This email kicks off the Minnesota Goodbye. It starts with Howdy, I've always
been a listener and wanted to ride in, but never remember until now.
I've been listening as long as I can remember, which means sometimes in the
late nineties. That's been a while twenty five years. The guy on yesterday's
podcast that wants a physical touch remember him? He was like saying, I've
been divorced, I'm forty this year. I don't want sex. I just
want to hold someone. Should I go to a strip club? Sounds like
you might be depressed without realizing it. As a guy in my upper twenties,
I had the typical sex drive of somebody that age and ended up going
unemployed for almost a month. The depression and anxiety that set in during that
time completely erased any sex drive that I had down to zero. After I
get a new job, it took a couple of months going to the doctor
and also getting therapy to feeld mostly normal again. The drive has since returned,
much to the disappointment of my wife. Ha ha, ha, I
get it. That's a funny one. Secondly, on the joint finances with
your partner, I won't say that we have the perfect system. But I
think we have a system that works really well. We were fifty to fifty
until we got married, which was all so close to when my wife graduated
grad school. She's an especially field and I'm in a common job, so
she makes a little more than double what I make. If we went fifty
to fifty on bills now, I would figuratively be living in poverty while my
wife would be sitting on top of her riches like Scrooge mcdoc a little bit
of an exaggeration. We ended up deciding to crunch the numbers and figure out
what our estimated bills were and what we would be what we would be like
for saving We put all the money into a joint accounts blah blah blah,
And I got a lot of hobby so this lets me still be able to
So basically they go on for a little bit, but they're talking about how
it works for them, and everybody does it a little bit differently. Yeah,
I know a lot of people who split up their finances according to how
much each people each person makes in the relationship. Because I've had I mean,
for a one bedroom, a nice one bedroom in like the Northwood area,
you're looking at like over two thousand dollars a month, and some people
just like can't afford a ton and rent, but like, you want to
live a certain lifestyle. So then the person who makes more money is like,
well, i'll pay for this much of it. You pay for that
much because you don't make as much. So I know some people who do
that, like couples, right, yeah, yeah, because you wouldn't do
that with your friend, you know, Becky, No, no, no,
with a couple. And I think there's really there's so much to that.
I mean, Susan and I. I've always made more than Susan,
but I never said I can't even imagine saying, well, you know what,
I'm going to drive Alexus and you're going to drive a Toyota. I
would never say like, well, you can't afford your part of the house
payment, so we can't get that house. I just you know, I
think if you love somebody and if you are together as a couple, then
you don't care. It's like, I don't know what maybe I make twice
what you make, but you're totally worth it because I'm not going to be
with you because we make it different amount money there's always been a thing where
people say guys are intimidated by women who make more money than them. Do
you think that's true. I don't really feel like I have personal experience with
that to say, so, I don't know I do that one. I
do know one of my girlfriends who is probably one of the more successful one
of my friends people, she was one of the greatest people ever, and
she just always ended up got dating guys who like used her for I don't
know, like use her like they'd move into her house and they would whatever.
And I was like, why can't she find someone who respects that she's
successful and they're also successful themselves and stuff, and so it was just a
weird thing for a long time with her, which she finally found someone who's
great. That's good, And I've got the exact same situation with one of
my friends. She has always made really good money, not tremendous money,
but really good money, like an abundance where she's got plenty left over to
take trips and get it nice car, maybe not Alexis, but a nice
car. And she's always dated guys who were a little bit underperforming, and
she's always had friends who were a little bit underperforming, and she more than
carried her weight. And for the first time in her life that I know
of, she's dating a guy that does as well as she does, and
she really loves that. But she's been so protective of not falling into that
again. In other words, she's been so used to paying for a guy's
airfare, paying for a guy's dinner. And I said, did you finally
realize you're worth better than that? And she said, yeah, I kind
of finally realized that I'm I'm worth more than a guy who makes, you
know, six dollars an hour. Flipped and burgers right. Moving on to
the next email, I think I might say this for next week. I'm
gonna forward it to you, Jenny, because we said next week, let's
do a What's on your Radar, so that if you don't listen to that
part of the show, it says Minnesota goodbye when I send it to you.
So it's basically Jessica Churchill writes in with what is on My Radar?
Because we do a bit every Thursday Tuesday where we say, oh, here's
a new app, here's a new book, here's a restaurant, here's a
hot spot. Whatever, check it out. It's on our radar. But
then Drake had an idea and he said, hey, how about we get
people to tell us what's on their radar? And she's talking about a show
that she is obsessed with called Has Been Hotel on Amazon Prime. I think
we are going to make a rule though that says no show recommendations, because
if we did, we'd get times and we get and Jessica, I love
you for this and I will check it out, but we get just like
your friends. Yesterday a friend of mine, a wonderful friend of mine,
said you've got to watch this show, and then my friend Nate said,
you've got to watch this show. And they might be right. I might
absolutely love it, but I think that you know, Jessica, I will
check this out. The show is called Has Been Hotel on Amazon Amazon Prime.
It's an adult cartoon comedy about hell and heaven. But it's a musical.
So wow, that's a lot wrapped into one. Really creative. I
love that, all right. Next, one quick question to discuss Dave from
Allison and Cottage Grove. Any thoughts on why we see so many small plane
crashes happening lately? Is this new or am I noticing it more. Every
time I hear of a local crash, my stomach drops and I get worried
about you. Would love to hear your insight on this topic. Thanks for
being a dad to all of us kids growing up in the nineties and two
thousands. I grew up listening to you, and when I run into a
predicament, I asked myself, what would Dave do? Wow? Since I
admire your honesty and character so much, I could go on, but you've
made such a great impact on my daily life. You're going to make me
cry. I mean me, Dave, so thank you so much. I'm
thirty five now and couldn't imagine my day without the show. Love the whole
crew, Dave, Jenny, Drake, y'all are the best. Love Bailey
two. If you have any stickers left, I'd be so honored to get
one. I will send you one and she signs dart Lick from Ali Plane
crashes. We talked about this yesterday, didn't we We did. We just
talked about how you can go into a place and rent a plane and know
if it's going to be safe or not. Yeah, it's it's just a
coincidence. It's just been an unfortunate string of events, kind of like passing
three dead deer on the way home. It doesn't mean that more deer getting
killed. It just means that you unfortunately pass three dead deer on the way
home. Maybe more deer ran across that road that day. There's no anything
in aviation, like general aviation, that's causing more plane crashes. This one
was really sad, the one that crashed in Nashville the other day. Did
you hear about this. So it was a small plane that seated six people
or so. It had two adults and three kids. So I'm going to
guess probably two adults, mom and dad. Probably likely their children. I
don't know how old they were, but there were kids. And the plane
had flown from whatever state is north of Tennessee, Kentucky, maybe Tucky,
and it was going to, you know, make a landing in somewhere in
Nashville, and it was on final and it the engine went out and it
tried to land on a freeway and the pilot you can hear his last words
on the tape that they played on the news last night, and he's like,
I'm not going to make it. I'm not the engine just went fully
out. I'm not going to make the airport, and so he tried to
land on a street. And what was interesting is the plane exploded when it
landed and killed everybody, probably instantly. So the things that caused plane crashes
like that are number one, fuel exhaustion. They ran out of gas.
Yeah, I don't know that's what happened, and probably not likely because there
was an explosion, and there's usually not an explosion if the plane ran out
of gas. But most plane crashes are caused by flying into bad weather you're
not prepared for. And pilots can fly in zero visibility or near zero visibility,
but they if they do it by accident or they fly into bad weather
that they're not trained for, that causes a lot of crashes too. That's
what happened to JFK. Junior. Remember his plane crash like twenty five years
ago. I did not know that either. Okay, you know who JFK.
Junior is. So he was a pilot and he was flying his wife
and her sister from New York City to somewhere like Martha's Vineyard where the family
was, and he took off late and things were running late. And he
had a very fancy, expensive airplane, but he wasn't particularly an experienced pilot,
and he flew into bad weather. And just like if I took you
and blindfolded you in sp you around, you would get disoriented and you wouldn't
know which way was left, right, up, down, whatever. That's
what happens with a lot of pilots, is they I'm getting too boring with
deep into the weeds on this. But he was disoriented and he got he
was aiming down when he thought he was aiming at and he flew down because
he was disoriented when he thought he was flying up. Okay, next one,
don't get me started. I'm gonna do an aviation podcast. They should
you know so many random facts about different Well, you love your plane crash.
Don't you listen to a plane crash podcast? I listened to two women
it's called Take to the Sky, the air Disaster podcast, Shelley and Stephanie,
and they do a great job and they're anyway, hello, favorite morning
show. I'm writing with this question because I know when Jenny was a server,
and there's a lot of people in the hospitality industry who listen to your
show. Last Saturday, My husband and I were eating in the bar area
of a high end steakhouse type restaurant in the Western suburbs. It's about eight
fifteen and a large party was seated at a table away. The child about
nine with the group started playing games on a tablet with the sound at full
blast without headphones. It was hugely disrupted. I disruptive. I didn't say
anything for two reasons. Number one, whether right or wrong, I worry
about the reaction from any adult who allows that. And number two, I
honestly thought our really excellent server would address the issue. However, no staff
did anything, and the noise continued until we left just before ten. I'm
wondering are servers trained not to do anything in these situations. If so,
is it to avoid a potential issue with the adults, or because the child
could have some sensory behavioral health issue so they need to be allowed that accommodation
or another reason. Should I have done something differently? Are we at a
point now where no one can say anything about the behavior of others in the
absence of the risk of physical harm. Thanks for all you do to brighten
the days of so many. My first thought is I mentioned a couple of
years ago, we were at a restaurant and there was a family with a
seven year old kid or so next door on his tablet with headphones the entire
time, and I thought, that's some bullshit. I said, you teach
your kid to be social, you teach your kid to be bored. You
teach your kid that they don't get to have a tablet in headphones while they're
at a family dinner. Somebody then brought up, well, what if they
have sensory issues or they're autistic or on the spectrum, and then maybe that's
just the way that they are comforted. I said, I never thought about
that. As long as they're not bothering me, why should I care.
I was just being judgy because it was like, you know, when Alison
and Carson were you know, they had crayons and the paper menu, right,
yep, That's what I had, and I was always entertained. I'm
just kidding. I probably was a nightmare. But we didn't go out to
tea you that much, so I don't know, but I will say,
there's no fucking excuse for having your kid crank up their tablet in a nice
restaurant. It's not Apple it's not Perkins. You're at a high end restaurant
playing fifty six dollars for steak and shrimp. You should have fucking quiet from
the next table, whether the kid is running around chasing his sister, yelling
and screaming, or whether he's got his tablet turned up. I'm sorry and
autism unless you are telling me if this, I'll give you an open opportunity.
If you know more about it than I do, and you know that
kids on the spectrum need to be excused in that situation, then let me
know. I don't agree. It's kind of like people say, like,
Okay, the guy that killed three cops, well, what if he was
mentally ill? Mental illness does not excuse killing the two cops and the EMT.
Mental illness does not excuse walking into a school and shooting fifteen kindergarteners.
So I think at some point, when their issue becomes your issue through no
faulty your own, there's no excuse for it. I'll give it another Like
I was in the airport a couple of weeks ago and there was somebody who
was yelling really loudly, like yelling, and I realized it was a kid
who's probably twenty with his dad, and the kid was severely mentally challenged,
okay, and he was yelling, and I'm like, oh, well,
nothing dad can do about that, Nothing I can do about that. You
just kind of ignore it go on with your day. But I think if
you've got a kid that is either being a little dickhead and you don't want
to discipline your kid, Guess what, little Jimmy, you don't get to
watch this in a restaurant. Yeah, Or if your kid is on the
spectrum or whatever and needs to watch it with the volume all the way up,
then you don't go to a high end steakhouse. Yeah. Maybe no,
tell me if I'm wrong. I do not know enough. I honestly
when we were reading, when you were reading this email, and then she
even brought up the fact that like, maybe they have sensory things and that's
why they are allowing it and restaurants aren't able to say something that didn't even
cross my mind. I think what you're asking, I think is almost like
what should have happened in that situation or how should you have handled it differently?
And I think that personally, you should have said something to your server
and said, do you think you could have your manager talk to that table
and ask them to turn it down a little bit? I think that that's
what it is. I do think that a restaurant still has an obligation to
acknowledge issues that are if it's affecting other people in the restaurant. I think
the restaurant still has the ability, at a managerial level, not at the
server level, to handle what's happening at that table. I wouldn't put that
on the server. I think your server was probably beyond fully aware that it
was loud. But they also are working for tips. They're not salaried,
so they're going to sit and be nice to every single one of their tables,
and they're not going to go up and be like, can you please
turn that down? Risking that tip. So that's what I would think is
how you should have handled it, and how the restaurant should have handled it.
But I don't know what the protocol is of managers being able to talk
to people and tell them to have their kids tablet turned down or whatever.
They have really interesting take because I would have not thought to have the manager
go over. I would have complained to the server. Yeah, but yeah,
I think when you no matter where you are, you have a right
to have a moderately peaceful dinner. If you're at a sports bar and you
want quiet and you get mad because somebody is telling a dirty joke at the
bar, Remember you're in a sports bar. You know you can't get mad
because somebody is dropping the F bomb at the bar when you go to you
know, a sports bar. All right, let's talk about another one that
was really interesting. By the way, Thank you, Ashley, I heard
you talking about scams. There's a YouTube channel called run by Social Catfiss that
exposes romance scams, and every one of them is identical. The victim thinks
they've fallen in love with a celebrity or model and blows their life savings on
that person. They eventually end up going to the people who run this channel
to determine if it's real or a scam, and which it is. The
ending goes one or two ways. Either they face reality or they stay in
denial and keep spending their money on this fake celebrity or model. I get
a kick out of it because they always come with the King and Queen nicknames
to call each other. I'm not sure I get that part. Come up
with king and queen nicknames, Oh, like King David or Queen Jenny.
Oh sure, I don't know, Okay, but I will go back to
yes. I a friend of ours, Nate from the show, His mom
thought she was dating James Spader and it was the most ridiculous thing. She
met him on a James Spader fan page and the guy, you know,
leapt and groomed and then wanted money. And I've told the story enough times
I don't need to repeat it. But yeah, but it's so unrealistic.
If you, for example, if you thought that Matthew McConaughey all of a
sudden was messaging you, and you're like, oh my god, Jenny,
Matthew McConaughey, you would go, there's no fucking way that Matthew McConaughey would
miss it with me. Yeah, I would be able to see through that.
But I, yeah, I don't really get that whole romance scam thing.
I don't understand it. I know there's plenty of documentaries and that YouTube
channel that you just brought up, but it's wild to me that people believe
that they could potentially be talking to and or dating a celebrity out of nowhere
that they've never met in person, never met. And that was what Nate's
mom went through, was that they had never met James Spader, but they
were convinced that they were in love and they were going to get married.
And they finally got Mom out of this mindset after a year. She had
spent many thousands of dollars the last one. Dave Jenny Crue, longtime listener,
first time writer. I need your opinion. My maternal grandfather, So
Mom's dad just passed away. His funeral was coming up. For a little
bit of background, my mom and dad had a very messy divorce years ago.
During the divorce, my dad turned my mom's family against her. All
though ever since the divorce, my dad has never talked to or was close
to my maternal grandfather. Do you think my dad has the right to come
to the funeral of someone he never had a true connection with and isn't his
family. Thanks for all you guys. Do you seriously are life savers?
If you guys are still sending out stickers, I'd love one. Yeah,
I'll send you one. I'm a little confused by the question. It sounds
like dad wasn't very nice to Mom's side of the family or had people turn
I think what I was gathering is Mom didn't have a good relationship with her
own family because of dad. Okay, and so now she's saying, after
the divorce and everything, things kind of cleared up. But now Dad is
going to mom's dad's funeral. Yeah, should he be able to? Well,
she says, do you think my dad has the right to come to
the funeral of someone he never had a true connection with and isn't his family.
So this is her dad talking about her mother's dad. Yep, I
wouldn't know that he wants to. Does he want Does he want to?
Because that's weird. My parents both came to each they were divorced when my
mom's both of her parents passed, and my dad still came to those funerals
real quick to pay her respects. And then my mom went to my dad's
mom's funeral. But I thought it was weird, even though like we grew
up and they were married for twenty years, I thought it was a little
bit weird that either of them went to the other's parents' funerals. It's funny
how some people stay close or respectful enough. I mean, like when Julie
died, that's Chase's mom, there was no question was going to go to
her funeral. Absolutely, and we basically set up and hosted her wake and
Susan and you know, I did a lot of the work and we were
happy to do it. I did not go to Chase's stepdad's memorial. I
don't even know if he had had one. To be honest, I think
he did, but I think that it's a matter, Hannah, of whether
he wants to and if you don't want him there, My only advice is
there's nothing you can do. If he wants to come. You really can't
tell him no, yeah, because if you say don't come, that's only
going to cause him to be pissed off and he'll come anyway. So I
don't know if that helped you at all, But let me know how it
works out, all right. That is it for the Minnesota Goodbye Today.
If you got a question or a problem, or you want to bring up
a fun topic, that's fine too, then send us an email to Ryan's
show at KDWB dot com.