Hey, Hey, I'm back with something for you. Yes, I'm talking
to you to think about what I'm gonna talk about. Some of you may
not like it, but you know me by now. I'm not here to
tell you something to tickle your ears to make you feel good. I'm here
to tell you the truth. Fabricating, watering down, sugar coating does not
help anyone. It only keeps people where they are mentally. So I'm gonna
talk about something, and as I said, some of you won't like it,
but it is what it is. I'm not trying to hurt anyone.
I'm just telling you the truth. People need to stop with the lies.
Stop it. I know we're in the world right now full of people where
anything goes, people believe almost anything. People are doing almost anything, or
I should just say anything doing anything, everything and anything goes. You can
be whatever you wanna be these days in your mind. It does not make
it so, but in your mind. So I know we were kind of
in a weird place right now, but through it all, I'm gonna tell
you the truth. I've heard so many people, so many people lying,
telling people it's not your fault when they are in an abusive relationship. It's
not your fault when the woman. Most times it's a woman. Sometimes men
are abused too, don't get it miscal screwed because they are. But I
get so sick and tired of hearing people say it's not your fault. It
wasn't your fault. You're lying, You are lying. Yes it is,
Yes, it is because you have to be accountable and responsible for the decisions
you make. Many people make all of these terrible decisions and then want to
play the victim because they've gotten caught up in situations. Yeah, it's your
fault. They may be to blame and they have a part in it,
but it's your fault. And I say most of all, because you got
into a relationship, probably not knowing, really knowing who you were getting with.
Some of you got into relationships for the wrong reasons. Most of you
could not see beyond your feelings, your once, your desires, so it
was based on you. Many of you have seen the signs. You saw
the signs, but you kept moving forward because you thought you could change him,
or you thought you could change her. You thought your love was so
good, so strong, that you could change that person, only to find
out you couldn't. So oh, yeah, it was your fault. Yes
it was. Because you don't have control over a person abusing you in the
sense that people going to be who they are, but you do have control
as to whether you take it or not. So if you're in an abusive
relationship, it's your fault. I mean, I'm just telling you like it
is. When I was in one, it was my fault because I definitely
saw the signs. I saw them before I ever said I do, but
I still chose to go forward. But again, I was very young.
I was still in my late teens, didn't know a thing. So stop
believing this is not your fault, because this is why I'm saying this.
This is why I am saying what I am saying. It is because when
people want to cast a blame, it does nothing to help them to see
what they are doing. So if people keep telling you it wasn't your fault,
don't you take the blame. It wasn't your fault, and you believe
that that does nothing to help you to become a better person, a stronger
person, a more secure and confident person, a person who love self.
Me telling you it's not your fault, that don't do anything to help you.
It may help your ego, but it does not help you as a
person. It does not help your situation. It does not do anything to
help you to become a better youth. So I'm just telling you because I'm
sick and tired of that lie. Because the only way it's not your fault
is if they had a gun or something to your head, forced you into
the relationship and held you hostage there. And I don't know nobody who's gotten
into the relationship like that. And I'm not talking about people in different countries
who have arranged marriages or none of that. I'm not talking about any of
that. I'm talking about normal, regular relationships. People get into them too
quickly. People get into them being on the rebound. People get on get
into them because they have agendas. They want something, They need something.
The person looks good, the person have money, the person have a great
title, the person have possessions. They want something, only to find themselves
in bad situations with bad people, people they should have never been with.
So yes, it is your fault because you signed up for it. You
made the decision to get into that relationship, so you must you must be
accountable and take responsibility for the choices and decisions you made. Once you make
those decisions and you get yourself into the relationship, everything you go through is
because you allowed it. I don't talk just to talk. I'm trying to
tell you something. Any person in your life, I don't care who it
is, he or she will treat you how you have taught them to treat
you. Whatever you let them get away with is what they would do to
you, over and over again, as long as you let it happen.
So how can you not be responsible? How can you not be at fault
when you are allowing it? So many of you, you're totally blind in
your relationships. Love isn't blind you are. You're totally blind in your relationships
because you want what you want so desperately. Some of you will do anything.
People have even said, I don't care if they don't love me,
I don't care. What I'm going through hurts. That's ridiculous. That is
absolutely ridiculous, Totally ridiculous. Why would you subject yourself to something like that?
Why would you subject yourself to a person like that, Someone who don't
want you, someone who mistreats you, someone who disrespects you. Why would
you subject yourself to that? Just because you're lonely, just because you're insecure,
you subject yourself to it. Some of you are in relationships where you
get nothing, nothing. They have control over everything. You don't know what's
going on in the relationship because you turn everything over to the other person.
So many people are in relationships don't have nothing of their own, nothing,
and because of it, they're being totally controlled and treated like a slave within
their own homes. You signed up for it. A lot of you want
to say, well, I didn't see the signs. I didn't see he
changed. No, no he didn't, and no she didn't. They are
exactly who they've always been. You just failed to acknowledge it because you were
so focused on you what you wanted, your feelings. So the first thing
people say is they changed. No, they did not change. Just begin
to see what was already there. People are quick to say there was no
signs. There's always signs, always, and I've told you this years ago.
Anyone who don't think there were signs, let's have a conversation about it.
I guarantee you I will pick out some signs if you be honest.
I could pick out signs. But see, we get so caught up that
people fail to see what's right in their face. Some people would do things
to you in a subtle way. They do things in a joking way,
but they are showing you who they are. But because people, again are
so caught up in self what I want, I feel that they can't see
reality. Because for a lot of people, they form their own views and
opinions based on their own feelings, wants, and desires. They're misusing you,
They're treating you all types of terrible ways, but you accept it because
through all of the crap, they give you the nibblets and nuggets, which
are those little things enough to keep you where you are, and you fall
for it. They smack you around, you have bruises and all kind of
stuff, and then you turn around and give your body to them that very
next moment are that night they abuse you, and then you turn around and
let them kiss all over you, saying they're sorry. But this about the
fifth or sixth times, some of you the twentieth. They know exactly what
to do. And the reason they are that way is because you have taught
them that they can be that way. You've taught him that he could slap
you across the the face and you will let them get by with it.
You taught him that, you taught he can curse you out and disrespect you,
verbally, abuse you, abuse you in every way. You taught him
it was okay to do or you taught her that it was okay to do.
So how are you not at fault? They're only doing what you allowed
them to do. They are wrong on every level, but they are that
way because you taught them they could be that way. You taught them that
you could be their punching bag. You taught them that you could be their
doormat. You taught them that what you open yourself up to is what you're
gonna get. What you allow and accept is what you're gonna get. That's
why I tell people know and love yourself first, because when you do,
you will never allow any man or woman into your life with all of that
drama and with the abuse and disrespect. You will not I don't care.
Sometimes you may feel lonely, but you're not desperate. You won't ever go
back to that. But it's a process for some people. You have to
want to be better. You have to want better for yourself, for your
life. You have to look inward and stop looking outward to him or her
to make you feel good about yourself, because you're gonna end up feeling worse
about yourself. You're gonna end up with regret and resentment. So I'm telling
you it is your fault. I get so sick of hearing people say it's
not your fault. Ninety nine percent women will say it. Some men said,
but mostly women said, it was not your fault. It's not your
fault. Yes it is, Yes it is because you got into the relationship,
you allowed it to happen. The first time you did nothing, and
you kept on in the relationship, because that's how it starts. They do
it the first time you do nothing. Oh, they coming and doing it
again and again and again and again because now they're manipulating you. They know
exactly how they can get back in your good grace because you've shown them.
And people are this way because of their own insecurities, their own unresolved issues.
That's why people are that way. He or she have an issue,
and you have an issue when you take it. And anyone who listened to
me before early on, I've been there, But I was eighteen years old.
I didn't know anything. But oh I learned fast, and I got
the heck out quick, faster than in a hurry. So when you go
through life, you shouldn't just go. You should grow, learn from every
experience, because I'll tell you, in the world, no man or a
woman on the face of the earth is worth you allowing an accepting abuse.
No man a woman are worth your time of day when they disrespect you and
misuse and abuse you. No man or woman they're not worthy of even being
in your space. But so many of you cannot see it because you're so
broken, you're so lost, And then you get into these relationships and you
become worse. You become a lot worse. Some of you even to the
point of suicidal. And that says a lot, because why would you want
to harm yourself over somebody who's not worthy when you could have walked away.
Some of you stay too long because you allow him or her to do whatever
they want to do to you. Now you're afraid to go. Some of
you are are afraid to go because you think they'll do something to you.
Some of you are afraid to go because you don't have nothing to call your
own, so you stay and just drive yourself crazy, lose a sense of
who you are because you're in such misery and turmoil. No one, no
one, no one, no one, no one should subject themselves to that
type of toxic relationship. Many of you are in relationships you don't even want
to be with the person. You have nothing for the person, You don't
have any feelings anymore for the person. But you're staying out of your own
insecurity. That is an issue. That's an issue, and guess what they
know it. You show your vulnerabilities abilities. You show your vulnerabilities through your
actions. You show your vulnerabilities through your words. They know exactly how vulnerable
you are because you show them or you tell them, so they use it
against you again, you teaching them how to treat you. Too. Many
people in this world are in these unhappy relationships, unhappy and unhealthy, and
they won't do anything about it. So it is your fault. Is your
fault for staying too long. I don't care if you are afraid you stayed
too long. You should have left at the first sign, but you did
it, so that falls on you. No, you did not you did
not ask him or her to abuse you. No, you did not,
but you allowed it. You you no one, but you allowed it.
So you can take it however you want to take it. I don't mean
no hurd or harm. I'm telling you the truth. I'm telling you the
truth. Anyone who disagree, that's fine. If you want to talk about
it, let's talk about it. Prove me wrong. You never will,
but you can try prove me wrong. I would love the dialogue about it
because I've been there. You can't tell me because I've been there, and
I know people. I study people for years and years and years and years
and years. You learn if you pay attention, it's all the same.
It really is. Life is not that hard. People make it that hard
because they have not healed from their own unresolved issues, traumatic or not.
That's all I'm saying on this. Thank you for listening. Please share.
People need to hear it all over the world. Please share this episode.
Go check out Relatable life Chronicles. Please share because there's some good, good
information on there. I'm tired of people listening and stealing. I mean,
it's just ridiculous, But you know what, God got it, and I'm
gonna leave it at that, so please show this episode. Thank you again,
much love to each and every one of you, each and everyone.
If you have any ideas that you would like for me to discuss, reach
out to me. We can do that. Thank you again, much love.
I end every episode the same, and I hope and I do pray
that you do it, think on it,