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You're listening to KFI AM on demand. Jim, Welcome to the Jesus Christ

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Show. Hello, Hi you Jim. How can I help you? Is

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this double H? Yes, this
is the Holy Host H to the h

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H Squared. I get My major
question is I'm going through a divorce after

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thirty one years and then, oh, I'm sorry to hear that, Jim.

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Yeah, yeah, it's you know, things happened in the world.

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It was financial, some emotional,
some other stuff. It's financial finances is

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what brought this to the surface.
Oh yeah, yeah, Oh that breaks

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my heart. I thought that something
so well, Okay, but and she's

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the thing is that she's involved in
a major church, and we were involved

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in that major church together, and
then since she made the decision to the

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worst meetings stuff. It's the church
seems it seems like it backs them up.

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But they kind of make a statement
the families forever, you know,

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and a lot of their teachings about
family forever. And you know, I

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was a good part of the church
for many years, and you know,

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I haven't had any contact with these
people. And I know I've tried to

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go back a couple of times.
It just I just didn't feel like I

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was wanted to kind of thing,
you know, so I kind of feel

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bad about that. My wife and
my youngest daughters still go. But you

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know, I see, And there's
another whole aspect of this too. I

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mean a couple of years ago,
I got double pneumonia and the swine flu,

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and I had died a couple of
times on the live support. Yeah,

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I think, uh, my goodness, so you died a couple of

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times, and and and this,
yeah, this is did we speak before?

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No, I don't think huh,
you don't hear that often the whole

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died a couple of times. Now, when when this occurred? Uh?

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When this occurred? Uh? This
is a clinical death right that they're just

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stopping at the heartbeat, is what
you're talking about, right, Yeah,

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first time had stopped or they failed
two and a half minutes, and a

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couple of days later was three and
a half minutes. My goodness. So

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you've all that stuff. So you've
had your share of some some ugly times

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and some very rough times, and
you're trying to work yourself through them.

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Now, Yeah, that's that's exactly
what t well, You're The thing that

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it is about churches is their their
community, and unfortunately, sometimes in that

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community, they don't always know how
to deal with everything. We've kind of

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this has been a running theme throughout
the show and started with the concept of

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Halloween and paganism, all these things
and what you cut out of your life

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and what you don't. Sometimes the
church really doesn't know how to spawn to

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certain ugly parts of life, the
divorce and things like that, or even

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the death of someone or strange circumstances
or whatever it is, and they just

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they don't run to the aid of
And this isn't all churches, but some

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do. And this may or may
not be the church that you were attending

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in the case, but in that
case as well. But really the important

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thing is for you to find a
church to grow and to be rooted in,

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regardless of whether it's that church you
were originally in or not. Is

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there a what is your goal in
all of this? What are you trying

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to Are you trying to get the
family back together? Are you trying to

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make yourself whole again? What is
your goal? I think the primary thing

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would be to make myself whole again
so I can get the family back again.

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We have four children too, so
we're not just we didn't just screw

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up their lives, you know,
their friends and all of our friends all

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over relatives. I mean thirty one
years of building up. Yeah, it's

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a lot. It's a lot of
you know. And then the crazy thing

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is that you know it, I
think there's some way it could be admitted.

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I just don't know how to get
it all back together. And you

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know, it's a long I think
it's a long term plan, but you

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know, and I just don't feel
comfortable going back to that church right now.

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And they haven't even, like I
said, they haven't even reached out

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one dime and said, hey,
you know how you doing. You know,

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it's like, really, is it
a large church? A very large

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church. Yeah, that happens.
It's a very lot of there's many,

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many of them, you know.
So it's as like I said, it's

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just ah, and there's you know, there's some factors the churches. I've

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always been turned off about it as
a hypocritical attitude of some people. It's

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like it's Okay, you shouldn't do
that, or and I should do this.

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And listening to you, how you're
saying that to find the middle road,

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because everything you do is not always, So that's a terrible thing,

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you know, just like watching you
know, you know, Halloween movie or

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something. You know, that's not
like you're the devil worship or you're enjoying

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a movie or something. No.
I find that the church likes the pendulum

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to swing hard left or hard right. And and that doesn't mean to be

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mediocre. I say in scripture,
if you're luke warm, I'll spit you

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out of my mouth. It's not
to be lukewarm. It's a matter of

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finding that true balanced Jim. It's
a matter of saying, okay, well,

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where is a place of health for
me and something that will not distract

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or take me away from the Gospel
or my faith. And in your circumstances,

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in going through pain or a divorce
or any of these things can be

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quite distracting. And God's desire is
always for reconciliation when possible. If your

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wife's not here to talk and speak
for herself, but I'd be I'd be

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curious to see, Jim, if
your wife was on the phone and I

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asked her why you guys got a
divorce? What do you think the top

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three reasons she would give. Oh, she would probably start off with did

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I don't have to have a steady
income, you know, because I had

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you know, I've obviously you know, I was in the hospital for two

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weeks, you know, a couple
of years ago then they you know,

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it took me two or three months
to recuperate from that. So okay,

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what would be the second, I
would say, So that would be the

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financial aspect that I would think.
Second would be any type of any type

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of drinking of alcohol whatsoever. And
at the same time she she goes out

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and has Martinas and has a beer
to him. I'm not I'm a casual

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drinker, but you know she thinks
that that, you know, and I've

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never ever got I'm not a person
that gets abusive, uh ever, you

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know, but you know, okay, I'll let you We'll go by these

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point by point here. But and
then the third, I would say,

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the relationship that I had with the
four kids. You know, the all

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four kids are pretty much like and
I hate to say this, but on

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my side, you know, they
take their mama's you know, their mother

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went has gone through a menopause,
you know, so after doing all that

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menopause and stuff and everything, she
did like a one eighty at one point,

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and I was, you know,
I was financially trying to help her

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in her business, her things that
she was doing, and she got to

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be kind of a drain on the
family money. And then okay, yeah,

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we owned her sisters a bunch of
money and her sister never paid it

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back. Okay, Well, well
we have a bunch of issues there.

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You know, there's a lot of
issues there, and those going in a

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couple of different directions, Jim,
So, I would say the financial one

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may deal with something just beyond finances. Have you always been kind of in

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and out of work? No?
Not, you know, never. Actually

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I've only a couple of businesses and
I've done I've made you know, tons

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of money and if employed mostly or
I've worked for companies for you know for

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five six, seven years and maybe
you know with a general manager, made

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tons of money. And then we've
always lived in you know, in South

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County. It's always my kids always
went to the same elementary school, the

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same middle school. Now like kids
always you know, they were to sports

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and wrestling, softball, whatever.
Well, I'm going to say this,

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Jim, just out of because the
sake of time and the opportunity we have

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is that you need to take those
three answers that you gave me that you

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think your wife would say, and
you need to make a list for yourself

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is to what part you played in
them and how you can change them or

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where you need to work on them. You know, sickness and things like

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that. It will come and go, but you have to look at those

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things. I want you to go
through each one of them and decide what

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your part in them, in each
of them is, And I want you

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to call me back next week preferably
if you can, if not, the

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following week, and let's talk again
so we can go over those, sort

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through those and see what your part
is for making you a better you first

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before you get back into the relationship. John, Welcome to the Jesus Christ

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Show. Yes, I've had a
question about your name. What the name

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Jesus? Yeah, what is a
real name, because well, it all

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depends on it. It all depends
on from where you stand. The actual

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name is Yeshurmsk in the Hebrew,
but it's not the full name. Jesus

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or Joshua is actually referring to my
actual name. Jesus is the modification of

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that name, and it's what people
are most comfortable with now. But a

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lot of people think that the term
Christ that comes after it is part of

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my name, and it's not.
That actually stands for my title. It

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means the chosen one, and that
in context, it was pointing out that

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I was the Messiah that was spoken
about in the Old Testament. Now,

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if you have questions further than that, maybe your question was actually more about

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this program and what this show is
about. While I will leave that up

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to you and do an investigation on
your own, I'm sure you're a very

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very smart man who can figure that
out as to why we're here and what

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we're doing. And that's a whole
different question. But names are important throughout

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scripture. If you look at the
names of people, they had more weight

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and more meaning than they do now. Now sometimes people will name their child

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after somebody special or after something special, or about the time that they were

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born and things like that, And
in two thousand years ago, it was

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more important to have a name that
described something. Really, that's what it

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was doing. It was a name
described a situation or a person or a

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happenstance that was surrounding that person's birth. That really lent itself to the beauty

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of the name. Last names didn't
exist. Last names were simply a description

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of where you were from or a
description of who you were born, unto

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maybe your parents. That's why,
like the name Josephson or Johnson or these

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types of things that you hear,
you think, oh, well, that's

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the last name. No, really, if you take it apart, it

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was referring to someone being Joseph's son, John's son, and it was a

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description as to from where they came, which was of great importance in the

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Bible. You'll find a lot of
that. Joseph of Aramathea, Jesus of

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Nazareth, these types of things a
judas is scariot, describing certain attributes or

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places they come from, or things
that they did. And in that way

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you learn a little something about someone
just by here in their name. Scott,

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Welcome to the Jesus Christia. Hi, Hi, but glad you could

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take my call, my pleasure.
What's going on? Well, I just

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you know, I'm just kind of
in a quandary. I've been married for

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about ten years and me and my
wife have you know, got along great

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early on, and now it's developed
more kind of into roommate status and we

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haven't been intimate in about three or
four years. Oh goodness. Yeah,

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And I don't know how to turn
it around. And I'm kind of a

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passionate when you know, I tried
to do the romance and all that stuff,

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and she's just cold to that.
And I'm not shooting my own horn,

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but I'm you know, I'm an
attractive man, and so I just

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don't know what's healthy and what I
should where you draw the line or what

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well? And is it? Would
you consider your home a Christian home?

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Yeah? Okay, so you're both
believers? Yeah, okay. And you

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say three or four years ago,
did it like kind of trickle out?

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Yeah, it kind of trickled out. I mean, you know, we

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had our ups and downs in our
relationships like any couple does and everything like

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that, and then it just kind
of disappeared and never been able to get

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that part back. I mean,
we get along great as friends, we

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go out and do things together,
we go on vacations together, but the

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physical part is non existent. Hm. And you know what, I want

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to talk to you more about this
because I think it's it's it's a bigger

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issue than some people may think.
And the fact that you were so bold

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to call in, and a lot
of a lot of men wouldn't. In

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this case, I really want to
take a look at a couple of things

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and ask you some questions. Can
you can you stick around for a moment,

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Yeah, okay, hold on,
and then when we come back,

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I'll ask you a couple more questions. We were talking with Scott. Scott,

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you're still with us. You were
saying that you've been married for ten

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years. Yeah, about ten years, okay, and the past four or

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so three years there or four years, your wife slowly had less and less

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interest in sex. And you say, other than that, the relationship is

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great. You guys, you know, go out, you see movies,

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you hang out together, you go
on vacations together, but no sex.

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Right. Has your wife prior had
any medical issues at all or changed medications

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or anything like that. Well,
yeah, I mean she said some medications

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when it comes to the things such
as fibromyogia and things of that nature,

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which she could be a contributing factor. She has some hormone issues and some

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sleep bud sure issues and so forth, but she's never been, you know,

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a real sexual type of creature.
So going into this marriage. When

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you guys were first married, she
wasn't even it's terribly interested in sex,

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or yes she was, but not
she wasn't a wild yet like some of

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the ladies I'd had in the past. Wow. Well, okay, okay,

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Scott, that might be filed under
t M I maybe, but I

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appreciate the insight the reason why I
ask these things. This is not a

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medical show. Of course, we
look at the spiritual aspects of things,

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and from a biblical and mainstream Christian
perspective. But I asked those things because

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all of that kind of points to
the direction of, you know, where

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one might look for answers in something
like this. Now, when it first

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started, you say, three or
four years ago, what would be the

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excuse or the response to you becoming
amorous and approaching her sexually for her?

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Yeah, when she just shut you
down cold. I have a headache.

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I've got to rearrange my sock drawer. What kind of response? I mean,

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it would just be just about anything, you know. It would be

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you know, not feeling well,
too much stress at work, you know,

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those kind of kind of things.
Even when we get away on vacations

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or whatever. It seems to always
land on her cycle, so to seek

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those kinds of issues that you would
come up with. And you know,

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we've been rebuilding our relationship slowly,
you know, like I said, we've

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had some lips downs in Okay,
Well what are those ups and downs When

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you say you're rebuilding, what are
you rebuilding? What was torn down or

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broken? Well, you know,
I have a son from a previous marriage

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that lived with this for a bit, not a previous marriage, but previous

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girlfriend, and uh, you know
that caused a little bit of differences of

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opinions. Years ago. I used
to drink, I repented and I haven't

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drunk in years, stuff like that. So there there there were some of

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those issues that that what kind of
drinker were you? Were you a mean

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drunk? Well, I'm sloppy,
sloppy okay, yeah, an embarrassing drunk

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okay, Yeah, And did did
and that was done in front of her

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quite often. Uh yeah, she
was. She wore witnessed to that.

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But at the same time, you
know, she loves me and I loved

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her, and I went and took
care of that and she's always been supportive

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of that. And uh, you
know that that isn't the issue certainly now,

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Uh you know that's that's some time
ago. And uh, you know

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the reason why I bring that up
though, Scott, So you know is

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that sometimes in relationships you get in
different modes. And let's say she,

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of course she loves you, you
love her, and she's in that mode

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of taking care of you when you're
sloppy, drunk, and it takes her

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energy and all of those things that
sometimes the resentment builds up, and then

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when you're well, your partner can
become quite distant, still working through those

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things in those memories or gosh,
I remember this or that as they one

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start to learn the new you and
how the new you works and the healthy

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you works and all of those things, and they can be resentful of well,

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how came you didn't do it sooner? Or do you not care?

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There's a lot of things the Majal
the illnesses, let's put it that way.

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The illness is that you named four
or five of them actually that might

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play a part, or even hormones
specifically. Some of them deal with pain,

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some of them do not. Does
she ever comment about pain? Oh,

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yeah, she's a pain quite a
bit, and so on. But

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I don't think that that would be
necessarily the reason behind it. I guess

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my concern is, you know,
I'm married, I but her fibromyalogia does

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that does that manifest itself in pain? Yes? Okay, yeah, and

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that's been since you that's been pretty
much you know, the whole marriage,

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Okay. And the hormone thing that
that concerns me quite a bit. The

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hormone. You said there was hormone
issues and she on medication. Yeah,

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yeah, some degree. I mean
she didn't take the estrogens and stuff like

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that because the cancer so far,
but she she takes, you know,

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some different medications which could affect could
affect that absolutely, not only could,

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but probably do. I mean,
there's a lot to it. And the

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reason that's why I wanted to kind
of hear that stuff because those things you

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need to see a medical doctor and
see how this plays. And she's got

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to have interest in doing that because
she's gonna have to play a big part

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scripturally. The reason why we didn't
go straight to scripture because I could tell

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that there was something underlying. There's
some other concerns as well, But I

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would encourage you to read First Corinthians
chapter seven and goes through the concept of

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the principles for a married life.
And one of those things in verse five

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talks about not depriving one another of
sex. When you're married, you should

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never deprive each other of sex except
for times of prayer and menstruation period.

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So and I know sometimes people have
headaches, it doesn't matter. Coming together

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and having that time to be together
is very important for both men and women,

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and it's healthy. So it sounds
to me like this is beyond just

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celibacy or her not being interested.
Uh. And it sounds like beyond just

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the spiritual needs and the and the
things that I mentioned in First Corinthians seven

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is that there's some medical issues that
need to be addressed. And the only

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the thing about sex when you're married, there's a partnership. That partnership,

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Scott, is something that you've built
along with your wife. And you build

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it up and you say, you're
you're a good looking man. I'm sure

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she's a beautiful woman. And and
those are the things that that first brought

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you together. And you see different
things in each other and it's exciting and

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you engage in this this wonderful God
given union that is uh, it's only

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for you guys, you know,
it's intimate and it's connective, and it's

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beautiful and all those things. But
outside of the picture, it's like watching,

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you know, people dance without music. It looks silly, and if

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people thought about what they were doing
when they dance, it becomes silly.

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But when you're just feeling the music
and letting yourself go, it's wonderful.

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So similarly so is sex in marriage. That when you let yourself go and

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you're so connected, then you just
react and you do and you enjoy.

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But if you start to parse it
or intellectualize it or make too much out

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of it, it becomes awkward and
weird. So when there's a space of

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time of any kind, let alone
three or four years, re engaging that

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part of your life will be strange
and not exciting like when you were first

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married. Strange where you're learning about
each other's bodies and once and desires and

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things like that. It becomes a
new type of strange because whether you believe

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it or not, whether you're good
looking, she's good looking, whether you've

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been with people in your past or
she's been with people, it doesn't matter.

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There's still that that does, that
desire to be accepted by your partner,

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and in the back of your head
the thought, well did I do

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something to make her not want me? Or her thinking well, you know,

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I've gone through you know, hormone
issues and medical issues, and and

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I don't know, maybe she has
scars or dozen or bodies body has changed.

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There's a new awkwardness that comes to
it comes to play in the situation,

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and and so you know it's going
to be awkward. And I think

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in order to bring that back one, I think sharing times of intimacy and

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scripture and prayer and things like that
a great start too, to get into

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some counseling, possibly with the past
to help guide you guys back into that

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part of your lives. And three
and very important is to go see seek

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medical help and sit down with a
doctor and really go not just for the

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aches and pains or for the things
that she's going through, but you go

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in with her and to talk about
the fact that you guys aren't having sex,

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that you guys aren't coming together and
having that part of your life,

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because the resentment is already going to
be wedged in there at this point,

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no matter how kind you are,
no matter how kind she is, and

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it's going to take a little bit
to kind of break that and not feel

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weird about it and just make it
natural and normal again and part of your

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relationship, which is where it should
be and needs to be. If you

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get to that point, it can
be a huge problem in a relationship.

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And you know, God bless you
for standing by her and not taking the

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easy way out and looking for you
know, other sexual partners and so on.

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The world would say, oh,
yeah, you deserve it, go

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do it. You got it.
And partially she is abandoning the marriage,

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and I get that. But to
stand firm and strong in your conviction convictions

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and look at this as an opportunity
of growth and newness in the relationship can

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be very wonderful and exciting. It's
just going to need some outside help to

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get you to that point. So
you read that homework that I gave you

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in First Corinthians, chapter seven.
You pray on what your next step is.

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You pray with your wife, You
find pastoral counseling or somebody that can

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help bring those issues together about reigniting
that. And you find medical help to

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figure out what is going on and
how some of the medications or the hormone

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balance or imbalance or these types of
things are affecting her desire to be with

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you sexually. Started earlier today talking
about the concept of paganism and how it

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permeates really everything, that if as
a believer you are trying to run from

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anything dealing with paganism, that you
will have an easier time trying to pick

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an actor who hasn't been in a
film with who Tony Kevin Bacon. And

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that is to say that there in
life and in culture, the cultures are

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built upon really somebody living in a
place looking to the left and looking to

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the right and seeing what the natural
resources are to make clothing, to make

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food, and this becomes the culture. So if you know, you see

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the Mexican culture culture, or you
see you know, to this side you

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see a Native American culture, or
you keep looking around and seeing, oh,

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well, this is the German culture
and the if you pull them apart,

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you'll start seeing that they intertwine quite
a bit. And the Mexican culture

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the use of certain instruments, including
you know, playing certain types of songs

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that sound like their ompapa when you
when you hear them, you go,

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well, where did that come?
Well? That comes from Germany. So

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when you see these things or hear
them and you go, well where did

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this come from? Where you'll find
that they meld together. American Indians are

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no longer living in teepees. Well, culture changes and grows, and it's

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not that the accordion was native to
Mexico. It's that it's brought there and

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then that gets used and the foods
if you look, it's the region.

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I'm always humored by people that go
into different parts of Central America and the

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like and start looking for to thinking, well, right, they've got beans,

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they've got rice, they've got it. No, they don't, and

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that there's difference. Even though there's
gonna be similarities in certain places, are

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going to be differences and others.
And this is the same with religion or

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faith. You have the Word of
God, which is in scripture and pointing

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to things both culturally that were going
on in the time, both with Pagans

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and with our Jewish brothers and sisters, and these things are all taking part

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and going in different directions for serving
particular purposes and still intertwined with their immediate

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cultures as well. The food of
the day and the you know, the

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you think of the passover. You
think of the things that are taking place

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with the breaking of bread. That's
all because that was the culture of the

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time. So some things around religion
will change as well, if you'd want

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to rid yourself of all pagan concepts. It's not about Halloween. Halloween really,

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although it's a derivative if you trace
it all the way back to Sowin,

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which was a Celtic festival. Yes, well you can say, well

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that's pagan, but then you have
Pope Gregory Iird designating November first is All

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Saints' Day. Then the day prior
automatically became all hollows Eve and that becomes

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Halloween. So it has a Christian
twist throughout the centuries as well. And

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you start looking at these things and
seeing that it's more than just the obvious.

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And that's what I want from you
when you're using discernment, discern not

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just based on the obvious, but
about a true understanding about what's going on.

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There are things in Christianity that our
direct result of paganism. The Cross

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most certainly, the fish and the
application of the fish fish most certainly.

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You look at the symbol for virgo. You can look it up online and

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you'll see the fish embedded in that
very symbol, along with the Hebrew character

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for mem You'll see these things.
There's more to it than just a clean

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lineage, and that's because people are
participating in it. Doesn't mean have the

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necronomicon in your house or pentagrams.
It's not what I'm saying saying use good

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judgment, healthy judgment. Don't have
that attitude of just zero tolerance, because

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that's just lazy spirituality. I appreciate
you taking the time to join me today.

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Enjoy yourself, and above all things, be safe. And more importantly

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than all the craziness in the world, these simple words I want you to

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remember. I am with you always. KFI am sixty on demand