WEBVTT

1
00:00:01.480 --> 00:00:09.000
Hey, Hey, I'm back with
something for you. Yes, I'm talking

2
00:00:09.039 --> 00:00:18.280
to you to think about what I'm
gonna talk about. Some of you may

3
00:00:18.320 --> 00:00:23.199
not like it, but you know
me by now. I'm not here to

4
00:00:23.280 --> 00:00:28.640
tell you something to tickle your ears
to make you feel good. I'm here

5
00:00:28.679 --> 00:00:36.920
to tell you the truth. Fabricating, watering down, sugar coating does not

6
00:00:37.000 --> 00:00:45.280
help anyone. It only keeps people
where they are mentally. So I'm gonna

7
00:00:45.479 --> 00:00:50.039
talk about something, and as I
said, some of you won't like it,

8
00:00:50.479 --> 00:00:55.679
but it is what it is.
I'm not trying to hurt anyone.

9
00:00:55.920 --> 00:01:03.280
I'm just telling you the truth.
People need to stop with the lies.

10
00:01:04.359 --> 00:01:11.840
Stop it. I know we're in
the world right now full of people where

11
00:01:11.879 --> 00:01:19.359
anything goes, people believe almost anything. People are doing almost anything, or

12
00:01:19.719 --> 00:01:26.319
I should just say anything doing anything, everything and anything goes. You can

13
00:01:26.400 --> 00:01:30.959
be whatever you wanna be these days
in your mind. It does not make

14
00:01:30.000 --> 00:01:34.599
it so, but in your mind. So I know we were kind of

15
00:01:34.680 --> 00:01:42.319
in a weird place right now,
but through it all, I'm gonna tell

16
00:01:42.319 --> 00:01:53.480
you the truth. I've heard so
many people, so many people lying,

17
00:01:55.439 --> 00:02:04.560
telling people it's not your fault when
they are in an abusive relationship. It's

18
00:02:04.640 --> 00:02:08.919
not your fault when the woman.
Most times it's a woman. Sometimes men

19
00:02:09.000 --> 00:02:15.639
are abused too, don't get it
miscal screwed because they are. But I

20
00:02:15.680 --> 00:02:22.879
get so sick and tired of hearing
people say it's not your fault. It

21
00:02:23.080 --> 00:02:28.919
wasn't your fault. You're lying,
You are lying. Yes it is,

22
00:02:30.680 --> 00:02:38.520
Yes, it is because you have
to be accountable and responsible for the decisions

23
00:02:38.560 --> 00:02:46.719
you make. Many people make all
of these terrible decisions and then want to

24
00:02:46.719 --> 00:02:53.240
play the victim because they've gotten caught
up in situations. Yeah, it's your

25
00:02:53.280 --> 00:03:00.280
fault. They may be to blame
and they have a part in it,

26
00:03:00.520 --> 00:03:07.800
but it's your fault. And I
say most of all, because you got

27
00:03:07.800 --> 00:03:12.919
into a relationship, probably not knowing, really knowing who you were getting with.

28
00:03:14.319 --> 00:03:23.439
Some of you got into relationships for
the wrong reasons. Most of you

29
00:03:23.479 --> 00:03:29.680
could not see beyond your feelings,
your once, your desires, so it

30
00:03:29.719 --> 00:03:37.240
was based on you. Many of
you have seen the signs. You saw

31
00:03:37.360 --> 00:03:42.319
the signs, but you kept moving
forward because you thought you could change him,

32
00:03:42.479 --> 00:03:46.680
or you thought you could change her. You thought your love was so

33
00:03:46.879 --> 00:03:53.439
good, so strong, that you
could change that person, only to find

34
00:03:53.479 --> 00:04:00.400
out you couldn't. So oh,
yeah, it was your fault. Yes

35
00:04:00.479 --> 00:04:10.840
it was. Because you don't have
control over a person abusing you in the

36
00:04:11.080 --> 00:04:17.439
sense that people going to be who
they are, but you do have control

37
00:04:17.600 --> 00:04:25.160
as to whether you take it or
not. So if you're in an abusive

38
00:04:25.199 --> 00:04:30.879
relationship, it's your fault. I
mean, I'm just telling you like it

39
00:04:30.000 --> 00:04:38.600
is. When I was in one, it was my fault because I definitely

40
00:04:38.639 --> 00:04:47.879
saw the signs. I saw them
before I ever said I do, but

41
00:04:48.000 --> 00:04:53.920
I still chose to go forward.
But again, I was very young.

42
00:04:54.040 --> 00:05:04.000
I was still in my late teens, didn't know a thing. So stop

43
00:05:04.040 --> 00:05:10.319
believing this is not your fault,
because this is why I'm saying this.

44
00:05:10.319 --> 00:05:15.680
This is why I am saying what
I am saying. It is because when

45
00:05:15.800 --> 00:05:23.480
people want to cast a blame,
it does nothing to help them to see

46
00:05:24.439 --> 00:05:30.560
what they are doing. So if
people keep telling you it wasn't your fault,

47
00:05:31.160 --> 00:05:35.680
don't you take the blame. It
wasn't your fault, and you believe

48
00:05:35.839 --> 00:05:42.360
that that does nothing to help you
to become a better person, a stronger

49
00:05:42.399 --> 00:05:49.279
person, a more secure and confident
person, a person who love self.

50
00:05:50.360 --> 00:05:55.439
Me telling you it's not your fault, that don't do anything to help you.

51
00:05:57.199 --> 00:06:00.439
It may help your ego, but
it does not help you as a

52
00:06:00.439 --> 00:06:03.519
person. It does not help your
situation. It does not do anything to

53
00:06:03.560 --> 00:06:10.040
help you to become a better youth. So I'm just telling you because I'm

54
00:06:10.079 --> 00:06:16.319
sick and tired of that lie.
Because the only way it's not your fault

55
00:06:16.759 --> 00:06:23.319
is if they had a gun or
something to your head, forced you into

56
00:06:23.360 --> 00:06:30.240
the relationship and held you hostage there. And I don't know nobody who's gotten

57
00:06:30.319 --> 00:06:34.600
into the relationship like that. And
I'm not talking about people in different countries

58
00:06:34.680 --> 00:06:39.199
who have arranged marriages or none of
that. I'm not talking about any of

59
00:06:39.240 --> 00:06:46.680
that. I'm talking about normal,
regular relationships. People get into them too

60
00:06:46.759 --> 00:06:54.959
quickly. People get into them being
on the rebound. People get on get

61
00:06:55.000 --> 00:07:00.959
into them because they have agendas.
They want something, They need something.

62
00:07:01.160 --> 00:07:06.639
The person looks good, the person
have money, the person have a great

63
00:07:06.720 --> 00:07:15.560
title, the person have possessions.
They want something, only to find themselves

64
00:07:15.600 --> 00:07:18.959
in bad situations with bad people,
people they should have never been with.

65
00:07:19.319 --> 00:07:26.079
So yes, it is your fault
because you signed up for it. You

66
00:07:26.319 --> 00:07:34.639
made the decision to get into that
relationship, so you must you must be

67
00:07:34.800 --> 00:07:44.879
accountable and take responsibility for the choices
and decisions you made. Once you make

68
00:07:44.959 --> 00:07:53.720
those decisions and you get yourself into
the relationship, everything you go through is

69
00:07:53.759 --> 00:08:03.480
because you allowed it. I don't
talk just to talk. I'm trying to

70
00:08:03.519 --> 00:08:09.399
tell you something. Any person in
your life, I don't care who it

71
00:08:09.600 --> 00:08:15.600
is, he or she will treat
you how you have taught them to treat

72
00:08:15.680 --> 00:08:18.800
you. Whatever you let them get
away with is what they would do to

73
00:08:18.879 --> 00:08:24.120
you, over and over again,
as long as you let it happen.

74
00:08:26.079 --> 00:08:33.120
So how can you not be responsible? How can you not be at fault

75
00:08:33.240 --> 00:08:41.200
when you are allowing it? So
many of you, you're totally blind in

76
00:08:41.240 --> 00:08:46.440
your relationships. Love isn't blind you
are. You're totally blind in your relationships

77
00:08:46.440 --> 00:08:52.759
because you want what you want so
desperately. Some of you will do anything.

78
00:08:54.039 --> 00:08:56.679
People have even said, I don't
care if they don't love me,

79
00:08:58.559 --> 00:09:05.000
I don't care. What I'm going
through hurts. That's ridiculous. That is

80
00:09:05.240 --> 00:09:15.799
absolutely ridiculous, Totally ridiculous. Why
would you subject yourself to something like that?

81
00:09:16.159 --> 00:09:20.440
Why would you subject yourself to a
person like that, Someone who don't

82
00:09:20.480 --> 00:09:26.399
want you, someone who mistreats you, someone who disrespects you. Why would

83
00:09:26.480 --> 00:09:31.000
you subject yourself to that? Just
because you're lonely, just because you're insecure,

84
00:09:35.519 --> 00:09:39.399
you subject yourself to it. Some
of you are in relationships where you

85
00:09:39.440 --> 00:09:50.080
get nothing, nothing. They have
control over everything. You don't know what's

86
00:09:50.120 --> 00:09:58.399
going on in the relationship because you
turn everything over to the other person.

87
00:10:00.919 --> 00:10:05.000
So many people are in relationships don't
have nothing of their own, nothing,

88
00:10:07.080 --> 00:10:16.320
and because of it, they're being
totally controlled and treated like a slave within

89
00:10:16.360 --> 00:10:22.279
their own homes. You signed up
for it. A lot of you want

90
00:10:22.360 --> 00:10:28.720
to say, well, I didn't
see the signs. I didn't see he

91
00:10:28.039 --> 00:10:35.360
changed. No, no he didn't, and no she didn't. They are

92
00:10:35.679 --> 00:10:43.519
exactly who they've always been. You
just failed to acknowledge it because you were

93
00:10:43.559 --> 00:10:52.039
so focused on you what you wanted, your feelings. So the first thing

94
00:10:52.120 --> 00:11:00.559
people say is they changed. No, they did not change. Just begin

95
00:11:00.919 --> 00:11:09.320
to see what was already there.
People are quick to say there was no

96
00:11:09.480 --> 00:11:15.440
signs. There's always signs, always, and I've told you this years ago.

97
00:11:16.000 --> 00:11:20.960
Anyone who don't think there were signs, let's have a conversation about it.

98
00:11:20.200 --> 00:11:26.000
I guarantee you I will pick out
some signs if you be honest.

99
00:11:30.399 --> 00:11:37.600
I could pick out signs. But
see, we get so caught up that

100
00:11:37.799 --> 00:11:43.399
people fail to see what's right in
their face. Some people would do things

101
00:11:43.399 --> 00:11:48.840
to you in a subtle way.
They do things in a joking way,

102
00:11:48.919 --> 00:11:56.440
but they are showing you who they
are. But because people, again are

103
00:11:56.559 --> 00:12:05.639
so caught up in self what I
want, I feel that they can't see

104
00:12:05.000 --> 00:12:13.399
reality. Because for a lot of
people, they form their own views and

105
00:12:13.519 --> 00:12:20.919
opinions based on their own feelings,
wants, and desires. They're misusing you,

106
00:12:22.320 --> 00:12:28.360
They're treating you all types of terrible
ways, but you accept it because

107
00:12:30.279 --> 00:12:35.559
through all of the crap, they
give you the nibblets and nuggets, which

108
00:12:35.600 --> 00:12:39.879
are those little things enough to keep
you where you are, and you fall

109
00:12:39.960 --> 00:12:45.919
for it. They smack you around, you have bruises and all kind of

110
00:12:45.960 --> 00:12:54.240
stuff, and then you turn around
and give your body to them that very

111
00:12:54.519 --> 00:13:03.519
next moment are that night they abuse
you, and then you turn around and

112
00:13:03.639 --> 00:13:07.240
let them kiss all over you,
saying they're sorry. But this about the

113
00:13:07.279 --> 00:13:13.240
fifth or sixth times, some of
you the twentieth. They know exactly what

114
00:13:13.399 --> 00:13:20.759
to do. And the reason they
are that way is because you have taught

115
00:13:20.799 --> 00:13:26.639
them that they can be that way. You've taught him that he could slap

116
00:13:26.679 --> 00:13:35.440
you across the the face and you
will let them get by with it.

117
00:13:37.960 --> 00:13:43.600
You taught him that, you taught
he can curse you out and disrespect you,

118
00:13:43.120 --> 00:13:48.399
verbally, abuse you, abuse you
in every way. You taught him

119
00:13:48.759 --> 00:13:54.200
it was okay to do or you
taught her that it was okay to do.

120
00:13:56.879 --> 00:14:03.200
So how are you not at fault? They're only doing what you allowed

121
00:14:03.200 --> 00:14:09.679
them to do. They are wrong
on every level, but they are that

122
00:14:09.759 --> 00:14:16.399
way because you taught them they could
be that way. You taught them that

123
00:14:16.480 --> 00:14:22.360
you could be their punching bag.
You taught them that you could be their

124
00:14:22.519 --> 00:14:30.919
doormat. You taught them that what
you open yourself up to is what you're

125
00:14:30.960 --> 00:14:41.399
gonna get. What you allow and
accept is what you're gonna get. That's

126
00:14:41.399 --> 00:14:50.159
why I tell people know and love
yourself first, because when you do,

127
00:14:50.360 --> 00:14:58.679
you will never allow any man or
woman into your life with all of that

128
00:14:58.799 --> 00:15:05.799
drama and with the abuse and disrespect. You will not I don't care.

129
00:15:05.320 --> 00:15:15.000
Sometimes you may feel lonely, but
you're not desperate. You won't ever go

130
00:15:15.159 --> 00:15:24.559
back to that. But it's a
process for some people. You have to

131
00:15:24.799 --> 00:15:31.679
want to be better. You have
to want better for yourself, for your

132
00:15:31.840 --> 00:15:37.639
life. You have to look inward
and stop looking outward to him or her

133
00:15:39.200 --> 00:15:43.639
to make you feel good about yourself, because you're gonna end up feeling worse

134
00:15:43.879 --> 00:15:56.799
about yourself. You're gonna end up
with regret and resentment. So I'm telling

135
00:15:56.879 --> 00:16:04.200
you it is your fault. I
get so sick of hearing people say it's

136
00:16:04.279 --> 00:16:10.360
not your fault. Ninety nine percent
women will say it. Some men said,

137
00:16:10.480 --> 00:16:14.799
but mostly women said, it was
not your fault. It's not your

138
00:16:14.799 --> 00:16:23.519
fault. Yes it is, Yes
it is because you got into the relationship,

139
00:16:23.960 --> 00:16:30.279
you allowed it to happen. The
first time you did nothing, and

140
00:16:30.320 --> 00:16:33.679
you kept on in the relationship,
because that's how it starts. They do

141
00:16:33.759 --> 00:16:37.879
it the first time you do nothing. Oh, they coming and doing it

142
00:16:37.960 --> 00:16:45.440
again and again and again and again
because now they're manipulating you. They know

143
00:16:45.840 --> 00:16:53.480
exactly how they can get back in
your good grace because you've shown them.

144
00:16:53.679 --> 00:17:03.160
And people are this way because of
their own insecurities, their own unresolved issues.

145
00:17:03.279 --> 00:17:08.279
That's why people are that way.
He or she have an issue,

146
00:17:08.480 --> 00:17:18.519
and you have an issue when you
take it. And anyone who listened to

147
00:17:18.519 --> 00:17:25.640
me before early on, I've been
there, But I was eighteen years old.

148
00:17:25.799 --> 00:17:33.920
I didn't know anything. But oh
I learned fast, and I got

149
00:17:33.960 --> 00:17:42.839
the heck out quick, faster than
in a hurry. So when you go

150
00:17:44.400 --> 00:17:51.880
through life, you shouldn't just go. You should grow, learn from every

151
00:17:52.079 --> 00:18:03.759
experience, because I'll tell you,
in the world, no man or a

152
00:18:03.799 --> 00:18:08.119
woman on the face of the earth
is worth you allowing an accepting abuse.

153
00:18:10.680 --> 00:18:18.440
No man a woman are worth your
time of day when they disrespect you and

154
00:18:18.559 --> 00:18:26.359
misuse and abuse you. No man
or woman they're not worthy of even being

155
00:18:26.400 --> 00:18:32.920
in your space. But so many
of you cannot see it because you're so

156
00:18:33.079 --> 00:18:37.519
broken, you're so lost, And
then you get into these relationships and you

157
00:18:37.599 --> 00:18:44.119
become worse. You become a lot
worse. Some of you even to the

158
00:18:44.160 --> 00:18:49.880
point of suicidal. And that says
a lot, because why would you want

159
00:18:49.920 --> 00:18:59.559
to harm yourself over somebody who's not
worthy when you could have walked away.

160
00:19:00.079 --> 00:19:06.400
Some of you stay too long because
you allow him or her to do whatever

161
00:19:06.440 --> 00:19:10.759
they want to do to you.
Now you're afraid to go. Some of

162
00:19:10.799 --> 00:19:15.440
you are are afraid to go because
you think they'll do something to you.

163
00:19:15.720 --> 00:19:18.519
Some of you are afraid to go
because you don't have nothing to call your

164
00:19:18.559 --> 00:19:32.759
own, so you stay and just
drive yourself crazy, lose a sense of

165
00:19:32.799 --> 00:19:42.759
who you are because you're in such
misery and turmoil. No one, no

166
00:19:42.839 --> 00:19:48.359
one, no one, no one, no one should subject themselves to that

167
00:19:48.400 --> 00:19:57.480
type of toxic relationship. Many of
you are in relationships you don't even want

168
00:19:57.519 --> 00:20:00.960
to be with the person. You
have nothing for the person, You don't

169
00:20:00.960 --> 00:20:04.599
have any feelings anymore for the person. But you're staying out of your own

170
00:20:04.640 --> 00:20:12.119
insecurity. That is an issue.
That's an issue, and guess what they

171
00:20:12.319 --> 00:20:21.920
know it. You show your vulnerabilities
abilities. You show your vulnerabilities through your

172
00:20:22.039 --> 00:20:29.079
actions. You show your vulnerabilities through
your words. They know exactly how vulnerable

173
00:20:29.119 --> 00:20:36.000
you are because you show them or
you tell them, so they use it

174
00:20:36.039 --> 00:20:45.599
against you again, you teaching them
how to treat you. Too. Many

175
00:20:45.680 --> 00:20:56.279
people in this world are in these
unhappy relationships, unhappy and unhealthy, and

176
00:20:56.359 --> 00:21:00.519
they won't do anything about it.
So it is your fault. Is your

177
00:21:00.599 --> 00:21:10.079
fault for staying too long. I
don't care if you are afraid you stayed

178
00:21:10.119 --> 00:21:15.200
too long. You should have left
at the first sign, but you did

179
00:21:15.240 --> 00:21:21.000
it, so that falls on you. No, you did not you did

180
00:21:21.079 --> 00:21:26.599
not ask him or her to abuse
you. No, you did not,

181
00:21:29.079 --> 00:21:36.480
but you allowed it. You you
no one, but you allowed it.

182
00:21:38.079 --> 00:21:42.200
So you can take it however you
want to take it. I don't mean

183
00:21:42.319 --> 00:21:48.119
no hurd or harm. I'm telling
you the truth. I'm telling you the

184
00:21:48.160 --> 00:21:52.839
truth. Anyone who disagree, that's
fine. If you want to talk about

185
00:21:52.880 --> 00:21:57.519
it, let's talk about it.
Prove me wrong. You never will,

186
00:21:57.799 --> 00:22:03.240
but you can try prove me wrong. I would love the dialogue about it

187
00:22:03.599 --> 00:22:10.559
because I've been there. You can't
tell me because I've been there, and

188
00:22:11.319 --> 00:22:15.039
I know people. I study people
for years and years and years and years

189
00:22:15.079 --> 00:22:22.559
and years. You learn if you
pay attention, it's all the same.

190
00:22:22.880 --> 00:22:27.880
It really is. Life is not
that hard. People make it that hard

191
00:22:29.200 --> 00:22:36.680
because they have not healed from their
own unresolved issues, traumatic or not.

192
00:22:37.160 --> 00:22:42.400
That's all I'm saying on this.
Thank you for listening. Please share.

193
00:22:45.400 --> 00:22:49.480
People need to hear it all over
the world. Please share this episode.

194
00:22:51.039 --> 00:22:56.440
Go check out Relatable life Chronicles.
Please share because there's some good, good

195
00:22:56.480 --> 00:23:04.759
information on there. I'm tired of
people listening and stealing. I mean,

196
00:23:04.839 --> 00:23:11.000
it's just ridiculous, But you know
what, God got it, and I'm

197
00:23:11.000 --> 00:23:15.200
gonna leave it at that, so
please show this episode. Thank you again,

198
00:23:15.839 --> 00:23:21.319
much love to each and every one
of you, each and everyone.

199
00:23:22.200 --> 00:23:26.119
If you have any ideas that you
would like for me to discuss, reach

200
00:23:26.160 --> 00:23:32.200
out to me. We can do
that. Thank you again, much love.

201
00:23:33.000 --> 00:23:40.839
I end every episode the same,
and I hope and I do pray

202
00:23:41.720 --> 00:23:45.480
that you do it, think on
it,