and she'll finish with
a pun. She says, I'm not very good at them, but if
the Scottish gave up just because they weren't good at something, we wouldn't have
football teams. And then where else would we get our institutionalized racism and Catholic
Protestant rivalries church She blames sports I'm from a place called the Inner Hebrides,
from an island Oh bomba bom bomb Hebrides overture. It's a great one.
Flora knows about classical music from an island called Tire. In the Outer Hebrides,
there's also an island called the Isle of Lewis, and on it are
some pretty great pre Christian monuments. One of them is sort of like the
Scottish Stonehenge, the Calendish Stones. They just call it Steene Stenge. They're
somewhere in the ballpark of five thousand years old and whilst they form a circle
in the monument center, stones coming out from the circle form a big cross.
A couple days ago there was this horrible gust that blew through the Hebrides,
and the storm was so bad it actually blew some of the Colendish stones
over. Because they're in a cross shape, they all fell onto one another
like dominoes. Now they're all at an angle, still standing but leaning on
one another. So they've renamed them. Now they call them the fallen Ish
Stones. Ps. I've written a Scots magazine about the inclusion of a section
pending response. Hell yeah, it was it a I should It was a
there's a luster of the week Angus Mccimnana. That would be great. Len
No, all right, thank you, Jenno, Hey Flora. Yeah,
got an email here from Ay. It's that bloke again, that bloke again.
He writes, greetings from dand real greetings bloke. Yeah, he writes,
I'm not gonna sugarcoat this. You're Rosie. You're Rossie pronounced Aussie,
not Aussie accents, a territ bull and I'd like to offer some tips.
Oh here's the thing. From day one we have said how terrible those accents
are. Yeah, I don't know, and I think that we cannot do.
Yeah, this bloke is just agreeing, but he put some point in
here. This is good. Here we go, Here we go. Don't
pronounce unimportant vowels. What an Australian concept. You're wasting your time. You're
racing ten. Yeah, we're inherent lazy. So we'll shorten words of every
chance. Australia, Australia, Australia. That afternoon is r vovo avo.
What are you up to? Chop chop? See, this is the kind
of that Alan was saying to me that I could never understand. Chap,
John, you want to talk through your nose. Your mouth is is there
purely for the consumption of alcohol. Don't wear it out with talking. Never
answer a question with the answer, answer with what the answer is it?
Sometimes Hey, well you I'm not mad? No bad? No bad?
How big is it not? A huge? Not edge? Uh? Related
is the response yeah nah, which which means no, or now yeah,
which means yes now yeah nah. Could be anybody thing, so best changed
the subject to footy or beer. This is great. Yeah, more from
you, bloke. You're helping. Why aren't you writing a guide? Toss
to strike, also related as the insult versus familiarity tangent when greeting people,
basically call your mates at toole and your enemy's mate. No, I don't
know why, no one does. We just do it, Dave and I
do that too. Keep your allus close and your mates um so yeah,
I reckon. Those tips should help you out, but to be sure,
you should probably do an episode on ausy mysteries and or cryptids to really give
you a chance to practice the nuances. Until next time, keep up the
great work. Thank you very much. Hey it's that bloke again. Ah,
well, I mean we now yeah, we will Uh. Yeah,
but we won't not we won't. We could we could um yeah because we
did. Uh the bun yip. That was pretty great. But there are
there are so many more things. What else there? Um? Uh you
were in one one of the miscrypted Yeah, I was gonna say we had
then the MISCRYPTID. So yeah, we've got a few more. I would
love to do that because I you know me, that's an accent. I
love to butcher. So, thank you, thank you. That was a
great one we've heard from. Oh Jesus Cross it's the tap dancing kaiser all
right, all right, I got the car Hi Joshu jap tap kaisers outside
jap Ju stopped buying that piano. He'll harry you. He's up on that
flag pole like I don't want to know any party. You're damn dancing line.
You felt the old crowd. You come to my house, You're you
try, you're trying to steal whatever you want with your with your shiny dancing
shoes and shi spark on your hat. Well yea, what's what's what's what's
the what's a big idea? Har yeah yeah hahp me what that hell?
Many as Jimmy Stewart is stammer, it's funny. We were watching Wonderful Life
this this Christmas and it's just funny. The scene where he finally like him
and Mary like kiss oh, and it's just like me like shit shakes her
like he's like confessing his love, but he's also angry at her and he's
just screaming about all the he doesn't want right and he just he shakes the
hell out of her and then they just like put their necks on each other's
faces and stuff. Yeah, there's that type mouth like toothmash like Judge,
Judge, George. The guy's on the phone, like what's going on?
Yeah, Hey, so the tap Dan tap dance And Kaiser says, got
to the Black Eyed Kids episode. He said, he's grandpa fought in Europe
during World War Two. This might actually be a tap dance and Kaiser dude.
One day early in his deployment fame why my little brother was a war
hero. His squad had been pinned down in a building all day from sniper
fire. Their captain wasn't going to risk losing any men on the darkness,
so he decided to keep him there overnight. Said a company of Sherman's were
too far away to offer any assistant that's tanks, so they blocked off all
the windows and doors except for one. As his story goes, he was
pulling duty guarding the door when a light but persistent knocking began. He immediately
grabbed his rifle and moved towards the door. At this moment, he described
a feeling of great and anxiety that he hadn't felt since D Day. He
still went to the door and was able to look outside through a crack.
He expected that he would see a German soldier standing there, but it was
only two children. Weird said he couldn't shake that uneasy feeling as he cracked
the door open. One of the kids was looking down. The other seemed
to be between eleven and twelve. He looked up and down the alley to
make sure the Germans weren't around, because this could be a ruse to capture
them in It was at this moment that he realized that before they had taken
this defensive position, they cleared all the buildings of civilians, and the only
way to the other side of town was down the road that these snippers occupied.
He looked back at the children, and that's when he saw the eyes
completely black and hollow. They asked if they could come inside and go to
the bathroom. Totally unnerved, my grandpa slammed the door. He went and
got his replacement for duty and told him what he had seen. The other
soldier cracked the door and said he saw nothing. He told my grandpa he'd
better get some sleep. His eyes were playing tricks on him. And so
the kaiser says, I would have asked my grandpa about what happened, but
he passed away several years ago. He can't be for certain if this was
embellishment or if he really had seen black eyed kids. Either way, it
was already a terrifying story. You're pinned down at night, right yeah,
and then and then the black eyed kids are like, hell, let me
make this worse for you, oh man, great story, tap dancing kaiser.
No, no, no, get on back out of here. We
don't want you in Bedford Fall. I don't want your black eyes. I
don't want you use in my bathroom. I don't watch you plastics. I
don't want gotta shut my daughter Zuoso out here to paint your balls all over
the shide of this house. I understand me. What if Jimmy Stewart was
actually some sort of early bionic man, just like, you're gonna get out
of here, and I'm gonna show you how. Let me just drop this
creek here. Well, the shavings alone had the money they have that,
they had the damn technology. Now I can just lift this car away from
the tree. I'm not. His nemesis is a robotic man in a wheelchair
named pot R. I was like you, George, they couldn't save my
legs. Now I just sit here and plan, and this whole town will
be mine. You're not gonna get it in that pot R. Jesus,
there you go. That's our next radio play. Oh god, I got
an email here from Peyton Bob this very simple question. Peyton Bob sent us
a copy of Zaro the Gay Blade with a Hamilton's Uh, George, George
Hamilton once to know if we watched it yet. We haven't, and it's
my fault. We had a whole night planned out. As a matter of
fact, Flora's girlfriend even made up a cocktail called a gay Blade. Uh.
And I ended up having to leave for work. I had had to
get out of town for a couple of days. It makes me sounds like
I was fleeing something. I had to go to one of our offices and
I for work. I had to leave, so I ruined the whole thing.
And we haven't gotten a rescheduled yet, but we did have a hole
to do about it. Actually, we built a little little little evening and
had some friends over about it. So once we get that reschedule, which
should be pretty soon, it's a good time for that, so we can
get that done. So that's entirely my fault. That's my fart. That's
your fart. That's my fart, Payton, Bob soart, that's so get
to it, Peyton, Yeah, we damn right. We Well, I
can't wait because I feel like I saw it when I was super young,
but I don't remember it very well because I think it was it was a
double feature of that and love it first bite, double fete. All right,
So thanks Peyton, Bob. Yeah, well, we'll get to it
and we will report as soon as we do to rout. We've heard from
ladies underscores Pumpkin sixty nine. Oh yeah, sure, it's not hit that
blunt four twenty six nine six nine six nine six nine. It's not Nope,
that one was taken. Great podcast, guys, Still on my first
season, just finished the channeling episode. Here's a story. My girlfriend visits
a healer, but I am supportive of her, so I avoid criticizing in
front of her. So she tells me she saw a few dead relatives and
a guardian angel. Oh, the healer gets her into a trance, something
like crystallizing healing, that's the term she uses. And then my girlfriend says
she can see a room with windows, and then the healer asked her what
she can see, so the girlfriend replies with windows, chests covered in dust,
random items going to be a room of requirement. Then she asked her
to pick them up and get it out, but girlfriend says it's heavy,
So the healer says that guardian angel will help you lift the items, and
then outside it disappears, I guess into diamond dust and these items are apparently
baggage which she carries like mental emotions. Yeah, yeah, there's a lot
of symbolism going on there. And then she said and dead relatives they visit
her and tell her now they are at peace, and they go into the
light. Then there is a very flat emoji face. Any who I supported
her a lot because I thought, you know, to help her with a
constant stress and wearying and surprise, it didn't, he says. I just
felt it was a cash churning bs oh, and he gives a certificate for
one of those numerous things that we put it on the pile. But anyway,
you know what, uh, that's that's kind of how we always show
up to these you know, how we end up on these things. It's
like, you know, I guess it could help. If it makes your
life go better, why the hell not? But I agree, I feel
like it's a predatory practice. It is. It is a bit tis a
bit. Yeah, but thanks for writing, Sharon. I love that name.
Got one from Brook here. Brooke writes, Hi, my name is
Brooke, Hi Brook, and I totally dig your show. Thank you.
I'm a graphic designer and love listening to your podcast as I draw at work.
Noise and then she's got a great show subgestion because she doesn't feel like
we have enough episodes about goblins. We tried, big dumb goblins. Yeah,
can they get out? Will they get out? Will? Here comes
Jordan, big town bubbling, flying through the air like a big dumb Goblin.
Actually, I mean, hey, we've done Gremlins. Yeah, yeah,
so problem goblins are different. And she even went so far as to,
uh do our work for us? Yeah, hit us up with a
yeah, a huge amount of links and stuff. So thanks for the prepackaged
episode. Yeah I did get put on that brook. You got another one
here from uh Connor the con Man? Right, Hello gents, Hi,
hey on your most recent Bullstone Looking at the day with General Ironicus. Oh
hey hey we're cutting up. Yeah yeah, yeah, Fargo was mentioned.
Funnily enough, one of the characters from the TV series, if that that
was what was references, played by a former classmates of my younger sister.
She plays the Brady daughter, the mob leader. Also, yeah, the
whole the only white men can safely travel back in time thing. I generally
agree, except in some instances of fiction, specifically related to Japanese animation.
Uh you got us there, Stein's Gate. Stein's Gate is one such series
where race is not a factor, and in an added bonus, said series
makes us makes use of the whole. John Tytor versus certain certain story.
I don't know what that means. Yeah. John Teter was the guy that
showed up in times square. I think is that the one and he got
hit by a car or something. I'm not yeah, I'm not too familiar.
But well, you know what, now you've made us. Thank Connor,
and he says, happy, have a happy new Year, Happy new
Year. Happy. You'll like that, So thank you con Man, Thanks
com man, Dave, we've heard from Lex Lex are you an evil super
person? A super person? Hey David Dave? Oh hi writing and to
say I still love your stuff and tearfully forcing my boyfriend to convert to blur
reeverism. Nice ye tearfully Okay, so says any chance of you two ever
playing a brief game with the illustrious Kin Height would make for fantastic leastening.
I'd like that. I'd be down with that. The hard truth be told.
The hard thing is Ken is very much the man in demand. He
is a demanded man. He travels a lot, he's he does a ton
of like cons and stuff. Yeah, um, we probably have to rope
a couple more people in to actually do a tabletop thing. I think it'd
be fun to do it, be great, you know what, you know
what you don't be fun to do about that? That might make a great
Patreon reward. Oh yeah, if we just gamed for like an afternoon,
broke that into a bunch of episodes, and that'd be that'd be a ton
of fun. I love that idea. That's that's not not bad, not
bad. I think I'll say this, Oh yeah, it's not bad.
I think Ken would definitely rather be a player. Yeah, ye oh yeah,
I think I think. Don't quote me on this, but I feel
like Ken might get roped into a lot of gaming scenarios because he knows,
yeah, because he's great at it. Also, he has a podcast about
gaming and how to make gaming awesome all the time. Maybe maybe Ironicus could
game master at who Yeah, there you go. Last question, how much
would it cost for a full Blurry photos liquor beer album. I'd pitch in
at least seven dollars for that work of art. I'll tell you what.
We We have discussed that more than you can possibly imagine. We both really
enjoyed making up the country songs, so so you might get you you might
get your your wish on that one. We had a lot of fun doing
that biment all on my roof. I saw big food and I took his
class of Champagne, I kick that son of a bitch and the sas crotchet
and no no, no, no, no, no no no. Those
are just a couple of teasers for you. Thank you, Lex Yeah,
thanks, Uh, it would be it would be a sort of a a
zydecoat kind of sound though, because I could, I could pull out the
old accordion. Oh yeah, and I've got the acoustic guitar here, so
yeah, what terrything else would be probably be electronic, but we well you
just find out the people that are musicians. Well, yes, well I'll
break gilt the old upright bass. No what a sound? Yeah what what?
What? What? It doesn't have I don't have pickups from my upright
bass, so we'd have to like really shove a microphone into it. Oh
we'd be fine. Yeah, that's right. I can. I can.
I can take bass, accordion and guitar. I can take the blues for
a walk on that thing, Flora. We got an email from Creeping Tom.
Thanks for keeping your curtains open. Creeping Tom rights, Hello, wait,
no, I just wanted you write to say how much I enjoy blue
photo. It's Creeping Vincent's Creeping Vincent, but it's still fun to do.
I'm a comic book artist and you help keep me saying during the long hours
of drawing and redrawing. I especially enjoyed the wind to Goo episode as it
reminded me of a strange event during my own childhood. The woods near my
home were haunted by a creature said to be a windigo, but which turned
out to be nothing more than a local man in a faked up monster suit.
It was just a pretend, he go, I see, yeah,
you got us, you fish, I guess, he said, best wishes
and thanks for the laughs. Creeping Tom from the UK once to let us
know he's a three on the first Vandyke scale. Oh wow, invoding me
now, thanks Creeping Tom. We had a pretend to go, we did.
I saw it and lets me touch the glove. She I don't even
know what that means. It just sounded right. Uh day, we've heard
from dog because Kitty Lunar Kitty says, I would like to send you to
the penalty box. After that intro, Yeah this is for the cropus Knocked
episode says I'm either missing out on or just not discussing the bizarre as it
sounds interesting, though as you all had so much damn losing your mind fun.
It's okay, but I bet many of us are curious what all you
would sell at a Crumpus mini festival. I thought, didn't we tell the
people there was like the balloon hats and the T shirts. I don't there
wasn't a ton for sailors. I think the only crafts that I recall is
there was hats, some signs in the balloon hats. Yeah, they the
balloon hats had some T shirts that they sold out of pretty quickly, and
so yeah, some T shirts that also sold out. They had this thing
called Harm's Way where you could get molested. Yah, walked through it and
just get beat as you walked through. Ye. We took our picture with
the Christmas Drag queen and the uh the rest of the crew, which but
the hula angels. Yeah, I don't know. I guess we didn't.
I guess we didn't discuss it enough. Yeah, you know what, there
wasn't enough to really call it a bizarre Yeah. That feel like that might
get fixed. Yeah, I feel like, yeah, I think they're gonna
attract more vendors because they really there was like three things for sale Yeah,
yeah, maybe we could. Maybe we could set up a booth there.
Maybe maybe we could call him up and just be like, hey, yeah,
you've got plenty of room, right, we'd like to make money off
of you. But you know what, we haven't had a penalty box for
a while. I feel like there's some things that yeah, people have.
Yeah, I'm surprised this is the first mention that we've gotten. So thank
you, Luna Kitty. Yeah, goes amas, Luna Kitty. I got
a one two combo from Cthulu Hungers. He writes, awesome, miss A
is always guys, that Mel's whole episode maybe my new favorite. Just about
Tailin' Stecco observed that he literally saw the baby in the baby looked at him.
Also writes awesome job on the Lovecraft episode. Hey, thanks, I
wanted to wait to write to tell you I could throw ten bucks your way
since I offered five for a penalty box stint that you guys blew that completely
out of the water, So enjoy. Thank you very much. Yeah,
thank you. Love the goofy Yell and Dagon and the idea that Naralatha tep
ended the world early just to show that one Heckler and he also hits us
with a pun. There's a new restaurant in the old New York neighborhood.
It's just a vacant lot where they only serve mutton. They cook it by
lowering a sheep into a bottomless pit in the back, and you eat while
huddling over a hot bucket of burning ice. The men in black are trying
to shut it down, so don't miss your chance to visit Mel's kitchen.
Nice. Thanks, Hungers Dagone. You have to be a real daredevil to
live there. I mean only if you want to keep up with the Jessica
Jones. Though, Oh my god, I'm gonna put you in a looke
cage there. It is taste of this iron fist Dave we've heard from Mandy.
Oh Mandy. Mandy says, I feel as if I need to defend
my profession as an anthropologist. Okay, oh oh, no, will did
you do? Flora? In regards to artifacts found out of contexts, when
someone finds something of significance like a knife under a rock, for example,
and they move it and clean all the dirt off of it, it loses
about ninety percent of the potential information they can learn from it that anthropologists could
learn from it. Yeah, bugs or any other organic material can be used
to date the object. Soil surrounding the fine can be tested for disturbance.
Anthropologists would also want to test the surrounding area for other items of significance,
as well as for signs of habitation. So if you find something and want
to be taken seriously by anyone in the anthropology or archaeology field, you need
to leave it where you found it as undisturbed as possible. In calling an
expert makes sense. Photography is a great way to document something without disturbingant you
know context. Yeah, yeah, what does Is there any indicate or what
episode this is referring to? Uh oh, it was that episode where we
found um where we found that pirate treasure and just kicked sand all over it
and then then did a dance around it, then dug it up and then
pissed in the hole. Right, I knew something about that. It's in
wrong to me as I was doing it, she says. For a fun,
lighthearted look at what's something like this would look like? You know,
if you want to go through the archaeological anthropological process of something, to take
a look at the book Motail of Mysteries by David mcaulay. Okay, I
like books, and she's got some information about how some archaeologists break down stories
in terms of the myth and stuff. There's uimerism, maybe pronouncing I've never
heard of this word, but each time a story is told, to tell
her exaggerates the story over time. A story about a great king defeating an
enemy becomes a story about a god leading a battle. Yeah, union archetype.
We are familiar with this one. Different cultures displaying similar mythologies or creatures.
Every time I get black out drunk, I save a larger and larger
passenger ship's etymology, which is how a place got its name. And she
says, the town where I grew up was Whiskey Hill, Oregon. Someone
in the past cleared out a hill to hide his still, and one day
it exploded, and that area then became known for that. That's badass,
and then monomith. The generic heroes journey can be applied from Jesus to Harry
Potter. What's the difference if you'd like it? Pretty much? Sa Judas?
And he was like, yeah, don't you worry. She wouldn't Judas
be the Draco. Yeah, she says. If you'd like a pretty much
non biased guide to religion, she highly recommends The World Religions by Huston Smith
or Houston Smith. Okay, well, if I want little fat crock Pot
recipes crockpots dot com. Well, she she also is just setting up a
store in PayPal. The thing is, I've got the way to set up
the store. It's that I can't get over the taxes and the shipping and
stuff right to go into it. Nuts and bolts, Yeah, the really
stupid little stuff. So we don't want to get our asses kicked by being
stupid. Yeah, we don't. We don't want to do anything illegal and
we want to we don't want We don't want to do any ninety dollars to
ship you a shirt. We don't want to do anything illegal we could get
caught for doing. It's an important difference. Thank you, Mandy. Think
there's a lot of information there. We appreciate that. That's awesome. Got
one from Emily the Loose Spruce Moose, first moose. She writes, Hey,
David's hi, longtime listener, first time blah blah blah, you heard
it all before. Yeah yeah, yah yah yeah yeah, Yeah, Yeah.
I love what you guys do, but never felt like I had a
reason to contact until Bullstone twelve. We've done twelve Bullstones now at least,
Bitch Janist, I think I was kind of blown away by your mention of
Marfan syndrome because I have the thing. Oh I've never met anyone who's ever
heard of it, including most doctors i've met. I didn't know that it
was getting more well known, but there it was. Made me feel validated
in a weird way. Anyway, I just thought i'd leave this right here.
Thank you so much for everything you do and making my nights working graveyardchifts
so much more bearable. Also, bring back Divad. Where is that son
of a bitch? He's always just one, hey body, He's like beetlejuice.
You have to say three times then you can't get rid of him.
So thanks, Emma, I'm sorry. The Loose Spruce Moose Spruce next week
got the four Tree Rights. Love the show. I've been listening for a
few weeks and going through the archives Tree Tree in St Hey. Thanks.
Just listen to the lay Lines episode and was pleased to hear Us mentioned the
RPG rifts. Yeah, that was you. Yep, that's me. It
was a fantastic game and full of some fun times for me in the nineties.
Can't wait for the nuclear war so I can get me some of that
sweet psychic nectar, but not seriously slurp now for a shameful bond based on
a childhood fear. Have you ever had heard of the crypto that spent his
day's morning over a privileged life while supplying his morbid repose colored eyeliner from Hot
Topic and listening to the Cure and Joy Division on endless Repeat, Who that
is? That'd be the Gothaman. Oh yeah, terrifying, utterly terrifying,
especially when he's looking in your window. Keep on being awesome, says the
four Tree. Well we'll do it, Yeah we will. David heard from
Matthew d Oh, the Tenacious Matthew. Yes, Hey David, David,
Hey, helly. He was listening to episode thirty seven working on his dissertation.
Heard that one of us went to Antarctica. Yes, one of us
did. I don't know how. It gets hard to remember which one?
How do you? Because I talk about it every six seconds? He says.
I was at McMurdo station and on the Nathaniel B. Palmer for two
months. Earlier this year, Nice Saylon Adam McMurdo spent two months in the
Ross Sea for scientific expedition. What were you doing there? When did you
go? Nice? I will, Matthew listen to any episode every true I
was stationed support personnel at Abanson. Scott started out in the lofty position of
janitor, ended up doing a bunch of stuff with cargo logistics for the O
two o three austral summer. Here you go, so there you go.
Track me down. They did a whole profile me on me in the Antarctic
sun, so I think that you could probably track that down in the PA.
They do. That's for all the US bases down there. That's awesome.
I love me. I hope someone has like a really a bicycle with
huge tires that like goes and throws out the paper every morning. Um one
thing I will I want to throw in here because I'm sure he's just as
irritated as I am by that motherfucking Canada Goose company that stole the Antarctic program
logo for their fucking patches. And it makes me crazy all the time.
Yep, it makes me crazy. Yeah, you, because he always pointed
out and see like, hey, that guy went in it. Oh wait,
says keep up the great work. Matthew uh PhD candidate at l SU
for geology and geophysics. Hell yeah, go Bio Bengals. Except when they're
playing Kentucky, Thanks Matthew. Kentucky lost to LSU already this year. They're
supposed to come. LSU's coming up Selexington to play pretty soon, though Atlanta
is laughing her full head off. No she's not. It's tough to be
a Louiball fan these days. Sorry, Lanta, didn't they vacate a whole
season? They well, they they've banned themselves from postseason activities, which is
not great for the kids. Yeah, I mean, why would you punish
them for what the whole administrators do? You know? Yeah, that's no
good. Yikes, but you know what, you know, I take it
back, and I think Lanta would probably agree with this. This is when
it matters more than ever to be a fan. You could stick with it.
Yeah, absolutely not me. When they lose a game, I go
ape and I'm like, never again, I'm never watching a game. I
won't be hurt by you. I mean last year they lost one game,
Like how how how do I watch any season from now on? That's true?
All right? Next year, yep, next year's I'm telling you.
I got a couple of emails here from our friend Yack at High. That's
the one, she writes, Hi, gents, Hi, she writes,
it was a rainy Christmas eve. I was sitting home alone in my tiny
apartment with appealing paint and no, I resentfully pay the landlord twenty hildos every
month for this whole because it's in Silicon Valley. But I digress. I
like doing these is like we're jazz um. The point is I was down
and out because I was having a lonely Christmas and lamenting the twenty percent increase
in rent happening next week. Imagine Mike ex signment when a fresh new blurry
photos appeared in my podcast feed, Oh joy to the worm, thank you
both fellas for the last and cheering me up most definitely hitting the donate button.
And hey, so you were saying that mel is sing go if you
can find it, that's right. If you can find him, he's got
a it's got a lot of money. He's hiding somewhere took it away from
That's right, coops. She also writes, truckers, I must wholeheartedly agree
with Stecco on this one. I fear a long hauled trucker is the way
some people fear clowns. It's the profession of choice for serial killers. She's
right. Have you already done an intro skit being truckers on the CB radio?
Ye, yes we have. What did you don't? I don't have
to make on the spot for that one, but yeah we did because every
twing we were still referenced about keeping the dirty side down and the shiny side
up. Yeah yeah, double nickel. Yeah, we we actually spent we
did a lot of research, like getting all of our CB lingo rady to
run. Yeah. Yeah, I forget. It was around that summer though,
that we did a revolutionary war. Yeah, I think it's early early
in that run. Maybe it was, No, it wasn't shadow people.
Maybe it's black eyed kids. Maybe I just I just remember that I listened
to C. W. McCall's Convoy a lot. I found that one YouTube
video of I forget the name now, but it was hilarious. It was
a comedy album, but all kinds of truck to talk. Thanks Shot shock
Ah, David Nerd Alert new listener working way through the archives. One major
complaint, why all the cops slapping support? Imagine me a lady police officer
on patrol and the dead and night minded my own he I am p and
son when a spring heeled who lookan leaps from the shadows and slaps my face,
you Reid, I think I think that she's the ultimate foil to spring
heeled Jack because he wouldn't know what to do. Two options which you can't
have the dark not the light. Yeah, then he just passes out in
the whole while she's just tasing the shit out of him. For the record,
we neither support stranger booby grabbing, nor do we support or cops slapping.
And she has a show suggestion, thank you. Not alone. Alert
got a couple of emails from Jannis Latvian friend NT right, Hey, guys,
hi one of your Latvian listeners here are rather the Latvian listener Maybe let's
let's not be naive about it. Found the show about six months ago and
it has quickly become one of my favorite podcasts by far. Thank you.
Yeah, And I was drawn in by the ghost stories and stayed for the
puns. Wow. Well, now Jannie has a great story about a Latvian
werewolf floor. Yeah and so, and it's it's kind of a cool place
for stories. It's very northern country. Lots of darkness, lots of forests.
Yeah, controlled by doctor Doom. Everybody. Oh you hear that a
lot, Yannis. I'm sure, sorry, buddy. So, yeah,
it's a story. It's a great story about a lone traveler. Um And
there's a single, vague light deep in the forest. We've heard that kind
of thing before. And he sees a man placed on a trestle, lying
face facing towards him in two robehooded figures with wolf heads sawing through him with
a two man saw what whoa from the shoulder to the groin, yois Yeah,
but this whole thing is done in total silence except for the sound of
the saw. The traveler fleas and Terror summons the town folk to the clearing.
The next day in daylight, they dig up the area and do indeed
find a court with corpse with the matching injuries, although it seemed to have
been buried decades ago Bogaty. Bogaty says there's no proper riting to the story,
sorry, but I'd have to make one up and I wanted to be
true to the source material. Goody, I respect that anyone. I love
the show and to the extent that this is the first time I've ever written
to a podcast. Everyh That's awesome that Jannis also pointed out a bug on
our website that we got to fix, So thank you very much you,
Jannie. I believe I did fix that. So yeah, yeah, if
anybody finds anything screwy with the website or links or anything, let it let
us know. It doesn't count as a penalty box, but we will fix
it. Yeah, thank you Jannis, and say hi to everybody in Latvia
for us. Indeed, this is good, Dave, We've heard from nice
oh Ronda uh Ronda says listening to the Alisa Lamb episode. Another thing to
add to the likelihood that she was intoxicated is the Cecil Hotel has fourteen floors.
The buttons on the elevator about five rows of three buttons across, and
the ones that she were pressing were a vertical row, essentially every third floor,
and she may have accidentally pressed the door open button, which might explain
why the doors didn't shut for several seconds. Oh I like that. That's
some good analysis, good good observation. Hey, yeah, that's awesome.
Thank you. Up next, how about our great friend Clairvoyant Katie. Oh
yeah, our Bloomington Cramps Night festival. Yes, the Bella Bloomington are sharpa
through a night of terror and inebriation and fun. Clairvoyant Katie writes, Hey,
guys, I would love it if you signed up with Patreon. Really
cool if you offered us bonus episodes or maybe even videos. I agree,
yep yep. I also have a used less superpower tell apathy. You can
read people's mo but you don't bother because what's the points Clairvoyant Katie Katy.
Clairvoyant Katie also has an adorable child, a dinosaur child. Yeah, he's
mostly dinosaur Dave. We've heard from Spangler. Oh nice, maybe of the
egon variety. We don't know. Yeah, longtime listener, first time web
form writer. Might be nice to hear something about the use of auctions to
sell off haunted objects and properties. It turns out I can't even use Google
to come up with a good auctioned cryptid because it seems supernatural. Affiliation can
be critical, can be a critical selling point for every piece of junk and
or abandoned property from here to the horizon. Anyways, here's hoping you two
have some sort of insight. Uh. You know, I think I mentioned
that I do work at an auction house. I don't think we've ever auctioned
anything out that was purported to be haunted. As a matter of fact,
would you know, would they say? Nah? Off the top of my
head, the only haunted thing I can ever think of is the figure of
a monkey and Persian rooms. What is that? It's from the very beginning
a Fantom of the opera. It starts at an auction I see. And
that's what starts them remembering the tale of what happened at the opera. I
see. No, I mean we we sold. We erroneously said the gun
that killed John Dillinger. But in reality there was five cops all blazing down
an alley. So but in ballistics, you know, didn't really exist.
Then very thoroughly, um, and he was. He was hit three times.
I believe I could be wrong in the number of times he was hit.
The long and short of it is is, in order to say you
definitely own the gun that killed Dillinger. You actually have to own five guns
to be one hundred. Would that make them haunted? Though? Right now,
I've never heard any of that that come through. And I and all
I guarantee there are places that specialize, you know, in that kind of
item. They probably also sew magways off the back door um in Chinatown,
right But I have you ever sold a Jewish cabinet? Maybe? But no.
I actually nine years in the business and I I've never heard of anything,
you know, with a curse or a haunting or any of that thing
on it. And I mean, truth be told, if we did hear
that, it would never be brought up because, you know the truth,
the auction industry is pretty yeah, it's pretty mercenary, you know. It's
just like what's it worth moving on? You know? So there you go.
Thanks. Spengler got a couple of emails from mister z mister ZIZI.
He says, Hey, Hosers, I suspect him of being mister z.
Here. I'm a Canadian lucador from Nova Scotia. WHOA. I listened to
you guys all the time as I travel from show to show and also when
I met my day job as a security guard. I hope so, I
hope so so much. I mean, can we at least get a picture
of the mask? Yeah? Right, yeah, I want to know,
Oh my god, oh like a can lumberjack plaid plaid mask, or like
a big white mask with a big maple leaf to be awesome, like some
Alpha flights there, which god, how the hell do I know that?
I don't know anything about comic books, but I knew the Canadian superhero team
that was crazy? All right, love you too and love you two knobs.
Had to reread that to make sure I have a show suggestion. And
some puns would love to hear a show a boot the legendary puck wogie.
Oh yeah, I like the sound of it. And some puns why did
a Dell cross the road just say hello from the other side? Man?
They get that hook and a lot of commercials. I gotta tell you,
Oh yeah, I get that going through my head all the time. He
says, Uh, since David has such an obsession with Jin's, did you
hear about Tarantino's new movie It's called Jingo Unchained. He also writes, listening
to the backlog of shows as I'm a relative newbie, started with the twenty
fifteen episodes. Funny story. I was listening to the Carl Young Show while
working out, and as I went to the shower, Stecco made the Titanic
comment. I was in. I was laughing so hard that the other dude
that I was laughing at their manhood. God I never laughed so hard you
two host heads rock. By the way, after listening to your Dreams podcast,
got to share my worst dream. Strap yourselves in, people. This
is why you've been doing. This is why you've been here for the listener
mail episode. That's right, a Canadian luchador's dream. Had to dream my
penis had arms like little et arms and we get mad at me and start
to pull out hairs. Uh. He tried to kill it in his dream.
Hyeah. You know what, you don't need to be Captain Carl to
unpack that one. Bubble Love you, mister Z. Thanks, mister Z.
Yes, seriously, you're as I need take off. He I do
need to see some some yeah, some luchador stuff. Wow, David heard
from rocha Umbalo seven turned the worst. Oh man, I can't tell you
golden eye shaped my high school social life. It's pretty thoroughly in college but
equally formative. Oh my god, Golden Eye was the and Rogue Squadron Star
Wars. But anyway, Hello guys, double O seven here. Yeah,
I should properould. Hello guys, double O seven here. And I want
to start out by saying, I freaking love your podcast. You guys are
hilarious. You make my days go by so much easier at work. When
I listened to y'all, I mentioned on Facebook you should do a podcast about
Eric Dubai's flat Earth theory and how ridiculous it is. And I got a
response, So I'm really hoping to hear it within the next few months.
And so you well, well, double O seven, but take take that
to m Bond. By now you should have already heard that episode. It
was encoded so that only you would understand it. The rest of the non
agents only an episode about dream interpretation, Bond. This was my gift to
you. Good bye, love Q grow up, got some mundane superpowers bombed.
I don't know if you have understood that his money Penny is my niece.
Please stop telling me about John times with him. Money putting is the
one he never got within the ability to get in the fastest checkout lane at
the grocery store. But once you get there, your card takes way too
long to accept and pisses off everybody else behind you. Straight up, superpower
win win, that's a win win. Oh, you're paying cash. You
can only use change two dollar bills. Oh, I'd be nice if you
had that, but you can only pay by check. The ability to freeze
time and definitely, but once you unfreeze time, you stay frozen until time
catches back up with you. Then you can resume any activities you were doing.
That's actually like that thought, that's kind of a mind fu yeah,
right, because you think like, if you had the ability to freeze time,
one of the things you'd use it for is to sleep in in the
morning. Right. But then as soon as you as soon as you unfreeze
it, see, then you're frozen for as long as you had had frozen.
Is there a cereal by which that's useful? Well, yeah, I
mean you could still rob banks and bring the money home and then you just
sit in a room. Oh yeah, I wonder what that would look like
to everybody else. That'd be pretty trippy. Yeah, that would be that's
a good one though. I like that find like the ability to solve any
physics problem or mathematical equation in your head, but not the ability to explain
it to anyone by speech or writing. Just just insurades. These are these
are really really You're you're a top level player. Yeah, thank you,
Thank you. Roger seven behave bund country. Thanks you, try and bring
it back in one piece. Seven got an email from nrtastic. She's nartastic,
she says, Dear David, David Fresh wanted to come from you on
how well you handled the recent Elsa Lamb episode. Somewhat recent Elisa Lamb Lent
episode. Oh, this is a pretty recent email. We're doing okay,
We're doing okay, managed to do it with tact while staying true to the
format of the show. Also have some great show suggestions. And then right,
lastly, there's a new musician I was wondering if you'd heard of yet.
He's a ukulele player with a high pitched voice that sings about ancient Roman
philosophy. He's Pliny Tim. That is awesome. Keep up the great works
right again soon. And she's got she's got some shadow people's stories ps the
History Channel can suck it for not picking up your show. Yes, they
can. They can. Well, you know, maybe they can unsuck it
if they pick us up later or now. Really you're gonna turn that down.
I don't know, dude, they might start looking our way. Since
we're number three today. Yeah, we peaked on iTunes today. We No,
we didn't peak, we just hit our we said a wreck. Yeah,
we peaked for ourselves. Yeah, so we're we're number three in our
category. We're rated above NASA right now. A couple we we're rated above
NASA. A couple of BBC World Service podcasts like We're We're Dour. Oh
boy, Brian Brian Denning's gonna be so mad when he hears oh, oh
wait, no he won't. He's not allowed. It's not allowed to have
a podcast. Is that it's in the walls. That's in the walls.
The squeaky banana? Okay, well, what sounds the banana make? If
it's squeaky, it's squeaks. Okay, Well that was a mouse eating cheese?
Is a mouse eating cheese? Everyone? It's a it's a dolphin.
If it's anything, everyone, just go ahead and write in and tell him
he's wrong. I feel pretty confident on this one. Thanks for judging me.
Squeaky Banana, that gets the grease. What is up? Yo?
There's a taken out on the banana. You're mad at me? It's it's
a it's a suggestion. Squeaky Banana lives in Devon, England. Nice you're
living there the Royal Marines Training Center there, do you? Uh? Uh?
Isn't that where Wolf Brazier was born? Where he was born? I
grew up in London. That's why the accents different? Gotcha? Shut up?
Um, it wasn't a West Sussex accent. I could tell you that.
Well. Uh. The Squeaky Banana has a show suggestion about the time
the Devil came to Devon, And this is the story. I don't know
if you've heard this, but there were there were hoofprints in snow that went
up like up to a barn, and instead of like ending or turning around,
they like went up the side and over the top and down the barn.
Never mind that, who can played the fiddle against him? But that's
a that's a fun one. That's a fun story. We might be able
to to suss that out at some point. But there is a pointless superpower.
Bring it. You can walk really really fast, but only while looking
at your phone. Yeah, as soon as you look up, you go
back to north. That eyes closed superspeed thing. Yeah yeah, that's a
good one. Thank you, Squeaky Banana. Thank you's in the walls.
How about bob Zilla? The eight is silent. The eight is totally silent.
Hale and well met you beautiful bastards. I love this already. I
was wondering how I can get some of your calling cards so I can spread
the good word of blurry photos. Amen, brother, preach, preach.
I found my congregation lacking the proper oral stimulation to lift them from the stagnation
of theirs, from their designation as the millennial generation agnation and designation. Yeah
you got this, You're on it. Okay, here we go, I'm
ready. They need to raise their eyes from that tech station trance, pull
their minds from the tumbler trap, free themselves from the Twitter terror. They
need to ingest your knowledge of the unknowable. They need to suffer the punishment
of your palms. The followers of the Charles Fort Cabal copyright shadow Works in
dan Uh need your guns Reverend bob Zilla, the great and powerful. Well
the eight is silent. It says not a word. At the Child's Fort
Cabal, all motto is we are the fortunate followers of the fort. What
is next for Charles fort Cabal? I really got to get at least a
couple of followers, by the power of forty ns everywhere. I salute you,
good and wise and sexy into Pant's gentle hams Uh Reverend Pompe Saint bob
Zilla Part two K s C p O p e e d r e l
f p h d m O t h r A c s A r HPS
twenty three s K I think that's a skidoo U l c d O T
d g A p A p s t E s d A l p O
t l l l d d e g A c p I f c d
MC Virginia chapter C I A F b I N s A ABC c e
O s quire All Hail Discordia, all hail fort, All hail Arts.
He's got a lot of learning, and just for fun, I'll hail yourselves.
Say how do your mother? Thank you? Reverend? Thanks? Rev
David heard back from good friend of mine who's Anathan Carter, He says,
mister Carter, he's ever heard in his life. Thanks for reading my previous
email calling me a model American and then proceeding to listen dick and poop jokes.
I wrote, Well, they're one and the same. Here's some more
mundane superpowers. The ability to not hear anyone tell you about their eating or
exercise habits unless you ask them about it. First New Year's resolution, shut
the hell up. The ability to make any driver who cuts you off have
to engage in a three hour conversation with a loquacious gossip they work with whose
name is Rachel, just outside of the door of their destination road. Rachel.
It's an involved with the ability to read the minds of people who you
just don't give a shit about. Hell Empathy the ability to hear bad news
as though the person telling it has just sucked air from a helium balloon.
Son of a pitch, I like that one. And a power that keeps
your pillow cool a head cold, saying I see when he did that,
and then he's got a few puns. I thought it was gonna be Billity
Williams cult Footy five Mane I would have we here Chewy hit the hype a
person who has way more attitude than necessary, probably a cryptod who has way
more attitude than necessary. Fast Squat. I believe we have a fast squatch
inner peace through cannibalism. Zendigo. Dave, it's not real and then he
has a couple of show, suggests Jones. Nathan, you're a great man
for writing in thanks. Nathan got one from Ryan writes, Hey, Dave's
well, Hi, Ryan, have you considered doing an episode on Polibius?
Which I've heard about this before. This is a real thing. It's a
mysterious arcade game that supposedly brought misfortune on arcade Gores in Portland. Back like
in the super early eighties. People thought it was like some sort of weird
uh government secret testing thing. It was supposed to like mess with people,
and some people claim they saw it in arcade. This is a real story.
It sounds like I'm making it up. Is that is that Portland Oregone
near Thoset. It's it's called it's pert Laurend Portland. Lad It's Potland,
It's it's in Oresgo Oregone and says, uh, hit him up. If
we're ever in New Orleans. He's in New Orleans. Huh. Yeah,
it looks like at some point one of us talked about it. But I've
never been in New Orleans, so it must have been you. Maybe it
was made Dick. I'd love to have a couple of times. I've never
been there. It sounds like a fun place. My good friend Rebecca lives
there, and she always says it's a ton of fun. It's not a
good place in the summer. Too many bugs, Jesus, every place the
South is terrible in the summer. Well that's not in just New Orleans.
Yeah, all right. We got a couple of emails from Ryan another Ryan
different, Ryan, totally different, Ryan Right's most admirable, loving and blurry
of us to the both of you, Jesus, but mostly me, but
mostly Stecco. Oh yep, Jesus, you guys are hilarious. You've made
the people on my Morning Bust think I'm crazy. You've blown my mind with
your Richard Dreyfus Dammits way to go, Flora, and your love of puns
is greatly appreciated. But you never read my emails. And then, while
listening through your back catalog, I hear you say that if you have to
blow up a Gotham, it should be Pittsburgh. No fucking way. Clearly,
La is the Gotham to blow up. It's got a lot of reasons
to back himself up here. That might be a misunderstanding. I don't know
if we were saying, if there was a blowing up, that we should
do it. I think we were saying that Pittsburgh would make a good Gotham,
not that it should be blown up. We were probably talking about ers,
maybe, But I remember saying because I went to Pittsburgh once and I
was like, man, there's a lot of like Art Deco kind of stuff
that that I saw, and like they got good sandwiches there, And I
don't know, I was my point was that Iberg would make a good Gotham,
not that it would make a good place to blow up. I never
remember what I say, and I never think through what I say, and
I have very little concept of consequences, so it was probably me, oh,
well anyway, but yeah, I know, yeah, blow up La.
I'm okay with that too. He's listening to the back catalog or working
his way through it and thought of a few things as we discussed. We
should release a compilation of just our opening bits. Might do that. It's
a good idea. Um. The amount of he writes, the amount of
asking listeners for emails that you did in the early episodes has clearly screwed you
at this point. Oh, it's a right. It's it's like it's like
saying, we're not enjoying it. Okay, yeah, sometimes you get you
get screwed, but it's you're kind of enjoying the ride. Is that getting
too weird? It's not screwing us. It's the moral of the story.
But you mentioned being behind on emails in the recent episodes, but then you
just read the first heel email I sent three months after I sent it.
Yeah, that's pretty standard. I think we're gonna fix that. Well,
we're getting we're closed. We were true even though you probably sent that three
months ago. Yeah, kudos to your dedication. Yeah. See, that's
the thing that nobody realizes that, like, when we're like that late,
it's not that we just skipped three months. We're literally still working chronologically through
the emails. Then he writes, how about a QVC intro for Dave Stecko's
Amazing Asswang Begone also known as swearing a can it. I'll be protecting my
nuts from afar. When you read this as the first thought of all that
bleeping me cause Florida to start firing. Right. Yeah, how about some
Monday superpowers. The octopulence, the ability to have eight times the wealth reaches
our affluence of the person physically closest to you at that moment. Wow.
Enough. Bastrel projection. The ability for your consciousness to exist on the same
plane as that of a large mouth, small math, or sea bass,
making them easier to find and catch. Blutation, the ability to transform yourself
into arrant any character on the children's program blues Clues, probab brow it manipulation,
the ability to make sure your night out is free of douchebags. I
paid for that one. Astral correction the ability for co workers with degrees in
English to correct minor grammar errors like an extra comma on the astral plane and
leave things and leave things alone in real life. Just get him out of
our way. Yes, you can spectrally edit. Keep up the good work,
and if you are wondering, I will be ending email in every email
in the same way you Todd Wanna Maker free verse twenty sixteen. That's right,
man, uh And then he wants to know Stecco, how did a
religious fundamentalist? How did I go from being a religious fundamentalist to a debunker
realist? Or however I describe myself today via an Antarctica gent and gentleman of
leisure, So dis grab myself. I find it fascinating. Glad it happened
because the podcast is hilarious. Free Verse twenty sixteen. Oh what a maker.
Oh you know, I think I don't. I don't think I'm nothing
crazy happy here. You go out, you go to college, you meet
a damn book. Yeah you know, I mean you meet other people,
You get a more perspective, You do a little traveling, and some other
strange people that the people that you wouldn't think you'd run across. And then
you you spend time with people as opposed to just stare at them from from
thirty feet you can't help but absorb, you know, kind of some better
perspective and stuff like that. I don't know, and I don't I don't
know if my results are typical or not. You know, some people stay
in the church for their whole lives and it works for them, and you
know, good on them, but yeah, for me, it was just
a travel uh, going to school, meeting a lot of people and just
may maybe just being open to other ideas. So there you go. There's
a nice short version of it. Thank you Ryan, Thank you Ryan Flora.
I got an email here from your sister. Shut up. Yeah,
I actually did. She writes, it's a same Hill Craig, Sam Hill
Craig, nice costume, sa Nel Craig rites. I've been a longtime fan
and wanted to thank you guys again for the entertaining me. While I work.
I routinely listened to about twenty different podcasts, but I always look forward
to my weekly fix of Dave and David is my favorite, and Pierre's podcaster
like broccoli for my ears. But Blurry Photos is like stakums from my soul.
It probably is though. Yeah. By the way, I just I
knew a guy from Mexico who claimed to be a Windigo. His name was
Juan Diego Zig. He was recently in a heated legal battle with a Crown
fighting company over the name of his new motivational screaming business, When to Gogo.
Juan Diego later partnered with the Besmudged carmaker Volkswagen to create an all new
campervan. The design marketed tagline was from here to Tobago When Tobago will keep
your inner baby Froze Yo, Chase the wheel Thorow. Sales have been lackluster,
no show suggestions, but I love your intos and have made myself laugh
imagining you guys doing the Alex Jones voice blowing the lids off all kinds of
mundane things like pots, pans, jars, drinkles, containers. That would
be a great superpower that would blood on it. Bosh, cheers, you
guys want some chips? It's also let me just blow the lid off this
party. Can I open that beer for you? No? I got an
email from Shannon Hi Shannon Shannon Rights. Hi, guys, Hi, Hi,
just to not to let you know how much I love your just to
note to let you know how much I love your podcast. I listen on
the hidden iPod at work Clandestine, and it gets me through the long,
boring retail day without running screaming into the street. Thank you for all your
hard work. I've listened to all the episodes who that we have on iTunes.
I'd like to listen to your older our kind of on my iPod.
I'm never in front of a computer long enough. Is there a way to
download these older shows? I want to keep them forever. Oh well you
can, well, I mean you can do it overnight. I don't know.
Yeah. I think what you could do is you can download them from
the website they are downloadable, and then reload them into iTunes and slap them
on your iPod that way. Yeah. Yeah, like because clicks save as
kind of thing. Yeah, well, you know, because most of the
times iTunes like do you want to be to be the default player? When
you click on an audio file, it automatically imports it into iTunes and then
you can drag it onto your iPod. There you go. There, I
just solved a techt problem. I never had an iPod, so I you
know, I never got around. I still do have a couple that I
use in my house. They like I have one in my bathroom and I
put the remote. It's one of those little stereo things you can stick on
it. And I have the remote and I put it in a tiny plastic
bag so in the shower I can change songs because sometimes I really want to
belt it out. Yeah, Yeah, that's that's a way to do it.
I mean, I feel like the old school iPods now are because they're
they're they they're discontinued, like they're they're very precious. Yeah, yeah,
they do have a they have a lifespan, man, and they're they're dying
out there like tomagochis. I mean, ask Nathan Kapiser over on fair Point
podcast. He'll tell you, yeah, that's right. He is an avid
iPod lover. Yeah. So yeah, thanks Shannon, Thank you, Shannon.
What do you got, Flora? Got it one from Tea de la
Norte. I just na listening to the portion of our Windigo show. This
popped into my head. There's a show based in northern Canada where a chemistry
teacher is secretly making drugs breaking Windigo is the drug farts, Yes it is.
Got a couple of good show suggestions too, there, Thank you,
TiO de la Norte. TiO like uncle though. Oh keep that in mind,
Teo. Right, sorry, all right, got an email here from
Todd x Flexing. All right, Todd, I want you to shake it
off. Why don't you get a little bit of that recovery beverage right now?
I want you to stretch it out. Do a couple of those potstirs,
soup spinners or whatever they're called. Fries, bad, cocacola bad.
Oh no, I said it. Drinking water people. Now, all right,
here we go. The window episode just hit the listener mail segment.
No mention of the killing of Tim McLean. You were called the unfortunate man
that was beheaded on a greyhound muss and then eaten in front of the other
passengers until the authorities removed its killer. That's true. We didn't. We
didn't got it, Yeah, but I don't. I never I didn't see
anything that linked him to wind agism. Well that guy was just whacked out
of his skull. But maybe maybe yeah, I mean eating I mean eating
somebody. Of course, yeah, do it. But actually, you know,
now that I think about it, is kind of weird that that didn't
come up. It never linked to it in the research that we found.
But sometimes we don't do well with the modern stuff. Yeah, it's very
true. He likes he made that. We made a great the state reference.
It was almost certainly me because I wish I've seen it. How about
an end campaign like Dan and Dave's failed rebok campaign, would that be like
Dave versus David. Do you remember Dan and Dave? They were they were
like Reebok had this whole campaign because they were both athletes in the decathlon in
the early nineties Olympics, but then one of them failed to qualify, so
they they just they just fell apart. Wow. No, I don't remember
that at all. And we are still the leader in all things weird more
Bolstone as I have an insatiable hunger that can be that can never be full
Stone. Oh slats, thanks Todd X and finally Flora rounding out this.
This is it. We're fucking caught up, dude, Well we're almost caught
up. Here's a little little asterisk. We have set aside a bunch of
puns because we were planning an epic punny road journey. But yeah, this
is run long. But this has gone so long, we're gonna put that
on, uh look for it in a couple episodes. Yeah, they've already
recorded the episode that's coming. Well maybe the next I don't know. I
don't know when this is coming out. So you're gonna get a penny road.
I mean maybe maybe we've already done I don't know. Ye all right,
So here's here's the last email. It's from Tom Tom as a question
because he says, I'm very curious where do you get all your custom made
Lego men? Oh okay, I'm looking away because Flora just went from six
to midnight. Gross. Here's the deal. He doesn't wear pants people.
I can't emphasize this enough. The legos of me and Dave. I got
those at the Lego store down on Michigan Avenue. Here are certified genuine Lego
products. They have a little a little certificate of authentics ort a heosk where
you can they have like a ton of faces and a ton of bodies and
a crew tremat and stuff you can put together, you know. And they're
just happened to be a couple that looked like me and Dave. Of course
I had to I had to futz with the little goatee on them. But
because they don't make evil legos and goates are inherently exactly Now. The thing
is the rest of the legos are mini figures that they sell individually that you
have to you have to actually buy. They come out with different series.
So you should post a picture of the collection, because I mean it's it's
powerful. Well, it's impressive. Gosh, they actually just released I think
they just released a new one I needed. That's got a lot of good
ones. Yeah, anyway, you should you should release a picture of that.
And don't forget to recreate my my my favorite joker that I ever made.
I remember that Flora's got the Back to the Future DeLorean set and then
he amongst his many minifigs I had because you know, there's there's like Doc
Brown screaming, and so I put Lego Abraham Lincoln under the front wheel with
Doc screaming. I was really proud of myself for that. But yeah,
so so most of them, the majority of them except for me and Dave,
aren't custom made. They're just what what Lego releases in their mini figure
series. Well, not to mention, you have a fair amount of weird,
uh cool, like really well made knockoff legos that aren't necessarily that's true.
There's a lot of Chinese legos that are superheroes. And then there's a
really cool place you can go to called Brick Warriors that makes like accessories that
you can equip your legos with. So they have a lot of swords and
weapons. Armor. There's one cool thing. It's like it's like armor you
put on the lego, but it has two head attachments. You can make
two headed lego men. Yeah, I like that one. Yeah, it's
fun. There's like a buzzsaw hand and dragon wings and stuff head. I
try to use them as much as I can. Then I feel good about
spending the money on it. It's justified, justified. But that's how it
dispense. How would do it? Thank all of you so much for writing
patience and God, how happy are we all going to be that I can
stop my three minute apology at the end of every episode about this. We
are caught up with emails. We got a puny road coming out to catch
up on those. Man, there's there's a few, a scant few that
have come in since recording this. We will get to but that at least
they are like within the last week. I can finally feel clean again.
I can respect the man I see when I look in the mirror and then
also myself. Hopefully it does that in my bathroom every day. Hopefully it
doesn't take me a month to edit this and get it out. That would
be hilarious. That's the other thing. Actually that that did. That's something
happened this fall. Yeah, jeez, you took us like two and a
half three months to get that one out. So they're like, anyways,
yeah, there you go. Thank you guys so much for sitting through all
this. You guys are glorious. Thank you for writing. Please continue to
do so. It does not screw us. And if it does, it
does it in the good way, in a good way, the American way.
You know how to find us yea blurry underscore photos on Twitter, to
podcast Facebook, let's do it real cash, you know where we're at.
Hit us up here, us up on the iTunes. Of course you're already
on there. Probably all you gotta do is click five stars, give us
a good review. Oh yeah, you know what. It doesn't take a
lot to go to audible trial dot com, slash blurry photos. You get
yourself an audiobook. The deal. It's so free, so great. If
you enjoy the grating sound of my voice and the melodic sound of Mark Solov's
voice, check out Blast Podcast. I did an episode of Muff Movies.
Mark and I improvise from memory the entirety of Good Fellas. I think the
first half, the first half came out already, and I think the second
half should be coming out in the next couple of weeks. So so check
that out if you just can't get enough of listening to someone be better at
this than me and two people being better than me. So yeah, so
check that out. And uh man twenty sixteen, we're doing it. Uh,
don't forget. We gotta get those likes, I mean not likes.
Uh yeah, we gotta get those likekes on Facebook. If we get one
fill though, Florida, Florida gets a tattoo, and you guys are picking
the tattoo. So I'm not signing any anything about this, dude. You
know, that's why it used to be New Years. Here's the thing now
now it's now. That's what makes it. That's what makes it a gentleman
it's gonna be. We don't need to dirty this with paperwork and pens and
analysis. It's a gentleman's agreement. I see no brandy here. I'm I'm
still see cigars going. I'm I'm going to ensure that if we get one
thousand before the drunken episode, you will wake up with a tattoo. If
we start making money to pay the rent with I'll get a tattoo of the
logo. If we make more than that, i'll get whatever tattoo you want.
Okay, perfect Bom bom bom system is down.