WEBVTT 1 00:00:01.199 --> 00:00:06.719 Hey, hey, I'm back. Oh, yes, with something for you 2 00:00:08.199 --> 00:00:20.399 to think about. Nothing changes until you choose you. Let me say it 3 00:00:20.440 --> 00:00:31.920 again, nothing changes until you choose you. Many people in this world are 4 00:00:32.039 --> 00:00:44.920 choosing everything and everyone other than self. Many people. I've told you many 5 00:00:44.920 --> 00:00:52.679 times on my episodes, how people are putting everyone in everything before self. 6 00:00:52.960 --> 00:01:02.399 Because that person that people ignore ain't neglect the most it is self. It's 7 00:01:02.439 --> 00:01:07.959 a fact, it is seen. There is evidence in how people choose to 8 00:01:08.040 --> 00:01:15.680 live their lives. Nothing is going to change, nothing until you choose you, 9 00:01:17.079 --> 00:01:23.680 until you matter in your own life. Many people, they get into 10 00:01:23.760 --> 00:01:33.680 relationships based solely on how they feel, how they feel about the person, 11 00:01:34.120 --> 00:01:40.879 and not what the person is doing to them, how the person is treating 12 00:01:40.920 --> 00:01:44.680 them. It is solely based on I love him, I love her. 13 00:01:45.319 --> 00:01:52.400 They make me feel good, they look good. You can't see the truth 14 00:01:52.799 --> 00:02:00.799 until you choose you. When you choose you, your eyes open. It's 15 00:02:00.840 --> 00:02:12.800 the truth. You cannot see the truth until you choose you. So many 16 00:02:12.879 --> 00:02:23.080 people are in unhealthy relationships, completely miserable, sad, crying their eyes out 17 00:02:23.080 --> 00:02:35.120 every day because they have not yet chold self. Your mindset cannot change if 18 00:02:35.120 --> 00:02:42.360 you don't choose change. You will continue to get into relationships, you'll bad 19 00:02:42.400 --> 00:02:46.840 relationships. You will continue to go back to bad relationships that you got out 20 00:02:46.879 --> 00:02:53.400 of. You will continue to believe that you're the problem, which you are. 21 00:02:55.439 --> 00:03:01.800 But most times in relationships, when you're in those one sided relationships, 22 00:03:05.120 --> 00:03:09.280 it's the other person. They're treating you the way they treat you because you 23 00:03:09.400 --> 00:03:15.000 left them. So you are a problem in that sense, but you're not 24 00:03:15.039 --> 00:03:20.319 the reason a person cheats. You're not the reason people make the choices they 25 00:03:20.360 --> 00:03:23.199 make. They make them because of what's inside of them, the same reason 26 00:03:23.360 --> 00:03:31.400 you choose to put up with it. Your life will not change until you 27 00:03:31.759 --> 00:03:38.639 choose you. How many people have you heard about, or you may even 28 00:03:38.680 --> 00:03:46.400 know, who got into relationships and just gave everything to that relationship, lost 29 00:03:46.560 --> 00:03:52.479 a sense of who they were. Their path was the same path as their 30 00:03:52.560 --> 00:04:00.680 significant other, who was not reciprocating anything. They were just receiving They wasn't 31 00:04:00.719 --> 00:04:08.039 reciprocating anything. How many people you know or have heard of who got into 32 00:04:08.080 --> 00:04:15.360 relationships with these types of people and they're miserable and they finally finally decide enough 33 00:04:15.479 --> 00:04:24.319 is enough. Their eyes open and they say, finally I found myself. 34 00:04:25.360 --> 00:04:31.959 I finally loved me. I love my life. I want to make a 35 00:04:32.000 --> 00:04:38.160 difference for myself. Plenty of people wake up and get to that point. 36 00:04:41.680 --> 00:04:45.560 I've told you so many times, and I'll take it to the graves. 37 00:04:46.439 --> 00:04:49.639 People treat you how you have taught them to treat you. They treat you 38 00:04:49.920 --> 00:04:58.160 exactly how you allow, no matter what it is, and really no matter 39 00:04:58.160 --> 00:05:03.199 who it is. We've seen it with parents, children, friends, family 40 00:05:03.240 --> 00:05:10.079 members, other people. They treat you how you allow. So many of 41 00:05:10.120 --> 00:05:19.040 you are intoxic relationships. Allowing that toxicity. You're allowing it because you cannot 42 00:05:19.160 --> 00:05:26.160 see the real deal. You can't see beyond your feelings. You want your 43 00:05:26.199 --> 00:05:33.399 desires to the truth. Until you choose you, things remain the same. 44 00:05:34.199 --> 00:05:42.800 No change can occur until you make change happening. You have to want it. 45 00:05:42.800 --> 00:05:46.959 It's not gonna happen on its own. I've told you also before. 46 00:05:47.720 --> 00:05:54.240 So many people are worried about their significant others. Oh he's doing this or 47 00:05:54.279 --> 00:06:00.000 she's doing this. Yeah, they're doing exactly what you let them do. 48 00:06:02.000 --> 00:06:06.519 They bring in chaos and drama into your life because you open yourself up to 49 00:06:06.639 --> 00:06:14.480 it. No one can hurt you unless you give them power to hurt you. 50 00:06:16.720 --> 00:06:21.759 Munsters are created in your life because you create them. You create them 51 00:06:21.759 --> 00:06:26.519 when you let your significant other do whatever they want to do to you, 52 00:06:26.920 --> 00:06:30.800 talk to you, any kind of way, whatever it is, you create 53 00:06:30.879 --> 00:06:35.079 that munster. How many times do I have to say it before people understand 54 00:06:35.120 --> 00:06:43.040 what I'm saying. Whatever you let a person get away with, you're creating 55 00:06:43.079 --> 00:06:50.879 a monster. Change will not occur in your life if you don't embrace change 56 00:06:51.079 --> 00:06:58.800 and make change happen. Too many of you are looking for your significant others 57 00:06:58.800 --> 00:07:03.319 to change. When I've said many times, you are the one who needs 58 00:07:03.360 --> 00:07:09.399 to change because your significant other may never change. You certainly won't change him 59 00:07:09.480 --> 00:07:15.360 or her. So it is you who needs to change. When you change, 60 00:07:15.680 --> 00:07:23.519 you change your situation. When you change, that means your mindset changes 61 00:07:25.160 --> 00:07:33.399 and ultimately your life. Too many people looking for their significant others to change. 62 00:07:33.519 --> 00:07:36.920 Oh, he needs to change. He needs to change this. He 63 00:07:38.000 --> 00:07:42.000 needs to change that. She needs to change this, she needs to change 64 00:07:42.040 --> 00:07:46.040 that. No, you need to change because when you change, you won't 65 00:07:46.040 --> 00:07:53.399 put up with the crap that they're doing. Some of you cannot move forward 66 00:07:53.439 --> 00:07:59.399 in life because you're holding on into negativity. You can't let go because you're 67 00:07:59.439 --> 00:08:07.120 holding onto the negativity. You're giving power to it. You're giving power to 68 00:08:07.199 --> 00:08:16.439 that negativity that's holding you down mentally. Some of you physically, you're emotionally 69 00:08:16.519 --> 00:08:20.160 tore up. Some of you are tore up physically. You're tore up mentally 70 00:08:20.439 --> 00:08:28.279 because all of the mental stress have turned into mental illnesses. You wasn't born 71 00:08:28.439 --> 00:08:33.360 that way. You wasn't born with those mental illnesses. You develop those things. 72 00:08:33.600 --> 00:08:39.960 Most mental illnesses people develop over time through trauma, bad experiences, and 73 00:08:39.159 --> 00:08:46.200 things of that nature. They develop mental stress that's so heavy that it turns 74 00:08:46.200 --> 00:08:52.480 into mental illness. Everybody, everybody, Oh I got this, I got 75 00:08:52.480 --> 00:08:58.679 that, just labeling themselves with all types of mental illnesses. Oh I have 76 00:08:58.840 --> 00:09:05.679 this, I have that, and a badge of honor or something. You 77 00:09:05.720 --> 00:09:11.440 hold that in. You gravitate towards that negativity. You allow it in your 78 00:09:11.480 --> 00:09:15.559 life, You label yourselves. You believe that. Some of you use it 79 00:09:15.759 --> 00:09:20.799 as a crutch. Some of you use it as a way to get sympathy 80 00:09:20.879 --> 00:09:26.200 from others. You can never grow like that. You keep bringing it up. 81 00:09:26.240 --> 00:09:31.399 I have this, I have that. You keep bringing it up because 82 00:09:31.480 --> 00:09:37.200 it's a crutch in your life. Some of you you feel that's the only 83 00:09:37.279 --> 00:09:41.840 way you're gonna get attention. But you're holding yourself back. When you label 84 00:09:41.960 --> 00:09:52.240 yourself and you embrace that label, you're holding yourself back. Just like many 85 00:09:52.240 --> 00:09:56.320 of you in your relationships, you allowing your significant other to pull you down 86 00:09:56.960 --> 00:10:03.200 with them. I just recently did an episode. If your life isn't better 87 00:10:03.320 --> 00:10:13.120 with them, you sure don't need them. Because people should come into your 88 00:10:13.159 --> 00:10:18.879 life and make your life better. Your significant other should enhance your life, 89 00:10:18.919 --> 00:10:24.559 compliment and not make it worse. But too many people are settling for making 90 00:10:24.600 --> 00:10:33.399 it worse, and I mean they really, really, really give everything to 91 00:10:33.559 --> 00:10:45.759 that relationship. That's horrible. I mean, you cannot ever grow and become 92 00:10:45.799 --> 00:10:54.320 the best you that you can be if you continue to hold on to all 93 00:10:54.360 --> 00:11:03.600 of the negativity that has bound you, all the negativity that has caused you 94 00:11:03.039 --> 00:11:09.879 a life of dysfunction. You can never ever grow and be the best you 95 00:11:09.039 --> 00:11:18.440 possible. When you do not implement change in your life, you just won't. 96 00:11:20.639 --> 00:11:28.799 And sadly, so many people around the world have allowed their significant others 97 00:11:28.840 --> 00:11:37.639 to totally reak having in their lives. So many people, so many people, 98 00:11:39.440 --> 00:11:48.600 and it's all because people are not given time to figure it out self. 99 00:11:48.000 --> 00:11:58.360 Knowing self, loving self, getting past their pains, and it's really 100 00:11:58.399 --> 00:12:07.440 really awful, But most people live their lives this way. You can't become 101 00:12:07.519 --> 00:12:13.799 better by remaining the same. No one can. And if you go through 102 00:12:13.840 --> 00:12:18.600 life giving all your power to your significant other thinking they're the best thing for 103 00:12:18.639 --> 00:12:26.240 you, when they're clearly the worst, your life is never gonna get better. 104 00:12:28.919 --> 00:12:35.919 It will never get better until you choose you, until you make your 105 00:12:35.960 --> 00:12:41.799 life imported, until you matter to yourself. You have to choose you. 106 00:12:43.639 --> 00:12:46.960 If you don't choose you, why do you think he or she should choose 107 00:12:46.960 --> 00:12:52.639 you? Why should you should should they feel you matter to them when you 108 00:12:52.639 --> 00:13:05.320 don't matter to yourself. I'll venture to say most people don't even know who 109 00:13:05.399 --> 00:13:13.480 they are as individuals. They don't know self. And that's that's a sad 110 00:13:13.559 --> 00:13:18.000 truth. It's a hard peal of swallow, but it's the truth. You 111 00:13:18.039 --> 00:13:30.600 don't know yourself. You never try to become better because people, as I 112 00:13:30.720 --> 00:13:41.960 said, they adapt to the behavior that they've always had. They adapt to 113 00:13:41.039 --> 00:13:46.120 it, and that's how they live their life. They live their lives the 114 00:13:46.240 --> 00:13:56.080 same way, cycles going through the same exact experiences for a lifetime, for 115 00:13:56.440 --> 00:14:05.320 a lifetime. That maladaptive behavior that they're accustomed to, they're comfortable with. 116 00:14:07.000 --> 00:14:13.200 You choose individuals to love who are like you because they don't know what love 117 00:14:13.440 --> 00:14:18.799 is. Either you don't they don't. So you go through life choosing people 118 00:14:18.840 --> 00:14:28.320 who are similar to you with the same mindset I told you several episodes. 119 00:14:28.679 --> 00:14:33.519 You're either the prey or the predator. If you do not heal from your 120 00:14:33.600 --> 00:14:37.559 past pains, if you do not learn who you are, you learn to 121 00:14:37.600 --> 00:14:43.639 love yourself, fix what's broken inside of you, you will always either be 122 00:14:43.759 --> 00:14:50.840 the prey or the predator. Some people are both. They're the prey and 123 00:14:52.039 --> 00:15:03.279 they're the predator. You get into these relationships really seeking love, really with 124 00:15:03.480 --> 00:15:11.159 everything. You give all of yourself to your significant others, but you don't 125 00:15:11.120 --> 00:15:20.200 know who you are. You allow your past pains to sabotage your life, 126 00:15:20.840 --> 00:15:30.559 sabotage your potential for good, wholesome relationships because you don't love yourself. Until 127 00:15:30.639 --> 00:15:39.240 you choose you, your life remains the same. And that's for anyone, 128 00:15:39.960 --> 00:15:43.240 anyone. It does not matter who you are or who you think you are. 129 00:15:45.399 --> 00:15:48.679 Until you choose you, your life remains the same. And we see 130 00:15:48.720 --> 00:15:54.200 it, we see the evidence of it in how people just relationship hop the 131 00:15:54.360 --> 00:16:07.320 rich and the poor, relationship hop in relationship with terrible people terrible. Everybody 132 00:16:07.399 --> 00:16:11.879 knows he treats you wrong, everybody knows she treats you wrong. But you're 133 00:16:11.919 --> 00:16:18.039 still there taking it because that's what you become comfortable with. You're so comfortable 134 00:16:18.159 --> 00:16:27.440 with the uncomfortable. You're so comfortable with the abnormal because to you, you're 135 00:16:27.480 --> 00:16:37.559 so comfortable, it appears normal to you. And the bottom line is people 136 00:16:37.600 --> 00:16:41.039 treat you how you let them. You teach them how to treat you. 137 00:16:44.360 --> 00:16:48.960 People want to go off on individual saying well, he shouldn't have done this, 138 00:16:49.320 --> 00:16:52.080 he shouldn't have done that, or she shouldn't have done this, she 139 00:16:52.080 --> 00:16:57.759 shouldn't have done it. They've done exactly what they were allowed to do exactly. 140 00:17:00.720 --> 00:17:04.200 That's what people do. Whatever you let them get away with, that's 141 00:17:04.240 --> 00:17:11.240 what they'll do to you. Until you choose you, your life will remain 142 00:17:11.319 --> 00:17:22.319 the same. People are always talking about social media. Social media have done 143 00:17:22.359 --> 00:17:27.279 this to people. Social social media have not done anything to people. People 144 00:17:27.319 --> 00:17:34.839 have done it to themselves. Social media only affects you according to how you 145 00:17:36.000 --> 00:17:41.119 let it, and that is done because of what's inside of people. That's 146 00:17:41.119 --> 00:17:45.519 how people respond to social media. It's how people respond to others according to 147 00:17:45.599 --> 00:17:52.640 what's inside of self. Yes, some social media's great, some social media's 148 00:17:52.759 --> 00:18:04.079 horrible, But how it affects you depends on you. Period. You get 149 00:18:04.079 --> 00:18:11.720 into your relationships and no one can tell you anything, no one. You 150 00:18:11.759 --> 00:18:17.400 don't want to listen to everything because you love him so much or you love 151 00:18:17.519 --> 00:18:22.200 her so much. You don't want to listen to anyone about anything. But 152 00:18:22.440 --> 00:18:27.240 you choose according to what's inside of you. You choose according to your mindset. 153 00:18:30.519 --> 00:18:34.200 Because people are blind to the truth, they can't see reality. In 154 00:18:34.359 --> 00:18:40.119 that moment, so many people said, I didn't see the signs, there 155 00:18:40.240 --> 00:18:47.559 was no red flags lies. There are always signs and red flags always, 156 00:18:48.319 --> 00:18:56.440 but you can't see the truth because of what's inside of you. What is 157 00:18:56.480 --> 00:19:02.319 in your mind, what's on your mind, what's in your heart. You 158 00:19:02.440 --> 00:19:11.640 cannot see the truth because you're blind by you're unresolved. All you know is 159 00:19:11.960 --> 00:19:18.519 you want what you want. That's all you know. You can't see anything 160 00:19:18.559 --> 00:19:26.119 else. That's why so many people have lost themselves in their relationships, completely 161 00:19:26.240 --> 00:19:32.519 lost themselves. Everything that they once really wanted to do in life, They 162 00:19:32.559 --> 00:19:40.319 gave it up chasing him or her, that man, that woman. You 163 00:19:40.519 --> 00:19:45.640 used to love certain things, you don't love it anymore because you have opened 164 00:19:45.720 --> 00:19:52.640 yourself up to so much negativity and drama that you've lost sight of the things 165 00:19:52.640 --> 00:20:04.200 you want loved. You have no energy because you put everything into him or 166 00:20:04.240 --> 00:20:12.640 her. You're trying to fight in every way you can think of to hold 167 00:20:14.160 --> 00:20:19.839 the relationship together. When it's a horrible relationship. It makes no sense. 168 00:20:22.119 --> 00:20:26.119 It's no good for you. He's no good for you. She's no good 169 00:20:26.160 --> 00:20:30.799 for you. But you can't see it because you just want what you want. 170 00:20:32.160 --> 00:20:37.640 You're crying your eyes out, you're having physical pain, you developed mental 171 00:20:37.720 --> 00:20:42.359 illnesses, but you still want that man, you still want that woman. 172 00:20:42.640 --> 00:20:48.799 Because of your unresolved inside of you causes you to have insecurities, lack of 173 00:20:48.839 --> 00:20:55.160 confidence, lack of self esteem. You think you're the worst of the worst 174 00:20:56.279 --> 00:21:03.839 because of what's inside of you. Until you choose you, your life remains 175 00:21:03.880 --> 00:21:11.039 the same. You continue that vicious cycle. People continue to mistreat you because 176 00:21:11.039 --> 00:21:18.160 you open yourself up to it. Your significant others totally take you for granted, 177 00:21:18.440 --> 00:21:22.240 abuse, you mistreat you, just do you wrong, but you still 178 00:21:22.279 --> 00:21:34.119 want them because of what's inside of you until you choose you. You'll keep 179 00:21:34.160 --> 00:21:41.359 taking what you've been taking until you choose you. You will continue to go 180 00:21:41.440 --> 00:21:48.839 along with any and everything. Until you choose you. You won't be able 181 00:21:48.880 --> 00:21:56.519 to see the signs. You won't acknowledge them until you choose you. Your 182 00:21:56.599 --> 00:22:03.880 significant other will always be the person that you think is the greatest thing, 183 00:22:03.400 --> 00:22:10.200 when in reality they're the worst. They're the worst for you, but you 184 00:22:10.279 --> 00:22:14.480 can't see it because you want what you want. You feel what you feel, 185 00:22:15.480 --> 00:22:23.240 You desire what you desire, even though it's all wrong, just complete 186 00:22:23.400 --> 00:22:29.319 toxicity, but you want it. You still want it. It's negative as 187 00:22:29.400 --> 00:22:32.400 negative can be, but you still want it. Come on, now, 188 00:22:33.400 --> 00:22:38.160 come on. You know it makes no sense. You know it makes no 189 00:22:38.200 --> 00:22:45.559 sense to be with a person who's treating you wrong in any way. It 190 00:22:45.599 --> 00:22:52.240 makes no sense, you think, being with someone who is causing pure havoc 191 00:22:52.279 --> 00:22:57.359 in your life. Every day you're just full of anxiety. Some of you 192 00:22:57.440 --> 00:23:07.640 don't want to go home. You do everything to prolong going home. You 193 00:23:07.759 --> 00:23:14.920 think that's good, but you're so comfortable with it until it's just second nature 194 00:23:14.960 --> 00:23:21.440 to you to be a mist that mess a second nature. So so many 195 00:23:21.440 --> 00:23:27.000 people in life all over the world are just totally settling, and they're totally 196 00:23:29.039 --> 00:23:36.359 putting themselves in situations that they shouldn't be in because they have yet to choose 197 00:23:36.359 --> 00:23:48.640 yourself, having grown mentally, having matured mentally, Because they've not ever made 198 00:23:48.680 --> 00:23:55.440 a decision to choose self. You have not dealt with your unresolved. If 199 00:23:55.440 --> 00:23:59.519 you haven't dealt with your unresolved, you're still plagued by all of those things 200 00:23:59.559 --> 00:24:06.599 that you've through, anger, bitterness, all types of negativity. You haven't 201 00:24:06.680 --> 00:24:11.599 chosen yourself. If you're letting a man or woman treat you any kind of 202 00:24:11.640 --> 00:24:15.799 way, you haven't chosen yourself. If you haven't chosen yourself, you certainly 203 00:24:15.880 --> 00:24:25.079 don't love yourself. But this is the situation for many people, and I 204 00:24:25.160 --> 00:24:29.000 wanted to bring it to your awareness so you can really, really, really 205 00:24:29.000 --> 00:24:33.920 really really think about what I'm saying. Just think about your life. You 206 00:24:33.960 --> 00:24:37.240 don't have to lie to me, you don't have to tell me anything. 207 00:24:37.720 --> 00:24:42.039 You do it for yourself. Think about your life, what you're involved in 208 00:24:42.279 --> 00:24:47.799 right now as I speak, Who you're involved in, what you're allowing and 209 00:24:47.880 --> 00:24:53.079 accepting if it's crap. You don't love yourself because you haven't chose you yet, 210 00:24:56.039 --> 00:25:00.960 So that's all I'm gonna say. I've said at what I said. 211 00:25:00.440 --> 00:25:04.480 I stand on what I said. If anyone want to talk about it, 212 00:25:06.039 --> 00:25:08.720 go to my podcast page. It'll tell you how to reach me. I 213 00:25:08.920 --> 00:25:18.279 always respond, we can talk about it anytime. Thank you for listening. 214 00:25:18.799 --> 00:25:26.480 Please help me share this episode. I want you to also continue to share 215 00:25:26.599 --> 00:25:32.160 my podcast, Relatable Life Chronicles, because it have stuff on there for everyone. 216 00:25:32.799 --> 00:25:38.359 I talk about parenting, I talk about what's going on in the world 217 00:25:38.400 --> 00:25:45.160 today, I talk about abuse. I talk about all types of real life 218 00:25:45.200 --> 00:25:51.240 issues on my podcast Relatable Life Chronicles, So please listen and please share. 219 00:25:51.720 --> 00:25:56.160 Thank you again. Much love to each and every one of you, from 220 00:25:56.200 --> 00:26:00.039 my heart to yours. Thank you for listening. Please share MHM. I 221 00:26:00.279 --> 00:26:10.000 end every episode the same and I pray that you do it, think on it.