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Human beings are social creatures, but
there are times where loneliness is real,

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even whether even when people are all
around you. Jimmy has the story Jimmy,

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what does it mean to be lonely? Members of different age groups might

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have different definitions or different ways of
measuring exactly what loneliness is and how it

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affects each of them. In reading
the title of this article, my mind

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immediately went social media. By the
way, the article is titled nineteen percent

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of US adults report frequently or always
feeling lonely. But yeah, my mind

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went straight to social media, and
it was not surprising that this topic appeared

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as the most likely cause for young
people to feel lonely, while elderly report

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little loneliness at all. So why
the huge differentiation. We'll discuss the breakdown

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of loneliness in the United States and
what we can do to alleviate it.

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This story is from Yahoo Life by
Caitlin Riley on May twenty twenty four.

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So the article actually begins by noting
that lonely holiness is considered an epidemic in

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America and according to the US surge
in general. Despite this, the poll

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reveals that fifty percent of the respondents
rarely or never feel lonely, which is

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a start contract that suggests a nuanced
understanding is needed. And loneliness is not

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just about objective social isolation, but
also about subjective feeling or connection and fulfillment.

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So, Jimmy, since you introduce
us to the story, how do

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the top three factors contributing to feelings
of loneliness actually show up among the survey

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respondents? Well, I think that
the difference in the definition of loneliness just

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goes to show to your point that
loneliness is in fact a social understanding and

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not necessarily the definition that is understood
by everybody. People can experience their so

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you know, their social connection differently, I think for the elderly versus the

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the youth to have such differing opinions, and then breaking that down to women,

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for example, who experience loneliness a
lot differently than men and more frequently,

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just goes to show that we define
loneliness a lot differently. And so

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for the young people who might socialize
in different ways than the elderly but still

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define loneliness by its textbook definition,
I think they may be answering a question

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that they're not really being asked,
you know, and so that was kind

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of my initial take on that.
And you know, to relate this to

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religion, you know, we are
the ACA after all. I thought that

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I thought that the decline in people
saying they're religious versus the rise in people

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saying that they're lonely, speaks to
the fact that many people often turn to

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religion for social purposes, and with
people turning away from religion might be socializing

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less. That was kind of a
connection I thought is worthy of more exploration.

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So I wanted to kind of posit
that there. But as far as

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the factors breaking these differences down,
different understandings of what it means to be

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lonely, you know, just seem
to exist between different groups. You know,

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I want to explore that whole thing
that you brought it. You know,

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I was thinking about talking about it
a little bit later, you know,

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when it comes to the decline of
the you know, religious being a

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thing and having a rise in the
nons We covered that a lot here on

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the nonprofits and how that could be
a big contributing factor to how people socialize.

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So, Cindy, I'm coming to
you. How do you think the

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decline of you know, being like
people saying that they're religious or attending like

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religious institution, temple, churches,
et cetera, actually can be a contributing

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factor to the possibility or the feeling
of one being lonely. I think there

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is an impact. I mean,
I've been involved with the ACA for several

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years now, and I've seen and
heard this topic since the very beginning.

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So we've talked a lot, a
lot a lot at the ACA about this,

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about the community aspect of religion and
how atheists or non religious people can

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combat this and offer an alternative,
and we haven't found a real solution yet.

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What this fall struck me with is
that I was under the impression that

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numbers were higher than what is shown
here, and I wondered if maybe the

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pandemic had an impact on that,
meaning that loneliness is like basically, it's

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like pain. It's something that you
feel and when you're asked about question can

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be influenced on how you feel at
the moment, how you what you went

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through in the last hours, days, months, And so the fact that

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we've all been very much alone for
almost a year, did it lower our

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threshold to feel loneliness? That's what
I wondered when I read this study.

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Well, let's go back to the
study and really talk about like the demographic

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differences. So the poll shows that
significant differences and loneliness are based on age

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and gender. I believe, Jimmy, you brought up that point. Younger

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people, particularly those who happen to
be gen Z and millennials, report higher

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rates of loneliness, which could be
linked to an increased social media usage and

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the pressure to maintain those online personalness. And this is reliance on virtual interactions

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may hinder deeper and more meaningful face
to face connections. But you know,

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those who happen to be older who
have not been I'm not going to say

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exposed, but they're not as reliant
on building relationships with social media as much

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as like gen Zers and millennials are. Don't necessarily need that to be a

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divining rod per se, you know, for lack of better term, when

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it comes to defining like what their
state of loneliness might be. So,

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Jimmy, I want you to kind
of, like, you know, give

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your thoughts on how do you think
that social media can play impact on how

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one might look at or even experience
loneliness versus not and then Cindy, I

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would like for you to get your
thoughts as well. Well. When it

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comes to social media, you know, it can be a very anxiety inducing

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type of medium for somebody who sees
photos and sees events taking place where people

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of their own age group, people
of similar lifestyles perhaps likes and dislikes,

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etc. Are out having fun there
with people. They're making something of themselves,

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if you will. But we have
to remember that a lot of these

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lives, these personas that we see
online are glimpses. They're the highlights.

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They are made up. The entire
story is made up. Might be based

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on real events, but that's not
the consistency of that person's story, right.

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It's not easy to remember that though, especially as a young person.

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I think that when you see these
things, you measure yourself against that.

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And for the young people who are
seeing other young people do this on social

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media, that might translate to loneliness. But I think older people, people

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from previous generation is that we're not
en meshed in social media, can relate

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to that in some way. They
came up with billboards and television right of

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people who maybe looked like them will
reflected them in some way, but we're

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doing better than them keeping up with
the Joneses. Right Did I say that

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already? I'm not sure if I
did, But in any case, uh,

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it's a very real thing. So
uh, I just think that it

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didn't quite equate to loneliness for those
people, right who. Social media,

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on the other hand, is different
in that aspect. Now it includes socialization,

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not just who's doing what, who's
who's better off, who's well off?

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You know, who's keeping up with
the Joneses if you will. Now

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it's who's keeping up with every Tom, Dick and Harry in the neighborhood.

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You know, it's a little bit
different, and I think it translates differently

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between young people and old older folks. Do you do you think the keeping

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up the Joneses issue, for you
know, online personas is a thing,

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Cindy, like when you actually look
at the when you actually, you know,

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think of how younger people are relating
to one another versus maybe older people.

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I'm not sure that social media has
such an importance on the difference between

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loneliness in young and older people.
There are several factors that I'm not sure

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are taken into account, Like all
the people they met more people during their

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lifetime, so they are they have
more people to relate to when when needed.

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And also those people they met,
they are in their memories in the

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way they think, and so loneliness
is harder to trigger when you've met a

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lot of people during your lifetime.
That's that's one thing. Another thing is

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that all the people grew up without
social media, and so they had to

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socialize is differently, and so those
social connections they are probably more impactful in

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the way they measure their own earliness. So I don't know's it's probably the

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case that some people who are only
turned more towards social media, but I'm

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not entirely sure that social media is
the cause of the problem. Yeah,

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it just probably is just like what
a symptoms position versus correlation. Yeah yeah,

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thank you, turtles all the way
down. Regardless. You know,

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it's kind of interesting. I'm gonna
go into a little anecdotal evidence when it

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comes to how I viewed this pole. With my line of work, I

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happen to deal with a lot of
people who happened you know that are seniors,

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and when I do my assessments to
see, like, you know,

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what kind of resources they may need
A question that I always ask everybody is

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are they lonely? And majority of
the time the seniors say no, and

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or they find other ways in order
for them to engage with community around them.

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And I will tell you, especially
you know with my Latine and my

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African American demographics, that the majority
of them are a Christian, The majority

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of them are attached to some type
of you know, church, religious setting.

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A lot of them have community members
that they speak with on a regular

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basis, and that is something that
they use, I guess, to mitigate

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any type of loneliness that they may
possibly experience. So is it that maybe

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us who happened to be irreligious secular
not necessarily engaging in institutions like that causing

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I don't know if we can say
correlation versus causation an issue because our communities

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may not be as you know,
connected, resourceful or what have you.

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Jimmy, what are your thoughts about
that? And then CYNDII life for you

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to chime in as well. Well, that's a good question, and it's

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kind of a tough one as to
ask because I don't feel like I'm lonely

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and I don't go to church of
course, and you know, I felt

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like when I was in church,
I didn't fit in and none of that,

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none of that comfort, none of
that socialization, really made me want

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to be there. I think in
that aspect, it might just come down

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to feeling wanted, feeling connected.
So there's probably a lot of people who

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go to church that equate socialization in
that space with not being lonely, but

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they may still very well be lonely. You know, I found you guys,

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I found the ACA. You know. I get asked sometimes in my

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line of work, do you have
a support network? Well, yeah,

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I think I do. I think
that Cynthia, I think either one of

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you, Cindy, Cynthia, I
could probably call you or contact you if

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I needed to talk or if I
needed something, and that right there.

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I don't have to see you every
Sunday, but I don't feel lonely because

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of that. So it's a sense
of belonging that really matters, you know.

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And it goes back to the point
that I made earlier. Do people

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really know what they're answering when they
ask when they are asked about being lonely,

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because maybe they're associating a different word
with loneliness, a different definition,

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maybe they don't feel like they belong
or maybe they don't feel adequate when compared

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to the rest of their social group, and that's what they're really defining.

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But as far as loneliness in religion
versus non religious, I really think it's

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about the company you keep and not
the kind of company that you have to

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find. So that's my response there, What about yours? Yeah, I

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think that's that's a good point.
And also there is an idea of frame

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of reference when you are born into
a religious family and you're used to being

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surrounded by all your congregation every time
you do something outside your house, and

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when you lose that, then yes, the frame of reference is that you

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don't have as many people as you
had before, and so you may feel

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lonelier. But another person who has
the exact same number of connections but it's

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been like this for their entire life, there they may not feel lonely.

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So it depends on how you grew
up and and and what you've been exposed

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to. There's another important point that
I think is worth mentioning is there's a

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woman who is in interviewed in the
article and she's said, I'm a firm

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believer that noneliness ultimately stems from a
lack of a relationship with ourselves. The

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real work lies not in creating meaningful
relationships with others, but starting with creating

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or building a healthy relationship with ourselves. And to come back to the divide

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between younger and older people and how
they express feeling loneliness, we also know

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that younger people are more receptive and
understanding of mental illnesses and mental issues,

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and so maybe the fact that we
are more aware of our mental issues means

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that we may feel more normally because
of this. I think that's something to

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be looked into, because again it's
correlation and causation may not be applying here,

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but I think there's still something to
test here, because if if we

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have people who realize how an adequate
they feel compared to their social group,

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and also the fact that we have
more abut Qui people who identify as such

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in the younger population, then this
sentence that this woman wrote makes much much

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more sense. And yeah, I
think there's something to look into there.

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You bring up a very interesting point
about the divide in generations when it comes

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to being more aware of behavioral health
and how that actually coincides with how we

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relate to ourselves and also how we
relate to other people. And I would

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definitely say that And this is just
you know, from observation and even from

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looking at how younger generations of people
you know, speak and relate to one

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another, and even what they are
aware of versus like you know, maybe

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like a boomer generation or a silent
generation, they happen to seem to be

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more in touch and more empathetic per
se when it comes to even themselves.

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Now, with that being said,
can we kind of explore that this a

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little bit. I know that we're
like running out of time, but I

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think it's something that's like really important
to touch on. Is that whole being

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in touch with being more aware of
you know, behavior, health and mental

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issues and even being empathetic. Cindy, can you kind of expand on that

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a little bit and then, you
know, Jimmy, I would like your

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response to that as well. Yeah. I think the fact that more knowledge

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has been acquiring in the last thirty
years about psychology and neurobiology and neuroscience in

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general, that made us more aware
of our not necessarily issues, but the

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way we think is much more programmed. Than we used to think and so

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programmed in a way that it depends
on what we went through, It depends

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on how we were raised, depends
on our genetics, it depends on so

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many factors, and so realizing this
and realizing that it can have a lot

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of impact on ourselves and the way
which with others. Then that's why we

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have some people now who are younger, who realize this more because we are

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in touch with medias that tell us
this and we learn more about this.

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Again, social media gives us access
to so much knowledge, and the older

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people may not spend so much time
on it, and then they learn less

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and stay stuck with the knowledge they
had at the time. So I think

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that that has an impact here as
well. You, Jimmy, what are

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your thoughts? Yeah, well,
I think that the awareness of mental health

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issues certainly plays out in our youth
versus generations where you just didn't talk about

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mental health, right, And I
think that that is reflected in the answers

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to this survey. And I can
see members of the youth who were surveyed

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who said, well, you know, yeah, maybe I do feel lonely,

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and it's because of these reasons where
you have the elderly that are answering

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and saying, oh, now,
I'm fine. You know, I think

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that that is something to be considered
as well. You know, there's a

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generational gap not only in the way
that we use technology or the way that

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we define loneliness, but even a
willingness to acknowledge some of the stages that

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we are in, or some of
the some of the mindsets or placement that

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we have as far as our mentality
goes. You know, that also,

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I would venture to say, probably
had an impact on the results of this

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survey. Yeah, I think that
you're right with that. I think that

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both of you all really hit the
nail on the head about especially being aware

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of, you know, your basically
how human behavior works, because we have so m