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I had a rough time as a
kid. I suffered from both hem and

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geodmas and spotty hair loss, two
conditions that would go away the closer I

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got to my teenage years. But
for those first few years, I was

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a social prior. I looked strange, which was enough to draw unwanted attention.

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Some kids thought I had a kind
of mange what others just didn't like

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to look at me. My parents
didn't make it easier for me, forcing

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me to bring various creams that I
had to apply during school hours. I

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ended up trying to make my own
fun. I made my own friends in

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my head, and I played a
lot of board games on my own.

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My parents were going through a divorce
and both swore off having any more children,

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so I ended up as an only
child. Most of my made up

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friends were just the plaything. I
could tell it was all just for fun

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and that they weren't real. I
didn't see them or hear them. I

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made up little stories in my head, trying to imagine what they would do

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if they were there. I could
get really into it. I had this

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one imaginary friend who always tried to
cheat in games, so when I played

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with him at the table. I'd
move the pieces in a way he would

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and thus cheat. Another friend was
obsessed with lemonade, so I always brought

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an extra glass for him. When
I was seven years old, there was

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a new friend. This one was
different. I could really see him.

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I knew he was just as fake
as the rest of them, as he

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only appeared when I was alone and
playing. But he was strange. I

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hadn't imagined him for a specific purpose. I didn't come up with a name

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for him. I don't know anything
about him. Even if I would pretend

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not to know the cheetah and the
lemonade enthusiast to try of conversation, this

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one was a genuine mystery. He
was scary. He looked like a person,

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but sort of stretched at least seven
feet tall, pale, flaking gray

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skin. He was super thin and
had this sort of hanging face, like

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his skin was slouching. It reminded
me of a wet towel hanging off a

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rack. And his eyes, well, they were empty. There was nothing

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there. He was super quiet and
rarely moved. I'd usually forget he was

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even there unless he made his little
sound, a sort of teeth chatter.

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It was like a tick, sometimes
a single click. Other times he'd just

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stand there, chattering excitedly, clack
clack clack. At first, I just

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asked him to go away. He
didn't talk, and he didn't answer my

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questions. No matter what I played, he refused to participate or even acknowledge

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me. He just wanted to be
there. Most of the time, he

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was a nuisance. He'd scare me. I'd wake up to that noise of

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chattering teeth at night, or he
did click right next to my ear when

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I played my board games. Over
time, it went from scary to frustrating.

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He was just being a bother.
But there was a time in middle

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school that changed the way I viewed
him. There was a new kid in

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school. It was an infamous bully, let's call him Ian. He'd been

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moved from another school where it had
been a menace. No one really knew

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what to do with him, so
they just sort of moved him around,

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and now it was our turn to
deal with him, and of course I

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was a clear target. Ian started
calling me scabs, and it kind of

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caught on. The sick dog of
the class now had a name that others

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clung to, and it wasn't a
good one, but it didn't end there.

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One day after school, he took
things too far, spurred on my

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cheers and laughter from my classmates.
I was beaten, bloody. While I

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was beaten, the others went inside
to get some scissors. They were gonna

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cut my mangy hair. When it
was just me and Ian, I heard

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that teeth chattering noise again. I
could see the strange figure in the background.

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My first thought was that he was
there to mock me too, but

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to my surprise, it had other
plans. It leaned in, unhinged its

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massive jaw, and took a bite
out of Ian's ear, tearing it in

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half. There was instant pandemonium.
Ian turned around, not looking at me,

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but straight at his assailant. He
could see him too, blood and

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screams panic. Ian scrambled like a
scared dog, dripping over his own legs

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to get away. The others came
running back to but as they saw what

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had happened, they'd all had a
collective gasp. Seeing them step back was

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empowering. They turned and ran,
screaming and pointing. They hadn't seen what

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Ian and I had. They thought
I'd done it. He took it.

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He took it into here. The
kids ran away. They ran like their

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heads were on fire. I sat
there for a moment, my body pulsing

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with bruises and shock. The strange
creature approached me. His teeth had stopped

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chattering, replaced with chewing, slowly
savoring a meal. For all the hell

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it had given me, this was
grotesque. My adrenaline had spiked, and

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I just said the first thing that
came to mind. Maybe he didn't really

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want to hurt me, Maybe it
was there for some other reason. Either

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way, I said what I said. You're just a big softy, aren't

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you. I sniffled, You're a
big softy. Big softy. It wheezed

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back. He was less of a
voice and more of a throbbing wind.

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His lips didn't move, Big softy, it continued, Um, yeah you

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are. I nodded, that's you. It leaned in close, inspecting me.

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He didn't breathe name, It hissed
free. I stared into those hollow

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sockets, waiting for something to happen, a smile, a breath, anything,

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but no. I blinked, and
big softy it was no longer there.

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Sometimes violence solves things. While that
brawl didn't, make me popular.

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It stopped kids from teasing me.
Classmates began using my regular name again.

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Sure there was still whispers and the
occasional side eye, but that was still

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an immense improvement. No one spoke
about that fight though. I didn't want

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to get in trouble for the ear, and he didn't want to get in

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trouble for bullying me, so he
kept it to ourselves and never spoke of

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it again. He and seemed fine
with sitting quietly and not talking to any

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one about it. He'd changed,
and Big Softy well, he sort of

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disappeared. It's like he'd done his
job and went on his merry way.

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For a couple of years that followed, I thought he just might have been

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a figment of my imagination. Maybe
I was the one who really bitty and

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and this whole thing was just a
way to cope with that trauma. It

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had to be something of the sort. Imaginary friends don't affect the real world.

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Then again, giving him a name, even a nickname, seemed to

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have encouraged him was something worse.
Most of my afflictions cleared up in high

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school and have found a solid group
of like minded youths over time. All

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little dream friends faded from memory.
The one who cheated, the one who

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loved lemonade, a hundred others who
I can't even remember, the way they

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looked, the way they sounded,
the names and quirks. They all went

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away. A Big Softy stayed at
my mind realer than any of them.

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The hollow eyes, the chattering teeth. It was strange how the most horrifying

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of all my imaginary friends turned out
to be the one who stuck around the

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longest. But time passed. High
school turned to college, college turned to

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work, and by the time I
was twenty seven I had a pretty cozy

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life going. But even then,
despite not having seen or heard that childhood

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friend of mine, Big Softy still
drifted in my dreams every now and then.

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I wish I could end this story
here. It'd just be a strange

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anecdote about something that happened to me
as a kid. Sadly that's not the

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case. What began as an unusual
charter of curiosity turned into a waking nightmare.

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Back in twenty nineteen, and I
was in a pretty good place.

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I was six months into a promotion
that added a flat fifteen percent of my

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salary, and I was finally getting
back into dating after a messy break up

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a couple of months earlier. Nothing
serious, but it felt good to shake

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off the cobwebs. I was coming
home from a long day of overtime and

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had to stop for gas, nothing
I hadn't done a hundred times before.

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I got myself a slim gym and
told the long haired man behind the counter

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that I wanted thirty on pumpt two. I handed over my card and checked

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my phone for a moment, clack
teeth turning around nothing. I could feel

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my pulse spiking for no apparent reason. I became hyper aware of my surroundings.

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You have had light and the faint
whiff of gasoline. That one noise

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brought me straight back to middle school. It sent this cold spike straight into

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my head, as if I could
picture that hollowed out face in front of

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me. I snapped out of it
with a beat from the cash register.

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I thanked the cashier and headed for
the door. Just before I left,

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I turned back around to them,
Excuse me, but did you hear something

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strange just now? No, can't
say I did, Sorry, did you

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click your tongue or something? Can't
say I did, sir, I nodded,

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Of course they didn't. The same
sensation came back to me on four

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different occasions, once when I was
closing the blinds in my bedroom, once

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when getting the mail at work,
another time when stuck in traffic, and

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once when I was about to answer
a phone call. I ended up missing

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it. It was such a strange
reminder. Did it come out of nowhere?

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And now it was starting to become
a daily annoyance for the life of

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me. I couldn't figure out where
it was coming from. There wasn't really

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a direction. It was just like
in my head. He was there everywhere,

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nowhere and inside clack, and yet
Big Softy was yet to be seen.

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I was having trouble focusing on work. I couldn't push my intrusive thoughts

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out, and I ended up doing
some digging on social media, looking up

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old acquaintances from work, Folks I
hadn't seen or heard from in years.

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Some had started families, Others had
moved far away from work or studies.

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There were a handful of them still
left in Minnesota. One face stood out

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to me, though, Ian turns
out he was still around. The moment

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I got home from work, I
went straight to my computer. I looked

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up Ian on some of the more
common social media sites. The man had

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no privacy settings. Most of it
was just nonsense. Pictures of him having

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beers for the boys, a couple
of nice cars, group pictures of random

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people with generic nicknames. This was
a man that wanted to express nothing more

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than being hashtag Friday blessed. But
looking a little closer, there are a

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few cracks in the facade. For
example, there are a couple more recent

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comments he'd made to a few friends
of his. God doesn't just send angels

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to protect you, he said in
one post. Sometimes he sends demons that

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test you. Looking a bit closer
revealed a lot more pain that was freadily

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apparent. Ian was taking medication for
schizophrenia. He was overcoming a drinking problem.

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He seemed to constantly be bouncing between
complete disregard for others and hysterical with

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regret for his actions. He could
be fighting for forgiveness in one post and

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bragging about stealing from work in the
next. The man was a mess,

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a complete mess, and that half
missing ear of his didn't do him any

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favors. No matter how many tattoos
he put on his neck to divert the

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attention, but one particular post caught
my attention. He was discussing lifestyle challenges

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with a local youth pastor, an
old acquaintance we had in common, and

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they were at a disagreement. Ian
spat out, I don't deny my godamn

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problems. I know what they look
like, I know their names. I

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see their teeth, see their teeth. Ah fhethermore, no one seemed to

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have seen him for a while.
For all intents and purposes, Ian had

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sort of fallen off the face of
the earth, leaving behind one last cryptic

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post. It's getting too real.
The post said it's too close, and

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with that he posted nothing more.
I checked the dates my notes and made

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some deductions. The final post of
this was written the same day I first

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started hearing the teeth chattering noise.
Again. That couldn't be a coincidence.

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It just couldn't. I didn't find
out anything else about him, and the

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sound of teeth chattering with horrible timing, was getting worse. Once I had

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to pull over in traffic to stop
my heart from racing, I could have

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sworn I saw that hollowed out face
in my rear view mirror. I was

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so frustrated that I smacked my hands
on my dashboard so hard I got a

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bruise. By the time I got
home, I was nervous and stressed.

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I threw off my jacket, stormed
into the kitchen and cracked open a coke.

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I slammed the door shut so hard
I knocked one of the fridge magnets

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on to the floor. A little
blue sunflower who came with a place leaning

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back against the fridge, my heart
skipped a beat. Big Softy was right

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there, just a few feet away, looking right at me. Clack clack.

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I dropped my can of coke as
it hit the floor, I blinked.

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In the next moment, I was
alone again, clutching my chest.

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I picked the can up, wiped
up the spill with a couple of paper

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towels, try my best to calm
down. This was getting out of hand.

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I hadn't regained my composure before there
was another sound and knock on the

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door. It surprised me. I
wasn't expecting company. I lumbered over to

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the door, flustered and shaky.
I put my hand and on the handle,

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then stopped. Maybe there was a
reason I'd seen that thing. Maybe

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it wasn't just psychosis. What if
it meant something? Could it'd have something

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to do with whoever or whatever was
on the other side of the door.

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I can shoot you through the door, A mofled voice said, Open.

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I froze, one hand on the
door handle, another hand on my phone.

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I was stuck. I couldn't make
myself move. I won't ask again

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Open. I didn't know what to
say. I turned the handle and carefully

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stepped back. Ian he looked like
he'd gone through hell to get here,

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on washed hair, on kempt beard, and a shiny new handgun pointed at

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me. His hands were shaking.
He wasn't kidding around. His fingers trembled.

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He was trying to pull the trigger. Ian I said reflexively, you

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what do you? Shut up?
He spat, just shut up. He

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raised the handgun, staring me down. The sound of his own name shock

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him. It has to end,
I can't. His aim faltered. He

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looked away. A second later,
he pushed me back and entered my apartment,

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closing the door behind him. He
led me into the kitchen. There

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was still wet paper towels on the
floor from my spilled drink. Sit down,

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he said, pointing to a chair. Keep your hands on the table.

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I did as he said. There
was a sudden quiet between us,

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as if he hadn't planned this far. There was a clear uncertainty to his

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actions, which just made it worse. And tell what he'd do next.

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I need you to to make it
stop, he said. It has to

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stop, It has to I just
can't. Don't tell me you can't.

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You raised this gun, stepping closer. My whole body felt cooler. His

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blood rushed to my arms and legs. Don't you tell me that, he

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repeated. Now make it stop.
Before I got a chance to say,

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you'll do anything, he sat down
across from me. Gun still pointed in

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my direction. One wrong move,
a twitch, anything, and it'd be

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over. I almost forgot to breathe. I know it's yours. It's been

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yours for always, he continued,
scratching his hair. But it's too much,

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it's gone too far. So okay, I tried to click my thoughts.

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You're talking about him with the teeth. Don't act like you don't know

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its name, he groaned. Don't
you dare? We looked at one another

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and said it in unison, big
Softy. The moment we said it,

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I could see him emerging from the
shadows in the back of the kitchen.

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I try my best, not a
gasp, will look his way. He's

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in my head every night. I
hear him all the time. Ian continued,

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that damn click clacking right in my
ear, sometimes in my face,

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like he wants to take a bite. I'm not controlling that, I said,

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carefully, picking my words. I
haven't seen him in decades. You

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even know how bad you missed up, he said, squinting with disbelief.

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You named it. They saw.
They need to go off. They need

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a name, They need to be
made real. And he raised this gun,

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growing more determined by the second you
made him real. Removed this time

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to the bathroom. I didn't have
any saying the matter, having a gun

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pointed straight at me. Somewhere off
in the background, I could see the

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vague shape of big Softy moving soundlessly
from one room to another. I can't

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control it, I said, I
have nothing to I don't care, but

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this is pointless. There's nothing I
don't care. If you go away,

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his name goes away. You don't
know that. I was pushed through the

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bathroom door and to the back of
my shower. I tripped, coming down

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hard on my tailbone. The ceramic
tiles felt icy cold against my sweaty palms,

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and I could smell a bit of
chlorine from the cleaning supplies. He

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raised his gun and this was it, Big Softy, I said, that's

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that's all I did. I called
it a goddamn nickname. I don't deserve

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to die for that. He's resolved, faltered. He scratched his head again,

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groaning, but more so. I
could see Big Softy just outside the

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room. Was he getting closer?
Big Softy? I said again, my

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eyes darting to the door. I
was a scared kid. It just slipped

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out. Don't you dare put this
on me? He said, don't you

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dare? I observed the creature he
was approaching. Every time I said it's

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name, it got a little closer, looking ian dead in the eye.

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I took a deep breath. This
was it, Big Softy, I said,

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Big Softy, Big Softy, What
the hell? I kept repeating it

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over and over and over. He
might do something, he might not.

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Either way, I had to try. But by the sixth time I said

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it, that enormous, looming creature
was inches behind Ian, but more so,

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he was changing, not by a
lot, but enough for me to

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notice he was smiling. Ian raised
his gun at me and pulled the trigger

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at the same time I said the
name for a seventh and final time.

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The shot went wild as an unhinged
jaw came down on Ian's shoulder. There

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was a scream, a spurt of
blood on the bathroom mirror, a flailing

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arm hitting the light switch, turning
a gruesome scene into a shadow far at

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her, impossibly thin hands wrapping around
a throat, twisting his neck like a

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toothpaste cap, crunching, ripping,
chewing, teeth, teeth teeth, clack,

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clack clack, laughter, other worldly, ethereal laughter. I have no

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idea how long it went on.
Ian didn't even have time to beg the

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handgun clattered to the ground. It
was just me and this thing, alone

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in a dark bathroom. I couldn't
speak. I just curled up into a

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ball and tried my best to ignore
the viscera running into the train next to

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me. There was a slight creaking
sound as old knees bent a hot breath

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in my face. Big Softy could
breathe. It seemed nice name. It

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said. The voice was different,
real, tangible. I could hear vibrations

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in his throat. This was no
longer a figment of my imagination. Going

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it continued aye, I could hear
something getting dragged out of the apartment.

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I heard doors open and close,
and god knows how long I realized I

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was sitting there, shaking like a
dry leaf in the wind. My stomach

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turned at the idea of turning on
the light, but I had to.

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I got up and reached for the
light switch, almost tripping on the handgun

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and something slippery clinging to it fingers. I flipped the switch and I broke.

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I won't go into detail of what
I saw. Most of the body

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was gone, not all of it, but most of it. It was

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a blood trail leading into the hallway, then disappearing just as it reached the

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front door. I'd brought that thing
into the world. I'd named it,

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i'd reinforced it, i'd believed it
called out to it. I'd made it

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real. All it had to do
was answer. You can't unlearn something,

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And even if I could, I
think it's too late. I think Big

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Softy got just enough of what he
needed to become something else. Entirely.

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He took a life, and now
he's got one of his own. Maybe

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you still have some kind of connection. I don't know. I'd think we

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do where else he might have just
killed me too, right then and there.

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Then again, there's no way to
tell. I've obsessed over this for

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years, looking through articles about mentions
of Ian. There were no search parties,

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no one came looking. Even the
people who missed him were reluctant to

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work with the police, and with
his history of schizophrenia, there was a

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higher likelihood of him just doing something
he shouldn't. But I knew better.

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Ian hadn't been schizophrenic. Big Softy
had just stuck to him and just tortured

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him for god knows how long decade. Looking back at it, I think

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that was the plan all along,
to drive Ian to a point where he

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would try to kill me. But
it's in their final moments that a person

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gets truly desperate, and that's what
I felt on that floor, desperation.

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I reached out to whoever would answer, and I couldn't fathom the consequences.

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He's out there right now. He
probably looks like us, walks like us,

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and sounds like us. But wherever
he is, and whatever he does,

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I don't want a part of it. I don't know what to say.

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But if you meet a strangely tall
man he does that thing with his

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teeth, just no that there might
be more to him, a lot more.

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He's more than just a big softy