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Welcome to Softcore History. Blow and
welcome back to softcore History. It's good

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to be back in a different kind
of a different location this week. I'm

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Jake. Part of the building,
different part of the building. I'm Jake

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Goldman. I'm here as always with
our producer and co host, Dan Rojester.

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How are you doing, Dan?
What's up? What's up? Dan's

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in the DJ table? Yeah,
DJ diddles in the building. DJ diddles.

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What you want to be called?
Really, No, diddle diddles is

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a poor choice, but I actually
love it. It's actually a callback to

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a Dan Cook joke from like eighth
grade. Well, we'll move on then.

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Yeah, you can steal as jokes
now. They're they're a public domain,

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they're evergreen. Yeah. Yeah.
Uh. And we also have with

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us as always, Robert Fox the
third. Yes, Yes, I'm here

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and I'm excited. Uh. This
is an episode where I might say something

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ridiculously offensive on accident. Yeah,
no, it's it could have an episode

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about a Jewish holiday. No knows
what my I don't remember when we were

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talking the other day in text and
I was like, is it okay if

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I called him Jews? And I
was like, I don't know, Like

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I don't think you can, but
like not not in like a Jew,

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like well it's sucking Jew. It
was just like Mexican. Yeah, it's

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like can I call Yeah, it's
yeah, it's like Mexican yeah, or

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like oh she's Mexican. Yeah.
Yeah. That's the difference, right right,

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Like because it's like you would never
call someone like, oh he's a

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Jew, you say he's Jewish,
right, But the plural is tough.

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The plural is hard because it's like, well they're not. You wouldn't just

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say, oh, they're Jewish people. You'd be like the historical reference to

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the Jews is probably accurate. Yeah, I would say, like, can

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I just tell you how excited Rob
is because we just did a college basketball

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podcast where he was very subdued.
His voice came in. The levels were

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great on the board, they're peaking
right now. Yea yea yea, yea

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yea yeay skirt skirt, yea.
He is very excited to talk shit the

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Jews. Yea, so heart.
His eyes are, his pupils are dilating,

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his his cheeks are flushed. His
he just can't stop to him because

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I don't wanna, I don't want
to, uh, accuse you of stealing

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my sunglasses because I know I knew
this was gonna come up. The rims

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are gold. I knew this is
gonna come up. But Rob came over

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yesterday in my house or wives made
Christmas cookies while we all blacked out.

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Yeah, we all got really drunk, and U Rob just kept talking about

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his cool new sunglasses and like was
taking pictures with them on and stuff.

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I was like, oh, those
are really nice, and he lost them

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and he swears that at my house. I can't find him. That's why

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you don't buy expensive and and I
had to. I had to outright say

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I didn't steal your sunglasses. Well, you offered it up. I didn't

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accuse you of it because I know
what's coming. Yeah, yeah, I

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know what's coming. I don't think
it was, but then you got you

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planted that seed. And now in
my mind, now it's my fault.

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Yeah you think I stole them?
Yes, yeah, I think I.

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Rob was gonna come to my house. They're gold, yeah, the gold

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rim Well, but the only reason
I'm coming over is because we were all

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blacked out drunk. Yeah. I
remember where I was sitting and what I

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where I would have put them down
potentially on a Sunday no less, Yeah,

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it was worth it. I didn't
do shit at work today. Today

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was thankfully Aday. Mondays are easy
for us. Oh, Monday is the

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worst day of my job. Yeah, by far. We don't start till

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one thirty. So that's anyway.
If you smelted those goddamn sunglasses, I

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just broke them down and melted down
the little underwire. Yes, just for

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like one tenth of announce of fake
gold. Yes, yeah, that's that

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sounds about right. Yeah. So
the reason why Rob was talking about Jewish

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stuff is um our episode of day
is actually about a Jewish holiday because we

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are currently on the wh tenth eleven
twelve thirteen four run the fifth night of

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Hanka and r are inclusive because we
just did a Christmas episode. Well,

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to be fair, the Jews invented
Christmas. Christmas yes, now, yeah,

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the Jews invented it first, and
then the Romans stole it and go

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ahead of Christians stole Check out that
episode. I'm actually going to upload the

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video to that on YouTube and this
episode tonight, so awesome, both will

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be up. Well. The Centernalia
episode was really good, um and a

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lot of you are probably thinking,
Oh, Jake's gonna talk about honka wrong.

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Fuck honka Honka is terrible. Um. Hanka is kind of like our

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westernized way of competing with Christmas in
America. UM, it's not a high

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holy holiday by any stretch of the
imagination. Yeah. People people like to

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say, like, I guess it
actually cracked me up a lot. Oh

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no, and October beer that I
hadn't open yet. Um, it actually

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cracks me up a lot that people
kind of act like these days, Like

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now, I would you call it
the last what twenty years at worst?

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Maybe the last ten years. We're
overly inclusive. But really, for whatever

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reason, I either probably just becomes
to make money. Oh really uh like

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marketing firms and and uh toy companies
and whatever else. We're like, well,

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we're getting ninety percent of America with
Christmas, where's another ten percent?

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Yeah, and they shoved in Hanaka
and Kwanza. Uh. I'm surprised I

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didn't do more with Ramadan. Maybe
that varies too much. Ramadan. Yeah,

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that's like a whole month rob.
They don't control the media, so

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yeah, yeah, that's the thing. No, but it really was it

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was just like it was like almost
like tokenism inclusion right to be like,

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partly so that no one would be
left out right every partly partly because it's

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just a way to make more money. Oh, it's definitely a way to

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make more money. I mean there's
no like Hanka. For most Jewish kids.

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Isn't like eight Christmas is in a
row. It's like for some it

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is, though, which is wild. Yeah, no for something. I

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mean I had a pretty good Honaka, like it would mostly it's for a

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lot of Jewish kids. It's one
Christmas broken down into eight days. That's

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still rat uh. Imagine an eighth
of Christmas for eight days. It's just

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a low release adderall. Yeah,
I've had some good Christmases, so it

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would be like so I would say
on average, as a child, I

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would probably get like, I don't
know, fifteen presents on Christmas. I'd

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be more appreciative if I got a
gift every day. Yeah, if I

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just have my Christmas broken up.
Yeah, so it's like two presents a

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day, okay for eight days.
Basically I want to be like, on

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to the next gift. They weren't
all equal size presents, like you know,

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a couple big ones and then a
little one, you know, but

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there's always like the big presents,
you get to build right, Yeah,

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for Hanaka, at least you get
a build up. Yeah. No.

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What's weird though, is like sometimes
you know, you gotta pick which present

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you want. Oh, you don't
start, they don't like start you small

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and then move their way up.
That's hooever you want to do. It's

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like day one you get they should
have done it, like the Maccabee's in

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the temple where every day got worse. Yeah, like the first day you're

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fine. Day by day eight you're
getting breadcrumbs. Yeah. No, And

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but let's okay, let's talk about
the holiday. We're going to talk about

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is poor them right, which is
we'll get there. We'll get there.

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But yeah, I want to continue
to continue we should? Yeah, is

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great? Yeah, okay. Even
have a chocolate calendar, No, we

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have. I think every chocolate coin
was fucking coins every no advent calendars.

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Do you open up the little door
and you get a little piece of chocolate

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every day? Yeah? No,
I mean I send you guys the Atlantic

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article and one of the funniest lines
from it was like every piece of gelt,

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the chocolate coins you see during Hanaka
was probably made in like nineteen eighty

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three and they just haven't had to
make them, since that's why they're all

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Louis the Louis c k candy corn
joke or is that a it's Lewis Black

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Oh is it? Yeah? Where
what they haven't made candy corn and decades?

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Yeah, they just recycle it.
Oh, I'm sure go bad.

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It's like a twinky twinki chuca.
It's two it's two nat it's barely organic.

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Yeah, it's it's barely carbon based. Yeah. So the only thing

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candle Yeah for nuclear if the nuclear
bomb goes off for you have like three

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things guaranteed, and it's cockroaches,
twinkies, and candy corn. Yeah,

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and probably Jewish chocolate chocolate coins.
Yeah. So Hanaka one like you talk

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about the we're on Christmas, and
I think that's laughable because Christmas just kicks

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the shit out of Hanka, Like, oh yeah, sent one. So

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just to start off with the premise, Christmas is the celebration of the birth

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of the savior of humanity. That's
fucking awesome. Hanka is a light that

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stayed on longer than I'm supposed to
be like cool. At some point you

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might wonder like, was it a
miracle or were they just bad at Matt.

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No, that's the biggest miracle of
honkas that we fucked up the numbers

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on the oil. It's the first
time in history. Oh really, the

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people that spend their account right,
Yeah, No, it turns out we

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had a lot more they were trying. Like is that did they just start

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conserving right then? Is that the
invention of us being stingy? He was

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like, Oh, we could maybe
stretch that oil a little longer. We

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don't have to burn it that hard. Hash, we don't have to burn

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the candle that hard. And I'm
honestly concerned to talk in this podcast because

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I just don't want to come off
as overtly anti semitic, just subtly.

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Yes. Yeah, well based on
your hair, weren't you the one that

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got the white power haircut on accident
a couple months ago? What do you

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mean? I'm not not didn't bush
it what I thought? Didn't Dan show

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us a picture of his haircut,
and I was like, dude, you

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look like a fucking proud boy.
No, I shaved my head. It

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wasn't Oh that's what it was.
Yeah, So yes, you did look

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like a yeah you thought it was
an accident. No, come on,

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yeah, it's not great because all
could someone could do is clip you sang

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the wrong thing in this episode and
then show a picture of that and play

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it over that picture, and and
literally everyone would be like, obviously he

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wants to murder Juice. Right,
They're just gonna photoshop the Edward Norton tattoo

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on my chest just to welcome.
Yeah, but at least you look jacked.

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He looked jacked with that tattoo.
He was tiny, and they surrounded

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him with smaller tiny here guys,
yeah, how is that possible? Hollywood?

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Everyone's yeah, it's five five in
Hollywood. Everyone's five five, one

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sixty Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Actors are teeny tiny. I mean Tom

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Cruise is a fucking action here.
I was saying, oh like that though,

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like all your favorite actors are are
fucking like unless you're hero, yeah,

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because you got Hemsworth's tall, Chris
Evans like normal, he's like,

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what is Robert Downey Junior? He's
short? He's short? Is it?

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Yeah? He's he's hardly a superhero
though, was a rich man. He's

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he's like a batman type superheroes.
Bill that's the best kind. Fuck your

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power, your your superpower is wealth. Yeah, that's tight. That's a

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true American hero. Yea wealth and
his Uh he's a genius too, his

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engineer brain. Yeah, basically he
built that suit. That's true, Like

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he didn't just buy it. It's
really kind of like Elon Musk could be

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Iron Man if he really wanted to
be, probably trying right now, he

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would be a terrible iron He also
blows up every rocket he sends up.

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That's not true. The last rocket
that tried to land it blew up,

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okay, but the other ones didn't. Dude, They all the time,

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Like literally, he blows up a
rockety yet to do they blow up?

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He literally controlled explosions at least one
or two a year. He say that

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about NASA half the time. Any
rockets explode. How many apollos didn't make

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it? One one didn't make it
to the moon. We got it back

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somehow. Yeah, I mean two
space shuttles have exploded in my lifetime.

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It was a challenge. Oh wow, I think we have a sound for

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that, if this is the right
one. YEA like a radio show now

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drivetime tragic Wait, yeah, yeah, that type of thing. Yeah,

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good. All right. So yeah, anyway, hoytaka sucks. Um.

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It really is just about like a
temple getting ransacked and then the light standing

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there. You're supposed to have a
light that stays on the entire time.

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They were like, oh my god, it goes out, wasn't it.

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It's essentially like if I had to
compare it Christianity, specifically Catholicism, it

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would be like almost I feel like
before they elevated it, like just like

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a random almost like feast day for
a saint, it would be it would

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hundred percent that. Like I think
the biggest high holiday for Judaism is Yeah,

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which is not fun. It's a
day of repentance and fasting. So

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it's the opposite of anything cool.
It's like Easter, Yeah, pretty much.

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Easter is better than that, but
like, yeah, like the other

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Christian holidays, I mean, the
other main one is East. It's really

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just Christmas in East year. Yeah, and then everything else's second tier.

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Yeah pretty much. Yeah. So
like I mean, it just sounds like

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a day on it and repentance.
Yeah, just like sweating out the shame

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they have from the weekend activities they
did dead on Yeah, absolutely every Monday

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that's every Monday for Aubrey Marcus.
Yea, every Monday is Yam Kapoor and

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on it jim um. But no, so we're gonna talk about Poum,

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which is not a high holiday.
The reason that the reason we're talking us,

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by the way, is that we
were I was at your house yesterday,

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yeah, and you were like,
dude, harnage sucks. You know

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what's the tight holiday for Judaism that
gets no love is poor Um. Yeah.

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Poorum happens like usually between February and
March Um. I believe it's the

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thirteenth day of God. I can't
remember the Jewish month. It's like Adar

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something like that. Yeah, they
said it. So this year it was

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March ninth to March tenth. Next
year, oh, justin this is my

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00:12:54,639 --> 00:12:58,879
birthday February twenty fifth to twenty six. So this is basically actually on the

205
00:12:58,919 --> 00:13:03,000
same schedule as Prey Yeah, and
ash Wednesday. It is. So it's

206
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pretty awesome. Basically, I guess
I could talk about like where the holiday

207
00:13:07,759 --> 00:13:09,879
comes from and then how people celebrate
it. Yeah, because the story is

208
00:13:09,960 --> 00:13:13,919
history is the best part of it. The story is pretty awesome. So

209
00:13:13,320 --> 00:13:18,320
I had some questions about this story. Yeah, oh it's very one sided.

210
00:13:18,519 --> 00:13:22,000
It's written by the victors, if
you want to well later some people

211
00:13:22,039 --> 00:13:26,240
bring up bringing that up. Yeah, it's an extremely nationalistic holiday, like

212
00:13:26,519 --> 00:13:31,440
a culturally naturalistic holiday. It's pretty
funny though it's celebrated awesome. Though.

213
00:13:31,159 --> 00:13:35,759
Also just as a side note,
we are not doing ourselves any favors by

214
00:13:35,799 --> 00:13:37,720
going off the lunar calendar as a
people like, people already think we're like

215
00:13:37,759 --> 00:13:41,320
Harry little Ware wolf monsters anyway,
and our calendar is the moon, so

216
00:13:41,480 --> 00:13:45,960
I would say gremlins. Yeah,
perhaps the people who run the banks and

217
00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:48,159
Harry Potter. Yes, oh no, there's no similarities there. That wasn't

218
00:13:48,200 --> 00:13:50,480
the most heavy handed part for me
as a young boy, like, wow,

219
00:13:50,519 --> 00:13:54,000
I have big nose and big hook
noses and claws and port all the

220
00:13:54,039 --> 00:14:01,600
money. Apparently like the drawings of
goblins, right, as apparently goblins were

221
00:14:01,679 --> 00:14:05,519
drawn like that before Jews were compared
to goblins, and some asshole was just

222
00:14:05,600 --> 00:14:11,240
like jew goblin, Jews are goblins, Jees are goblins. But apparently the

223
00:14:11,360 --> 00:14:18,919
drawings, the pain, the portrayals
of goblins pre date Jews being accused him.

224
00:14:18,960 --> 00:14:22,879
So when I'm learning from this is
Little Wayne is Jewish. He is

225
00:14:22,879 --> 00:14:28,120
a goblin? Yeah, yeah,
he's like is he yeah he's or is

226
00:14:28,159 --> 00:14:31,440
he a ghoul? No? He
has a song called I Am a Goblin,

227
00:14:31,919 --> 00:14:35,559
But I think he's a ghoul.
Little Wayne when he's one of those

228
00:14:35,679 --> 00:14:39,799
um like rappers that wouldn't surprise me, He's like, no, I'm Jewish.

229
00:14:39,919 --> 00:14:43,320
I'm like what he'd be like black
Israelite. Yeah, he has that

230
00:14:43,399 --> 00:14:46,919
red string around his wrist cabala.
Yeah, which is a whole other thing

231
00:14:46,919 --> 00:14:52,720
I won't get into because it's very
man using. Judaism gets some weird like

232
00:14:52,360 --> 00:14:56,600
mystical stuff around. Oh, there's
tons in Jewish mysticism. I mean different

233
00:14:56,879 --> 00:15:01,639
you know, another series I'm gonna
take another time. Yeah, how seriously

234
00:15:01,639 --> 00:15:03,799
do you want to take it?
It's like different forms of Christianity. No,

235
00:15:05,200 --> 00:15:09,080
it's a little it's more like rattlesnake
Christianity. Yeah, it's well,

236
00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:13,519
I wouldn't call it that, like
the Yeah, it's not like that.

237
00:15:13,639 --> 00:15:16,679
No, it isn't like that.
There's a lot of mysticism there, or

238
00:15:16,679 --> 00:15:20,799
a lot of like and like the
Pentecost just in terms of like invisible powers

239
00:15:20,799 --> 00:15:26,200
will inspire and save me. In
a really hardcore man bizarre way. Do

240
00:15:26,279 --> 00:15:28,120
you hear that? No? What
was that? Or Dan did a fun

241
00:15:28,159 --> 00:15:37,200
little uh paranormal sound dj DJ Dan
DJ diddles over here, just submarining the

242
00:15:37,840 --> 00:15:46,279
quality content by making a gimmicky we're
adding to its production. Well on inside

243
00:15:46,279 --> 00:15:50,679
TFM. We used to do the
ham sound all the time. Horn Yeah,

244
00:15:50,600 --> 00:15:52,879
I am yeah. Well we just
got a sound board, so yeah,

245
00:15:52,919 --> 00:15:56,440
hell yeah we do that anyway.
God yeah. So for him,

246
00:15:56,440 --> 00:16:00,159
I'm gonna just go and start from
the beginning. So during the rule of

247
00:16:00,159 --> 00:16:04,120
the Persian Empire, Uh, way
back when I read that, So this

248
00:16:04,399 --> 00:16:11,279
this king was under or after right
after Xerxes? Oh, right after Xerxes

249
00:16:11,320 --> 00:16:15,200
and the okay, yeah that makes
sense. Um, so do you remember

250
00:16:15,240 --> 00:16:18,200
how to pronounce his name? I
still every time I read it it was

251
00:16:18,679 --> 00:16:19,519
Yeah, that name was a nightmare. I know that. I know the

252
00:16:19,519 --> 00:16:26,840
main antagonists name, so uhs or
something? Oh? No, this was

253
00:16:26,960 --> 00:16:32,720
Zerxes? Was it? Erxes?
Yeah? He was the royal hayman,

254
00:16:32,840 --> 00:16:37,159
the bad guy was the viceroy,
was the royal visor or viceroy to King

255
00:16:37,200 --> 00:16:42,759
asa Herris. And then in parentheses
it says Xerxes the first or I don't

256
00:16:42,799 --> 00:16:48,799
know, is this before or after
he slaughtered Leonidas. I'm trying to figure

257
00:16:48,799 --> 00:16:51,879
out that's the right Xerxes. It
might be a different Xerxes maybe before that.

258
00:16:52,360 --> 00:16:56,919
Um, oh no, it is
that Xerxes sick. So this is

259
00:16:56,000 --> 00:17:02,919
Hayman was the viceroy to er weird
sexual Xerxes in three hundred. Yeah,

260
00:17:02,960 --> 00:17:07,000
the big nipple Pierce. Yeah,
crazy dude. Yeah, so picture Xerxes.

261
00:17:07,440 --> 00:17:11,240
Just call him Xerxes because it be
a lot easier to remember. This

262
00:17:11,279 --> 00:17:14,640
is Zerxes. This is the guy. Yeah, so Xerxes is the king,

263
00:17:14,839 --> 00:17:18,880
and um this to start the story. The way this story starts is

264
00:17:18,880 --> 00:17:25,039
so weird. Xerxes wants to like
show off his naked wife to all his

265
00:17:25,160 --> 00:17:27,440
boys, which is why not that
one does? Yeah yeah, well he's

266
00:17:27,440 --> 00:17:30,359
like, okay, so you need
to wear nothing but the royal crown and

267
00:17:30,480 --> 00:17:33,240
standing in front of all my bros. Honestly, you guys not showing me

268
00:17:33,279 --> 00:17:37,759
your naked wives. Seems like we're
not that close. Why don't she show

269
00:17:37,839 --> 00:17:41,960
us? I don't have a wife, so yeah, unfortunate. You can

270
00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:45,640
Kylie get married, you can be
the first. Yeah, I'll show her.

271
00:17:45,680 --> 00:17:48,400
Yeah, yeah, you start with
Kylie. Yeah, and we'll let

272
00:17:48,480 --> 00:17:52,599
Kittie and uh I will. I'll
show you a naked picture in my wife,

273
00:17:52,599 --> 00:17:56,680
but it'll be when she's eight months
pregnant. Okay, yeah, some

274
00:17:56,720 --> 00:17:59,640
guys are in that I'm not.
But yeah, actually it'll be in the

275
00:18:00,319 --> 00:18:04,839
ore or whatever wherever, just her
screaming while she's crowding. Yeah, you'll

276
00:18:04,839 --> 00:18:10,000
see this first child as well.
Yeah, m hmmm, I don't know,

277
00:18:10,119 --> 00:18:11,000
DJ diddles, you're not into that. I don't think we're ever going

278
00:18:11,039 --> 00:18:18,480
to get there. Okay, ouch
ouch your swimmerskin dive, yeah, swim

279
00:18:18,480 --> 00:18:21,599
straight. I don't know. That'ss
like, yo, bitch, get up

280
00:18:21,599 --> 00:18:25,720
on that pedestal and get naked.
I am check out how hot you are.

281
00:18:25,920 --> 00:18:27,079
I want everyone to see. And
she's like like they didn't know,

282
00:18:27,160 --> 00:18:30,759
Like they're not mostly naked in that
time period. Yeah, they're like,

283
00:18:30,799 --> 00:18:34,160
oh all the time. So she
must have been pretty covered up too for

284
00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:37,480
the most part. Yeah, but
anyway, she had a skin condition.

285
00:18:37,519 --> 00:18:38,680
She's like, no, I know, it's really funny to me, by

286
00:18:38,680 --> 00:18:42,240
the way, Like, I mean, what what that even? Yeah,

287
00:18:42,240 --> 00:18:45,440
I don't know. Yeah something she
must have had some sort of like but

288
00:18:45,480 --> 00:18:48,799
also, wouldn't you have known that
and not wanted to show off her weird

289
00:18:48,880 --> 00:18:52,839
skin? Yeah, or like did
everyone back then have weird skin? Sounds

290
00:18:52,839 --> 00:18:57,480
like they had fucking like nighttime regiments. Yeah. Their backup was burlap and

291
00:18:57,519 --> 00:19:00,920
he rubbed it on your face it. Um. So she's like, no,

292
00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:03,599
I don't want to do that,
and he's like, well, you're

293
00:19:03,640 --> 00:19:08,079
not my wife anymore, so fuck
off, and Zertzis goes and starts looking

294
00:19:08,079 --> 00:19:11,799
for a divorced her because she wouldn't
dance naked for his friends. Yeah.

295
00:19:11,839 --> 00:19:15,680
Did he announce it though, Like
he didn't actually go through the paperwork.

296
00:19:15,759 --> 00:19:18,119
He just said, like there's no
paperwork when you're the king when so he

297
00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:22,799
just might he Michael scotted it and
just said I declared bankruptcy. He can

298
00:19:22,880 --> 00:19:26,319
when you highest you are the law, everything you say is law. Yeah.

299
00:19:26,400 --> 00:19:30,559
Actually, and that comes into play
later too, um the royal decrees.

300
00:19:30,599 --> 00:19:33,960
But so he's like, shit,
like I need a new wife now,

301
00:19:34,440 --> 00:19:40,359
and he comes you know he has
he has a beauty contests the Bachelor.

302
00:19:40,559 --> 00:19:44,279
Yeah, he has a beauty contestette. That's another bachelor. Yeah.

303
00:19:44,400 --> 00:19:47,920
Yeah, and um, all these
chicks are coming to like present themselves to

304
00:19:48,039 --> 00:19:52,519
him, and he spots this lady
named esther a secret Jew, a secret

305
00:19:52,599 --> 00:19:56,200
Jew Esther's the niece of a man
named Mordecai, a not so secret Jew.

306
00:19:56,279 --> 00:19:59,440
Not so secret Jew. Yeah,
that kind of gives it away,

307
00:19:59,519 --> 00:20:03,039
right, I guess you just don't
say who your uncle is. Yeah,

308
00:20:03,079 --> 00:20:04,480
I mean, well it's not even
that. I think, like so,

309
00:20:04,599 --> 00:20:08,200
Jews at this time, we're a
cultural minority. Um, they weren't like

310
00:20:08,319 --> 00:20:14,359
yeah, but in so in the
Persian Empire, the Persians were really really

311
00:20:14,440 --> 00:20:17,839
good to everyone they ruled, which
is why the empire lasted so long.

312
00:20:17,920 --> 00:20:22,079
Like they are Jewish in the Bible, there are like they celebrate Cyrus,

313
00:20:22,119 --> 00:20:26,759
who was Zerxy's father. I think
Cyrus liberated Israel, along with a bunch

314
00:20:26,759 --> 00:20:33,960
of other places I believe from Babylon
and the Jews. The Jewish people loved

315
00:20:33,279 --> 00:20:40,240
Cyrus and and they loved they thought
the Persians were good rulers because they really

316
00:20:40,279 --> 00:20:44,680
just let their subjects live. That's
a big thing for the Jews historically,

317
00:20:44,720 --> 00:20:47,200
if you don't just try to exterminate
us. Yeah, they let them.

318
00:20:47,200 --> 00:20:49,839
They didn't force them to practice their
religion. They didn't do like the Babylonians.

319
00:20:51,359 --> 00:20:56,960
So the Assyrians would essentially slaughter everyone
because they were psychos. The Babylonians

320
00:20:56,200 --> 00:21:00,880
had the Jewish diaspora or whatever was
under bab Babylonian rule where they were a

321
00:21:00,920 --> 00:21:07,720
bunch of them were exiled to Babylon
and sou Cyrus beat the Babylonians conquered Babylon

322
00:21:07,839 --> 00:21:11,960
and let the Jews go back home. Um, and he was like a

323
00:21:12,039 --> 00:21:15,960
generally benevolent like live and let live
type of rule or like just pay your

324
00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:22,000
taxes. Yeah, I might level
levy some some people for war when I

325
00:21:22,039 --> 00:21:26,400
need it standard stuff, right,
but like really hands off, which is

326
00:21:26,920 --> 00:21:30,440
all you could ask for in like
six hundred BC or whatever. That's like

327
00:21:30,720 --> 00:21:34,039
the most benevolent you're gonna get.
Yeah. Yeah, So it's that honestly,

328
00:21:34,079 --> 00:21:37,000
might be better than some local rulers
would have been. Oh absolutely,

329
00:21:37,039 --> 00:21:40,960
you know. I mean like no
oversight. Really just kind of like that

330
00:21:41,079 --> 00:21:45,119
better than current current day leaders in
some countries. So I mean like that's

331
00:21:45,200 --> 00:21:48,079
yes, yeah, So it's really
not that bad. Okay, you have

332
00:21:48,119 --> 00:21:51,799
some conscription if there's a big war, and you pay your taxes, that's

333
00:21:51,920 --> 00:21:56,880
it. Um. So I'm trying
to remember here now, so bear with

334
00:21:56,920 --> 00:22:00,799
me for a second. So Mordecai
just tells esther like yo, Mum's the

335
00:22:00,880 --> 00:22:03,960
word don't tell him you Jewish.
Don't tell him you're Jewish. We're gonna

336
00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:07,240
let that skirt, Like, just
marry the emperor. Yeah, it's a

337
00:22:07,359 --> 00:22:10,960
much better life for you. The
worst thing you're gonna have to do is

338
00:22:10,960 --> 00:22:14,319
get naked on a table, like
where to dance for his friends? Yeah,

339
00:22:14,960 --> 00:22:18,119
it's not to show him you're good. Yeah. So, which again

340
00:22:18,680 --> 00:22:21,400
sounds terrible, and maybe it is, but at that point in time,

341
00:22:22,079 --> 00:22:26,039
worse really could it be? Could
it be worse? Absolutely? Yeah?

342
00:22:26,319 --> 00:22:32,200
Um so Esther becomes, you know, the wife and queen of the Persian

343
00:22:32,240 --> 00:22:37,039
Empire, and um so, what
happened to the other wife. I don't

344
00:22:37,039 --> 00:22:40,279
know, she just got to live
the roane and a gutter or maybe like

345
00:22:40,559 --> 00:22:42,559
did she get a severance? She
lived peacefully? Yeah, this guy was

346
00:22:42,680 --> 00:22:48,079
living. The king is pretty chill. Zerkles Zerks gets a bad rape.

347
00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:52,880
Actually. Also, by the way, the Spartan not Spartans. Yeah,

348
00:22:52,880 --> 00:22:56,839
the Spartans. Yeah they're dog shit. Gerard Butler is actually the bad guy

349
00:22:56,880 --> 00:23:00,039
in that movie. No, they're
terrible people. They like they were one

350
00:23:00,039 --> 00:23:03,440
of the worst, a bunch of
a bunch of white men and want to

351
00:23:03,480 --> 00:23:07,160
be a part of a multi ethnic
They abandoned the gender gender neutral empire.

352
00:23:08,000 --> 00:23:11,759
They just put their children out in
the wood. Yeah, like, hope

353
00:23:11,759 --> 00:23:17,039
they survived. Well. Their entire
like thing was just warmongering to the point

354
00:23:17,039 --> 00:23:21,279
where they didn't have an actual stable
society that it was completely reliant on slave

355
00:23:21,319 --> 00:23:23,200
work. And they're like, ooh, we're just like fighting, so nothing

356
00:23:23,240 --> 00:23:27,480
ever got done. That was the
collapse of the Spartan Empire. Spartans are

357
00:23:27,480 --> 00:23:32,799
definitely overhyped in history. They're stupid. They're not even good, like like

358
00:23:32,839 --> 00:23:34,519
we could farm right now and now
fuck it, let's go fight. Yeah,

359
00:23:34,559 --> 00:23:37,680
no, let's fight stuff. Let's
take They're basically like land pirates now

360
00:23:37,720 --> 00:23:42,160
they're they're Vikings essentially before Vikings,
right, yeah, a bit more organized,

361
00:23:42,200 --> 00:23:45,000
but yeah sure, yeah they have
they have like Viking school, I

362
00:23:45,000 --> 00:23:48,799
guess. Anyway, Um, esther
in Erxies are hitting it off. They're

363
00:23:48,839 --> 00:23:55,960
doing great. Um. Meanwhile,
the vice roy to Xerxes is you know,

364
00:23:56,519 --> 00:23:59,000
trying to get some more clout,
trying to be cool in front of

365
00:23:59,000 --> 00:24:02,960
people. Everyone one's bowing to him. His name is Hayman. Hayman is

366
00:24:03,000 --> 00:24:08,039
the vice roy and Mordecai, Esther's
niece will not bow to him and why

367
00:24:08,119 --> 00:24:11,079
is that? I couldn't find that. Oh so the reason why he does

368
00:24:11,119 --> 00:24:15,599
not bow to Hayman is because in
Jewish faith, you don't bow to anybody.

369
00:24:17,039 --> 00:24:22,240
You don't bow to figures as he
was bowing to kings. You don't

370
00:24:22,240 --> 00:24:25,720
bow like you might bow to er. I don't know, but like you

371
00:24:25,759 --> 00:24:27,599
don't bow to some vice. You're
not gonna do it for some fucking vice,

372
00:24:27,680 --> 00:24:30,640
right, No, it better be
like the guy that's like the top

373
00:24:30,720 --> 00:24:33,240
dude. But yeah, you're really
not supposed to bow for idols, kings,

374
00:24:33,279 --> 00:24:38,039
any political figure, anyone of any
status. It's reserved for uh you

375
00:24:38,039 --> 00:24:45,680
know, yes, So so no
Jewish like samurai or Ninja's kraftmagah. Yeah,

376
00:24:47,279 --> 00:24:49,920
so you get what is it?
What is the Israeli secret police?

377
00:24:51,119 --> 00:24:53,799
The massa. Yeah, Massad is
the closest thing you have. The Jewish

378
00:24:53,880 --> 00:24:57,200
ninjas. Okay, they don't bow. Jewish ninjas were invent in like nineteen

379
00:24:57,279 --> 00:25:00,119
forty nine, yeah, right after
they made it Israel. Yeah basically,

380
00:25:00,759 --> 00:25:03,680
um, yeah, so he's not
balanced him and this piss is well,

381
00:25:03,720 --> 00:25:07,960
do you recognize Israel as a country
or do I reckon, you're gonna ask

382
00:25:08,000 --> 00:25:12,880
me about the Israeli Palestinian conflict.
Right now, that's where you want this

383
00:25:12,960 --> 00:25:18,400
to go. If it exists as
a country, it's some sites don't recognize

384
00:25:18,400 --> 00:25:21,440
it as a real country. Do
you recognize it as a country. I

385
00:25:21,480 --> 00:25:23,559
don't know. I don't know enough
about the the issues. Wow, there

386
00:25:23,559 --> 00:25:26,960
we go. That's the clip.
That's the clip that gets put across Dan's

387
00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:29,759
face. Yeah. No, what's
funny is like that could actually be seen

388
00:25:29,759 --> 00:25:33,759
as more liberal now actually, yeah, it's a very left wing position to

389
00:25:33,839 --> 00:25:37,640
be like fuck Israel. That's very
conservative. Honestly, the conservatives are the

390
00:25:37,640 --> 00:25:41,440
ones that are like Israel is reel
and now yeah, well it's like it's

391
00:25:41,640 --> 00:25:44,839
do they're they're college campuses with the
Israeli flag. People are like take it

392
00:25:44,880 --> 00:25:48,079
down, that's hate. Yeah.
Well it's kind of hard to not see

393
00:25:48,119 --> 00:25:51,799
both sides of that. Like well
right, I'm not I'm not like it,

394
00:25:52,000 --> 00:25:56,680
like it's really it's really clean.
It's reely colonial expansion into the like

395
00:25:56,400 --> 00:26:00,400
the outer banks of Israel. I
can't call it colonialism if it's like five

396
00:26:00,440 --> 00:26:04,799
square miles, but it's I really
can't. Yeah, they just keep like

397
00:26:04,880 --> 00:26:10,880
banning power just eminent domain. Yeah, but it's like also taking advantage of

398
00:26:10,920 --> 00:26:15,599
people. That's fair, the Palestinians. And to be fair, you can't

399
00:26:15,640 --> 00:26:18,960
think someone that liked Jews made the
Israel Plan. It's like, where should

400
00:26:18,960 --> 00:26:22,519
we put the displace shom right in
the middle of the Middle East where everyone

401
00:26:22,559 --> 00:26:25,799
hates them. Well, that's where
they're from. Yeah, but it's historically

402
00:26:25,839 --> 00:26:27,960
where they're from. Well, it's
not like they put them in Antarctica.

403
00:26:29,079 --> 00:26:33,079
Now that's just would have been sick. Jerusalem's overrated. Yeah, no,

404
00:26:33,119 --> 00:26:37,279
I mean we're gonna get into that. On the other side, why do

405
00:26:37,359 --> 00:26:42,160
so many people care about Jerusalem the
Holy Temple to do with the end of

406
00:26:42,160 --> 00:26:45,000
the world. That's the best scene
and you can move them of heaven.

407
00:26:45,920 --> 00:26:49,680
When Orlando blooms, like, I
swear to God, if you try to

408
00:26:49,720 --> 00:26:53,039
take the city, I will tear
down every holy place you're is mine,

409
00:26:53,279 --> 00:26:57,880
and Saladein's like, yeah, better
if you did. Yeah, it's like

410
00:26:57,920 --> 00:27:00,759
he literally that's the line. He's
like, well he says it like like

411
00:27:00,960 --> 00:27:04,119
with the Middle East, and it's
like it might I wonder if it would

412
00:27:04,160 --> 00:27:07,519
not be better or if you did
or something like that, but it's still

413
00:27:07,640 --> 00:27:08,440
you know, yeah, no,
I mean, and I was like,

414
00:27:10,240 --> 00:27:12,680
maybe I would have been yeah,
probably could call yeah um yeah. No.

415
00:27:12,759 --> 00:27:17,480
The whole reason though that he doesn't
bow is because that's reserved for God,

416
00:27:17,960 --> 00:27:21,279
and so hayman um is like this
morte kime, motherfucker's not bounding me.

417
00:27:21,279 --> 00:27:23,759
I'm the vice Werxes like fuck this. You know what. He's Jewish?

418
00:27:23,880 --> 00:27:27,880
Right, yeah? Jewish? Fuck
Jews, Fuck all Jews. Every

419
00:27:27,960 --> 00:27:32,160
Jew in this city is going to
die now. Yeah. It was in

420
00:27:32,200 --> 00:27:34,680
the empire, I thought, in
the Persian Empire, which the Persian Empire

421
00:27:34,680 --> 00:27:37,839
at that time was the largest empire
in the world. Yeah, it was

422
00:27:37,920 --> 00:27:41,359
huge. So this was right,
Not right? This is a bit before

423
00:27:41,240 --> 00:27:47,119
Alexander the Great. Well okay,
so so this was Xerxes was the one

424
00:27:47,160 --> 00:27:52,480
who fought uh, like we said, um, Thermopoli against the Spartans.

425
00:27:52,279 --> 00:27:56,079
Uh. Not Marathon, though I
have to look up who was Marathon.

426
00:27:56,559 --> 00:28:00,279
Anyway, it would be the modern
day equivalent of if Bernie Sanders and bow

427
00:28:00,359 --> 00:28:02,599
to Mike Pence or shake his hand, and Mike Pence was like, let's

428
00:28:02,599 --> 00:28:04,960
go all the Jews in America.
Right, Yeah, it wouldn't mean Bernie

429
00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:11,200
Sanders because he's famous, right,
It would be like a literal random yeah,

430
00:28:11,519 --> 00:28:14,839
yeah, like what are you Goldman. Yeah, all right, Jews

431
00:28:14,839 --> 00:28:21,920
God Yeah. Yeah. Uh So
Hayman casts lots or rolls dice basically to

432
00:28:21,920 --> 00:28:26,799
determine a day when all the Jews
are going to be all of them exterminated,

433
00:28:26,240 --> 00:28:30,960
and that action is called a poor
um where you're casting lots, that's

434
00:28:30,960 --> 00:28:33,720
where the term for the holiday comes. Meanwhile, how does it become a

435
00:28:33,759 --> 00:28:38,640
fucking piece of salmon on a bagel? That's locks. It's the same thing,

436
00:28:38,720 --> 00:28:41,680
lots, is what I'm saying casting
lots. Dan was like, I'm

437
00:28:41,680 --> 00:28:45,160
afraid to talk because I don't want
to say anything anti semantic. And the

438
00:28:45,240 --> 00:28:48,440
last few things he said, where
fuck it? Like Israel isn't real?

439
00:28:49,039 --> 00:28:56,240
And uh, you like eating your
locks, Doe boy, like out of

440
00:28:56,319 --> 00:29:00,880
left field with like salmon jokes over
here, It's like, maybe what's up

441
00:29:00,880 --> 00:29:04,880
with that steak fish bagel? Nose? Bitch? It just seems weird,

442
00:29:04,920 --> 00:29:11,200
man, you said, since I
know what to be offensive, just terrible.

443
00:29:11,279 --> 00:29:15,839
Yeah. Um. Meanwhile, while
Hayman's doing this plot to kill all

444
00:29:15,880 --> 00:29:21,359
the shoes, um, Mordecai learns
of a plot to assassinate sixes in the

445
00:29:22,240 --> 00:29:25,799
castle or whatever in some sort of
fortress there's palace. Yeah, palace.

446
00:29:25,839 --> 00:29:27,759
There's some Yeah, let's be as
offensive as possible. The mud hut,

447
00:29:29,559 --> 00:29:32,640
that's no, not not for him, not for him, but the mud

448
00:29:32,640 --> 00:29:34,640
palace. No, No, he
lived in a nice place. Yeah,

449
00:29:36,319 --> 00:29:38,839
man, Yeah, gold palace.
Yeah, there you go. Probably was

450
00:29:38,880 --> 00:29:44,000
and it's probably like a fuck palace. Yeah, dude, like he left

451
00:29:44,000 --> 00:29:47,039
a chick for not getting naked for
his boys. It's definitely a yeah,

452
00:29:47,039 --> 00:29:48,079
it wasn't a mud hut. It
was a fun palace. Yeah. So

453
00:29:48,519 --> 00:29:53,039
just there's just all kinds of holes
getting on hold. Yeah, filled up

454
00:29:53,279 --> 00:30:00,000
for sure, it's lugged. There's
anymore, yess No, that's the okay.

455
00:30:00,079 --> 00:30:07,799
Yeah. So Mordecai basically saved erxes
life and never gets recognized for it,

456
00:30:07,599 --> 00:30:11,640
like just you know, accidentally kind
of yeah, just kind of like

457
00:30:11,920 --> 00:30:15,000
true heroes that really never get recognized
you don't ask for it, and he

458
00:30:15,039 --> 00:30:18,759
never did, and so um,
you know that kind of that's an important

459
00:30:18,839 --> 00:30:25,920
note later. So basically I think
the Viceroy Hayman is like, hey,

460
00:30:26,079 --> 00:30:30,000
Erxes, I need you to issue
this role to cree where for killing Jews,

461
00:30:30,000 --> 00:30:33,279
for killing Jews, YadA YadA,
and Hayman not Hyman. Xerxes is

462
00:30:33,279 --> 00:30:37,039
all like yeah, sure, whatever, I gotta I gotta fuck my bitches.

463
00:30:37,039 --> 00:30:40,119
If this is not important to you, Hayman, and like, by

464
00:30:40,119 --> 00:30:41,799
the way, this is a good
time to bring up. I don't know

465
00:30:41,839 --> 00:30:47,359
if you knew this or remembered this. I remember this while reading it.

466
00:30:47,400 --> 00:30:49,960
I didn't know it beforehand or whatever, um or I didn't know the origin

467
00:30:51,000 --> 00:30:55,319
of this beforehand. Do you remember
the South Park episode Jubilee, Yes,

468
00:30:55,480 --> 00:31:00,319
Jewish camp one Jewish macaroni art,
Yes, yeah, the thing from Tron

469
00:31:00,039 --> 00:31:10,920
Daza the bad guys Hayman. Yeah, Hayman is the bad the demon that

470
00:31:10,920 --> 00:31:15,079
the that the living bad guy like
summons to attack the Jewish boy Scout cam

471
00:31:15,319 --> 00:31:19,079
right. It's pretty funny. Yeah. Yeah, And I didn't put that.

472
00:31:19,359 --> 00:31:22,240
I put that together this evening.
Yeah. No, that's that's correct.

473
00:31:22,400 --> 00:31:26,240
Yeah, yeah, there it's it's
one of them is Jewish. I'm

474
00:31:26,240 --> 00:31:33,960
pretty sure what Tray Stone or Matt
Matt Stone and Trey Parker Jewish. Yeah,

475
00:31:33,200 --> 00:31:36,880
no, there's some really good little
Jewish. Oh yeah, in there.

476
00:31:37,400 --> 00:31:40,119
That's a deep cut. I feel
like it's extremely deep because you didn't

477
00:31:40,119 --> 00:31:42,400
even know what Porum was. I
thought you you told me what Poorum was

478
00:31:42,480 --> 00:31:47,920
yesterday. I mean why else would
you get this reference other than no this

479
00:31:48,039 --> 00:31:52,240
holiday. Yeah, yeah, it's
Hayman isn't mentioned at all except for this

480
00:31:52,279 --> 00:31:57,279
story in the Book of Esther,
So um, yeah, sou Zerxes is

481
00:31:57,319 --> 00:32:00,480
like, yeah, yeah, you
know, if this is so important to

482
00:32:00,480 --> 00:32:04,599
you, Hayman troubling, Yeah right, yeah, yeah, kill the it's

483
00:32:04,839 --> 00:32:07,039
kill these like eighty thousand people.
They kind of YadA YadA this part.

484
00:32:07,200 --> 00:32:12,200
Ye're like, why is he so
just dope with this, Like you're just

485
00:32:12,200 --> 00:32:15,160
gonna kind of go against all the
things that made you a great empire because

486
00:32:15,200 --> 00:32:17,480
Hayman's really just making it a problem
for right, this is this is very

487
00:32:17,640 --> 00:32:22,279
I mean, you know, actually
they probably it's still an ancient empire.

488
00:32:22,319 --> 00:32:29,599
They slaughtered people all the time.
Yeah, but usually I think with the

489
00:32:29,599 --> 00:32:36,960
Persians it was rare to if if
not totally un never happened to do it

490
00:32:37,000 --> 00:32:39,200
like that, right where it's just
like we're gonna kill these people that aren't

491
00:32:39,200 --> 00:32:43,400
doing anything. Yeah, it's one
thing if you conquer a new place and

492
00:32:43,440 --> 00:32:47,000
they're unruly or somebody rebels, yeah, then they would do it. Like

493
00:32:47,039 --> 00:32:51,519
there's it's still you know, six
hundred and seven hundred BC. Whatever.

494
00:32:51,960 --> 00:32:54,359
Yeah, So I think This is
where I'm gonna get a little jumbled up

495
00:32:54,400 --> 00:32:59,559
here. Hayman tells every or not
Hayman. Mordecai tells everybody about Hayman's plan,

496
00:32:59,680 --> 00:33:05,400
and so did jew start like quietly
protesting. What I read was he

497
00:33:05,720 --> 00:33:12,039
told Esther out, and Esther started
like or heat No. Yeah, Mordecai

498
00:33:12,039 --> 00:33:14,920
finds out first, and he started
He wore like a burlap sack and covered

499
00:33:14,960 --> 00:33:16,720
himself an ash. Yeah, out
of the morning. Yeah. Basically he

500
00:33:16,799 --> 00:33:19,960
was like, we're all gonna die, like that was his plan. He's

501
00:33:20,119 --> 00:33:22,319
like, oh no, it's it's
the end. Yeah, it was kind

502
00:33:22,319 --> 00:33:25,240
of it was like to draw attention
to the fact they knew about it.

503
00:33:25,519 --> 00:33:30,359
He also asked Esther like, hey, now's the time to do something,

504
00:33:30,400 --> 00:33:32,279
and Ester's like, I was a
god made, God made you queen to

505
00:33:32,319 --> 00:33:36,200
stop this. Yeah. Ester's like
I'm not sure, and He's like,

506
00:33:36,200 --> 00:33:38,119
no, no, Esther, go
talk to your husband like he's literally the

507
00:33:38,200 --> 00:33:44,000
leader of the world. So,
um, I'm gonna get a little bit

508
00:33:44,039 --> 00:33:46,079
more mixed up here, but I'm
pretty sure. At some point, Mordecai

509
00:33:46,200 --> 00:33:51,480
is at a dinner at a feast
at Zerxy's table, and Hayman is there

510
00:33:52,160 --> 00:33:57,000
two, and again Mordecai doesn't bow
to him, and like Hayman's like,

511
00:33:57,079 --> 00:33:59,920
yeah, there is a second time
where he doesn't bow, and Hayman gets

512
00:34:00,039 --> 00:34:01,279
even more piste off. He's like, well, little do they know,

513
00:34:01,319 --> 00:34:05,640
I'm killing all of them. Motherfucker's
so right, And like during the dinner,

514
00:34:05,720 --> 00:34:08,000
he's like, he tells his servants
to start building a gallows for Mordechai

515
00:34:08,039 --> 00:34:10,360
for the next night. He's,
yeah, we're gonna kick this thing off

516
00:34:10,400 --> 00:34:14,679
with the fucking Mordechai's yeah, he's
gonna be the first one, and then

517
00:34:14,679 --> 00:34:16,960
we're gonna the rest of the Jews, and I believe at that dinner.

518
00:34:17,079 --> 00:34:22,880
After that dinner, Mordechai goes up
to Xerxes like, hey, so you

519
00:34:22,880 --> 00:34:25,400
remember when those guys we're gonna kill
you. I think I thought Esther told

520
00:34:25,480 --> 00:34:30,519
Xerxes, Oh maybe day Esther told
Xerxes that Mordechai saved yeah. Ery.

521
00:34:30,719 --> 00:34:37,199
At some point, Zerxes becomes aware
that Mordechai saved his life, and uh,

522
00:34:37,639 --> 00:34:39,519
zerxies like, oh my god,
like, thank you so much.

523
00:34:39,840 --> 00:34:43,079
Yeah, well, he knew it
a lot. His life had been saved,

524
00:34:43,159 --> 00:34:45,360
he just didn't know by whom.
And he yeah, and he didn't

525
00:34:45,400 --> 00:34:49,880
realize that whoever saved him hadn't been
rewarded, right, and he was like,

526
00:34:49,880 --> 00:34:51,719
oh, fuck, well we got
to reward him then. Yeah.

527
00:34:51,800 --> 00:34:57,760
And so it's funny because at that
moment um Hayman walks back in while Xerxes

528
00:34:57,840 --> 00:35:04,719
is in the talking to more Guy
and Hayman or sorry, I'm getting my

529
00:35:04,800 --> 00:35:07,119
names mixed up. Xerxes looks to
Hayman and says, we need to get

530
00:35:07,159 --> 00:35:10,239
this man like the King's horse,
Like, well, no, he asked

531
00:35:10,639 --> 00:35:14,400
what I read was? He asked
Hayman. He's like, how should we

532
00:35:14,480 --> 00:35:17,519
honor the man who saved my life? Oh? Specifying who it was?

533
00:35:17,639 --> 00:35:22,119
Hayman thought it was him, Yeah, was like you should put him on

534
00:35:22,159 --> 00:35:27,039
your horse, dressed in like glorious
robes or something, rubies whatever, you

535
00:35:27,079 --> 00:35:30,280
know. Sure, and like because
Haymond raided him around, because Hayman thinks

536
00:35:30,320 --> 00:35:32,079
he's doing a coronation for himself,
right, so he's trying to get his

537
00:35:32,079 --> 00:35:35,800
come up and he's like, you're
absolutely right, Haymon, get all that

538
00:35:35,840 --> 00:35:38,239
shit from Mordechai. Yeah, And
Hayman's like what He's like, yeah,

539
00:35:38,320 --> 00:35:42,920
Mordechai is saved my life. Also, jew Yeah, and then Mordka is

540
00:35:43,079 --> 00:35:46,920
also also also all that's great,
but um, can you not kill all

541
00:35:46,960 --> 00:35:51,320
the Jews? Yeah? And work
and Zerkey is like, oh, well

542
00:35:51,360 --> 00:35:53,760
I made that a law, so
I can't under that. Well no,

543
00:35:54,000 --> 00:35:57,639
first he found out, how are
you correcting me on all? You're probably

544
00:35:58,079 --> 00:36:00,679
Jews playing the shit out? Yeah, you're just Christ I'm Christ splaining.

545
00:36:01,000 --> 00:36:05,000
Fuck yeah, no, no,
No, what happened was is that What

546
00:36:05,280 --> 00:36:07,679
happened was just he's taken over.
Now, No, that's fine. I'm

547
00:36:07,719 --> 00:36:10,880
going from like memory, I just
sent you too, I mean I read

548
00:36:10,920 --> 00:36:15,760
this. No, I'm going from
like Sunday school memory. Okay. What

549
00:36:15,880 --> 00:36:25,159
happened was is that, um,
Mordecai got his Like Hayman was furious and

550
00:36:25,239 --> 00:36:30,039
like ran out or something like that, and Esther was like, oh,

551
00:36:30,159 --> 00:36:36,000
by the way, yeah, he
wanted to kill all the Jews, including

552
00:36:36,039 --> 00:36:40,320
the man who saved your life,
Mordecai, right, because Mordechai offended him

553
00:36:40,400 --> 00:36:46,280
Mordecaikai who saved your life. And
Xerxes was like what the fuck and was

554
00:36:46,400 --> 00:36:52,440
furious and ordered Hayman to be hanged
in the gallows he built for Mordechai.

555
00:36:52,639 --> 00:36:58,480
Right, But there's another piece to
it okay, so and you're probably gonna

556
00:36:58,480 --> 00:37:00,360
correct me on this though. He's
like, well, we can't end that

557
00:37:00,440 --> 00:37:06,039
decree that yeah. So but that
was after they killed him, I think,

558
00:37:06,119 --> 00:37:07,679
yeah, well Xerxes was like,
that's a royal decree now, but

559
00:37:08,280 --> 00:37:10,719
toothpaste is out of the tube.
Yeah, you can put it back end,

560
00:37:10,920 --> 00:37:16,440
but you can make another decree that
I can issue where you can preemptively

561
00:37:16,519 --> 00:37:21,800
kill anyone you think is a threat. Right, And so because of that,

562
00:37:21,880 --> 00:37:24,519
I believe the Jews ended up killing
like eighty thousand people. Yeah,

563
00:37:24,519 --> 00:37:30,119
I read I read about it was
about eighty the Jews. So this kind

564
00:37:30,119 --> 00:37:35,199
of gets overlook, it's a really
big hand wave. Like so to avoid

565
00:37:35,360 --> 00:37:39,320
getting exterminated, this is the total
massad move, by the way, uh,

566
00:37:39,639 --> 00:37:46,559
to avoid getting exterminated, the Jewish
population of the Persian Empire went ahead

567
00:37:46,679 --> 00:37:52,480
and went out and killed eighty thousand
people that they thought were going to kill

568
00:37:52,639 --> 00:38:00,840
them potentially maybe castle lawbe It was. It was like imagine if you went

569
00:38:00,880 --> 00:38:06,719
to like a dude you're beefens with
beef in with house and killed him and

570
00:38:06,800 --> 00:38:09,519
you were allowed to because it's like, well he said some shit, yeah,

571
00:38:09,559 --> 00:38:13,599
like you can't know. It's not
like they rolled up to your house.

572
00:38:13,639 --> 00:38:15,280
You went into the streets and murdered
some people. Like I don't know

573
00:38:15,320 --> 00:38:19,960
how they came up with eighty thousand
people though, Like there's just eighty thousand

574
00:38:20,000 --> 00:38:22,320
folks we think are going to hurt
them. I know. It's more like

575
00:38:22,320 --> 00:38:24,880
going to a Walgreens and somebody side
eyes you and then you just stabbed them

576
00:38:24,880 --> 00:38:28,639
in the neck. Yeah, yeah, like that, and it's like that's

577
00:38:28,679 --> 00:38:31,400
a lot. I can do that. Yeah, I can just murder your

578
00:38:31,440 --> 00:38:36,000
face. What's crazy, by the
way, is I was gonna be like,

579
00:38:36,119 --> 00:38:39,320
that's so many. I mean it
is, but like so many people,

580
00:38:39,360 --> 00:38:45,599
like not that many people are alive
back then. But the population of

581
00:38:45,599 --> 00:38:50,119
the Persian Empire around this time,
they say the height of the population of

582
00:38:50,119 --> 00:38:52,320
the Persian Empire was five hundred BC. Let me look at the Battle of

583
00:38:52,320 --> 00:38:58,480
the Poulal quick. Sure, but
you could argue that the Jewish community here

584
00:38:58,519 --> 00:39:01,920
though, it was very proactive with
a climate change. So at this time,

585
00:39:02,119 --> 00:39:06,360
at this time, this happened in
like four a DBC around that and

586
00:39:06,440 --> 00:39:10,239
the four late early five whatever,
fifty million was the population with the Persian

587
00:39:10,239 --> 00:39:14,480
Empire. I mean, that's that
actually makes sense. It was really big.

588
00:39:14,519 --> 00:39:17,320
But over the course of fifty million
sound humongous for that time period.

589
00:39:17,559 --> 00:39:23,440
Yeah, I mean it does kind
of. But spread that's a huge area

590
00:39:23,519 --> 00:39:29,960
too, though, Like that's over
how many miles like or kilometers whatever you

591
00:39:29,960 --> 00:39:32,239
want to call it. What's the
metric? What is the metric unit?

592
00:39:32,239 --> 00:39:37,599
For people in the metric sys it's
about the same as um the Roman Empire

593
00:39:37,599 --> 00:39:42,679
at its height. Yeah, that
was five Well, one thing I'm saying

594
00:39:42,679 --> 00:39:45,239
says one hundred and twenty million,
but fifty five to sixty five million is

595
00:39:45,280 --> 00:39:50,400
like the accepted range. Okay,
well yeah, so, I mean it's

596
00:39:50,440 --> 00:39:52,400
still kind of crazy though that they
just were like, yeah, you got

597
00:39:52,400 --> 00:39:53,800
carte blanch to just go kill some
other fun Yeah. Well yeah, well

598
00:39:53,840 --> 00:39:59,840
I can't unkill you. Yeah,
so I'll put out a new one that

599
00:40:00,039 --> 00:40:04,400
lets you kill them before they can
kill you, and then that's good.

600
00:40:04,440 --> 00:40:07,239
We're good. That's the most insane
part of that to me. It's like,

601
00:40:07,360 --> 00:40:13,119
I can't say no to this in
an empire where laws are literally made

602
00:40:13,199 --> 00:40:17,239
up Yeah by him, Yeah,
he can't be like, well I can't

603
00:40:17,960 --> 00:40:21,280
because I think it's almost I can't
put that rabbit back in the hat.

604
00:40:21,360 --> 00:40:22,360
Yeah, it's like that's going against
them. I could take out a new

605
00:40:22,440 --> 00:40:27,880
rabbit, yeah, a better rabbit, but I can pull a turtle out.

606
00:40:28,000 --> 00:40:30,679
Yeah, it's this rabbit. It's
so fucking weird. Anyway, So

607
00:40:30,719 --> 00:40:35,199
that is the story of Pham,
and they celebrated we there was a there,

608
00:40:35,199 --> 00:40:37,280
there was a big feast. There's
a big feast for the slaughter of

609
00:40:37,440 --> 00:40:44,400
eighty thousand people, mainly hayman Um. Yeah. But so it's a feast,

610
00:40:44,719 --> 00:40:49,559
it's a holiday that basically. The
interesting thing that I was reading about

611
00:40:49,559 --> 00:40:53,199
it too, is that it doesn't
mention God once. God is not mentioned

612
00:40:53,239 --> 00:40:59,840
in this holiday, but in like
the actual tradition of celebrating it. Well,

613
00:41:00,119 --> 00:41:04,000
yeah, God doesn't even intervene.
It's God doesn't play a part in

614
00:41:04,000 --> 00:41:07,639
it. God's not like Esther save
these people, right, there's no Mordecai

615
00:41:07,840 --> 00:41:10,079
is like, I think God put
you here to help us not get murdered.

616
00:41:10,079 --> 00:41:14,440
But there's no like direct godly.
It's not like Daniel in the Lions

617
00:41:15,039 --> 00:41:22,000
series a god though God in his
mind, he is different, different religion.

618
00:41:22,159 --> 00:41:25,480
Yeah, so bro the whole for
him. He still thinks he's God.

619
00:41:25,559 --> 00:41:29,320
Of course, that's why he can't
undo his own laws because then he'd

620
00:41:29,360 --> 00:41:32,679
be going against the word word God
himself. Yeah. But so it's about

621
00:41:32,719 --> 00:41:36,920
how God lives in all of us. And you know there's bravery in it,

622
00:41:37,000 --> 00:41:39,000
right, you don't bow to this
guy like you stand up for what

623
00:41:39,039 --> 00:41:44,119
you believe in. Um. But
more importantly, it's a holiday modernly,

624
00:41:44,679 --> 00:41:47,280
Yeah, so what is what is
the modern celebration of this? You're supposed

625
00:41:47,280 --> 00:41:51,159
to get as fucked up as possible. That is like one of the main

626
00:41:51,239 --> 00:41:54,119
tenants of the holiday. So pooram
is celebrated, like Rob said, around

627
00:41:54,159 --> 00:41:59,000
the time of Marti Gras, and
it is kind of like now a mix

628
00:41:59,079 --> 00:42:02,039
of how weeen and in a lot
of ways it is you're Marty gra too,

629
00:42:02,039 --> 00:42:07,559
because it's it basically happens like forty
days before passover, right, yeah,

630
00:42:07,719 --> 00:42:12,199
which is just like Marty Grass literally
forty or forty one days, just

631
00:42:12,320 --> 00:42:15,960
forty days of lent and Marty Grass
not lent, so l forty one days

632
00:42:16,000 --> 00:42:21,960
before. Yeah. But yeah,
and it's like our big fucking feast today.

633
00:42:22,159 --> 00:42:24,639
So what what happens is everyone dresses
up in costume. There's a couple

634
00:42:24,719 --> 00:42:28,320
of mis vokes or like commandments you're
supposed to do on the holiday. One

635
00:42:28,360 --> 00:42:30,519
is you're supposed to read the entire
story of Esther, and you're supposed to

636
00:42:30,519 --> 00:42:34,280
hear it um a lot of times. Now I think women actually read it

637
00:42:34,280 --> 00:42:37,599
too, which is normally common.
Yeah, feminism, Yeah, so that's

638
00:42:37,639 --> 00:42:42,719
always big. I helped kill eighty
thousand people. Women are job yeah,

639
00:42:42,800 --> 00:42:47,199
fierce No. Then m children get
noisemakers, and anytime the name Hayman is

640
00:42:47,239 --> 00:42:52,039
read during the reading, kids try
to drown out the name of Hayman ye

641
00:42:52,519 --> 00:42:57,599
um, and he must not be
named. Essentially, he's basically Voldemort yeah

642
00:42:57,960 --> 00:43:00,000
um like but not good at it. He's also the descendant. There was

643
00:43:00,000 --> 00:43:05,519
something weird about He's like the descendant
of Almec, which is also like a

644
00:43:05,519 --> 00:43:09,639
trimordial enemy of Jews to yea,
how convenient? Yeah right, so like

645
00:43:10,039 --> 00:43:15,199
Islam came from Ishmael, Yeah exactly
thing yeah yeah um so. But then

646
00:43:15,440 --> 00:43:19,679
mainly what I was getting to is
the reason that people get sucked up.

647
00:43:19,679 --> 00:43:22,559
So people get fucked up like in
the streets, and it's not like there's

648
00:43:22,599 --> 00:43:28,119
like actual rabbiitical arguments about this,
like how fucked up you're supposed to get?

649
00:43:28,519 --> 00:43:30,760
And some people are like, well, you're supposed to a certain bac

650
00:43:30,159 --> 00:43:34,840
yeah, like it's it's argued on
because people are Rabbis are like, do

651
00:43:35,000 --> 00:43:38,159
we really need to get like as
drunk as possible to celebrate this holiday?

652
00:43:38,639 --> 00:43:42,719
And the short long answer is yeah, you have to, like it's your

653
00:43:42,800 --> 00:43:45,960
duty to get really fucked up.
And the reason for this is you're not

654
00:43:45,960 --> 00:43:50,559
supposed to be able to distinguish the
phrasing of like oh, cursed his Hayman

655
00:43:50,639 --> 00:43:53,199
or blessed his Mordecai in Hebrew.
You're not to be able to supposed be

656
00:43:53,239 --> 00:43:58,400
so drunk you can't like understand words. Yeah, not, you can't understand

657
00:43:58,400 --> 00:44:00,519
words, and you don't recognize the
guy's face when you see it, Hayman's

658
00:44:00,559 --> 00:44:04,599
face, Hayman's face. Yeah,
you're supposed to not even know. So.

659
00:44:05,039 --> 00:44:07,559
Yeah, people dress up and call
it's basically hoween Marti grab people dressed

660
00:44:07,639 --> 00:44:12,719
up in costumes and just blackout drunk. They get blackout drunk. The people

661
00:44:12,760 --> 00:44:15,360
that are in the fringe of the
rabbidical side of it, where they're like,

662
00:44:15,719 --> 00:44:17,920
no, it's not you're not supposed
to get that fucked up. They're

663
00:44:17,920 --> 00:44:21,760
in the fringe, like the majority
of people, it is accepted that you

664
00:44:21,800 --> 00:44:25,920
are supposed to be blackout. So
does this include And this is always curious

665
00:44:25,920 --> 00:44:30,039
to me because I grew up in
a part of Saint Louis in University City

666
00:44:30,639 --> 00:44:36,519
that was like that was where the
Orthodox Jews lived in Saint Louis, and

667
00:44:36,559 --> 00:44:40,840
I, like I grew I grew
up within walking distance of two Orthodox temples

668
00:44:42,000 --> 00:44:45,960
and then like four other temples.
Yeah, like within walking it's about of

669
00:44:45,000 --> 00:44:50,280
a huge Jewish community where I live
in University City. But I never I

670
00:44:50,320 --> 00:44:52,559
guess I don't remember. Maybe it
just happened at like house parties. Does

671
00:44:52,599 --> 00:44:59,239
it do the Orthodox Jews like the
really stayed prude look kind of looking ones

672
00:44:59,280 --> 00:45:02,480
that you see in like clinner,
Yeah? Yeah, do they do it

673
00:45:02,480 --> 00:45:08,599
too? Like do they get shit
house for their rap concert for modest yahoo?

674
00:45:08,679 --> 00:45:12,440
Yeah? Right before right, King
without a crown? Right, that

675
00:45:12,519 --> 00:45:15,199
was a big beard though, So
it doesn't he's not he's not Orthodox anymore.

676
00:45:15,239 --> 00:45:19,039
But he's a handsome man. Yeah, he is a very handsome.

677
00:45:19,039 --> 00:45:20,880
But no, do they do that
too or is it or like is it

678
00:45:20,920 --> 00:45:23,280
more like the casual I'm pretty sure
they do that. They probably do it

679
00:45:23,320 --> 00:45:27,159
in a less fun way. Yeah, they probably get sucked up and then

680
00:45:27,159 --> 00:45:29,679
go right to bed. Well,
or they get fucked up and they do

681
00:45:29,719 --> 00:45:32,039
like Russian dancing in their house type
of yeah, probably kicking their feet up,

682
00:45:32,119 --> 00:45:35,719
yeah kind of thing. Yeah.
Probably, Um, I'm sure they

683
00:45:35,840 --> 00:45:37,599
do, but it's not quite in
the streets with them. No, it's

684
00:45:37,639 --> 00:45:40,639
as opposed to like tell Aviv,
where yeah, you're not going to see

685
00:45:40,679 --> 00:45:44,440
them in costume and shit. Okay, well that's what that's what it's curious

686
00:45:44,440 --> 00:45:46,519
about, because it's there is costume
though, I mean they might have costume.

687
00:45:46,559 --> 00:45:51,559
They're gonna be tossing around some Western
grip hand jobs during this night,

688
00:45:51,639 --> 00:45:53,119
Yeah, because they're getting so fucked
up, they're just gonna kind of you

689
00:45:53,159 --> 00:45:58,119
know, some Western grip han you
think Orthodox chose jagging each other off on

690
00:45:58,239 --> 00:46:00,800
poor him. But it's poor um, so he said, poor m perm

691
00:46:00,480 --> 00:46:05,239
pureum. Yeah, they're celebrating all
right, and it's funny. It's just

692
00:46:06,079 --> 00:46:07,800
pour them. It's like pour them
up, pom out m pore them,

693
00:46:07,920 --> 00:46:12,559
pour of them shots. Um.
Yeah, I don't know where Dan was

694
00:46:12,559 --> 00:46:15,760
going with the Western grip hand job
thing. That's just how I imagine like

695
00:46:16,719 --> 00:46:20,639
craving a Western grip hand job is
that I've never actually I don't know if

696
00:46:20,639 --> 00:46:24,360
I've received one like you get that
at a bar, like from someone that's

697
00:46:24,360 --> 00:46:29,159
in front of you as you order. Yeah. Yeah, a lot of

698
00:46:29,199 --> 00:46:30,599
guys have done that to me.
Yeah. They just reaching your pants and

699
00:46:30,639 --> 00:46:35,679
give you old Westy Yeah yeah yeah, definitely on a part of Fourth Street

700
00:46:35,760 --> 00:46:38,400
for sure. Yeah. Oh in
this town, you means that sixth Street,

701
00:46:38,440 --> 00:46:43,360
baby. Yeah, you can get
it from anyone you want um anyway.

702
00:46:43,440 --> 00:46:45,599
Yeah. So the argument, I
guess for a lot of the more

703
00:46:46,000 --> 00:46:50,280
anti drinking people is like, no, you're supposed to have a couple extra

704
00:46:50,320 --> 00:46:52,760
glasses of wine, so you get
steepy right. When you're steep bee and

705
00:46:52,800 --> 00:46:55,400
you're tired and you put your little
head down. That's when you don't recognize

706
00:46:55,440 --> 00:47:00,000
anything. That's how you should celebrate
it. But that's lame up, stupid.

707
00:47:00,079 --> 00:47:02,280
Yeah, don't do that. Get
fucked up, bucked up, jerk

708
00:47:02,360 --> 00:47:07,440
each other off, and have yourself
a grandma. My argument is fuck Hanka,

709
00:47:07,719 --> 00:47:13,039
that has no good story. It's
about getting your asses, kicks and

710
00:47:13,199 --> 00:47:17,679
a light staying on right versus poor
hum where it's like, yo, marry

711
00:47:17,719 --> 00:47:22,119
the emperor and go kill your enemies
and also drink a fuck done and you're

712
00:47:22,159 --> 00:47:25,360
because we almost died. Yeah,
we almost died also, and also the

713
00:47:25,360 --> 00:47:30,199
other thing too, is it in
Hanaka with the whole with mcaviees and anything

714
00:47:30,239 --> 00:47:34,400
like, the Jewish people were not
under a threat of being wiped out?

715
00:47:34,559 --> 00:47:37,320
No, just being normal conquered.
Right. Can we get an Adam Sandler

716
00:47:37,400 --> 00:47:40,639
movie for this for Poorum, there
should be Yeah, that'd be good.

717
00:47:40,679 --> 00:47:45,320
I'd watch that out in Sandler movie
eight Crazy Hours about him blacking out during

718
00:47:45,400 --> 00:47:51,920
porehum and each gets time travels back
to the book of esther Times eight ten

719
00:47:52,000 --> 00:47:57,280
thousand crazy murders, eighty thousand crazy
murders. Yeah, I think the blacking

720
00:47:57,280 --> 00:48:00,840
out drunk and going back in time
is probably yeah. Oh no, at

721
00:48:00,880 --> 00:48:04,440
the first Poorum, yeah, oh
man, this one was crazy. Yeah.

722
00:48:04,639 --> 00:48:08,239
Yeah, I don't know that would. I'm surprising. Is there anything

723
00:48:08,280 --> 00:48:16,159
in particular, um, in terms
of celebration that stands out to you on

724
00:48:16,199 --> 00:48:19,880
this holiday? Well, the drinking
obviously, like it is very much.

725
00:48:20,000 --> 00:48:22,960
Didn't you say something like kids weren't
just allowed it's not just making noise when

726
00:48:22,000 --> 00:48:24,400
they hear the name, but aren't
they allowed to just go batshit crazy?

727
00:48:24,559 --> 00:48:28,920
Oh? Yeah, kids do go
nuts, like you're just like the kids

728
00:48:28,920 --> 00:48:31,039
get to be like little assholes.
For the night. Yeah, they get

729
00:48:31,199 --> 00:48:37,400
it's basically like causing kids. It's
almost like almost like it's almost like Jewish

730
00:48:37,400 --> 00:48:40,000
people are like fuck man, like
they're like or actually what it is like

731
00:48:40,039 --> 00:48:44,320
it is like Jewish people are like
making a case that they should have been

732
00:48:44,320 --> 00:48:47,440
slaughtered. Yeah. No, well
that's your clip for Yeah, there's your

733
00:48:47,440 --> 00:48:52,360
clip for you. Yeah. Well
specifically with the little kids get to be

734
00:48:52,400 --> 00:48:54,280
the biggest assholes possible. Oh yeah, it's like, what do you think

735
00:48:54,280 --> 00:48:58,559
that's going to turn into later an
asshole older jew because they get to run

736
00:48:58,599 --> 00:49:01,119
around and did you say like the
play pranks or like poke people or something

737
00:49:01,119 --> 00:49:05,159
weird like that. I think you
might be getting mixed up the saturnalia.

738
00:49:05,840 --> 00:49:07,159
No, I thought there was something
in there too where they were just may

739
00:49:07,239 --> 00:49:10,480
they're just like allowed to run the
rooms and be like and then like yeah

740
00:49:10,480 --> 00:49:13,920
it's about making noise. Yeah,
like they but they just get to be

741
00:49:13,920 --> 00:49:17,119
like psychos. Yeah yeah, especially
you give them soda and pizza and they're

742
00:49:17,159 --> 00:49:21,159
just like that and that's like child
cocaine. Yeah right, No, they

743
00:49:21,239 --> 00:49:23,840
do allow them to just basically run
rampant. Yeah, crazy, it's it's

744
00:49:23,880 --> 00:49:28,000
about I think it's about release too, like it's it's like, oh God,

745
00:49:28,119 --> 00:49:31,400
like it's it's ecstasy from not having
to worried about being massaccred. So

746
00:49:31,440 --> 00:49:34,960
it's like, hey, blow off
some steam. It's basically a blow off

747
00:49:35,000 --> 00:49:37,719
some steam day. Yeah, like
just chill, like but not chill,

748
00:49:37,840 --> 00:49:42,800
go hard. That's gonna be a
good feeling that can most so the two

749
00:49:43,199 --> 00:49:49,159
of the three biggest Jewish holidays are
oh, we didn't get murdered. That's

750
00:49:49,199 --> 00:49:54,960
like most of Jewish scripture that it's
like, whoa who got out of Egypt

751
00:49:55,360 --> 00:50:00,519
didn't get murdered? No, I
mean it's I'm surprised we don't have one

752
00:50:00,039 --> 00:50:04,559
about like not being in the Holocaust
anymore, Like we didn't just like make

753
00:50:04,599 --> 00:50:08,639
a new holiday for that, like
whoo yeah, not in camps. Patton

754
00:50:08,679 --> 00:50:13,840
showed up, Yeah, Hey,
the Russians showed up, hooray kind of

755
00:50:14,280 --> 00:50:17,639
all the Russian showed up first.
Yeah, yeah, they both liberated camps.

756
00:50:19,480 --> 00:50:22,360
It just depends on where they were. Auschwitz was Russia first was,

757
00:50:22,400 --> 00:50:28,440
but Doc was the US. Yeah, Dakow actually being someone that's actually visited

758
00:50:28,519 --> 00:50:34,440
Doc. How it's fucking bananas how
close Doc hou is to um Munich.

759
00:50:35,119 --> 00:50:38,280
They do they have a gift shop
do they have a kind I don't remember.

760
00:50:38,280 --> 00:50:42,519
Of course they do. They might
not call it a gift shop,

761
00:50:42,760 --> 00:50:47,599
but yeah, there's somewhere the memorabilia. Why would you do that. I

762
00:50:47,599 --> 00:50:51,480
mean, I'm sure it goes to
like some sort of good cause. It's

763
00:50:51,519 --> 00:50:54,400
not gonna buy like a doc owl
hand towel. No, it's not.

764
00:50:54,599 --> 00:50:59,880
It's not like a country club or
you get like you're gonna talk out polo.

765
00:51:00,320 --> 00:51:01,760
No, it's not like that.
It's like, I'm sure there's some

766
00:51:01,760 --> 00:51:07,519
sort of like photos and I mean, like I book Fort Sumter has a

767
00:51:07,559 --> 00:51:12,119
gift shop. I'm trying to think
of other places where I don't know what

768
00:51:12,159 --> 00:51:15,199
happened at Fort Sumter. Are you
fucking kidding? Like, off the top

769
00:51:15,199 --> 00:51:20,079
of my head, now, that's
where the Civil War started. M okay,

770
00:51:21,639 --> 00:51:27,920
welcome dark, we fact check nothing. I have a friend, I

771
00:51:27,920 --> 00:51:30,159
have a buddy by the way,
who talks politics with me all the time,

772
00:51:30,760 --> 00:51:34,559
and I brought up the Boston massacre
because we're talking about police shootings and

773
00:51:34,599 --> 00:51:36,880
he was like, I don't know
what that is. And I was like,

774
00:51:36,960 --> 00:51:39,599
you talk about how much you love
America, yeah, constantly, Well

775
00:51:39,639 --> 00:51:45,400
that's you should. The Boston massacre
is like tier A. So is Fort

776
00:51:45,480 --> 00:51:51,559
Sumter, Jake, I don't know
started that? Did you not know it

777
00:51:51,599 --> 00:51:55,599
either? I didn't know what happened. It's where the Civil wars? Not

778
00:51:57,320 --> 00:51:59,960
well, I learned about the Civil
War in Florida. Yeah, I just

779
00:52:00,039 --> 00:52:04,239
so I had the alternative, Well
you were in Philadelphia. What's your fucking

780
00:52:04,320 --> 00:52:08,199
excuse? I learned that South Carolina
succeeded, and uh succeeded. They did

781
00:52:08,239 --> 00:52:13,039
not succeed They succeeded. They succeeded
in being the first state to succeed.

782
00:52:13,239 --> 00:52:15,760
Yeah. By the way, did
you you know what's funny is uh did

783
00:52:15,760 --> 00:52:19,519
you get super off topic here in
terms of sure, go ahead and keep

784
00:52:19,679 --> 00:52:24,079
keep on stomping over anything we say, go ahead? Rob what ouch um?

785
00:52:24,440 --> 00:52:29,559
South Carolina when Lincoln got elected,
actually celebrated his election. Oh really,

786
00:52:29,639 --> 00:52:32,199
because they were like, good,
we're finally get out of here.

787
00:52:32,559 --> 00:52:36,760
Yeah. Yeah, like that was
the straw. They were happy. They

788
00:52:36,760 --> 00:52:38,199
wanted him to win. They didn't
want the Democrat to win. They wanted

789
00:52:38,199 --> 00:52:42,079
this a seed. Yeah, and
so they're like, now we got a

790
00:52:42,199 --> 00:52:45,679
reason. It's people that a pro
gun when like Biden wins or any Democrat.

791
00:52:45,719 --> 00:52:49,079
I don't think I don't even think
pro guns are right when there it's

792
00:52:49,079 --> 00:52:53,280
like pro people that sell guns.
Oh yeah, oh yeah people are I

793
00:52:53,280 --> 00:52:57,800
mean any anybody when a Democrat wins, Yeah, seals go through the fucking

794
00:52:57,880 --> 00:53:00,800
roof. Yeah, n picks up
the rhetoric that you're guns are gonna get

795
00:53:00,000 --> 00:53:05,199
exactly. You know what's funny.
Guns have never been taken away, never

796
00:53:05,239 --> 00:53:08,159
will. There's more now than ever
yea, even by percentage. Yeah,

797
00:53:08,280 --> 00:53:10,800
not just by numbers, obviously,
by numbers, if more. But what's

798
00:53:10,840 --> 00:53:14,639
crazy too, like what's their number
of Like the number of guns per person

799
00:53:14,679 --> 00:53:17,079
in America is like, there's more
guns than there's Everyone bought a fucking gun

800
00:53:17,199 --> 00:53:21,920
during the March. I want to
know what that means though, because if

801
00:53:21,960 --> 00:53:24,440
that that can't just be private ownership. I bet you that stat because people

802
00:53:24,440 --> 00:53:28,199
fuck with stats all the time.
You think it includes the military? Yes,

803
00:53:28,480 --> 00:53:30,559
I do make sense, got it? That's private ownership though, that's

804
00:53:30,599 --> 00:53:35,159
wild. Yeah, it strikes me
as the type of thing where they'll take

805
00:53:35,199 --> 00:53:37,880
they'll count any fucking gun the same
way like with mass shootings. Oh where

806
00:53:37,880 --> 00:53:40,519
it's like if it's more than like
three people or something, and they'll count

807
00:53:40,760 --> 00:53:45,760
anything. Yeah where, but they
make it make they make you all like

808
00:53:45,800 --> 00:53:49,719
they always try to say, act
like it's like every single one is like

809
00:53:49,719 --> 00:53:52,920
a weird white male virgin like school
shooting kind of walking into a school.

810
00:53:52,960 --> 00:53:55,360
A lot of them are like drive
bys and stuff. A shit ton of

811
00:53:55,400 --> 00:54:00,480
them are like gang shootings and stuff. For Chicago. Yeah, I'm not

812
00:54:00,480 --> 00:54:05,199
trying to be like, but the
way that counts stats is that you're what

813
00:54:05,280 --> 00:54:07,960
you were sounding like that. I
mean, it is a travesty that so

814
00:54:08,079 --> 00:54:13,360
much game violence happens in South Chicago. But the point is is that they

815
00:54:13,440 --> 00:54:15,800
present they don't prevent those stats in
a way that gets that across. It's

816
00:54:15,840 --> 00:54:21,239
not happening in a school every single
time. Yeah, or even a post

817
00:54:21,239 --> 00:54:24,079
office. No, surprisingly, go
and post But anyway, Um, so

818
00:54:24,199 --> 00:54:27,039
yeah, I was trying. I
was thinking about this on the way here.

819
00:54:27,239 --> 00:54:30,760
Um, what's like, what is
the equivalent to get fucked up Holiday

820
00:54:30,800 --> 00:54:36,320
in Christianity? Mary? Oh yeah, Marty, Right, Well that's Catholicism.

821
00:54:36,440 --> 00:54:40,320
Yes, actually that is really just
Saint Patrick's Day Cathis. Yeah,

822
00:54:40,360 --> 00:54:44,239
we're all that's why. By the
way, I will say this all over

823
00:54:44,280 --> 00:54:46,199
and over again, especially to my
wife who was in Catholic or keep trying

824
00:54:46,199 --> 00:54:53,559
to convince the convert Catholicism is the
only cool Christian Uh yeah. Every other

825
00:54:53,639 --> 00:54:58,960
Christian sect is garbage and radical.
We are the only ones with the drinking

826
00:54:59,000 --> 00:55:02,519
holidays. There is no Baptist ship
faced holiday. We also stopped believing in

827
00:55:02,519 --> 00:55:06,480
God for like fifty years of our
life and then go back in our seventies.

828
00:55:06,880 --> 00:55:08,079
Yeah, so it's great. No, yeah, so Marti Gras,

829
00:55:08,119 --> 00:55:12,960
though, if you want to talk
about the release holiday, right, Marti

830
00:55:13,000 --> 00:55:16,440
Gras, is you're supposed to get
supposed to get all your wild shit out

831
00:55:16,440 --> 00:55:20,800
Tuesday, right, and then Lent
happens. Yes, However doing it all

832
00:55:20,840 --> 00:55:24,840
before the like ten days into Lent
is Saint Patrick's Day, whose cruel trick

833
00:55:24,920 --> 00:55:30,960
was that that's the devil temptation baby. Saint Patrick's Day is in what late

834
00:55:31,000 --> 00:55:35,039
March usually, right, he chased
out Late marks Man, he chased out

835
00:55:35,079 --> 00:55:37,599
the snakes. So I thought,
I don't know if this happened on the

836
00:55:37,639 --> 00:55:40,920
podcast or not where I thought like
the snakes was a reference to some group

837
00:55:40,960 --> 00:55:45,239
of people now just real snakes.
Yeah yeah, well I don't remember it

838
00:55:45,280 --> 00:55:46,519
was on the podcast either. But
Jake was like, wait, there were

839
00:55:46,599 --> 00:55:50,320
Like Jake was like, what were
the snakes? In reference to again,

840
00:55:50,440 --> 00:55:53,239
let's just snakes got rid of like
vikings or something, And I was like,

841
00:55:53,320 --> 00:55:55,920
no, it was it was just
snakes. He just they think he

842
00:55:57,039 --> 00:56:00,360
got rid of snakes. It wasn't
people. Yeah, that's like no literal

843
00:56:00,440 --> 00:56:06,719
snake people in the back. Yet, Like no, they meant snakes,

844
00:56:07,360 --> 00:56:13,360
Like were snakes a big problem the
devil? You know, the snakes are

845
00:56:13,400 --> 00:56:15,920
the data. That's so funny.
It's just like, yeah, sure,

846
00:56:16,000 --> 00:56:20,119
he's a snake. What was that? What was that like symbolism for us?

847
00:56:20,159 --> 00:56:24,239
Nothing? It was it was direct
symbolism of snakes. Yeah, so

848
00:56:24,320 --> 00:56:27,960
dumb. Look it's as funny as
fun though. It's like, we got

849
00:56:27,960 --> 00:56:30,960
a big drinking holiday. What's it
about this old dude got snakes? Oh

850
00:56:30,159 --> 00:56:35,920
well, he gave Catholicism the whole
island. He converted everyone there basically.

851
00:56:36,280 --> 00:56:37,519
Yes see, I felt like the
snakes are the people that didn't convert.

852
00:56:38,000 --> 00:56:45,039
There were snakes and then those copless
snakes thousand a thousand years later that those

853
00:56:45,079 --> 00:56:50,519
same people almost starved to death on
an island where they could fish. It's

854
00:56:50,639 --> 00:56:55,159
questionable because his patoes were having just
a bad year for farming. Go to

855
00:56:55,239 --> 00:56:59,599
the fucking fish store, Go to
the coast. Yeah, that is your

856
00:56:59,639 --> 00:57:02,719
coat. That is a lot.
Actually, that's like, how did they

857
00:57:02,960 --> 00:57:07,880
what happened? Just really bad with
a rod. This is why you have

858
00:57:07,920 --> 00:57:13,000
to diversify. Yeah, or they
were just so committed to having side dishes.

859
00:57:13,239 --> 00:57:16,239
They would love potatoes. Man,
They're like, you can't you know

860
00:57:16,639 --> 00:57:22,119
potato For the first time. I
think I might have said this on the

861
00:57:22,159 --> 00:57:29,519
podcast. I can't remember, though. Ireland just surpassed it's like eighteen forties

862
00:57:29,559 --> 00:57:34,840
population. That's insane that we never
recovered. Yeah, and I want to

863
00:57:34,840 --> 00:57:37,360
say, maybe finally just well no, they haven't just passed people with I

864
00:57:37,559 --> 00:57:42,239
like, there's more Irish heritage people
in America than than there are in Ireland

865
00:57:42,320 --> 00:57:47,880
by by quite a bit insane?
Are It's like Jewish people really bad?

866
00:57:49,119 --> 00:57:52,519
Yeah? How like it's insane that
there is a cultural Ireland in Ireland.

867
00:57:52,639 --> 00:57:57,199
Isn't America? That doesn't America have
more more Jewice people anywhere else? Is

868
00:57:57,199 --> 00:58:00,519
Israel one? In America's two?
It's something like that. Yeah, I

869
00:58:00,519 --> 00:58:05,400
mean for a long time it was
America easily, but and then like ironically

870
00:58:05,480 --> 00:58:08,679
Russia's still three. It's crazy because
they really hated the Jews almost as much

871
00:58:08,679 --> 00:58:14,199
as Jew. You never did Birthright, you never went to Birthright. No,

872
00:58:14,280 --> 00:58:17,760
I didn't wasted opportunity, was it? Yeah, dude, you could

873
00:58:17,760 --> 00:58:27,480
have went to Israel on their dime
and you know, lived up just like

874
00:58:27,480 --> 00:58:32,119
two weeks, three weeks. Cultural
appreciation is good. I'm not trying to

875
00:58:32,119 --> 00:58:37,960
go anywhere where they have the iron
dome phone each other the whole time.

876
00:58:37,840 --> 00:58:40,519
Do you a little afraid to get
on a bus. I'm just not stoked

877
00:58:40,519 --> 00:58:45,719
about going to a place that's very
heavily targeted for explosions. Yeah, it's

878
00:58:45,760 --> 00:58:47,679
targeted for you to meet your wife
there. Right. I already gonna be

879
00:58:47,760 --> 00:58:52,079
like the only first world country where
it's like something could explode it anytime.

880
00:58:52,760 --> 00:58:55,119
Yeah. No, it's funny as
shit. I was watching videos of the

881
00:58:55,159 --> 00:59:00,239
missile defense system, like they all
kind of stop what they're doing and like

882
00:59:00,360 --> 00:59:02,199
kind of go inside, but then
some people just stay out there and film

883
00:59:02,239 --> 00:59:05,800
it. So it's like a tornado
warning, yeah, basically, and like

884
00:59:05,840 --> 00:59:08,239
you'll see the miss of the homoss
missile coming in and then just another missile

885
00:59:08,280 --> 00:59:10,559
goes and gets it, and they'll
crack up. They're like they suck.

886
00:59:12,159 --> 00:59:15,199
They just go back to work.
It's like they're never gonna get us.

887
00:59:15,800 --> 00:59:22,519
So it is literally like a tornado
warning in the Midwest. Yeah, the

888
00:59:22,599 --> 00:59:24,840
sirens go off and no one takes
it serious like whatever. But the thing

889
00:59:24,920 --> 00:59:27,880
is, though, if you're not
from there, So like if I was

890
00:59:27,920 --> 00:59:30,920
in Israel, the same way,
like my wife when she's in Saint Louis

891
00:59:30,960 --> 00:59:34,519
and the tornado wine goes up,
She's like, should he be getting in

892
00:59:34,599 --> 00:59:37,360
the basement, Like I mean Israel, Like, uh, should is there

893
00:59:37,440 --> 00:59:39,400
a bomb shelter? And they like, no, no, outside, they're

894
00:59:39,440 --> 00:59:42,239
bad at missiles. Yeah, the
same way I'd be like, man,

895
00:59:42,320 --> 00:59:45,119
dad, there's not there's not a
tornado. That's not gonna We're actually going

896
00:59:45,159 --> 00:59:46,880
to storm Chase. Yeah, we're
gonna go look for we're gonna go film

897
00:59:46,880 --> 00:59:51,400
this getting counter missiled out. Yeah. That just cracks me up that they're

898
00:59:51,440 --> 00:59:53,320
at that level of like people hating
them, that they're just like, yeah,

899
00:59:53,320 --> 00:59:58,559
we built like anti missiles everywhere.
Yeah that's all we got. Um.

900
00:59:58,599 --> 01:00:00,159
But yeah, that's that's the story
of poor um. Oh wait,

901
01:00:00,239 --> 01:00:04,559
no, there was one other thing
I wanted to talk about. The pastries.

902
01:00:05,199 --> 01:00:09,840
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah,
god. Um. I'm specifically memorized

903
01:00:09,880 --> 01:00:15,280
this earlier today. What they're called
but now I can't remember. Look it

904
01:00:15,320 --> 01:00:21,159
up. They're they're the English Rob
well Christ's play. Yeah, they're called

905
01:00:21,239 --> 01:00:25,159
Hayman's ears or Hayman's hats. Um. It's a three cornered pastry. Is

906
01:00:25,159 --> 01:00:30,199
it a bearclaw? It's kind of
like almost like a baklava in a way

907
01:00:30,199 --> 01:00:35,159
that is, you don't know what
baklava is. No, they're called like

908
01:00:35,400 --> 01:00:42,599
hamontosh. Yeah, um so hamantash
and hamantash see both. Yeah, so

909
01:00:42,679 --> 01:00:45,519
they are these three corners. They're
supposed to represent Hayman's hat. They're just

910
01:00:45,519 --> 01:00:47,079
like little fruit filled pastries. Yeah. Yeah, and you eat them,

911
01:00:47,159 --> 01:00:52,800
it's kind of like you're eating his
head. There. Such a violent fucking

912
01:00:52,840 --> 01:00:55,519
holiday. Yeah, it's about drinking
and murder. It'd be like if Mardi

913
01:00:55,559 --> 01:01:00,440
Gras was like, today is the
day that Jesus slit punches pilot's throat and

914
01:01:00,480 --> 01:01:05,960
then everyone celebrated. Yeah, and
this is a this is a jelly filled

915
01:01:05,960 --> 01:01:08,760
donut that you're supposed to cut down
the middle. Wow, why would spill

916
01:01:08,800 --> 01:01:13,320
out? He can't slip punch his
pilot's throat. He washed his hands clean.

917
01:01:13,440 --> 01:01:16,159
Rob, I'm just saying if Jesus
was a bit more of a vengeful

918
01:01:16,199 --> 01:01:22,719
person or what if we had it
would be if we had a holiday just

919
01:01:22,880 --> 01:01:25,119
for when he like flipped over the
tables and the temple. Yeah, like

920
01:01:25,239 --> 01:01:29,559
that was the day that we just
like raged our fucking dicks off, just

921
01:01:29,559 --> 01:01:34,760
like walking the rooms kick tables.
They do have that the table, Yeah,

922
01:01:34,840 --> 01:01:37,719
yeah, that's all about Jesus and
the temple. Actually the bills fans

923
01:01:37,840 --> 01:01:43,400
bans temples or tables because of that, that would be the should we start

924
01:01:43,400 --> 01:01:46,760
a Catholic holiday where we just smashed
tables? It's like, yeah, we

925
01:01:46,840 --> 01:01:52,360
keep it also keeps small uh party
businesses in business because he rent tables and

926
01:01:52,360 --> 01:01:57,880
destroyed them. Well that's where Jesus
was anti small business. It's crazy.

927
01:01:58,039 --> 01:02:00,719
He was anti capitalism, yeah,
fucking mommy, fucking yeah he was.

928
01:02:00,760 --> 01:02:06,840
He was actually very much a communist
easily. Yeah yeah, long haired hippie

929
01:02:06,880 --> 01:02:12,880
communist watching the poor people's feet not
white, no, simply not even white.

930
01:02:12,920 --> 01:02:16,000
Looked like Cheke of Vera really if
anything, Yeah, do I think

931
01:02:16,039 --> 01:02:20,760
Cheke of Ara was Jesus. Well, Mike Tyson had then has Jesus tattooed

932
01:02:20,800 --> 01:02:23,519
on his ribs. Yeah, Mike
Tysons Jacob his ribs. He also has

933
01:02:23,559 --> 01:02:28,920
MoU said Jesus, So yes,
Jacoba, Yeah, he has mouth and

934
01:02:29,320 --> 01:02:31,719
on his ribs though I didn't know
this but until he fought the other night

935
01:02:31,800 --> 01:02:36,840
or whatever a few weeks back.
Like Mike Tyson's a giant communist, really

936
01:02:37,199 --> 01:02:40,280
big comm according to his tattoos.
Well he owns a tiger too, so

937
01:02:40,320 --> 01:02:44,280
he's really into that part of the
world. Yeah, definitely. Have you

938
01:02:44,280 --> 01:02:46,320
ever seen the picture of him where
he just clearly had his face on a

939
01:02:46,320 --> 01:02:52,280
pile of cocaine at a party?
Mmm, I'm not it's it's amazing his

940
01:02:52,360 --> 01:02:55,280
face is It looks like he had
been eating powdered doughnuts all night. Yeah,

941
01:02:55,320 --> 01:03:00,000
it's just like his eyes are bloodshot. Someone takes a picture of him

942
01:03:00,039 --> 01:03:04,719
his nose just coat that's faked,
by the way, So about this holiday

943
01:03:04,719 --> 01:03:06,960
one thing is just jumped into my
mind. Then I wanted to ask,

944
01:03:07,239 --> 01:03:12,519
um, how we're pretty sure Hayman
was a real person, right, Oh,

945
01:03:12,599 --> 01:03:17,719
yeah, like probably probably Zeres was, Yes, so I'm assuming as

946
01:03:17,840 --> 01:03:24,639
Vice Roy was. So you guys
just go wild. We killed a very

947
01:03:24,639 --> 01:03:30,800
insignificant person for the execution of a
human being once he whoa So do you

948
01:03:30,880 --> 01:03:38,400
guys go wild for him? Rising
from the dead. We're only because he

949
01:03:38,480 --> 01:03:42,079
was able to rise from it.
I don't know. The Stations of the

950
01:03:42,119 --> 01:03:45,199
Cross in elementary school is fun.
I got to be a Roman soldier talking

951
01:03:45,400 --> 01:03:49,400
fun. I got to beat the
ship on my friend with a whip.

952
01:03:49,960 --> 01:03:53,280
I'm sorry, hold on, Dan, hold on a second. He might

953
01:03:53,280 --> 01:03:59,519
be as anti Semitic for this.
What the fuck Stations of the Cross?

954
01:03:59,599 --> 01:04:04,119
Where you putting on in the church? Yeah? Yeah, I was a

955
01:04:04,199 --> 01:04:09,239
Roman soldier. My friend Mike was
you had was Jesus thing? No,

956
01:04:09,239 --> 01:04:12,920
No, we went. We went
station by station and it was at church

957
01:04:13,000 --> 01:04:15,679
during church, during church. Yeah, it was especially it's like a special

958
01:04:15,800 --> 01:04:18,599
edition. I understand. I've I
have Good Friday, been too many Stations

959
01:04:18,599 --> 01:04:21,360
of the Cross. I've also been
a server, been an altar boy for

960
01:04:21,480 --> 01:04:25,239
Stations of the Cross. Fucking no, we do a live action station.

961
01:04:25,679 --> 01:04:28,320
That's I have never heard of that. And I was a Roman. I

962
01:04:28,360 --> 01:04:30,719
am as fucking cat because he's crazy. He's like, I think I've heard

963
01:04:30,719 --> 01:04:33,840
of this. Yeah, and I
literally just kicked a shit on my friend

964
01:04:33,840 --> 01:04:36,960
with a whip. Never heard of
that. That's never heard of that.

965
01:04:38,000 --> 01:04:41,559
Do you guys have like a very
drawn out snuff film? At church at

966
01:04:41,639 --> 01:04:45,360
church. Yeah, wow, these
have like Cat of nine tails wailing on

967
01:04:45,480 --> 01:04:47,880
your fucking friend. We went all
out with the production too. I have

968
01:04:48,079 --> 01:04:53,039
never heard of that. Essentially you
had you had a Christmas play. Yeah,

969
01:04:53,119 --> 01:04:57,280
but for the stations. So what
is the stations at the Cross?

970
01:04:57,280 --> 01:05:01,719
Do you rob? It's a very
boy orring form of not even masks.

971
01:05:01,760 --> 01:05:05,079
They don't do communion for it,
not Uh, where you just go in.

972
01:05:05,119 --> 01:05:08,840
Every church has it. If you
go into any church, there's like

973
01:05:08,880 --> 01:05:12,159
twelve days they have I forgot how
many stations, fourteen points and they have

974
01:05:12,239 --> 01:05:15,480
this all the stations there for that
one day a year that they do the

975
01:05:15,480 --> 01:05:17,679
Stations of the Cross and they go
from one to one and it's like different

976
01:05:17,719 --> 01:05:21,519
the different stations. Yeah, light
up your station, like they put a

977
01:05:21,559 --> 01:05:25,639
spotlight on each station as you go
through it. Yeah, we live that

978
01:05:25,679 --> 01:05:30,599
out, Lady of Fatima. Damn, that's hardcore. It would be like

979
01:05:30,679 --> 01:05:34,920
it's like the trial. It's like
the trial of Jesus, him being whipped,

980
01:05:35,400 --> 01:05:40,039
him being nailed to the cross,
all kinds of shit. So it's

981
01:05:40,119 --> 01:05:43,760
kind of like, uh, it
reminds me of like going to Epcot,

982
01:05:43,880 --> 01:05:46,320
like seeing just like a story like
you you know, or like a museum

983
01:05:47,199 --> 01:05:53,239
like the do you walk around when
you do the Stations of the Cross?

984
01:05:53,320 --> 01:05:56,519
Yeah? Yeah, we stopped so
what half stage one? Yeah, so

985
01:05:56,559 --> 01:06:00,360
when you're serving, what happens is
like when you're an ultra boy. It's

986
01:06:00,440 --> 01:06:03,119
you, it's too ultra. Yeah, you're going to explain what I did

987
01:06:03,239 --> 01:06:06,000
and there. Oh I thought you
all right, we'll go talking about do

988
01:06:06,079 --> 01:06:09,679
you go station by station? And
it's like, like he said, it's

989
01:06:09,679 --> 01:06:14,159
a play for us. I guess
you guys didn't do the play. Okay,

990
01:06:14,199 --> 01:06:15,960
Well that's interesting. That sounds like
it would be kind of chaotic inside

991
01:06:16,000 --> 01:06:18,519
the church, like is everyone going
to the same one at the same time?

992
01:06:19,119 --> 01:06:23,000
Everyone? We only did one performance. Oh it's so to me.

993
01:06:23,039 --> 01:06:25,760
I thought you meant like people were
walking around the perimeter of the church like

994
01:06:25,880 --> 01:06:30,639
now sitting down and we're walking inside. Oh okay, we're going around the

995
01:06:30,679 --> 01:06:33,280
pews doing the stations of la Cross. Oh okay, okay, okay,

996
01:06:33,400 --> 01:06:38,920
that differs church by church, So
I guess, yeah, you didn't actually

997
01:06:38,960 --> 01:06:42,920
live it out. So what we
Yeah, like they were like they were

998
01:06:42,960 --> 01:06:46,440
like paintings of each station in the
church, and then like we would be

999
01:06:46,679 --> 01:06:49,800
inside the pews, not outside the
pews going from station to station, and

1000
01:06:49,840 --> 01:06:53,559
the priests would read like, well, I just looked at the stations.

1001
01:06:53,559 --> 01:06:56,880
It's like Jesus is condemned to death. And then he'll read like a fucking

1002
01:06:57,199 --> 01:07:00,880
the part for that, and Mary
Magdalene comes out the crowd and wipes his

1003
01:07:00,920 --> 01:07:03,039
face. Yeah exactly, yeah,
exactly, and it's yeah, it's fourteen,

1004
01:07:03,079 --> 01:07:08,960
you're right, uh, including he's
taken down from the cross and Holy

1005
01:07:09,000 --> 01:07:13,239
placed in the fucking isn't one where
I think I offered him like a vinegar

1006
01:07:13,239 --> 01:07:18,400
sponge on a stick a stick.
Yeah, So so the only way to

1007
01:07:18,440 --> 01:07:23,119
wipe yourself off was with vinegar.
We talked about this. We have talked

1008
01:07:23,159 --> 01:07:26,239
about this privately before, not like
because we were like ashamed of it.

1009
01:07:26,639 --> 01:07:30,599
But I told you what the vinegar
sponge is, right now? Have I

1010
01:07:30,599 --> 01:07:32,559
ever told you that? What is? I just learned about the vinegar sponge

1011
01:07:32,559 --> 01:07:38,079
two seconds ago? Sponge? Okay, so, oh my god, god,

1012
01:07:38,199 --> 01:07:42,119
this is his whole own episode.
So I hold it, then keep

1013
01:07:42,159 --> 01:07:44,199
it holstered. Now I'll say it
and then we can do it. But

1014
01:07:44,280 --> 01:07:48,960
I mean, it's it's so essentially. Yes. At one point two Roman

1015
01:07:49,000 --> 01:07:56,159
soldiers held up a vinegar sponge to
Jesus's mouth, right, and the Bible,

1016
01:07:56,280 --> 01:08:01,159
the story and the Bible, it
was like active fucking charity compassion.

1017
01:08:01,440 --> 01:08:12,280
Yeah. So no, that's actually
what Romans and people at the time used

1018
01:08:12,320 --> 01:08:15,199
to wipe their asses with after they
took a shit. Yeah. No,

1019
01:08:15,279 --> 01:08:19,119
I never thought it was like a
sign of Uh so they're basically like putting

1020
01:08:19,239 --> 01:08:23,039
used toilet paper in his face.
Yes, they put used toilet paper.

1021
01:08:23,079 --> 01:08:27,720
They put dirty shit toilet paper on
a stick and shoved it in Jesus's face.

1022
01:08:30,319 --> 01:08:36,560
They actually taught us in school.
In school, they taught us that

1023
01:08:36,600 --> 01:08:43,279
was kind of like an act of
insult because he didn't instead of water vinegar,

1024
01:08:43,640 --> 01:08:46,479
you couldn't drink it. I didn't
know about the toilet paper shit though.

1025
01:08:46,600 --> 01:08:49,239
Yeah, they used that thing to
wipe their asses. Okay, that

1026
01:08:49,239 --> 01:08:53,439
actually seems like it would work really
well though. So well, the reason

1027
01:08:53,479 --> 01:08:57,079
they liked it, the reason they
did it is because the vinegar killed the

1028
01:08:57,159 --> 01:09:00,359
germs or whatever. Yeah. Well, I'm sure so it a way to

1029
01:09:00,479 --> 01:09:02,680
like what it helps with the smell, probably, yeah, but it was

1030
01:09:02,720 --> 01:09:05,159
a way to like it, like
it was like disinfectant. As he's probably

1031
01:09:05,159 --> 01:09:11,399
passing out from hanging up on a
fucking cross for hours, slowly dying probably

1032
01:09:11,439 --> 01:09:14,680
wakes him right back up. It's
like smelling softs. Yeah, oh god,

1033
01:09:15,000 --> 01:09:16,479
that's what you wake up too.
It's just shit sponge like as he's

1034
01:09:16,479 --> 01:09:21,720
about to be knocked out and just
go into unconsciousness before he dies. A

1035
01:09:21,840 --> 01:09:30,079
media cocaine boost poop sponge. Crazy
to me. It's like, did you

1036
01:09:30,079 --> 01:09:33,560
guys use just like a home like
square sponge? Did you just like because

1037
01:09:33,600 --> 01:09:36,039
they wouldn't have been that. No, it was like a circular sponge.

1038
01:09:36,039 --> 01:09:40,159
It was like a natural sponge,
right, yeah. Yeah, it's weird

1039
01:09:40,159 --> 01:09:44,680
that those are animals. They're not. They are not. Sponges are animals,

1040
01:09:44,720 --> 01:09:46,880
not to me, but they are. They are, they are animals.

1041
01:09:47,159 --> 01:09:50,840
You know. You know my favorite
station of the cross is he falls

1042
01:09:50,920 --> 01:09:56,840
the second time. Why did they
have to like say the second it really

1043
01:09:56,880 --> 01:10:00,199
gets into the weeds. Well he
falls three times, right yeah yeah,

1044
01:10:00,199 --> 01:10:02,479
but the second it's like he and
like that one's just like he follows again

1045
01:10:03,319 --> 01:10:08,560
and then they just say something and
that's it. That was I gotta say,

1046
01:10:08,560 --> 01:10:12,279
man, as a fucking kid,
as a Catholic, like stations of

1047
01:10:12,319 --> 01:10:17,600
the Cross were unfucking bearable. I
felt like I was the one being crucified

1048
01:10:17,680 --> 01:10:20,560
during Stations of the Cross. It
is the point. It's to make you

1049
01:10:20,600 --> 01:10:25,520
relate it fucking might be. Man, it was so awful. It was

1050
01:10:25,840 --> 01:10:29,399
because that's you remember too, because
you didn't just serve it. I assume

1051
01:10:29,399 --> 01:10:31,840
you had to attend them too.
That's the one where you kneel constantly.

1052
01:10:31,920 --> 01:10:34,800
Yeah, and it's also an extra
mass. I have to go to Mass

1053
01:10:34,800 --> 01:10:41,439
on Friday. Fuck that it is. Yeah, and you are on your

1054
01:10:41,520 --> 01:10:45,960
knees like most of the time.
It is murder. Yeah. I've been

1055
01:10:45,960 --> 01:10:50,439
to a few Catholic masses myself,
and the updowns you're doing, it's just

1056
01:10:50,680 --> 01:10:54,840
it's unbearable. Yes, I was
jacked as a little kid, man,

1057
01:10:55,319 --> 01:11:00,319
sure, fucking jacked. Well,
yeah, sort forum there it is a

1058
01:11:00,319 --> 01:11:02,680
little bit of Stations of the gross, a little bit of Christianity. And

1059
01:11:02,680 --> 01:11:08,199
then we expose ourselves, me and
Jake for our lack of Civil War knowledge.

1060
01:11:08,199 --> 01:11:12,680
I don't think we're just not war
guys. I think we're civil war.

1061
01:11:13,399 --> 01:11:16,880
He's the World War time. Every
god damn person in the United States

1062
01:11:16,920 --> 01:11:20,279
should know what Fort Sumter is.
I mean, I know it's heard of

1063
01:11:20,279 --> 01:11:26,199
it that I didn't insane, I
didn't know it started there. I'm sorry,

1064
01:11:26,359 --> 01:11:29,319
I wasn't. I wasn't. Like
you guys have heard of the Battle

1065
01:11:29,319 --> 01:11:30,960
of Hampton Roads, right, you
know what I mean? Like you know

1066
01:11:31,000 --> 01:11:39,239
what, Like I would not like
referencing like Antietam is extreme, Like I'm

1067
01:11:39,279 --> 01:11:43,960
not referencing like random like War of
eighteen twelve battles. If we're talking about

1068
01:11:44,000 --> 01:11:46,319
Fort Sumter here, that is,
we should talk about the War of eighteen

1069
01:11:46,319 --> 01:11:54,439
twelve though, because British British,
it burns down the White House. Basically,

1070
01:11:54,479 --> 01:11:58,119
what happened is is that we've been
off more than we could chew,

1071
01:11:58,319 --> 01:12:02,279
and the victory was in that we
have eventually just like broke even. Yeah,

1072
01:12:02,640 --> 01:12:05,239
that's the story friend of their time. Yeah, that is really the

1073
01:12:05,239 --> 01:12:09,720
story of eighteen twelve. Yeah,
make sure to go ahead and rate and

1074
01:12:09,760 --> 01:12:14,800
subscribe, tell a friend about this
podcast. Help us grow. We saw

1075
01:12:14,840 --> 01:12:17,000
a little bit of growth this week, so hoping that to continue in that

1076
01:12:17,039 --> 01:12:20,520
trend. Now we're going up in
the right direction. People enjoy the podcast,

1077
01:12:20,600 --> 01:12:25,359
and we like super thank you guys
for for enjoying it and listening,

1078
01:12:25,359 --> 01:12:29,359
and and we've got a lot of
dms just from people listening, like thank

1079
01:12:29,359 --> 01:12:30,399
you, so much and thank you
to thank you, super thank you to

1080
01:12:30,439 --> 01:12:32,960
everyone who sends us ship to be
like, hey talk about that. Yeah,

1081
01:12:33,000 --> 01:12:35,239
no, seriously, we have a
couple. I think a listener thinks

1082
01:12:35,239 --> 01:12:39,600
we should probably start recovering in the
new year, like for sure. Well

1083
01:12:39,680 --> 01:12:44,239
it was one of the listeners,
John Barazza, John Paul. I'm butchering

1084
01:12:44,279 --> 01:12:47,159
that name. Who sent us the
John Smith one? Yeah? I actually

1085
01:12:47,439 --> 01:12:51,119
so next week's my week and I
kind of want to go back to that

1086
01:12:51,199 --> 01:12:56,039
well of just one person. Yeah, I do like the biography Who's lived

1087
01:12:56,119 --> 01:13:00,479
like an incredible wife? Oh yeah, Um, just to break up the

1088
01:13:00,479 --> 01:13:02,600
theme, we obviously went back to
back holidays, I'm just going to do

1089
01:13:02,640 --> 01:13:06,800
a cool old school bank robber.
Oh nice, Yeah you were talking.

1090
01:13:06,800 --> 01:13:11,039
You were talking a lot about the
like nineteen thirties yeah, John Dillinger,

1091
01:13:11,159 --> 01:13:13,960
Oh nice. Oh sweet John Dillinger's
agree. Were you about to break some

1092
01:13:14,000 --> 01:13:15,079
news to us? Oh no,
I wasn't. I was gonna say,

1093
01:13:15,159 --> 01:13:18,199
Um, someone that's been a follower
of us for a while, Brooks Raburn,

1094
01:13:18,600 --> 01:13:21,880
Oh yeah, yeah, I think
we talked to him on the football

1095
01:13:21,880 --> 01:13:26,279
podcast. Yeah he might have called
in yeah yeah, called it donated.

1096
01:13:26,479 --> 01:13:29,680
Yeah, um, he has like
a really crazy one about Martin Luther.

1097
01:13:30,000 --> 01:13:32,319
He sent me some stuff about him. Oh fuck, Martin Luther came up

1098
01:13:32,319 --> 01:13:35,840
on in this stuff, did it? Yeah? Well I read something that

1099
01:13:35,960 --> 01:13:42,560
we are too far into this podcast. I will just say that Martin Luther

1100
01:13:42,800 --> 01:13:45,279
was like, I thought that,
um, that the story that pure hum

1101
01:13:45,319 --> 01:13:48,720
and the story of Esther was Jewish
nationalism. Oh totally. He was like

1102
01:13:48,880 --> 01:13:53,319
he was like, fuck this,
and they're like he thought it was a

1103
01:13:53,359 --> 01:13:56,520
sign of Jewish nationalism and blood lust. Yeah, no, totally. Uh,

1104
01:13:56,520 --> 01:14:00,279
both Hanka and Forum technically are a
national holiday. Like I mean,

1105
01:14:00,800 --> 01:14:03,800
Honk hundred percent is It's just like, yeah, yeah, we fucking run

1106
01:14:03,840 --> 01:14:08,159
this ship. This is our temple. They still lost eventually, Yeah,

1107
01:14:08,319 --> 01:14:11,760
we always do. They always Well, everyone lost to Alexander. It's fine.

1108
01:14:13,000 --> 01:14:15,880
They were fighting the Macedonias like the
Greeks, weren't they. Yeah,

1109
01:14:15,960 --> 01:14:18,000
in Hanaka in the Honakah story,
Yeah, they lost, of course they

1110
01:14:18,000 --> 01:14:20,840
did. Everyone lost. Did they
have elephants? I don't know, I

1111
01:14:20,840 --> 01:14:26,119
don't remember elephants or is that just
Hannibal? No, No, Alexander didn't

1112
01:14:26,159 --> 01:14:30,920
have elephants. Okay, I kind
of explained something, but whatever, All

1113
01:14:30,000 --> 01:14:35,239
right, for that Uh, I'm
Dan, I'm Jake, I'm Rob and

1114
01:14:35,359 --> 01:14:39,079
you just got soft served eat eat