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Adventist Radio London. Inspiration for the
song Welco talking about with Ray Angela,

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discussing the hot topics and answering your
questions. Saturday's five to seven pm on

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Adventist Radio London. It's talking Point. It's talking Point. It's talking Point,

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it's talking Point conversations. You need
to have good afternoon everybody, and

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welcome to Talking Point. Sorry,
a little bit of confusion here on my

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end um as. Last week the
ladies had a universe unilateral decision to help

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me lead out. Today I'm actually
at the board so it's my first time

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being at the board side. Do
apologize. I'm doing all right, all

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right, I want to thank everybody
for joining us again. Zenia and Angela

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are with me today on zoom.
Uh. This is why I missed Pastor

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Ray because you know, I had
a had a had a you know,

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a brother actually we're gonna talk about
today. I had a brotherhood in arms.

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Were Pastor Ray to help me out
on these sort of things like this.

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You know, he wouldn't let me
be you know, thrown to the

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fire like this. I'm hearing me, but you know it's okay, so

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right, I don't know want you
decided that because he would be I'm trying

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to help out my brother. Don't
be trying to blow him up like that.

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Yeah. Yeah, normally be celebrating
his birthday, but unfortunately we didn't

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get to do that. This weekend, he celebrated his sixty year. I

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could say it because he put it
all over Facebook, so I don't think

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he'll mind if I was to say
the number, happy birthday pastor y Yes,

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yes, yes, huh birthdays this
week? Yeah? Yeah, it

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was my Michael's birthday yesterday. I
like that, Yeah Michael, Yeah,

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so Michael, this is his birthday. His nephews on the same day called

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Quinlan's today. Raise actually has somebody
else who's I remember? I had two

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birthdays, Yes you did, Yes, the fifteenth and twenty third. I

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have a fifteen and a thirteen year
old now, yes, have mercy.

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It's a popular week. And then
I got a couple other birthdays from nieces

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and cousins and nephews and yeah,
so it's been a really busy month for

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myself. So how you doing,
Angela? How was your week so far?

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Oh? How was your week?
It was busy, busy, stressful,

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it was hot and I'm so thankful
and blessed that we have having this

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weather. But I suppose I love
the weather. Sometimes when you're having to

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do lots of things and you're out
about it was dame, I say it,

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Lord, please we give me.
It was almost too hot. Now

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I've been rushing around, I'm trying
to find something and I'm just like,

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I'm really hot now. So I'm
sitting here with a fan on my face.

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Um. So the heat. Whilst
it's lovely, I guess when you're

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busy working or if they're sitting in
a cart, sometimes it's not so great.

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Um. And again, oh definitely, I know you feel quickly,

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um, and I'm thankful again.
You know, we have a sabbath for

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here at sabbath. But so it's
been, it's been. It's been a

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bit of an up and down.
We hand to say, Um, I'm

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looking forward to just chilling tomorrow.
I think I think I probably have a

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to do list of one hundred and
one things to do. I don't think

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I'm gonna do that much though,
chill because the week's just going to start

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again and that's you know, back
to the same or same old as it

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were. So yeah, the weekend
still fly by. I don't think,

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oh, definitely, it really is. I just think I feel like I'm

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blinking and it's gone, Oh my
goodness. Real. Yeah, we're already

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in July, so even don't start
how many days still Christmas? There I

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go there. You know, I
have a friend that does that. She

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puts it off, she starts like
early. Oh my god, friend she

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does that. She puts it on
really early. Late when it's like three

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hundred, two hundred days to Christmas, she started putting up on Facebook.

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And I'm like, really, that's
a bit much, that's a yeah,

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that's a bit much. But she
does do that. We're already looking.

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I'm like, come on, really, come on really, but yeah,

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I get it. Time's flying.
Definitely, it's flying. So Zania,

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how was your week? Um?
I was tempting to say, same old,

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same all that, but I won't. I won't. Um My week

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was good, like like Angie,
I'm enjoying the sunshine, but I could

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do with it being down and notch
and just saying but you know, like,

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an't want to be a grateful either. I've been logging for some warmer

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weather, so we're grateful lights here
and it's glorious, it's blue skies.

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It's just it's just it's fantastic.
So for all those, as you would

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say, pull Pedro, some worshippers
out there, you know they're they're lapping

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it up and enjoying it. Um. But yeah, just kind of work

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everything else. Jahim finished his GCSS, so you know, congrats to him

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and everyone else, all the young
people who have sort of put their pens

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down and and now moving into summer
mode. I just wish them all well.

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Exam results I think come out in
August, so prayers answered, everyone

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will have good results and be able
to move on with where they want to

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move on for the next phase of
their lives. So yeah, just doing

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that and now planning birthdays and summer
holidays and the rest of it. But

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God is going on. I'm grateful. Yeah, I can see where you

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come up with that. My son, he's fifteen, so he's got one

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more year and he's already stressing.
We wanted to move, but he was

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like, please, can we not
move because he didn't want to move to

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a new school with one year and
he's like, I'm used to the school.

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Even I had issues at the school
in the beginning I would rather stay

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because he's comfortable. So now we
have to stay one more year before we

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can move because of him. But
I love him, so it's you know,

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I'm good. I do that for
my son. But I told him

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after that we out because everybody else
is like, we need to go,

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but he's the only one that's holding
his back. But I agree with that.

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I mean, no, no point
disrupting him. And also different schools

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operate differently, so yeah, to
plug him out one and plug him into

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another. Yeah, I thought about
it because at first I was like,

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they don't make a difference. They
teach the saying that not really differences between

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the school. Yeah, but it's
just more about him just being in a

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different environment and he's not. He's
not one that takes different environments that easily.

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He takes a minute to adjust.
So for his benefit, you know,

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because he told me yesterday he's trying
to get all nines. I don't

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even know what that means. It's
good, it's all good. I don't

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know what that means. I'll be
honest, I have to ask, and

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he says, he said, he
said, what you just said, it's

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good, And I'm like, okay, cool, I no, I don't

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know the new system, but I
think it's somewhere around A. Plus.

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He's trying, he's trying to slash
it, so we're gonna see how he

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do. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, how was your week? My week

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was was like, um, Angelas
said, I've been driving in this heat

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and it's absolutely scorching. I actually
don't like the sun. Yeah I've said

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that before, having that I don't
like the sun. I don't because I

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feel like the sun just drained you. Um, end of the evening,

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You're just so drained you can hardly
function. And I prefer like when it

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was raining. I was enjoying it, you know, I was. I

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was really enjoying it. People was
like, why are you smiling his raining?

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I'm like, because it's cool cool. Yeah, but then the humidity

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kicks in, said, makes it
even hotter, So you know, give

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a take um bout us for that. Yeah, driving around in the heat.

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I'm just trying to stay hydrated and
um. But I had a good

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week. Did a couple of things
and then oh, as I said,

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a couple of birthdays, so I
had though, Um, we didn't really

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do birthday parties. We kind of
just um let them pick a meal,

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they pick where they want to eat
them, and then we just do that.

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Have a cake. No, Sky, Sky was first, and then

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Junior was was second. Yeah,
happy birthday, Sky, and then my

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you met Johnny. Johannes's Monday,
so after three in June, Johannes's Monday,

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So Joe's Monday, so he's the
twenty six goes twenty six on the

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twenty six expensive month. No,
then my oldest goes twenty ninth on the

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twenty ninth in August, and then
my nine year old goes nine July eighteenth,

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so three months of five kids.
Yeah, I was. I was

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a gluten and for punishment, so
you know, it is what it is.

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But enough about my pain and suffering. You know, it was Father's

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Day last week and we were saying, because obviously have the birthdays everything else,

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did they do anything? They made
me breakfast? Oh cool, they

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made me breakfast. I woke up
to breakfast, not in bed, but

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I woke up to breakfast. Yeah, and they they made it. They

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went they told my mother, my
mother, they told my wife to sit

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down, and they actually went into
the kitchen and made it. They made

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me some eggs, hash browns.
Bacon, turkey bacon. Let me say

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that. Turkey bacon, folks,
turkey bacon, and um what else I

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had? Yeah, and and they
and some grapes and so they made that

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and I had that for um for
breakfast. So yeah, and then after

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that we just chilled. I'm not
a picky I'm not a real fussy person

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when it comes to like holidays and
doing things like that. I've just done

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a significance of it. But I
was. I was happy with that,

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and they just spent the day.
Actually, I wasn't feeling good because I

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was supposed to go out, but
um, we didn't. We didn't go

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out. So I know you are
kind of saying, oh, you know,

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it's kind of shadow. But everything
else so recognized, as she said,

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not just recognizing you for that one
day. You know, father's father

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figures. I just think we should. We should. We should appreciate fathers

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every day, just like we should
appreciate mothers every day. Everybody, everybody

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is all. It's an all day, every day thing, every minute because

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we all have a part in our
lives that we have to play. We

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all have different aspects that we have
to do, and it's a struggle that

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we were working every We work every
day, just like marriage or just like

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parenting. We're working every day.
Is something new every day, so we

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got to work and get that and
just you know, we're learning something new

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every day. It's just a consistent
and because you know, you know,

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yeah, it's just listen, a
bit of appreciation goes a mighty long way.

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And just to thank you, I
love you. You know, I'm

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grateful for what you do. Doesn't
take by the minute, but it can

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make such a difference. So every
day, why not. Definitely, I'm

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glad you said that, but I'm
not gonna say what I was gonna say,

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because then we'll get in trouble.
Oh not not with you, not

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with you, with my wife.
Because my wife said something to me yesterday

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that blew my mind and I was
like, really, well, I'm not

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gonna blow out like that. You
would if I told her what she said,

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you'd be like, she didn't say
that, Did she really say that?

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You know whatever? But I'm gonna
leave it at that side, folks.

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Yeah, she come over here and
beat me up. Tell you.

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So we're going to go to a
break and then when we come back,

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we're going to be joined by Stephen
Right, Yep, we're gonna talk about

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yes, because this week we are
come to the ends of our men's mom

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this we have been celebrating and recognizing
the men in our well men in our

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lives, but of men in general, a little bit about men's health and

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mental health. That's what we do, fathers, and today we're looking at

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brotherhood and the idea of kind of
what that made mean. You know,

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we send you and I and I'm
sure many women are often talking about you

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know, men and they're connecting and
how they interact with each other. So

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I'd like to think there is a
brotherhood of men out there, whether it's

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your friends, your family and spud
brothers, your brothers can be christ within

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the church and community. But is
that really happening? So many people I

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talked to recently are just like,
what, you know, what do our

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men do? We have a men's
ministry team within our church, but sometimes

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the case I may not know what's
happening because it's not necessarily targeted me,

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But I guess they want to know
what's happening. But we want to know

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about men's connections and how they connect
with each other. So yeah, that's

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what we're going to be discussing and
we have got we will have two brothers

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on guests are guesting us today mentioned
one Stephen and brother Andrew, but we'll

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meet them. Asked the break,
So yeah, if we want to know

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what brother and I was asking the
question, how are you your brother's keeper?

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Because we say that so you know, and as Christians sometimes that's what

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we sometimes are apt to doing.
So yeah, we want to look at

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that. And as usual, if
we want we want to hear from you,

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we want you to kind of join
this conversation as well. So I'm

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going to hand over to send you
because I connect, I can never remember

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if you want to join the conversation
or sending your comments, Yeah, sending

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your comments to do You can text
us to triple A at a triple two

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eight or and write hope and then
your message. Or you can also contact

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us as a studio at a Inventors
Radio London studio at Inventors Radio that London.

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And I'm tasking a question chin out
there before we break, and maybe

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our listeners and hopefully our listeners not
maybe hopefully our listeners can respond. The

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question is why is there a reluctance
for men to seek support again. Yeah,

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d I see a change, and
I'm gonna ask obviously our guest panelists

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to talk on that. I'm Petro. I'm sure you're going to chime in

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as definitely. The song is Kirk
Franklin nine one. Hello. Hey,

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it's meet Kirk. I need to
speak to Bishop sure, hold on,

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Hello, Hey, I got some
stuff I need to talk to you about.

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Lately, Pastor. I've been having
all these crazy kind of dreams.

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It's hard to sleep, I can't
eat, scary enough. I know what

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you mean. I mean, ever
since that Tuesday, seemed like life is

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getting real strained, shot shooting,
anthrax, terrorist attacks, and I ain't

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even trying to get on a plane. I feel it. And you know

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when I try to pray that his
voice tell him it. God's not real,

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you know, let's just see him
a man. Yeah, but you

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ain't feeling me, no, son, I know just how you feel.

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See, just because I preach and
teach, don't let or don't get scared

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sometimes you know whatever, but you
t d Jake, But then I don't

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make mistake. Wealth and little teams
on my mind when you're smiling is gone.

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Yeah, but I feel full your
heart is giving. I will see

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what you don't know my mind.
I'm so sick and tired of all just

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got laid off and then pop it
off the rent stud So tell me what

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I gotta get. We'll see.
Trials come to make you, storms won't

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last. How can I trust God
and all this method or See? That's

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a reason for a song. See
wherever you're go, that's one thing you

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got to know. God's right that
by your side. So thank you for

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calling. It's always good to hear
from you. Yeah, but I gotta

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go now waiting. I have another
call online too, but I ain't through.

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Say. I'm sick and tired of
all these trucks folk talking about stuff

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ain't as bad as the scenes.
See y'all don't feel my pain. I

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don't hear bain. I don't say
how you want to cover of Time magazines.

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See, but you're looking at it
now and you don't know how I

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struggled and what I've been through.
Yeah, whatever, Now you cross the

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line. I'm just speaking my mouth, okay, So let me speak mine

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too. I've had some mountains,
I've seen some ballas. I've even had

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to cry sometime back when I lost
my mother or your mother and my mother.

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I'm sorry, No, son is
fine. See life is full of

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ups and bounds, but gods hit
the storm woe last month. How'd you

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make it through? Boy? I
thought you knew it was mother telling stry

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when smiles, he'll go alone.
Although your heartest heaven gone to shiver,

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y'all don't feel mine And I'm getting
very thick and tired of all the just

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got laid off in the top of
off the rent. Dude, go tell

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me that you'll what I gotta get
now, tell your trials come to me

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and those those storms. How can
I prove God in the mids of all

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that met? See that's a reason
for this song. Wherever you go from

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you got to know. Course care
to tell you, but thank you pastor

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00:17:48.680 --> 00:17:52.480
anytime I think I can make it
now, just tell me what I need

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to do. Just pray this prayer
with me, say Father, fin forgiven

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00:17:57.640 --> 00:18:02.759
forgetting he sorry, Please help me. I love you, I love and

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beat you, hold me, hold
me jee my hearty, So please take

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me controls right now, right now
now. Now you ain't smile, and

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00:18:18.799 --> 00:18:26.000
even when you feel so alone from
your heartest heaven, even in the middle

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of all of ya, and when
you're chicken tied of all the rains,

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remember that the rainbow last always.
And in Christ Jesus, you got so

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much the game to see your trials
come to make it, and the storms

250
00:18:38.160 --> 00:18:47.400
won't remember the temporary. See that's
a reason for the song. Wherever you

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go, that something you've got to
No Goddess still he told me to tell

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me. Oh yeah, thank you. Welcome back to Talking Point on The

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Mentors Radio London. That was nine
one one by Kurt Franklin. We want

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to thank you. We want to
thank Stephen Fuller for joining us today as

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we talk about brotherhood and we just
want to get some feedback from him for

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those that listened to us last week. He was actually the gentleman that was

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interviewed by Zenia and oh by Angela. It was Angela. Yeah, I'm

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sorry, I always get that mistaken, but yeah, he was interviewed by

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Angelin. He has some really good
points and it was a powerful testimony where

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he talked about about fatherhood and stuff
and I really appreciated what he was talking

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about and some of the things that
men don't want to talk about in today's

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society. I really did appreciate how
I'm transparent. He was, So we'll

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pass it on to Stephen. Now
would you like to introduce yourself and tell

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us a little bit about yourself?
Yeah? So um as you got my

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money steamer um for badam church.
Let me ship you there even for a

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while though, But that and Angelo
forgat Now outside of church and stuff,

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um in studying. So um,
I'll take it back to twenty fourteen.

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So basically I went to Elkwood so
I think to be a bustar and it

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was a great experience. Wow,
welcome was able to finish as you can

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imagine, it was very hung down
by it wasn't really it wasn't easy to

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do with. I think the experience
opened up my eyes to a lot of

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different things. So during that time
in my life, I just saw my

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lap as just being acousta. That's
all I saw. So when that failed,

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I just fall sot of what Now
Basically, whilst I start there,

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I just saw some few things and
I start to realize that there's more to

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minissue than being being a pastor,
and that's where that inspiration to become a

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counselor became more prominent. So every
time I preach. I speak to individuals

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after sermons and I'll realize that there's
a lot of issues that the members are

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facing, and my sermons that I
preached, I didn't think it was justice

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to some of the the charms and
situations that people are going through. So

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inspire me to want to be more, to be more good to deal with

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those situations or start studying counseling,
and so far I'm one level four on

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a couple of more gear to finish, but that's my main inspiration to be

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to be a counselor um As you
can imagine the pressures of being a husband,

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being a farmer, it's quite heavy. So during that period I study

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gass engineering as well, just basically
yeah, makes some money, provide and

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just do my best to support my
family. And it's just funny how things

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work because even though I was doing
it, I finished and I tried to

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pursue it as it works out accordingly. But I've learned that sometimes these setbacks

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just kind of forget on an opportunity
for me to see the bigger picture.

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And at the moment, I'm just
focusing on my passions, aspirations, finishing

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my studies and just working from people
trying to get through issues or comblems that

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they're facing. So that's in a
natural that's in the natural. You said

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you want to awkward and what year
I was there? Twenty fourteen to twenty

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fifteen, sixteen? Okay, all
right, that spy sometimes awkward. When

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I was younger. My father was
from Elkwood and my mother's Bible worker,

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and that's where they met, actually
was at Elkwood. They get married at

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the chapel and a lot. I
can't remember when, but years ago.

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All right, good, Yeah,
it was a good place. Um,

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you said you also became a counselor, so do you are you just counseling

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for the youth or do you go
just a counselor yeah, just general counselance

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from studying. Okay, haven't been
figuring out my niche in terms of when

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will be young people family, So
I'm just focusing on just your studying,

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finishing and get a qualification and seeing
how good lead to that perspect Stephen,

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00:23:44.440 --> 00:23:49.200
Can I put you on the spot
a little bit and ask h why did

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pastoring not work out? What what
change your mind there or what set you

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in the next direction? Um,
I'm honest, simple answers. Just financis

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00:24:02.119 --> 00:24:06.480
simple. Okay, didn't work out. I didn't have the money too to

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clear and that's just simple. It's
hard to do with what I think doing

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a setback, I think I showed
me that there's a lot of different ways

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to minister. Yeah, and you
said it. I mean there's a saying,

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let's say a setback, so opportunities
or setups regard to show up isn't

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met and where he has you is
ultimately where he wants you to be.

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So of course I wish you are
the very best with that. Thank you

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00:24:32.799 --> 00:24:38.279
so much for sure. Ye Angela, Yeah, you just look like you're

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busting so let me just go to
you. I'm just thinking, you know,

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it's interesting how sometimes where when we
think about ministry and what we're going

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to do, it's really interesting actually
has sometimes we could not to have kind

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of a certain pathway because if that's
the anything. So it's been interesting to

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hear the same actually realization that there
is lots of different ways to minister and

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you know you're calling maybe in something
very different. Now, as Stevens said,

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I've not se him for a long
time. He's a member of Allum

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Stephen from when he was very young
to where he is now Steven. You

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00:25:15.519 --> 00:25:19.720
know, so my experience of Stephen
being a really accomplished speaker, you know,

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passionate on five for Christ everything else. So it's very interesting, you

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00:25:23.599 --> 00:25:27.400
know, for you wanted to go
that path then actually seeing something else because

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00:25:27.720 --> 00:25:30.920
one of the things I like about
you're very relatable and you'll have a really

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00:25:32.000 --> 00:25:34.519
good way of connecting with people.
You know, you're a great speaker.

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00:25:36.000 --> 00:25:37.799
Um, you know, have lots
of you know, really good points and

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really good insights with the raceball.
So I think you know, you shifting

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sort of truck as it were,
to somewhere else. M. Yeah,

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00:25:45.759 --> 00:25:48.359
you know, I'm sure God's gonna
do a great thing. So. Um,

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00:25:48.680 --> 00:25:52.759
So we're talking about brotherhood today,
and I guess I've kind of wanted

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00:25:53.000 --> 00:25:56.240
you know, you're obviously looking around
with you kind of talked to siblings over

335
00:25:56.359 --> 00:26:00.160
last kind of a couple of months
really and look at those connections. Um,

336
00:26:00.480 --> 00:26:06.119
and I invited yourself and your brother
and Andrew's about saying one of your

337
00:26:06.119 --> 00:26:11.960
other brothers there because you were one
of many of the five brothers. Yeah

338
00:26:12.400 --> 00:26:18.400
strong mom? What what what which
one? All? Right? Whatever?

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00:26:18.440 --> 00:26:22.559
Are you oldest, middle number four, okay, and your number five year

340
00:26:23.160 --> 00:26:27.119
okay, So tell us a little
bit about what it's like that I don't

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have a brother, so I don't
know what this like type of brother.

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00:26:30.079 --> 00:26:33.680
I had friends who had brothers,
and I always kind of wanted to just

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00:26:33.799 --> 00:26:36.960
always wanted to an older brother.
And if my friends had older brothers,

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00:26:37.000 --> 00:26:40.079
I'm like, yeah, they're my
older brother too. You know. Obviously

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00:26:40.240 --> 00:26:44.359
male friends are like a class them
as my kind of brothers. But what's

346
00:26:44.400 --> 00:26:52.279
it like having four brothers brother as
well? Want this conversation with you,

347
00:26:52.359 --> 00:27:02.000
Josh oportunity story too much. It's
a fun experience. I've enjoyed that.

348
00:27:02.200 --> 00:27:06.440
I think pois anger. People are
fascinated by the fact that I had four

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00:27:06.519 --> 00:27:11.640
problems that they didn't believe it,
And I think there's a sense of tract

350
00:27:11.799 --> 00:27:15.440
and a sense of privilege there.
I've got three older brothers, and I've

351
00:27:15.440 --> 00:27:21.160
got Andrew results growing upable was proud
to have them. It was very very

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00:27:21.400 --> 00:27:22.720
interesting experience. As I said,
there's a lot of things I can see

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00:27:23.599 --> 00:27:30.960
growing up, these four five of
us together in one room, and at

354
00:27:30.000 --> 00:27:34.119
the surface time I appeared to be
that's a bit crazy. But as brothers,

355
00:27:34.720 --> 00:27:41.000
there was no issue because it was
just jokes, Huma, just stories.

356
00:27:41.119 --> 00:27:44.519
It was just fun every single day, so I didn't see it.

357
00:27:44.559 --> 00:27:48.039
I just anything, and they gative. I was always happy to know that

358
00:27:49.079 --> 00:27:52.519
I had older brothers too to be
the form, especially even I was both

359
00:27:52.559 --> 00:27:56.880
school. I think when I went
to school, of course they recognized me

360
00:27:56.960 --> 00:28:03.359
as Anthony's brother or Genius or Sidon's
brother. There's a level of respect that

361
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they even earned, if that makes
sense, because then you my older brothers

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and I guess what we're saying for
Andrews or when Andrew came to second year

363
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of school. I think Andrew tried
to milk it a bit because Andrew's very

364
00:28:15.480 --> 00:28:21.559
very trump Winson, so the Holy
kids would obviously try to get back at

365
00:28:21.640 --> 00:28:23.759
him, and He's like, no, I've got four older brothers and everyone

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00:28:23.799 --> 00:28:29.400
just needs to be lack at old
Stephen. So I think it was interesting,

367
00:28:29.440 --> 00:28:32.440
it was fun. It was I
can't look at anything they gave up

368
00:28:32.480 --> 00:28:36.599
by it for once. I just
saw that as I've deminished to have three

369
00:28:36.640 --> 00:28:41.960
older brothers, and Andrew with me. The thing is that my three older

370
00:28:41.000 --> 00:28:47.079
brothers they're close in age, so
I think it's just a year apart between

371
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the three and then you've got black
four or five year gap unless meet and

372
00:28:52.640 --> 00:28:57.079
then Andrew. I mean Andrew obviously
two years apart. So our jungle brothers.

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We Reckon asked that there's brown trees, so they are older. They

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00:29:02.759 --> 00:29:07.000
can do this, they can go
places. And I think we understood that.

375
00:29:07.960 --> 00:29:11.079
But I think I yearned too to
be a part of them, Like

376
00:29:11.200 --> 00:29:15.680
it was kind of annoying that there
was this kind of divide. Aware you

377
00:29:15.799 --> 00:29:22.079
got the older three and then he
got made in Aunty and it didn't cause

378
00:29:22.119 --> 00:29:26.039
any problems. But I think in
my heart I just wanted to be more

379
00:29:26.039 --> 00:29:34.240
involved and be more connected. And
I think I'm subconsciously I'm going to be

380
00:29:34.319 --> 00:29:41.160
honest there As a brother, I
kind of I went to counsel when I

381
00:29:41.279 --> 00:29:45.920
was younger, and my counselor asked
me a qussure. She said to me,

382
00:29:47.160 --> 00:29:52.880
where do I fit in in terms
of my brothers? How I describe

383
00:29:52.960 --> 00:30:00.200
my dynamics? And the pressure itself
was very, very thought walking. I

384
00:30:00.279 --> 00:30:03.079
didn't know how to answer you.
But when I was answering the question of

385
00:30:03.160 --> 00:30:06.640
what some emotion, but they didn't
know I was there, if that makes

386
00:30:06.680 --> 00:30:12.000
sense. And as a brother,
I think I probas to know that I'm

387
00:30:12.079 --> 00:30:15.359
dear. I think Andrew will know
that if when you think it's going on,

388
00:30:17.400 --> 00:30:19.799
they call me and vis a versa, that we've got each other's back.

389
00:30:21.519 --> 00:30:26.039
I know that I can call answer
you and I'll just listen. Give

390
00:30:26.119 --> 00:30:30.400
me some advice, give me some
wisdom, Simon and Junior, that we

391
00:30:30.480 --> 00:30:34.839
all have a relationship where we're able
to interact and able to speak. But

392
00:30:34.839 --> 00:30:41.960
at the same time, I've always
yearned to be more of a what's the

393
00:30:41.039 --> 00:30:45.599
word presence, if that makes sense, because I think when they were older,

394
00:30:45.880 --> 00:30:48.839
I would just see, we're just
seeing that the younger brother soul kind

395
00:30:48.839 --> 00:30:52.480
of just like brushed aside. So
I think for me growing up, I

396
00:30:52.640 --> 00:30:59.799
just had this desire to want to
be involved, and outside of that,

397
00:30:59.880 --> 00:31:02.759
I just think it was an amazing
experience. I think that I've been privileged

398
00:31:02.759 --> 00:31:06.839
to have. Yeah, so there
any thing that's come out of that.

399
00:31:06.920 --> 00:31:10.839
You canot say any questions or I
don't mind. So I had one quick

400
00:31:10.920 --> 00:31:14.440
question. So you said, oh, the three other brothers were older,

401
00:31:14.759 --> 00:31:15.799
and then it was like a four, four or five year gap and then

402
00:31:15.839 --> 00:31:21.680
you then you came on then your
younger brother. So that because like you

403
00:31:21.759 --> 00:31:26.279
said there was ahead they left the
house, So was it was it a

404
00:31:26.359 --> 00:31:32.039
point where you was almost like the
head brother in a sense, like when

405
00:31:32.119 --> 00:31:36.240
you was in the house like once
it once the three brothers left. Will

406
00:31:36.279 --> 00:31:40.119
you like the almost consider like the
older brother. Yeah, you can say

407
00:31:40.119 --> 00:31:41.480
that, yeah, because I think
there's a lot of times and my parents

408
00:31:42.119 --> 00:31:48.240
went at home now were my older
brothers. So just me and Andrew Andrew

409
00:31:48.279 --> 00:31:52.319
will off about it now, but
just constant chaos that will be the older

410
00:31:52.359 --> 00:31:56.759
brother and Andrew will be challenging about
for if that makes sense. So if

411
00:31:56.759 --> 00:32:00.519
you find will be obviously not getting
one, but in love, don't there

412
00:32:00.559 --> 00:32:07.160
be times when my mom will come
home and she did door broken, that

413
00:32:07.319 --> 00:32:10.279
block shouted, you would just literally
just not getting long. I'm a mom.

414
00:32:12.039 --> 00:32:14.759
She didn't know how to handle it. She don't know, but I

415
00:32:15.880 --> 00:32:20.680
don't. I don't person don't even
liking. But I just think he was

416
00:32:20.759 --> 00:32:23.319
being being probs just grown together.
She's learning, And I think when we

417
00:32:23.400 --> 00:32:28.359
got older, we began to mature
and actually four more strong ones together.

418
00:32:30.960 --> 00:32:35.039
A couple of weeks ago we had
um Alison was it Alison or Dorothy?

419
00:32:35.920 --> 00:32:37.440
And she made a really good point
to me because I have siblings, and

420
00:32:37.559 --> 00:32:42.400
they siblings fight. You guys,
brothers are gonna fight. Sister brother and

421
00:32:43.279 --> 00:32:45.359
you guys are gonna fight. But
she made a very good point which I've

422
00:32:45.400 --> 00:32:49.839
been trying, and that was,
um, when the s when you guys

423
00:32:49.880 --> 00:32:53.920
are fighting, don't don't intervene.
Let you all figure it out long as

424
00:32:53.960 --> 00:32:58.920
no harm coming to you both,
like you're not physically harming each other.

425
00:32:59.279 --> 00:33:00.839
And I mean, I know you
said you broke some things, but like

426
00:33:01.200 --> 00:33:06.000
to just let you figure it out, because sometimes as parents we were just

427
00:33:06.160 --> 00:33:08.599
so quick to jump in and be
like stop or don't do that. But

428
00:33:09.039 --> 00:33:13.480
and because I think you're gonna fight, because that's just a sibling thing,

429
00:33:13.720 --> 00:33:17.920
that's a brother thing. And I
think by you're doing that, like you

430
00:33:19.000 --> 00:33:22.359
said, I believe it would make
you guys stronger in the in the long

431
00:33:22.480 --> 00:33:24.119
run. Because you don't remember those
You probably sit back and laugh at some

432
00:33:24.200 --> 00:33:27.960
of those things that you you know, I remember when you broke this.

433
00:33:28.160 --> 00:33:30.440
Why did you break that? That
was really dumb of you to break that,

434
00:33:30.599 --> 00:33:34.279
like you know, Like so,
I think it just builds that bond

435
00:33:34.400 --> 00:33:40.079
as we're talking about with brotherhood.
I just I'm just amazed it's your mom.

436
00:33:40.319 --> 00:33:43.279
I mean, I would love to
meet her. She's got to be

437
00:33:43.359 --> 00:33:46.799
a because yeah, because you have
five boys. Oh my goodness, I've

438
00:33:46.839 --> 00:33:52.759
got water. And I tell you
boys are easy though, right, maybe

439
00:33:52.759 --> 00:33:59.039
because I'm a guy to me that
easy. My boys, My boys are,

440
00:33:59.839 --> 00:34:01.359
My boys are cool. There are
times when the boys, you know,

441
00:34:01.720 --> 00:34:07.400
they're coming into their own tests junior. Now then you got the girls,

442
00:34:07.480 --> 00:34:08.480
who you know, they come into
their own as well. So I

443
00:34:08.519 --> 00:34:14.280
think it's different phases and girls come
and different children. But you don't realize

444
00:34:14.320 --> 00:34:17.159
girls come sooner. Possibly, no, no, not possibly they come So

445
00:34:17.360 --> 00:34:22.519
I'm living proof. Okay, my
thirteen year old thinks she always tells my

446
00:34:22.639 --> 00:34:25.199
fifteen year old I'm the boss of
you. She you know, she thinks

447
00:34:25.239 --> 00:34:30.519
she's the oldest. So they come
in faster. So it's a lot,

448
00:34:30.639 --> 00:34:36.760
you know. But Stephen, you
were talking about the the the gap in

449
00:34:36.840 --> 00:34:43.039
age between your oldest older brothers and
yourself. Um, do you think that

450
00:34:43.400 --> 00:34:49.960
that impacts of the relationship so much
so that you may not even recommend that

451
00:34:50.280 --> 00:34:53.760
or you think that there might be
a if you're talking about brotherhood, do

452
00:34:53.880 --> 00:35:00.079
you think that there would be a
difference in connecting between ages. Do do

453
00:35:00.199 --> 00:35:06.039
you think that like people or men
need to be able similar same age to

454
00:35:06.119 --> 00:35:10.440
be able to connect or you think
you can bridge that that gap. I

455
00:35:10.480 --> 00:35:15.719
don't think age is really your issue
of just saying it was just a natural

456
00:35:15.760 --> 00:35:21.119
thing to happen in a sense where
because they were older, n actually they

457
00:35:21.159 --> 00:35:28.000
will have more privileges or possibility don't
make sense. But I think when we

458
00:35:28.119 --> 00:35:32.480
got older, I was able to
be intentional to actually form a relationship,

459
00:35:32.519 --> 00:35:38.599
if that makes sense heard the story. Actually, remember I was in my

460
00:35:38.639 --> 00:35:45.079
first major relationship with a girl.
These are going you can going okay,

461
00:35:45.280 --> 00:35:51.920
but then at the same time,
full to myself, it's a really what

462
00:35:52.039 --> 00:35:55.840
I want to do basically, so
you're thinking about it, just split enough

463
00:35:55.920 --> 00:36:02.079
basically. And I remember I was
house and we were talking about the situation,

464
00:36:02.519 --> 00:36:07.239
and I was clearing my mind that
I wanted to basically very up and

465
00:36:07.400 --> 00:36:12.880
you started crying, and we think
for the first time, this was my

466
00:36:12.960 --> 00:36:16.800
first major relationship, and I kind
of felt black saying for her an emotional

467
00:36:16.840 --> 00:36:22.119
sort of thing. And I remember
I called an older brother and Paul Junior,

468
00:36:23.079 --> 00:36:27.440
and I told him the situation.
I don't think of this dame on

469
00:36:27.559 --> 00:36:30.480
life. He said to him,
are you sure that you don't want to

470
00:36:30.519 --> 00:36:34.599
do this and said to him,
I'm pretty sure. And he said to

471
00:36:34.760 --> 00:36:40.960
me, even though she's crying to
even sometimes girls put on crooked outis when

472
00:36:42.039 --> 00:36:45.079
he said that started. My eyes
literally were open for the first time.

473
00:36:45.199 --> 00:36:47.440
It's like I was very very naive. I didn't really think I was even

474
00:36:47.519 --> 00:36:52.039
possible. Don't makes sense, And
it was just sincere I'm not saying she

475
00:36:52.199 --> 00:36:57.920
wasn't, Branson said, but just
the thought of the fact that I could

476
00:36:57.960 --> 00:37:01.840
be getting played here, I could
be getting literally I find experience to be

477
00:37:02.000 --> 00:37:07.920
very very needed for me because older
brothers, he's experienced more than I am,

478
00:37:07.239 --> 00:37:12.400
is going through the situations. So
just that conversation. But the first

479
00:37:12.400 --> 00:37:16.559
time I made me wiser. It's
a laugh, and that situations kind of

480
00:37:16.559 --> 00:37:22.480
happened, but just being more careful
and just trying to think and have an

481
00:37:22.480 --> 00:37:27.199
older brother in that respect, it
was it was a blessed because they've obviously

482
00:37:28.079 --> 00:37:32.119
lived life. They're going through situations
and problems and whoever it may be solved.

483
00:37:32.159 --> 00:37:37.000
Then being able to talk to me
and give the advice, you know,

484
00:37:37.039 --> 00:37:40.519
a second tim of experience. So
oh that makes sense. Yeah,

485
00:37:42.360 --> 00:37:46.000
and you've you've exactly pointed out what
what the benefits are of having different ages

486
00:37:46.320 --> 00:37:51.679
bond and and and the link together
is that you can tap into the wisdom

487
00:37:52.559 --> 00:37:57.960
um of you know, the elders
sort of stake and that's yeah, m

488
00:37:58.280 --> 00:38:05.119
crocodile ty is you do it all
the time. Oh you have. It's

489
00:38:05.159 --> 00:38:10.000
definitely a possible, not even a
possibility, not even a possibility more than

490
00:38:10.079 --> 00:38:19.440
a fist angeles. You know,
you know, I don't you know You're

491
00:38:19.480 --> 00:38:25.400
more than crocodile tears. Yeah,
definitely, definitely. It's just my opinion

492
00:38:29.079 --> 00:38:30.719
the things that you kind of you
know, what you've been able to have,

493
00:38:31.000 --> 00:38:36.000
especially having older brothers, Um,
what have been the key soup?

494
00:38:36.079 --> 00:38:40.519
It's qualities or things that you have
gleaned or learned from your brothers. And

495
00:38:40.760 --> 00:38:44.800
you know, as we said that
the age is maybe not necessarily made a

496
00:38:44.880 --> 00:38:47.639
difference. It's just different insights into
different areas, different things. But would

497
00:38:47.639 --> 00:38:51.559
have been some of the key things
that you said, right, Okay,

498
00:38:51.760 --> 00:38:55.960
because I have four brothers, I've
specifically things because I guess what I'm think

499
00:38:55.960 --> 00:39:00.000
going to go on too is how
does that equate to otherhood in general?

500
00:39:00.480 --> 00:39:06.079
And men connected with men, other
men and love life. Yeah, So

501
00:39:06.400 --> 00:39:10.519
I think I've been able to pick
the positive and LEGI if that makes sense.

502
00:39:12.400 --> 00:39:15.880
For example, all the brothers still
be the first to admit that give

503
00:39:15.920 --> 00:39:22.679
me some mistakes, but they've been
gone bore enough to allow me into over

504
00:39:22.719 --> 00:39:27.000
mistakes and allow me to to listen. We have the open a short in

505
00:39:27.039 --> 00:39:32.719
certain areas, so I'm able to
to see their own example, I thought,

506
00:39:32.760 --> 00:39:37.679
can happen if you decail things or
if you all a certain both,

507
00:39:37.760 --> 00:39:42.360
if that needs sense. So I've
been able to get an insight just based

508
00:39:42.400 --> 00:39:45.360
on urbable communication, just being honest, being open. She's talking about life,

509
00:39:45.400 --> 00:39:52.199
and you're talking about whether they've been
the setbacks even the good things.

510
00:39:52.400 --> 00:39:58.039
So for example, anteing you for
example, or major inspiration in terms of

511
00:39:58.920 --> 00:40:01.679
my decision to you to be um
or past it in the first place.

512
00:40:01.960 --> 00:40:09.000
Just seeing his ambition, seeing his
determination um a lot wasn't easy for able

513
00:40:09.000 --> 00:40:14.280
to to do at that time as
well. But I'm just seeing him do

514
00:40:14.360 --> 00:40:16.880
it just gave me a sentive if
you can do it, then of course

515
00:40:17.519 --> 00:40:22.559
I mean it'll do the same.
So I've just been able to take the

516
00:40:22.639 --> 00:40:24.679
kid in the bad or not see
the bad as anything bad, but to

517
00:40:24.800 --> 00:40:30.000
see it as I listen, see
it as something that's happened, but just

518
00:40:30.119 --> 00:40:34.119
know fully and be able to yeah, try and see your own life,

519
00:40:34.920 --> 00:40:38.679
I think as I'm probably I think
one of the most earning things for me,

520
00:40:38.719 --> 00:40:45.559
if I've been honestly, it's it's
being vulnerable, just being honest about

521
00:40:45.599 --> 00:40:52.920
your feelings and about what hasn't gone
right and the misstates and stuff. To

522
00:40:52.039 --> 00:40:54.760
be able to get to that point, I think it's very very difficult because

523
00:40:55.880 --> 00:41:00.119
if if it's going to work effectively
and any to be able to present myself

524
00:41:00.280 --> 00:41:06.320
was very very vulnerable, and it's
honest. This is why I am.

525
00:41:07.280 --> 00:41:09.599
This is in my mind, is
this is where I'm struggling. And I

526
00:41:09.679 --> 00:41:15.119
think that as a brother there needs
to be a level of openness and all

527
00:41:15.159 --> 00:41:17.679
that there's a level of fear and
all that men naturally have a fair to

528
00:41:20.360 --> 00:41:23.559
to open up to delve. I
think we have this in the desire to

529
00:41:24.880 --> 00:41:30.039
just get things done, to just
meet one to just take our stops up

530
00:41:30.079 --> 00:41:31.880
and just keep it moving, if
that makes sense. But in terms of

531
00:41:32.000 --> 00:41:37.599
being a brotherated, I think even
relation to being a farmer, I'm learning

532
00:41:37.679 --> 00:41:44.679
that I can't be a father while
to support uple farms, if that makes

533
00:41:44.679 --> 00:41:49.840
sense covers. I just think it's
very, very difficult sometimes and the moments

534
00:41:49.880 --> 00:41:54.280
that I find hard, it would
be good for me to connect with Farcus.

535
00:41:54.320 --> 00:41:58.880
You're home for the same thing,
which totaly makes sense because it's if

536
00:41:58.880 --> 00:42:00.719
I'm by myself, it means that
I'm just having this manself. You know

537
00:42:00.800 --> 00:42:06.239
what, it's hard work. Then
you just keep on cracking on and I

538
00:42:06.320 --> 00:42:09.119
can do that. But internally things
were just going up and it will come

539
00:42:09.159 --> 00:42:12.960
out in different ways. So I
think for me in terms of being a

540
00:42:13.039 --> 00:42:15.079
brother and just brought it. In
general, I think one of the key

541
00:42:15.159 --> 00:42:25.119
components is the willingness to be honest
and show yourself and let yourself be seen.

542
00:42:25.920 --> 00:42:30.440
And even though I'm trying to be
that person, there's times when they're

543
00:42:30.440 --> 00:42:35.519
still find it difficult because sometimes it's
just hard to present yourself as naked and

544
00:42:36.679 --> 00:42:37.639
raw. This is your young,
this is why young, this is what

545
00:42:37.719 --> 00:42:43.239
I'm going through, this is my
shovels. It's not easy, but someone's

546
00:42:43.239 --> 00:42:49.119
gonna be willing to to make the
first step, and yeah, just be

547
00:42:49.239 --> 00:42:52.559
open and just show yourself and then
yourself be seen. That's gonna be my

548
00:42:52.760 --> 00:42:58.719
my one of my thoughts because,
like we said, you had the interview

549
00:42:58.800 --> 00:43:01.719
last week, you was really talking
about that how you had you had to

550
00:43:01.800 --> 00:43:07.360
find yourself and you had to let
God lead you. And I for me

551
00:43:07.519 --> 00:43:12.960
personally, I know, like I
believe in just being transparent and being truthful

552
00:43:12.960 --> 00:43:15.400
and just putting it out there,
even when you know it may hurt somebody.

553
00:43:16.440 --> 00:43:22.000
Um do you But I find sometimes
because the society or the world it's

554
00:43:22.079 --> 00:43:29.159
not ready for men to be so
forthcoming? Do you find it sometimes to

555
00:43:29.239 --> 00:43:34.119
be difficult when your dealings with your
brothers or with anybody in your family and

556
00:43:34.320 --> 00:43:38.079
that or in your brotherhood, in
your in your in your social network,

557
00:43:38.159 --> 00:43:43.320
like because like they know you,
but it still doesn't mean that they accept

558
00:43:43.400 --> 00:43:46.719
it. Sometimes like they still think
you maybe maybe a little extra or maybe

559
00:43:47.079 --> 00:43:54.559
you're you know you can you can
pull back a little bit as an even

560
00:43:54.599 --> 00:44:00.760
though about more problems and to a
degree you have a little relationship. I

561
00:44:00.880 --> 00:44:02.679
know that it could be more.
And I know that you don't believe know

562
00:44:02.840 --> 00:44:07.079
the full extent as to when my
life is and I think it is hard.

563
00:44:07.159 --> 00:44:12.880
It's hard to given to my own
brothers two hundreds an exceptional books.

564
00:44:12.920 --> 00:44:15.880
I think naturally where closer in age
and we've always been again us so be

565
00:44:15.920 --> 00:44:20.880
easy for me to see to and
you listen having a bad day to day

566
00:44:21.480 --> 00:44:24.079
or this has got long today,
But in general, yeah, it's definitely

567
00:44:24.159 --> 00:44:30.519
you hard to open up and be
honest to the bar in reality a way

568
00:44:30.559 --> 00:44:36.079
you are. I think for me
as a person, very very calm,

569
00:44:36.159 --> 00:44:39.079
temperate minutes. So I've got four
brothers. As you get suffer, then

570
00:44:39.360 --> 00:44:44.679
all of us have different dynamics.
And I'm also if you've been to church

571
00:44:44.760 --> 00:44:50.400
before and there's a discussion for a
y and you've got the deacon with the

572
00:44:50.480 --> 00:44:53.639
mind going on around to see anybody's
got a point to share. Seeing my

573
00:44:53.880 --> 00:45:00.440
house there nod can going around to
make sure that point. So being hurt

574
00:45:00.639 --> 00:45:05.800
that makes sense. Lets unless you
have that mindset to just get in there,

575
00:45:06.599 --> 00:45:10.159
you won't really get hurt. And
I wasn't a person to basically get

576
00:45:10.239 --> 00:45:14.800
in there. I was the person
that would wait to put the silence,

577
00:45:15.440 --> 00:45:19.320
But then the silence will come,
someone else will get the first. There

578
00:45:19.320 --> 00:45:22.360
would just be a cycle. So
for a long time I always had this

579
00:45:22.440 --> 00:45:25.159
mandset where I didn't before I had
a voice, I didn't really feel like

580
00:45:25.280 --> 00:45:30.199
I had I don't know an opportunity
to to speak or to share, and

581
00:45:30.280 --> 00:45:37.079
I think subconsciously definitely didn't impact how
I treated my RELATIONSHIPIP of the men.

582
00:45:37.800 --> 00:45:39.800
But I didn't really feel like I
had an opinion or I had like a

583
00:45:40.679 --> 00:45:45.920
I had thinks to say, and
as felt like I was invisible, so

584
00:45:45.039 --> 00:45:47.639
to speak. I didn't really feel
like I didn't feel the contribute, if

585
00:45:47.679 --> 00:45:51.960
that makes sense. Because I've got
an older obviously, I've been able to

586
00:45:52.840 --> 00:45:57.599
work on some things or to counsel
and just work on myself and become aware

587
00:45:57.639 --> 00:46:00.679
of certain stuff, which is kid. But for a long time about strugle

588
00:46:00.719 --> 00:46:06.079
with that, A struggle with believing
that what I've got says I'm poor.

589
00:46:06.679 --> 00:46:09.599
I didn't always believe that, which
is why from Handela might Tony, she

590
00:46:09.760 --> 00:46:14.159
might say, you're on the surface, Steven a pass to be quiet person.

591
00:46:15.039 --> 00:46:20.320
That label literally gets from around all
the time. Stephen Squire, Stephens

592
00:46:20.360 --> 00:46:23.639
this and certain extent that may be
true. Well, deep down I've got

593
00:46:23.679 --> 00:46:28.000
a lot of things to say.
Does that makes sense? Just that I

594
00:46:28.159 --> 00:46:32.639
wasn't given an opportunity to really delve
an express and be myself. So I

595
00:46:32.719 --> 00:46:37.760
struggled that a lot. Because things
are just building up, and I didn't

596
00:46:37.760 --> 00:46:45.679
know how to communicate or to express
what's going from soul. Definitely hard me

597
00:46:45.840 --> 00:46:47.719
personal. For me, a person
that's quiet is not a bad thing.

598
00:46:49.639 --> 00:46:52.000
I mean, I know you're talking
about in the sense of you wasn't allowed,

599
00:46:52.440 --> 00:46:57.079
but also being quiet, I find
people are quiet went out. When

600
00:46:57.119 --> 00:47:00.920
you're quiet, you're more observant.
Yeah yeah, and so you're paying more

601
00:47:00.960 --> 00:47:04.840
attention. And then you only you
speak, you get more get you're hurt

602
00:47:05.480 --> 00:47:07.639
better because when you speak, then
people listen because they you know, you

603
00:47:07.719 --> 00:47:12.800
don't always like somebody's just always talking. You kind of you kind of tune

604
00:47:12.800 --> 00:47:15.280
them out after a while if they
just keep talking and talking and talking and

605
00:47:15.400 --> 00:47:19.119
talking, you know, but when
they when they quiet, but they speak,

606
00:47:19.159 --> 00:47:22.880
when they the impact is much better. It's much stronger, it's much

607
00:47:23.000 --> 00:47:28.760
more accepted when you know. So
I think quiet it is not that bad

608
00:47:28.800 --> 00:47:30.760
of a thing. It's just how
you utilize it. But I understand what

609
00:47:30.760 --> 00:47:34.760
we was talking about, Like you
was you felt like you wasn't able to

610
00:47:34.800 --> 00:47:39.880
express the way you wanted to sometimes, so you just express it. I

611
00:47:40.000 --> 00:47:44.239
never heard of that way before.
I make sense. I just sweet being

612
00:47:44.320 --> 00:47:47.639
quiet something negative? Oh no,
see to me. To me, I

613
00:47:47.639 --> 00:47:52.039
always thought I was thought it was
positive. See, that's that's what I'm

614
00:47:52.039 --> 00:47:55.519
saying as motherhood as men, you
know, I honestly I always thought because

615
00:47:55.599 --> 00:48:00.360
I'm quiet, I'm actually I like
to talk, but I'm quiet. But

616
00:48:00.519 --> 00:48:05.239
I observe, so I'm always white. I could I'm watching things unravel.

617
00:48:06.039 --> 00:48:08.360
Growing up in the church, and
I've been to many church has been the

618
00:48:08.400 --> 00:48:12.840
big church of small churches, and
I guess I just got that from my

619
00:48:12.920 --> 00:48:17.440
mom and my father, just always
observing and just watching other folks. And

620
00:48:19.960 --> 00:48:23.079
then you can kind of not saying
I'm always right, because I'm not perfect,

621
00:48:23.159 --> 00:48:25.639
so I'm not always right, but
you could just kind of get a

622
00:48:25.719 --> 00:48:30.039
feel like okay, you know,
yeah, you know, you could get

623
00:48:30.079 --> 00:48:34.280
that feel of each person. So
I think quiet is a good thing.

624
00:48:34.360 --> 00:48:36.199
I would never think of it.
I would. I would never want you

625
00:48:36.199 --> 00:48:37.360
to think of it as being negative. Look at it as a positive,

626
00:48:37.840 --> 00:48:44.960
because because that's you know. And
interestingly, I think that maybe something I

627
00:48:45.000 --> 00:48:49.519
would say from an observation kind of
seeing your brothers and the dynamics and drinking

628
00:48:49.679 --> 00:48:55.320
kind of a ministry, I think
actually saying it's different, maybe you have

629
00:48:55.360 --> 00:48:59.639
different expectations of people. But if
you're perceptionally you are very quiet, I

630
00:48:59.719 --> 00:49:05.280
think then when you speak and incredibly
powerful, I think that's as impactful of

631
00:49:05.400 --> 00:49:09.960
others who maybe more you know,
upbeat or I'm gonna say not your dynamics.

632
00:49:10.000 --> 00:49:12.679
It's not a question of that.
Maybe I can't get the right way

633
00:49:12.679 --> 00:49:15.159
to describe that. But actually you
have such deep insight that you're just like

634
00:49:15.400 --> 00:49:21.599
whoa okay, okay, which I
think makes you incredibly relatable. Like I

635
00:49:21.679 --> 00:49:23.960
said before, So it's an interesting
yeah, because actually, as ed you's

636
00:49:23.960 --> 00:49:25.719
saying that, I was thinking,
yeah, that's so true, that's so

637
00:49:25.840 --> 00:49:30.679
true. But again, but you
know what's really what was really nice there?

638
00:49:30.320 --> 00:49:35.519
That's and again this is about connection. It's about how you interact with

639
00:49:35.639 --> 00:49:38.960
each other. It's a support and
actually can give different insights people, the

640
00:49:39.039 --> 00:49:42.880
lives of other men and stuff.
But sometimes a point on as you were

641
00:49:42.920 --> 00:49:45.960
saying, in terms of with your
brothers, and maybe this is sometimes you

642
00:49:46.199 --> 00:49:51.039
know it talked about being vulnerable and
sometimes a fear of being open and honest.

643
00:49:51.280 --> 00:49:55.440
Do you think there's a level of
competition as it were, and maybe

644
00:49:55.519 --> 00:49:59.440
within you know, you've got four
brothers and more buying you for a place

645
00:49:59.519 --> 00:50:02.719
as it were, and maybe doing
similar things with different things, and as

646
00:50:02.800 --> 00:50:06.760
much as it may work with each
other, for instance, you may want

647
00:50:06.760 --> 00:50:09.000
to do different things. And do
you think that's maybe an issue that men

648
00:50:09.079 --> 00:50:15.480
symptoms have because there is that competitive
nature to be something, to be heard,

649
00:50:15.760 --> 00:50:20.679
seen, et cetera, which might
stop people from the well, that's

650
00:50:20.719 --> 00:50:23.280
that's a good question. I think
you'll say that two big yeah. I

651
00:50:23.360 --> 00:50:30.719
think. I think as men,
there's natural don't no comparison to that work,

652
00:50:30.119 --> 00:50:37.280
but sometimes we comparisons to other men
that make sense. We want to

653
00:50:37.320 --> 00:50:40.280
be the best on what we do. So if someone's wants to level,

654
00:50:40.360 --> 00:50:47.800
there's that natural desire to rise and
to want to be beaver, which in

655
00:50:47.880 --> 00:50:55.800
a healthy way is good. But
if done in a way which compromises key

656
00:50:55.880 --> 00:51:00.800
want your core, that's a different
situation that makes sense. Like for example,

657
00:51:01.760 --> 00:51:08.840
Andrew's very very dynamic, especially in
the younger days, like Firetrucker just

658
00:51:09.159 --> 00:51:14.239
fifth gear. Even when he speaks, it's just like it's in fifth gear.

659
00:51:14.880 --> 00:51:20.440
I remember remember watching him in a
sermon one time, and I remember

660
00:51:20.760 --> 00:51:23.599
the congregation that were just like into
the sermon and stuff like that, and

661
00:51:24.039 --> 00:51:29.360
for the first time I thought to
myself, maybe I've got a change my

662
00:51:29.480 --> 00:51:36.800
style and change change my my approaches. That makes sense, and remember my

663
00:51:36.960 --> 00:51:42.119
next sermon, try to do that. I tried to do my best invitation

664
00:51:42.199 --> 00:51:45.239
of how Andrew speaks and if I'm
honesty, it was a very, very

665
00:51:46.199 --> 00:51:50.280
fringeriest thing I've ever done because I
really looked at a moment. Now,

666
00:51:51.039 --> 00:51:53.119
I can only be true to myself. I can only be through I am.

667
00:51:54.079 --> 00:51:57.679
But I needed the experience to learn
that. I needed to go through

668
00:51:57.760 --> 00:52:00.719
that to be but to see,
you know what, Steven likeybody's got there.

669
00:52:00.639 --> 00:52:05.880
They think everybody's got there their gift, their their style, their different

670
00:52:05.920 --> 00:52:10.039
gifts and abilities and so ab so
just embrace pre war. I don't try

671
00:52:10.079 --> 00:52:13.559
to be anybody else, you know
what I mean? So thing for me

672
00:52:13.800 --> 00:52:19.280
as a man, I think it's
naturally sometimes because you're exposed to certain things,

673
00:52:19.400 --> 00:52:22.280
to society, you see certain things. But I think I'm learning even

674
00:52:22.360 --> 00:52:27.760
now it's a speak. I just
got to embrace who I am and be

675
00:52:27.880 --> 00:52:34.000
comfortable in that and to be okay
with it and accept it. Like I

676
00:52:34.119 --> 00:52:37.639
know a lot of times I might
want people to accept who I am,

677
00:52:37.679 --> 00:52:39.400
which is good, But I think
first of all, I need to accept

678
00:52:39.480 --> 00:52:45.400
myself and accept pym with my gifts
and own what I'm able to do.

679
00:52:45.079 --> 00:52:47.199
And for a long time I didn't
really believe in myself, you know what

680
00:52:47.199 --> 00:52:52.079
I mean. So I think for
me, yeah, I think it's play

681
00:52:52.119 --> 00:52:53.559
a part one hundred percent. Think
for me, I just had to learn

682
00:52:53.639 --> 00:53:00.280
to Rebattratsky. Yeah, just be
who I am. And I think I'm

683
00:53:00.320 --> 00:53:02.960
being Joi Young. That's the best
that can be. I'm gonna being someone

684
00:53:04.039 --> 00:53:07.000
else. It's just like it's just
a shame, shame old, just like

685
00:53:07.119 --> 00:53:13.159
everybody else, don't I answer your
question? Well, yeah, yeah,

686
00:53:14.000 --> 00:53:16.480
yeah it does. And you know
it's a good example that you give.

687
00:53:16.519 --> 00:53:21.960
Actually, and you know, I
think more time you take to find out

688
00:53:22.000 --> 00:53:24.840
who you are and you know,
working too, you are and you can

689
00:53:24.960 --> 00:53:29.360
be all the better. Um,
I guess it's fun. We're gonna go

690
00:53:29.400 --> 00:53:31.159
for We're gonna go for a music
break. I guess what would you how

691
00:53:31.239 --> 00:53:37.519
would you encourage other men to be
able to do that? Um, we'll

692
00:53:37.599 --> 00:53:42.840
do that? Well, okay,
okay, how that thought? Yeah,

693
00:53:42.880 --> 00:53:45.199
we're gonna we're gonna go to a
break. Hold that thought, We're gonna

694
00:53:45.239 --> 00:53:50.840
go to a break and they will
come back. You just saying this Blessed

695
00:53:50.840 --> 00:54:05.679
Me by Maverick Ciriy Maddick's Maverick City
Music featuring Kurt Franklin. To bless Me,

696
00:54:07.039 --> 00:54:10.280
Sleep, bless me, bless me
got to me and this baby defeat

697
00:54:10.360 --> 00:54:15.440
the years I mean to read.
Bless me, bless me not just swummy,

698
00:54:15.760 --> 00:54:20.719
But so everyone around me can't have
everything they knowld the school, let

699
00:54:20.800 --> 00:54:24.639
all the sous thats me gotta have
everything they need to get. Bless me,

700
00:54:25.000 --> 00:54:30.679
bless me out this game, defeat
the years I need to read.

701
00:54:30.920 --> 00:54:36.000
Don't bless me, bless me,
gonna just swumming, But so everyone around

702
00:54:36.079 --> 00:54:38.639
me can't have everything that hold the
food, that all the soosters, you

703
00:54:38.760 --> 00:54:49.480
can't get up everything call me alun
the conversationine alone my enemy, swell favor

704
00:54:49.880 --> 00:54:54.039
favor, gona just sleep. But
so everyone around me can't have everything that

705
00:54:54.199 --> 00:55:02.480
all the school, that all he
sosts met, every God, allow the

706
00:55:02.559 --> 00:55:09.920
conversation shine the enemy favors God,
that your sunny, but so every water

707
00:55:10.360 --> 00:55:23.960
we can't have everything. And who
this counts me this week? Come snee

708
00:55:24.639 --> 00:55:29.400
me got that just sunny, But
so it ever be find around me can't

709
00:55:30.280 --> 00:55:34.320
and all the storming all hoss.
We got him again, and all the

710
00:55:34.440 --> 00:55:57.239
sto all the hoss, the allosters
men rush you and out of the band

711
00:55:57.280 --> 00:56:04.599
the feet. We criticized her,
mistaken me because by the promise keeping,

712
00:56:06.199 --> 00:56:13.920
I've got it to ricord. I
should live in my did because your home

713
00:56:14.039 --> 00:56:17.440
was by my side. I didn't
tell you he's a friend of mine.

714
00:56:20.320 --> 00:56:24.400
Lift them up and lift them up, take it up, take it off.

715
00:56:27.400 --> 00:56:31.079
Can't get up, take it off. He can't get up, take

716
00:56:31.159 --> 00:56:42.920
it up. Yeah, telling him
I never again, he's never about man.

717
00:56:45.079 --> 00:56:52.639
Every child ever WI black. When
I went black, w black women

718
00:56:52.000 --> 00:57:09.280
man wop we black women were black
women. Manly happen. We gotta have

719
00:57:09.639 --> 00:57:23.280
that wed. We got har down, we got hampered down. We can't

720
00:57:23.320 --> 00:57:46.480
everything were dad. We got the
happer, red hammering a red happeras that's

721
00:57:49.400 --> 00:57:58.039
see, bless me, bless me
out to read, lets me less meet

722
00:57:58.719 --> 00:58:25.440
me must away. So we're back
at talking point with myself, Pajo,

723
00:58:25.559 --> 00:58:30.639
Angela and Zenia, and I guess
speaker Steven's follow We've been talking to our

724
00:58:30.679 --> 00:58:36.280
brotherhood and Zenia had a question.
So I'm my thought to Zenia so she

725
00:58:36.360 --> 00:58:38.280
can ask the question that she actually
asked at the beginning of the program.

726
00:58:38.400 --> 00:58:42.639
I asked it at the top of
the program and I'm asking it again because

727
00:58:42.679 --> 00:58:47.519
our listeners quiet wanting to hear from
your studio at Adventist Radio dot London or

728
00:58:47.719 --> 00:58:53.360
text eight triple to eight hope,
leave a space and then your answer,

729
00:58:53.559 --> 00:59:00.079
perhaps why is there a reluctance for
men to seek support? And we've touched

730
00:59:00.119 --> 00:59:05.320
on it during the interview that we're
having in the conversation we're having with Steven,

731
00:59:05.360 --> 00:59:08.280
So thank you so much for sharing, Stephen and being so transparent and

732
00:59:08.400 --> 00:59:15.719
honest. But one of the things
that comes to mind is you mentioned competition

733
00:59:15.960 --> 00:59:22.119
and the fact that you know sometimes
men aren't willing to talk because then it's

734
00:59:22.159 --> 00:59:27.880
seen as they're not good enough,
or because they're competing and trying to better,

735
00:59:27.920 --> 00:59:30.039
to be better than the other man. Then there's no there's no camaraderie,

736
00:59:30.719 --> 00:59:36.559
there's no coming together. Um.
But we've spoken about it time and

737
00:59:36.639 --> 00:59:40.760
time again about the roles in society
and how our men are often told to

738
00:59:40.920 --> 00:59:46.679
man up, boys don't cry.
Emotions are reserved for women and whims,

739
00:59:47.199 --> 00:59:53.760
so our men don't often speak because
of that, and um, not only

740
00:59:53.800 --> 00:59:57.719
do they not cry, but yes, they don't they don't speak. And

741
00:59:59.719 --> 01:00:05.920
for me, I think brotherhood is
important because it allows you you spoke about

742
01:00:05.960 --> 01:00:09.199
that, Stephen, the fact that
you had your brothers and particular Andrew who

743
01:00:09.320 --> 01:00:13.800
was closest to you, that you
felt you could open up to, and

744
01:00:14.039 --> 01:00:16.599
that in itself being such a blessing
because so many men don't feel that they

745
01:00:16.679 --> 01:00:22.239
can be honest and open with anyone. And that's so so important. And

746
01:00:22.800 --> 01:00:27.760
you know that's I've got I've got
Pedrol laughing in the background. I'm not

747
01:00:27.800 --> 01:00:30.440
sure what he wants to say,
but he's basting to say something, and

748
01:00:30.639 --> 01:00:37.639
so hold on, Pedro, not
quite done yet. And the fact that

749
01:00:38.320 --> 01:00:43.679
sometimes men and hopefully we'll get to
that as well as as we talk about

750
01:00:43.679 --> 01:00:47.360
the significance of Christian brotherhood, but
it's the ability for our men to find

751
01:00:47.800 --> 01:00:52.239
proper support, because often they find
support in the wrong things, whether it's

752
01:00:52.280 --> 01:01:00.400
sex or drugs or alcohol or or
so many other false support systems that then

753
01:01:00.960 --> 01:01:08.519
perpetuates the problem. So yes,
we see the significance of having brotherhood,

754
01:01:08.639 --> 01:01:14.519
and maybe in particular Christian brotherhood,
because it provides that safe space for men

755
01:01:14.639 --> 01:01:21.119
to be open. You know,
competition aside weakness, it's not seen as

756
01:01:21.199 --> 01:01:23.440
weakness. It's seen as strength to
be able to open up and to be

757
01:01:23.559 --> 01:01:28.199
honest and to be transparent and to
say, you know what, I'm struggling

758
01:01:28.280 --> 01:01:31.320
with something. And Steve, when
you mentioned struggling with parenting and how it

759
01:01:31.480 --> 01:01:36.800
was so important for you to find
other men who are fathers to tap into

760
01:01:37.559 --> 01:01:42.199
and speak with and understand the dynamics
of it, and how much difference it

761
01:01:42.360 --> 01:01:45.480
made for you in that journey.
So yeah, the question is being sent

762
01:01:45.599 --> 01:01:50.119
out to those of our listeners who
want to chime in, if they've thought

763
01:01:50.159 --> 01:01:52.199
of something different to what I have
said, or if they want to echo

764
01:01:52.320 --> 01:02:00.239
that. Why do our men fed
you're coming to you're having I mean,

765
01:02:00.679 --> 01:02:04.800
why is there reluctance for our men
to speak? And Pedro's gonna do you

766
01:02:04.840 --> 01:02:09.199
mind if I go first? This
is something that we have been debating since

767
01:02:09.239 --> 01:02:15.320
I met them, and I tried
to explain to them it's just like me

768
01:02:15.440 --> 01:02:20.840
trying to figure out a woman and
have emotions. And like you said,

769
01:02:21.280 --> 01:02:24.719
and I don't mean they're in a
bad way, but met over the years

770
01:02:24.960 --> 01:02:30.440
and it's worse now. Actually,
it's really worse now because now men are

771
01:02:30.480 --> 01:02:36.360
being the mess. What's the words
um mask in Italy is not something that

772
01:02:36.639 --> 01:02:40.360
is even taught anymore, has totally
been taken away. But it's hard for

773
01:02:40.440 --> 01:02:47.400
men to be truthful because when and
I'm gonna talk from experience with my wife,

774
01:02:47.480 --> 01:02:51.679
if I say if in the beginning
of my marriage, when I say

775
01:02:51.719 --> 01:02:55.119
something to her, she would just
dismiss it. She would say, I'm

776
01:02:55.199 --> 01:02:59.840
you're in your feelings. Oh you
you know, you're just you know.

777
01:03:00.119 --> 01:03:01.559
So you hear that. As a
men, you hear that, just like

778
01:03:01.679 --> 01:03:05.920
Stephen was saying how he took it
as a negative. We had it as

779
01:03:05.920 --> 01:03:07.960
a positive, but he took it
as a negative of like where he is

780
01:03:08.000 --> 01:03:13.400
being where he's silent, but he's
not being listened to. Sometimes, you

781
01:03:13.480 --> 01:03:15.400
know, as a man, as
a male, we want just to be

782
01:03:15.559 --> 01:03:21.440
heard. We want to be just
taken seriously. If I say something to

783
01:03:21.519 --> 01:03:25.679
my wife now and she doesn't listen
to me, I said, I did

784
01:03:25.800 --> 01:03:30.079
tell you that, what's going to
happen? We just want we just want

785
01:03:30.079 --> 01:03:32.880
to be heard. And then,
you know, because it seems like whenever

786
01:03:34.000 --> 01:03:37.079
we say something, we don't know
what we're talking about. Oh, you

787
01:03:37.119 --> 01:03:42.519
don't know what you're talking about.
And so it's hard for men to open

788
01:03:42.639 --> 01:03:46.239
up. When we try to open
up, nobody listens. And then then

789
01:03:46.639 --> 01:03:51.760
but there's just the problem. So
we open up, we're not heard,

790
01:03:52.719 --> 01:03:55.920
and then because we're trying to get
up point across, we then come aggressive.

791
01:03:57.159 --> 01:04:01.280
So then we get tagged as being
overly agre or we get tagged as

792
01:04:01.360 --> 01:04:06.960
being m rude or too blunt,
and when not being that way, we

793
01:04:08.119 --> 01:04:10.880
just want to get out. We
just want to get our point across.

794
01:04:11.440 --> 01:04:14.800
So yeah, it's gonna come out
blunt sometimes because we've probably been saying that

795
01:04:14.960 --> 01:04:19.840
point for five minutes or five times
and nobody's been listening. So then the

796
01:04:19.920 --> 01:04:23.000
sixth time it just comes out all
of a sudden, you're hear it,

797
01:04:23.039 --> 01:04:26.400
but you hear it in a sense
of in a negative way. So I

798
01:04:26.559 --> 01:04:30.239
just think, like from from I
think for myself, like being as I'm

799
01:04:30.239 --> 01:04:34.559
older though I'm about to be fifty, I have to learn that I just

800
01:04:34.679 --> 01:04:39.639
have I just have to drown out
that people are not always going to listen.

801
01:04:40.519 --> 01:04:45.320
And to what Stephen was saying about
um always, the way I look

802
01:04:45.400 --> 01:04:48.400
at it in my life is that
God, as long as God is happy

803
01:04:48.440 --> 01:04:51.960
with my life, I really don't
care what other people think of me.

804
01:04:54.119 --> 01:04:57.039
And that's just me. I've gotten
to that point where I just don't care.

805
01:04:57.079 --> 01:04:59.000
You know. They say as you
get older, you get more blunt,

806
01:04:59.400 --> 01:05:01.320
and that's just I feel. I
just don't care. If you don't

807
01:05:01.360 --> 01:05:03.599
like me, you don't like me, because it's nothing I'm gonna do it's

808
01:05:03.599 --> 01:05:09.360
going to change that. Nothing I
say do is gonna make that difference.

809
01:05:10.159 --> 01:05:15.199
I think men just have to understand
that that no matter what is. You

810
01:05:15.280 --> 01:05:16.199
know, they say you do one
hundred things right, but the one thing

811
01:05:16.239 --> 01:05:20.679
you do wrong that's everybody remembers.
So you can't control that. So you

812
01:05:20.760 --> 01:05:24.559
just have to just be who you
are, be truthful, as Steven said,

813
01:05:24.599 --> 01:05:28.519
be truthful to yourself, know who
you are, and be honest with

814
01:05:28.679 --> 01:05:30.239
yourself. If you can't be honest
with yourself, you cannot be honest with

815
01:05:30.360 --> 01:05:33.960
nobody else because if you can't forgive
yourself, if you can't be honest with

816
01:05:34.000 --> 01:05:39.840
yourself, you're not gonna be good
to anybody else because you're just gonna always

817
01:05:39.920 --> 01:05:47.000
be um talking or complaining or whining
about something and saying I just said it.

818
01:05:47.239 --> 01:05:50.559
But I mean in the sense of
like you know, we we don't

819
01:05:50.719 --> 01:05:56.440
we just want to be able to
be heard. I ask before Stephen,

820
01:05:56.519 --> 01:06:00.000
you can go to that or whether
you agree or disagree. But your example

821
01:06:00.079 --> 01:06:05.599
there was talking to your wife and
her probably not listening. We're not paying

822
01:06:05.679 --> 01:06:09.079
enough attention to it. I guess
that's the only person I talk to that's

823
01:06:09.119 --> 01:06:14.639
my best friend, because the dynamics
today is is that the same if you

824
01:06:14.679 --> 01:06:18.119
should talk man to man. I
feel that there is there is a sense

825
01:06:18.199 --> 01:06:23.960
there of not being heard, not
being listened to amongst brothers or is that

826
01:06:24.159 --> 01:06:29.039
what brothers? You're right? So
I've tried talking to other brothers, but

827
01:06:29.199 --> 01:06:33.199
I don't always get I find sometimes
when I talk to other brothers, I

828
01:06:33.239 --> 01:06:35.760
don't know if Steven just happens to
you. I find sometimes when I talk

829
01:06:35.760 --> 01:06:39.480
to other brothers, sometimes I must
feel like I scare them, like I

830
01:06:39.519 --> 01:06:43.960
can see fear in their face because
I'm just too blunt because I don't and

831
01:06:44.119 --> 01:06:45.880
I have to try to ease back. So I try to talk to them,

832
01:06:46.519 --> 01:06:49.599
and they're just like, oh,
he's too intense, Oh he's too

833
01:06:49.760 --> 01:06:55.079
like, you know, aggressive,
So they kind of ease back off of

834
01:06:55.199 --> 01:06:58.280
me, and then they don't kind
of talk to me anymore. You understand,

835
01:06:58.360 --> 01:07:00.920
like they kind of like, uh, yeah, you know, yeah,

836
01:07:00.039 --> 01:07:02.320
you stay over there, I stay
over here you And then I think

837
01:07:02.400 --> 01:07:06.119
sometimes brothers don't want to hear the
truth. Okay, because that was you,

838
01:07:06.199 --> 01:07:09.800
see you led me to that.
I'm saying you're too blunt or too

839
01:07:09.880 --> 01:07:15.079
honest because it's I don't know,
I'm the same being blunt. I think

840
01:07:16.039 --> 01:07:24.840
ye black Stephen, he's the guy. Because that's the challenge, isn't it.

841
01:07:25.039 --> 01:07:29.639
Because we're talking about how man can
support each other. If you can't,

842
01:07:29.679 --> 01:07:31.119
I don't know, and I don't
know. I don't know if I

843
01:07:31.239 --> 01:07:33.840
can't. If I can't be true
to my brother, who else can I

844
01:07:33.920 --> 01:07:36.559
be true to? See, this
is the problem. We don't want to

845
01:07:36.599 --> 01:07:40.440
hear the truth. We don't want
people to tell us what we need to

846
01:07:40.599 --> 01:07:43.599
hear, not what we want to
hear. But be careful though, because

847
01:07:43.679 --> 01:07:46.199
that's why I'm trying to draw that
line. There is no line being to

848
01:07:46.400 --> 01:07:50.480
me being aggressive. It's not necessarily
being truthful. No, you're right that

849
01:07:50.639 --> 01:07:55.079
there is a there's a difference between
the two, Okay, And if if

850
01:07:55.519 --> 01:07:59.760
if you're saying men have pulled back
because they thought you were too blunt,

851
01:08:00.039 --> 01:08:02.719
I eat, in my mind aggressive, then it's not necessarily that it's what

852
01:08:02.960 --> 01:08:08.599
you've said. It's probably how you
said it if I understand what you and

853
01:08:08.679 --> 01:08:11.920
I understand and I understand what you're
saying. But see, the thing is,

854
01:08:11.960 --> 01:08:15.680
I'm not I'm not gonna sing it. I'm not gonna sing it.

855
01:08:16.159 --> 01:08:19.439
I'm not gonna sing it. I'm
gonna just bluntly come out and say,

856
01:08:19.640 --> 01:08:23.279
like it was all my mind.
I'm just going to say it. And

857
01:08:23.840 --> 01:08:26.840
this is the thing I always tell
people, like because I've had people coming,

858
01:08:27.000 --> 01:08:29.840
I've had guys come and talk to
me and they've asked me a question

859
01:08:29.880 --> 01:08:31.119
and then say, man, why
do you respond that way? And I

860
01:08:31.239 --> 01:08:33.800
say, well, you know me
for these many years. You know that's

861
01:08:33.840 --> 01:08:38.319
how I am. And I know
I need. I know I can change

862
01:08:38.359 --> 01:08:42.199
and be a little bit more because
I actually have to learn that. Moving

863
01:08:42.279 --> 01:08:45.680
here to the UK, I had
to learn to be more what's the word,

864
01:08:46.720 --> 01:08:49.880
not withdrawing. I just have to
be more back pulled back a little

865
01:08:49.920 --> 01:08:54.880
bit. Because when my first job
I got fired from because the woman said

866
01:08:54.880 --> 01:08:58.159
I was too aggressive because I would
just say, get off your butts,

867
01:08:58.319 --> 01:09:01.079
go do the work and then sit
back down. So they didn't like that.

868
01:09:01.680 --> 01:09:05.359
The UK folks don't like me saying
it in that tone, so I

869
01:09:05.439 --> 01:09:10.399
had to change my tone. So
it's more like, if you don't mind,

870
01:09:10.520 --> 01:09:12.840
could you please get up and go
do your job and then you can

871
01:09:12.920 --> 01:09:15.439
go back and sit, you know. So I had to learn. But

872
01:09:15.920 --> 01:09:19.439
it still doesn't mean that Sometimes you
just you just have to say it because

873
01:09:19.479 --> 01:09:24.720
the truth. I would rather somebody
tell me the truth than to beat around

874
01:09:24.720 --> 01:09:27.920
the bush and tell me a life. But you're talking about if you think

875
01:09:27.960 --> 01:09:31.159
about men's men's qualities and what they
can be like, is that always is

876
01:09:31.199 --> 01:09:33.720
that necessarily going to be the best
thing. I want to bring in Andrew,

877
01:09:34.399 --> 01:09:39.600
Andrew Stephen to see whether what you
think of that, because yeah,

878
01:09:39.680 --> 01:09:43.039
that's why I want. I want
his opinion. But if you kind of

879
01:09:43.119 --> 01:09:46.119
got other very strong characters or people
feel like we shout out the more happy,

880
01:09:46.880 --> 01:09:50.239
would you just end up knocking heads
or how Yeah, because at the

881
01:09:50.319 --> 01:09:53.640
end of the day, sometimes women
are very good at talking, because you

882
01:09:53.640 --> 01:10:00.039
could say that sometimes empathetic listening and
me that treat are any more sense it

883
01:10:00.159 --> 01:10:04.640
too, things that were happening from
generalizing made the stereotype PA, So how

884
01:10:04.680 --> 01:10:10.039
can we kind of get around that
OVERTI is sticking on that. It was

885
01:10:10.079 --> 01:10:13.920
in Marcami, and I think that's
definitely right. I think there's a level

886
01:10:13.920 --> 01:10:16.199
of writing what both said. But
I think for me and this is what

887
01:10:16.319 --> 01:10:24.479
I found person So I'm more inclined
to speak to a woman than a month

888
01:10:25.199 --> 01:10:28.600
you know, come out what I'm
feeling in this aut because I know that

889
01:10:28.680 --> 01:10:33.119
they're gonna have more of a listening
or understanding where you're looking at the situation,

890
01:10:33.159 --> 01:10:38.159
if that makes sense. So in
my mind, I've made the intention

891
01:10:38.199 --> 01:10:43.159
with effort though, to just speak
to them, to open up up out

892
01:10:43.159 --> 01:10:46.119
of things to other guys, because
I think it's important. As you mentioned,

893
01:10:46.159 --> 01:10:49.000
Angel, there's there are some characters
out there and it's not it's not

894
01:10:49.079 --> 01:10:54.920
a bad thing. Um, they're
very dumbinant, so when you're being dominating

895
01:10:55.000 --> 01:10:59.079
a conversation, you're not able to
basically listen to what someone saying, if

896
01:10:59.159 --> 01:11:01.800
that makes sense. So it please
the purpose or if I'm saying it's the

897
01:11:01.920 --> 01:11:05.560
situation, I think the way that
thinks very simply, if I'm sharing myself,

898
01:11:06.159 --> 01:11:10.079
it's just a man sort of just
hearing me out and allow me to

899
01:11:10.199 --> 01:11:14.079
land and allow me to speak what
you gotta saying. Response is always going

900
01:11:14.119 --> 01:11:15.720
to be bad. That it's fine
because everybody's got an opinion about it,

901
01:11:16.079 --> 01:11:23.119
whatever may be. The conversation has
to be at a point where they're to

902
01:11:23.199 --> 01:11:26.800
speaking, they know that they're being
listening to you, and they know that

903
01:11:26.840 --> 01:11:30.560
it's not just going to be like
a discussion or back and forth. Spot

904
01:11:30.720 --> 01:11:33.800
be a thing where someone's speaking but
the apple person is actually trying to listen

905
01:11:33.840 --> 01:11:38.479
and understand. If that I understand, it's not dead. Then for me

906
01:11:38.560 --> 01:11:41.439
the first thing, that's where I
shot down as the first I feel like

907
01:11:41.479 --> 01:11:45.399
I'm not being on the spl as
a man I call asshole that I just

908
01:11:45.520 --> 01:11:49.520
literally got hold because the man I'm
thinking, I'm gonna talk and express and

909
01:11:50.439 --> 01:11:54.600
open up. If when I say, you know what I'm saying, I

910
01:11:54.720 --> 01:11:58.319
know they get hearing me, but
you know, really listening to what I'm

911
01:11:58.319 --> 01:12:01.000
really saying some kind of defeat them. But I think for me, I

912
01:12:01.079 --> 01:12:08.079
think Pedrol said a very good um
I fact to basically train my mind not

913
01:12:08.199 --> 01:12:12.159
to see everybody the same way,
if that makes sense. It's a long

914
01:12:12.199 --> 01:12:16.279
time. I used to basically feel
like I had no confidence and speaking my

915
01:12:16.359 --> 01:12:19.960
emotions to another man. But but
I just felt like, generally speaking,

916
01:12:20.000 --> 01:12:26.119
men don't have the pan with mindset
to listen. For example, on my

917
01:12:26.239 --> 01:12:30.239
counseling of course, ninety percent of
the people on my course were obviously for

918
01:12:30.319 --> 01:12:32.720
emales. There was only another gun
at this game, and I feel as

919
01:12:32.840 --> 01:12:38.920
men, there's a stortage of people
getting into counseling, And for me,

920
01:12:39.079 --> 01:12:42.479
that's why I'm passionate about it,
because I just feel like you don't have

921
01:12:42.560 --> 01:12:46.720
to be a counsel. I just
think learning counseling skills to be just learning

922
01:12:46.760 --> 01:12:51.279
how to listen, learning how to
to not judge, learning how to basically

923
01:12:53.399 --> 01:12:57.199
I just navigate through someone's emotions.
I think that's not even about being a

924
01:12:57.319 --> 01:13:00.039
counsel. It's just learning how to
how to listen affectively, which is a

925
01:13:00.079 --> 01:13:04.800
skill that everybody should have, men
and women. Europe maybe, But I

926
01:13:04.880 --> 01:13:08.960
think for me, on a personal
note, I struggled with that because a

927
01:13:09.039 --> 01:13:14.760
long time I had no confidence in
speaking my my emotions. But then I'm

928
01:13:14.800 --> 01:13:18.680
gonna share a story which I feel
cannot helps. So I've brought a very

929
01:13:18.720 --> 01:13:23.479
good friend of mine, very very
good friend of mine, and I was

930
01:13:23.520 --> 01:13:25.479
going through one of them phases.
Well, I was oh cold, I

931
01:13:25.600 --> 01:13:29.520
was going to asso, so I'm
going to dream, I stee the phone

932
01:13:29.600 --> 01:13:32.520
ringing, and I wasn't answer,
and why I love this person because this

933
01:13:32.680 --> 01:13:36.439
person you're gonna take it that personal. You'll just keep on harding me that.

934
01:13:36.840 --> 01:13:40.920
So I just think it's to myself. Just let me me. So

935
01:13:41.039 --> 01:13:45.560
eventually, after like a week or
so, he pulled me again and I

936
01:13:45.600 --> 01:13:47.399
think, you know what if I
don't answer, I'm just gonna keep on

937
01:13:47.520 --> 01:13:49.920
calling me. So they were just
answered the phone in the same we say

938
01:13:50.840 --> 01:13:55.960
and this this will ever change my
life, you know, because he answer

939
01:13:56.039 --> 01:13:58.720
the phone and he said to me, Stephen, and I'll be honest with

940
01:13:58.720 --> 01:14:01.960
you. I'm gonna very very honest
man, see you when I'll pull your

941
01:14:02.000 --> 01:14:06.199
phone, Steve One, like there's
a reason why I'm pulling you, and

942
01:14:08.800 --> 01:14:13.079
you don't know that I actually needs
you, I need or real help.

943
01:14:14.920 --> 01:14:17.600
So you don't answer, Steven Man
like it makes to be full but upset

944
01:14:17.680 --> 01:14:24.279
one because you don't know what I'm
actually dealing because we need his friends that

945
01:14:24.319 --> 01:14:26.119
I know that I can speak to
you, and then I can I can

946
01:14:26.199 --> 01:14:31.119
talk to you someone you like.
It burns me because I ain't gonn no

947
01:14:31.159 --> 01:14:34.359
one else to turn. And when
he said that, yeah, I couldn't

948
01:14:34.359 --> 01:14:38.920
even could even say nothing. I
just had to be hungbo and I have

949
01:14:38.960 --> 01:14:43.119
to say, you know what,
I hear what you're saying. I understand

950
01:14:43.159 --> 01:14:47.319
that. And I appreciated his honesty
to be honest about that, because if

951
01:14:47.359 --> 01:14:51.039
the rules were reversed, which it
has been, if I'm calling someone else's

952
01:14:51.079 --> 01:14:56.920
phone and I'm getting air time,
I'm gonna say the very passage because that

953
01:14:56.960 --> 01:15:00.760
we decent. I'm't gonna be.
I'm thinking, I've pose you. You

954
01:15:00.880 --> 01:15:03.520
have a assing. I'll let he
be. But the one time that happened

955
01:15:03.520 --> 01:15:09.319
to me, I'm calling another good
friend of mine and he's not asking his

956
01:15:09.399 --> 01:15:13.479
phone, and I said to myself, so this is what falls leg So

957
01:15:14.239 --> 01:15:16.600
in my mind now I'm thinking what
do I do now? Because I was

958
01:15:16.600 --> 01:15:19.840
actually very very hurt about it because, as my friend said to me,

959
01:15:20.680 --> 01:15:24.640
I was calling him for a reason
because I was going for a situation.

960
01:15:24.680 --> 01:15:27.479
They need someone to talk to you. I'm calling him. It's not answering

961
01:15:27.840 --> 01:15:30.359
in the week. Ain't hurt him, like you know what, I need

962
01:15:30.399 --> 01:15:35.119
to say something. And the same
approach that my film talking with me said,

963
01:15:35.119 --> 01:15:38.560
you know what, let me try
that with him, said problem,

964
01:15:38.560 --> 01:15:40.720
and I'll be honest. You you
know, I don't. I don't normally

965
01:15:40.760 --> 01:15:45.399
do this, but that's what we
cannot transparent, Like you're a good friend

966
01:15:45.439 --> 01:15:48.600
of mine, and when I'm calling
you like I need you because it's the

967
01:15:48.640 --> 01:15:55.439
sample calling in my life, ware
like I need your advice so or wherever

968
01:15:55.520 --> 01:15:58.960
it is. So you're not ask
him, I'm not kid. It hurts.

969
01:15:59.359 --> 01:16:01.720
I'm gonna be keeping tom be honest. My eyes were kind of water

970
01:16:01.800 --> 01:16:10.000
because it felt weird too as a
man, be so about the fact that

971
01:16:10.479 --> 01:16:14.840
we're making me feels I no,
really have to be honest. It will

972
01:16:14.880 --> 01:16:16.880
be easier for me to say that
to them to a guilt from honest,

973
01:16:17.199 --> 01:16:20.439
to talk about my feelings and whatever
made me, But to say it to

974
01:16:20.439 --> 01:16:27.119
another guy you're asking your phone.
I think a way about that. That

975
01:16:27.399 --> 01:16:30.560
was hard for me to actually say
to it. I had to say it,

976
01:16:31.239 --> 01:16:34.279
but if I didn't say it,
the option would be a right.

977
01:16:35.079 --> 01:16:41.600
I've told you you do your thing, I do my thing. And I

978
01:16:41.680 --> 01:16:45.119
think it goes back to the brotherhet
thing. It's a text that says that

979
01:16:45.199 --> 01:16:48.039
we're to love the prophet and the
reason why I think I took that process

980
01:16:48.079 --> 01:16:55.520
because even though I took a person, I love my brother. So even

981
01:16:55.560 --> 01:16:58.560
though I felt hurt about it,
I love that I have for him to

982
01:16:58.680 --> 01:17:02.239
basically still reach out was more than
the personal slap that I felt. Exactly

983
01:17:02.239 --> 01:17:04.920
makes sense. So I had to
basically saying, you know what, broadly

984
01:17:04.960 --> 01:17:09.640
symbol like, I need you need
to kind of ask your phone because I

985
01:17:09.720 --> 01:17:11.880
could be going through worlds or three. You man, you trying to say,

986
01:17:12.199 --> 01:17:15.960
so you need to kind of get
onto that. So I think being

987
01:17:15.039 --> 01:17:18.239
honest, I think it sounds good
and it sounds like a good idea,

988
01:17:18.319 --> 01:17:23.039
but being honest to me means you
have to actually be honest about what your

989
01:17:23.079 --> 01:17:27.479
filmer and to be and to be
fair. When I was going through it,

990
01:17:29.000 --> 01:17:30.880
as I said it, I can
literally feel the physical sensations in my

991
01:17:30.960 --> 01:17:36.600
body because I felt weird telling another
guy listen, yeah, you know asking

992
01:17:36.640 --> 01:17:41.000
your phone I was supposed going on. But I'm glad I did it though,

993
01:17:41.079 --> 01:17:45.479
because to me, that's a sound
of growth, because once upon a

994
01:17:45.560 --> 01:17:47.039
time of the foot, you know
what, you know, asking your phone,

995
01:17:47.760 --> 01:17:51.840
I'll do nothing like if you want
to pull me, then cool,

996
01:17:51.920 --> 01:17:56.560
but I know what it is.
But if I'm I'm trying to love the

997
01:17:56.680 --> 01:17:59.159
roblem with them, I'm trying to
build a friendship and build like a level

998
01:17:59.199 --> 01:18:03.079
of certain things. I need to
be vulnerable and Shae watch sat on my

999
01:18:03.159 --> 01:18:09.640
hot and it's more easy to do, but I think in doing it there's

1000
01:18:09.640 --> 01:18:14.479
a lot of benefits. So that's
that's how I answer the question and answered

1001
01:18:14.760 --> 01:18:17.640
that's that's my Fawn's that last whether
you're saying really reminds me of I think

1002
01:18:17.640 --> 01:18:21.399
it's Proverbs. Summary Proverbs it says
a friend loves at all times, but

1003
01:18:21.479 --> 01:18:26.119
a brother is born for the time
of adversity, because that's exactly that,

1004
01:18:26.279 --> 01:18:30.560
even sometimes when you need people,
but it's your blood brother or a brother.

1005
01:18:31.119 --> 01:18:34.920
Yeah, difference AiZ with that.
So yeah, so as you talk,

1006
01:18:35.199 --> 01:18:38.520
as you talk about that, and
thank you for sharing that you know

1007
01:18:38.760 --> 01:18:42.399
and you know honestly and vulnerability.
I think my questian when I was asking

1008
01:18:42.439 --> 01:18:45.039
before, was how can we encourage
people to do that? Because it's clearly

1009
01:18:45.079 --> 01:18:50.720
not very easy. Um. But
and obviously you know we're talking about also

1010
01:18:50.840 --> 01:18:55.079
talking about this in a Christian perspective
as well. You know, how does

1011
01:18:55.520 --> 01:19:00.720
how can our brothers that I can't
you know, how can brothers in Christ

1012
01:19:00.039 --> 01:19:04.560
being more supportive in each other to
do those things that you're suggesting because it

1013
01:19:04.720 --> 01:19:12.720
is difficult, it is tricky,
but when you need people, it's going

1014
01:19:12.760 --> 01:19:15.680
to do something. You need people
to run around you, and sometimes it

1015
01:19:15.840 --> 01:19:20.439
is the brothers that you need someone
like yourself. I think for me,

1016
01:19:20.600 --> 01:19:28.760
I'm sure about reading from examples.
So I think if the men show me

1017
01:19:30.640 --> 01:19:34.119
being vulnerable and being I haven't got
the right word to use, but this

1018
01:19:34.359 --> 01:19:39.079
depression when it come times, being
needy and just being you know what,

1019
01:19:39.319 --> 01:19:42.439
I need to support, you know, kind of gives them the kind of

1020
01:19:42.479 --> 01:19:48.800
manage it that it's okay to be
like that as your up or men being

1021
01:19:48.960 --> 01:19:53.319
like that, it's just going to
strengthen that idea that men should just kind

1022
01:19:53.359 --> 01:19:56.319
of do the whole thing. So
I think for me it's just simportant first

1023
01:19:56.319 --> 01:20:00.079
of all, that i'd be an
example. That's what I wanted exam things

1024
01:20:00.560 --> 01:20:04.720
that Rob had, especially with nicational
community. I can't just say it's not

1025
01:20:04.800 --> 01:20:11.119
happening or should be happening. I
have to be an active example of that

1026
01:20:11.319 --> 01:20:15.920
so they can visibly see that when
they see Stephen, Stephen is willing to

1027
01:20:15.119 --> 01:20:23.640
actually share himself to be vulnerable to
say that at least to say it support

1028
01:20:24.279 --> 01:20:28.479
like it starts with me. Just
showing that example to our young men.

1029
01:20:28.760 --> 01:20:31.479
He may feel like I don't,
I don't get the point, if that

1030
01:20:31.560 --> 01:20:36.800
makes sense. Another thing I'll say, it's just too basically to share,

1031
01:20:39.840 --> 01:20:45.239
share why it's a good thing to
to speak, an open up because I

1032
01:20:45.399 --> 01:20:51.159
think everybody handles things differently. But
for my personal experience, it's never healthy,

1033
01:20:51.239 --> 01:20:58.039
it's never been good what I've been
things inside. I think AMSL to

1034
01:20:58.079 --> 01:21:01.880
Angela or Daniel that mentioned that some
sign men instead of talking the results of

1035
01:21:01.920 --> 01:21:06.800
other things to give them comfort,
if that makes sense. And a person

1036
01:21:06.880 --> 01:21:12.840
that knows that you are where if
I'm not speaking, then something close that

1037
01:21:12.840 --> 01:21:15.560
I'm doing to fill that word,
if that makes sense. So it's kind

1038
01:21:15.600 --> 01:21:24.760
of trying to bring an awareness to
young men about the negatives of being silent.

1039
01:21:25.439 --> 01:21:28.880
And I think it's normal to be
silent. If i'ven't been taught how

1040
01:21:28.960 --> 01:21:32.680
to speak, then I can't I
can't be upset if I'm as not speaking,

1041
01:21:32.760 --> 01:21:34.880
if it doesn't know how to speak, if it doesn't know how to

1042
01:21:35.640 --> 01:21:40.800
processes emotions. And that's so for
me one of my personal projects at the

1043
01:21:40.920 --> 01:21:46.319
moment, I'm working on the certain
principles of counseling, just paying together strategies

1044
01:21:47.000 --> 01:21:53.199
just to teach like that just men
what that's in general, to teach people

1045
01:21:53.279 --> 01:21:58.000
how to deal with certain things,
how to process their emotions, how to

1046
01:21:58.760 --> 01:22:02.600
sit sense stuff. I think a
lot of young men don't have that kind

1047
01:22:02.600 --> 01:22:05.640
of educations and or how to process
and do certain things. They don't know

1048
01:22:05.720 --> 01:22:10.880
how to how to speak, so
I can't I can't judge a person,

1049
01:22:11.520 --> 01:22:16.159
but being quiet or being cold,
or there's public tizement and adult fum church

1050
01:22:16.279 --> 01:22:19.239
is what we try to reach chapter
a younger man and they've got one kind

1051
01:22:19.279 --> 01:22:24.119
of a coult older and they might
ful bader by what if that person I've

1052
01:22:24.119 --> 01:22:29.960
ever been taught how to have a
conversation and an emotional level company Blader,

1053
01:22:30.239 --> 01:22:31.520
It's just like it's just what it
is. So I think for me it

1054
01:22:31.600 --> 01:22:35.359
needs to be a level of education
in terms of those who know certain things,

1055
01:22:35.600 --> 01:22:42.239
just to teach people or young men
how to basically have those difficult conversations.

1056
01:22:42.720 --> 01:22:45.119
How do our process what's bolling on? How do I even verbalize it?

1057
01:22:45.880 --> 01:22:49.439
When you think about certain guys,
certain guys don't even say a yota

1058
01:22:49.920 --> 01:22:55.279
about what's s folling in there because
they've never been never been in a situation

1059
01:22:55.439 --> 01:22:58.760
where they feel safe enough to do
so if that makes sense for me,

1060
01:22:59.000 --> 01:23:03.079
are you making so much sense?
It's support for me to be that example

1061
01:23:03.960 --> 01:23:08.359
and eat from the front. So
that's why we're never I speech and I

1062
01:23:08.479 --> 01:23:12.000
say this before I make someone or
something, because I think there's a balance

1063
01:23:12.039 --> 01:23:15.640
to this. So I realized this
when I was younger and my early days

1064
01:23:15.680 --> 01:23:18.880
preaching that when I used to preach, if you're listening to really what I

1065
01:23:18.960 --> 01:23:25.039
say in my sermons, sometimes if
you're listening carefully, you will hear some

1066
01:23:25.159 --> 01:23:27.920
of the pain coming out in what
I'm saying, if that makes sense,

1067
01:23:28.560 --> 01:23:31.119
Because if I'm not dealing with it, it's gonna come out in different ways.

1068
01:23:31.840 --> 01:23:38.000
And I don't mean to actually do
it intentionally, but because especially back

1069
01:23:38.039 --> 01:23:43.840
in the day, I didn't really
have an opportunity to say anything. When

1070
01:23:43.840 --> 01:23:46.399
I found myself preaching in those early
days, a lot of the pain and

1071
01:23:46.439 --> 01:23:49.000
a lot of the chiln I used
to kind of creep right into the sermons.

1072
01:23:49.560 --> 01:23:54.560
And why so far is because people
in the church always appreciate it,

1073
01:23:55.600 --> 01:24:00.680
the warness and the transparency and the
openness. At the same time, I'd

1074
01:24:00.720 --> 01:24:04.199
be honest, I wasn't dealing with
these things that I was speaking about,

1075
01:24:05.039 --> 01:24:10.039
I wasn't I wasn't processing, and
I wasn't doing my homework and making sure

1076
01:24:10.159 --> 01:24:13.000
that the things that are speaking about
and getting my own either. So I

1077
01:24:13.039 --> 01:24:15.279
think when I've got older, I
realized that Stephen, you're doing a good

1078
01:24:15.319 --> 01:24:20.399
thing. Will be honest and open
about whatever your life and soulful that's but

1079
01:24:20.600 --> 01:24:28.119
make sure that off the pulpit,
we're taking care of yourself. And I

1080
01:24:28.239 --> 01:24:31.680
felt like I was very very imbalanced
where I was trying to help people and

1081
01:24:32.079 --> 01:24:38.520
be given need to be, but
neglecting my own self. So it told

1082
01:24:38.560 --> 01:24:40.800
me a long time to get to
a point. You know, Steve,

1083
01:24:42.199 --> 01:24:46.279
don't use the passion, but just
refocus it for now on yourself. It's

1084
01:24:46.319 --> 01:24:49.560
not being selfish, it's not being
self saying. It's just making sure that

1085
01:24:49.720 --> 01:24:56.239
you are taking care of yourself and
then you can eat people to have someone

1086
01:24:56.239 --> 01:24:58.520
else more effectively. So I think
for me, it started myself. I've

1087
01:24:58.520 --> 01:25:00.960
got to be an example and I've
gotta be what I need to be for

1088
01:25:00.039 --> 01:25:05.119
someone else. Yeah, putting the
oxygen mask on fast. I say all

1089
01:25:05.159 --> 01:25:10.119
the time, I must sound like
a stuck record, but it is what

1090
01:25:10.279 --> 01:25:13.600
you're told to do when there's a
reason for it. Unless you are in

1091
01:25:13.680 --> 01:25:16.640
a good place, then you aren't
able to help others because you both think

1092
01:25:17.720 --> 01:25:20.079
and that's what you're told to do
in the aircraft, aren't you to put

1093
01:25:20.399 --> 01:25:24.800
the mask on the fast and then
you can fit it on the child,

1094
01:25:24.840 --> 01:25:27.880
and then you can fit it on
others. And that is so true.

1095
01:25:28.279 --> 01:25:33.199
I did have one question when you
Stephen was saying about um talking to the

1096
01:25:33.279 --> 01:25:40.520
young folks, talking to people in
general, and being vulnerable. What about

1097
01:25:41.239 --> 01:25:44.000
I always think about, like,
I'm not trying to play the advocate,

1098
01:25:44.039 --> 01:25:48.119
but it may sound that way,
but because in today's society, to the

1099
01:25:48.199 --> 01:25:51.560
young boys, they want to be
hard. They try to be hard,

1100
01:25:53.239 --> 01:25:57.600
and then when you come and you're
talking to them, they think that when

1101
01:25:57.640 --> 01:26:01.479
you show that vulnerability, that's the
problem. You could sometimes come into that

1102
01:26:01.680 --> 01:26:05.359
you showed that vulnerability, you showed
that soft aside, and they take that

1103
01:26:05.439 --> 01:26:09.600
for a weakness, so then they're
not listening to you. So then you

1104
01:26:09.680 --> 01:26:14.039
have to like so it's like it's
a balance of being a little vulnerable but

1105
01:26:14.119 --> 01:26:17.319
also showing strength at the same time, because if you showed if you if

1106
01:26:17.359 --> 01:26:23.039
you're too vulnerable, if you're too
weak. Then, you know, it's

1107
01:26:23.119 --> 01:26:26.319
kind of like what they say,
know your audience, then they they they

1108
01:26:26.399 --> 01:26:30.319
won't hear you anyway because they're gonna
you know, they think you soft,

1109
01:26:30.880 --> 01:26:33.119
so they're not gonna listen. Because
kids today act like we as an adult

1110
01:26:33.840 --> 01:26:36.720
didn't go up and we didn't have
the same problems they had, or we

1111
01:26:36.800 --> 01:26:40.319
didn't do some of the things they
did. They think we just poof.

1112
01:26:40.439 --> 01:26:44.479
And I've said that before. You
know, we just poof, we're hair,

1113
01:26:44.880 --> 01:26:57.039
We're an adult. Sorry, Okay, well I'm actually actually like,

1114
01:26:57.279 --> 01:27:01.800
have you ever had to deal with
something like that? Are yours? I

1115
01:27:01.880 --> 01:27:05.199
think there's been signs when as you
mentioned, to know your audience, so

1116
01:27:06.359 --> 01:27:11.199
it's been sized when for example,
and you speaking to young people in prison,

1117
01:27:12.079 --> 01:27:15.159
so as an example, you're speaking
to prisoners. It's not the same

1118
01:27:15.199 --> 01:27:20.680
way that I approach for speaking to
a convocation on the normal sabath day.

1119
01:27:21.039 --> 01:27:28.560
That makes sense. So I think
for me in that situation, so about

1120
01:27:28.640 --> 01:27:32.640
making sure that wherever I'm saying,
they can connect with if that makes sense,

1121
01:27:32.920 --> 01:27:36.640
because I think there's something in everybody
that connects with something and what I'm

1122
01:27:36.640 --> 01:27:41.199
saying, I believe I have to
believe that was able to give me something

1123
01:27:41.279 --> 01:27:44.840
that even though I'm not being in
prison, I've not done certain of things.

1124
01:27:45.479 --> 01:27:48.319
But I have to believe that all
of us have a common female life,

1125
01:27:48.399 --> 01:27:54.920
which is all of life. And
I'm able to somehow say something nack

1126
01:27:55.439 --> 01:27:59.399
the next view of someone, then
I cannot got them slack. I've got

1127
01:27:59.439 --> 01:28:01.720
their attention and then they're able to
basically engage more. But you're right,

1128
01:28:01.800 --> 01:28:08.640
unless you have that taxed and ability
to to balance it, then it's going

1129
01:28:08.720 --> 01:28:11.720
to be difficult to reach certain people. As you said, have a go

1130
01:28:11.840 --> 01:28:16.119
mandset where I'm not trying to be
emotional and emotions don't work. I'm just

1131
01:28:16.239 --> 01:28:20.680
going to try to be this hard
person and it's kind of difficult to break.

1132
01:28:21.000 --> 01:28:25.560
And the reason my own example,
if it's taking me a long time

1133
01:28:25.640 --> 01:28:30.159
to get to a point that actually
speak my emotions, what about someone else

1134
01:28:30.239 --> 01:28:39.680
You doesn't have the resources or the
experiences that I have the harder So it's

1135
01:28:39.720 --> 01:28:43.560
just not having that mandset where it's
got to be patient with people and understand

1136
01:28:43.600 --> 01:28:47.960
that everybody's a certain place. Yeah, but we're not even sounding like a

1137
01:28:48.039 --> 01:28:55.359
cliche or sounding to preachy. But
I'm just learning that once we've just them,

1138
01:28:55.399 --> 01:28:58.399
I've got a spirit is able to
sue how to give you that that

1139
01:28:58.520 --> 01:29:03.479
ability say? We need to say, I've been in church, I know,

1140
01:29:03.600 --> 01:29:08.600
I know the terms. Well.
I think we need somehow that the

1141
01:29:08.720 --> 01:29:14.520
spirit is reading something that we need
to be able to help people to yeah,

1142
01:29:14.640 --> 01:29:19.439
just break through slf things and to
open up and speak. Stephen,

1143
01:29:19.560 --> 01:29:26.079
you um you mentioned in the conversation. We just had some very key points

1144
01:29:26.079 --> 01:29:30.479
and I just want to reiterate it
if you'd like that you are intentional about

1145
01:29:30.560 --> 01:29:35.279
speaking to and being open with young
men, though it may be difficult,

1146
01:29:35.319 --> 01:29:41.279
though culture may have sort of shut
our young men up um or made them

1147
01:29:41.359 --> 01:29:44.840
think that emotion is a sign of
weakness instead of instead of strength, that

1148
01:29:44.960 --> 01:29:47.880
you're intentional about doing it, you
know, seeing people for where they're at,

1149
01:29:48.600 --> 01:29:54.199
um, seeing people for what they
are, and just having the conversations

1150
01:29:54.239 --> 01:29:59.079
anyway and being open and being vulnerable. I think truth goes a long long

1151
01:29:59.159 --> 01:30:03.720
way when people see that you're legitimate, that you are being real and role.

1152
01:30:04.399 --> 01:30:10.319
It really connects with people because people
are going through stuff and I find

1153
01:30:10.399 --> 01:30:15.960
for me personally, I take I
accept the conversation more from someone who's been

1154
01:30:16.439 --> 01:30:21.720
where they say they've been and has
been through it, rather than you preaching

1155
01:30:23.079 --> 01:30:26.920
at me. You've gone through it, you know how it is. You

1156
01:30:27.039 --> 01:30:29.760
know where I'm at, and you're
able to connect with me better. And

1157
01:30:29.960 --> 01:30:33.760
I love that you're saying being intentional
and also to show our young men the

1158
01:30:34.079 --> 01:30:38.720
value in brotherhood. That's a big
point. That's a big point, you

1159
01:30:38.800 --> 01:30:42.119
know, to have someplace that you
can be honest, to have someplace that

1160
01:30:42.199 --> 01:30:45.760
you can be open, and to
be there and to have that conversation safely

1161
01:30:45.840 --> 01:30:47.319
so it's not going to come back
on you. You're not gonna hear it

1162
01:30:47.359 --> 01:30:50.279
on the road, and people are
not going to be ratting you out and

1163
01:30:50.600 --> 01:30:54.520
and sharing your secrets. This is
a space where you can be open and

1164
01:30:54.640 --> 01:30:57.720
just say, hey, I'm dealing
with this and I feel like I'm dealing

1165
01:30:57.760 --> 01:31:00.479
with it alone. And you'd be
surprised the number of young men in the

1166
01:31:00.600 --> 01:31:05.359
room who have been but have been
dealing with it and being silent about it.

1167
01:31:06.159 --> 01:31:10.399
And I'm really really passionate. Well, I'm raising a young man.

1168
01:31:10.520 --> 01:31:13.000
So if you hear the passion,
that's where it comes from. Man.

1169
01:31:13.039 --> 01:31:15.800
I know I'm not a man,
but I'm trying really hard to raise one,

1170
01:31:15.359 --> 01:31:18.760
and when I see the statistics,
it scares me. You know,

1171
01:31:18.960 --> 01:31:29.000
it's really scary. Sixteen percent of
suicides are from our men compared to six

1172
01:31:29.399 --> 01:31:34.119
for females. Twenty two point five
percent of forty five to fifty four year

1173
01:31:34.159 --> 01:31:42.199
olds males. That's the suicide rate. Seventy four percent of all suicides in

1174
01:31:42.359 --> 01:31:47.840
the UK involve men, and suicide
is the second biggest killer or cause of

1175
01:31:47.960 --> 01:31:55.880
death for young males. That's some
scary stuff and it's important for me that

1176
01:31:56.079 --> 01:32:00.479
our young men understand that and understand
that it doesn't have to be that way,

1177
01:32:00.880 --> 01:32:06.199
because there is so much healing in
a real good conversation. There's so

1178
01:32:06.399 --> 01:32:12.119
much wisdom in a real good conversation. You know, Brothers learn from brothers,

1179
01:32:12.600 --> 01:32:16.479
Brothers inspire brothers. You know,
Brothers bridge the gap for brothers who

1180
01:32:16.520 --> 01:32:20.800
don't have brothers. And I don't
know if I'm rattling on, but this

1181
01:32:20.960 --> 01:32:26.199
is the kind of stuff that we
need to share and make sure that our

1182
01:32:26.279 --> 01:32:30.159
young men know, and our older
men too. Fifty four year olds,

1183
01:32:30.199 --> 01:32:33.840
forty five to fifty four year olds, twenty two percent of them feel lonely

1184
01:32:33.920 --> 01:32:40.960
rejected, you know, and they're
struggling too, so if we're not educating

1185
01:32:41.000 --> 01:32:45.159
And you said that education is key. If we're not educating our men,

1186
01:32:45.680 --> 01:32:49.039
that conversation is key. That conversation
is okay, that emotion is okay.

1187
01:32:49.119 --> 01:32:53.560
Speaking is okay, Crying is okay. I mean, there's a day was

1188
01:32:54.199 --> 01:32:57.119
my son was crying. He's gonna
kill me for this. It was crying

1189
01:32:57.199 --> 01:33:02.960
because he I took him off the
PlayStation and I was like, you two

1190
01:33:03.039 --> 01:33:08.000
groan and I was. I made
sure I said it that way. I

1191
01:33:08.039 --> 01:33:11.159
didn't want to. I don't want
to say you're you know, you're you're

1192
01:33:11.159 --> 01:33:15.159
a man or whatever, because I
don't want to him to go away with

1193
01:33:15.239 --> 01:33:17.960
that impression. What I said was
your two grown, big fifteen sixteen year

1194
01:33:17.960 --> 01:33:24.479
old cry for coming off of a
PlayStation. But when when I stepped out

1195
01:33:24.520 --> 01:33:26.840
of the room, I thought,
oh my gosh, he's still a baby.

1196
01:33:28.439 --> 01:33:33.000
I still got a baby here of
my hands. But it's good to

1197
01:33:33.079 --> 01:33:38.000
see. I thought it was good
to see, right or wrong, because

1198
01:33:38.399 --> 01:33:45.359
in today's generation, in in in
today's society, our boys, our boys

1199
01:33:45.399 --> 01:33:47.880
who are trying to be men or
men who are trying to be better man.

1200
01:33:48.159 --> 01:33:53.079
I shut down too often? Was
he crying because you took him off

1201
01:33:53.119 --> 01:33:56.319
the PlayStation or was he crying because
of what he did to get taken off

1202
01:33:56.399 --> 01:34:00.279
the PlayStation? He was He was
in the middle of a game and he

1203
01:34:00.319 --> 01:34:02.560
was on the highest score ever when
he came off and he told me the

1204
01:34:02.640 --> 01:34:05.039
story. You know, Oh god, he had me. He had me

1205
01:34:05.119 --> 01:34:09.920
almost crying myself. You know,
he befriended someone, didn't get a chance

1206
01:34:09.960 --> 01:34:12.359
to connect with them. They were
having the game of their lives, and

1207
01:34:12.479 --> 01:34:15.279
he was on the score, his
best score ever. And there I was

1208
01:34:15.359 --> 01:34:17.159
just pull the plug. I didn't
give him any time, but I had

1209
01:34:17.199 --> 01:34:20.079
been telling him for a long time
to come off it and he wouldn't budge.

1210
01:34:20.439 --> 01:34:24.239
So I just had enough and I
just went in a pool. I

1211
01:34:24.439 --> 01:34:30.039
pulled the plug out, and I
said, he's taller than me. Yeah,

1212
01:34:30.079 --> 01:34:34.199
he said that too. You know, he's taller than me. He's

1213
01:34:34.239 --> 01:34:38.640
bigger than me, I mean.
And I just see him call up and

1214
01:34:38.720 --> 01:34:43.199
cry, and I thought, what
what what is this? But you know,

1215
01:34:43.560 --> 01:34:45.760
I tried not to. I tried
to let him and to talk about

1216
01:34:45.800 --> 01:34:49.279
it and all that kind of good
stuff, because again, it's it's important

1217
01:34:49.359 --> 01:34:54.359
for me that our men or young
men and me raising a young man,

1218
01:34:54.479 --> 01:34:58.600
that he understands that it's okay.
It's okay, and come talk to me

1219
01:34:58.640 --> 01:35:02.319
if you have to. And so
after after Zenia's overhead destroying this young man's

1220
01:35:02.359 --> 01:35:05.479
PlayStation, she has about a new
one because she pulled it out the plug.

1221
01:35:05.760 --> 01:35:10.600
You don't understand those things, electric
boy, you could you could destroy

1222
01:35:10.720 --> 01:35:14.479
that PlayStation. Those things are expensive. I ain't pulling up. Look I'll

1223
01:35:14.520 --> 01:35:17.159
take the remote from him or something. I ain't pulling I ain't pulling the

1224
01:35:17.199 --> 01:35:21.840
plug out. I ain't doing that
because you know, but we want to

1225
01:35:21.920 --> 01:35:26.439
get Uh, Steve, you had
you and your brother were actually doing a

1226
01:35:26.880 --> 01:35:31.800
collaboration right on an event coming up. Would you like to tell us a

1227
01:35:31.840 --> 01:35:39.840
little bit about that as we're getting
close to time. The concept is so

1228
01:35:40.960 --> 01:35:45.560
let should get towards young people.
It could be people with in the educational

1229
01:35:45.920 --> 01:35:51.399
sets off because of young people.
In terms of doing young people, you

1230
01:35:51.560 --> 01:36:00.840
are breaking so basically using our story
of all tuns and just relating to people

1231
01:36:00.880 --> 01:36:04.720
in a career. Hey, what
we're doing through what we've obviously have gone

1232
01:36:04.760 --> 01:36:12.479
through. We're breaking down our story
and bringing out repeat constets and basically is

1233
01:36:12.520 --> 01:36:16.159
it as a way to educate and
just teach don see what they have to

1234
01:36:16.199 --> 01:36:23.079
basically get through some diffic almost they
may be experiencing. So don't be professionals

1235
01:36:23.159 --> 01:36:28.479
will becoming new yugustly season in their
craft practitioners and so Befo'll be there to

1236
01:36:29.399 --> 01:36:35.560
um give talks, workshops still be
a lot of your engagement stuff like that.

1237
01:36:35.880 --> 01:36:42.079
But the main thing is just basically, how do you get through breaking

1238
01:36:42.319 --> 01:36:45.399
point when you feel like you're out
point where you learnt what to do,

1239
01:36:45.680 --> 01:36:49.920
how to process or it was going
on? What he can we can practically

1240
01:36:50.039 --> 01:36:56.960
duty to get through it. We're
just using our story in every relatable breaking

1241
01:36:57.039 --> 01:36:59.279
way. Yeah, I got the
fly? Is that you and your brother?

1242
01:37:00.880 --> 01:37:06.399
Yea? You know I had to
say something, but I'm sorry I

1243
01:37:06.479 --> 01:37:11.439
had to blow your blootle bit you
know. Oh boy, yeah those I

1244
01:37:11.479 --> 01:37:15.920
remember those outphits back in those days. So could you tell us the time

1245
01:37:15.520 --> 01:37:18.800
same you can know what you say? Oh my god, that really is

1246
01:37:18.920 --> 01:37:25.439
me. I was gonna try to
guess who was slow, But it sounds

1247
01:37:25.439 --> 01:37:29.119
like a really great concept. Why
was it important to use your own stories?

1248
01:37:29.199 --> 01:37:31.000
And I guess you know took a
bit about that, But in this

1249
01:37:31.279 --> 01:37:35.000
kind of context, what we're doing
obviously working with it Why was that important?

1250
01:37:36.039 --> 01:37:41.439
Yeah, because I feel like in
stories, especially in question stories,

1251
01:37:41.479 --> 01:37:46.760
is one of the most ahoys to
get someone to connections and engage someone.

1252
01:37:47.680 --> 01:37:53.039
She used the life for what I'm
saying and able to me. I'm about

1253
01:37:53.119 --> 01:37:58.000
chance of understanding and gaining a question
don't make sense? People people see me

1254
01:37:58.640 --> 01:38:02.000
there's a normal question. Willing to
share myself and talk about some of my

1255
01:38:02.840 --> 01:38:08.840
situations and challenges that I'm going through. They're able to see some of the

1256
01:38:08.920 --> 01:38:13.840
things that I've done to you overcome
and I'm still learning and don't get twisted,

1257
01:38:13.920 --> 01:38:15.600
but they're able to see some of
the growth and some of the things

1258
01:38:15.640 --> 01:38:20.119
that happened. Then gives them hop
to know that. Yeah, I can

1259
01:38:20.199 --> 01:38:25.039
then a certainly that many sense.
So I think to your stories are out

1260
01:38:25.079 --> 01:38:29.960
will think everybody connect with the story
and just use So when is this happening

1261
01:38:30.039 --> 01:38:33.520
and how can people find out about
it? Yeah? So I'm I want

1262
01:38:33.560 --> 01:38:41.840
to see you so far. Um
once second, we want to twentieth about

1263
01:38:43.359 --> 01:38:49.199
August. I think it's the twenty
in the twentieth pribe thirty to eight o'clock

1264
01:38:50.000 --> 01:38:55.760
for Andrew's instagent, you know with
the link to the event. Right,

1265
01:38:56.399 --> 01:39:03.319
He's from there but these details.
Yeah, yeah, do you want me

1266
01:39:03.319 --> 01:39:08.239
to share it, Stephen, I've
got the flyer up. Yeah, okay,

1267
01:39:08.279 --> 01:39:13.079
So the email I've got is a
Fuller at Andrew Fuller dot me.

1268
01:39:14.279 --> 01:39:18.079
So that's Fuller few double l e
R so a Fuller at Andrew Fuller dot

1269
01:39:18.159 --> 01:39:23.720
me. The event is on the
twentieth of August at five thirty to eight

1270
01:39:23.800 --> 01:39:28.000
o'clock and it will be at the
Advent Center at thirty nine Brendon Street,

1271
01:39:28.039 --> 01:39:33.800
London, UM And it's the tickets. The tickets are fifteen pounds and fourteen

1272
01:39:33.840 --> 01:39:40.880
plus make sure you put that and
it's gonna be a London. The event

1273
01:39:41.000 --> 01:39:46.119
center Instagram is this is Andrew Fuller. Yes, yeah, oh yeah,

1274
01:39:47.359 --> 01:39:51.399
perfect cool. That's sounds really good. Sounds really good. So I hope

1275
01:39:51.399 --> 01:39:56.159
that's that even when attended, and
like you said, you're sharing your stories,

1276
01:39:56.520 --> 01:40:00.239
your brothers, and we'll be talking
about in any importance of brother I

1277
01:40:00.239 --> 01:40:06.319
don't really, it's about making connections. Yeah, no, I was gonna

1278
01:40:06.399 --> 01:40:11.279
happen. I was gonna it always
happens, always happens, and then you

1279
01:40:11.359 --> 01:40:14.159
go you want that's when you ask
the question. At the end, I'm

1280
01:40:14.199 --> 01:40:16.760
like, Angela, what it's cool
because it's good. You gotta we gotta

1281
01:40:16.800 --> 01:40:19.319
get it all in there now.
He's in the hot seat. He knows

1282
01:40:19.359 --> 01:40:23.479
how it is. I know how
this is because I'm like, I'm trying

1283
01:40:23.520 --> 01:40:27.159
to I'm trying to go to break. And then she asked the ques angel

1284
01:40:27.439 --> 01:40:31.359
really Angela. But that's fine no, because we need we need to get

1285
01:40:31.399 --> 01:40:33.880
those we need to get. He's
given us a lot of good points.

1286
01:40:35.199 --> 01:40:44.920
So we're going to have your final
thoughts. Well play use you want to?

1287
01:40:45.159 --> 01:40:48.680
Okay, selected this one U twenty
three, so we should be able

1288
01:40:48.680 --> 01:40:53.199
to squeeze that in there. And
then with our final thoughts, it's p

1289
01:40:53.359 --> 01:41:09.479
J. Morton. Don't let go? A great choice. I know it's

1290
01:41:09.560 --> 01:41:19.520
been so harden, you don't know
what it all means. Mmm. But

1291
01:41:19.720 --> 01:41:31.079
don't you ever let it go?
See there's a raising you are still standing,

1292
01:41:31.399 --> 01:41:45.600
atter you seeing mm, So don't
you ever let go? Don't let

1293
01:41:45.720 --> 01:42:02.800
go, don't let go. Oh
please just don't ever let go. You're

1294
01:42:02.920 --> 01:42:13.199
getting tired, and it feels like
it's been going on for years. Oh

1295
01:42:15.800 --> 01:42:27.560
but don't you ever go. Nothing
wrong with cry, there's no denying.

1296
01:42:28.560 --> 01:42:38.359
Let it out o your tears.
Mmmm. But please just don't ever let

1297
01:42:38.560 --> 01:42:54.600
go, don't let go, don't
let go? Oh, don't you ever

1298
01:42:55.119 --> 01:43:12.039
let go? Don't let go,
don't let go? Oh, don't you

1299
01:43:12.439 --> 01:43:27.319
ever let go? Oh? So
right, so as you're back now,

1300
01:43:30.479 --> 01:43:35.880
that was don't let Go by p
J. Watson. Yeah, that was

1301
01:43:36.199 --> 01:43:40.920
was connuation by yourself. Stephen.
Can I put you on the spot again

1302
01:43:41.079 --> 01:43:45.479
enough? Your connection to that song? Why? Why? It's just just

1303
01:43:45.680 --> 01:43:48.479
the words. I think when I
first heard it, I think I was

1304
01:43:48.520 --> 01:43:54.119
going through some stuff and I think
it just struck a chord. YEA favorite

1305
01:43:54.159 --> 01:43:59.800
single words, no, no any
thing, don't you just keep on going?

1306
01:44:00.439 --> 01:44:03.399
Simple song, but the words are
very very very powerful, and I

1307
01:44:03.479 --> 01:44:06.840
think when I heard it the first
time, it just fotune my experience.

1308
01:44:06.880 --> 01:44:13.239
So yeah, very apt for today's
program as well. Yeah. I really

1309
01:44:13.319 --> 01:44:17.039
enjoyed that it was acapella too,
So I didn't expect that you so used

1310
01:44:17.079 --> 01:44:23.079
to music being you know, music
having music. Indeed, so Angela you

1311
01:44:23.560 --> 01:44:28.359
Zenia who would like to go final
thoughts first? Um? I can.

1312
01:44:30.239 --> 01:44:32.239
A lot has been said, a
lot has been discussed, a lot of

1313
01:44:32.359 --> 01:44:36.760
useful conversation, and we will have
it podcasted if you want to listen again.

1314
01:44:36.800 --> 01:44:41.439
Steven, thank you so much for
joining us to our last conversation with

1315
01:44:41.600 --> 01:44:45.600
your Angela's last conversation only sort of
hinted at what today would be like.

1316
01:44:45.720 --> 01:44:47.520
You were very open, very honest, and you shared some real stuff.

1317
01:44:48.439 --> 01:44:53.439
I wish you all the very best
with your ministry as you continue. At

1318
01:44:54.000 --> 01:44:58.119
the quote that I found that I
thought was so so good, It said

1319
01:44:58.479 --> 01:45:02.359
Matthew usin King in fact, we
must live together as brothers or we perish

1320
01:45:02.760 --> 01:45:06.960
alone. And I thought that was
so deep because it says to me what

1321
01:45:08.199 --> 01:45:13.560
brotherhood should be about. It is
coming together and strengthen, meet each other

1322
01:45:14.199 --> 01:45:20.920
and progressing because there is power and
purpose immunity, and that is what I

1323
01:45:21.079 --> 01:45:27.359
hope our listeners walk away with,
particularly our men. Our young men are

1324
01:45:27.479 --> 01:45:35.199
boys that connected Adela, which segues
into nicely what I was going to say,

1325
01:45:41.159 --> 01:45:43.800
obviously, and he wasn't able to
make it empty day, but hopefully

1326
01:45:43.840 --> 01:45:45.800
he'll be able to join this another
time. But shout out to him and

1327
01:45:45.920 --> 01:45:49.600
whether he's beginning with him this evening. But Steven, thank you so much

1328
01:45:49.640 --> 01:45:53.920
again. As Senya said, and
what I loved and I get thank you

1329
01:45:54.000 --> 01:45:59.079
for being for sharing and being so
open is about honestly vulnerability, and we

1330
01:45:59.159 --> 01:46:04.079
need to to connect. Will he
can help someone to share with someone to

1331
01:46:04.640 --> 01:46:10.840
my best connections. Especially as to
my first question, we are abother skeepers,

1332
01:46:11.199 --> 01:46:15.960
Yes we are because we're cool to
do that. So yeah as well.

1333
01:46:19.039 --> 01:46:23.399
And my final though pretty pretty much
that as men, as a as

1334
01:46:23.439 --> 01:46:27.880
a man, um, you have
to take care of yourself first, as

1335
01:46:27.880 --> 01:46:31.239
Steven said, we got to.
You got to take care of yourself and

1336
01:46:31.439 --> 01:46:35.600
be honest with yourself. And once
you do that, then everything else falls

1337
01:46:35.640 --> 01:46:40.279
into place and you can be the
father you need to be, be the

1338
01:46:40.439 --> 01:46:43.079
husband you need to be, be
the God friend man you need to be,

1339
01:46:43.319 --> 01:46:46.279
which is always first before everything else
because God is first, and then

1340
01:46:46.319 --> 01:46:51.199
the rest falls into place. Um. And then be willing to talk to

1341
01:46:51.560 --> 01:46:56.840
young men or talk to your kids
and be honest and just we got we

1342
01:46:56.960 --> 01:46:59.800
got I think I said, there's
a long time ago. I think in

1343
01:46:59.880 --> 01:47:01.840
a Halloween thing, you know,
like where at war with the devil,

1344
01:47:01.920 --> 01:47:06.800
with our children and with ourselves and
just just in our manhood and our brotherhood

1345
01:47:08.319 --> 01:47:13.760
where it war and we need to
just we need to stand fast and um

1346
01:47:14.039 --> 01:47:19.079
really get just knuckle down and just
get into the word and get God to

1347
01:47:19.319 --> 01:47:23.560
just lead us and everything that we
do, because if we don't let God

1348
01:47:23.640 --> 01:47:26.439
lead us, then we like you
I figure who said, but we would

1349
01:47:26.520 --> 01:47:30.159
never we just won't be right.
In the long run. We're gonna be

1350
01:47:30.199 --> 01:47:33.960
just fooling people and fooling ourselves more
than anything. So that would be my

1351
01:47:34.039 --> 01:47:41.600
final thought. So with the end
of that, oh, well, you

1352
01:47:41.640 --> 01:47:44.079
know I'm going to do something.
Stephen, would you be kind enough to

1353
01:47:44.119 --> 01:47:45.840
pray for us? Steve? I'm
sorry, I said, Stephen. I'm

1354
01:47:45.880 --> 01:48:01.760
and Steve's first thankful this time Spence
with a job about robinghood and what it

1355
01:48:01.760 --> 01:48:08.039
means. What's been said, which
has been over Hoorking. It's been challenging,

1356
01:48:09.159 --> 01:48:11.680
but not the experience has been with
us. So I'm asking a spirit

1357
01:48:11.760 --> 01:48:15.399
to help Post to apply the things
that we'd like today. Help Post to

1358
01:48:15.880 --> 01:48:19.279
be intentional, to go about trying
to make this a part of our experience.

1359
01:48:20.560 --> 01:48:26.720
Help Post to yes, stay humble
and am I your spirit to be

1360
01:48:27.680 --> 01:48:31.600
the ultimate guide and what we do. Pay for any young man listening in

1361
01:48:31.680 --> 01:48:36.640
this conversation, Pay for what you
can be him in a specially pro bide

1362
01:48:36.680 --> 01:48:42.800
for them, the right people to
be there for them, allow them to

1363
01:48:42.880 --> 01:48:47.399
navigate through their situations. I want
to prove everybody on the school. He

1364
01:48:47.600 --> 01:48:55.000
has facilitated this conversation. It's greatly
to continue to guide them to be them,

1365
01:48:56.159 --> 01:49:00.439
just to help them to continue to
use this platform. To of all

1366
01:49:03.399 --> 01:49:12.039
thank you. Before we leave,
I just had a thought to come across

1367
01:49:12.079 --> 01:49:15.800
my head. I'm sorry, as
you was praying, Um, as you

1368
01:49:15.880 --> 01:49:18.239
said earlier, we don't just because
you're not a pastor. I mean,

1369
01:49:18.279 --> 01:49:24.039
you can't preach and just want for
anybody out there just because you don't have

1370
01:49:24.159 --> 01:49:29.319
a I feel like we were talking
about when you preach, what genuine saying

1371
01:49:29.359 --> 01:49:31.720
and about. I think it's the
realness, Like you just come off as

1372
01:49:31.720 --> 01:49:36.239
really genuine, and I think that's
that is a good thing to have and

1373
01:49:36.359 --> 01:49:41.680
a good thing to possess because we
have pastors preaching sometimes and you know,

1374
01:49:41.720 --> 01:49:45.720
they got the MD and they got
the pH d, but they're not they're

1375
01:49:45.760 --> 01:49:48.680
not reaching anybody with they're preaching because
it's all technical. I think we need

1376
01:49:48.760 --> 01:49:51.720
to be as I said, we
need to be more real with the people,

1377
01:49:51.840 --> 01:49:57.640
with people in general, and just
transparent and just and just honest because

1378
01:49:57.720 --> 01:50:01.439
people people nowadays don't want a whole
bunch of book textbook talk. They want

1379
01:50:01.560 --> 01:50:04.880
real life talk. They want to
know what you're say. What you're going

1380
01:50:04.920 --> 01:50:09.600
through is what I'm going through.
So I just want to, you know,

1381
01:50:09.800 --> 01:50:14.079
say that appreciate your men, and
um definitely appreciate your testimony last week

1382
01:50:14.079 --> 01:50:20.560
and also coming on today and sharing
with us, um. Everything. So

1383
01:50:20.880 --> 01:50:25.760
this is the end of talking Point, and I guess I did okay for

1384
01:50:25.880 --> 01:50:32.359
my first time on the board.
So don't clap whatever, because that's like

1385
01:50:32.439 --> 01:50:35.239
a pity that's like a pity clop. That's like a pity clop, a

1386
01:50:35.319 --> 01:50:42.199
pity clop. You can't win,
that's right. You can't win with me.

1387
01:50:42.640 --> 01:50:45.439
You're right, you can't win with
me anyway. But um so,

1388
01:50:46.159 --> 01:50:51.600
actually after talking Point today, please
stay tuned because we're gonna have a very

1389
01:50:51.640 --> 01:50:57.479
own zen Ya doing Saturday Night Praise, which she's gonna come on and play

1390
01:50:57.520 --> 01:51:02.520
a whole bunch of good music,
dumping music, we get off, your

1391
01:51:02.640 --> 01:51:09.119
get off, your get off at
your seat and danced music. So in

1392
01:51:09.319 --> 01:51:12.920
Jesus name, of course, in
Jesus name, so please join us.

1393
01:51:13.560 --> 01:51:17.079
In a few minutes, you'll be
back on your lovely voice now. And

1394
01:51:19.159 --> 01:51:26.840
as for now, it's good night
from Zenia. Good night, Thank good

1395
01:51:26.880 --> 01:51:31.600
knife on page up all right and
this is talking to play. Have a

1396
01:51:31.680 --> 01:51:39.760
good night, God bless Adventist Radio, London. Inspiration for the song