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Deborah, with her thirty years of
being an entrepreneur and creating over seven companies,

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knows exactly what it means to accept
the mission. When you make that

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decision, when you accept the mission
to become a solopreneur, to take yourself

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and your talents to market, then
you embrace a life of not only unlimited

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possibilities, but also the unknown.
It's an elixir of fear and bravery that

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only someone who's taken the leap really
understands. On our show, deb digs

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deep with her guests to highlight what
you the listener wants to know, the

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stories, the whys, and the
hows to navigate the journey to success.

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Get ready to hear from some of
the most incredible mission takers from Generation Z

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to boomers. So sit up,
perk up, and get ready to be

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blown away. Now here is your
host, Deborah Drummond. Welcome to Mission

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Accepted. Thank you so much for
coming back. And you have not been

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following the journey that we have been
taking. Mission Accepted and Barbara Franson are

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taking a journey to transform you into
having an experience of joy like you've never

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experienced. And we are uncovering,
explaining, and moving through this incredible transformation.

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The reason why is because when you
take on a mission, stuff won't

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happen. Mostly you're gonna meet you. That's what happens. You're gonna meet

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you. I'm in a relationship with
you right now. You're in a relationship

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with me. Thank you for coming
on to the show. And our relationship

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is boundary list because we are sharing
the inspiration and the motivation and really just

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that stuff that makes things happen.
And that's what happens on the Mission Accepted

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podcast show, you know, because
you come back every week and guess what,

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so do I we have a relationship, we have an agreement. I

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show up, you show up,
I'm me, You're you. Those are

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called media boundaries. And I'm just
making this stuff off the top of my

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head because I am so excited because
you know what boundaries is something that I

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personally full transparency, had to learn
about. I don't know, I don't

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know where you were. I don't
know. I watched you know, I

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watched my daughter, you know,
you know, be the parent to her

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daughter. And I see this whole
experience of boundaries and whatever, and I'm

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like, well, isn't that interesting
that the evolution of how we learn and

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how it passes on to other generations. But that just wasn't a generation that

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I, you know, I was
raised in. I didn't understand boundaries and

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I didn't go and look and discover
them until I was in so much pain

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of people crossing mine. And then
I had to realize I let them cross

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mine because I didn't know that I
was supposed to have any And so I

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just love what we're going to be
talking about today. So Barbara Franks and

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motivational speaker, this woman plane,
trains and automobiles herself all over given the

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word, don't expect a PowerPoint because
you're not going to get one. Don't

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pull out your laptop right now and
start writing. You better get a pen

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and paper because she's gonna nail it
down until you do. And she is

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going to share with you in this
journey of turning your pain and to passion

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and how you can take that and
just move your own internal mountains, and

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if you choose and share it too, you can move others. Thank you,

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Barbarke for coming onto the show today. I'm still looking forward to that.

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Thank you, Thank you for having
me. Oh Man Boundaries one of

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my topics that I love and the
reason why I love it. It took

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me a long time in my life
to understand boundaries or to create it.

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I had to go back, you
know. I always go back and revisit,

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you know, to see what I've
missed. And one of the things

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I remember hearing all the time from
my mom, children ought to be seen

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and not heard heard, And I
said what And I wasn't allowed to speak

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right, And a lot of times
when we're not allowed to speak, there's

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things that we need to share,
things that are happening that we need to

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tell people about what. So it
affected me, you know, and if

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you don't know better, then you
do the same thing. So remember one

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of the things that I always say
is this is that you have to go

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back to your childhood because when you've
tried, especially in a marriage, when

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you try to put two different households, because that's what you're doing, you're

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putting two different households. So they
were One believes in this type of punishment.

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This one says, no, I
don't believe in punishment. I believe

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in this linc His punishment just are
And then one believes in putting the ketchup

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in the cupboard and the other one
believes in the refrigerator, or one has

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miracle weapon, the other one says, no, it's a helmet. So

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right, So you so I had
to really go back there. And then

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I said, wait a second,
how did my treatment of me? How

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did I learn how to treat me
by how the adults treated me? Right?

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So, verbal abuse, mental abuse, and physical abuse. Right,

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So what that kind of does is
That's why I said, we go back.

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But then I realized all those pain
areas is for a purpose as long

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as we look at them with different
eyes. And when you're growing, that's

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why you read books, y'all.
I'm a true believer in read stuff wherever

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you want to go, read it, read it. I don't believe in

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that. Oh fake it till you
make it. No, no, no,

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read Whatever you read you can become
because you're downloading it. You're downloading

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it. You didn't even know it
existed. One of the things that I've

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done, And it's so funny that
we're talking about reading. I volunteer every

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Monday. I go in into the
inner city and I read with a young

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lady. And when I first started, she's only seven, And I said,

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what do you want to be when
you grow up? I'm going someplace

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with this, and she said,
I want to be a mother, and

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I said, you know you can
be more than that, right, So

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we're going to fast forward. That's
where she was This Monday was my last

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time, so I remember this one
clearly, and when I went back,

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I said to her, And she
always pretends she doesn't like me, but

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I know she likes me. So
when I went back this time, I

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said to her, you know it's
our last time together. And she said

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really, And I said, but
I thought you didn't like me. You're

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okay. Let's talk about reading.
She now wants to be a doctor.

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Why do you like to read?
Because it gives me wisdom, it puts

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me into a different world. My
gosh, she's seven and I only spent

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the school time with her. And
one of the reasons why I do that

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is, I said, I always
want to remember where I came from.

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And that's why I do revisit to
say what are my lasts? Because I

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know I didn't go through all of
that for nothing, and I refuse to

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let that pain just hit me and
I don't take it and make it something

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good. Right, So it was
important for me to go with the younger

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kids. And then after I said
to him, she's in second grade.

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I said, do you have the
program for third grade? He goes yeah.

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I said, I want to be
assigned to her. Yeah, because

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I want her to see right,
I want her to learn boundaries at seven

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and eight years old. And what
boundaries is this? You teach people how

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to treat you respectful of time.
When I have programs, I let them

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know it starts on the hour.
If you're not there, I'm talking.

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I am talking because I show up
at least by minutes early to see if

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there's any type of technical issues,
especially now if we're doing it that way.

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So my thing was, I remember
someone I jumped off of a zoom

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call. After five minutes. She
said, BARBARAE, I came there at

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eight o six. I go,
I was going at eight o five.

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She goes, what boundaries? I
don't care what color you are. I

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don't care how much money you have. I don't care what language you speak.

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We only get twenty four hours.
I can't say, oh, Jake,

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I'd like to buy an hour for
five cents or two vowels. No,

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we only have twenty four hours,
and everyone's time is valuable. And

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do you know why I know that
because mine is. So if I book

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something out, I've booked something out. This phone right here, do not

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disturb. That means I'm busy,
Barbara. Why are you always want to

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do not to stir? Maybe because
I'm always busy. That's what happens when

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you find enjoy. And it's funny
because I've had one of one of the

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things that I've done to is is
because like I said, I come from

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humbly beginnings. I had foster daughters, and it was funny when we were

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setting up appointment, they go,
nope, uh, you can't be on

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her. No one controls her calendar
but her. They learned that, and

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and and and that's what I'm saying. You teach it from younger. How

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do you learn what do you mean
you waited for him for an hour at

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the restaurant? Are you kidding?
Next time he's gonna let you wait an

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hour and a half. Don't you
create the boundaries. I had a best

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friend, a male that said to
me when I was dat, he said

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men. I don't know if it's
women, but he was talking for all

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men. So I'm not taking I'm
just quoting another man, and he said,

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men find time for things and people
who are important to them. So

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don't ever believe I'm busy. I
learned that from him. Boundaries. So

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we have to create boundaries so people
know, No, you can't be late,

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because then if I'm late for if
I stay for you, then it's

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a Domino's effect for everything in my
life. And that means that I've allowed

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you to make me, my character, my integrity, because now I'm off

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balanced. That is why it's so
much I schedule time with me once again.

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You learn how to do it for
you, you can learn how to

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do it for every and when you're
talking about people, places and things to

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change. When you start changing,
guess what you know. They say.

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There's a saying I love sayings.
They say, if you're the smartest one

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in a room, find a new
room. But I say something else.

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I say, find a room of
where you think your purpose is taking you.

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And when you're in there, you're
like, oh my gosh. People

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think like that. They did that
and do that because before it's just a

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dream or it wasn't even in your
atmosphere. Books introduce you to a new

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world. Come on now. Music
introduces you to new It's a universal language

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everyone. If you're on beat,
you can dance together. And I say

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when I talk to my clients,
we dancing dancing because I'm giving you something.

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You're giving me something bad. Come
on now, we're dancing, right

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people. If people do not add
or multiply, if they do not lift

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you up, but they put you
down and they take away, they subtract,

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they withdraw, and they divide from
your peace. Babe, man,

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you won't know that if you don't
spend some time with you to say,

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why is thing so hectic? What
is going on? My cousin once told

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me givers have to know when to
stop giving, because takers never know when

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to stop taking. Boundaries shirt,
that's a T shirt moment. That's a

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T shirt moment. That's a T
shirt moment because you because the onus is

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on you, this secret moment,
because the onus is on you. It's

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not it's not on takers to learn
to stop taking. If they just this,

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if my boss would just stop putting
things on my desk, if they

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would call me at decent hours,
if they would if they would actually call

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when they say they're gonna call when
you put that they if you take the

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onus on you, it's like there's
no room on my desk for those papers

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because they're still the ones from last
week. So I'll let you know when

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i'm done with that. Oh it's
called overtime. Oh, it's called overtime

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pay. Yes, you know what
I mean. Like the renegotiation, I

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don't think we realized we should renegotiate, or that we can renegotiate or we

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can set new rules with old people. And I think that's why a lot

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of times we don't go into those
next rooms, or sign up for that

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next program, or go by yourself
because these people don't want to go or

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whatever. I think, because we
don't realize. But sometimes when you're at

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the top of your party, you
just forget because you're reading it. You

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forget that there's another group, there's
another this, there's another stage. There's

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and your stage can be anything.
Your stage can be a new job,

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or it can actually be a stage
where we sit there a rock. And

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I just think that people forget they
can renegotiate, particularly with people they've been

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in the dance with for a long
time. Oh, I'll do that with

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my new clients, but I can't
do it with her because I've been coaching

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her for two years and she always
shows up ten minutes late because that's just

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to night. Yeah yeah, yeah, this is how you do it.

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This is how you do it.
Dat you say, all right, I

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got my pen. This is how
you do it. Penn moment, Penn

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moment. Do not hold me in
my past. Mm, don't hold me

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in my in my past because when
you say that, you're freeing yourself.

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And then because I'm not holding me
And that's why I said, people things

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that have to change because people you've
been around the past don't realize I now

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know my value on my work.
I now know my time is valuable and

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it's worthy. So you don't get
to show up ten minutes anymore. Yeah

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I know. And I don't want
extra money because you can't buy my time

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back. Period right. Do not
allow people to keep you in your past,

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because people, especially when you start
growing, because what's going to happen

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is you got a circle, right, and then you start growing and they're

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here, they're like, oh,
you become snotty, you think you're all

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that? Then they start, well, did you see her? Did you

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see you know they start, Look
who does she think? Because they like

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the old person. Do you know
why they like the old person? Because

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the old person didn't know their value, they didn't know their worth. They

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were able to control people, like
control control you. How about that,

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let's start there, control you,
control you. That's why people, places

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and things have to change. But
guess what, when you change, it's

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an automatic because you don't. You're
like, they're still talking about high school.

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I'm how old? Didn't that person
die? What? What is this

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adding to me? It's like they're
speaking a different language? Or I don't

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know my age? Myself again Charlie
brown Man? When when? When?

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Charlie brown is universal and it's never
always always keeps it yet? So then

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the places you can't go there anymore
because guess what, you outgrown it.

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You can't watch all those series anymore. You're too nancy more time. Yeah,

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purpose you don't even like the TVs
there? Let me remember, could

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you clean it when you come in? Because it has Pablo or dust on

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it? Because you're not even there
anymore. Yeah, you are a totally

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different person. And if you don't
recognize that, and you go back and

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you're sitting and having lunch with someone
and they're talking and you're like, I'm

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not even listening. I'm rude.
That's because you're really not there. Yeah,

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because even the conversation is holding you
in your past. And that's what

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we don't understand. Words are powerful, and don't feel bad for wanting more.

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I have on on on my Facebook
tonight. Yeah. Yeah, every

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Tuesday night conversations on becoming dot dot
dot and they go, what's the dot

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dot dot for? I said,
that's the it's always becoming. You're right

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here, go up, you're here, and guess what happens with that?

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Dep You find new rooms, new
people, new talk about fulfilly. Yes,

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yes, everything becomes a T shirt
moment, we're gonna have to go

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into a merchandise business, right,
If we're gonna have to go into a

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merchandise business. I love this because
it's a never ending conversation. I mean,

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all that we've talked about is a
never ending conversation. But there's a

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lot of times like look at when
I did this, stand up, speak

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up and show up. That was
the mandate of my first company. I'm

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seven companies later, and when we
decided to do this, we added the

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YESU and the reason why we added
the YESU is because sometimes we get comfortable

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in our success and we're like,
oh, just let the new ones come

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in and I'll mentor and I'll coach, and it's like, no, get

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on stage, share your wisdom and
maybe shake out some of those cobhead you

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know, those cobwebs you talk about, and you're gonna go to that next

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place. The other one is yes
you in terms of stepping up. The

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first time you know, someone decides
to step up and someone grabs their army,

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they're like me, and you're like, yes you. They're like yeah,

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but me, like, I'm gonna
on stage with her. I'm on

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stage with Barbara. Yeah, yes, you get up here. Because if

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you don't have, if you don't
move yourself to the new rooms, and

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if you don't remind yourself to go
to the new rooms or create in the

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new rooms, it gets like a
very stagnant. And then you don't mean

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to get weak in your boundaries.
You don't mean to get comfortable, you

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don't mean to get compliant, but
the voices can come in and you don't

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pay attention to them as much because
you get kind of groovy. And I

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think it's okay to get successful,
but sometimes we get into a groove of

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success and it's it itself can become
uncomfortable. It can be like and then

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you hear things like is this all
there is? Is this what I wanted?

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This is what it was supposed to
be? You know, And then

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they go see you and they're like, oh that's right, there's more.

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Thank you, becoming becoming, you
always becoming coming. Listen, I'm always

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becoming. Because if you have clients
right and you're taking them to a level,

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and then your lid becomes no always
you are an example. It's like,

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do you have a coach? Absolutely? And you can't afford because I

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know that's what you're gonna say,
how much you pay? And baby if

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you know, because I'm just saying, we're not ready for that yet,

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right, so big girl talk.
So at the end of the day,

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we we turn around and we pull
people. Right. It's called what the

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changing of the guards? Changing the
guards? And I love that, yes

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you, because you know what,
they didn't even feel that they belonged in

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that room. I remember the first
time I decided to step into something and

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and the person in the room says, cheer them and I stood up clapping.

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I was like, oh, they're
clapping for me because I didn't have

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that set and some belonging. I've
walked into rooms that they didn't they didn't

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want me there, and I said, pooh, Now I build my own

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table, I build a chair.
I'm bringing in that door. I walked

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in it. It's my door.
Yeah, that's right. But then you

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turn around and you say, I
will never ever let anyone not have a

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sense of belonging. That's where that
stuff comes. When that pain area,

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you remember that pain area, and
you take that pain area to heal someone

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else. M h, come on
now, it's look, there's so many

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things that are flashing through my mind
that when you talk, and I think

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that anyone listening to our conversation today
is just gonna talk a little louder and

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gonna speak a little stronger when you
talk about that. This is why I'm

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so why I'm so drawn to creating
platforms for people to speak. Because I'm

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in Vancouver. You know, you
could be in Brazil right now, and

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there's some woman in Turkey that needs
to go and ask for some time off,

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and she's scared to walk through the
door. And as she starts to

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turn the handle to her boss's door, she gets a whoosh of energy from

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behind that pushes her through that she
didn't know where it came from. And

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where it came from was from you
saying to a client, I need you

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to show up on time. And
it was from me saying as I walked

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down the street and someone whistled,
don't do that, you know what I

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mean? Like, that's really when
I think about boundaries, I think it

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about it so globally, and I
think about the things that we do different

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now. I was raised in the
same generation children shouldn't be seen and not

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heard, and that's cool and groovy
because a couple generations before that, we

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were going up chimneys and cleaning chimneys
and all that kind of stuff. Right,

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So evolution happens, And I remember
I did something with my kids when

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they were younger. I don't know
where this came from, you know how

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you get those ideas and you don't
know where they came from. I didn't

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read about it in a book.
I just knew that I had been I

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had heard this. I'd heard the
statistic that kids hear something like, you

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know, twenty five thousand no's in
one year or one month or something,

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and they hear twelve yeses. I
mean, it was just so obscure,

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right, And I thought, well, there's got to be something because I

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didn't live in an abundant mindset.
Children. You know, money doesn't grow

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on trees and blah blah blah,
keep on funny, and I, you

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know, I had to go through
my personal you know, rebuild of my

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philosophy around the relationship with abundance.
And I thought, okay, now,

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look at I did not have the
money to do this. Straight up.

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I did not have the money and
I didn't even know if I had the

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bravery. But I told my kids
and I said, okay, every once

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in a while, and I probably
did it about three times a year.

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I said we're going to have a
yes day and they're like, what's it.

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I mean, I literally sat them
down and I found it. We're

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going to have a yes day.
And they're like, what does that mean

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that? I said, that means
from the moment you wake up to the

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moment you go to sleep, whatever
you ask of me, I can't say

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no, woo, I know,
can you Can you feel the money draining

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from my account as we say that, right, I haven't even had a

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house. My kids would have taken
my house. I didn't even know what

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I was saying, but it was
very interesting that, you know. And

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even though they were raised in a
the world is abundant and you can do

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what you want and blah blah blah, they didn't even know what to do

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with They're like really, I'm like, yeah, let's do it. And

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I'll tell you. My daughter is
thirty, my son's nineteen. I started

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it when you know, my daughter
was probably four or something. I've never

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had the bank break. I can
tell you that that day always included shopping.

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And when it went from shopping at
the Gap to shopping at the Apple

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Store, I got to tell you
I was shaking a little bit in my

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boots, you know, from from
Please Mom to Victoria's Secret. I was

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like, okay, here we go, right. But never was it an

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uncomfortable experience for me. But I
always thought I can either pay now or

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pay later. Yeah, I can
pay now. Just teaching them that the

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world is abundant and you can have
what you ask for, and that sometimes

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when you ask, you get a
resounding yes. Right. I don't know

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why I'm telling you about that story
and relationship to boundaries. But I think

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it's about allowing ourselves to expand allowing
ourselves to have, allowing ourselves to be

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and being okay in that space,
asking and deserving and juicy. But part

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of boundaries is saying unapologically yes,
that's a boundary, yes to me,

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and knowing you all right? And
as Robin Armson and Peloton says, and

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a boundary is sexy is she says, and boundaries as sexy as she's like,

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put a boundary on it. Yeah, guess what when you put a

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boundary on it, you say,
my goodness, I have arrived to know

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what my value and my worth is. When you did that little going that

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00:26:03.119 --> 00:26:08.400
exercise with you, I was right
there with you because it took a lot

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for me to speak up. Especially
I was in a male dominated role at

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my job, and I remember I
had to bring in some trainees and I

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told them, I have to tell
you what my biggest fear is. And

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I told them being a black female
and being expected to you know, it

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was a very hard thing for me
in a white male dominated area, right,

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So I had to But the way
that I was thinking it is I

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am not only speaking for me.
I am not only standing up for me.

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I am not only showing up for
me. I'm doing it for every

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woman. And until all women are
free, none of us is free.

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Sam, you might might drop class
because there's gonna be one. There's gonna

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00:27:02.119 --> 00:27:04.240
be one, and it's going to
be next month. Look at so we

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00:27:04.279 --> 00:27:07.319
are going through the transformation. And
if you've been walking through the transformation with

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us, you know you're as excited
about next month as I am. Yes,

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00:27:11.359 --> 00:27:15.599
Barbara, you're dropping the mic in
places that are just covering all like

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if they're just making every part of
my body sing. Look you, guys,

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00:27:18.799 --> 00:27:22.920
you know what to do. Share
the episode, stand up, speak

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00:27:22.000 --> 00:27:25.920
up and show up. Show up
at the stand up, speak up and

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00:27:25.920 --> 00:27:30.160
show up are going on. They're
going on as we speak, and we'll

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00:27:30.200 --> 00:27:33.960
go on all the way till next
year and five years toured after that.

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00:27:34.079 --> 00:27:37.880
So there's no way you can't find
where we are. And if you get

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00:27:37.960 --> 00:27:41.160
lost, you can start at the
hub and that's dev Drummond dot com.

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00:27:41.680 --> 00:27:48.599
Where can they reach you right now, right today. Bfrankspeaks dot com or

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00:27:48.680 --> 00:27:53.000
on Instagram, I am B Frank
or Barbara frankson and guys, look out

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00:27:53.039 --> 00:27:57.279
for me because I have Gifted Warriors
in training a boot camp coming up,

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00:27:57.519 --> 00:28:00.680
and if you don't know how to
do it, I'll show you all right,

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00:28:00.839 --> 00:28:04.359
Gifted Warriors. I love it.
Okay, look you guys. Also,

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they did it tour dot CA.
I got to mention they did it

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00:28:08.119 --> 00:28:11.279
tour. Music is a big part
of my life. It inspires me and

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00:28:11.319 --> 00:28:15.839
motivates me. There's a lot of
good stuff about boundaries and some songs.

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So so go there and really support
the music communities in a little bit of

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pain, you know, and we
need to support that, and we need

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to change the numbers there as well, where ninety percent of them are not

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able to pay their rent, and
so we want that to be different.

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So the way I put it is, every time you've ever heard a song

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and haven't had to pay for it, just take that dollar and just run

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it over there. We'll gladly take
it, and we will we will share

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it out from you, and we
won't even charge any of the back taxes

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00:28:44.039 --> 00:28:47.880
on it. It's all free.
You can hashtag clear your karma of all

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the music you've listened to free.
Let me be that person for you.

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Go on over to they did It
We're going to see you next month.

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Until then, honestly be well and
stay gruby and thank you for being the

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best podcast ever. Set s