Oh, hello everybody. Welcome to Laura Kane after Dark. Thank you for
tuning in. This is Eric Rimmer, my partner, my bff, my
confidant, my support, my work husband, everything. You're my everything,
my memories, my good memories, everything good to anyway, I appreciate you.
So I'm very emotional this week. So I want to say what's on
my mind? Oh my god, I'm so glad you're not yelling at me.
No, you mean a lot to me, and your opinion matters to
me so much. I very much like this dress. Oh the dress.
Well, first of all, the color. We have produced a Brian over
here, we were so into each other. My god, I should we
just make out? I don't care. You want to sure? Oh you
would never do that, No, long as you don't ask me to do
something else. Oh I want to know. Okay, So it is Thursday.
We dropped this episode on Thursday. Yes, and I have bad news.
What well you're leading and so we're not going to have new episodes next
week. Yes, I'm going to be very sad. Brian and I will
be not working next week with you. And that's actually there will be a
video of me. There will be a podcast episode will be me sitting on
my lawn watching grass grow a giant battle of alcohol. It will be an
hour and a half long. There won't be any talking. Oh my god,
you can join You could join me in watching grow. I might just
come up and join you. Why don't you guys do something? Yeah,
you might. You don't need me. Yeah, do your own thing.
I don't have to set this all up, I know, exactly right.
So, yeah, we're gonna be off next week because the wedding is Sunday,
and then I don't come back until Tuesday. So anyway, it's okay,
we'll be back after that. Okay, So what I'm wearing right now,
it doesn't really look really good on camera at the moment, but so
I might not wear it. What do you think It's one of the dresses
I'm thinking about wearing. It's much brighter on camera than it is in person.
It's long, and it has like a slip, but not not a
really obnoxious slit, not like a basic instinct, you know what. And
I put my hair. My hair is so dirty right now. I tried
to do something. I'm a mess, but I'm doing the best I can.
I don't think I'm gonna wear this one? What this one? I'm
not feel unhappy I see. I think the color just throws me off a
little bit. I think it's much prettier in person than it is on camera.
Okay. Also, your your boobs are very lopsided looking at it,
Oh, yeah they are. I just noticed that on Yeah, that's not
good. I was like, looking at the monitor here, I was like,
there's only a shadow on half of it. Looks like one boob is
giant and the other one. It's like it does it does? Oh my
god, that really weird. Okay, well then this dress is out.
Yeah, okay, back to the Amazon. That's hilarious actually, and it's
really weird because my I caught it just as you were saying it. I
was like, why does that look so weird? I'd have lopsided boobs in
every single picture you moved and it you caught a shadow and I was like,
shadow went over half of her Torso yeah, I was like, what
is that. I was like, oh, she's missing a boob. Yeah,
oh that's even from the side. You have boob and then it's super
flat. You have like an yeah, you have like an a cup.
It looks like you. That's no boyan, No, we don't know.
No, we're not doing Okay, I'm really glad that I wore this tonight
to this Okay, you're welcome. I'm down to one dress. So hopefully
after the podcast, when I try it on for you, guys, just
hideous doily thing better work out for you. I think I think the other
one looks good. Anyway, we'll see my little boy getting married on Sunday.
Okay, Oh, Charlie, Eric has a product to talk about,
yes, that all the celebrities are raving about and using. No, it
is a shameless little joke there. Then you have a story f something,
yes, that that shocked you tremendously. This was so sad. I know,
it's really I was horrified. I have a kind of an interesting list
celebrities that seem really good, but there's something about them that's suspicious. I
have a list I want to see if you have one that Okay, I'll
be curious to know if it's on the list. And uh, we're just
gonna have fun, guys, fun, fun fun. Okay, First,
let's oh the secret sound? How are we getting that from my phone?
I forgot to do it again? You can play it from your phone,
or people can just go back and watch two episodes ago or four episodes ago
for like three seconds. Let's make it easy on ourselves. The secret sound
we blew it last week. We forgot to play it, and it sounds
like we're blowing it this week. Mama blew it this week because I forgot
to load it on the machine. You can connect real quick and play if
you want. I don't know where it is, Brian, It's on your
voice memos. Oh thank you, oh God, thank you for this is
how it is right now, This is how it is right now. God,
Charlie only gets married once in a lifetime. Hey, Siri, where
are my voice memos? They're there? Okay, all right, here we
go. Do am I? I mean, let me, let me get
connected, let me get paired so we can play it for you. Because
the winner if you guess it, one hundred dollars cash. Baby. Let
me get connected so you can hear it. And uh, because we did
get a lot, a lot, a lot of guesses. I do,
I do, Thank you, Oh Chucky, free hugs. You love that.
I tell the story about the shirt I got my girlfriend for when we
switched roles, but it didn't come in time, and so the one that
she's been wearing, Okay, I did tell you what say, pretty little
crack horse like happiest little crack hole or something. Oh my god, that's
hilarious. And she wears it so unashamedly too. That makes me respect your
girlfriends so much. She should have my house one day where and I was
like, okay, so funny, Okay, here we go. I'm up,
I'm connected, and here's the secret sound. What do you think this
is? Everybody? I'll play it two more times. I have a guess.
I feel like it's paper towels being ripped. If you would like to
guess, you can comment on any one of our social media's gonna you can
d m us, you can email us at Laura Kane ad at GLn.
I love it when you guys do that. It'd be super fun if you'd
come in on our YouTube page because I like it when people do that,
because not too many people do. I'm just gonna be honest, not too
many comments on there, so I will see it. And if you guess
it correctly, one hundred dollars cash is what you were going to win.
One more time because we forgot to play last week. Okay, there we
go. Where we did it? On a scale of one to ten?
How close am I with paper towels ripping? I feel like I'd rather not?
This is This is a hint. This is the hint we're getting our
audience since they haven't gotten it yet. It's been like a month. It
hasn't quite been two weeks. Three weeks, it's been like three weeks.
Yeah, we can't say no, not jeez, I must be close.
Yeah, you said more by not saying anything. Yeah, maybe maybe not.
First, let's before we get to all this stuff, we need to
talk about our sponsors. Hi Jhi, doctor Wheeddler, Hiique. Let's talk
about j from Capitol Growth, Inc. J And the wonderful people at the
Joya Cosmetic Surgery Center. My god, because they're very important to us and
we appreciate them all. Lottit keep my skin looking so good. You've been
getting a lot of compliments lately. And Jay's got your money growing like crazy.
Oh, anyway, I know, ma'am. He's the best. More
about them right now? Are you ready to take control of your financial future?
Look no further than Jay Wartzler you're trusted and our favorite certified financial planner.
Life is full of financial decisions and with thirty plus years of experience and
a dedication to your financial wellbeing, Jay is your partner and achieving your financial
goals. So if you're at or near retirement and you want to know if
you have sufficient assets and income sources for a comfortable retirement, or if you
are simply changing jobs and you're unsure about what your options are with your current
retirement plan, please reach out to j. Jay Wurtzler and the team at
Capital Growth go the extra mile to ensure your financial success. Their office is
a one stop shop for financial advising, estate planning, tax preparation, and
divorce analysis. Call J today at eight five eight five five two six'
nine six zero or email him at JAYW at Capitolgrowthinc dot com. La Joya
Cosmetic Surgery Center is the place to go if you're looking to rejuvenate your appearance,
tighten and shape your body, and just just something special for yourself.
You deserve to look your very best. Lhoya Cosmetic Surgery Center offers over ninety
procedures and treatments for a natural, youthful appearance. They are absolutely the best
in the business. Try out their treatment planner at glamfam dot com. It's
so easy and amazing to use. We can't say enough great things about their
Board certified plastic surgeons. And guess what they offer flexible payment plans so you
can start your journey to a better you right now. Free consultations too.
The very best in the business is in our our own backyard. How lucky
are we? Make sure you tell them that. Laura Kane after Dark sent
you we love everything about La joya cosmetic surgery center to clamfam dot com.
Something coming up that I'm going to be a part of on September seventh is
the twenty twenty four five Case Skadatal four Research. It's the eighth annual I'm
the MC. Here's the cool logo for this year. Most us with the
mostess and SCAD is something that's very serious. It affects women mostly and this
is what it stands for. SCAD is spontaneous coordinary artery dissection. It's a
little known and poorly understood cause of a heart attack. Most patients are young,
healthy and active women who do not have the typical risk factors of heart
disease. Although less common, it can affect men to SCAD, can reoccur,
and can be fatal. Research is needed to identify the causes and the
best treatment options. SCAD is the number one cause of heart attacks and women
under the age of fifty, pregnant women, and new moms. There's so
little research about this and it's so much as unknown that This walk raises money
for that, and it's important and it's fun and it's at Crown Point.
And last year I did it and I walked with some people. We had
a great walk. It was a beautiful day. There are vendors afterwards,
face painting, survivors, there's some people that are families that have lost somebody
to SCAD. So if you would like to walk with us and be a
part of it and be a part of the help, that would be awesome.
Go to our website, Laura Kane after dark dot com because the link
is on there for you to sign up, and it's on September seventh,
So sign up now so you can get your T shirt. Absolutely. Okay,
Now, what do you want to start with? I would like to
present you with your gifts. Oh, my godness, gifts. Okay,
I do Okay, so I'd like you to close your eyes. Are these
from where I think they're from? And it's not a big deal. I
like this place. One is from where you think it is, Okay,
the other one is not. I got it at a little Okay, keep
your eyes shut. Okay, wow, is that a real Louis Witon bag?
It is? So? This is from where you think it is?
Okay? Our favorite place sometimes Tamu, but we like to call it Timu.
It's simply a sticker that I can put anywhere, and it says shit
show, admit one. Oh there we go. Absolutely point. I might
put it on my phone case, I think, because it's a constant shit
showre my life. Thank you, you're welcome. This probably costs you thirty
nine cents. I think it was like a dollar. I know who you
got, scam. I totally did. Thank you. No. I think
you'll probably like this a little bit better. Okay, now you you like
you like this a lot, so I'm good. Well, I'm just gonna
tell you here, hold out your hand, okay, okay, okay,
across see I collect Okay, I'm not. I was raised Catholic, baptized
Catholic, never went to Catholic Church, very rarely, only with my grandmother,
not a practicing Catholic. However, I have an affinity for religious art.
It looks like a cathedral in here. Yes, I love crosses,
and I love crosses that have a story. Each one of these crosses on
my wall has a story. And I love the religious art from the Byzantine
area especially. Wow, what a historical Paul Laura Eastern Byzantine Catholicism art icons.
I love Byzantine. Yeah, Constantinople, Baby, I love the saints.
I love everything about it. So this explain to me where you got
it, and and this is from you, so it'll mean something to me.
It's going on the wall. What about this? Spoke to you and
said, Laura, I just love the colors and the birds and the flowers.
And I knew how you were into flowers with your tattoo and everything.
And so I saw that at a little boutique in Encinita's and z I got,
well, that is so sweet? Was it kind of expensive a little
bit? It was kind of nice. Thank you. It means even more
to me now, Lily. Your wall, though it like would be a
perfect horror movie shot in a slow pan just moving backwards, revealing all those
crosses. I'd be like a b roll shot in a horror movie. I
have a giant crucifix, I have crosses, I have bleeding hearts, I
have there's a shot where all the cross is slowly flip upside down. Oh,
that'd be creepy. And the Extorcist reborn or what was the last one
they just did, Exorcist something I can't remember. It was so stupid.
I'm going to make the Extorcist after dark. This is a happy wall,
not if those crosses flip upside down, going are all out of here.
If that happened. Thanks, I'm me, I'm recording. Thank you for
my gifts. Okay, now we have to talk about something very very serious.
Okay. I've known you for a long time, almost nineteen years,
twenty years, twenty ok what happened the other day when I was on the
phone with you was shocking. It was horrifying. So I'm going to set
the scene. You were in the car with a girlfriend of yours and you
said, hold on, I have to I'm in drive through at Jack in
the Box. I have to place an order. The male voice came on
and I hear Laura say hi, Louise. Okay, oh my god,
you're on a first name basis with the Jack Laura and they have a full
on conversation. Then this picture emerges with Laura and Louis. Oh my god.
I would like you to explain the relationship that you because I have never
seen anybody go through a drive through. You either go there for every meal
of your day. No, I remember when you used to go through way
back in the old days and get ice. Okay, this is where it
stems from. By the way, my bill was twenty four dollars. Louise
helped me up twenty four dollars at Jack in the Box. Oh food for
a bunch of people. Oh okay, but he gave me a discount,
his employee discount. This is how close we are, me and Louise.
I. This man is a hard worker. I appreciate him. And back
in the day, I want to say, ten years ago. He's worked
there for a long time. I used to go every single day to Jack
in the Box to get two large cups of ice. What did I always
tell you? I'd be talking to her and she'd be crunching on this ice,
and I'm like, that is not good for your teeth, are you?
And Mack? Yes, okay, that makes sense. But you know
how I go through my addictive period I go through I get addicted to things
and then they fade away. So this was one of my big addictions.
At one point I had to have two full things of they have good ice
at Jack in the Box and I would go through two big bags of the
thick red vines and I would eat ice and red fines all day long.
Uh huh. So Louise and I became friends. I would ask him quit
because you were the crazy lady that came through and he was always so nice
to me, and the fact that he still works there and he works so
hard, and I so I recognize his voice when he's on the little you
know, when you go drive through. I'm like, oh, it's Louise.
Hey, it's me Laura. Oh hello, And that freaked you out
that much? God, I was like, yeah, eats every meal here.
Let me clear I don't. That's a heartwarming story for Luish and that's
an embarrassing story for you, I know, I know. Then I moved
on to my red boled gummy bear face, which is gone and over her
house when it looked like the back lot of Sanford and Son. Yeah.
Well, when I walked in to shoot the podcast one day and there were
like twenty two chairs in here, and I was like, what the oh
I got? I was addicted to chairs for a while. The current addictions,
Oh, Brian, you should have seen these two disgusting ottomans that she
had that were like a leopard print or something, and they were so mad
and gross, and she was doing like a dry buy and handed the girl
the money over the chain link fence and then and they smelled like feet.
I discovered off her up and I was addicted to that for a little while.
And I loved to look at things all day long. It was so
fun for me. So that was one addiction. Now I'm addicted to boba.
I have to have like a milk tea boba almost every single day.
Dude, that is too much. Every day. This is how my addiction
works. I know, But can we get you addicted every other day or
something? And I'm addicted to my morning meal, which is two packages of
oatmeal with almond butter and chia seeds and a celsius. I eat that every
single morning for the last two months. Now, Well, at least that's
how healthy. Not really, it's celsius. Isn't too healthy? Is it?
No? But nomea? Is it steel cut? No, it's from
like Kroger's. It's like the sweetest kind you could I'm going to get used
some steel cut. But that takes a long That takes too long to make.
Oh, eggs eggs in the morning. What every once in a while?
Whyggs? Eggs are so good for you? I love eggs. I
can't. I can't think of anything else I'm really addicted to right now.
As far as that goes, you should try cigarettes. I hear those are
good. Those smoking They've done that. It was cool, wasn't it.
You felt cool when you did it. No, you know what makes me
feel cool? Oh, this could be a topic. This is what makes
me feel cool. When I go to a concert and I'm get there almost
at showtime. I get there whenever the seats are already filled, and my
seats are so good that I walk in from the top. I keep walking
down, down, down, down, I look up at all the people
in my mm hmm, walk down down to the floor, get the thing,
and I walk down going to a concert in good seats. Having better
seats than everybody else makes me feel like I'm the coolest person on the planet.
Okay, Okay, there's that, And then I also have did I
tell you about my elevator thing? No, okay, I'm an elevator snob.
I feel like I am so much better than the person that's in the
elevator with me. If what I'm on a higher floor than they are.
What I have that it makes me feel like I'm so incredibly cool. I
know this is really weird. Therapist. Four people get into the elevator.
Maybe it's like thirteen stories. You're like, uh, what floor? They're
like, oh, just Ford. You're like, I do that. I
go five, and then I'll push mine. It'll be like eleven. It'll
be at the top one. I'll be like, have a good day.
I should get off on floor three. I have like that attitude. Why,
I don't know if they have air conditioning down there on floor three.
I have that. Actually it's weird, but it makes me feel like I'm
so important. I was going to pay you a compliment before you just said
the elevator thing, because that's crazy. I want that compliment. Okay,
Brian was going to take this is so rare. I want to ran that
was going to tell you that he loved you. No, you won't do
that. I was going to say, for your age, you're pretty cool.
That's a pretty good compliment. I'll take that. Yeah, yeah,
okay, elaborate a little bit. How so no, Oh, Brian,
come on, give me one reason why you say that. Oh you're just
for your age, you're pretty hip and with it and cool? Am I
inappropriately? So? I don't know what that would meaning, like, do
I do things that a woman in her fifties shouldn't be doing or wearing or
saying? I don't really know if I think that there is Well he hasn't
seen the White Go Go, but it's yet true. I did wear that
you have aged gracefully with society, not against society as many people do.
He is full of compliments tonight. I'm very This fills my soul and it
will keep my soul filled for a while because I know this is few and
far between. Thank you, Brian. Whatever I'm past, I know I'm
not pushing it. I'm not I'm not pushing it. Okay, So you
have a product that you want to bring up to our attentions that you've used
I have, so let's talk about that, all right. So I was
online and a lot of people were talking this product by Zombie Beauty called the
Zombie Packs. Celebrities use this a lot, yes, so it's it's the
new rage. And I thought, well, this is probably going to be
a rock a crap. It's not cheap. What is it supposed to do
that other masks don't. It's supposed to tighten and lift okay, and when
and make your skin very dewey. Okay. So it I got it on
Amazon. It has been blowing off the shelves. It was almost thirty dollars
for this pack. Okay, how many does it come with? It comes
with eight. So it comes with these little packs and it's it's got all
natural stuff in it. So none of this stuff is crazy, Okay,
stuff that's bad for you? That comes with the brush, Yeah, it
comes with the brush sawtbrush, and then it comes with the activator so you
rip off this little and there's one that corresponds with each packet of powder.
Let me just say he called me after replying this. I have the videos
and I'm going to post them online. I sent them to Brian as well.
So you pour this in the little packet of powder, then you stir
it up with the brush. You get all the bubbles out and the stuff,
and then you brush it on your face. You leave it on for
about fifteen minutes. You can leave it on a little bit longer. I'm
telling you right now. When it starts to tighten hold onto your hats and
they tell you we were going to I was gonna do it on the show,
but you can't move your face at all. Oh, and so it
would be it would just sound like we were Charlie Brown's mom, and I
thought it's not going to be beneficial for us to do it. I could
barely and it gets all wrinkly looking. It gets all wrinkly. And that's
why it's called the zombie pack. Because your face looks like it's all blistered.
So if you guys watch on Thursday, I will post the videos.
It's so creepy. It looks like you just got boils all over your face.
There's big bubbles and okay, it turned, it starts to crack and
everything. It's really gross. But let me tell you when that comes off
your face and it's very easy to wash off. Your face feels like a
newborn baby. It is so soft and your skin is tight. How often
are you supposed to use it? Twice a week? Okay? So you
give that five stars or four stars? I it was. So there's a
there's another one on the market called like Hanna Cure Yes, which is very
very expensive, same though right, same kind of thing. It's about one
hundred and fifty dollars more and it does the exact same thing. So Zombie
Beauty is they've got one called There's Zombie and then there's another one called Mummy.
Oh okay, and they're all on Amazon. They're all on Amazon,
and it does more like brightening. I just ordered that one to see how
I forgot that. I have a story to tell you that reminds me of
something I don't know why. I was asked to introduce a performer on stage
at sea World. They have a concert series. Every Saturday, they have
a performer and they asked it's like an through iHeart. So they asked me
if I would interview this celebrity first before he went on and then go on
stage and introduce him to the crowd. It was the first one of the
series and it was Jesse McCartney and he is an actor, he is a
singer. He's a songwriter and like thirty seven years old and so long story
shore, we get there. He for whatever reason ran at a time.
Something went on. I didn't do the pre interview, fine, but I
did get to introduce him on stage and I got a picture with him.
Very sweet person. But it happened again. You guys him, Oh no,
when you thought you were hot shitting now called Diaria. Well, look,
I'm behind a mic. I have been for many When I'm on the
mic, I'm usually alone or with maybe one other person in a studio behind
the mic, and I don't think about the people that are listening because I
do not think because I don't see them. So I'm comfortable. Well,
this venue at Sea World packed with people and I had to go down this
like bridge thing to get to the thing, and they gave me a script,
and I freak. I get very nervous speaking, and I know you
wouldn't think so, but when I see the faces, I immediately get nervous.
So I'm like, Okay, Laura, you can do this, you
can do this, you can do this. So I started off strong.
Hey, everybody, how's it going. We have Jesse McCartney in the house.
I just met her. He was great. This is the Sea World
Concert summer series. We have bow Wow coming up this summer. We have
Genuine, we have You're Genuine. So they have a couple more. And
then it started, Oh no where Immediately, all of a sudden, all
my saliva dried up. Oh this what happens when I'm nervous and you've got
the top lip over the teeth. It was starting to rise. I had
about three sentences left to say, and I literally could not form words.
And I was horrified that the audience could tell like I was. Brian doesn't
perfectly, because what's happened to me before? I'm like, so you guys
meg here, you get your seeing path? Wow, like I could.
Brian does it better than me. But I couldn't form words. I had
no saliva. I'm sure no one cared. I wouldn't care. It was
I was. I cared. I felt so embarrassed. But Brian, please,
you do it so well. I don't remember what voice it is I
do. That's just what is a person with extreme dry mouth? I don't
know, sound like trying to talk to the world. Oh yike, I'm
looking fun. You did a good too once. Oh yeah, I oh
yeah, you peed your pants when I did it. Oh I love so
hard when you did it. Oh my god, But how do you prevent
that from happening? Do I put like a rocket, grow a pair man?
Do it? Hey? Ready? Yeah? Okay, look, okay,
that you get the heat to get your tickets. Yet Jack, he
were out, he were out, And this is the end. Now you
guys have saved my last line. And now everybody what you've been waiting for,
the one, the only Jesse McCartney. I'll say that, how I
say the lady, he came the moment you've all been waiting for. Put
your hee McCartney. Oh my god. I tried to work so hard through
it, so hard, and it she didn't give me, but they did.
You know what I should do? I should sit in the front row
with one of those water guns and just squirt you in the face, did
you. Oh god, that would be amazing. She's like line, Oh
my god. And I was doing such a good job to the in when
I could I literally, oh my god, it's up to here. Oh
my god. They probably were like, she han't still got wait wait can
you okay, hold on all right, I would like you to do that.
Okay, look at me, well about l zero ka anyway, Kai,
that's exactly what you look like anyway. So that happened, but it
was really fun and I loved it and I did a lot. Okay,
one more thing, yes, and lets you have something? Did you have
something else? I do? We Well, we were talking the other day
about Laura and I living together in our old age. We were talking about
Jay Wurtzler and how he's making me money, and I said, so when
we lived together back to back or foot to foot like our you know,
Charlie in chocolate factory bed, we were talking about I don't know what like
are. We were saying, how we're going to pay for our living expenses.
Oh, that's right, and I said, well it would probably be
more beneficial if we were married. She lit up like a Christmas tree and
said, oh, that's great. And then I thought, we'll wait a
minute. I've always wanted to marry a gay man. Yeah, I'm gonna
get ft because she'll marry me and then just keep me sedated and then run
off with all my money. He properly saved for his retirement. He's good
to go when it hits time. He's taken care of. But guess he's
going to ride that train. I was basically telling him, let's get married.
Yeah, and then and then you can take care of me too.
You will get tax benefits. Yeah yeah, but then I'm a kid benefit.
Then I'll be desolate because I'll just look over and bed our total'll be
touching, and she'll just be ruffling through a new Louis Vuitton bag, a
new Christian Dior bag, a new YSL bag. Does Daddy need more orange
choice things in your dream? I would love to see a like a sitcom
where it's just you guys both falling into like the traditional like you know,
husband and wife stereotypes of like husband comes home to complain, wife bitches at
him for all this stuff now going along. That would be hilarious. Is
that a new dress? She's like, No, it's been hanging in the
closet for months. We're gonna, you know what, No, you're gonna
marry me. We're gonna live our lives out together because we are soulmates.
Yes we are sure, We're not like you know, romantic, but you're
my non sexual life partner, and you are my retirement plan. Wait,
I want to officiate your marriage though, Oh definitely, Oh my god.
Yeah, And then Laura could say all the time, She's like like,
Laura, what are you doing out of the house. She's like, well,
I came home and my husband was banging a dude, so I had
to get out, so I had to go buy myself something. Banging the
pool boys. So it's like they're like, oh my god, I'm so
sorry. It's like that's fine, Okay, We're going to end on one
more thing. I think this one's too long, because you know what,
I got so much to do right now. I am so excited about Charlie's
wedding. I know this is the last time I want to talk about it
because it's happening on Sunday. But this boy who died three times on the
way to his first surgery and had three surgeries since then, who everybody thought
was not going to make it, who was so fragile when he was born,
nobody could hold him. Who people thought he had giganticism, people thought
he had this and that and this and that. Now look at him getting
married to the love of his life, the way he wants to do it.
I couldn't be more proud. I am just racked with emotions, and
I am thrilled because I get to see Evan, my mom my, sister,
every whole family. Is going to be a great, great experience.
And I can't wait to tell you all about it when we return, not
next week but the week after. And thank you everybody for all your well
wishes. I've received all of them on Instagram and Facebook, all the nice
messages you've sent me. I appreciate it now. Finally, how many times
a day does the average Americans say the following phrase? I've said it today,
maybe five times. What's the phrase I'm tired? One hundred and seventy
eight times per day. The average American spends one four hundred and sixty hours
a year feeling tired and says out loud, I'm tired three times to day.
Three to that checks. That's all three times a day on average.
I said about three times an hour out loud. Oh yeah, I know
me too. Yeah. Because he wakes up but naked, face down from
the TV. He's like, how did I get here? I'm so tired?
I literally like I'm so tired out loud. But I thought that was
anyway, that's not a good way to end. Well, it's a great
way to end. I was doing laundry the other night and I have a
mat that I like do my sit ups and stuff on, and it was
so humid out that I laid on the mat and fell asleep naked. Woke
up at four ten in the morning completely naked. Yeah, with the dryerp
like going off. Yeah, oh my, that's good. I was not
expecting that that was good. Yeah, Brian, Yes, I just want
you to know that I feel like God put you in this chair in my
life, in our lives for a reason, and I love that. And
you fit our show so well, and I just appreciate everything you do for
us. And I feel like you are my son in some ways because you
are at the same age as my son, but you act like a forty
five year old man, which I love. I love it when you give
me grief. I think it's funny when you don't say I love you back.
I just think I'm just very blessed. I feel very lucky that you
sit in my living room once a week. Thank you. You're welcome.
Okay, sir, you are lucky. I have truly blessed your life.
I just love you both. I love you you are You should be very
very proud of yourself because you've raised two Hella great kids on your own,
no help from anybody else except Derek except me, not monetarily. Well no,
but it's all about you. Like it, then you better put a
ring on it? Yeah, exact? Yeah, yeah. And you don't
want Cubic sarconia, do you? I don't. I don't care. I
don't care about that. I don't need to. I don't need a diamond.
You should get get her Cubic zirconia. Come on, blood diamond.
I don't want somebody she'll just she'll just hawk it. I want a blood
diamond. No, she'll she'll howk it on an offer up. I just
appreciate you both a lot, and I I love that we do this.
And I know this is non sec order, but I just feel overwhelmed with
gratefulness. Well, and you should be. I love your podcast. I
know. Let's end this thing. I got a lot of things to do
on a fashion show for us. Oh yeah, I got Okay, Uh,
you guys are and I appreciate you for watching and listening and listen to
us all for five years, we've been doing this to night. Oh well,
we're gonna do it for five more. We're gonna do it for like
fifty five more. Guess what forever stuck Brian will be in our assisted living
home set up. Okay, hold up, I haven't set out my five
year plan yet, so let's not jump. I'm just setting it up for
you. So and he'll be just filming us in bed. That will require
quite a bit of a raise, but I'm willing for that. I'm willing
to provide that. What are you guys doing in No, just doing our
podcast like I'm just eating being like sounds awful Oas character, we'll both be
in depends probably, Oh, I'm fine with that. She'll she'll be like
rail. You'll be like one of those older ladies that's gonna be tanned,
super super skinny with huge boobs. Well, I just can't wait for Brian's
wedding someday. And oh I love to be a part of it, and
anything you need from me, I would be happy to. Brian Kilaura and
I officiate your wedding be funny that you should do it whatever you want,
because I'll get ordained. That'd be funny. Yeah, you should do it
because he likes you better than me, and that's fine. I'll get ordained.
We could be like Jim and Tammy Faye Baker, but we totally could
officiated his wedding. You should officiate the wedding. Well, that is anyway
you want to sing a song, like, do you want to sing the
song that they walk down the aisle? Know? I can sing your first
dance? You could sing that song? I can again, never mind,
Okay, we got to end this camera. Oh no they Okay, I
see we're stuck. We're stuck, all right, Love you guys, see
you in a week. Love your podcast, Love your podcast. I love
you, my sweet babies, and I'm seeing you today. Bye mhm