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Made a decision. I'll face sunny
sad on. I had a vision by

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what's up? Everybody. Welcome to
our very special Thursday show, and we

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have a very special guest in studio. In fact, she was a guest

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like ten years ago when she was
eight nine, and now we have Lbi.

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She's a woman who's eighteen. I
saw you walk through the gate.

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You look like a mini Stephanie.
I know you look just like your mom,

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so cute. I just wanted to
I had to give you a big

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hug. I'm so happy you're Here's
so everybody's gonna be happy. I listen

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to this. Everybody's been like wanting
to hear from you. You the last

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time when you were on the show, you talked about anxiety and it was

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a big deal. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I remember you was just

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a little baby. I know you
shared your whole your journey with your cool

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therapist who gave you a bunch of
tools and you kind of shared them with

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the audience and the audience was like, oh my gosh, this was so

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helpful. And I played it for
my kid, and you helped a lot

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of people feel less alone. Yes, that makes me very happy, happy

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here. Yeah, well, now
we can like talk about what you've been

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doing since then. It's been a
lot, it's been a lot ten years.

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Yeah, so yeah you first of
all, you were noticing something about

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her face. Yes, I right
before the show, I was like,

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I love your nose ring. It's
so flipping cute. It looks so good

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on you. I thank you.
I have to say, because some of

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these kids these days, they get
that one that goes from one side to

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the sept septem. Yeah, and
I'm a big fan. I like that

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what you got. It's really simple
and it's dainty and so cute. I

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don't know if I could pull off
a septem. I have a lot of

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friends, I have symptoms. They're
cute on other people. I don't think

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it would ever work on me.
But yeah, I know I got.

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I really wanted my nose pierced.
And it was really funny because I've been

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talking about wanting one for a super
long time. But at my job they

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were like, like the day I
started training, they were like, no

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like nose piercings or anything like that, or tattoos. And I was like,

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Okay, so maybe I'll like hold
off because I don't want to get

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in trouble. And then a couple
of months after I started working there,

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I have like three different co workers
who are just walking around with those piercings

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and nobody says anything, and like
some of my other coworkers have tattoos,

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and I was like, well,
no, I really wanted those piercings.

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Like now I've really tempted because like
clearly nobody actually cares, like I think

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they just say that, but they
don't really enforce it. But then over

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the summer I was like, okay, like whatever, I go to camp

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and I come back and my sister
has a nose piercing and I was like,

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oh, like she got it before
me. I was like, now

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I really need to get my nose
pierced. You know. It's it's interesting

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because from what I've known about you
is that you're a basic bitch. That's

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true. It's I will never fail
to admit that you had my basic bitch

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car. I wear my base.
It's true. But then you got a

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little nose ring, which is you
know, a little edgy. It's still

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basic. Yeah, it is right. It gives it gives a little flair,

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you know. Yeah, when she
was little, this whole basic bitch

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thing started when she was pretty young, because Sadie was like, I want

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to make my hair pink, right
and yes, And I was like,

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oh my god, what are the
other mom's gonna think? Like nobody was

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having colored hair this way before that. So I take Sadie into Floyd's.

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We do the a little a pink
streak on both sides, and Elbe's like,

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such the rule follower, it's so
basic. But she's like, oh

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god, I kind of maybe remember
I got pink too. I got a

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stripe of pink in the front,
and then I decided to spice it up

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for some reason, and I got
a one pink strip just in the back

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of my hair, but it wasn't
centered. It was like a little bit

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off to the side so that it
kind of like blended, you know.

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But I remember it faded and then
I did like a bright green. I

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don't really know what made me choose
that, because it was not a good

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color. It was not a flattering
color, but I liked it. And

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then it kind of faded out,
and then I got called coffee head for

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a little bit, you know,
because I had the one like kind of

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it wasn't like a bleached streak.
At this point, it was kind of

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just more like a light light brownish
blonde and then it faded. But then

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I dyed my hair red. You
did you did do that? I was

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a little too scared to bleach my
head though, so I just did it

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over my highlights and it was like
a temporary thing and then it watched out.

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It was like it was like a
semi permanent dye, I want to

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say. We went to Sally's and
we just picked it up up and I

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did all my research on TikTok,
of course, and I was like,

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oh, so there's this one.
It's like high color highlights and I can

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put it on brown hair. And
I was like, and it'll look great

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because I already have highlights, so
it'll like stick to the blonde. And

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it was more red than I even
expected, Like it was it was kind

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of like a reddish tint in the
dark. But then when I went into

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the sun, it looked like I
had bright red hair. Like I have

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pictures on my phone that I show
people and they're like, you didn't have

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red hair, and I'm like,
oh, yes I did. I'm like,

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yes I did, And did you
like it? I did? I

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really liked it. Actually, I
had no regrets. I was really happy

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with it. I think I was
really scared because I did it on like

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a weekend, and then I went
to school on Monday, and I was

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like, oh my god, oh
God, like what's gonna happen. But

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everybody was like, oh my god, you're ready. It's so cool.

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And then I think I did it
again. I think I re dyed it

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over quarantine, like like right after
it faded. It wasn't like I spread

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it out. It was like right
after it fade it, I was like,

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I want to do it all more
time. And then I did it,

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and then I just kind of let
it fade. And then now you're

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all black. Now I'm like your
mama exactly. For big chances nowadays are

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like cutting bangs. Yeah, I
want a little shorter on the bang.

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You look, I mean, you
really look so much like your mom when

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she was young, don't you think, steveny she does. She looks so

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much like you look so much like
her. I just feel like it's almost

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becoming an insult though, because now
I'm so much older, like I do.

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If you look at pictures of me
when I'm young, yeah, I

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think we did a comparison. We
found a baby picture of my mom and

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a baby picture of me, and
I like showed people. I was like,

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what's the difference, and they were
like, I actually don't know which

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one is. It's crazy. Yeah, yeah, like I think we were

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both two in the picture. Yeah, there's one of those. And I

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even have one from like four where
we just look exactly so because in the

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picture too, we have the same
haircut. And I made sure when I

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did the comparison, I made my
black and white because it was white.

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I did a little comparison. We
have like the same like like short bob

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yeah bangs, and you look identical. It's it's kind of interesting that she

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picks the same hairstyle that you.
Yeah, cute, it's very cute.

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But I'm trying to think at what
age, like because you've always been such

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a rule follower. Yeah, do
you think it's the rule following aspect of

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you that makes you like basic?
I'm have you thought about this? I

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haven't really put too much thought into
this. I've kind of just like accepted

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it as how it is. You
know, like I'm basic. That's that's

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how it's going to be. But
like every single time I bring that up

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to people that they're like, no, no, You've got so matched to

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you. And I'm like no,
but I'm like, don't, don't try

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to don't try to make me feel
better. I've already accepted it. I've

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already internalized it. I'm basic like, I gotta be proud, I gotta

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I gotta be rud about it,
you know. I wonder I feel like

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maybe the roots of it are that
you don't you you've never from the anxiety

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I think from when you were young. You don't like to stand out so

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ut like too much of an individual
streak. Yeah, You're like, oh,

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people are going to notice me,
and I like following the trends.

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Yeah, glad, I'm proud.
I will go and I'll be like,

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oh my god, so many people
are doing this, but it's really cute,

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so I'm gonna do it too.
Like a trend is a trend,

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like no shame in your game.
I love it. I have a question

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because it's you're such a rule follower. How do you feel sometimes when you're

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with your mom, like at the
doctor's office and she's given them the business

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and you gotta like kind of stand
like does it because I remember when I

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was a kid, I was my
mother was so you know, overbearing.

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She would argue with people, not
saying that Stephanie does that, but she

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does kind of like you know push, you know, yeah does it?

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How do you feel? Are you
fine with it? Or do you get

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a kick out of it? I
in my head will be like stop stop,

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like it's fine. But then in
the end she's like, see,

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like it didn't do anything. They're
not mad at me, Like, and

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I got what I got, I
got my ship done. Yeah, but

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I can do that, like like
I have a thing where I'll go I

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have anxiety go into restaurants with like
big groups of my friends because they're all

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like like they will all be like, oh, like like talking over each

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other and stuff, which is fine, Like I just don't think they realize

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it. But me sitting there being
the anxious person I am, I'm like,

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all right, guys, one by
one, everybody gotta say what you

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want, Like we have to have
to make it as the least I don't.

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I don't know how to say this, like the least annoying, Yeah,

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as possible, just because I'm like
I don't want any I don't want

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anybody to be mad, Like I
don't want anybody. But it definitely like

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when when I'm out and other people
are like getting up in people's business,

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I'm like, oh my god,
like I'm just gonna I'm gonna step back.

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I'm gonna step back and let that
happen. And I'm not going to

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participate. I Am not gonna I'm
gonna pretend that it's not happening. What

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I what I what? I can't
see you can't hurt me, right,

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la la la, I can't hear
you. I will literally like it will

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happen. It'll happen in like restaurants
or whatever, and like it's happened with

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like friends too, and I'll just
kind of like wander off. I'll be

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like, oh wow, this pair
of jeans is really cut. Oh god,

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I just noticed them, even though
I walk past like six times earlier

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in the store. But yeah,
definitely definitely stems from anxiety, I'd say,

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yeah, and like that just just
not wanting to be the auto one

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out, you know, sure,
I get that. Also, I feel

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like you have a thing of which
I have recognized in you, which is

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just the unknown. You don't like
to do anything that you've never done before.

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Absolutely not. It's right. It's
a no go for me. Like

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like, I'm yeah, I remember
when you were little and you were,

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you know, at the beach and
you were afraid of tsunamis and stuff like

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that. I love the beach Now
I love the beach. I will go

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swimming in the beach. Except I
kind of with the beach. I went

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from hating the beach to like loving
the beach. Like I went to surf

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camp and instead of surfing, like
I got bored of surfing. At some

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point, I was like, can
I just swim? Can I just go

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swim in the surf tide? And
they were like, yeah, in hindsight,

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they should not have done that because
I did almost drown. But I

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had a great time doing it and
I was swimming in these giant waves.

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Now when I go to the beach, I will go swimming, but I

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gotta make sure I can stand because
I don't like looking below me and see

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anohing down there. So I like
being able to stand. Although I will

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go farther out, I don't really
care. But that's amazing. Can we

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I want to ask you about anxiety? Yeah, like, because I feel

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like, well, you know I
don't live with you, but it seems

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like you've gotten a good handle on
it through years since then. Definitely,

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I do think it like comes and
goes a little bit, like there will

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be periods of like months or even
like a couple of years where it's not

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as bad and it's not as like
overbearing in my life. I'd say recently,

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just with all the college stuff,
definitely has come back up more than

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I wish it did. But I
feel like overall, I'm also just kind

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of like self aware about it.
I want to say, like I know

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why it's happening a lot of the
time, which is definitely helpful, is

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like kind of understanding why it's going
on rather than just kind of being in

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the dark and being like I feel
this way, but I don't know what's

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causing it. I don't know why, so I don't know how to fix

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it. It's like, well I
do, and like I can't really stop

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it from happening, but I can
stop it from getting to a point where

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it's just like that's a how do
you do that? Did they did you

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in therapy? Did you learn?
Like I definitely think therapy as like an

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eight year old or a nine year
old was super helpful because I don't remember

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obviously a lot of the stuff she
said, like in the moment, but

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like it definitely just helped me become
more aware of it and kind of just

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get a better understanding of it in
general. And so like even my mom

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will just be like, hey,
do you think that it's happening because of

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this? And I'll just have this
like aha moment in my head where I'm

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like, oh, like I'm definitely
stressing about this, and like I hate

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change, same with like it's the
same thing with the unknown. Hate change.

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Can't do it. Love everything to
be the same unless it's something that's

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clearly good change, And then I'm
like, oh, but like if it's

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something where I don't know what's going
to come out of it, like I

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don't know whether it's going to be
good or bad, I hate it and

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like it gives me lots of anxiety, and so I think it's just good

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for me to know, Like,
hey, I also tend to what's the

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00:13:54,559 --> 00:14:00,360
word catastrophize. I tend to catastrophize
a lot, and so I kind of

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just have to take it down in
my head and I'm like, hey,

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you gotta remember you hate change,
and this is change, Like, this

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is what's going on. And you're
also probably got a gaslight myself a little

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bit like you're you're being too dramatic, like you're you're catastrophizing right now.

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00:14:18,919 --> 00:14:22,840
And then obviously it doesn't like fully
remedy it like I'm not just like oh,

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like no more. But it helps
me to get a grasp on like

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00:14:28,399 --> 00:14:31,519
what I'm feeling a little bit.
You know, God, that's amazing,

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Elbee, I'm so proud of you. Thank you. Wow, so insightful.

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00:14:37,240 --> 00:14:41,120
Oh, let's take a quick break. I'm gonna have Natalia listen to

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00:14:41,159 --> 00:14:46,960
this. Yeah, let's take a
break. Okay, we're back. I

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think, like, what does it
feel like though, when you're feeling anxiety?

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00:14:50,080 --> 00:14:56,240
Do you feel like because you have
had some really big disappointments, yeah,

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00:14:56,279 --> 00:15:01,879
you know, starting last year,
yeah, and year, And does

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it feel like when you start getting
anxious, does it feel like it's about

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00:15:05,799 --> 00:15:09,000
that or does it feel like it's
just you just don't know what it's about.

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So sometimes I'll feel like it'll start
from that and then the problem with

229
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my anxiety is it'll kind of just
start to latch onto other things that didn't

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make me anxious before, so like
even when I was younger. It started

231
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with the beach, and then from
there it just latched onto other things that

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I hadn't really been concerned about before, like being by myself. It started

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where when I was in a parking
lot and my mom would go put a

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00:15:33,879 --> 00:15:37,759
cart away, I could not sit
in the car for twenty seconds by myself

235
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because I was so anxious, which
that was not a problem before, but

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because I started being anxious about the
other thing, then I was like,

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oh, well now I'm anxious about
this. Now I'm anxious about this,

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And I think it still kind of
applies where like I'll start being anxious about

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00:15:56,480 --> 00:16:02,039
one thing, and then other small
things that didn't really bothered me before won't

240
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even like make me super anxious,
but I'll notice that I get a little

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00:16:03,919 --> 00:16:10,080
more tense in other situations just because
I started being anxious about that one thing,

242
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So like, I don't know,
it just kind of it kind of

243
00:16:14,879 --> 00:16:19,080
spreads almost, which sucks, right, yeah, right, which is normal

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when that happens. For sure.
I want to talk about the college thing

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00:16:25,200 --> 00:16:29,679
because I feel like a lot of
parents, you know, we were going

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00:16:29,679 --> 00:16:33,240
through it together and not that it
was happening to me. But you know,

247
00:16:33,480 --> 00:16:38,360
we were obviously having a lot of
talks about like get on those applications

248
00:16:38,440 --> 00:16:42,799
and having some power struggles with that. And you had taken a lot of

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00:16:42,919 --> 00:16:48,039
really hard classes. You know,
you've been building building your schedules since you

250
00:16:48,080 --> 00:16:53,720
were pretty young. Yes, and
we you had that college counselor, right,

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00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:59,759
and like tell me a little bit, like just from your perspective,

252
00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:03,480
yeah, like what was the pressure
like at school? Like how are other

253
00:17:03,519 --> 00:17:07,160
people handling it? It was It
was definitely really difficult, just because the

254
00:17:07,279 --> 00:17:12,960
around the environment around me at school
was so competitive and so like it felt

255
00:17:12,960 --> 00:17:18,400
like a lot of pressure because nobody
wanted to talk about it. But at

256
00:17:18,400 --> 00:17:22,880
the same time, everyone was talking
about it, so like within my friend

257
00:17:22,880 --> 00:17:26,200
group, it wouldn't be like a
conversation where we'd be like, how are

258
00:17:26,240 --> 00:17:30,480
your college applications going? Like nobody
would do that. Nobody was like like,

259
00:17:30,839 --> 00:17:34,559
That's why it was hard for me
because sometimes I didn't really know what

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was going on because my friends just
didn't really talk about it. But at

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the same time, everybody was like, oh, I want to go here.

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00:17:41,839 --> 00:17:45,000
I took all these classes to get
into here. So in my head.

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I was like still comparing myself to
everybody, and I was like,

264
00:17:48,880 --> 00:17:53,920
oh God, like I took all
these crazy classes and I like ap physics.

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I know, it's literally tortured myself
in high school over all these classes.

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And then at the same time,
I was like, well, this

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person took this many classes, and
I have a feeling that they're going to

268
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get into these schools, So what
if I don't get into this one,

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which definitely made it a little bit
more pressure in terms of college applications.

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And then I thought I had a
lot of time, which in hindsight,

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00:18:18,079 --> 00:18:22,519
it's not that much time for like
I don't know how to phrase this,

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It's not it's not enough time for
what you're going to be doing in the

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future, like like you have like
three months to collect everything that you need

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to get into your possibly next four
or five years of school. And I

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think going into it, I was
like, ah, like, everything's not

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due till November. It's only August, Like and what were your friends,

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Like, were you kind of like
that way we're doing a thing. I

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am in a group full of procrastinators, so I didn't feel as was like

279
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inclined to jump on it because I
want to say. I know probably like

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00:19:06,440 --> 00:19:11,200
eight or nine people that started their
U SEE applications the day it was due.

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Wow. I didn't do that.
Thankfully, thanks to my mother,

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I submitted them like a week early, which it was definitely a lot of

283
00:19:18,680 --> 00:19:22,440
pressure at the time, but I
was feeling so relieved when everybody was coming

284
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into school being like, oh my
god, I just wrote my essays at

285
00:19:26,640 --> 00:19:30,640
three in the morning, right and
they are due the next like at night

286
00:19:30,920 --> 00:19:34,480
the following day, and I had
already had mind done for like a week,

287
00:19:34,960 --> 00:19:41,920
but it was just like everybody was
waiting to do theirs, and so

288
00:19:41,960 --> 00:19:47,319
I was like, oh, so, even though I was kind of like

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00:19:47,480 --> 00:19:52,319
on time for mine, I felt
ahead of everyone, which is which kind

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00:19:52,359 --> 00:19:56,200
of sucks because I was like,
well, like my mom would be like,

291
00:19:56,640 --> 00:20:00,759
you need to submit this now,
and like you're you're not ahead.

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00:20:00,839 --> 00:20:04,359
But then in my head I'd be
like, well, everybody else hasn't even

293
00:20:04,400 --> 00:20:07,920
started this, so I'm the only
one that's done it, which means I'm

294
00:20:07,920 --> 00:20:11,720
ahead, when in reality I was
just like, oh, I think everybody's

295
00:20:11,920 --> 00:20:15,240
kind of just like slacking a little
bit, which, you know, it

296
00:20:15,279 --> 00:20:17,359
worked out for a lot of people. A lot of people that I know

297
00:20:17,440 --> 00:20:23,000
got into great schools. But I
think also I tend to work better under

298
00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:26,279
pressure, yes, and so I
was kind of waiting for the moment to

299
00:20:26,319 --> 00:20:29,359
be like, oh, I really
got to get on this, and then

300
00:20:29,400 --> 00:20:32,960
I would focus. Focus. It's
hard for me to focus if I'm not

301
00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:36,640
under pressure. Like at school,
I did do a lot of my work

302
00:20:36,680 --> 00:20:38,079
ahead of time, but there was
also a lot of work that I would

303
00:20:38,119 --> 00:20:41,039
like come to me like the day
before, and then I'd be like,

304
00:20:41,119 --> 00:20:45,200
all right, well now I'm forced
to do this, and so I write

305
00:20:45,240 --> 00:20:48,799
like my best work possible because I
was so like laser focused on getting it

306
00:20:48,839 --> 00:20:53,640
done and it usually worked. But
you know, right, I feel like

307
00:20:53,720 --> 00:20:59,240
everybody's like that. I say,
I know, I wait till the last

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00:20:59,279 --> 00:21:02,960
minute to do stump and then and
then I just get it done. And

309
00:21:03,200 --> 00:21:06,559
yeah, horrible rastinator, especially if
it's something you don't want to do.

310
00:21:06,880 --> 00:21:10,359
Yeah, you know, or I
know you're like this too, elbe,

311
00:21:10,480 --> 00:21:12,799
But like the critical voice comes in
if you have too much time, you

312
00:21:12,920 --> 00:21:17,119
get too much time to like play
or hate yourself and yeah, like oh

313
00:21:17,160 --> 00:21:18,759
this isn't good. Yeah, but
if you just have to get it done,

314
00:21:18,799 --> 00:21:22,200
you're like, Okay, that's exactly
what I would do. And it's

315
00:21:22,240 --> 00:21:26,079
so funny because I write a lot
of essays like that, where I'll be

316
00:21:26,119 --> 00:21:29,160
like, oh God, Like I
have an essay, it's done a week,

317
00:21:29,240 --> 00:21:32,200
it's fine, and then I'm like
five days go by and I'm like,

318
00:21:32,440 --> 00:21:34,279
oh my god, I have to
turn this essay in. I really

319
00:21:34,279 --> 00:21:37,799
got to start it. And so
instead of sitting there working on it every

320
00:21:37,839 --> 00:21:41,319
single day for a week and being
like, oh god, this sentence sounded

321
00:21:41,440 --> 00:21:45,599
like shit, like I gotta get
rid of it, I just kind of

322
00:21:45,640 --> 00:21:48,759
sit down. I'm like, all
right. Instead of focusing a sentence by

323
00:21:48,799 --> 00:21:51,839
sentence, I'm like, okay,
do you think I can get two paragraphs

324
00:21:51,839 --> 00:21:55,200
done in twenty minutes? Like let's
let's sit down and make a goal and

325
00:21:55,200 --> 00:21:57,960
then I'll just like speedwrite it and
then i'll go back with whatever time I

326
00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:02,200
have, which is usually time,
and I'll be like okay, and i'll

327
00:22:02,359 --> 00:22:07,480
six stuff later. So great that
your mom is a right exactly like and

328
00:22:07,759 --> 00:22:11,359
has she helped you, Like yeah, especially with college stuff too, Like

329
00:22:11,440 --> 00:22:15,319
with the college applications, I read
them all to my mom and she like

330
00:22:15,480 --> 00:22:18,119
helped me out with all of them, which was a super, super super

331
00:22:18,160 --> 00:22:22,440
big help, because honestly, it
made me feel more confident about some of

332
00:22:22,440 --> 00:22:26,240
them because I was like, oh, well, you know, yeah,

333
00:22:26,279 --> 00:22:29,880
I got a second opinion, right, and she likes them, and I

334
00:22:29,920 --> 00:22:33,039
like what I wrote, so that
means it's probably well written, you know.

335
00:22:33,119 --> 00:22:37,880
Yeah, let's hope fingers crossed.
Yeah, but yeah, well,

336
00:22:37,880 --> 00:22:41,920
rewriting is the worst part. So
she didn't like to hear when I would

337
00:22:41,960 --> 00:22:45,960
have notes. But when you would
make some adjustments, sometimes you'd be like,

338
00:22:45,039 --> 00:22:51,759
oh it just because I I would
write something down and I really liked,

339
00:22:51,799 --> 00:22:52,599
Like I'd have this thing in my
head where I was like, oh

340
00:22:52,640 --> 00:22:56,480
my God, like he's gonna be
the best thing I've ever written, Like

341
00:22:56,519 --> 00:22:59,680
I have so many ideas, like
and I write them all down. And

342
00:22:59,680 --> 00:23:03,119
then what was the what was the
word? A minimum like three hundred and

343
00:23:03,200 --> 00:23:07,000
fifty words and I'd have one p
i Q and it was like seven hundred

344
00:23:07,039 --> 00:23:10,680
words, and I was like,
oh, I gotta get rid of like

345
00:23:10,799 --> 00:23:15,079
two thirds of this for a personal
and personal insight question, which is the

346
00:23:15,200 --> 00:23:18,000
applications. Yeah, and you had
to write four of those and each of

347
00:23:18,039 --> 00:23:22,640
them where I want. I'm guessing
I think they were like three hundred three

348
00:23:22,680 --> 00:23:25,279
fifty words, correct me if I'm
wrong. I don't really know about that.

349
00:23:26,119 --> 00:23:29,680
And I have one that was like, I don't know, like six

350
00:23:29,799 --> 00:23:32,200
hundred words, and I was like, oh god, I have to cut

351
00:23:32,240 --> 00:23:33,920
like half of this out. And
then my mom would be like, hey,

352
00:23:33,920 --> 00:23:37,039
like, I think you can shorten
this part or cut this out,

353
00:23:37,079 --> 00:23:41,960
and she'd like say she'd be like, hey, like, I don't.

354
00:23:41,960 --> 00:23:45,319
I don't really think we like need
this sentence, and it would be like

355
00:23:45,359 --> 00:23:48,440
my favorite sentence in the way,
I really want to keep it in.

356
00:23:48,680 --> 00:23:52,160
But then once it was gone and
like I kind of restructured the whole thing,

357
00:23:52,200 --> 00:23:55,720
I'd be like, oh, this
definitely sounds a lot better, like

358
00:23:55,759 --> 00:23:59,519
in the end, once it was
all corrected and shortened. But can I

359
00:23:59,599 --> 00:24:02,920
because I'm going through this now,
you know. Yeah, I had two

360
00:24:02,960 --> 00:24:06,759
of them. What time of year
were you doing this? Do you remember?

361
00:24:06,880 --> 00:24:11,039
I'm just curious. Definitely. I
was working on everything for the majority

362
00:24:11,119 --> 00:24:15,880
of October, I would say,
because the deadlines. So I did the

363
00:24:15,920 --> 00:24:22,000
common app and the UC applications,
and the Common app had all different due

364
00:24:22,039 --> 00:24:26,000
dates, like some schools needed supplementals
before, but a lot of stuff was

365
00:24:26,079 --> 00:24:32,039
due either November first. I had
one that was due I think the fifteenth,

366
00:24:32,079 --> 00:24:34,960
and then all the ucs are do
November thirtieth, and so for the

367
00:24:36,000 --> 00:24:41,880
majority of October. And I want
to say I kind of started thinking about

368
00:24:41,920 --> 00:24:47,000
what I wanted to write about in
August like a year ago today. Yeah,

369
00:24:47,200 --> 00:24:51,839
I started kind of like debating about
like, oh, like do I

370
00:24:51,880 --> 00:24:53,319
want to write about this or do
I That's where I'm at right now,

371
00:24:53,440 --> 00:24:59,000
But then I don't think I actually
sat down and started writing anything until September.

372
00:24:59,319 --> 00:25:02,279
I want to say, at least
yeah, yeah, Well, my

373
00:25:02,400 --> 00:25:07,079
kids are not in AP classes.
They know they're not they're not LB's,

374
00:25:07,160 --> 00:25:08,839
but yeah, they got it.
I'm like, I want them to be

375
00:25:08,880 --> 00:25:11,799
early with it. I want them
waiting to the last minute. I would

376
00:25:11,839 --> 00:25:18,200
say that I regret not doing it
earlier because it was just really stressful in

377
00:25:18,240 --> 00:25:22,680
the end, just knowing like,
oh my god, I have like a

378
00:25:22,720 --> 00:25:26,480
week to write all of this,
like I really need to finish it.

379
00:25:27,160 --> 00:25:34,000
I would definitely say doing it earlier
would have saved me so much, because

380
00:25:34,039 --> 00:25:40,000
then I would have also felt I
felt really good about the essays I submitted,

381
00:25:40,359 --> 00:25:41,960
but in the end I would read
them and I'd be like, oh,

382
00:25:42,000 --> 00:25:45,240
well, if I had more time, I probably would have caught this

383
00:25:45,319 --> 00:25:49,720
and like I want to change this, and I just I wish I had

384
00:25:49,720 --> 00:25:56,319
a little more time to like read
over everything. And also it's super stressful

385
00:25:56,440 --> 00:26:00,559
getting everything else together, Like you
have to figure out all your supplemental and

386
00:26:00,559 --> 00:26:03,279
then you have to figure out or
like the extra Different schools will give you

387
00:26:03,480 --> 00:26:08,359
different essay prompts. Like you write
one main essay. It's called your common

388
00:26:08,400 --> 00:26:12,519
app essay. A lot of schools
except the common app right, right,

389
00:26:12,599 --> 00:26:15,240
you know what that is, right, It's one application. It goes you

390
00:26:15,279 --> 00:26:19,359
can send it to a lot of
different schools, but each school has like

391
00:26:19,519 --> 00:26:22,880
it's tricky because each school will be
like, well we want to know we

392
00:26:22,720 --> 00:26:26,079
have we have this other essay that's
like why do you want to go to

393
00:26:26,079 --> 00:26:32,319
this school? All of the schools
will give you a supplemental and it's basically

394
00:26:32,359 --> 00:26:37,720
the same question worded differently. So
it's like what is a trait of yours

395
00:26:37,799 --> 00:26:41,000
that you feel like would fit in
at the school or something like that.

396
00:26:41,079 --> 00:26:45,759
Like usually the supplementals are just them
wanting to be a little more personal and

397
00:26:45,799 --> 00:26:51,599
just like ask you why would you
fit in at their school? In particular?

398
00:26:52,079 --> 00:26:53,960
And I had a couple of those
that I had to write. But

399
00:26:55,000 --> 00:26:59,119
then on top of that, I
don't think that people realize because I definitely

400
00:26:59,119 --> 00:27:03,960
did not realize going in to the
common app or the UC application, you

401
00:27:03,039 --> 00:27:11,039
have to write individually about all of
your extracurriculars. Like I going into it,

402
00:27:11,079 --> 00:27:15,279
I was like, that's gonna be
easy, Like I'm just gonna write

403
00:27:15,279 --> 00:27:19,279
down what I did, what my
position was, and what year. No,

404
00:27:19,799 --> 00:27:23,319
they asked you to write a description
about what you did, like you

405
00:27:23,400 --> 00:27:26,880
got to make a full list,
Like I had to do everything on a

406
00:27:26,920 --> 00:27:33,079
separate document. Her my college counselor
asking me to do that, which was

407
00:27:33,119 --> 00:27:37,079
definitely helpful, But I had no
idea that, like the extracurriculars and all

408
00:27:37,079 --> 00:27:40,720
that type of stuff, that was
a whole separate process that I was just

409
00:27:40,799 --> 00:27:45,720
like not realizing, right, going
to happen, right, And then not

410
00:27:45,920 --> 00:27:49,160
to mention the you have to ask
your teachers for letters of recommendation, and

411
00:27:49,200 --> 00:27:53,519
then to do that you have to
write a bragsheet. Yeah, they can't,

412
00:27:53,559 --> 00:27:56,799
they don't know, they don't know
who's going to a big school.

413
00:27:56,799 --> 00:28:00,559
So she had to write a whole
separate thing talking about herself. Of that

414
00:28:00,759 --> 00:28:04,000
different teachers want a different like from
then on top of that, to my

415
00:28:04,039 --> 00:28:07,440
disappointment, ucs don't even take them. So I was like, dang,

416
00:28:07,519 --> 00:28:11,240
I gotta get all these for like
two schools man, Like I'm applying to

417
00:28:11,680 --> 00:28:15,680
University of Oregon Washington. I was
like, the majority of the schools I

418
00:28:15,720 --> 00:28:19,519
want to go to don't even take
these. So is it different? Out

419
00:28:19,519 --> 00:28:23,680
of state? All different? So
it's like out of states or basically how

420
00:28:23,680 --> 00:28:27,359
it works is at least for me, there was three different applications. There

421
00:28:27,440 --> 00:28:32,079
was the uc application, which is
just the p i q's. It's one

422
00:28:32,119 --> 00:28:37,039
application for all how many ucs are
there, nine eight or nine UC's.

423
00:28:37,200 --> 00:28:41,240
Then there's the common app which is
basically all out of state schools, like

424
00:28:42,599 --> 00:28:48,519
every single school. Harvard's on the
common app like all the IVY Leagues,

425
00:28:48,039 --> 00:28:52,519
all of those type of schools.
But then all the just like University of

426
00:28:52,559 --> 00:28:56,119
Oregon because on the same application as
Harvard, they're all on the same one.

427
00:28:56,920 --> 00:29:02,000
And there's and then there's the cal
State or the CSU application. That

428
00:29:02,039 --> 00:29:03,240
was the easiest one because you don't
have to write any essays for that.

429
00:29:03,279 --> 00:29:07,039
You just have to put in a
bunch of information. So you have to

430
00:29:07,039 --> 00:29:14,359
put in just like extracurriculars, grades, right, like just kind of like

431
00:29:14,440 --> 00:29:18,000
financial situation, all the all the
normal college stuff. But you don't have

432
00:29:18,039 --> 00:29:21,839
to write any essays, which I
wish I did because I did not get

433
00:29:21,880 --> 00:29:26,119
into the CSU as I applied to
and I feel like I probably could have

434
00:29:26,559 --> 00:29:30,440
if they took essays, right,
but her essays were so good. I

435
00:29:30,559 --> 00:29:33,359
bet. So she wanted to go
to school in California, right, This

436
00:29:33,400 --> 00:29:37,279
is I've talked about this on the
podcast before, but I want to hear

437
00:29:37,279 --> 00:29:40,920
it from your point of view.
So you decided, like I really know

438
00:29:40,960 --> 00:29:42,519
what I want. I want to
go to a UC, which a lot

439
00:29:42,559 --> 00:29:47,920
of your friends did. Yeah,
but we didn't know, which I think

440
00:29:47,920 --> 00:29:51,759
just played a huge part. Because
she took ten aps in school, It's

441
00:29:51,759 --> 00:29:55,440
insane, a very rigorous schedule.
She got great grades. I know,

442
00:29:55,920 --> 00:29:59,240
she never got a C. The
kids never seen. See. She was

443
00:29:59,279 --> 00:30:03,759
like all very hard worker. Yeah, had plenty of extracurriculars, camp counselor,

444
00:30:03,880 --> 00:30:08,000
lots of volunteer hours. The thing
that freaking tripped her up, which

445
00:30:08,000 --> 00:30:11,920
we didn't know, was that she
applied for psychology and who would have known.

446
00:30:12,440 --> 00:30:19,440
Yeah, certain majors are impossible.
It was definitely disappointing because I knew

447
00:30:19,440 --> 00:30:25,640
that I was a competitive like applicant, but I also know that a lot

448
00:30:25,680 --> 00:30:30,759
of people applying to UC's were more
competitive than me, which is fine,

449
00:30:30,880 --> 00:30:34,079
Like, I'm very happy with the
amount that I was able to put onto

450
00:30:34,119 --> 00:30:37,759
my application because I also feel like
I had a really good social life and

451
00:30:37,799 --> 00:30:42,599
like I got to do a lot
of fun stuff during high school, so

452
00:30:42,680 --> 00:30:48,240
I didn't feel like I had to
like dedicate my whole life to school.

453
00:30:48,599 --> 00:30:53,440
But I was also still like doing
well. But in like, on the

454
00:30:53,480 --> 00:31:00,160
other hand, a lot of people
were like I volunteered at six different hospitals,

455
00:31:00,680 --> 00:31:06,720
and I have three jobs and I
play seven instruments, and I was

456
00:31:06,759 --> 00:31:12,359
like, speak, man, there's
always do that. And a lot of

457
00:31:12,359 --> 00:31:18,680
people I didn't realize applied to psychology
because it's just such like a it's like

458
00:31:18,680 --> 00:31:22,839
a versatile right, Like I don't
want to say easy, because it's not

459
00:31:22,839 --> 00:31:26,960
easy at all, but like it's
interesting, And a lot of people I

460
00:31:26,000 --> 00:31:32,839
did not realize applied to psychology,
And I was like, looking up online,

461
00:31:32,920 --> 00:31:37,440
I was like, why does it
say that psychology is like the most

462
00:31:37,599 --> 00:31:41,880
impacted major at like two thirds of
the schools that I applied to, and

463
00:31:41,960 --> 00:31:45,640
so that kind of had me worrying. I was like, oh god,

464
00:31:45,799 --> 00:31:49,440
like if I applied to I don't
want to see an easier major, but

465
00:31:49,519 --> 00:31:53,839
just like a lesser applied to one. There's like a top eight. There's

466
00:31:53,920 --> 00:31:59,079
like the eight most popular major.
It's like engineering, computer science, psychology,

467
00:32:00,079 --> 00:32:06,039
educations, right, which I didn't
know, And I was like,

468
00:32:06,319 --> 00:32:09,440
dang, like I feel like missed
opportunity. I wish I looked through other

469
00:32:09,480 --> 00:32:15,480
majors to be like, oh,
well, this one also seems interesting.

470
00:32:15,759 --> 00:32:19,160
I feel like I would be happy
if I applied with this major, and

471
00:32:19,720 --> 00:32:23,839
like a third of the people are
applying to this major and to psychology.

472
00:32:23,920 --> 00:32:31,759
So that was definitely like the worst
disappointment is a nobody said nobody. Nobody

473
00:32:31,960 --> 00:32:37,000
said anything. They were like,
yes, like psychology is a great one,

474
00:32:37,079 --> 00:32:38,680
like go for it. But I
was not warned, like I was

475
00:32:38,759 --> 00:32:45,480
even yeah, I was even no
heads up being like hey, just letting

476
00:32:45,480 --> 00:32:49,319
you know a lot of people want
to apply to psychology. And on top

477
00:32:49,400 --> 00:32:53,519
of that, I want to be
a therapist. Like obviously I'm very open

478
00:32:53,599 --> 00:32:59,720
to like exploring careers in college,
but since I was younger, I've been

479
00:32:59,759 --> 00:33:04,920
like I definitely know that I am
interested in a career in psychology. I

480
00:33:04,960 --> 00:33:09,039
didn't know that I don't have to
major in psychology to do that, and

481
00:33:09,200 --> 00:33:16,119
nobody tells you that. Like everybody's
like, oh, you want to be

482
00:33:16,200 --> 00:33:20,839
a computer scientist, you got a
major in computer science. Like you want

483
00:33:20,839 --> 00:33:23,759
to be a therapist, you got
a major in psychology or social work.

484
00:33:24,000 --> 00:33:29,200
I didn't know that until I talked
to a counselor at my community college that

485
00:33:29,240 --> 00:33:31,079
I'm going to, and she's like, yeah, girl, Like I'm majored

486
00:33:31,160 --> 00:33:36,039
in dance, like my therapist majored
in dance. Dude, Like, you

487
00:33:36,079 --> 00:33:39,640
can go to grad school. You
don't have to do a major that interests

488
00:33:39,640 --> 00:33:45,359
you and is not going to take
up all your time because you just have

489
00:33:45,440 --> 00:33:50,880
to do well. You don't have
to do well in a subject that's exactly

490
00:33:50,920 --> 00:33:55,240
targeted towards your career goal. Just
do something you like you can do well

491
00:33:55,279 --> 00:34:01,960
in it. Brittany, she majored
in criminal psychotic criminal psychology. Yeah,

492
00:34:02,000 --> 00:34:07,000
but yeah, I mean it's so
what would you have picked? What would

493
00:34:07,039 --> 00:34:13,719
you have picked instead? Honestly,
my major now that I'm going into Pierced

494
00:34:13,760 --> 00:34:20,760
with Pierce College is sociology, which
is like a similar major, but it's

495
00:34:20,880 --> 00:34:25,880
a little bit more laid back and
kind of gets more of my interests,

496
00:34:25,920 --> 00:34:30,519
like because I am genuinely interested in
psychology, Like that's one of the major

497
00:34:30,559 --> 00:34:34,280
reasons I was doing it is because
I was like, I really like what

498
00:34:34,400 --> 00:34:37,719
I learned and what I study.
Like I took AP psychology hard class.

499
00:34:37,920 --> 00:34:43,480
Yeah, I loved the material,
like loved it. It was super interesting.

500
00:34:43,559 --> 00:34:45,880
I was I liked being in that
class because I was like, oh,

501
00:34:45,000 --> 00:34:51,079
like this is interesting stuff. But
I feel like sociology kind of like

502
00:34:51,159 --> 00:34:55,199
targets some of that but also is
more interesting. And also I'm more of

503
00:34:55,239 --> 00:35:01,320
like the social science part of psychology
Rather then I didn't realize that I really

504
00:35:01,360 --> 00:35:06,679
wanted to go to UC Santa Barbara, And in hindsight, I'm kind of

505
00:35:06,679 --> 00:35:10,400
glad I did not get in with
that major because I didn't realize that the

506
00:35:10,400 --> 00:35:15,599
major is psychology and brain sciences,
so it's like the neuroscience like have to

507
00:35:15,639 --> 00:35:22,639
take chemistry, biology, physics part
rather than sociology, where I can literally

508
00:35:22,679 --> 00:35:25,519
take sociology classes and they're like you're
solid, Well, I wouldn't know what

509
00:35:25,599 --> 00:35:29,719
you're what. I want to hear
more about this Let's take a quick break,

510
00:35:29,719 --> 00:35:32,760
because I want to know where your
next steps are. This this ins

511
00:35:32,800 --> 00:35:38,280
aspiring. Let's take a quick break, and we're back with Elby. Hello.

512
00:35:38,679 --> 00:35:42,800
I feel like I'm in like therapy. I feel like, you know,

513
00:35:43,360 --> 00:35:49,119
she's amazing, So everybody interesting that
we all cried. I cried.

514
00:35:49,159 --> 00:35:54,119
I probably cried on the show when
you started breaking getting disappointed about college,

515
00:35:54,280 --> 00:35:57,960
even though I didn't even go to
college. I don't know if you know

516
00:35:57,960 --> 00:36:01,440
about Alby, I mean you see
like it did. I wouldn't worry about

517
00:36:01,440 --> 00:36:06,800
it too much. I mean,
listen from in my mind. You know,

518
00:36:06,920 --> 00:36:10,880
John and I have different approaches,
but he is like college all the

519
00:36:10,920 --> 00:36:14,679
way, you really need to go
to college. But then I feel like

520
00:36:15,039 --> 00:36:16,480
between the two of us, I
ended up having to kind of be the

521
00:36:16,480 --> 00:36:22,599
heavy yeah not college because he didn't
want to be to like to your hardcore.

522
00:36:22,760 --> 00:36:27,440
So Elby and I feel like had
some of some of our most tense

523
00:36:27,880 --> 00:36:30,760
yea months because I felt like I
had to be like on her all the

524
00:36:30,800 --> 00:36:34,400
time and she didn't want me to
be on her all the time, and

525
00:36:34,440 --> 00:36:38,920
I didn't know how to parent,
like I didn't genuinely didn't know whether to

526
00:36:39,119 --> 00:36:42,840
what what am I doing the right
thing by forcing it all the time.

527
00:36:42,880 --> 00:36:45,280
Should I should I just let her
do her thing? But in hindsight,

528
00:36:45,440 --> 00:36:49,199
LB, are you glad that she? Oh? Yeah, because in my

529
00:36:49,280 --> 00:36:52,440
head I was like I feel like
I kind of got it down. And

530
00:36:52,519 --> 00:36:58,239
that's why I would sometimes get frustrated
because I was hearing about it all the

531
00:36:58,280 --> 00:37:00,920
time, and I was like,
because the problem is what I don't even

532
00:37:00,920 --> 00:37:06,119
think my mom realizes that even though
my friends like didn't talk about it,

533
00:37:06,159 --> 00:37:08,440
I was still getting asked about it
by a lot of other people. So

534
00:37:08,519 --> 00:37:13,800
like she would ask me about it
a lot, but not as much.

535
00:37:14,719 --> 00:37:16,960
But to me, it was like, oh my god, she's asked me

536
00:37:16,960 --> 00:37:21,320
about it once today, but I've
heard about it four times today already,

537
00:37:21,880 --> 00:37:25,960
So it would kind of all be
like blurry in my head, and I

538
00:37:27,039 --> 00:37:29,559
was like, oh my god,
I just feel like this is like all

539
00:37:29,599 --> 00:37:34,440
I get asked about, Like like, ah, I cannot I would just

540
00:37:34,480 --> 00:37:37,960
get so frustrated because I was like, I literally cannot hear this anymore.

541
00:37:38,000 --> 00:37:40,920
I understand, like I get it, like I need to do it,

542
00:37:42,039 --> 00:37:45,880
especially at your age. But I
was just also like my teachers they don't

543
00:37:45,920 --> 00:37:50,920
give a fuck, like they do
not care. They don't care how your

544
00:37:50,920 --> 00:37:54,039
college applications are going. They care
about their class and that's it. So

545
00:37:54,159 --> 00:38:00,559
on top of that, I had
teachers assigning me all this work attending like

546
00:38:00,599 --> 00:38:06,639
college applications did not exist, and
so I was having a billion different people

547
00:38:06,679 --> 00:38:08,599
going are you doing your applications?
How your applications going? You need to

548
00:38:08,599 --> 00:38:12,239
start your applications. And then on
top of that, I was having a

549
00:38:12,320 --> 00:38:15,199
pe teachers being like, hey,
we have a test on Monday. You

550
00:38:15,280 --> 00:38:21,239
have six assignments. Do Friday.
If you fail, you fail the class.

551
00:38:21,239 --> 00:38:24,239
Like that was like my physics teacher
did not do well in physics.

552
00:38:24,280 --> 00:38:30,000
I will say that that was not
my best class first see ever second semester

553
00:38:30,079 --> 00:38:37,760
of physics. But it was definitely
just like super frustrating because and like it

554
00:38:37,800 --> 00:38:42,199
wasn't even my mom's fault because she
was just she was just trying to help

555
00:38:42,199 --> 00:38:46,039
me out, which in the end
I appreciated so much because I definitely even

556
00:38:46,039 --> 00:38:50,280
though I feel like I had it
on lock, I feel like I would

557
00:38:50,440 --> 00:38:54,519
not have gotten it done at least
in the amount of time that I did.

558
00:38:54,599 --> 00:38:59,440
Like I definitely feel like if I
had not had her being like,

559
00:39:00,480 --> 00:39:02,639
how are your applications, going like
you need to sit down and do it.

560
00:39:02,719 --> 00:39:05,960
Then I would have been one of
those people up at three in the

561
00:39:05,960 --> 00:39:08,039
morning going, oh my god,
I thought even what got it done?

562
00:39:08,079 --> 00:39:13,280
It didn't get done right until I
was like the first time ever being like,

563
00:39:13,320 --> 00:39:15,320
well, then you're not leaving the
house until you do. Yeah.

564
00:39:15,360 --> 00:39:19,280
No, I got grounded. Yeah. I basically got grounded, which was

565
00:39:20,559 --> 00:39:23,039
horrible, but also I did get
a lot of work done in that time.

566
00:39:23,079 --> 00:39:25,719
And then I was like, oh, like you felt better, but

567
00:39:25,840 --> 00:39:29,679
you didn't get grounded in the like, Okay, you did something wrong.

568
00:39:29,679 --> 00:39:31,960
You No, I just got graveled, Like until you do this, then

569
00:39:32,000 --> 00:39:36,400
you can then I can go right, Yeah, exactly. No. I

570
00:39:36,440 --> 00:39:38,320
remember I was like, oh my
god. Like that. That was when

571
00:39:38,360 --> 00:39:43,199
it really set in because my dad
came in and he was like, yo,

572
00:39:44,159 --> 00:39:49,000
you're not doing it. You haven't
made enough progress. You're not going

573
00:39:49,039 --> 00:39:53,239
out. But Dad gave me a
day. He was like, you don't

574
00:39:53,280 --> 00:39:59,559
leave until Monday. Oh that's why. I was like, well, what

575
00:39:59,599 --> 00:40:02,679
if I get get it done before
then? And he was like no,

576
00:40:02,800 --> 00:40:06,519
good. But then you were like, just get it done and you can

577
00:40:06,599 --> 00:40:08,079
leave. And I was like,
but that's it. That I can't go

578
00:40:08,199 --> 00:40:12,679
until Monday. It's only Friday,
like I got I think. I got

579
00:40:12,719 --> 00:40:15,800
home from school and he's like,
all weekend until Monday. You don't go

580
00:40:15,880 --> 00:40:20,079
until Monday. And I was like, I can you even picture him talking

581
00:40:20,119 --> 00:40:23,599
to you like that? I didn't. I didn't exactly like that. But

582
00:40:23,760 --> 00:40:28,840
he came in and he's like,
elbs, you gotta get it done.

583
00:40:29,079 --> 00:40:34,519
He's like you. I don't know
what he said, but he basically was

584
00:40:34,599 --> 00:40:37,719
just like it needs to get done. Like yeah, but that's you know,

585
00:40:37,800 --> 00:40:43,599
our job. Yeah. No,
And like I understood, like from

586
00:40:43,599 --> 00:40:46,719
my perspective as a teenager who I
had work and other plans. I mean,

587
00:40:46,760 --> 00:40:50,960
I went to work obviously, but
I had other plans. I was

588
00:40:51,000 --> 00:40:54,400
like, oh my god, like
seriously, like it's not. But then

589
00:40:54,480 --> 00:40:58,039
she was like, no, I'm
good. I got my essays done and

590
00:40:58,079 --> 00:41:00,119
you read them to me and I
was like wait what what? Yeah?

591
00:41:00,519 --> 00:41:05,199
And they were not good the first
draft of like she was like, I

592
00:41:05,199 --> 00:41:07,840
wrote half of this one and I
wrote this one's done and I was like,

593
00:41:07,920 --> 00:41:10,159
no, it's not. Yeah,
But then I sat with her in

594
00:41:10,199 --> 00:41:15,039
her room. Yeah. We sat
there for like hours and we like rewriting

595
00:41:15,039 --> 00:41:19,519
them and she got them done and
they were amazing. Okay, so we

596
00:41:19,599 --> 00:41:22,559
go through all this, we have
these power struggles. She does all this

597
00:41:22,639 --> 00:41:29,599
work, she's taken all these classes, and then rejections breaks. It gives

598
00:41:29,599 --> 00:41:31,599
me a stomach ache. Yeh,
it breaks my heart. It was horrible

599
00:41:31,679 --> 00:41:37,920
because I don't understand it either.
Honestly, it really sucked because, as

600
00:41:37,000 --> 00:41:40,960
I said before, a lot of
people weren't talking about college applications, but

601
00:41:42,239 --> 00:41:45,960
oh my god, were people talking
about where they got in. Like I

602
00:41:46,000 --> 00:41:52,880
went to school and I remember my
first horrible disappointment. It kind of like

603
00:41:53,079 --> 00:41:58,440
just built up. So the first
school I got waitlisted at University of Washington,

604
00:41:58,679 --> 00:42:00,719
and that kind of gave me some
help because I was like, well,

605
00:42:00,800 --> 00:42:02,440
this guy who, by the way, spoiler alert ended won't to Yale

606
00:42:02,679 --> 00:42:07,480
at my school got rejected from Washington, and I was like, if I

607
00:42:07,480 --> 00:42:10,880
can go a way listed, it's
all good. Like it's probably not gonna

608
00:42:10,880 --> 00:42:14,239
be It's probably not gonna be that
bad. Does it happen all on like

609
00:42:14,280 --> 00:42:19,440
on a Sunday night where everybody all
the schools coming at different times, right,

610
00:42:19,719 --> 00:42:22,559
So University of Washington came in first, or Oregon came in first.

611
00:42:22,599 --> 00:42:25,519
I got into the Honors College at
University of Oregon, and I was like,

612
00:42:25,519 --> 00:42:30,280
whoa, Like, yeah, got
into school. That was exciting,

613
00:42:30,280 --> 00:42:35,639
and then you got into like cal
State. She turned into an application for

614
00:42:35,719 --> 00:42:39,199
cal State, so not mama,
cal State, NOMA and like got accepted

615
00:42:39,239 --> 00:42:43,079
like the next day or literally literally
two days later. They were like,

616
00:42:43,119 --> 00:42:45,760
wow, you're a seat. What
is it seahawk or I don't know what

617
00:42:45,760 --> 00:42:51,079
it is. They were like literally
here, you don't like trees, Oh,

618
00:42:51,119 --> 00:42:55,519
I'll get into that, but I
uh so you started getting Washington.

619
00:42:55,880 --> 00:43:00,760
Washington wait listed me. And then
the first you see that came out was

620
00:43:00,880 --> 00:43:06,559
UC Davis. And UC Davis is
a good school, but if you go

621
00:43:06,639 --> 00:43:12,199
to a competitive high school, UC
Davis is like the worst you see to

622
00:43:12,199 --> 00:43:16,440
get into. Like like people were
making like tier lists of ucs and they

623
00:43:16,440 --> 00:43:21,119
were like, okay, Berkeley and
UCLA are at the top, and then

624
00:43:21,199 --> 00:43:29,119
it's like Irvine, and then it's
like San Diego and then Santa Barbara and

625
00:43:29,159 --> 00:43:36,719
then Santa Cruz and oh, then
Davis, then Santa Cruz, then Riversidemer

626
00:43:36,800 --> 00:43:44,440
said, and so I got rejected
from Davis and everyone and their moms were

627
00:43:44,519 --> 00:43:47,280
posting, whoo, I'm an Aggie, Like I got into UC Davis and

628
00:43:47,360 --> 00:43:52,000
like some people from my school,
not any of my friends obviously, but

629
00:43:52,079 --> 00:43:57,679
like there were some people from my
school that took like two aps one ap

630
00:43:58,719 --> 00:44:01,920
got fine raids, but just applied
to a stupid major and got in.

631
00:44:02,480 --> 00:44:07,000
And I was like, oh my
god, dude, I busted my ass

632
00:44:07,639 --> 00:44:09,920
in high school and I just got
rejected from Davis. One of her friends

633
00:44:09,960 --> 00:44:15,000
got waitlisted, who obviously we won't
mention any names, but one of her

634
00:44:15,039 --> 00:44:21,960
friends, who really was not a
try hard great and yeah but a very

635
00:44:22,719 --> 00:44:28,199
not a popular major got waitlisted.
Was like what? And the problem was

636
00:44:29,159 --> 00:44:32,639
I was trying so hard to like
stay hopeful, but the second I got

637
00:44:32,679 --> 00:44:36,440
rejected from Davis, I was like, dude, if that's like one of

638
00:44:36,480 --> 00:44:40,280
the bottom tier schools in the UCCI
applied to which no offense. If anybody

639
00:44:40,280 --> 00:44:44,039
went to Davis, I think it's
a good school. I wasn't very excited

640
00:44:44,039 --> 00:44:45,679
to get into Davis, but I
was just like with the environment that I

641
00:44:45,760 --> 00:44:52,639
was in and all these people like
spoiler alert people in my class, in

642
00:44:52,679 --> 00:44:59,280
my economics class, multiple people got
into Ivy League schools, Like the kid

643
00:44:59,400 --> 00:45:04,320
that I sat across from that is
my friend got into Harvard. Two kids

644
00:45:04,320 --> 00:45:07,960
in my class got into Brown.
Were these AP kids? Yea, these

645
00:45:07,000 --> 00:45:10,199
were AP kids, but I'm saying
I was surrounded by them, like I

646
00:45:10,239 --> 00:45:15,880
was quote unquote one of them the
right and then here I am. Every

647
00:45:15,880 --> 00:45:20,239
single person in my class was like, congrats if you guys got into Davis

648
00:45:20,280 --> 00:45:22,360
and I was like, god,
I got rejected, and then tell me

649
00:45:22,679 --> 00:45:29,639
And then I remember the worst day
is UCLA, Irvine, and San Diego

650
00:45:29,760 --> 00:45:31,639
all came out on the same day
at the same time, and I was

651
00:45:31,679 --> 00:45:35,199
like, well, you know what, it's fine because I don't really want

652
00:45:35,199 --> 00:45:37,480
to go to any of those schools. I did want to go to UCLA,

653
00:45:37,719 --> 00:45:40,519
but I wasn't aiming for UCLA,
so I kind of I was like,

654
00:45:40,559 --> 00:45:43,840
well, I don't really want to
go to San Diego, I don't

655
00:45:43,840 --> 00:45:46,440
really want to go to Irvine,
and I am not expecting anything from UCLA,

656
00:45:46,840 --> 00:45:51,000
so I'm going to be fine if
I get rejected. But of course,

657
00:45:51,039 --> 00:45:52,360
in my head I was still like, well maybe if I get unto

658
00:45:52,400 --> 00:45:57,360
San Diego, like or fine,
that'll be great. I opened them all

659
00:45:57,440 --> 00:46:01,079
within five minutes, three straight rejection, and I was telling myself, I

660
00:46:01,119 --> 00:46:04,360
was like, it's fine. And
then I started crying and I was like,

661
00:46:04,440 --> 00:46:07,719
god, like, it really sucks, even though I wasn't aiming for

662
00:46:07,760 --> 00:46:14,320
any of these schools, Like it
sucks, it's terrible. And then Santa

663
00:46:14,320 --> 00:46:17,320
Cruz came out. I did get
into Santa Cruz, but I really did

664
00:46:17,320 --> 00:46:20,840
not want to go to Santa Cruz, like from the get go. I

665
00:46:20,840 --> 00:46:23,039
I'm gonna be honest, I'm not
really sure why I applied because I never

666
00:46:23,159 --> 00:46:27,280
was excited about that school right.
Never. I was never like, oh,

667
00:46:27,320 --> 00:46:30,760
if I get into Santa Cruz,
I'm going to Santa Cruz like was

668
00:46:30,840 --> 00:46:35,440
never. So a lot of people
that listened to our podcast were you know,

669
00:46:35,519 --> 00:46:37,840
they think they know better, and
they were just like, why would

670
00:46:37,920 --> 00:46:39,760
she not like Santa Cruz. That's
a great school, Like she has a

671
00:46:39,800 --> 00:46:44,199
great option there. So but you
have your own mind, yes, like

672
00:46:44,519 --> 00:46:46,320
please tell people. Of course,
me as your mom, am I gonna

673
00:46:46,360 --> 00:46:49,679
be like, nope, You're going
to Santa Cruz. Like, no,

674
00:46:49,840 --> 00:46:52,559
you're eighteen years old, but you
can decide where you want to go to

675
00:46:52,679 --> 00:46:58,079
school. So my outlook on Santa
Cruz was not me being like, oh,

676
00:46:58,119 --> 00:47:00,400
it's not as academically known as the
other schools. I don't care.

677
00:47:00,840 --> 00:47:06,000
I do not care, Like that's
fine. It's a UC, it's automatically

678
00:47:06,039 --> 00:47:07,239
a good school. Yeah, I
got into a UC. That was great.

679
00:47:07,880 --> 00:47:10,960
It's just the campus and just like
all that type of stuff. Like

680
00:47:12,039 --> 00:47:15,480
I really had my heart set on
going to a school in like a Baker

681
00:47:15,599 --> 00:47:19,239
city with like lots of stuff to
do. Like I love living in La

682
00:47:19,679 --> 00:47:25,239
I love it because there is always
stuff to do, there's always people here.

683
00:47:25,840 --> 00:47:30,039
I'm like surrounded by a lot of
people. It's my love for being

684
00:47:30,039 --> 00:47:34,119
around people. Like it started like
me wanting to go to a big high

685
00:47:34,159 --> 00:47:37,639
school, right, Like I was
like, I do not care if it's

686
00:47:37,760 --> 00:47:38,800
scary, if it's a big change, I want to go to a big

687
00:47:38,880 --> 00:47:42,920
high school. And it was the
same. I was like, I really

688
00:47:42,920 --> 00:47:49,559
want to go to a big college
and I love going to camp, but

689
00:47:49,880 --> 00:47:54,559
I like my nature in small doses. Like I was like, okay,

690
00:47:54,599 --> 00:47:58,880
you know what, Like I'll give
I'll give the campus a shot. I

691
00:47:58,920 --> 00:48:01,159
get to the campus are like I
get there and they're like, yeah,

692
00:48:01,159 --> 00:48:05,039
so this is like our main like
quad, like our big hangout area.

693
00:48:05,679 --> 00:48:08,719
It's like called the Quarry. It
was like a tiny like little area with

694
00:48:08,760 --> 00:48:15,079
like a shop and like some like
a bathroom. Oh. And I was

695
00:48:15,119 --> 00:48:20,079
like, oh my god, this
is like your biggest like I don't want

696
00:48:20,079 --> 00:48:22,440
to say hang out spot, but
like this is like their central area where

697
00:48:22,440 --> 00:48:24,840
if you go to UCLA, they
have like six of those and they're like

698
00:48:25,039 --> 00:48:30,400
giant right quads with all the buildings. And I was like, that's my

699
00:48:30,480 --> 00:48:32,760
type of campus. And like even
like Santa Barbara, I was like big

700
00:48:32,840 --> 00:48:37,280
campus, lots of places. Like
everywhere I went at Santa Cruz was just

701
00:48:37,320 --> 00:48:39,880
trees. It was just like in
a forest. And I was like,

702
00:48:39,920 --> 00:48:43,400
oh my god, I'm what about
like the speech they gave you at the

703
00:48:43,519 --> 00:48:47,760
beginning, They were just like yeah, so like we love it here,

704
00:48:47,800 --> 00:48:52,960
like we really try to preserve our
nature here, like we don't have we

705
00:48:52,039 --> 00:48:55,239
don't like to have a lot of
buildings because we like to have the trees

706
00:48:55,280 --> 00:49:00,960
and the banana slugs slung around.
And I was like, oh yeah,

707
00:49:01,079 --> 00:49:04,880
no. Like from the get go, I was like this is not my

708
00:49:04,920 --> 00:49:07,880
type of school. I was like, this is And if you want to

709
00:49:07,920 --> 00:49:10,320
go to a beautiful campus in the
redwoods, go to Santa Cruz. It

710
00:49:10,440 --> 00:49:16,320
was gorgeous objectively like, but in
my head, I was like, wow,

711
00:49:16,559 --> 00:49:21,440
am I gonna just be depressed living
here. I was, it is

712
00:49:21,480 --> 00:49:23,000
not my jam. It felt like
I was at like a super preppy,

713
00:49:23,199 --> 00:49:29,000
like expensive Malibu private school. Like
like I was walking around and I was

714
00:49:29,079 --> 00:49:34,320
like, wow, Like it wasn't
even the people like there. I saw

715
00:49:34,360 --> 00:49:37,239
a lot of like people there that
were like seem cool, but I was

716
00:49:37,320 --> 00:49:42,000
just like, there's not a lot
of people in general. Walking around,

717
00:49:42,039 --> 00:49:46,119
I saw like probably ten people.
And I know that part of it was

718
00:49:46,159 --> 00:49:50,719
because people were in classes, but
even when classes were like going through,

719
00:49:50,760 --> 00:49:52,599
I was like, oh my god, like where is everybody? Like even

720
00:49:52,639 --> 00:49:57,599
when I was there were classes,
like walking around UCLA, walking around Santa

721
00:49:57,639 --> 00:50:00,800
Barbara, walking around San Diego,
there were tons of people like everywhere at

722
00:50:00,840 --> 00:50:04,840
Santa Cruz there was like nobody,
and I was like, it just feels

723
00:50:04,960 --> 00:50:07,440
too quiet for me. And like
my tour guide was funny, but he

724
00:50:07,480 --> 00:50:09,880
was like, yeah, you know, it gets really foggy at night,

725
00:50:10,000 --> 00:50:16,159
kind of reminds you of the Twilight. And he was like, yeah,

726
00:50:16,159 --> 00:50:21,239
I've gotten chased by a turkey before, and I was like, hello,

727
00:50:21,840 --> 00:50:24,440
like a turkey. He's like,
yeah, you know, it's kind of

728
00:50:24,480 --> 00:50:30,599
scary, and I was like,
I don't think if I went to any

729
00:50:30,639 --> 00:50:34,840
of the other indies I wanted to
get into, there would even be a

730
00:50:34,880 --> 00:50:37,639
possibility of there being a turkey on
the campus. Maybe a homeless person,

731
00:50:38,480 --> 00:50:44,079
but not a turkey. I would
rather be chased by a homeless person than

732
00:50:44,119 --> 00:50:47,039
a turkey. Yeah, and it
like again, like it's a great school,

733
00:50:47,840 --> 00:50:51,360
of course, and like there were
a lot of people that didn't get

734
00:50:51,400 --> 00:50:52,800
into Santa Cruz. I would have
loved to go to Santa Cruz. And

735
00:50:52,840 --> 00:50:55,079
I was like, dang, I
wish I could give you my spot because

736
00:50:55,079 --> 00:50:58,719
it is not my type of school. Yeah. But then I got I

737
00:50:58,719 --> 00:51:01,000
got wait listed from Santa bar and
I was like, oh my god.

738
00:51:01,360 --> 00:51:05,000
Like I took that as a celebration. I was like, it's not over.

739
00:51:05,760 --> 00:51:08,679
And then I got rejected from from
from that. So how did you

740
00:51:09,119 --> 00:51:14,239
Because there was so much disappointment and
there's such I don't know if a lot

741
00:51:14,239 --> 00:51:19,519
of people understand the build up and
the power struggles and then getting all this

742
00:51:19,679 --> 00:51:22,840
done and the pure focus on college
then to have all of this rejection.

743
00:51:23,480 --> 00:51:28,639
And I feel like at the time
you couldn't see I couldn't see it either,

744
00:51:29,119 --> 00:51:31,199
that all of the work that you
had done did actually end up paying

745
00:51:31,239 --> 00:51:34,960
off. But at the time,
how did you, like, how did

746
00:51:34,960 --> 00:51:40,239
you deal with all that disappointment?
I mean it was it was definitely really

747
00:51:40,360 --> 00:51:45,280
difficult, Like it felt very overpowering
at first, and like there was a

748
00:51:45,280 --> 00:51:50,599
couple times where I was like,
wow, like this is never going to

749
00:51:50,639 --> 00:51:52,639
get better, Like this is the
end of the world, Like I got

750
00:51:52,679 --> 00:51:58,880
rejected from these colleges. Now what
like because originally in my head, community

751
00:51:58,920 --> 00:52:01,679
college for me was not even on
the table, right Like I was like,

752
00:52:01,920 --> 00:52:06,480
I'm gonna go to college, like
I've been saying that for years.

753
00:52:06,519 --> 00:52:07,920
I was like, I'm so excited, I'm gonna go to a four year

754
00:52:07,960 --> 00:52:14,960
college, Like that was my plan. And I hadn't even really like dabbled

755
00:52:15,000 --> 00:52:19,519
with the idea of like, hey, like I can go to community college

756
00:52:19,519 --> 00:52:22,519
for a year or two and then
transfer somewhere and save money and stay at

757
00:52:22,559 --> 00:52:29,079
my job, which I love.
But I definitely think that Like the way

758
00:52:29,119 --> 00:52:35,440
I process stuff is just like by
talking about it, like with my unfortunate,

759
00:52:35,519 --> 00:52:40,280
my unfortunate circumstance of recent I got
broken up with that's okay, though

760
00:52:42,400 --> 00:52:44,679
we won't we won't, we won't
discuss that right now, Okay, But

761
00:52:45,320 --> 00:52:52,119
I will say that. Just like
in general dealing with like super super heavy

762
00:52:52,599 --> 00:52:59,480
emotions like anxiety or like sadness,
the way I processes wow English, the

763
00:52:59,480 --> 00:53:02,639
way I assess it is just like
by talking about it, like I won't

764
00:53:02,639 --> 00:53:06,039
shut up about it until people are
like, Okay, we've heard enough.

765
00:53:06,320 --> 00:53:10,280
Like like I when I got rejected
from all these schools, I was going

766
00:53:10,320 --> 00:53:14,880
to work, Like in the process
of all this, I still had I

767
00:53:14,960 --> 00:53:17,480
still had my responsibility. I could
not just be sad about not getting into

768
00:53:17,519 --> 00:53:22,000
college and skip out the last thing. Like I was like, all right,

769
00:53:22,760 --> 00:53:25,519
gott to pull myself out of this
and go to my job. And

770
00:53:25,719 --> 00:53:31,360
it was such like a blessing in
disguise because I would go and all my

771
00:53:31,440 --> 00:53:37,119
coworkers were like going to community college, Like almost all of my co workers

772
00:53:37,199 --> 00:53:40,960
are either going to see Sun going
to community college. And they were like,

773
00:53:42,159 --> 00:53:45,960
girl, it is the best route. Like I love it. We

774
00:53:45,960 --> 00:53:47,920
get to stay at our job,
and like I have a lot of friends

775
00:53:47,920 --> 00:53:51,320
at work, and so just talking
about it and then being like hey,

776
00:53:51,360 --> 00:53:55,800
like I got rejected from all these
schools too, and like even some of

777
00:53:55,800 --> 00:54:00,000
my co workers like they were just
settling for schools that they were like kind

778
00:54:00,039 --> 00:54:04,360
of excited about well, like I
would have rather gone gone into a school

779
00:54:04,360 --> 00:54:07,960
that they didn't get into, and
I was like, okay, Like definitely

780
00:54:07,000 --> 00:54:12,599
just making myself feel a little bit
less alone in a situation it's feeling alone

781
00:54:12,639 --> 00:54:15,159
and feeling like you're the only one
even when you know you're not, is

782
00:54:15,199 --> 00:54:20,440
like the worst feeling, especially when
all of my friends were like all of

783
00:54:20,480 --> 00:54:22,360
my friends got into at least like
one of those schools or most of them.

784
00:54:22,880 --> 00:54:27,599
I'll be that's so hard and so
it was definitely like disappointing, but

785
00:54:27,800 --> 00:54:31,280
just like talking to other people that
are like, yo, like you're good.

786
00:54:31,039 --> 00:54:35,639
I didn't get into these schools either. I'm going here, which is

787
00:54:35,639 --> 00:54:38,280
like fine, but I would have
rather not gone here, or the situation

788
00:54:38,320 --> 00:54:40,760
for most of them. Yeah,
I went to community college for two years.

789
00:54:40,800 --> 00:54:44,199
I'm in my second year. I
went to community college for one year,

790
00:54:45,000 --> 00:54:47,119
and now I'm going to a school
that I love. Like right,

791
00:54:47,400 --> 00:54:52,599
one of my co workers did community
college for one or two years, went

792
00:54:52,679 --> 00:54:57,000
to UCLA, just graduated from UCLA
amazing, and so I'm like I could

793
00:54:57,039 --> 00:55:00,480
eat that too, and it's not
going to be that bad. So definitely

794
00:55:00,519 --> 00:55:05,440
like just talking about it to people
is like the best, yeah, because

795
00:55:05,440 --> 00:55:08,119
then it's less scary. Yeah.
Yeah. And I think your first thing

796
00:55:08,320 --> 00:55:13,800
was just like the reason you couldn't
wrap your head around it was because you

797
00:55:13,880 --> 00:55:16,920
thought, well, if I go
to because so there's a program that she's

798
00:55:17,000 --> 00:55:21,039
doing. Well, it's not a
special program, but the way, because

799
00:55:21,039 --> 00:55:23,880
of all her aps, she only
has to do community college for one years

800
00:55:24,000 --> 00:55:28,639
and she can literally reapply same time
as your kids are applying, right,

801
00:55:28,760 --> 00:55:30,559
although a little later for transfer students, right, it's a little bit later.

802
00:55:30,599 --> 00:55:34,599
And I think it's a little bit
less of a process because when you're

803
00:55:34,639 --> 00:55:40,079
transferring, you kind of focus on
a more select group of schools. Like

804
00:55:40,079 --> 00:55:43,559
when you're originally applying, you're like, I'm going to apply here and here

805
00:55:43,599 --> 00:55:45,519
and here and here and here,
Whereas when you're transferring, like you kind

806
00:55:45,519 --> 00:55:50,960
of got to focus on like a
couple of schools that you really want to

807
00:55:50,960 --> 00:55:53,199
apply to. Obviously you can apply
to other schools, but you kind of

808
00:55:53,199 --> 00:55:58,559
got to like know which tool you're
aiming for. So like, I'm doing

809
00:55:58,599 --> 00:56:01,920
that there's an honors program, I'm
within this program that I'm doing that kind

810
00:56:01,920 --> 00:56:08,480
of gives you preferred admission. I
want to say to UCLA, and so

811
00:56:08,519 --> 00:56:14,000
I'm taking all these honors classes so
that I can aim for UCLA. But

812
00:56:14,039 --> 00:56:17,000
then I'm also doing this thing called
the TAG program, which is transferre Admission

813
00:56:17,039 --> 00:56:23,920
guarantee where if I take a certain
number of classes and get a grade I

814
00:56:23,920 --> 00:56:30,480
think it's like three point zero,
I want to say four, then I

815
00:56:30,519 --> 00:56:34,679
get guaranteed admission to one of the
UC's, including Santa Barbara, which is

816
00:56:34,679 --> 00:56:37,440
what I'm talking. Wow, So
I'm doing that all in one year.

817
00:56:37,960 --> 00:56:42,639
That's amazing. At first, she
was like, the problem was we were

818
00:56:42,679 --> 00:56:45,519
talking to some other kids that had
done it that were like, you have

819
00:56:45,559 --> 00:56:47,559
to take all these classes and you
should probably take three over the summer.

820
00:56:47,719 --> 00:56:51,239
And she was like, oh no, I just went through all this.

821
00:56:51,719 --> 00:56:53,840
I just don't want to. I
can't catch a break, like I need

822
00:56:53,880 --> 00:56:58,800
a break. But it ended up
working out. I only had to take

823
00:56:59,039 --> 00:57:01,760
one summer class, which was super
light work. I just finished it yesterday.

824
00:57:01,800 --> 00:57:06,880
It was a music appreciation class.
Literally sat down like once a week

825
00:57:07,239 --> 00:57:10,880
for like two hours, would get
done everything I needed to get done for

826
00:57:10,880 --> 00:57:14,840
the week, would not have to
worry about it until the next weekend.

827
00:57:15,119 --> 00:57:19,360
Nice like it was great. It
was not at all difficult. And now

828
00:57:19,840 --> 00:57:22,559
the awesome thing is that I am
only going to school in person twice a

829
00:57:22,599 --> 00:57:25,920
week, and the other three days
of the week I can hang out,

830
00:57:27,039 --> 00:57:30,760
work on my online classes, go
to my job. Money great, Yeah,

831
00:57:30,800 --> 00:57:34,480
it's awesome. Oh my god,
let's take one more quick break.

832
00:57:37,719 --> 00:57:40,840
Okay, we're back. Do you
know I wanted to. I saved a

833
00:57:40,840 --> 00:57:45,320
couple of posts. It's going to
be the best part from paying for college.

834
00:57:45,360 --> 00:57:47,719
It's going to be the best part. So paying for college one O.

835
00:57:47,840 --> 00:57:52,480
One is this website that we Facebook
page or something. Yeah, it's

836
00:57:52,480 --> 00:57:57,239
a Facebook page. Sorry not as
it's a Facebook page that I have made

837
00:57:57,320 --> 00:58:00,000
fun of in here a lot.
But I just picked a couple just to

838
00:58:00,079 --> 00:58:06,199
show you how freaking insane some of
these parents are. And I wanted LB

839
00:58:06,360 --> 00:58:10,079
to weigh in on this. Okay, hold on paying for Crown hater.

840
00:58:10,239 --> 00:58:15,599
This is my favorite part. Okay, there's one. Okay, this is

841
00:58:15,639 --> 00:58:22,000
from somebody who's anonymous, which I
think. My daughter has a fifteen sixty

842
00:58:22,280 --> 00:58:29,719
s at eight hundred math and three
point nine nine unwaited GPA, several aps,

843
00:58:29,840 --> 00:58:34,159
all fives, no sports, but
a lot of extracurricular like science,

844
00:58:34,159 --> 00:58:38,760
olympiad, captain, research internships,
tons of volunteering, et cetera. Interested

845
00:58:38,800 --> 00:58:45,559
in economics and wants a school Northeast. She's leaning towards Brown for early decision,

846
00:58:45,119 --> 00:58:49,400
but I'm not sure if that's the
best she can do. Any thoughts

847
00:58:49,400 --> 00:58:54,760
on Brown versus UPEN or other top
schools, Yeah, just unsure if brown

848
00:58:55,000 --> 00:58:59,440
ed is the way to go.
By the way, fees not a concern,

849
00:58:59,599 --> 00:59:04,639
thank you. I just want to
throw that like, I feel like

850
00:59:05,400 --> 00:59:07,920
they just post on there to brag
about their kids, like they don't actually

851
00:59:07,960 --> 00:59:13,119
care. They don't actually they don't
actually care, like, oh there's brown

852
00:59:13,159 --> 00:59:15,800
or you pin better. They just
want everybody to be like, my kid

853
00:59:15,119 --> 00:59:17,840
is better than yours. Oh yeah, that's all that matters. How about

854
00:59:17,840 --> 00:59:23,320
this one? This is another anonymous
person kid with four point four gpa,

855
00:59:23,440 --> 00:59:30,920
fifteen hundred SATs raised forty thousand dollars
for cancer for unweighted right right right,

856
00:59:31,199 --> 00:59:34,679
I mean listen, this is how
it starts. It's not even like,

857
00:59:34,679 --> 00:59:37,239
hey, I have a question about
this, here's some background. It's just

858
00:59:37,280 --> 00:59:42,519
this is just how she goes in
out of the coming in hot. Yeah,

859
00:59:42,559 --> 00:59:46,599
my kid has a six point seven
unweighted GPA is not good enough Frivy

860
00:59:46,639 --> 00:59:52,159
leagues raised forty thousand dollars for cancer
with a leadership position and award, did

861
00:59:52,199 --> 00:59:58,440
a research project, has a research
award, capstone diploma. We'll graduate with

862
00:59:58,480 --> 01:00:04,440
fourteen aps, volunteering in sports,
interested in econnor finance. Would applying to

863
01:00:04,480 --> 01:00:08,559
a lot of highly selective schools be
appropriate? Oh, like's not. That's

864
01:00:08,639 --> 01:00:13,840
not a question at that point,
Like you're basically just saying my kid is

865
01:00:13,840 --> 01:00:17,280
applying to all these schools. I
hope everybody can see that. Like,

866
01:00:17,599 --> 01:00:22,719
let's just let everybody know and then
there's a little edit edit just in case

867
01:00:22,119 --> 01:00:25,599
we're fortunate to have been able to
save over the years and can pay in

868
01:00:25,679 --> 01:00:31,559
full if needed. Dude, who
cares? Nobody was asking about your financial

869
01:00:31,599 --> 01:00:37,599
situation. Anybody comment or say anything? These people. I didn't screenshot the

870
01:00:37,599 --> 01:00:40,039
comments on that one, but I
did. I did take some of the

871
01:00:40,079 --> 01:00:45,320
comments on this one. It's even
more fun. Okay, anonymous member,

872
01:00:45,880 --> 01:00:50,599
My children are quite young now,
three and five, so of course you've

873
01:00:50,679 --> 01:00:54,440
joined paying for college one on one. Why are you even looking why are

874
01:00:54,480 --> 01:00:58,039
you looking at this? You know
those kids are going to be growing up

875
01:00:58,079 --> 01:01:02,559
like, oh geez, but they're
not actual light their parents just make them

876
01:01:02,599 --> 01:01:06,199
like, my kid is a piano
prodigy, and they're like, no,

877
01:01:06,280 --> 01:01:08,519
your kid has just been playing the
piano every single day she was two years

878
01:01:08,559 --> 01:01:13,599
old. Well, okay, my
children are quite young now three and five.

879
01:01:13,920 --> 01:01:17,440
We have the opportunity opportunity to live
in my childhood home in an upper

880
01:01:17,519 --> 01:01:22,840
class town in New York with top
rated schools top ten to twenty in the

881
01:01:22,960 --> 01:01:28,559
country. Kids graduated from their regularly
attend Ivy League schools, and the district

882
01:01:28,679 --> 01:01:31,960
is known to well prepare the kids. Again, let me just remind you

883
01:01:32,280 --> 01:01:38,360
her kids are three and she joined
a paying for college Facebook group. Okay,

884
01:01:38,400 --> 01:01:42,519
we currently live in New Jersey and
I'd need to get a new job

885
01:01:42,559 --> 01:01:45,159
if we moved. I'm in education
at the top of the pay scale.

886
01:01:45,400 --> 01:01:51,880
Okay, girl, get it.
It gets worse. Would you move to

887
01:01:51,920 --> 01:01:57,079
a top rated district? What are
implications the implications of attending this prestigious high

888
01:01:57,119 --> 01:02:00,760
school for college. I'd be willing
to bet my three year old is gifted,

889
01:02:01,159 --> 01:02:06,199
and while they're very well equipped to
handle her intelligence, she might not

890
01:02:06,400 --> 01:02:12,119
feel quote special in this district.
My five year old is smart, but

891
01:02:12,199 --> 01:02:15,760
has anxiety and not on the same
level as my three year old Keys Moore

892
01:02:15,800 --> 01:02:20,039
Athletic. Oh, she's like,
yeah, he's actually gonna go to Ivy

893
01:02:20,119 --> 01:02:25,440
League for a sports scholarship. Yeah, you foresee his future. Gotta get

894
01:02:25,480 --> 01:02:32,760
him started. So only one person
and had a comment which was prestigious equals

895
01:02:32,840 --> 01:02:37,880
pretentious. I'm sorry you're worried that
you're now three year old might not feel

896
01:02:37,199 --> 01:02:43,480
special in a high wealth school district. Why should anyone feel special for winning

897
01:02:43,480 --> 01:02:46,639
an IQ lottery, which might not
even be the case. She just maybe

898
01:02:46,760 --> 01:02:52,920
developing certain skills faster than her peers
at this time, I'm sure we all

899
01:02:52,920 --> 01:02:55,039
needed to know that you're at the
top of your pay scale too. Huzzah

900
01:02:55,119 --> 01:02:58,760
and good luck. I was going
to say, how would you know if

901
01:02:58,760 --> 01:03:01,480
you're three year old is gifted?
Like they're not doing math right now,

902
01:03:02,400 --> 01:03:06,440
they're not old enough to be like
like, oh my god. You tell

903
01:03:06,480 --> 01:03:08,639
them like two plus two is four
and they're like they're still They're shitting in

904
01:03:08,639 --> 01:03:14,719
they're diapers, Like, how are
they gifted? I had when I was

905
01:03:14,800 --> 01:03:16,840
three. I don't think I could
like poop in the bathroom alone. I

906
01:03:17,159 --> 01:03:21,199
had got my mom in there.
But Sonny, supposedly I was gifted.

907
01:03:21,280 --> 01:03:25,199
So yeah, they told me I
was, but still I was. I

908
01:03:25,239 --> 01:03:30,760
did not see my GID at three
from so so and one other person wrote,

909
01:03:30,760 --> 01:03:35,280
I'm really hoping this is a joke
or troll or something. At three

910
01:03:35,360 --> 01:03:37,639
and five, you've already decided one
is gifted and the other is athletic.

911
01:03:38,639 --> 01:03:42,679
If this is true, those poor
kids are going to grow up with pressure

912
01:03:42,719 --> 01:03:46,360
to meet goals that you decided for
them before they started kindergarten. I just

913
01:03:46,480 --> 01:03:50,920
can't. So she writes back to
that one, Oh, she does.

914
01:03:51,480 --> 01:03:53,920
I used to assist with gift to
testing, and while my daughter is too

915
01:03:53,960 --> 01:03:58,800
young for formal testing, yes,
there is a strong likelihood that she would

916
01:03:58,880 --> 01:04:02,400
qualify, and I'd want her to
have her needs met. My current public

917
01:04:02,519 --> 01:04:06,559
education system where I work offers next
to nothing. And then she just goes

918
01:04:06,639 --> 01:04:10,800
on and on and on and on
about how where she lives is just not

919
01:04:11,360 --> 01:04:15,599
right good enough. She's like,
my son has Oh, I forgot about

920
01:04:15,639 --> 01:04:18,400
this part. This is why screenshot
this one. She's like, so the

921
01:04:18,519 --> 01:04:23,880
blah blah blah, though new place, Uh, I remember younger students being

922
01:04:23,880 --> 01:04:28,159
bussed to advance level courses and other
buildings so they could learn on anyway.

923
01:04:28,199 --> 01:04:30,159
Blah blah, blah. Then she
writes, my son, this is her

924
01:04:30,199 --> 01:04:36,760
son who's not gifted. Yea,
my son has been stopped while playing sports

925
01:04:36,800 --> 01:04:44,239
by D one sports players. Oh
my shot a lady, I'm going to

926
01:04:44,280 --> 01:04:48,599
book her on our show three year
old guess next week. Yes, yeah,

927
01:04:48,679 --> 01:04:53,199
So Lebron James actually camped to my
kid and was like, hey,

928
01:04:53,400 --> 01:04:58,280
like you have real talent, dude. That's like me saying like Chris Paul

929
01:04:58,360 --> 01:05:00,039
came up to me about Boa and
I'm like it's like, yeah, you're

930
01:05:00,039 --> 01:05:03,760
actually really good at basketball, Like
have you ever thought about like committing to

931
01:05:03,920 --> 01:05:09,280
future? And I'm like, dude, I'm literally six, Like I don't

932
01:05:09,320 --> 01:05:12,360
even know what D one basketball is. I literally play for my wreck team.

933
01:05:12,679 --> 01:05:15,519
Like that's what his kid, my
three year old, my three year

934
01:05:15,519 --> 01:05:18,280
old was actually being recruited for to
just to just go to the straight to

935
01:05:18,320 --> 01:05:23,800
the draft. Yeah right, they're
like just skip college because like your kid

936
01:05:23,920 --> 01:05:26,119
is two gads. Yeah no,
I don't know why she's on here.

937
01:05:26,159 --> 01:05:29,400
She doesn't have to worry about college. Yeah, what is she is?

938
01:05:29,440 --> 01:05:31,840
Going straight to the NBA like there's
no issue, it was no problems.

939
01:05:32,079 --> 01:05:36,880
Yeah, and then she basically goes
on about after after stopped while playing sports

940
01:05:36,880 --> 01:05:40,559
by d when sports players. I
don't know if he will play at all

941
01:05:40,599 --> 01:05:44,519
when he's older, but his academic
and esteem needs are different than my daughters

942
01:05:44,920 --> 01:05:47,000
who's gifted. I mean, this
woman just keeps going on and then people

943
01:05:47,159 --> 01:05:50,599
argue back with her, and she's
just like, I don't understand why I'm

944
01:05:50,639 --> 01:05:57,880
giving. Yeah, So somebody finally
writes to her, playing with play though

945
01:05:58,000 --> 01:06:02,920
right now sticking in his nose,
and somebody goes anonymous because your privilege is

946
01:06:03,000 --> 01:06:06,760
showing and you're whining about it.
You're cheating, You're creating problems where none

947
01:06:06,800 --> 01:06:10,920
exists. Good enough is good enough. Most parents have to live with the

948
01:06:10,960 --> 01:06:14,199
hand life dealt them, and that's
not a dream house in a prestigious,

949
01:06:14,280 --> 01:06:19,719
privileged community. And then she writes, okay, wait, what she's about

950
01:06:19,719 --> 01:06:24,920
to have the best comeback? Well, she's basically she goes, ah,

951
01:06:25,079 --> 01:06:29,559
Okay, I know and understand that
I'm privileged. I'm not whining, not

952
01:06:29,719 --> 01:06:32,119
intended to come across that way,
trying to learn from others and do what's

953
01:06:32,159 --> 01:06:36,679
best for my family in the current
market, and planning ahead anyway, planning

954
01:06:36,719 --> 01:06:41,800
ahead, Yeah, dude, you
are planning way ahead. I would think

955
01:06:41,880 --> 01:06:45,679
planning ahead is like starting high school. You're like, hey, let's join

956
01:06:45,760 --> 01:06:49,960
this club, but you can put
three years old. I gotta join this

957
01:06:50,119 --> 01:06:53,079
group. She's like, yeah,
I just I want to make sure my

958
01:06:53,199 --> 01:06:56,639
three year old goes to like one
of the ivy's. You know, that's

959
01:06:56,679 --> 01:06:59,119
like our goal. So we're just
like we're certain, really you know,

960
01:06:59,400 --> 01:07:03,440
yeah, just in the head start
a horrible groups. I mean she has

961
01:07:03,480 --> 01:07:10,599
two boys right there, boys and
a girl. Girls get the boys insanely

962
01:07:10,639 --> 01:07:15,599
athletic. Yeah, this is this
is gonna be bad. I can already

963
01:07:15,599 --> 01:07:18,400
tell Yeah, well, oldie,
this was really fun, and we want

964
01:07:18,519 --> 01:07:23,519
we were gonna see if maybe we
could get you to stay for our Patreon

965
01:07:23,679 --> 01:07:27,840
episode and maybe talk about the other
big thing that happened in your life if

966
01:07:27,880 --> 01:07:31,480
you want im down. Yay,
Oh oh my god, I'm so excited.

967
01:07:31,800 --> 01:07:34,400
All right, all right, everybody, Well, thank you so much

968
01:07:34,559 --> 01:07:39,360
ELB for being so open and say, I am so proud of you.

969
01:07:39,519 --> 01:07:42,320
You're not even my daughter, and
you just make you give me chills.

970
01:07:42,440 --> 01:07:45,559
You have You're just intelligent, You're
just a beautiful soul, and you're gonna

971
01:07:45,639 --> 01:07:50,920
do phenomenal. Don't worry. This
is your You're gonna do great. I

972
01:07:51,039 --> 01:07:55,440
know, I have a I'm a
gypsy, I have a crystal ball.

973
01:07:56,039 --> 01:07:59,239
You're gonna be awesome, Albie,
thank you so much for Thank you of

974
01:07:59,320 --> 01:08:01,920
course. All right, love you, Love you guys. Oh well we

975
01:08:02,039 --> 01:08:04,800
have to go backwards. So if
you didn't, if you're not on Patreon,

976
01:08:04,920 --> 01:08:09,760
go join Patreon. Listen to yesterday's
Patreon Ye all right, love you

977
01:08:09,800 --> 01:08:15,560
guys. Bye, it's good letting
go.