WEBVTT

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Hey, hey, I'm that or
something for you to think about. Listen

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up. On a serious, serious
note, some of you are literally allowing

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your loved ones to put you in
the early grades. You heard me.

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Some of you are allowing your loved
one to put you in an early grades.

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Some people are loving entirely the wrong
way. Some of you think that

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you supposed to allow your significant other
to do whatever they choose to you.

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Some of you are not holding them
responsible. You're not giving them requirements,

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you're not laying down boundaries nothing.
You're just allowing them to do whatever they

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want to do to you. You
allow them to bring whatever drama they want

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to bring in your life, and
you take it, and it's just chipping

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away at you. It's causing you
so much stress. You're unhappy, and

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you're at a point that some of
you you feel like you're losing your mind.

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You've lost a sense of who you
are. You're allowing your significant others

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to put you in in early grades. Now, I will tell you like

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that, and I've told you many
many times, it does not matter how

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much you love him or her,
do they love you. In case you

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don't know, let me tell you
any time you're with someone and all you

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receive is drama, drama, drama, bullcrap after bullcrap. You're going through

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and having to deal with Shenanigan after
Shenanigan. There's an issue. There's a

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real issue and should be real concern. Do this person love you? And

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even more than that, your greatest
concern should be do you love yourself?

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Because people wanna be people. They're
gonna treat you exactly how you taught them.

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They're gonna treat you how you allow
them to treat you. That's a

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given. But do you love yourself
enough to not allow it. Some people

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are going to their graves early because
they have stressed out and stroked out and

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had heart attacks, all kind of
things because of trying to love someone so

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hard. You're going through pure hell, trying to love someone so hard that

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all he's doing is stressing you out
and causing your health to be at risk.

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And I'm not exaggerating. There are
a lot of people who have gone

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to early grades because of the person
that they love. And I mean this

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could relate to your children, other
relatives, but I'm specifically talking about your

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significant others. Some of you are
with individuals who have gone through something health

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wise, and they don't want to
do for themselves because you do it at

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all. So they're not even trying
to get better. They're not even trying

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to do things on their own because
you're at their every back and call,

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even before they call. You right
there doing whatever need to be done,

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when they should be doing it themselves. Working yourself to an early grade,

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literally working your fingers to the bones
because you have not given any requirements.

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You have not helped that person accountable, irresponsible. They know they should be

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doing something, but because you are
always there to do whatever for them,

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they're not trying to do it.
So they sit back and want you hump

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pump, pump, pump pump,
getting everything done. That's running yourself rabbit.

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And they said, but they still
don't try to do anything. You

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have to look at yourselves. You
can't blame him or her. You have

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to look at yourself. You are
allowing that person to send you to an

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early grade. It ages you.
It ages you, and I'm telling you,

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when you're aged that way, it
is not good. It is not

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good when you're aged because of worry
and stress. It's not a good look.

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It's not Millions of people in this
world do not know how to love.

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They think they do, and they
always base it on how they're feeling,

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but not what the whole entire picture
is, meaning what they're getting from

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the relationship, how they're treated by
their significant other. They don't look at

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that because all they're caught up in
is how they feel and what they want

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so much, so many people totally
disregard what they're actually going through, what

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they're dealing with, They totally disregarded
because their mindsets are so on how they

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feel. And it's not a good
thing because most times people get to a

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certain point where they feel that they're
so stressed out. Some people have even

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wanted to take their own life.
Some people have because they feel that's their

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way out. Wrong decision, but
it has happened. People get to a

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point of being so stressed that and
only when they get to that point sometimes

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their eyes open and they realize how
they've allowed themselves to become, and then

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all of that love turns into anger
and resentment and regret. I've told you

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from day one, people treat you
exactly how you allow. I don't care

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how much you love that person,
it don't matter. And I don't want

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you to misconscrew what I'm saying.
Yes, loving your significant other is important.

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Loving your significant other does matter.
But what I'm saying is, when

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it comes to you being worked to
the bones, ran into the ground,

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you have to look at what's going
on in the relationship and stop totally basing

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it on what you want, desire
and feel. Look at what you're actually

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getting. If people did this,
oh my goodness, Oh my goodness,

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if people really paid attention to what
they're actually getting, it could make a

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world of difference. It can make
a world of difference because now you're like,

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wait a minute, I'm doing this
and that and all of these things,

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and this is what this person is
doing to me. No, I'm

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not dealing with that. But no, people keep trying, keep trying,

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keep trying. And there's nothing wrong
with keep trying. But it takes two

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to make a relationship work, not
just one. You may have the desire

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and the heart to try to make
it work, but you can't do it

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by yourself. I promise you you
can't. It takes two to make it

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work. But the problem is so
many of you are settling for those one

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sided relationships that I've talked about on
many occasions. You settle for it because

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some people feel, hey, as
long as I got a man, as

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long as I got a woman,
they're coming home to me. Now,

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oh, that's why so many people
are miserable. You have people who say,

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oh, I don't care what he
does, I don't care what she

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does. I'm doing my own thing, or as a as long as they

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come home to me, as long
as they come home to me. Seriously,

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then that's an individual who have another
agenda. If you don't care,

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you have another agenda. Period.
So when you hear people talking that foolishness,

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they have another agenda, whether it's
to do their own thing, to

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get whatever they can out of the
person, whatever, they have another agenda.

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Because a man that loves his woman, a woman that loves her man,

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they're not thinking that way. They're
not feeling that way. Do whatever

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you want long as you come home
to me. No, they're not feeling

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like that. Not people that truly
love who they are with. Not happening.

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But a lot of people will say
it because they have a different agenda.

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There's no way you love your man
or you're a woman and you okay

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with them with someone else, are
you okay with them out there sowing their

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wild oaks, even though some of
their oaks have dried up, they're still

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trying to sew them. You wouldn't
be okay with it. So people that

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are okay, who are saying they
are okay, they have a different antenda.

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You give in these relationships, and
you do not think about everything that's

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involved in a relationship. You don't. Many people don't. They get in

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relationships and they just move solely on
how they feel or what they want,

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what they desire. And then you
get in these relationships with people who will

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work your fingers to the bones.
They take from you. They drain you

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in every way possible mentally, physically, emotionally, financially, and just zappen,

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zapping your energy. That's not love. That's not love they're showing you,

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and that's not love, although you
perceive that as love. So many

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people take take, take, take, because they think that's the way you

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supposed to love, when you obviously
don't know what love is. And I

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always say, if you don't know
what love is, you definitely don't know

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what it isn't therefore you will go
alone with anything. You will do anything

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you will accept and allow anything,
and ultimately you'll find yourself in a terrible,

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terrible, terrible relationship, one that
you regret, you don't want to

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be with the person. Some of
you end up in relationships where you're afraid,

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you're afraid of who you're with,
but you won't leave because you're afraid

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to leave, You're afraid to stay, and it just wear you down,

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down, down, especially emotionally,
mentally, and physically. That's why I

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tell people all the time, get
a great understanding of what you're signing up

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for. Many people are so focused
on finding love being with someone, but

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their eyes are not open and their
minds to receive exactly what they're getting.

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You can't see it because you're blind
by what you want, feel and desire.

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Until you find yourself so deep in
such misery that you begin to be

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able to seek. And for many, you're in deep and you think you're

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trapped. You have the mindset of
being trapped. Some of you are fearful,

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some of you full of insecurities.
There are so many reasons that people

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remain where they are in their unhealthy
relationships. Some of you, who are

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listening to me right now, you're
literally crying your eyes out because you're so

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mircer. You're literally full of sorrow
and headache and heartache because of the terrible

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relationship you're in, and it's draining
you, is zapping your life from you.

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You feel choked and suffocated because you're
so miserable and unhappy. It's very

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important to find happiness within yourself.
Stop looking forward in other people. The

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very person you're looking forward looking for
happiness in and unhappy, full of their

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own issues. But so many of
you are looking to people to make you

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happy. You can't make it.
An unhappy person happy. An unhappy person

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cannot make you happy. And if
you subject yourself to such relationships, I

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promise you, I promise you you
will feel the consequences. You will.

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So many people, they are so
full of regrets, wishing they have made

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better choices. But it's never too
late. And you all know, if

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you've listened to me, I don't
tell anyone to leave their relationship other than

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for abuse. That's why it's so
important to know and understand what you're getting

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into. You have to be able
to see going into these relationships. You

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have to be able to see when
people show you who they are because it's

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no life. It is who they
are. But so many of you all

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it's just it's not too much.
When that's just a little bit, stay

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in that relationship and see what happens. You're gonna get a double dose.

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And some many, many, many
people are going to early grades because they

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have allowed themselves to be in situations
that are so unhealthy and toxic. Some

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of you are dealing with hostile and
volatile relationship that's no good for no one

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mind. Body are sould no good. But many people are dealing with this

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because a lot of people it does
not matter what their significant others do to

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them. They think I love him
or her so much, they're gonna change.

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They're gonna change, only to find
out they're not. They get it

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worse because you allowed them to do
whatever they want to do. They become

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worse. But really it's who they
are, who they've always been. They

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just feel very comfortable in showing you
now because you did nothing when they showed

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you in the beginning. You've done
nothing, so now they just being who

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they are. But you're miserable now
because now there's no more pretense, there's

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no more camouflage. Many people they're
getting sick, I mean physically sick,

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mentally sick because of the toxic relationships. No one, and I do mean

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no one on the face of this
earth is worth it. No man,

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no woman is worth it. And
it is not love. I don't care

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if you've been with them forty years. If they are not treating you right,

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it is not love. If you
have to go through so much hell,

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it is not love. And you
don't love yourself because if you did,

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you wouldn't be tolerating the crap.
I know some of you don't want

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the truth, but I still gotta
give it to you. I'm not here

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to sugar coat, water down,
or or any of that. You can't

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grow behind the line. You have
to be told the truth. And I

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don't benefit from lying to anyone.
And no one can ever become better by

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accepting the lie over the truth.
No one. There is so much going

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on in this world, but I've
realized that so many people want to remain

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where they have been for years.
They want to remain the same, no

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change, no change. Some of
you get on these social media platforms and

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you want to follow these people who
most of them, most of what they're

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saying, they're saying what they what
they know you want to hear. Most

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of them have so many issues you
wouldn't even imagine insecurity, don't love themselves.

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I mean, so much going on
inside. But they get in front

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of you of fake fake, fake
faith, but you can't see it.

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For the same reasons you can't see
what your significant other is doing. Because

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you want something, you have a
sense of need for something that is not

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good for you. People just seeking
love, they don't care where it comes

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from. A lot of times they
just want to be in somebody life or

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someone in their life. They want
to be a part of something. But

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I'm here to tell you it's just
not worth it. If you're in a

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relationship with someone and they're not treating
you the way that you should be treated,

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I'm sorry you're in the relationship with
the wrong person. Let me tell

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you what I heard yesterday. I
was listening to this clip and this woman

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said she'll choose safety over love any
day. Now you know, I had

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to make a comment because that's ridiculous. You will choose safety over love any

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day. So you got someone who
makes you feel safe, but they're doing

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everything they wanna do. Seeing other
people just doing whatever they wanna do,

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as long as they make you feel
safe, you would not be happy with

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that. You would not be happy
with that because just because they make you

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feel safe, it does not mean
they love you, and it does not

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mean that they want to be with
you. People need to be careful about

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what they say and the information they
put out, because that's ridiculous. Then

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she's saying a man will take respect
over love any day, Well, I

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feel for him, because just because
I respect you don't mean I love you.

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If a relationship is not built on
love, you're gonna have problems,

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I promise you. That's why so
many people are just falling apart mentally,

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emotionally, and physically because of people
giving bad information and individuals are believe in

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it getting into these relationships. Well, well, let me let me stop

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that. That's not the real reason. The real reason is because of mindset,

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inner issues. But people who get
on these platforms and put out bad

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information don't help the situation none.
So many people are in relationships miserable because

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they really believe some of what these
people say. You are putting out bad

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information. If you don't love who
you're with, you're gonna have problems.

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Hands down multiple So you can believe
safety over love, respect over love if

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you want to, because guess what, if they love you, you're gonna

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be safe with them. If they
love you, they are going to respect

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you. I mean people, Oh, it's just annoying, the dumb stuff

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that people say and then individuals signing
off on it as if it's right.

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No, you're wrong, your wrong, wrong, wrong. Millions can avoid

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bad relationships. Look at yourself,
figure you out, love you before you

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try to get in a relationship with
someone. A lot of people get in

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these relationships with individuals with their own
past trauma or history of past trauma.

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Then you have your own history of
past trauma. Then you come together in

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a relationship dry mouth drawm But people
just I mean they think it's love when

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it's everything. But so please don't
let your significant others send you to an

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early grade that they'll break you down
emotionally, mentally, and physically. Because

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if you keep going through what you're
going through, the unnecessary, If you

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keep going through what you're going through, all the stress, it's gonna break

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you down, wear and tear on
your body. In your mind, you

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do what you want to do.
I'm just giving you information. I hope

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you understand what I'm trying to say. If you have any questions, you

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have comments, or whatever, please
reach out. Tell me to go to

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my cast page. It will tell
you exactly how to reach me. I

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will respond. Thank you so much
for listening. I appreciate you much.

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Love to each and every one of
you. Remember this is a new year.

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Do new things, become better.
Make that a goal in your life.

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Only you can do it for yourself. Don't look for here Mahar to

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help you to become better. You
have to do that on your own.

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Don't look for him or her to
change you. You have to do that

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on your own. Please share this
episode, go check out relatable life chronicles

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00:29:21.079 --> 00:29:29.440
and share. Thank you again in
every episode the same and I hope you

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do it than going it