Welcome back to the Black Girl Experience broadcasting live from another Planet. Today's January
first, twenty twenty four. Shout out to all of y'all that made it.
Shout up to all of y'all that made it. Shout out to me
for making it, Cause goddamn twenty twenty three had me and a motherfucking choke
hold. Okay, I didn't think I was getting that. Motherfucker had me
like these like, bitch, you ain't getting out, okay, have me
into choke hold like Melvin or baby Boy. I'm gonna take my time with
this one. I have a lot to talk about. I don't know where
I want to start. New Year's Eve was crazy. I'm gonna just be
honest and tell y'all the truth about how my night went. You know what
my plans are going forward into twenty twenty four, or you know the just
every day what's going on? I got. I got my little handy dandy
notes on the phone. I brought the tearot cards. I actually have some
really good New Year's Eve questions that we're gonna go over even though it was
New Year's Day. And then I also brought one of my little journals.
Because I was reviewing this the other day and I was like, damn,
girl, you're really doing the motherfucking thing. So it's so much where do
I want to start? So where do I want to start? Where do
I want to start? So we can start with Okay, January first,
I got here early today. It's four forty nine right now, So okay,
what do you say on drum line? You're late? If you're on
time? What do you say if you're on time? Whatever? You're late
if you're on time. But I'm super early today, and you know I
like to be early. What tr today? I guess it's because it's the
holiday all of that, but I did not have to work today, and
fuck that job. Let me tell y'all why, because it just becomes more
and more apparent to me that they just don't give a fuck about their employees.
And it's like, I'm really starting to get very verbal in that bitch.
I'm really like, he don't say shit to me, because I can't
wait to let a motherfucker have it in here. What was that I was
scheduled to work on Christmas Day? But yeah, I was scheduled to work
on Christmas Day, so two days before that, I had worked and I
wasn't really feeling a hunted at work, you know what I'm saying. But
I stuck it out through the day. I'm like, whatever, I'm gonna
shake back. I got home that night, Baby, I was throwing up
all night. It was coming out every which way. Everything was going on.
So I'm like, I I got a motherfucker's stomach bug. The stomach
flew whatever. So I'm like, okay. The next day was Christmas Eve,
so I was in the bed all day. I didn't even want to
try to go to urgent care or whatever. I'm just in the bed,
like, please let my stomach feel better. So I called my job.
I call my manager to let him know that your girl is down bad.
I'm like, hey, I don't think I'm gonna make it in on Christmas
Day, so I'm giving you, like a twenty four hour notice to get
it the fuck together, to pull whatever strangs you gotta do. Figure out
what manager is gonna come in, cause obviously nothing of the employee is gonna
come in if they got off. They like, bitch, I'm with my
family, I'm with my kids. We open and gifts. Fuck y'all.
This motherfucker told me, I'm gonna need you to hurry up and recover.
We ain't got nobody to cover the shift. He didn't even say I hope
you feel better, or you know, how are you what was going on?
I'm gonna need you to hurry up and recover. I'm throwing my fuck
guts up. What do you mean? So that's what I'm saying, just
no regard, no consideration. I'm in fucking Dallas. I'm not even going
home to Detroit to go see my son for the ho Like you know what
I'm saying, just just no fucking regard for a person. So uh.
I ended up calling the hotel manager and I'm like, you know, I'm
feeling real pressure to come in and I'm sick as fuck, and he was
like, hey, you know I would come in and do it, but
I got my kids, you got your kids, and I'm on my death
bed. I'm like, okay, okay, okay, cause I can't wait
to the day that I walk out that bitch like this is my last day.
Ain't no two week notice, just wait. And I know that the
universe is like really constructing it for me to work out in whatever type of
way because I can't wait to be like fuck y'all. So whatever, So
Christmas Day he rolled around and I actually felt okay that day. It was
like, oh, you can use the chair, you can sit on all
it. I know, motherfucker, I know. And it was very dead
that day. But whatever. I guess time and a half, we'll see
when that check rolls around. Because the math don't be mathing to me.
But you know, I'm gonna do what I I'm gonna do what I gotta
do until my time comes. So that's that, you know, still dealing
with the toxic work environment and all of that shit. Oh we did have
a little fake ass holiday party. I say fake ass holiday party because I'm
used to jobs like I worked at, like a lot of law firms and
shit like that, so I'm used to like, oh, we going to
a nice steakhouse. They didn't rent at the whole thing out. It's cater
music, just unlimited liquor that type of stuff. At the hotel. Okay,
we're gonna order Mexican food and we're gonna sit in the lobby. Great.
But they was like we got great prizes, we got great prizes and
all this other shit and I'm like, sure, what y'all got, like
fucking and uh cray all of markers or something like what were a fucking little
Caesar's gift card? What you about to like? But they actually ended up
having some really nice prizes, and so I remember talking to one of the
girls, the breakfast attendant, that morning, and she was just talking about,
like I get so much anxiety, like I don't want to play the
games in front of everybody and all of that. I'm like, girl,
no, we gotta claim it. Like you're gonna win a prize, It's
gonna be all good. I'm like, have fun, like it ain't nothing
to be like afraid of her, like anxiety for what, like we're playing
games. But you know that's the thing social anxiety. So they had a
lot of nice gifts and shout out to the Black Fever. I'm just like,
you know, shout out to the minority at the job, cause we
want my whole team, my whole click. We all want some really good
stuff. So I just remember like that morning I went in, like y'all
know, I'll be listening to my little like affirmations, my manifestation, shit,
my morning ritual every morning. I should be a gatekeeper and and I
tell y'all what I'll be listening to. But I will I'll tell y'all this.
I listen to a lot of Wayne Dyer, and that's like, that's
like my spirit animal. He passed on. I don't know what year he
passed away, but I ended up. I had came across him just randomly,
maybe like a year or so ago, and I always listened to all
his stuff on YouTube, and I found out that he's actually like he was
from Detroit, and so I'm like, okay, now we got a little
spiritual Detroit connection some but no, I really fuck with his videos and stuff
and like his teachings and stuff. So I won't be a gatekeeper. Look
up Wayne Dyer, like it'll change your life. So I went into it
that morning claiming it like I'm gonna win a pride, but y'all better win
a prize. Y'all be in here mistreating your girl. So they had a
lot of games and stuff, but I didn't even get to play the games.
Uh I had. I had put down my little tickets for whatever I
wanted to win. They had like some Beats headphones I wanted the I don't
know the little breakfast, little griddle thing I had. I wanted that or
whatever whatever. I put my little tickets by a whole bunch of stuff.
But then you had the the raffle ticket, and I just knew. I
just knew what she gave it to me. I'm like, this is the
winning motherfucking ticket, because I already clapped, like I just already knew your
girl won the forty three inch flat screen TV. I'm like, Okay,
look at God, Look at God, cause it's going in my new crib
as soon as I move. So you know what I'm saying, All the
blessings and abundance upon your girl. So that happened. I just walked up
feeling like a winner that day. So that was that. Work is still
toxic as fuck though, whatever. Fast forwarding, So New Year's Eve.
Let me see, do I want to talk about the angel number of today.
I'll get into that and then we'll shoot into New Year's Eve and where
we're at. So on the way here the last four of the license plate,
sorry my guy, six one seven two. Angel number six one seven
two represents the balance creativity, intuition, and new beginnings, and it means
great future ahead. And I love this because I was kind of in my
head about being honest about my New Year's Eve and all of that. But
I'm like, bro, just be real, just be real, cause that's
I'm tired of the fake shit. It be a lot of phony shit on
the internet. A lot of people be faking the funk and acting like life
just be perfect. Oh let's keep it a buck. So Angel number six
months Becoming your best Self. Angel number six one seven two represents balanced creativity,
intuition, and new beginnings. Through this sequence, you are encouraged to
follow the path that you fully trust and desire, fall in love with yourself
and your accomplishments above all. Number six one seven two tells you not to
compare your journey with others, So stop looking at Instagram and motherfucker's going on
trips and getting this money and doing this, and note of like your time
will come. And that's another thing I'll say this too. A lot of
people around me have been getting their blessings and I'm like, I know my
shit is around the corner, Like you know what I'm saying. So anytime
somebody get blessed with they shit, I'm I'm congratulating I'm clapping. I'm like,
I'm happy for you. I know my shit is next six one seven
two Angel number. Believing in your talent and creativity. The power of the
angel number six seven in this angel number amplifies your belief, which is something
that I really, really uh and I talk about belief in here too.
We're gonna we're gonna get to that in a second. Belief is very big.
Self sabotage is the thing for me, and like negative self talk,
but you gotta you gotta amplify your belief. Therefore, begin to manifest great
tidings and do what it takes to accomplish your goals. It is time to
push your dreams and ambitions a little further. Even when you don't see any
visible changes, trust in the process. And that's what I've been dealing with
on the daily now, Like I keep telling myself, because you know,
you get those you get to those moments where it's like you just looking at
your circumstances like this is fucked up? How is this gonna happen? Huh?
Where I'm gonna get the money from? How i'ma get blessed? How
is this miracle gonna happen? How's it like? And again example with with
me winning the flat screen TV. So another thing that like is very heavy
on my mind here is like I'm still working to get myself established. I'm
not in my own place. Shit, you know what I'm saying. But
that's always on my mind, Like I gotta get all this stuff from my
place. I gotta get furniture, I gotta get it TV. I gotta
a motherfucker brand new team. Like, so that's what you gotta understand that
everything's gonna fall in place how it's supposed to. So even when you don't
see any visible changes, trust in the process. I also was listening to
some little manifestation shit in the morning one day and it was saying, like,
you know, imagine being in a building. So I was thinking about
myself being at work at the hotel. So of course it's a big ass
window, you know, right across from me, and I see the people
walking past, but once they walk past the window, I don't see them.
But that doesn't mean that there aren't people walking outside. You know what
I'm saying. You can't see it. You can't see everything that's going on
behind the scenes. You can't see what the universe is doing. You can't
see what God is doing at all times, but you gotta understand that everything
is working in your favor. Something tremendous and magnificent awaits. Here's to six
one, seven two Symbolism and interpretation. Number six stands for peace and harmony
in your life, which I know I'm very big on. I don't do
the chaos. I don't. I don't like that shit. The Guardian Angels
want you to connect with these attributes as early as now. Keep in mind
that the frequency that you invite in your life depends on where you focus the
most, and that's very important to take note of too. The frequency that
you invite into your life. I'll just set that there. Because we getting
into New Year's even what happened, Okay, with each end there comes a
new beginning. This is something that I struggle with a lot too. Like
I have a very hard time with letting things go, with letting people go,
with letting phases and stages in my life go. I have a very
very hard time letting go. That's probably one of the toughest things. Therefore,
don't try to feel sorry for yourself during despair. The endings are preparing
you for significant and positive changes in your life. Here I am always like,
oh, I can't wait till the miracle cappins. I can't wait till
you know I step into my glow up. I can't wait till the success
comes. But yet I want to hang on to all the bullshit, or
don't want to let it go, even if I know that it's no longer
serving me. If I know, like Jazmine, you got to let shit
go. But again, where we're getting to New Year's Eve, we gonna
get to it. We gonna get to it. Find a way to focus
on your goals and never lose focus even when you decide to hit rock bottom.
Angels call you to continue to trust in your gut feeling, pray for
the pray for divine guidance to show you the right path. It is time
to focus on hope and faith in your life, keep past hurts and negativity
at bay, and pay more attention to what shapes your future for the better.
In simple terms, choose to see the light in the darkness. I
am the silver linings Queen. I always try to see the silver linings in
every situation. Have courage and confidence that the divine masters are helping you to
achieve your mind significant potential. First, focus on the present time and always
count on the ascended masters for support and direction. This angel number says that
it's time to expand in your skills and your inner potential. Be open minded
and let others know what you are capable of every motherfucking thing, bitch,
stop hiding your talent. Follow me on YouTube, follow me on TikTok,
follow me on the ground helling my homies black girl experience. But begin with
what you have and everything else will shift to your good Be practical in your
decisions, actions, and words that you say to yourself for positive changes and
everything to align accordingly. Choose to be optimistic. The glasses have full,
not half empty, okay, and focus on being thankful for what you have.
Trust and believe that it is possible to attain everything that your heart desires.
Besides, remember that even when angels have answered your prayers, you need
to play your part. Set a solid foundation from the start, and don't
give up until you have arrived at your fullest potential. Understand that the current
challenge is set to place you at a more promising and significant place As a
result, the spirit guys want you to keep on manifesting your true life's desires,
not to mention. Believing yourself even through disappointments. This is a sign
that positive changes are coming your way. So as you continue to pursue your
mission, something great a wasting in your end. In the meantime, be
grateful for what you have. Blah blah blah. What else let's see let
go of extreme fear of failure or doubt. This angel number wants you to
live your life without regret. It's time to have faith in yourself in the
divine. So what if the beginning of this say is said, uh,
becoming your best self. So now we're gonna slide into let's slide into the
new year. I guess we're gonna slide into New Year's Eve. So I
didn't have any plans for New Year's Eve. I don't feel like I've had
plans these last couple of years. Like I don't really have a desire to
go out to the club. I don't drink, I'm a smoker, i'm'a
hit the blunt, But you know what I'm saying, Like I don't have
a desire to go out and party. Watch the ball drop and again,
you know, I used to uh really listen to a lot of I don't
know if y'all are familiar with Young Pharaoh. Uh, I don't know what
happened to my dog. They got him, They got to that man.
Young Pharaoh was kind of like a spiritual or conscious like teacher whatever, motivational
speaker, just a very educated, well versed and knowledge black man. I
was like really waking people up with his messages and shit like that. His
first video was like the black woman is God or whatever. And he has
so many followers on YouTube, he has so many videos and whatever. Like
he was really doing his big one and you gotta understand that. And that's
why for me, like I don't I don't want to be famous, Like
I want my platform to be very successful and shit, but I don't want
to be famous. I just want to be wealthy. I want to be
financially free. I want to be able to live the life that I want.
I want to be able to travel. I want to just do what
I love and live a purposeful life. But when you are really trying to
put out a good message to the people, you know what I'm saying,
When you're trying to educate people, and like, especially if you're like a
health conscious person or just a conscious person, or you know, want your
people to be better, and you trying to move shit forward, You're not
gonna You're not gonna last too long in an these streets. You know what
I'm saying. Uh, so you got and you know it's just you gotta
be real careful with how you do shit. So I don't know. He
ended up like getting drugged and all types of crazy shit. And the last
one of his last interviews was with Nick Cannon and the interview never came out.
He was talking that shit on there and I'm like, where's the interview?
And ever since then it's just been downhill. But I lost my train
of thought. But whatever, I don't I forgot where I was going with
that. Oh, I was saying that I used to listen to him a
lot. I don't know why I was saying that whatever. I don't know.
I don't know where I was going with that, but okay, getting
Oh I was talking about the ball drop. So he was one of the
people that I used to listen to and he he had a video where he
was talking about like, first of all, he used to talk about all
the pagan holidays and how Christmas, New Year's like all that shit is really
like evil and shit like that. But he was just talking about the meaning
of like the ball drop, Like people do all of this shit, you
know, get dressed up, go out and drink. Oh we about to
watch the ball drop just to do the same shit over and over, and
you know what I'm saying. And people never changed, and they just again,
I've been past like the whole holiday shit and just all of that for
many years now, Like I really just want to create my own traditions and
kind of do my own thing. I'm not I really, if I could,
I would live off the grid, real talk and just do my own
thing. But you know, you still got to exist in this crazy ass
world. But yeah, and another thing is, you know I've talked about
this on here before too, about how like the real New Year is not
until airy season. If y'all don't know, aries is the first sign of
the zodiac. They start the shit. So like March April, when the
flowers and the plants and everything blooms, and you know, springtime, that's
that's the new year. Not in the dead cold in the middle of the
winter. But if you want to go by the calendar date whatever, at
the end of the day, the point is, no matter whatever you believe
or whenever the new year starts for you, you have to understand that there
is no power in the clock. First of all, time is an illusion.
That's number one. You know what I'm saying. Motherfuckers was telling me
Happy New Year. At twelve o'clock. It was still eleven o'clock in Dallas.
I'm like, I'm still in twenty twenty three apparently, But there's no
power in the clock. Everything is a mindset, you know what I'm saying.
So if you feel like you want to change and do whatever, you
don't have to wait till January first to do that. And even if you
do the side, okay, it's the new year, I'd have set a
New Year's resolution. I'd have set my attentions. I got these goals,
whatever, cool do whatever you gotta do to carry that shit out. But
you gotta understand that you are gonna fuck up, you are gonna fail.
And that's what I had to realize last night. And I'm not justifying what
happened or anything, and I'm actually I'm not even mad at myself. I
got to a place of acceptance and I was just it was just the perspective
of how I looked at it. So, like I said, I didn't
have any plans or whatever. For real. I worked yesterday. So when
I got off work, I was just on chill, you know, and
I hit some people up and was like, oh, let's just get to
well, not even people, I hit up one person. It was like,
hey, let's just I don't know, get some champagne and just chill
at the crib, maybe get like a little game or something, you know,
just be on some chill shit or whatever. And so in the midst
of me making this gang gang whatever, let's just have a little chill night,
in the midst of that, a little toxicity dwindled in there. And
the toxicity has been, uh, you know, trying to make its way
through my life for some time now, for some weeks now, for some
months now. And my thing is like, when you want to start a
new and move forward in your life from a situation, you gotta shut the
door completely. You can't leave that bitch cracked open. You can't be like,
oh, well, they're engaging with me. And I'm not answering or
I'm not whatever. They blocked on here, but they not blocked, you
know what I'm saying. Like the point is people be one access to you,
and if a motherfucker's persistent, they gonna get through, you know what
I'm saying at some point, And you could play the game of like,
oh, well, I'm they engaging with me here, you know what I'm
saying, or risk them hitting me up or whatever like whatever. So it
was that whole type of situation that's been going on with me, and I
was standing strong for a very long time, you know what I'm saying,
for months, and it started getting to a point where motherfuckers is getting some
type of access to me, you know what I'm saying. And so anyways,
last night I was making these little plans or whatever, and the toxicity
that made its way on in okay, And but here I am being very
self aware of taking accountability for the situation I had. Yeah, it seeped
his way in, but I let it in, you know what I'm saying.
I allowed it, I engaged with it. So I was not standing
on business yesterday and I ain't gonna lie. It was so much going on
in my mind. I was like I was talking to God, I was
talking to myself. I'm like, Jasmine, don't do this. Look how
far you've gotten away from this. Look at how your life has been when
you separated yourself from the situation. Blah, just you know, just going
through all of the emotions, all of the shit, and you know,
I almost almost stood on business, but almost doesn't count. So at the
end of the night, shit, in the wee hours of the morning,
I did not stand on business. And I'm I'm not even mad at myself.
I'm not like disappointed at myself. Like I said, I just looked
at it as a as a teachable moment because so much happened within everything that
happened, aside from what happened, like you know, a lot of like
a very I don't want to say a very deep conversation was had, but
a conversation was had, and it just kind of I already all I know
a lot of these things. There are a lot of things that I know
about certain situations and certain people. But it's kind of like a reminder.
I guess it's just like that people are who they are. You got to
accept people for who they are, you know what I'm saying, and just
again taking time to really self reflect on what I've been doing for the past
however many months, the path that I've gotten on, the way that I
feel that my life has changed, and when in a totally different direction and
feel like things have gotten better for me when stepping away from a situation.
So you know, sometimes it takes those moments for you to fuck up or
to you know, slip up or whatever. And the same thing I want
to compare it to your New Year's resolutions, goals, intentions that you set
for yourself. Whatever your resolution is, if you want to get healthy,
you want to get fit, you want to be more financially responsible, or
whatever your goals or resolutions are, guess what you're gonna fuck up. You're
gonna feel some people feel on day one, some people feel on day three,
sixty five, and you know all those other days in between. I'm
gonna hit y'all up on April twenty third, like, what's up on the
New Year's resolutions? How y'all doing? Y'all gonna be the fucking forgot.
So you just gotta understand that that's life. You're a human, You're going
to fuck up. You're not always going to you know what I'm saying,
You're not gonna always stand on business. But it's very important to take accountability
for that and be able to assess the situation and see, you know,
and reflect on it. And that's what I had to do with Like,
like I said, I usually get really upset about myself or with myself when
I fuck up or do some shit that I'm not so proud about or whatever,
but I just really wasn't even upset, Like it just show it just
again. It just really showed me like the progress that I have made and
how there are certain things that I don't want to go back to. Another
thing is I think I kind of took a couple notes on this. Like
Another thing is like I really started to see the power of self love and
like really empowering myself and really just pouring into myself because I'm a people pleaser
and that's been my downfall and a lot of my relationships and just whatever in
life because I always overgive and I go over and beyond and I break my
back for other people and it's like in the end, I always feel like,
damn, I gave everything. I had and da da da da da,
And it's like, Jasmine, you have to give all of that stuff
to yourself, go over and beyond for yourself, love yourself, put yourself
you first, you know what I'm saying. And then whatever it is that
you want to need in your life, you're gonna attract that. You're gonna
start to get all of those things back. When you don't pour into yourself,
when you don't love yourself, people could see that. People could see
it, and they will take advantage of that. So that was another thing
that I just like realized, like during this time that I had been working
on and better in myself with what else? It was something else? Oh,
being a vibrational mismatch with somebody is very crucial to know or recognize.
Like that little angel number shit I had just read, it was talking about
being in peace and harmony, Like that's a real thing for me in my
life. So if you disrupt my piece, if you disturb my peace,
that's a problem for me. And also you have to recognize when you are
not a vibrational match with somebody. So that's what I'm always trying to get
this person to understand, is like we're just not good for each other,
you know what I'm saying, Because we can't even get along, like we're
always bickering back and forth, and it's not even it's more so you that
got the problem with me and want to try to make me conform to be
this person for you. It's like, Bro, we just not a match,
you know what I'm saying. I don't want to have to be one
of those people like man, we was doing so good. Like no,
I don't want to be in a relationship like that. I want to be
with a person where it's piece of harmony. You know what I'm saying all
the time, Not all the time, but all the time for the most
part. You know what I'm saying, Like if you just everything is just
and not even like an argument like that, but it's just like everything is
just friction. Everything is like pulling teeth. Everything is a problem. It's
like something ain't right. That means we not meant to be, you know
what I'm saying. So realizing that you're a vibrational mismatch with somebody is very
important as well, Like the natural harmony of relationship is very important to me.
I feel like a man that don't compliment, you congratulate, you celebrate
you, but want to be in your energy. You don't like me?
Then, like, why are you? How do you not do any of
those things but you want to be in my energy? How is it that
I'm not the person for you? And I had to have this conversation as
well, Like, and I was very proud of myself with the conversation that
I had because I was just being like, I was really just being honest
about my feelings and my emotions and like, really, even though I didn't
stand on business, but in that conversation, though, I was proud of
myself for standing on business, Like, this is not what I want.
You know what I'm saying. I'm like, this is not what I want,
and this is not what you want? So what are we doing?
You know what I'm saying? You know that I'm not the person you want,
and I know that you're not the person that I want. I know
that I deserve better. I know that I know what I'm worth. You
know what I'm saying, I know what I desire in a relationship from a
man, Like why would I waste my time with you? Why would I
do that? I'm like, we're wasting each other's time. And I don't
really know what it is though, Like I don't really know what it is
that you want. I feel like you want a lot of different things,
and I think that you are a very selfish person, you know what I'm
saying, And that's and that's cool, but you gotta go be selfish in
your own world. You're not about to be selfish with me, you know
what I'm saying. So it was just a lot, but I was just
really proud of myself for recognizing that. But I did play into the toxicity
and I ain't gonna lie. I had a great card. I had a
great time. I had a great time. But another thing that I had
wrote down was like you gonna fuck around and misshell Mark trying to put a
puzzle piece where it don't belong. You got a whole purpose in this life,
Jazmine. You you know what I'm saying. You get you get to
these phases, or you get to these points where you get your momental back
up and you be going and you be moving and some shit come try to
throw you off, and here you are, you about to misshow motherfucking mark
trying to put a puzzle piece together that don't even fit. And that was
another thing. There was one day a motherfucker snuck me, okay, got
through to me. Motherfuckers, And that's the thing. Excuse me. I'm
a person that always answers the phone when I'm sleep like I just have a
habit of doing that. So motherfucker be like, oh you sleep, I'm
like, no, I'm up, But he did sleep. You could get
through to me like that. And sometimes people just get through to me at
other times when I'm doing something in the morning, when I'm getting ready for
work. Somebody got through to me in the morning when I was getting ready
for work or no. I was on the phone all night one night and
I had to get up for work, and I probably went to bed at
four AM, and I gotta be up at six. Baby, that alarm
went off and I hit snooze and I woke back up and it was six
thirty and my whole day was shot. I was like, fuck, I'd
be leaving, you know. I usually listen to my affirmations and all that
shit. In the morning, I was running lay. I was trying to
hurry it and get ready. Sometimes I ride to work with my coworker so
this day they came to pick me up, and our dumb mass is just
realized we could ride into hov Laye on the freeway. So if it's two
people with a car, you could ride in the HOV lane and bypass all
that crazy ass fucking Dallas traffic in the morning. So mind you, all
of my day is already going to shit. Motherfuckers then threw me off my
whole vibe, my whole frequency, and I knew, you know what I'm
saying. But again, when when you when you not in alignment, when
you getting off your path, it's gonna show you every time. It's gonna
show you every time. So I knew being on the phone like that all
night, I was like, I already know you know what I'm saying.
So when I woke up late, whatever, everything just start going left.
So we on the we got on the freeway, we try to hurry up
and getting the HOV lane. This motherfucker missed the fucking end. I was
like, oh my god, already running late for work, stuck in Dallas
traffic. In the back of my mind, I'm like, I was on
the phone all night with this motherfucker. I'm like, and look at how
your day is going. And that's exactly what I mean by you're gonna fuck
around and misshow mark by fucking with a puzzle piece that don't even fit again,
taking that time to self reflect on the progress that I've made moving forward
in life and all that. And that's another thing I kept saying to this
person. I'm like, leave me alone. No pause. Now I'll be
telling my homegirls when they dudes be trying to mess with them still and I'd
be like, girl, he ain't gonna leave you alone. You gotta leave
him alone. But you know whatever, So I'm just like, leave me
alone. You know what I'm saying, Like, why won't you leave me
alone? And that's the thing. So that's my thing with the situation is
like a mother is a very weird situation because I feel like the person acts
like they don't really want me. It's such a weird energy for them to
act like they don't want me, but deep down, you really do want
me, you know what I'm saying. And that's what I'm trying to explain
to you. I'm like, you won't leave me alone. I'm like,
I have not contacted you. You have been contacted me for months, No
response all type of you know what I'm saying, Why won't you leave me
alone? If you really don't even want me? You just want the access.
You like the control, You like the you know what I'm saying,
You like what I do for you, like you like the feeling that I
give you, not physically but that too. But you know what I'm saying,
But you just like what I give to you. And in this situation,
though, I just feel like I don't get nothing back. You know
what I'm saying, I don't get nothing back. As much as I give
to you and like pouring to you and nurture you and build you up,
I don't get that in return. And that's what you understand, Like you
gotta take a really deep look at your situations, your relationships, like what's
happening here. So that was That was pretty much my night, my day.
I didn't get a lot of sleep. Uh. Like I said,
this shit was going on to the wee hours in the morning, and uh,
I probably took a cat nap and then I'm like, fuck, I
gotta go record today. I was excited about coming to record, but I
was like damn. And then I didn't think the nail shop was gonna be
open. I didn't think I was gonna be able to get my lashes done.
I was just gonna come in here, bear face natural, which would
have been cool, but it was just like I was worried about that.
Excuse me. But everything worked out. Everything worked out. And I also
just believe that I'm I'm a very big inspiration for people. I just want
to say that. So this here is one of my journals. Uh this
I started writing in this about probably like six months ago. This page here
is talking about wisdom, knowledge and understanding and all of that. I was
taking notes from this book that I was reading. I don't remember what book
it was. All of this is just talking about like action is what produces
results. That's what is going to you know, create success in your life.
You are the one who decides how to feel and how to act based
on the way that you choose to perceive life. Nothing has meaning except the
meaning that we give it. Know your outcome, define what you want to
take action blase blah, So a lot of good things. Oh remember I
was talking about that belief. It was given like the keys to success.
So passion, belief, the belief about what you are and what you can
be, determine what you will be, change your belief so that they support
you. So I gotta get rid of the self sabotage and the negative self
talk. But what I really wanted to show y'all on here is and this
is why I'm proud of myself again. This all just goes into the new
year. So let's see. I happened to pull this out a couple of
days ago. This was my six month plan. This was from December eighteenth,
twenty twenty three to June eighteenth, twenty twenty four. I wrote a
oh wait, no, this is no, that's the new one. I'm
sorry, that's my new plan. Wait, let's go back. Where's the
old plan? Was it in the other book? Oh, I'm about to
be pissed. I think it's in the other book. It is, Damn,
it's in the other book. So I had a six month plan,
but I checked off I don't wanna say a lot of things, but I
checked off. I checked off a very good number of things on there.
So I remember. The first thing that was on there was like book a
one way ticket flight to Dallas. It was supposed to be like moving my
son to Dallas. Find a yoga job here, and I taught three classes
at North No Sanctuary. Here it said get a regular job. I did
that as soon as I got off the plane. It did say all money
in. I'm pretty sure Nipsey Hustle is not happy with me with me because
it has not been all money in. It's been a lot of money out.
But I'm working. That's something that I have to work on. What
else did it say on there? I don't know. Find a gym,
find yoga friends. I didn't find everything on there, but the point was
like I checked a lot of things off of my list on my six month
play and so I made another six month plan for December to June. I
got where I want to move to, what kind of place I want to
live in, what kind of car I want to drive, building my yoga
clientel, teaching classes, creating events. You know, my content, praying
and meditating daily, yoga, daily workout. Gotta stick to that. Getting
back to tyroo on astrology, reading daily, eating healthy. Saving five bands
is on my list, and I was very proud of the money that I
saved, so that was another thing too. So I ain't gonna lie.
I am not a very financially responsible person, like that's something that I really
have to work on. But I was very proud of myself for the amount
of money that I saved when I got here. However, I didn't end
up getting to use the money on what I planned on using it for,
but I was glad that I said the buddy and was able to use it
in my time of need, which ended up for me feeling like a financial
setback after I had to use the money for what I had to use it
for. But I was proud of myself. So now I feel like I'm
back to square one a little bit, you know. But nigga, you
you saved the money one time, you could do it again, so whatever
payback thoughts who helped me? And I have three individuals on here that I
really want to look out for. When I get like a lum sum of
money luxury experiences only monetizes on YouTube and I'm motherfucking shopping spree because I deserve
it. I'll be doing my three six nine method manifestation on here, and
this time I'll be switching up every day and do something different. Uh what
else? What else? More? Three six nine three six nine d so
yeah, all of that good shit. What else? It was something else
that I was just about to touch on when I was reading in the journal.
Oh so another thing. Let me see y'all. Took a screenshot of
this because it really made me think about it. I was a little sad,
A little sad got out of my feelings a little bit. I had
read something on Instagram that said, no one knows how much you suffered this
year, but you stayed strong and didn't quit. You literally did your best.
Be proud of yourself for passing your hardest moments alone while everyone believed you
were fine, and never stop pushing to be the best you could be.
Keep blowing. And I was thinking about this today when I was at the
nail shop and get my nails done, because even though I said like I
wasn't really disappointed myself, there was a split second that I was kind of
beating up on myself for my whole New Year's extravaganza shit. But it was
just like I had to dig a little deeper with that on why. I
feel like, you know, you got those moments when you relapse to things
or go back to certain things or situations or whatever, and it's just like,
I don't think a lot of people know like and I don't. I
feel like I don't really share this. And it's so funny because a lot
of my family, I feel like a lot of my family members every day,
well not every day, but I feel like, as of recently,
a lot of my family be like, oh, hey, just checking on
you, haven't heard from you or since Sometimes, like my family be hitting
me up in a group chat, and I just don't even be responding because
I just I don't have the energy to engage with people and shit like that,
because I just be feeling like I got a lot going on, and
you know, I wear it very well, you know what I'm saying.
And so when I was at the NL shop, one of the things I
was thinking about was like, I don't think a lot of people understand how
lonely this journey. First of all, a spiritual journey is a lonely ass
journey when you the black sheep of the family, when you on a different
path, got different beliefs. Being an entrepreneur is a lonely journey. But
this situation in particular, like relocating to another state, and again, no,
I'm not over this shit, not like I feel like I'm over it,
but in a way not really because relocating to a new place and kind
of feeling a bandit from a situation, you know what I'm saying, Like
even though I've still been making it and was able to pick up the pieces
and keep moving like nothing ever happened, it's been a very lonely journey,
you know what I'm saying, and the shit that I've went through during that
time. So again it to me, I felt abandoned in that situation.
I really felt betrayed when all of that happened. And then a turnaround to
have to deal with a whole situation, like a whole legal battle, a
whole custody battle, Like I didn't really want to speak on that before.
But that's over now and I'm happy with the outcome. But you know what
I'm saying, to even I share a lot about that with somebody, you
know what I'm saying. I shared a lot about that shity situation with somebody,
And to know, like you know what I'm saying, I came out
here trying to you know, get myself together or whatever, and so for
that situation to kind of backfire on me and like go in a whole different
direction, and that was a lot to deal with. And again to feel
abandoned and be basically by yourself here like this shit be lonely as hell,
like it be a lot to deal with. I don't just be like crying
my eyes out and no shit like that, but it that shit definitely took
a toll on me, like being here like a lot of day like that
situation, the whole custody shit that I was going through, being in a
toxic work environment, just trying to make it on a day to day basis,
Like it be a lot to try to really keep shit together. It's
like, damn, you know what I'm saying, And I got I don't
even want to say a handful of homegirls. I want to say like two
maybe three home girls that I talked to, but and it's cool. They
are all very supportive, always had my back, always there. But even
that just kind of get old sometime, Like you know what I'm saying,
I literally have nobody here. Every holiday I've had to fucking work. I
be by myself. People like what you moving for the holidays? Nothing?
I don't have no fucking family here. I'm here by myself. You know
what I'm saying, So it gets very lonely. And then to have to
go through shit by yourself and keep it fucking trucking, keep it fucking moving,
keep fucking smiling, keep a positive mindset, keep your mental stability,
keep waking up every day like it's a fucking lot, bro. And then
to be away from your kid. That's very hard for a mother, you
know it. It may not be hard for a daddy. It may be
hard for some of y'all. I don't know, but I'm just saying like
it's different as a mother, it's very different, you know what I'm saying,
regardless of trying to get your shit together like that shit is very fucking
hard. It's very hard. So it'd be a lot of mixed emotions and
be a lot of shit going on. And so, you know, I
was just thinking about that, like a lot of people don't know, like
the silent battles that I, you know, deal with on a daily basis,
and people always feel like I'm the strong friend. People just never feel
like, you know what I'm saying, I'm not that person that people hit
up and be like, oh are you good? Like cause I gotta be
everybody else's therapist. I gotta be there for everybody else. So you know,
I don't really get that a lot, and when I do, I
appreciate it. But it's just like people be going through their hardest moments,
you know, on motherfucking death row bother, jump off that bitch and you
will never even fucking know. But I'm good and I'm proud of myself.
What else? Okay, so we could get into the we can get into
the New Year's Eve questions. I guess I think we can get into the
New Years Eve questions. Let's see what we got. I found this online.
I actually ordered these little like car, these like shadow work cars that
I found on TikTok, and I thought I was gonna have them today,
but they didn't come in the mail yet. So maybe on the next episode
and we could dive deep into that up. These questions spark lively discussions and
reflections, creating a memorable celebration as people share their hopes, dreams, resolutions
for the upcoming New year. You're ready for meaningful conversations and yeah yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah. This not only encourages reflection
and goal setting, but also provides a wonderful keepsake to look back on in
future years. A New Year's interview is a tradition where you ask whoever as
a way of reflecting on the past year and looking forward to the new one.
So it says that you should consider writing down your answers or if you
are brave, recording them on video or audio on New Year's and you know,
look back at them, uh, you know, the next year or
whatever, and just see how much your own thoughts change from year to year.
So let's start a new tradition here. So I'm gonna pick out whatever
ones I think are good ones. Let's see your number one goal for next
year. My number one goal for next year, well for twenty twenty four
is to get myself established own place on car. Another very important goal of
mine is to become very disciplined. That's something that I really need to work
on, is my discipline. And I feel like I really admire people.
Like when you look at places like fitness centers or gyms, all them mopfuckers
be disciplined, they all be in shape. You could tell they get up
at six am, I eat my breakfast, I do this, I work
out, But you could tell you could tell when a person got disciplined in
their life. You can tell it's just a different it's just a different aura
about them. It's a different you know what I'm saying. It's just a
different way that they carry theyselves. You know I kind of I probably come
off real, real, calm, cool, collected, just whatever, and
the cut. I gotta get on my discipline. The biggest lesson that I
learned this year, it's so hard straight off the dome. The biggest lesson
that I learned this year. I'm trying to see if I wrote anything now.
I thought I wrote something down for this. No, okay, the
biggest lesson that I learned this year, and going back to the New Year's
Eve situation, I think, don't don't continuously repeat lessons, especially when you
know the outcome. You know what I'm saying. Stop making yourself have to
go through shit over and over again, like you know what I'm saying.
Even though I said, like I had that little moment of clarity like oh
you know, or it was like a reminder to me, Why the fuck
do you need a reminder? Bro? When are you gonna learn something to
move the fuck on? So yeah, stop stop repeating lessons. The biggest
risks that I took this year hopping on that motherfucker one way flight and uh,
you know, and the whole situation with my son, like that was
a really big risk and it got a little got a little hectic, it
got a little dirty in the ring. But like I said, the outcome
turned out to be what I wanted it to be a way that I grew
emotionally this year. I think I grew a lot emotionally, and just how
I was just saying that, Like, uh, I was proud of myself
in that conversation that I was having about just really you know, just being
very verbal and just very straightforth about like this is not what I want.
I know that this is not what you want. You know, I know
what I deserve. I know, like you know what I'm saying, like
really just laying that shit out, like bro. And that's the thing I
hate when niggas feel like like, cause niggas like to play mind games and
niggas like the gas light and do all that bullshit and act like they don't
be doing what they be doing. And it's like, bro, I already
fucking know you know what I'm saying. And it's just like, let's just
I don't understand why people just don't want to have real last conversations about what
shit is. But it really be the other people that be dealing with shit
that you know what I'm saying, and they try to project or they it
just be a whole bunch of bullshit in the game, and it's like,
let's just really have a realize conversation about what shit is. You know what
I'm saying. You don't have to and that's the thing. You do.
Not have to play games with me. You ain't got a lot to me.
I may not like the truth, but we could just keep it a
hunted, we could keep it a butt. But uh so, Yeah,
I feel like I grew emotionally by learning to speak up for myself. I
really feel like I'm my wanting done shit, you know what I'm saying,
like, and I'm really I'm really heavy on the red flax this time around.
Like you know, it was a dude that was, you know,
showing some type of interest in me, and like it was just like it
was cool at first, but then it was like, bro, you a
you ain't really on that, you know what I'm saying, like I'm starting
to it was a little shit he was doing. I was starting to keep
the red flag. So I'm like, I'm straight something you want to do
the same next year? What do I want to do the same in twenty
twenty four? Uh? I want to keep doing the podcast. I want
to keep being consistent with it. Uh. The best advice that I received
this year, y'all motherfuckers, don't be giving me no fucking advice. Nobody
knows anything except me. It's like, nah, I'm trying to think who's
giving me advice? Uh, I ain't gonna know. One of the best
advice givers in my circle is one of my bff's, Jazlyn Panda. Uh.
She it's nothing like in my mind that sticks out, but she's just
like i'd be telling her, like you should have a fucking podcast, you
should be a motherfucking motive speaker. Like she's really like a big sister to
me. Because anything that I ever experienced, like she's like Jazmine, I've
been there before, I already went through this. I got this is how
I got through it. I remember when I was there, I remember when
Xyz and like she's just a very like inspirational and motivational person for me,
and she like she is the voice of reason for me, and that's crazy
because I always have to be that for other people. So I really appreciate
that from her. A new skill that I want to learn this year,
I would just say, cook, okay, and I don't need none of
y'all motherfuckers on my head, niggas like, oh that's why you ain't got
no man. Bitches be cooking for niggas and still get cheated on. So
whatever, I like to go out to eat, but we'll throw cooking on
there. Something you want to do for someone next year, something that,
like I said, I had that written down in the book, the three
people that I wanted to repay for really like you know, helping me and
looking out for me during my time here. So I want to give back
and look out. My number one goal for twenty twenty four I want the
motherfucking pot. My number one goal is to transition out of working a nine
to five into being a full time entrepreneur with yoga. In the podcast,
like, I really want this to be my thing. I want this to
be my thing. I want this to be number one. I want this
to be my bread and butter. I want this to be my life,
Like that's my number one goal. Something you want to do differently in twenty
twenty four. I want to move smarter. I want to uh, I
want to make better decisions financially. I want to I just want to be
better, you know what I'm saying. I want to keep I want to
keep becoming the best version of myself because I feel like I get complacent a
lot just in life here, like if you not pressing to be better.
And that's why, Like, routine is very important in situations like that,
whether it be with your health and your fitness, because that helps your mentality,
but it also helps you physically. But just having a routine and whatever.
Like again, that discipline is very important for me. My word for
next year or what's a good word for me for twenty twenty four, I
don't know. I'm gonna just say blessed, Okay, blessed and highly favored.
A place that I want to visit. Some places on my list are
Aruba, Egypt. Let me see somewhere in the States that I want to
go. I want to go to New York. What a New York niggas
here? No like I gotta give me a Harlem nigga or a I feel
like I fuck with a Harlem nigga or man. I don't know. I
don't know what the Bronx has or Queens Southside Jamaica Queen, I don't know.
I want to go to New York though. An unexpected joy this past
year. An unexpected joy, I'll say yoga, And that was one of
my greatest accomplishments. I'm pretty sure that's on here. One new thing that
I tried this year, ba I tried fun first of all, one of
my favorite things. Like I I have a serious obsession for watching like muck
bang videos. I will sit and watch motherfuckers eat on TikTok all day long.
That shit is so weird and every time I do it as soon as
I ain't gonna lie that day, that night I got sick and I had
the stomach flu. I had had wing Stop that day, and I'm not
fucking a wing Stop no more. But Wingstop definitely had me in the chunkhoult
too. But I tried fud this year, like the little ramen, the
noodles and all of that shit, and I just put all the hot shit
in it, like the chili oil, the h what else did I put
in their fucking siracha? It was, it was decent I had. I
think it was the beef and unexpected obstacle this year, everything that I went
through in Dallas, shit with my baby daddy. Uh yeah, all of
that unexpected as fucked. The biggest thing that I learned, The biggest thing
that I learned is it's so crazy coming up with this off the top of
the dumb it's on the spot. Uh, the biggest thing that I learned.
What have you learned, Jasmin? What have you learned? That life
is a never like it's a never ending process of learning, you know what
I'm saying. So just like again taking it back to the nail shop.
But for that split second when I kind of was beating up on on myself
about the situation, is like, Jazzmin, all of the situations in your
life that appear as obstacles are just opportunities for growth, opportunities for change,
for you to become better. All of the bullshit that you went through since
you been here, you know whatever, Look where you at now. Look
at the self reflection, Look at the growth, look at the progress,
Look at the woman that you are, look at the woman you're becoming,
Like I love this for me, But you got And that's the thing,
Like you will ask God or the universe for strength and all of that.
Okay, motherfucker, you gonna get these battles though, you don't get some
tough times. You gonna get some rain, you gonna get some bo you
know what I'm saying. In order, But that's the thing. And a
lot of people feel like a sense of shame or embarrassment about the things that
they go through in life. And shout out to old girl that picked me
up last night, my uh uber driver and I told her to I had
her subscribe to the podcast, so hopefully she watches this video. But she
was actually young. I think she said she was twenty four or something like
that. She was super mature though, and I could just tell from her
conversation, and she was just telling me that she had been through so much
in life, and I was like, I could tell, but just the
way that she carried herself in her conversation, like it's just beautiful to witness,
you know what I'm saying. So never be ashamed of the things that
you experience or go through because that's what makes you who you are. And
don't nobody give a fuck about the motherfucker that I want to play perfect Patty
on Instagram period. Three words to describe twenty twenty three, Uh, I
would say eye opening, eye opening, empowering, and I don't know,
unexpected. I guess something that made you belly laugh. Uh shit, just
me being delusional and like, you know what I'm saying. But I'm a
lover girl, I'm a pisces like, so you know that shit made me
laugh at myself. But the best movie that I watched in twenty twenty three,
I don't even be watching shit like that. I definitely don't go to
the fucking movies. I did go to the movies, and guess what,
we had fell asleep in that bitch as soon as we got there. We
went to see The Equalizer. Baby, Well, I'll tell you we had
fell asleep as soon as we got in the movie. But the best I'm
not the best movie that I watched last year. Shit, I'll be watching
movies on TV and shit, the biggest problem that I solved this year.
Still solving them, bitches, Still solving them, bitches. Uh, but
okay, like the whole situation with my my legal battle, my custody battle.
That really took a lot out of me, and it also solved a
lot for me because I always felt like, and I know, motherfuckers is
not gonna agree with me or be mad that I'm saying this. But like
for women, again, you gotta be careful in relationships because men be one
control in every aspect, every aspect, whether it be financially through children,
through telling you what the fuck to wear or what to do. Like you
know, like men really want to control you, and it could manifest in
many different ways. And for years I always felt like my parents, my
co parents in situation was a form of control. You know what I'm saying,
in a way to keep me down, a way to keep a person's
eye on me or keep their foot on my neck, or you know what
I'm saying. And you know, you can feel however you feel about that,
but that's how I feel. And so you know, the scariest part
about me going through the legal battle of that was the way that I left
and the way that the narrative was being painted of me as a parent and
as a mother, And I was like, E don't you know what I'm
saying. I didn't know how that was gonna work out for me, but
like I said, the outcome ended up being what I wanted it to be.
But I feel like now that that situation is done and overWe and like
you know, we got the shit on paper about how shit is supposed to
be. I feel like I could kind of close that chapter life and I
feel like I could move how I want to move without feeling like I'm being
controlled. So the best day of the year in twenty twenty three, I
would say my birthday was a really good day. I had taught a class
on my yoga class on my birthday, I had went to the SPA that
day. I had just treated myself that day. I was really happy and
fulfilled that day. Another good day of twenty twenty three was when I graduated
yoga teacher training. Again. I was very just proud of myself for how
fast like I had went through the training process and became a certified teacher.
That was a really good day. The funniest thing that happened to me in
twenty twenty three, Um, it's five point fifty five. What's the funniest
thing that happened to me five is symbolic of conflict though, so probably the
bullshit that I were. I hate to keep bringing it back to all of
the same shit, but that shit was. It wasn't funny then, but
it's funny now. I could look back and laugh at all the things that
I've been through since I've been here. What was the highlight of twenty twenty
three for me? Shit, just getting the fuck on. I think when
you see people talk about, like move away from your hometown, like I
do, feel like that's one of the best things to do. Like,
I really just could not see myself living in Detroit for the rest of my
life. I don't. I don't have any desire to be there. I
think it's good to move, relocate, new scenery, new vibe, new
people, new opportunities, you know, new everything. So that was the
highlight for me. What's the most important lesson that I've learned in twenty twenty
three? Things don't always work out the way that you plan or expect them
to. You know, shit, things rarely ever work out how you expect
them to. Uh. I think one of the best like quotes is when
they say, like, uh, tell God your plans and he'll laugh or
whatever, like maybe don't tell God your plans. He'll be like, put
them bitches down, cause that's not how it's going. No, that's not
what we're doing. I got this whole shit, or your whole shit was
already predestined. It was already your day, So put your fucking plans up.
And that's so funny because to a certain extent, I do feel like
you have to plan, you know, your life or whatever. But I'll
be in the middle of like planning your life and going with the flow,
cause it's it. Man. I'm more on the going with the flow side,
though, I ain't gonna lie. If you could sum up your year
in one word, what would it be and why? I don't fucking know.
Just crazy. It's like surprise, Like, yeah, what's your favorite
New Year's Eve tradition? It's kissing out of the mist sometime? Is that
Christmas Verus at New Year's Eve? I don't know. I didn't kiss nobody
under the mistletone, but I don't know. I guess that would be it.
I don't know what else. You're supposed to eat black eyed peas for
good luck and graze for money. We was doing that shit for years and
it never really happened. So maybe we should think of something new to do.
If you could change one thing about the past year, what would it
be? I don't know. That's so hard to say, because it's like
even with life period, would you really change anything like, because then everything
would be different, Everything would be totally different. And not to say this,
I hate to use this as an example, but I do think about
this sometimes, Like if I would have never had a kid at twenty one,
what would my life had look like? You know what I'm saying,
Like life would have been totally different. I don't know. If I could
change one thing about the past year, though, what would it be?
I don't know. Or even still, something else that I think about or
that I have thought about recently, was like when I first got here,
I had two jobs, right, I had got two jobs, and I
was working at another hotel too, a very nice hotel. The vibes was
better, They treated they employees way better, fed them full of course gourmet
meals every day. I should have stayed in that bitch, But I was
thinking like if I would have stayed working there, you know, like I
ended up getting cool with a coworker and staying with my coworker, you know
what I'm saying after my situation. So it's like, where would I been
saying if I worked at the other hotel, Like who was I gonna link
up with on some you know what I'm saying, Like, I don't know,
but everything would have been different. So I don't know. I don't
know what I would change about the past year. What would I change?
Uh? Sit Uh? But then I wouldn't be here. But one thing
that I will say is just like as much that I invested in that whole
situation, Uh, when niggas was in jail and shit like I just cause
you know, I feel like it went like unnoticed and unappreciated. So you
know, when a nigga was to jail, I could have been like,
hey, hit me when you get out and we'll see who won't reconvene.
But again, she could have been totally different. What's your biggest goal for
the upcoming year? I told y'all to make This Bitch the number one podcast
in the motherfucking world, So please subscribe. As you're watching this video,
please like the video, Post This Bitch on your Instagram, send it to
your girlfriends, your friends. Uh, who has been your biggest inspiration this
year? Excuse me, that's a good question. Who's been my biggest inspiration?
Who inspires your girl? I ain't gonna lie. I can't inspire and
people be home on people like y'all just listen to shit on Instagram and run
with it and be living y'all life based off Instagram called but them Instagram memes,
be hitting them, bitches, be fire, so it Instagram be my
biggest inspiration. I follow like a lot of inspirational pages, a lot of
like astrology pages and shit, just like that shit that I read to y'all
earlier. Like, I think one of my biggest inspirations are people that are
like just authentically being themselves and with what they share on Instagram. I feel
like everybody wants to be like an influencer now and everything is so like,
get ready with me. This is you know, all them type of videos
and shit and everything. And I was watching some little video on TikTok the
other day and it was like, when your friend is an influencer and y'all
just having lunch at the crib and they bring it in, They motherfucking tripod
like, Okay, let's get some laughs and let's do it. Like you
know what I'm saying. I feel like that's how the internet is, so
just when people just again, like a situation like this, somebody sitting here
watching this, Like let me sit here and watching this two hour video,
this girl just talking by her fucking self. You know what I'm saying,
Like that type of shit, What bad habits do you what? What bad
habits do you wish to conquer next year? Get fucking healthy, work fucking
out. Yeah, well those aren't bad habits, but you know the opposite
of those habits, So spending all that money on fucking door, dashing over
eats, and fucking not being active every day again, I'm go'na have to
go back to the braids though, for the yoga, for the hi yoga,
cause you you could not do yoga every day with your hair done like
this. Uh, what is one new skill that you wanna learn? I
said, cook, motherfucking damn. What's the most adventurous thing you did this
past year? I feel like I got I gotta live more life. I
feel like I don't be doing shit. I didn't go fucking skydiving. I
didn't jump off a cliff. I didn't, Uh, I didn't go fucking
swimming with the dolphins, Like I need to live life. What's the most
adventurous thing that I did? Shit, got in the car with a stranger
during a lyft ride. I don't know, Like I don't know. Let's
see, how do you plan to make the next year better than the last
by being better? Doing better? Checking myself again, checking myself, cutting
into myself like Jazmine was on some bulls shit yesterday. Do you want to
change or do you not? Do you want to glow up or not?
Do you want to move forward or not? Do you wanna, you know,
be better? What are your new Year's resolutions? Like I said,
my thing is, I feel like it doesn't matter the day, the time,
whatever, because it's a mindset. So make it up in your mind
that you wanna change or that you want to do something, and take action
on your fucking goals. That's the only way that it's gonna happen. And
understand that every day is not gonna be the same. Every day is not
gonna be easy. Every day you not gonna wanna get up. Some days
you're gonna fuck up. Some days you're gonna feel Some days you're gonna relap,
some days you're gonna call that nigga, some days you're gonna whatever.
You know what I'm saying. Some days you're gonna be toxic. I don't
know. But the point is, you gotta you gotta come back to self.
You gotta center yourself and acknowledge that, Okay, I fucked up.
Whatever. Same same with whatever your new Year's resolutions are. Maybe you said
that you was gonna stop drinking, and you fucking drink yesterday. You know
what I'm saying, Like, Okay, it's a new day, start over
again. Period. Every day that you wake up is a chance to change,
a chance to do better. So yes, what else? Share a
moment from the past year that made you laugh a lout? These are like
the same fucking questions. I don't know, what are you most grateful for
from the past year? Just my my community, my tribe, the people
that have showed up for me since I've been here again, like literally people
that I don't even know, like really helping me and really you know,
just being a great form or source of support for me. Again, ask
me where I want to travel to? I said, what places. What
was your most significant achievement this past year again yoga shit, becoming a certified
yoga teacher, teaching my class the three classes that I saw here in Dallas.
What was your biggest challenge and how did it make you stronger? I
hate to keep bringing up the same situations, but just again, just the
shit that I've been through since I've been here, because like those was really
curve balls in the game. I never could have expected it or planned for
shit to happen that way. You know what I'm saying. I was able
to pivot and just keep on fucking moving. Uh, these are the same
questions. What unexpected life lessons did you encounter again? Whatever, same fucking
questions. Okay, what is something that I'm looking forward to in the coming
year? More money? More? It's like, no, no, but
more money, y'all know, I'm whatever, girl, I gonna lie like
I don't even know. I don't even really know what I want for real.
Some days I feel like I'm just gonna be a single, successful entrepreneur
and just travel the world and me and my best friend is gonna be going
to islands and whatever and living our best life. And then some days I'm
like, I want a husband and I really want to be in love and
all of that, and I don't know, but whatever whatever's to come,
I don't fucking know. Let's see, before I bring off the tarrot cards,
it's the first that dumba wake up, wake up, wake up.
It's the first that dumb get up, get up, get up. Good
rent new rent, rent rent. Now it is the person. Oh,
I had some I don't think I wrote anything down for that, though I
put down new first, Like, what are some what are some first that
I want to do in twenty twenty four? Uh, I don't know.
Some first, I do want to do something crazy, like I want to
take a trip out of the country, but I want to do something like
I want to do some scary shit like to overcome a fear like bungee jump,
jump out a plane, or do some like I feel like I gotta
do some shit like that to just get my adrenaline up and just you know,
start checking some fears off my fucking bucket list. First first, what
else? I don't know? First, I don't know. I don't know,
Okay, but we can get into Oh I do wanna like go well,
I wanna host one too. I'm wanna go on a Willness like retreat,
but I also wanna host a Willness retreat and the yoga retreat and employ
my best friends so she could do the massages and I could do the yoga,
and we could just be out on this bitch doing whatever. I feel
like it's still kind of early to be going through the cards, So like,
am I about to give you all a full blown reading in this bitch?
I don't really know. Should I pour cards like for each sign?
What do y'all want me to do? What do y'all want me to do?
I'm gonna just pull cards for the collective. In regards to the new
year, what can we look forward to? What to expect? What are
the vibes for twenty twenty four? Walk this double card keep popping out on
the bottom. It's the toxicity trying to be in the room with me right
now. Get away from me, Get away from me. The double card
is Capricorn energy, though, but get away from me. Stop trying to
hang on to my coattails. Stop trying to hang on to my energy,
stop trying to Okay, the three pinnacles popped out, So what we need
to look forward to in the new year of twenty twenty four is community.
We need to look forward to collaboration, cooperation, working together with others,
getting to the money, getting to the bag, putting our resources and our
ideas together. Teamwork makes the motherfucking dream work. So if you are for
self, fuck out the way, bro, cause how are we gonna grow?
How are we gonna be better? When you only worried about your motherfuck
itself, When you only worried about your motherfuck itself? Five of swords?
You can't Okay, we don't need no snakes in our circle. We don't
need nobody that's trying to undercut the group, trying to be on some bullshit.
Okay, look at him down, down down. They turned around.
They don't see me walking away with these swords. Get your fucking man,
get your scamming ass on. So beware of the people in your circle.
Is the vibes for twenty twenty four. Beware of the people in your circle,
the people talking shit about you behind your back. You see how they
turned around, and beware that people talking behind your back. To a sorts,
You're gonna have to evaluate the relationships in your life in twenty twenty four.
What was I just talking about about like that self reflection and really,
like you know, is this in alignment with me? Is this in alignment
with my path, with my purpose where I'm going? Is this in alignment
with my progress? Is this what I want? You know what I'm saying.
You gotta have those real ass conversations with yourself. You have to make
the decision. Is this bettering me? Or is it hindering me? Are
we building or are we bullshitting? Get them snow about your circle? Okay,
because when you move on, ain't gonna be sad about it? Maybe
when you move When you move on, when you move forward to clearer,
calmer waters, when you start to see shit for what it is that you're
doing better in life. When you're moving forward, motherfucker's is gonna be mad
as hell. Motherfucker's is gonna be in regret. Damn, I should have
I should have. I should have cherished what I had, I should have
valued what I had. This bitch is moving on without You're right? What
are the vibes for twenty twenty four? What are the vibes for? What
are the vibes for twenty twenty four? Okay? Okay, it's giving manifestation
vibes the magician car and the four of Swords, so it's giving big manifestation
vibes. It's giving sleep on it, giving sleep on it. And that's
how you know, that's that's that's a super spiritual thing. Like when people
say, like, I gotta sleep on it, because you gotta take that
shit to the spirit realm. You gotta, you know, you gotta let
it sizzle in your spirit off or night. You gotta you gotta think about
it, you gotta dream about it. You gotta see what comes to you.
But also understand that you are the magician. You are a master manifestor.
You can create whatever it is that you want for yourself, for your
life, whatever you desire. You have all of the tools inside of you.
And I feel like a lot of times we look at our circumstances in
life or whatever, and it's like, how am I gonna do this?
How I'm gonna come up with this? Like you were blessed with the God
given tools, and maybe you need to sleep on it. Maybe you need
to take some time, Maybe you need to journ, Maybe you need to
journal and start making a plan. Maybe you need to do your three sixty
nine method manifest Maybe you need to make your six month plan, maybe you
need to write. Okay, because what did y'all do last night for New
Year's Eve? What did y'all do for New Year's Eve? You know,
I didn't have no plans. And that was the thing too. I had
looked into a couple places here, like I wanted to go to like a
yoga studio and go to like a meditation, like a sound bowl meditation all
that. I ain't gonna lie. I didn't feel like paying like they was
kind of they wasn't taxing like that, but I ain't gonna lie. I
was just like, I don't I didn't want to pay for it. I
ain't gonna lie. Uh So I didn't go. But that's that's more on
my vibe, you know what I'm saying? Vision board type thing. A
couple of years ago, before I deleted all my old YouTube videos, I
had did a podcast episode with Asia and JB and like or was it just
no? That one was just with Asia and we was working on a vision
board that was for twenty twenty one. Yeah, So what did y'all do
for New Year's Eve? Did y'all go out, y'all would watch the ball
drop, y'all got drunk as fuck. You was in the club and in
the move buying bottles? Was you at home in the And that's the thing,
Like I'm at the age too, Like I'm at that auntie age.
I'm thirty three. I will be thirty four next year. Just period like
New Year's Eve. It was just giving staying a career for me, like
really like be on some chill shit. I wasn't trying to go out and
that's on the regular. I don't go out to the club, so I
don't hang out like like I want to be at the crib on chill.
I could do a little kickback, but I'll be on my chill shit.
So wo nine enough cups Because what we were just talking about met manifestation.
This is what you get. This is what you get when you're consistent,
when you write down the things that you desire, the things that you want,
the things that you see that nine of cups that wish for field.
You have to speak those things into existence. You gotta write that shit down
on paper with a pen and watch it get real. Like I said,
when I did my little my last six month plan. I didn't cross everything
off that was on the list, but a lot of those things happened.
A lot of those a lot. I've made a lot of shit happen.
Like the very first thing on the list was one way ticket to Dallas.
That shit is crazy. I moved from Detroit. Uh, this was my
third time, so like that's very big to be, Like, Hey,
I'm about to just hop on a plane and just do it. You know
what I'm saying. But that's what you gotta do. You gotta be willing
to take them. Chances, Chances make champions period. Okay, ooh,
because justice will be served. We got the Tennisaurs, the Queeniswords, and
the justice car it is given. Your haters gonna hide a day, Okay,
they gonna get chewed the fuck out by whoever, whether that be you,
the universe. They gonna get they karma, you know what I'm saying.
And justice will be served again. We were talking about community and watching
offer the people in your circle, like keep being you, keep being the
good spirit that you are, keep being the good person that you are,
and you are going to reap what you saw, period. You know what
I'm saying. And that's the thing. Watch them the seeds that you saw
in this lifetime, because baby, the harvest is gonna go. The Tower
card, the Tower card, the Tower card is get over here energy.
It's like, I'm about to burn this bitch to the ground because you.
And that's the thing I was. It was one of the New Year's Eve
questions. But it's like, what was the question one of your greatest lessons
that that would have been a good answer, stop staying in situations. But
okay, well I said, stop repeating lessons, but stop staying in situations
longer than you need to. Stop ending up in situations where the universe gotta
burn the whole motherfucking tower down and you running trying to get out of that
bitch, Like, bro, we gave you the signs to get the fuck
out out, so now we now we forcibly got to remove you from the
situation like that is the worst. That is the fucking worst. And I've
been there in life, like you don't want to have to be forced forcibly
removed from a situation. Nine of Pinnacles, High Priestess and the King of
Wands. So it's given. You know your power, you know your confidence.
You know. Okay, it's given me energy. Period, it's given
me energy of getting to the bag. Let me see you, you gotta
go off how you feel, bro, you gotta go off your intuition again
with evaluating the situations, the relationships, the people in your life, the
the way that you want to move, the path that you want to take
in your life. If you're on a spiritual path, whatever, just whatever,
Like only you know the way to your role. You know what I'm
saying. Nobody else can tell you that. Nobody, nobody knows what's best
for you. You gotta have the confidence the intuition to see it through.
You gotta have the resources. You gotta plant those seats to get whatever it
is that you want to get. So twenty twenty four, it's gonna be
a great year. And you know, motherfuckers be mad. Like so I'm
saying, your year, your year. This my bitch, it is my
year. Every year is my year. Oh okay, every year is my
year. Period. I just wanna. I wish I had some other cars.
See, I gotta bring all my other cars. But I'm gonna just
pull it one just cause I want to know what it's gonna say. About
love for me, I just want some other I just what's in the cards
for me? Where is my man? My man, my man. We
could do it for the collective, but it's for me. But who are
doing for the collective? I just want one card to tell me what twenty
twenty four holls for me in love? One card. We're not gonna take
all of those. I like how people be shuffling on TikTok and shit,
I'm not that great of a shuffler. And forgive my little, my little
congestion that I got going on Page of pinnacles. I'm looking like that because
page is kiddish energy. It's not a bad thing, but page energy is
like very childish. But page energy is also like messages. This is also
an opportunity somebody could be coming through with, like Okay, maybe it's gonna
come through on a business tip at first, like hey, I got an
idea, I got I got this going on. I can help you with
your stuff whatever. You know what I'm saying. And we plant the seeds
like that, so you know, I'm all for I'm all for it.
I'm off for the growth over time. But page energy is you know,
like I said, that'd be. That's the little dog energy. Let's see,
was there anything else in here that I needed to discuss with you guys?
Master in your mind, that's that's the main thing. Mastering your mind
and mastering your emotions is very important, because being a master of your mind
is very important because you could spiral, you can go down a deep dark
hole. You know. We always see people talking about mental health and stuff
like that on the internet, and again, you never know what somebody is
going through, So being a master of your mind is very important. Uh.
You know, I always mentioned like the self sabotage and the negative self
talk with myself, like those are things that I really need to work on
because the mind is a powerful tool, you know, and it's a terrible
thing to waste, especially if you're not using it in the right manner.
So if you are a very negative or pessimistic person, like you know what
I'm saying, shit could go a different way for you. But you got
to learn how to turn it around. And that's why I'm so just adamant
about my morning affirmations every morning and listening to guided meditations and really setting the
because that really sets the tone for my day and It puts me in the
right mind frame. Again. If you go to a motherfucking job that you
hate every day, you're gonna be in that bitch like, oh, these
motherfucking customers. You know what I'm saying, Like, don't go into your
day like that. Don't wake up and you know, speak that negative into
existence. Today is gonna be a great motherfucking day. The work day gonna
go by fast as fuck. You know what I'm saying. Be on your
Jody from baby Boy. What was this? What was he talking about?
Uh? What did he say? I forgot what the fuck he said for
I'm the master of my ability whatever, you know that whole little speech he
did. So being a master of your mind is very important, the master
of your emotions, because baby, crimes of passion are real, and I
would I would never want that to be me, you know what I'm saying.
I always talk about that on the podcast too, about how like I
always used to say, like I, you know, I wish that I
could be a person that was just real rye rah and just whatever, Like
I do not want to be a hot head. I do not want to
lose or risk my freedom or do some dumb shit in the heat of the
moment because of my emotion. Emotions are fleeting. Woman at you happy women
that you said woman and you up, women that you down. You know
what I'm saying. Shit changes, and you gotta be able to sit with
that. You gotta be able to deal with that. You gotta be able
to process that. How many people are in jail or that motherfucker made me
mad? I killed it, like what you killed somebody because you know,
like and again, those are forms of control. That's how somebody know they
got you, baby. If somebody can get if somebody got that mind control
over debo, if somebody got you know, if somebody can get you off
your square by fucking with you emotionally, you know what I'm saying, Like,
that's a lot of control. That's a lot of power to have.
And I want to maintain my shit. I want to be a master of
my shit, my mind and my emotions. So that's very fucking important.
Let me see if there is anything else that I have for you, guys.
A couple of text messages in here, Happy New Year, family,
Get take me out the fucking group chat, guys. Please don't even send
me. Don't send me Holiday text messages the Merry Christmas, Happy Thanksgiving,
Happy New Year, like bro, same to you. Move the fuck on.
I don't I hate it. I fucking hate it. M but send
me all the happy birthday texts. It's niggas in my DM. Happy New
ye bro, Happy New Year. Thanks, thanks guys, thanks uh niggas
on my head in the DM. Thank you. I know I look good.
I know, I know, I know, but no, so yeah,
I think I think that's it for me. I'm wrapping this up a
little bit early, but yeah, that's pretty much it for me. As
you can see, like I sound very congested on this fucking episode. I
hope a bitch get better asap. I've been taking fucking been adrill at night.
I don't really do shit but put you to fucking sleep. And I'm
angry. I've been hangry since I got here. So I'm gonna wrap it.
But yes, guys, that that's it for me and my New Years.
I hope that y'all had a wonderful New Year's Eve New Year's Day.
I'm off work again tomorrow. I don't know what the fuck I'll be doing
tomorrow, Probably just chill. I'll be chilling on my off days for real,
I'm gonna go home today and do do a little more journaling. I'm
gonna try to like just really my my focus is to get my money plans
together and my saving and like what I'm really trying, like what Jazine,
we need? We need to get this shit, you know what I'm saying.
I'm trying to have some shit to show for myself. So those are
really my goals for the new year. And again, not worrying about how
often you fuck up. If you fuck up, what when we're like every
day is a new fucking day. And even if you fuck up right now,
if you sit here and you acknowledge that in the moment, then okay,
keep it fucking pushing, keep going. I fucked up. Oh well,
So that is all that I have for y'all. Make sure that y'all
follow me on all platforms, Healing my homies on Instagram, black Girl Experience
on TikTok, and YouTube. That is all I have for y'all. Hope
y'all enjoyed this happy New Year.