Callaroga Shark Media. I haven't used the late bot in a while, but
it has gotten much better. Hello Johnny Mack with your daily comedy news from
late Bot. Have you heard Donald Trump is launching his own line if Sneakers.
They're designed to get over any obstacle, unless that obstacle is releasing your
tax returns. That is a solid joke. AI. The sneakers are said
to me incredibly durable. They claim to withstand impeachment processes, subpoenas, and
even the occasional capitol riot. The sneakers are designed for those who love to
run, run for office, run away from tax auditors, or run towards
Twitter. Congratulations to Adam Sandler, winner of the Icon Award at the People's
Choice Awards. I'm gonna play a clip for you. I had to cut
it down a couple of reasons. One, it took Adam a long time
to get to the stage. The person you hear speaking with him is Jennifer
Aniston, and I've shared this clip in the Facebook group, which is Daily
Comedy News podcast group. As this goes on and on and on and on
and on and on, Aniston is basically making the face that I would were
I hosting the People's Choice Awards. She's just like, what is happening?
It's hilarious. Sandler's not hilarious. Addison's face is hilarious. The audience rolls
with it. So I'm gonna play a clip here and then I'll cut it
off and I'll tell you why, Aniston, I love you so much,
and she and I know you don't love doing stuff like this, and you're
coming You're okay. Thanks, I do too. You were fantastic. Sorry
for coming up early. I got nervous too. This is this is going
to be a little humiliating. So what happened was all right. I know
you should prepare a speech for a big night like this. I had one
prepared on Force. So when my agent called me and said I won the
People's Choice Icon Award, I was driving. I had him on speakerphone and
I was also eating frosted flakes, and I didn't hear I think I misheard
him. I thought he said, I congratulations, Adam, you won the
People Magazine Sexiest Man Alive. So anyways, I wrote a speech for that,
and I don't have one prepared for the Icon thing, but I'm gonna
do the speech I wrote, and because they said I got to talk a
few minutes, So let's get to it. Hello, ladies and gentlemen,
my name is Adam Sandler, and I am the sexiest man alive. Can
I get a hell? Here? To the People Magazines Academy members of Hotnessing
Sexual Attractiveness, I would like to say thank you for recognizing me as the
man who made our entire country to horneus this year and was by far the
most talked about person individualm by couples or thruffles during fantasy role playing slappy time.
Can I get another hell? Yea, I am trying to be gracious
People Magazine, but I have to admit three words keep popping into my head
right now about freaking time. So Sailor then goes for another four minutes explaining
what he's going to do in the bedroom with Missus Sandler and it aired on
TV. But it's a little too naughty for this podcast. Plus enough Ready
I couldn't make it to the end of the clip. It was just diminishing
returns. He went for like six minutes. What are you doing, Adam
Sandler, Icon of the Year, and be honest with me, did you
find that funny. I know he does the dumb voice. I know Hollywood's
gonna go along with it unless you're Joe Koy having your career murdered by Taylor
Swift. But boy, that's just not funny. I'm sorry, it's not
funny. The People's Choice Awards the Comedy Movie of the Year nominees were eighty
for Brady Anyone but you? Are you there? God, it's meet Margaret.
That happened to Asteroid City, Cocaine Bear who that should have won?
No Hard Feelings in Wanka the winner, Barbie of Course Comedy Movie Star of
the Year. The nominees Adam Sandler for you are so not invited to my
bot mitzvah that happened? Remember that? Glenn Powell for anyone but You,
Margot Robbie for Barbie, Ryan Gosling for Barbie, Scarlett Johanson Asteroid City,
Sidney Sweeney anyone but you, Timothy Chellamy for Walka the winner, Jennifer Lawrence
in No Hard Feelings Comedy Show of the Year. The nominees Abbott Elementary just
like that. Never have I ever snl ted Lasso the Bear, Young Sheldon
the winner only Murders in the Building, Comedy TV Star of the Year,
Ali Wong for Beef Bow and Yang snl, Hannah Waanningham for Ted Lasso,
Jason sedeikas Ted Lasso, Quinta bruntson Abbot, Selena Gomez Only Murder, Steve
Martin only Murders The winner, Jeremy Allen White The Bear Comedy TV Star of
the Year. Did you watch the Bear? I love the Bear? We're
going to say that was Jeremy Allen White was the Comedic Performance of the Year,
What Are We Doing? Nighttime Talk Show of the Year Kevin Hart's Heart
to Heart is currently a thing? Has anyone actually seen that? Jimmy Kimmel,
Oliver Seth Daily Show with No Host, Elly's Show, Watch What Happens
Live with Andy Cohen, and the winner The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon.
Not gonna give that to Oliver Okay. Host of the Year went to a
bunch of things, but Jimmy Fallon won for That's My Gem and the Comedy
Act of the Year. The nominees were John Mulinie's Baby, Jay, Amy
Schumer's Emergency Contact, No Way, Marlon Wayans God Loves Me, No Way,
Want of Sykes, I'm an entertainer, No way, Trevor no is
off the record, Kevin Hart's Reality Check, Na Sarah Silverman, someone you
Love but the winner Chris Rock selective outrage. I don't think Chris Rock was
there to accept the award. I haven't seen anything online. Meanwhile, in
the UK at the BAFTAs, Nick Mohammad you know him from Ted Lasso.
He was explaining to the audience what would happen if there's an emergency. The
order of evacuation would be starting with me, then in order of importance,
the Baptist trophies, followed by winners, nominees, publicists, everyone else,
then the influencers. That joke landed well, and then he went, oh
and the Royals, and then the cameras got to Prince William who found the
joke funny because it is funny. And if you want to follow with the
Royals lot being going on lately Harry and Megan out of a good always fun
follow the podcast Palace Intrigue, where you get your shows. Sam Morrill mixing
it up, taking a shot at Steven A. Smith and I'm all for
it, boy, that'd be a great war to have. Sam has called
out Steven on his Twitter feed. Dan LeBatard asked Sam about this, and
Sam said, Stephen a is a curse to the franchise. Stop rooting for
us. I don't want you on our side. Anytime he calls a game
we lose, go away. How could ESPN get any worse? Dude?
Replace him with Richard Jefferson or JJ Reddick or someone who knows what they're talking
about. He apparently also doesn't like Kenny Smith. On TNT, Sam said
TNTA, I love those guys, but they won't give the Nicks props.
I know what Kenny Smith is against New York, being a New York guy,
but get over, dude. We're here. No one wants us in
the playoffs. We just got to get healthy cool. Hopefully that starts a
war. DL Hughley said, I would never go on Club Shaysha. That's
Shannon Sharp's podcast, probably best known for Kat Williams scorching the entire earth.
Delle was caught walking out of a building by reporters or Papa Rozzi and said,
no, I haven't spoken to Monique. Would he take anything back that
he said about Monique? And he said not one thing. She said what
she said. I said what I said. We're grown people. We don't
have to be in the same space. But I think the idea that people
need to reconcile when they're obviously never going to see things out of eye is
a bit of a fallacy. Fun Jenny Slate as a special on Amazon Prime.
It'll be out on the twenty third, which I think is Friday,
right in nineteen twenty Yep, Friday. I went to pull a clip.
It takes her too long to set up the joke to get to laugh,
So you know, I don't like doing those long clips on this podcast.
She spoke to The New Yorker. The New Yorker interview is kind of not
the best interview ever. Right, let me leave it at that. But
it opened with Jenny apologizing for her cold, and she said, I'm embarrassed
about the fluid situation. I found that after COVID, the sound of fluid
in the nose is a turnof for many people, which totally makes sense.
So I'm calling out that. I know that I'm gross. Grub Street falling
around Mosha Casher. Grub Street will do this. They'll ask somebody to log
what they eat for a week. I could do that, but it'd be
bored. Here's what I do donut Shane. Usually a coffee roll, smoothie,
Place smoothie. Sometimes I get a buffalo wrap, and a lot of
times I don't eat dinner. But if there's a bag of M and m's,
I've been known to grab a handful as I walk by. I gotta
start running again, Mosha Casher. It's told grub Street for change of pace.
I went to eat lunch at the moynihan Food Hall at Penn Station.
I go with pizza. But I'm not sure if you know this, but
New York is said to have the third best pizza in America after Cleveland,
and of course my hometown sunny Los Angeles. The Napple hit the West.
I buy two slices at Sauce. The crust is so thin it's reminiscent of
the bread of affliction of my people. I fuld both slices like a real
New York guy. That way, no one knows I'm a tourist. While
a Poundstone told the Day that she has regular ping pong parties in the backyard
of her house in Santa Monica. My daughter and I added up one time
how many times I've done them. It's now over seventy. She cajoles the
fifty attendees to compete in a ping pong tournament, and she says, because
of inflation, I've uped the prices to one hundred dollars instead of fifty.
I have a fantastic antique scoreboard from a flea market. She says she will
often done a blank name tag when I get nervous. I can't remember names.
The blank name tag is a great conversation starter, and it's embarrassing to
ask somebody who's been to my party seventy times what their name is. Axeost
had asked Josh Connoman or people from around the country shock that you grew up
in the Boston suburbs, but you don't act to talk like Bill Burr.
Josh said, people almost always assume I'm from the midwestern Canada until I start
talking about the Celtics. People associate the Boston area with a very Walbergian mickismo,
and they tend not to give as much notice to other folks have come
here with different vibes. What does he like to eat? In Stone said,
I've gotten a little out of the loop, but I will say the
Stones was very accommodating of my recent Stoneham High School reunion, and I always
trying to make time for runn At and as Takaia when I'm back in town.
Al dot com is in Alabama asked Dusty Sleigh, Dusty Sligh's your real
name correct? Dusty said, it's my real name. I mean, some
could argue that my name is a little different on my government paperwork, but
I've always been called Dusty Sleigh by my parents and everyone, I think.
He told Neil Brennan his name is Dustin. Out dot Com said with a
name like that, it seems like you're predestined to be a wrestler. Dusty
said, well, I grew up watching wrestling, or wrestling as I called
it. I don't know when I started calling it wrestling and people stopped calling
it wrestling, yet it happened at some point in my life. I grew
up watching that. You see all these pro wrestling promos and all those guys
are talking to me, that's cool stuff. I grew up listening to country
music. I love country, and that's where I got a lot of inspiration
from. Merle Haggard is very famous for doing Workingman's songs. He addressed how
being sober has shaped his comedy, said, it was just real clarity.
It's some real self control discipline. I mean that was the thing for me.
With drinking. I never had control. I was still doing comedy.
I was still funny. In fact, I want to composition in Charleston.
As a drinker. But the moment I stopped drinking, I started being able
to write jokes better and faster, and I could remember them better, and
just my daily walk was better in general, because as a drinker, I'm
always kind of pursuing that next beer. But when you eliminate that, then
your pursuit of other things. You need to find other things to bring you
fulfillment. And I didn't lose as many friends. Nate Bergatsi's out on tour.
What can we expect to hear? Nate said, I talk about what
I would have been doing if stand up didn't work out, stuff about my
wife and my parents getting older every time. I'm older than I was when
I did the last special. Yes, that is how time works, Nate.
So I talk about where I'm at at my life and stuff that I'm
going through. It's fun to grow with your audience, What would you have
done if you didn't do stand up? I was a water meter reader.
I read water meters. I would have been working for that company. Probably
hopefully by now I would have moved out of water meter reading and higher up,
But I don't know. Got a pressure release. Orange Theory fitness and
comedian Hannah Berner have announced Hannah's next breakout comedy event. It is called wtf
is OTF. On February twenty eighth, Hannah Burner will take the stage for
a roast of the fitness industry and the many cliches and fads that come along
with it. The event will take place in New York City. It'll also
livestream on TikTok. Hanna Burner said, this wtf is OTF comedy event is
gonna be epic. Expect laughs, roasts, and maybe a little sweat.
I know first an what it's like to be in a bit of a fitness
limbo, and all the fads swirling around at the start of the year don't
help. What Orange Theory helped me to realize is that sweating it out doesn't
have to be too serious, and this partnership proves that while answering all of
our Biggest Fitness wtfs. I'm actually planning on hitting the exercise bike right after
I finished this recording. I'll do the edits later, hoping to do a
forty five minute on Apple Fitness Plus. From Deadline Bossom, Yusef claims he
lost a role in James Gunn's Superman Legacy movie due to his public support of
Palestine. During a Piers Morgan segment. Deadline says Usef taped an audition pre
actor strike for the role of Rueman Harjatti, but by the time gun turned
in his final version, the role was cut. That was before Yusef was
on Peers Morgan. James Gunn went on Twitter and said this is accurate,
meaning that the character was cut from Superman like I say. Before the Peers
Morgan interview last week, Yusef told Salon I was cast in the movie Superman.
Then they told me we changed the script after this Peers Morgan interview.
I want to assume good faith. I want to know, I want to
believe it's true. I was a little bitter and I wanted to go okay,
screw DC, screwed Warner Brothers. But then I understand the emotional burden
that those people have. I mean, those people have a connection with Israel.
I understand. Maybe the people who were in charge took that decision,
looked at me and didn't want to have me. And maybe I understand.
If I'm an Arab Muslim, I was the head of Warner Brothers, I
wouldn't want a pro Zionist or a pro Israel to be in my movie.
If he attacked people, I understand. This is the thing we need to
dissect. When I attack Israel, I attack its policy. I'm not attacking
Jewish people. A source close to the situation tells Deadline this is probably a
case of he said, he said, who knows. If you want a
new special to watch today, this one on OTT You can rent this one.
It is Mary Basmajian's funny Armenian girl. Mary's living that old USA Network
motto characters welcome, specifically the outspoken Bartouche. Her take on the quintessential Armenian
aunt. Bartousche is a large part of how Mary grew her online following.
So we'll naturally make an appearance on the special alongside more conventional stand up about
online dating and Bonnie image. And that is your comedy news for today.
Check out five Good News Stories. I'm having a lot of fun hosting that
one. Number five Good News Stories. That one comes out Monday, Wednesday,
Friday, Today's Tuesday. But it doesn't mean the other episodes aren't there.
It's not like you can only listen on Monday, Wednesday, Friday.
And if you enjoy this program, tell a friend about it or share it
with them or something like that, and I'll see tomorrow