I made a decision. Face sunny sun, I had what's up everybody?
Everybody welcome to her crying out loud, it happening. It's a great day.
Happy post Mother's Day, Caitlin. Yeah, Happy happy Mother's Day.
Caitlyn. Send us a nice text yesterday that was very sweet. Well,
I always I always send a text on Sundays to just make sure we're all
good to record, but it was Mother's Day. So he called those bitches,
which I feel like, was it called me? Ah? He called
you a bitch the other day? Uh. John came in the house and
admittedly I was. I was in a slightly irritable mood. So he came
in and as you are as as you do when you're a mom and her
fifties. Hell yeah, And I said, heys it going and he's like
wow, like no insult because normally I greet him with like I flip him
off, or I go with the what's up, asshole, or you know
something like that. And he genuinely was like, oh, what's what's what's
wrong? And I said nothing and he goes, okay, well, just
just no insult at all, And I was like here, so I double
flipped him off. I gave him a double bird and he was like,
Okay, that's better I am, but bam, that's my marriage. Nice.
Let's say hi to our peeps and fuck him, fuck all of them.
Just kidding you guys. See that's that's Stefanie, stinker rinker. Ah
see stinker rinker and one of my strong glasses on. So now I have
to do the thing that you make fun of me for. Jennifer get up,
bitch, and Sarah the fun and Leslie go on around to steroids if
that's what it takes. Alicia from the City of Aaron. What is Amy?
She's the best ever? Oh so cool? Kelly, she's your aunt
Yep, she's Missy and Gabby. Here's a write up on them. I
saw it, Yes, my son brought it to me. Katerina, seriously,
don't eat Jolly Rancher those hard candies. It's not good for your molar.
Valerieats it out of the park, Polly love those pancakes. Athena Ginsherd,
you're great dancing. Yeah, so good, um. Elizabeth Williamson very
good at reproducing hero good at having your kids love them. Must be doing
something right. Rita Rock and all of Elizabeth kids in her bassonet. Jacob
is so Growley. Leslie just accosted somebody outside of Ikia. Now, yeah,
we shouldn't talk about it. You know what she had ad Ashley so
chic, Sandra, it's not easy being green and Christa make me want to
shoot. But how's your mom's day? So good? At a great Mother's
Day. I went over to Robin's house Robin in the morning. So Robin
is she likes to say she's not a go get her like us. She
is, Oh my god, she go get her. Yes, when I
talked, I talked to her sometimes in the morning. And I talked to
her the morning of Mother's Day and she was already she'd already done like I
said, I would bring bagels, right, But had I gone to go
get the bagels? No, it was like nine am. I wasn't due
there till eleven. I'm like, well, right, how do I get
hurt? I gotta so she Meanwhile, she did everything I think she went
to like, um, she went to a bakery and she got all these
goodies and she'd made this egg casserole with egg and cheese and turkey sausage and
then and uh, she had these really good like croissants, and she had
a keish and somebody made a joke because she posted it on the for Crying
Out Loud page and somebody goes, just one keish. I know, no,
I'm never gonna Adam's never gonna let that now he's not um. So
that was super fun. Okay, So then, uh we just hung out.
That's nice. Yeah, we all had We had a rousing conversation.
Robin's son is twenty and his name's Jack now, yeah, and he had
a lot of opinions about that that employers should not um should be allowed to
let people smoke in the workplace if they want to. Oh, that reminds
me. Let me get my vate go I ad it. So we were
arguing. We took this as a debate, speech and debate. I know
he does speech, No, he does debate. So but his debate was
basically just because that's how he feels like. He just feels like freedom so
people can smoke in the workplace. He feels like there are too many regulations
on like employers and if you want to let people smoke at your place to
work, then you should. And if somebody has a problem with it,
go get a different job. Yeah, I kind of with him. Yeah,
there's a lot of regulator. Well, I don't know, I mean,
I don't know about in the workplace. Yeah, you're not gonna And
are we talking about vaping here or smoking cigarettes or both? Because smoking cigarettes
in an indoor Yeah, that's a little can't do that, right, And
he thinks you should be able to. Oh, that's ridiculous. As Kaitlin,
you were young, I grew up where I had the marketing department of
the company I worked for. She was a smoker, and she smoked in
her office, but it didn't bother anybody else. She just her office was
the smoking office. Why can't you just go outside to have a cigarette?
Thank you? I agree? Yeah, Well, I hate smoking and I
don't like I don't like the smell of it, and I don't want I
don't want to breathe it in and I don't want to have to like get
lung cancer because of somebody's say I mean it, Yeah that's how I feel.
So yeah, or go outside, go outside and smoke. In some
places you have to go down the street. You can't smoke out. Oh
that's crazy. But but like it as long as it's not endangering somebody else's
health, Like I don't think you should be allowed to do things in your
workplace, right, But he felt that that's just too much, like why
should you have to have a nonsense? I think I like the fact that
he has an opinion. I think that's having opinions is great. Yeah,
it's just that when we were trying to chat, so you know, John
was trying to challenge his opinion, I was getting fired up too, and
then John was trying to, you know, make it like political, and
he was just like, yeah, I don't know. I'm out of this
argument. He's like, this is how I feel. I don't know.
I'm going out and that person is and John's coming up with well Rand Paul
and Ron Paul and I'm like, now you lost me too. I don't
know who these both of Paul's. Does he smoke her son? No,
he does like cigarettes either. Wow. He just believes in freedom. He's
like, you know, I like where Mel Gibson jib Yeah, yeah,
No. That was super fun. And then we went last night to go
see Um Patton Oswalt and Friends night. How was that? It was really
fun? So we we went to Largo at the Coronet on Lasiannaga and uh
so and Patton was really funny. It was so it was me and John,
Okay, and Sadie and Xander and Elbie were we were all gonna go.
Elbi went to brunch in the morning, but she caught a cold.
She's the last to get the Taylor family called. She really wasn't feeling well.
So she came home and she was trying to rally herself. Yeah,
but you know, it's not fun to like make somebody who's not feeling well,
Like it's like, all right, I didn't know you have a headache,
and I know you feel like you can't breathe, but like, get
your shit together. It's Mother's Day. God damn it, you're coming.
Yeah, and you're gonna have so much fun. What is it. You're
gonna be whistling at it, whistling Dixie out of your asshole. The yeah,
National Lampoon Vacation. Yeah. So I let her stay home. Figure
she did her due diligence by coming with us in the morning. And so
it was me and John and the and the twins, and then it was
Robin and her husband, Wade and Jack. They came and met us,
and we all went and had sushi and then we went to the show.
That's fun. Yeah, there's a picture. I will put it on our
Instagram page so you can all see us together at Largo. And it was
really fun. It was so it. Patton opened the show, and then
this guy named m Lachlin. Have you heard of a comedian named Lachlin something?
Okay Lachlin, And then a guy named Chris Fairbanks, and then a
guy named Ron Funches. They're all funny, I know, we're on.
Yeah, got a very funny voice. It's like very high pitched. Sorry,
yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. And then Patton came
out and did like a long more time and then that was it. That's
fun, that's nice. Yeah. And then I came home and Sadie and
Elbe came into my room and they're like, we got you a bracelet for
we got you something for Mother's Day. And I was like, oh my
gosh, that's so sweet. And they gave me this bracelet and it was
really really pretty. They'd picked it out at the mall. And then they
freaking through Xander under the bus because they're like, Xander wanted to get you
a mug from Spencer's Gifts, which, by the way, bring it.
I love a funny mug. I love a mug, you know. And
Xandrew and they're like, but we talked him out of it. And I'm
like, oh really, And I said, so is this from him too?
And Sadie goes, no, the bracelet, no, so what is
it? What does zand to get you anything? Oh? Oh well,
you know, save your money, Zander. I'm sure he would be devastated
if he even knew. I don't know. I wonder if they snuck if
they were like no ixnay on the mug and and then snuck off and got
me a bracelet and didn't tell her. I went down, but I didn't
want to bring it up right because I didn't want to make him feel I
didn't want to be like, hey, so, um, what happened on
that mug? Idea like that you're did you? I just want to know
what the mug says said, right, I know? But I was like,
how did I get hurt? Why do you to get me a mug?
And Sadie go's mom, we have so many mugs. I'm like,
yeah, because we like mugs. Yeah, think about it? Had Yeah,
but it was a great mother's day. Yeah that's nice, that sounds
good. Yeah, what about you, Well, have you ever played pickleball?
You finally got sucked into pickleball down and Tally was like her best friend
and her best friend's mom. I like, she's she's fine, you know,
and the family's really nice, and she's like the family's gonna go and
they they reserved two courts to go play pickleball, and I was like,
okay, well, but first of all, it wasn't my weekend to be
with the kids, right, So Adam was there so and then they but
they wanted to go to dinner. So we had a place like up the
street that we're going to eat dinner at. Son Italia called the place and
she made reservations, but it wasn't until like seven fifteen, and pickleball was
at two thirty, and I was like, dude. And then I thought
Sonny wanted So I was like, Sunny, what do you think And He's
like, uh, yeah, I could go either way. I thought maybe
he wanted to go and play because I know he likes the family. They
have older brothers and they're fun. So I was like, I think the
I think both of them really want. So I was like, all right,
all right, so I'll pick you guys up at two thirty and we'll
head on over to the pickleball court. Turns out Sonny didn't want to go,
So Sonny sat this one out. Yeah. Oh so he just didn't
go at all, or he just went and then just watched. No,
he didn't go. He was like, i'll see you at dinner. And
I was like, okay, So I pick up Natalia. We go to
the pickle It's one hundred and eighty degrees on the it was so hot and
it wasn't a hot day, but it was hot where we were playing.
I mean it was the sun was beaten down on my baseball hat, like
it was hot, and but I didn't I've never played before. So Natalia
and I are going she's showing me how to play. Meanwhile, they're already
playing with a couple other families. I'm like, hi everybody, and so
Natalia shows me how to play, then we play then So anyway, it
was we had fun and I got the hang of it quick. Turns out
I'm pretty good, and so I was like, wow, mom, you're
good. Yeah, I'm out, and uh, like, have you say
Barry's boot camp? Now, by the way, she went to Barry's boot
camp early in the morning, at seven thirty that morning, Yeah, with
her friend to live. You know what I love is that this girl,
yeah, started out early in life as a freaking annoying go getter. Are
what's next? Mom? Now? What are we doing now? And it
drove you crazy? And now she can get that, she can do that
herself. Yes, isn't it a kind of cute how her personality didn't change
but the opportunities changed, right, And it's just fine, Like, yes,
you you people with your young daughters who are like, what what's next?
Westerday? I think forward and your kid could be getting herself up exactly.
So so we so we played so anyway, it was Natalia and her
friend and then me and her friend's mom against the two of them. We
won, and then Natalia and I played against her and her mom. We
lost by one, but we did really good. And then I thought this
thing was gonna like drag out because now it's like three thirty and they're like,
you know, they're they're like hanging out by the court. They're like
about to drink champagne. And go inside and like sit by the pool and
stuff, and I'm like, this is gonna be a whole thing. Meanwhile,
I'm coming from the condo, so I'm not really dressed. I don't
have my like tank top and shorts at the condo. I'm wearing like black
sweatpants and a T shirt and I'm dying faces beat sweating. Italia is like,
So we played the two games and then Nali goes, are you okay,
Mom? You're ready to go? And I was like ready to go
home, and She's like, yeah, let's just go home and relax.
So she told Adam like, beat it because mom needs. Mom's gonna come
over and relax in between the pickleball and dinner. So he did, and
so I was like, oh, thank god, so we didn't have to
hang out. So we went home. I walk into the bedroom and there's
this five by five by four I don't know, it's like five feet by
four feet one of those area rugs, all rolled up with the plastic on
it, just sitting in the middle of the bedroom. And I was like,
oh, okay, because I thought Adam bought it for the bedroom because
we did need an area rug in our bedroom. Because Phil puked on it
so many times it was ruined. Okay, so we needed a little area
rug for the bedroom and I was like, okay. Then I walked by
and I look at it and there's like chicken scrat there's a note like a
like a paper notebook paper tore out with like writing on it. And I
was like, that looks like Sonny's writing. I looked down and says,
Happy Mother's Day. Mom Oh, I got me an area rug from my
bedroom. He went, He walked to Target and then walked home with it
on his shoulder. Oh my god. Oh cute. And he's like,
I think this might tie nicely with your bedroom. Hopefully you can read this
writing, because I know my writing's bad. He said, love you,
Happy Mother's Day. And I was like, ah, Sonny, thank you.
I've me a carpet. I love it. I know, I know.
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Absolutely yes, all right, So then what happened? So then we
went out, so I loved my carpet I got from Sonny. We chilled
for a little while, took a shower, relaxed, took Phil for a
walk. Phil's a pain in the ass, by the way. I take
this guy for a walk and it's he goes like a block up the street.
There's a house that has like tall grass, and he just lays down
in it and then he just I should have taken it. He was like
rolling, almost rolling off the curb into the street because he's like rubbing his
back on the grass. And I'm like, all right, Like, as
I sit there for a few minutes, I'm on the phone, I'm talking,
I'm like, okay, come on, Phil, let's go. Let's
go. Trying to pull him. He doesn't go. Cars are driving by
laughing, laughing at me because the dog is just this black lab one hundred
pounds, just laying in the grass. So anyway, took him for a
walk. Then I took them to dinner at our favorite little restaurant up the
street and fill the dinner. Took Phil, Sunny, Natalia, the three
of us and what was the restaurant food? It was They have like salmon
and like fried chicken and burgers and Sonny got tacos sheet her and I split
split um, Like, uh, what do you call it? It's not
ribs. It's a short ribs with Pato's really good split a salad and mashed
potatoes short ribs. And then of course they each get their lava cake dessert.
And it was really nice. We had a We had a good time
at dinner. Sonny told us that on Saturday, the day before, he
walked from our house in Lakenyata to the Americana in Glendale. Wow, fourteen
miles? What he walked thirteen miles, Yes, two and a half hours
to get there, eats the in and out Burger when he gets there,
walks around for a little bit, and then walked back. Oh my god,
I know, thirteen miles this kid walked on Saturday. He's never gonna
get his driver's license. He's not gonna need it. He's gonna get his
license in about one month. Really license. Yeah yeah, oh my gosh.
Yeah. And he's like, yeah, he's already talking to his dad
about a budget for what his cars. Sonny doesn't care a shit if what
kind of car he drives, he doesn't care. But um yeah, he's
uh, he's he's he loves to walk. And then we ate dinner,
and then after it was so much like they and they ate everything. They
finished everything, and then it was like by then it was like eight thirty
nine o'clock and Sonny was like, I think I'm gonna walk home to walk
it off, which is only like a block, it's only like two blocks
from home. And Natali was like, yeah, I'm gonna walk home too.
I want to like digest and I was like, all right, so
long. Oh. She gave me, Um, she gave me a like
a what do you call it? Four pack of little like candles for my
condo. Oh that's cute. Yeah, I got you. I thought you
were gonna say. She gave me a four pack of Barry's boot Camp.
Thanks. Thanks your mom. You're good for any classes between five am and
eight am. Perfect? Thank you. Yeah. She asked me the night
before She's like, you want to go to Berry's tomorrow morning. I was
like, no, no, it's mother's day. You get up and go.
She went, but um, yeah, she gave me candles. They
walked home. So how does she get places? She all of her friend's
drive. She's got a boyfriend, it drives now. He picks her up
almost every morning. Takes okay cool? Yeah, so did her friend just
picks her up for Barry's pimp? Yeah? Yeah, Well her best friend
does not like to work out, but her other friends do. So whoever
goes wants it, you know, they'll take her but or me. Yeah.
So yeah, not at seven in the morning. No, not at
seven. I'd be like just uber, yeah that just go run around in
the backyard by the way, like but um, she loves it. But
yeah, So that that was my mother's Day. Super fun, Kaylin,
Yeah what did you do? That was Amy's Mother's Day. It was very
relaxed. She didn't really want to do anything. She's like, I want
to do nothing, and I was like, okay, so I want to
play pickleball. She didn't want to play pickleball. Now. She was like,
oh maybe brunch and we were both like it's there's no way we're gonna
be like waiting an hour with the kids brunch, So that just wasn't gonna
work. So um, yeah, she just we just hang out at home.
She slept in, I made her breakfast what she likes, and then
I just kind of hung out all day and went to go get her take
out her favorite like salad that she's always wanting. So I went and got
her that for dinner. That's nice. Yeah yeah, well I mean did
the kids really spoil her? Yeah? Yeah, the kids by not crying,
No, they most certainly cried and followed her around and pestered her.
And yeah, yeah, yeah, I remember. So it feels so long
ago. I mean, my twins are almost sixteen. Mother's Day anymore.
Now that my kids are old, I know, it's like you have this
sweet spot when they're I don't even know when that sweet spot is really because
at no point can they go off on their own and buy you stuff.
I guess now they can once they well, I guess now they can.
And so I mean I got something. Yeah, but it's like it's not
really about that. It's more like when you when they're young, they're too
young to really appreciate its Mother's Day. They don't give a fuck. They're
just like, what have you done for me? Exactly? It's like,
well, bitch, I just did something for you this morning. Like my
life does not slow down for a Mother's Day and never has. Like I
mean, John, believe me, John is like it's Mother's Day, like
you what do you? What do you want me to get? Let me
go get you breakfast? You know. But it's like, but you know
me, I'm such a creature of habit. I want I set my coffee
the night before. I want my coffee the way I want it. I
don't want I'm the weirdo that doesn't drink like Starbucks. I like my vanilla.
I like my brood flavored coffee. I do the same thing every day.
I said it. Every night. I have a small amount because,
as I told you, I can only handle these little mini cups of coffee.
Otherwise I just go get the shakes. So I need everything to be
the way I like it. And I want my oatmeal or I want my
vis or you know. Yeah. I mean we were going to brunch,
so that was fun and different, and then nobody had to do anything.
But I still got up, drank my coffee, walk the dog like I
did a little longer. And by the way, Robin, who has Brudge,
I'm sure she's the one that put out the spread, went and got
everything. Yeah everything, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. That's the way
it goes. Like and then all of a sudden they're older and then they're
like whatever, out of the house or doing their own things, and they're
not their whole day doesn't stop down because it's Mother's Day, but nor should
it. I don't know, I don't like am I alone and just not
really liking forced celebration. I don't like my birthday I have, as you
know, I've said this many times, and I know this offends some people.
This is just how I feel. I do not like like, hey,
it's my special day and everybody's got to be nice to me and wish
me a happy birthday and like do nice things for like, you know,
like that. I think that we're traumatized from those people. Like when I
worked at ABC, that was like it's my birthday week, you know,
and I was like, everybody's got to decorate her a little cubicle and then
we're gonna like surprise or with cake at five o'clock, and it's like it's
like you get an askful of that, and it's like, yeah, you
know, it's it shouldn't be forced, that's for sure. And also,
and you know, I know I've said this many times before, but at
a certain point, everybody has a birthday. It's not that special. And
I know, now I'm gonna sound like Adam right, it's you didn't do
anything that we're celebrating. You were just born on a certain day. And
now every year, everybody and then it's like every time you turn around,
it's somebody else's birthday, and I get this feeling in my stomach when I'm
like, Okay, who's the next birthday in our family? Yeah, because
I already feel like I have to start planning. And by the way,
it's the same thing with the holidays, like it is hard to enjoy because
I feel a pressure every year that I feel like, oh my god,
I have to make the holidays special and everybody what I'm gonna get? Everybody?
Everybody got enough presents? It does it even? And then I don't
want people buying me things with my own money, do you know what I
mean? Like when you're a couple and you're getting Christmas gifts, it's like
that's a John is very sentimental and he really likes gift giving and that's that's
nice. But as the kids say, like, gift giving is not my
love language, right, yeah, that's true. I don't know what is
my love language? What is your love language? The fuck is a love
life? I don't know. Maybe quality time, yeah, acts of service
that like I don't mind, Like if John, you know what I love.
What makes me feel appreciated is like if I'm not feeling well and John
goes, don't get up, I let me walk, I walk the dog.
I'll take the kids to school without me having to say like, oh
I really don't feel wells or any way you could possibly see your way clear
to walking the dog. And I feel like I have to do that because
I don't know. Maybe it's one of those things where like, well,
nobody can read your mind. Like, but I feel like, now this
is getting into a rant about I feel like I do a lot of things
without being asked just because I've gotten used to getting those things done. Well,
that's the default parent, default parent. Yeah, but also you're in
tuned. You know, you're more in tuned with the kids and their needs
and what everybody needs the dog, the kids, everything. So you'd think
then, like on my birthday, I'd be like, Yay, everybody's going
to celebrate me. Today's my birthday. But instead I don't feel that way.
I feel like, oh, I don't want everybody to feel like,
oh, it's mom's birthday. Come on, let's celebrate, you know.
But even though the kids want to, but I just would rather, which
I have kind of trained everybody. I want to go out to a restaurant
that I like, like Benny Hannah. I'm very like white trashy, go
get my like colossal shrimp on the grill, you know. So let when
you let me ask you about Benny Hanna, do you do you mind Do
you mind sitting at the table with other people? No, because we always
make John sit closer closer to the strangers. Yes, and he almost always
makes some conversation that see, that's good. The last time we were at
Benny Hanna, there was a couple there and they looked so high and it
was hilarious because they were both so glassy eyed and like kind of laughing and
like ordered a lot of food and we were all just like, oh my
gosh, to those people they're gonna love their fried rice so much. Yes,
yes, this is gonna be like the best fried rice they've ever did.
I think the girl hadn't even been there before. But it was hilarious
watching them. But then don't they like they give it everything to you at
portions instead of all at once, Like yeah, they give you or they
do it, and they make the next thing and then they give that to
your right, they bring out soup and salad. Then they do like a
little shrimp appetized her for everybody. Then they do a little vegetable appetizer,
so it's zucchini, would you like zucchini? And uh onions? And I
always say, can I just have the zucchini? And then Elbie gives me
her zucchini, and I say, give her the onions. We have a
whole thing. It's a whole thing, right, that's the only part of
the birthday, Like I like that part, Like yeah, but then again,
we go out to eat all the time. Yeah, that's not really
that special eat you know what I mean? Yeah, I just don't listen.
I can't be bothered to like go look on my Facebook and see whose
birthday it is every day and wish them a happy birthday. Fuck off,
Like, Lyssies, you're old, you know, yeah, have the person
closest to you should wish you a happy birthday and be like and then that's
it. Then move on with your day. You shouldn't be in Jimmy Kimmel's
family because everybody's got it's like every I follow the aunt friends, I follow
all the cousins, and every day it's somebody's birthday. It's either like their
half birthday or their full bed birthday. An it's the kid, right,
it's the kids. It's this, it's this Uncle Frank's birthday. It's all
and they make a big deal. They have this big family get togethers,
and it's just poor Melissa too. I had um last week. Melissa and
Susanne come over. They I haven't seen Melissa in a long time. Today
Susanne's birthday. Actually, oh happy birthday. Yeah. And she just came
back from Sune. She just came back from Spain with her boyfriend. She
saw Bruce and Barcelona. Wow, she had a nice little vacation with her
boyfriend. And I said, what do you want to do for you?
She was like nothing. I was like, oh, oh, I love
her, love I know. She's like, I don't want to do anything.
I go, don't you just want maybe go to dinner? No?
No, no, And I said, well, you know, Melissa's coming
over on Tuesday next week. Do you want to come over? And she's
like, okay, I'll do that. I'll come over. And so Melissa
brings pekito moss, you know, because she's she's she's been conditioned and that
it's somebody's birthday. I gotta do shit right. And I'm like, Melissa,
I could have ordered a pizza. She's like, no, no,
no, I got it. She brings over pequitomt. She brings over bottles
champagne, like to celebrate Suzanne's birthday. No, I don't mind that.
Yeah, that was nice. I like to. Okay, so I take
it back like I like to. I have my little group of mom friends
and we always go to dinner for whoever's birthday is, and that's kind of
fun. And then we'll bring each other a little like even though we all
say no gifts, but we all bring each other a gift anyway. But
it's small stuff. And I think the difference is that everybody really likes doing
it. It's like an excuse for us to and there's like a kind of
a big group of us. There's probably like eight of us at this point.
And we just went out for somebody's birthday recently. Oh, my friend
Cecily, who's Elbie's friends. The daughter Eva is one of Elbie's closest friends,
and the mom is a really good friend of mine, and then we
went out for her birthday. But I think the thing is that all of
us moms are very low key about our birthday. Yes, and nobody's like,
hey, if you can't make it, like it is not a big
deal, yea, Like everybody's like that, like listen, if you were,
if you have anything else to do, don't worry about it. And
there's always enough people that can go and right, and then we just order
food and we don't let that person pay. That's that's about. You don't
really get stuck with a huge bill because it's a right more, you know
what I mean. Yeah, yeah, now we will look forward to that
too, like those kinds of things where you're away from the family, right,
Yes, that's the fun part, you know. I think it's that
I don't want I remember being a kid. This might be kind of what
it's about. When I was a kid, I feel like I felt a
pressure to do something for like my mom or step dad, even when I
wasn't getting along with them. It was kind of a thing of like you
were selfish, like if you didn't make a big deal or buy a gift
or you know, remember their birthday all the time. Like, I don't
like it, you know, that's what I don't like it when people feel
let down, right if you don't remember their birthday or if you don't make
a big deal about their birthday. And I never want anybody to feel like
I'm gonna be oh disappointed and like, wow, you didn't really rill all
out for my birthday, right right. I don't want anyone to have that
feel of course, No, that's the problem. It's the pressure. And
I think the thing about going out with our girlfriends too. It's like we
get to get out and we don't have to worry about anybody else. But
are you know, just just focusing on just a chill, nice, relaxing
dinner and not have to, you know, put that pressure. Everybody expects
the same, like no presents, no whatever's gonna enjoy This is for us.
It's not just for the birthday girl, it's us getting a night out
or whatever that's gonna yeah, yeah yeah. And then like if you the
friends that do like a little birthday present, it's they don't. They're not
expecting anything grand. It's just like we get each other like a little We
all have a store that we really like. It's called Soto. I don't
know if you've heard of the store. They sound like really cute, like
jewelry items and like what's a catchie s O t O. Really yeah,
it's really cute. They have a lot of really cute, gifty stuff.
And all the women in my like mom group love that store. So we
all just go to that store and get something from there and give it to
each other or Cecily always says no gifts, but she likes wants you to
donate to a charity. I like, so for her birthday that just passed,
I donated to the ACLU Drag Defense Fund. I love that. That's
nice. Yeah that's a good idea. Yeah, that's it. And then
I got her some vintage candy, you know old. So I went to
Lolly and Pops and got her some you know, an astro pop and pop
rocks and charms and a candy necklace and like, you know stuff. True,
that's a great idea, idea. Yeah, that's a good idea.
That's what I would get you for your birthday. See I get I got
it for her because it was to be something I would like. Right,
that's awesome. Yeah. One of my friends, I've gotten people a bunch
of lottery tickets. Another gifts a great idea. That's a great idea.
In fact, Tony Barbieri, who's a writer on Jimmy Guy, we share
the same birthday and we went camping all of us one year, and he
got me lottery tickets, and then the next day I like scratched him off
and I won like over a million dollars and I was like yes, And
I was like, oh, oh my god, you guys, wait a
second. I'm I won. I won. I totally fell for it.
And Tony was like, let me see, let me see, Lonette,
let me see. Oh my god, you totally Oh my god, Like
all of them were like oh. And then they all started, one by
lue laughing and looking at like videotaping me, and I was like, god
fucking kidding me, assholes. I didn't even know fake lottery tickets existed.
Oh my god, that is the best story because I've given those lottery tickets
out before. You. You can buy them at Spencer's Gifts. If anybody
is listening to this, you can buy them at the at those stores that
sell like little joke, right Franks, right, yeah, and they have
those winning lotteries. It looked real because I got a bunch and I was
like, this is no good. This is no good. Then I was
like, what holy fuck, happy birthday to me, which is like I
totally thought. It went on for like a half an hour. I was
like, oh my god, I'm buying it. We all let's all go
on vacation. Oh my god, what a let down. Yeah that is
terrible. I forgot all about it until just now. Yeah, that is
terrible lottery tickets. You know what's not terrible? No? What microdose?
Okay, we have a new sponsor. It's called Loomy Labs. We teased
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as you guys all know, he's been trying microdosing like different things.
So I got him started on the Loomi Labs and he was like, you
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Yes, gets rid of kind of that background like critical voice and he
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like helps you kind of bounce back from that. And you said Amy's been
using it to sleep, right, Yeah, yeah, she's not the best
sleeper. So yeah, when we got it, she's like, oh,
I'm going to try that for you know, nighttime. And she took one
and yeah, she didn't say like oh this, I got really high and
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got a full night's sleep. I just got him in the mail. I'm
going to try him. I can't wait. Yeah, And they have if
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think it's a great product. I can't wait. John swears by it.
He was so excited that this show started doing it because we got another pack
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Nice. I can't wait to try it. Wow. Well, so my
birthday's coming up? Birthdays coming up? What if I was like to summarize
m July fifth now want to get vintage candy? You know what? It's
another thing too, is it? So my sober birthday is May twenty second,
which is coming up, and I feel like, first, to me,
that birthday is more special to me, and like are my sober sisters?
Basically, yeah, we all celebrate each other's birthdays, and I think
that's really fun, like because it's nice. I go to my meeting and
then you get to like you take a cake, right, it's not a
real cake, but it's symbolic, and then we all go to lunch afterwards
and like people bring you flowers, and to me, that's more of like
an achievement. Yeah, that's your achieve I'm gonna have been fourteen years sober.
Wow, that's awesome. That's crazy. That's crazy. I think I
was like two years sober when I met you. Yeah, that's insane.
Yeah, I was all baby. I was also a little sober baby,
I'm a little wobbly sober leg that's awesome. That's nice. Um. Well,
one of the things I wanted to tell you about, so Sonny,
I don't know if I told you last week that Sunny was feeling like that
he was having like a like a bladder infection or something. Oh no,
like a uti. Well, first of all, this kid peas all the
time, like when we're watching a movie post I got to the bathroom post.
I gotta be positive. He peas a lot. But in the last
couple of weeks, two weeks, I think he was telling me now is
at the condo when he was telling me this, that it's now gotten the
point where he has to pee all the time, and he's he's describing what
a UTI is, you know, like he peas, nothing comes out and
then it like hurts, it's kinda sore. I'm like a boy with a
uti. Yeah, they can get him, that's what I so. I
was like, okay, it sounds like you have this. I you know,
I'd like to take you to the There's an urgent care right up the
street. So um, I couldn't take him, so Olga took him and
he went. And then Olga never she never called me after to tell me,
but she sent me caught like pictures of the paper work. So then
I'm looking at these. So it was the night that that Melissa and Suzanne
came over, So in my mind, I think, okay, he's okay.
I didn't I haven't heard anything whatever. So then they leave and I'm
about to go to bed. It's like twelve o'clock and I look at her
text and it says, um, it says hypoglycemia if you have that,
and then it says diabetes. What yes, So I was like, what
the fuck? Then I look at his urine sample and he had trace amounts
of glucose in his urine, and I guess that's why they included like diabetes
and stuff and the paperwork. So I was like, what the fuck?
So I asked So then I asked Olga and she was like, yeah,
I don't she's like that. They they did the they gave him the antibiotic,
so he did have a uti. They did that. He did have,
you know, in like a bacterial infection that gave him the the antibiotic.
But they said, follow up with your pediatrician because of the trace amounts
of glucos. Okay, it's urine. So so I took him to the
next day. The next morning, I took him to the pediatrician and they
did the same They did the urine test, They did the finger prick and
they said they're his glucos was fine. Oh, they said the level was
ninety six, but she nick so then immediately I'm googling, like what's the
normal and it says like seventy to one hundred, but ninety six sounds kind
of high to me. But they didn't think that was high. They said
it was normal. And why did they say that he tested high at the
They don't know. So they're doing it so I'm supposed to get the real
test results back like today or tom I haven't gotten anything of the blood test.
So that was just like the P test, yes, yeah, oh
yeah, but he had any other symptoms? Is he thirsty all the time?
That's what she said. That's what she said. But that you know,
yeah doctor wright stuff. Yeah, just my doctor's stuff. Right,
maybe you can like help me out. I'm helping right now. Give me,
give me symptoms. So she asked, is he getting up at night
like drinking a lot and being a lot? No, not really, like
not anything that out of the norm, Like sometimes he wakes up thirsty and
he drinks and whatever, but there's he doesn't really have to wake up in
the middle of the night to drink or pea or anything. Because she said,
that's kind of a sign. But there's no diabetes in my side of
the family, and not that I know of on Adam side of the family.
Yeah, me neither. The hereditary I don't know. I don't know
anything about diabetes. But the pediatrician's office felt like, don't worry about it.
He's fine. Well she's yeah, she didn't say. She just said,
well, we're doing we'll do a bunch of tests and we'll call you
and let you know next week. So a bunch of tests on the blood
that they are the boding and the urine. Yeah, okay, but from
what they saw immediately, there was no more. There was no glucose in
his urine. I guess on that day he fasted. The other day when
he went to the ear, you know, he didn't. So I don't
know if that makes a difference. I don't know. It probably does,
yeah, if you're fast, Yeah, I mean things like that can test
can be funky. John has always every time he has a physical almost oh
well, not every time, but a few different times, he had a
little bit of blood in his urine, which is called a he materia or
something. I should know this, but again, med schools will kind of
a while ago. Yeah, I have to refresh um. But he's had
to have some scary tests. I remember, yeah, because they're like that's
a bad thing, that can mean bad, bad stuff. Tech. The
technical term is is concern hit. You know, yeah, the technical term
is concerning. So he had to have like at one point um like a
CT scan and oh my god, I just remember this story. So one
time John had gone they had said, okay, this is kind of an
emergency. They had found blood in his urine and they said they felt like
it could be cancer. And because but they didn't say they weren't like,
oh it's we have to but but they were like one of the causes could
be cancer. You need to go get this checked out. They made him
an appointment like right away. Now I had LB and I remember I had
this neighbor who was such a bit Are you hearing like static when I talked?
It's kind of like right afterwards, I can almost hear it something with
my headphones. Okay, So this woman, this woman named Sharon, I
shouldn't have even said her. Who cares, I don't. I don't even
remember her last name. She was my neighbor. She was my neighbor.
Um. She was married to a rabbi and he was kind of a nightmare.
Oh my god, I haven't. I must have told you this story
around the time that it happened. No, because so Elbie was like a
baby, and these people had a baby. Elbie was a little bit older
than their kid, and they were these crazy people, and so they were
they tried to poach my babysitter. Did I ever tell you that story?
Okay, So we had this babysitter named Andrea, and they and this woman
was one of those like a Missus Kravitz, like super nosy and like always
wanting to know, like what you're up to. And so she wanted to
know if she could borrow my babysitter. Went. So my babysitter, who
was so sweet, she was my first babysitter ever, went over to their
house. She so this, this woman says, hey, we need the
babysitter because my husband. I can't remember why, but it was having some
kind of family emergency. Now I needed my babysitter too. But I was
like, Okay, go ahead, you know she can, she can go
to your house. This was like my everyday babysitter would come over while I
was writing. Anyway, So she goes over to their house and she told
me that the dad that her husband was just in his room, like laying
on his bed, like watching TV, hanging out and he wasn't supposed to
be home or whatever. And she was like, basically, there was no
emergency, like he was just hanging out, you know. So okay,
there was that. So then another time, like right around the same time,
she really wanted Andrea to come over, and I was like, fuck
this bitch, like, you're not having any kind of an emergency. You
don't need my babysitter, and I need her. So I was like,
oh, I can't remember what the situation was, but I said something like
she's not available or something. She comes to my house at like eight in
the morning and tries to find her at my house. Jesus, yeah,
oh, I think Andrea told her, Oh, I'm I'm at, I'm
gonna be at. I can't, I'm gonna be at. Andrea didn't want
to go back there. They're weird. And I'll tell you another reason they're
weird in a second. So Andrea says, I can't. I'm babysitting for
Stephanie. And so she came over to my house looking for her to make
sure that Andrea was telling the truth. Oh God. And she was like,
um, She's like looking into my house and she was like, can
I come in for a second. I was like no, I'm sorry,
I'm really busy right now. And Andrea was in my house, but she
was like, Oh my god, that bitch is trying to find me.
It was crazy. She was really crazy. So she had this thing where
and she had told Andrea this. When she came out, she was like,
listen, we're doing this parenting thing where we're not praising. We don't
you can't say like, oh my gosh, you're so cute, or look
at you, or you can't praise our son unless he's done something praiseworthy.
Now he was like a year old, maybe he was at the most like
fourteen or sixteen months old, right, so she wasn't allowed to say like,
you're such a cutey pie or anything. She's like, nope, only
if he does. What the fuck is he gonna do? What accomplishments is
over there? Like find his hands, like I mean, he juggle.
What is he gonna do? And Andrew was like, oh my god.
It was the most oppressive like and they corrected her at one point because she
did say something like oh, look at you Jesus, and they're like,
no, no, no, no, we're doing We're really serious about this.
That was one of the reasons she didn't want to go there. Also,
the husband was just being shady and weird and like hanging out, hanging
out doing nothing when they were supposedly so busy. So anyway to close out
the story one So at one point I needed this. I asked her if
she could. This is after many favors that she'd asked me over a period
of time. So John had to I had to take him to go get
this. Um. So we had taken it he'd gone to the doctor and
they were like, you have to go right to this radiology place and get
an MRI because we this this is scary. Yeah, I'm freaking out.
I've got Elbe. I can't for some reason, I couldn't take her with
me, and I asked this woman, Sharon, if she could watch Elb
for like two hours. I was like, I have to run John over
to this thing. I don't have anybody to watch her right now. And
she was like, oh my gosh, I would love to help you out,
but I can't because I'm taking whatever her freaking kid's name was too.
And then it was something that you could completely not go to. I can't
remember what it was, but it was like she was going to take him
to like a play like the play room. I think that's what she was
doing. And I said oh, and she was like, I mean I
take her, but we don't have two car seats. And I said,
well, I mean we have a car seat that you could use, and
she was like, yeah, I just can't. It's just too much.
And I was like, oh, okay, and I was crying because I
was really scared. Did you tell her like it was your husband? Had
to go. Yes, I told her. I was like, oh my
gosh, John just got this news from the doctor. They called him.
They said he has to go right and have this MRI and I have to
go with him. It's it wasn't even that far. It was like a
mile away, but I can't take Elbie with me. And she was like,
yeah, that's a lot unbelievable. Yeah, wow, So what happened
to her? What happened with John? Anyway, So he gets this whole
test done and they told they said, I don't know, it's like a
fluke. Some people just sometimes have like blood and their pea. There's no
real reason for it, right. And then then again another couple of years
later, same thing they found, And so it became a thing where it's
like, oh, he's just prone to it, really has this and it
doesn't really mean anything. Wow. I've heard that, like the people have
gone to the urgent care and tests come back where it's like, oh,
they tell you something and then they make you like Okay, now you gotta
go to your doctor, go to your bedia Rison, and then it turns
out to be nothing. Didn't you have some weird tests come back like a
while ago. Kind of sounds familiar, but I don't doctor. My wife
hits me. My wife hits me. Yeah, we can't call him a
wife beater because he's not a wife. So he'd doctor bed doctor beady,
Yeah, doctor beady. Yeah, I don't remember. You had some tests
come back weird. I did, yes, and you had to go get
like further tests and they were like, yeah, it's nothing. Remember you
called me or you sent me a text about it and you were like,
yeah, I have that. They had said I have to go get this
tested again because it sounds familiar, but I don't remember what exactly it was.
Yeah, So did they tell you not to worry about Yeah, they
just said yeah, I won't let you know. But at the time.
So they did the test that day and then they said they said, everything
looks okay. So when you find out the results they said today, Oh,
but here we are at the end of Monday. Yeah exactly. Yeah.
All right, Well, um, I'll keep you guys posted. Yeah,
thanks, all right, everybody. This has been super fun. Yeah.
Yeah, I hope it's been fun for you guys. Before we go
completely, let's give a shout out to our Patreon subscribers like Claire Gilbert,
who does the podcast Foggy Oak fairy Tales to cultivate learning and imagination. They
provide a mix of real life happenings on the Foggy Oak Farm. It's like
really fun, little fanciful stories on a podcast. Check it out, play
it for your kids before bed. You know your little kids, you're slightly
bigger kids that like I listen. I liked listening to story albums when I
was all the way un till I was like thirteen, So yeah, me
too. I think it's a really fun way to like help the kids go
to sleep, and then they'll look forward to it. They'll be like,
Mom, put on my fogy Old fairy tales. Also Maren who runs this
small bakery and gift shop called Sugar Skull with her husband, and they also
do wedding cakes. Their shop is on Kawai, Hawaii, so if you're
vacationing there you can check it out, or you can just go to their
Instagram page at Sugar Skull eight oh eight and you get fifteen percent off if
you use the code fcol Also Becky Barris, that's our girl, just basic
Becky. She will make you T shirts, mouse pads, coffee mugs us.
Go to her website and get it personally. Think of something funny like
doctor Beady. Yeah, you know whatever, Doctor Beady. Put it on
a T shirt, wear it proudly and um she turns it around faust.
The T shirts are really soft. Also, Kelly from Wilma and Frieda,
that's I love that place an they're one of our listeners went to Woman Frieda
and Cool and got a mimosa and he said the food was delicious. It
is delicious the best. I think they just won another year in a row
in the dives and diners and diets them congratulations, wonderful food at Willman Frieda
and Palm Springs or Palm Desert. And last, but not least, Nikki
Collier's husband is Joseph Collier. He's a private practice Chapter seven bankruptcy attorney in
the LA County and some of the surrounding counties. He has a sliding feet
scale. He guarantees a successful discharge of debt. His website is Joseph Collier
Law dot com. Okay, that's Collier spelled c l i e er law
dot com. Or you can email him at j Collier fifty one three at
gmail dot com. All Right, everybody, thank you, you guys,
thank much preparing. Nowt Ida, let a go.