Fame. He'd like to be walked on a leash and play really dirty,
kinky sex games. He's the guy put the cock in the Peacock network.
Okay, bitch here, everybody a J Benzi here with fame is a bitch.
This is your Daily Unfiltered podcast for August third, twenty twenty three eighth
three, two h two three. I want to talk to my patrons for
a moment and just let them know because I want to be respectful. We
all know that there's been some some sparks on the podcast obsets page with some
folks who aren't patrons who want to know why AJ hasn't done a three shell
since July tenth. A couple of those people are more than a few are
hot under the collar, and that's fine with me. I want them to
get anxious and look full or two a free show. I'm much rather they
become patrons. So with your permission, I'm gonna give them this show as
well. So it's going to go to you guys. Let's going to go
to them. So right now they're listening in. This is the Daily Unfilled.
It end the free show. It's gonna hit August third, twenty twenty
three. I'm not gonna do this a lot, but for this week,
I want empty hear what they're missing. All right, So you guys are
sitting in the restaurant you've been paying for, God bless you. I'm gonna
throw them a piece of cake and see how they like it. Maybe they'll
come around tomorrow and have dinner with their girlfriend or husband or wife or family.
Who knows, but we'll throw out some bait because this show's a good
one and I think you'll look great. It's a mixture of topical events,
current events, gossip, and also a very personal story, which is the
reason that I think my Paw podcast differs from other podcasts. Actually, it's
a reason I know it differs from other podcasts because I haven't yet found the
podcast that's honest his mind and gets as real as mind does at times.
Anybody could read you gossip and bring you the news blah blah blah, but
I do it a different way, and well, you patrons know what I
mean. So I'm gonna let the free people wet their beak if you don't
mind. I won't make it a regular practice, but forgive me this one
time. Let's begin with Madonna the Material Girl finally posted a health update the
other day, saying that she was lucky to be alive after she got that
small gift from a manager, guy Osiri, while she was surrounded by her
loved ones. Apparently Osiris just kind of wild. Dio Siri used to be
just a guy who wanted to be in music. It was always hobnobbing around
Madonna. Eventually he signed to be some sort of employee on her record label,
Maverick Records, back in the early nineties, and here we are,
all these years later. He's been her manager for a while, so he
found a way to get in that world, and him he's been in there
forever. I know. They dated for a minute too, so it's a
testament for either the kind of lover he was or the kind of lover madonnad
taught him to be. But either way, he's still in her life and
very important in her life. And according to Madonna's Instagram account, the president
he gave her was a polaroid taken by Andy Warhol. A polaroid taken by
Warhol of the artist Keith Harring wearing a shacket with Michael Jackson's face painted on
it. By Keith harry That's quite a triumvirate of fame right there, a
warhole, Harring and Michael Jackson. And Madonna said, if you zoom into
this picture I'm holding, you will see a polaroid taken by a wharhol of
Keith Harrying where a jacket with Michael's face painted on it. A perfect triangle
of brilliant billions. Really, I just said that, and that's exactly what
it is. That's quite a gift. But Madonna was around those people,
and she came up during a time where those people were still alive and imployed.
Were they very important figures before a Warhole got shot and later died,
and Harring died and Michael overdosed, and well, Madonna almost almost lost her
life in a few weeks back. And she's now getting all soft and sweet
about it. She said, artist who touched so many lives, including my
own. I sobbed when I opened this gift because I realized how lucky I
am to be alive, and how fortunate I am to have known these people
and so many others who are also gone. I'm not going to make fun
of this quote. I think if the most real Madonna has been in a
long time. We all know how phony she can be. We all know
how she puts on facades and wants people to look at her from a different
angle, and dresses up like a teenager, you know, dating guys who
are twenty twenty two years old, when she's in her mid sixties. It's
I think gross and a bit much, but I think would have happened to
her. I think this medical event, as we say now, the term
health scare is gone. It's now a medical event followed by suddenly dying.
George Colin would love this bit. George Colin would be doing this bit right
now post COVID every night, have you noticed people suddenly dying which was suddenly
dying medically? It's all true. They they they've coined new terms to make
us feel more comfortable. But the ridiculous drama surrounding us that has all to
do with the vaccination and its deadly side effects. I don't think I ever
saw Andy Warhole out. I don't think. I don't think I did.
I saw John Michelle Basquiat, the great artist and friend of Warholes. I
saw Keith Haring a lot, I saw Madonna a lot obviously, but yeah
brings back memories of those days in New York City of the late eighties and
nineties and the god the amount of geniuses walking around the nightclubs and the restaurants
and the small city streets that we all shared. Madonna went on to say
that she saw it because she realized how lucky she was to beat around,
and she thanked Io Sirian said thank you to all my angels who protected me
and let me stay to finish doing my work. She also reflected on the
love she had for her family and how quote, you can really get caught
up in the needs of your children as a mom. Love from family and
friends is the best medicine. One month out of the hospital, and I
can reflect as a mother, you can really get caught up in the needs
of your kids and the seemingly endless giving. When the chips were down,
my children really shut up for me. Madonna said that she saw a side
to those kids that she'd never seen before, and it made all the difference.
I'm gonna say something right now, I've never seen Madonna sounds so true,
so honest, so raw, And dare I say, like an Italian
or an aunt I've never seen her talking about children like this. You know,
I got to the point where she had so many adopted kids that I
don't even know who's from who, who the twins, which part of Africa
they come from, blah blah blah. But you know what, who am
I to say? It's all bullshit? She loves these kids as much as
she has this crazy life when she dates younger guys and black guys with big
al FROs, with smoke pot all day and she puts up videos of her
making out with them, making out a chick to the back of a town
call whatever. I hope this medical event changes the way Madonna acts from here
on, as I like her like this, and she thanked her many fans
for their support and their positive energy, prayers and words of healing and encouragement.
I felt your love, she said. I'm on the road to recovery
and incredibly grateful for all the blessings. My first thought when I woke up
in the hospital was children. My second thought was that I did not want
to disappoint that anyone who bought tickets for my tour. Good she put her
kids before her work. Thank god she said it that way, or us,
it would be very critical, she said, I didn't want to let
anybody down, the people who worked tirelessly with me over the last few months
to create my show. I hate to disappoint anyone. I got news to
you. Whenever this tour kicks off, being October or November, depending upon
her health, I am guaranteeing it right now, this will be the best
tour she's had in twenty five years. And previously I said that she's going
to come up with an injury because her knees were bad, her legs are
bad, her health is failing. I think mcdonna's going to rally and make
this the best goddamn tour she's had in a long time. And I'm rooting
for her. We made fun of her for far too long, and she
allowed us to do it. Let's be honest. You know, I can't
believe it's been a month after she was found unresponsive in her house in New
York and they went to ICU. Unresponsive as a very scary way to be
found. It means they can't wake you up. I mean, it's like
curtains. You're facing the possibility of curtains. It's over. They gave her
nard can. We found out a few days later, thinking that she had
it overdose. They tried everything. Her body was lifeless. They said,
I mean that death would have been as big as Michael Jackson and Prince,
maybe bigger, I don't know. Maybe behind Michael Jackson and above Prince,
maybe she'd be number two. Who's to say, But could you imagine those
three going that way? Not the same. McDonald was on drugs, but
they did administer nar can. Did they know something? We don't know now.
I'm sure we'll never find out. We've heard it was some kind of
bacterial infection, viral infection, what have you? God knows. I had
that in my lung. It came out of nowhere six or seven, eight
years ago, whenever it was. I spent thirty days in the hospital before
my lung was deflated, my rib was broken. They took my lung out
of my body, scraped all the junk off, and put it back in
and blew it up in a five hours surgery because nothing else was working.
How did that happen? I have no idea. I went to New York
for four or five days. It came back with a terrible infection in my
left lung. Never smoked a cigarette in my life, but it was filled
with pneumonia. And then I got COVID pneumonia a few years back and spent
eight days and I See you. That's the only reason why I got damn
vaccination, and I cursed the fact that I did. I've had COVID three
times since that vax, only once. Before the vax, we were lied
to, we were bullshitted, and God knows what's going to happen going forward.
Sorry, I had to stop the show for a second. Took to
the right behind me on the bed low barking for some treats. All I
have is a little bit of beef jerkey. I gave it to her.
I know the sole content can't be good for me. That's all I got
right now. She loved to be. She's going to town on it right
now. She'll be fine if she balks again. Don't mind. This is
the kind of podcast I do. Guyo. Siri said that Madonna developed a
serious bacterial infection and that's why she stayed several days in I See You.
I'm not sure if I'll know the truth. I'm not sure if that is
the truth, but it needs to be said that I wasn't there for the
same thing, So who am I to say she's lying. I don't know
mcdonnald to ever be a drug addict, but I think, look, it
seems to me that it took a near death experience for McDonald to finally show
an ounce of humility. That's for the way she's been of late the last
several years. She was kind of out of control her face, her hair,
clothing, her friendships, her romances, which is not commends ate with
a woman in her sixties. Okay, but I tell you what, guys,
I'm hearing and reading so many celebrities saying they're happy to be alive after
various health scares, and it's very unsettling. Never before in my life have
I seen so many people keeling over, fainting, dying suddenly on ball fields
or TV studios. And I think even the staunchest people who are pro vacs,
even they now know, Okay, this is getting a bit ridiculous or
several years out now, mild card dinas is obviously a side effect that's been
proven. People are falling over like chess pieces on a fucking chess game on
a boat during a tidal wave. Everybody's fallen over. If I said to
you, I didn't think that's gonna happen to me every day, I'd be
lying. Most of my time. When I'm not with a girlfriend, I'm
alone. And when I'm alone, I often think, does it happen today?
Tonight? While I'm walking TUTSI, I wrap her leisure around my fist.
I have her chain on with my number on it. There's a chip
in her childerblades. You know, I just get nervous. I don't go
too far. There is an eerie video making its way around Instagram and Twitter.
I think it shows at least two dozen artist and newspeople and athletes just
collapsing. Very scary to watch, but I ask you try to find it,
watch it at least two times, because it could be you next.
If I come across it again, I'll let you people know where you can
find it. It's worse than any horror movie now playing in theaters, because
this is real, and it's already in a neighborhood nearest you. And on
the heels of Madonna feeling better and I may say, finally looking better.
The last photo I saw of her, she didn't look as puffy while wearing
her hair like the Swiss Miss hot Trocolate girl. She finally looked like a
woman age appropriate, which is to say she looked great for sixty four and
there's nothing wrong with dad. In fact, she needs friends around her a
hold that intervention to let her know, Madge, you look way better like
this. And you know, all you fans of the teenage sex drenched HBO
hit Euphoria, I'm sure was saddened to hear the death of the young,
formerly unknown actor who played the drug dealer with a heart named Fesco. The
kid was twenty five years old, apparently died of a drug overdose a couple
of days ago. He was named August Cloud, and he was already to
global fame. He may have already gotten a taste of it. Not bad
for a kid who had no acting experience, who was working in a Brooklyn
restaurant before being scouted out by an HBO casting agent. How's that? The
papers say the kid's father died a few days earlier, and it tore him
up inside. And it was his mother who made the nine one one call
and said she found him unresponsive with no heartbeat, and she told dispatchers,
it was probably an overdose. Finally, an honest person, however painful it
must have been for her to say that, and I can't even imagine she
must have known her son had addiction issues. Euphoria's Creepy Sex Star creator Sam
Levinson also relayed in a tweet that Angus Cloud suffered addiction issues and depression.
Quote like a lot of us, so obviously he knew. The kids makeup.
No, I'm not making a joke here. It's a very sad story,
but these type of deaths are also happening way too often. Last week,
he buried his father and intensely struggled with his loss. The family wrote
the only comfort we have is knowing Angers is now reunited with his dad,
who was his best friend. Angers was open about his battle of mental health,
and we hope that his passing can now be a reminder to others that
they're not alone and should not fight this on their own in silence. You
know, I used to make fun and I still do sometimes make fun of
all these young, seemingly strong actors, recording artists, athletes, all being
so open about I hate time for my mental health. It's something people my
age never said. You never heard someone go I time out. I gotta
I can't play basketball this season. I need time for my mental health.
Your parents wouldn't hear, but your cultures wouldn't hear, but your friends would
laugh at you. And maybe that's the reason why some kids died back in
the day, or some kids turned to drugs back in the day. I
mean, there's always been bad parenting, There's always been temptation of drugs.
There's always been ship like that where kids get lost in the shuffle of a
bad marriage or god knows what. I make fun of it because I think
that in some ways it's kind of weak, Like what's with this new generation
of kids all taking time out for their mental health. I don't struggle with
mental health issues. I mean, I'm a little bit fucking crazy. I
know that. I accept it. Many of you out there do. And
maybe you think I'm crash for acting that way, And if you think so,
I apologize. I don't mean to be crashed. I just never heard
it mentioned so often, but now it's mentioned constantly, and you know,
maybe that's a good thing. I'm sure it's a good thing, but it
didn't stop Angus Cloud from dying, very sad, very said, I'm a
little MOPI tonight, Little mo peolet said, I had I had some complimentary
stage at a hotel here and Vegas, so I took him because I don't
think I'll be taking them much longer. And the girlfriend's laid up with all
sorts of ship throat problems, your name it. She's got a call,
I'm not a call the flu, and she's on endibiotics and she's in a
bad way. So I said, all right, look, I'm gonna go
over there and take these three nights I got free coming to me. And
but I'm lonely. You know, I'm with the dog and it's fine,
but I'm lonely. And when I read about these deaths, it gets to
me, especially young kids with the whole world in their hands. The family
closed their comments by saying, we hope the world remembers Angus for his humor,
laughter and love for everyone. We asked for privacy at this time as
we're still processing this devastating loss, and in a statement on behalf of HBO,
a spokesperson said, we're incredibly saddened to learn of the passing language cloud.
Immensely talented beloved part of the family, deepest condolences, difficult time,
etc. We get it. They pulled those letters out of the drawl.
There's nothing original or new about those notes, as impersonal as it sounds.
Hopefully they don't act as personal behind closed doors. But this kid was doing
one just for that show. He became a name that was just launched into
our culture alongside a lot of other members of that young Kiss India Sidney Sweeney,
Maud, what's your name, apatal I mean, next generation of actress,
come at you? Getting widespread praise Anger Scott for his command of his
role in his unique presence as a performer. The character who played Fesco was
a high school dropout who deals drugs alongside his younger adoptive brother named ash Tray.
The kid had a tough exterior, but also had a big heart and
at the end of the day, Fesco was one of the biggest advocates for
his friend and one time client, Roue, who was played by his India,
and he pushed her to commit to her sobriety, which is not what
drug addicts tend to do. And I remember in the several episodes I saw
of Euphoria it was a little too much for me. My daughter was seventeen
at the time, and I couldn't believe that this is the kind of stuff
you can see on HBO, sex and drugs and just too much. Man,
gay fathers, screwing young kids in high school, just too much.
I never believed Zenda as a drug addict. I just didn't. I think.
I know, the girl's got a huge future in front of hers.
She's beautiful, she's talented. I never believed her because she doesn't yet have
the experience to portray that side of life. She's led a charmed life since
she was a child on the Disney Channel on the show call Shake It Up
with Bella Thorne. Now, Bella Thorne could certainly play a drug addict in
a second as soon as she takes time away from her only fans account.
But anders Cloud was perfect as this drug dealer with a heart of gold and
someone who didn't want to see Zendeia's character go down that lane in life.
And the kid, in my opinion, had to have some type of experience
at such a young age to portray the intricacies of that type of role.
And as he was about to take off like a Rocket. In addition to
Euphoria, he can be seen in a couple of independent movies, one called
North Hollywood, one called The Line. He was in music videos from Juice
World, Becky G and Carol G. I don't know Becky G and Carol
G, but act like I do. I know Juice World, but not
Becky and Carold anyhow. At this year's Tribeca Film Festival, he was in
something called The Line, which is coming out. Tells the story of a
university's doing living life without fear of consequences. Interesting, okay. John Malkovitch,
Scott McNairy star alongside him. It's pretty heavy stuff. Most recently,
he wrapped the supporting role opposite Ben Mendelssohn, Pedro Pascal and Jay Ellis in
a horror will be called Freaky Tales. He'd also been cast for roles in
the horror thriller Your Lucky Day and in Universal Pictures untitled Minster movie from Radio
Silence. So the whole thing is said, very sad. No word yet
on how his dad died, but I am curious to know. I don't
want to say the wrong thing, but was the father somebody who had a
diction issues? Is that who Angus looked up to. Is that the same
room he went down? We don't rightly know yet, but let me say
this, This young kid's death reminds me of a surprising and sudden death of
a beautiful young actor in the nineteen eighties named James Hayden. Most of you
don't know him, okay. Back in nineteen eighty three, James Hayden wasn't.
I was studying acting in the city and James Hayden, who we call
Jimmy, we're dropped in to our acting class from time to time. I
didn't get too close to him because he smoked like a chimney, and I
was more concerned with you know, I didn't want to I wanted to get
better as an actor. I didn't want to have my eyes all red and
my nose clog from cigarette smoke because he smoked incessantly, just like the other
kid in my class, Andrew McCarthy. That's all they did, smoke one
cigarette after they lit one cigarette with the other one. It was insane.
My allergies would would would prick up, and I couldn't stand it. But
I loved watching Jimmy Hayden and class. He had this frenetic energy. He
used to come in with a wrinkled white T shirt, a Paruccinos on with
no doubt, white converse sneakers, of full head of hair that was never
comb but it looked great, and blue blue eyes that kind of eyes only
Irish kids are born with. One day I saw he was starring alongside Jimmy
Johnston and Alpaccino in an off Broadway play, a production of David Mammott's tremendous
play American Buffalo. Oh my God, Back then, David Mammott's words were
more important to me than the Bible. Well that's not really. The Bible
was never important to mean, but you know what I mean. David Mammott's
words were the Bible, and I would pay to see Paccino read the phone
book. American Buffalo is a great play from the Master of American Trauma,
where three guys struggle with poverty, friendship, and trust. Well, they
try to put together a burglary, a robbery. They named don Teach and
Bobby, and they discussed their plans to commit this crime in Donnie's busted up
pawn shop. And every word in every silence means more than what it seems
that's the way David Mammot writes. The spaces mean more than the words.
Sometimes go watch Glengarry, Glenn Ross, or House of Cars or anything else.
David Mammon has written Central Perversity in Chicago. He also wrote the screenplays
for The Postman Always Rings Twice, The Untouchables, The Verdict, Hafa Wegg,
The Dog, Hannibal. Yeah he's pretty good. Anyhow, I was
dating my first wife back then and we scraped up the money to go see
American Buffalo. I think it was at the Booth Theater, I believe,
and I began to play, and I was transfixed because we sat so close
that we could see the spit fly from al Pacino's mouth during his opening monologue,
which begins with him saying fucking Ruthie at least seven or eight times.
And that's a monologue I would later use for any and all auditions going forward.
Give you a taste, but the Internet has been scrubbed of any in
all monologue from David Mammott's works. Anyhow, as the play went on,
I found myself staring more and more at Jimmy Hayden, and most of the
time he was just sweeping the floor of the pawn shop, and he didn't
deject some ideas on how to help the guys pull off this robbery. But
the play went on, And as it went on, I remember saying to
my girl Jen, this guy, this guy's too good at playing a junkie.
He's got to be a junkie. He's not this fucked up in class.
But he is here, and Jen's gonna sh because I'm just saying it.
It's too good. It was my earliest days of seeing anyone on Heroin
up close, and as I got older, I would get very close to
seeing it up close. It was also always such a scary word, heroin
that capitally growing up. It took Janis Joplin, Jimmy Hendricks, Tommy Bolin
of Deep Purple, Sid Vicious, Pete Farndon of The Pretenders, Phil Lynot
of Tin, Lizzie Kurt Cobain, Dee Dee Ramone, and so many others.
It was so scary that stupid me in my thirties, back when I
was walking around on paint pills, knowing I had so many opiates in my
system, sometimes thirty Pertina sets a day, I decided to try it one
night on New Year's Eve when a Rolling Stones session and player named Jimmy RiPP
began smoking it all some tinfall in the back of a club right before the
ball drop. Now I was petrified of that stuff, I really was.
I remember reading the word so many times when I used to pour over my
father's old yellow typed out reports he used to make on a daily basis while
he worked as an undercover narcotics cop for the US Treasury. I mean,
Jesus. Back in nineteen fifty eight, he was credited with making the biggest
heroine bust in New York City's history. It was two and a half million
bucks back then, that was the record. He took down an little dealer
named Sally Gelb, who was the heir apparent to an infamous heroin dealer named
Waxy Gordon who was famously portrayed on Boardwalk Empire by the actor Nick Sandow.
As a kid, I used to rummage through my father's top drawer and I
hold his lock picks. And he had this small unloaded Spanish pistol that he
used to strap to his inside of his thought. Even the drug kits he
still kept from his days on the job to see if drugs were positive for
heroin, a cocaine or hasheesh, what have you? All those things in
that draw had a certain and smell to them. That top draw was intoxicating
to me, the smell of history and danger and also smell to my father's
heroics as a younger man. And despite all that, I still decided to
snort some heroine off Chimmy Riff's stash that night, right before the ball dropped
in nineteen ninety eight. So I wouldn't smoke it, I would never inject
it. But I did snort it, and I didn't get sick. I
didn't throw up, which everybody says, as you do the first time you
try heroin. But I didn't exactly like the way I felt once the high
war off it was. I don't know. I felt. I felt useless
the entire first day of nineteen ninety nine, and I was smart enough to
snap out of it and never let it seduce me again. But I remember
being so foolish and flip it when I said to myself that night as the
countdown began, I said to my stupid self, if you're ever gonna try
it, it should be with a guy who plays for the Rolling Stones.
What could be cool than that asshole? Anyhow, back to American Buffalo,
the play ends naturally, the crowds on their feet. Every actor gets a
rousing ovation. Jimmy Jonathan goes first boom, Jimmy Hayden goes next boom.
Pecino gets the bigger plus. But there was something about how the noise went
up for Jimmy Hayden's bow. He had this young face, those blue blue
eyes, this life within him. It resolves as if the crowd knew we
were witnessing the birth of America's next big star. And it went on for
minutes, and he looked so full of life. I couldn't wait to tell
him how great he was the next time I saw him in class. After
everyone exited the theater, I told my wife I really wanted to see Pecino
and get his autograph on the playbill. When she was more than game,
and I went to the parking garage next door. I got the car and
left it running on the curb, and after about thirty minutes on this cold
November night, Pecino emerges from the stage door with that famous smile We've seen
a million times, and I know I've said this before, But when he
walked onto the sidewalk and everyone's sticking out their playbills and their pens, I
just didn't bother because I was directly in front of him, and our eyes
met. Maybe it was because my wife was my girlfriend was so pretty,
I don't know, but our eyes met, and all I could do was
stick out my hand, fucked the autograph. I want to touch him,
and he shook it and gave me an embrace, a warm pecino embraced we've
seen so many times, and he looked hard at my wife's face too,
before he made his way into the back black town car waiting for him at
the curb, which was paused in front of my car. And as soon
as the town car that Puccino was in began to drive off toward the Lincoln
Tunnel, we followed back then I was drying a black not a silver RX
seven, loved it, moon roof, the whole thing, blow punk stereo
and him and that ship and both of our cars hit several red lights at
the same time, and I pulled up beside him. My wife was yelling
for him, which was not really like her, but we were just in
the moment screaming his name. I wanted to tell her to stop, but
I was kind of anxious to see what would happen, so I let her
keep going. And finally, at the third or fourth light, whatever it
was, he lowers the window and he says, what is it, sweetheart?
Did you like the show? And we hell, yeah, we loved
it. You're great the whole thing. And then she said, oh my
god, I've got to get out and hug you. I couldn't wish.
She said that that's not the way Jennifer was, and he smiled, rolled
up the window again, and we drive off. I said, you're fucking
crazy. I gotta do it. I know, I know I can do
it. I said, all right, all right, I'll keep following.
I said, but two more lights. We're gonna be in Jersey, the
light right before the New Jersey of the Lincoln Tunnel. We're alongside him to
the left, but Cho opens his door and gets out. Jennifer jumps out
of the car. He gave her a quick cug In the nighttime are you
could see their breath in the in the in the in the air above their
heads, and he waved to us and fell back inside, and their car
went off and we made a left and thund of get the hell out of
her head back to Long Island. I could cry remembering it. The next
day, I'm getting ready to take the train into the city from my acting
class with Mirror Rostova. It was a four hour class from well, there
was a daytime class at a nintime class. I took the daytime class sometimes
from one to five, and I thought, maybe Jimmy, it'll show up,
and I don't know, maybe he's gonna tune up something he was working
on, which didn't make sense because he was on a play, right,
Yeah, but you know, you never know. I know he I'd read
that he just wrapped up a big Sergio Leone movie, Once upon a Time
in America, opposite Robert de Niro. I mean, there was no doubt
he was on his way. I get the class and the news hits,
and I saw a few girls crying in a corner, and our coach Mira
sat us down and told us in a very gentle Russian measured tones that Jimmy
Hayden had died of a heroine over those earlier that day. And apparently the
news was already all over Hollywood and made it slowly into New York City and
even into the tiny fourth story walk up loft on West sixteen Street, where
more than a few of us all hoped we'd grow up to be half as
good as Jimmy. One day and it was almost impossible to believe the papers
came out apparently he died just six hours after he'd received that standing ovation we
all gave him for his performance as Bobby in American Buffalo. I didn't think
he ever needed to be more high than that ovation, but that is what
addiction is all about. He was a twenty nine year old kid reaching for
stardom while struggling to escape the street life of his past, the pass which
not many people have. Not many friends of Israel colleagues knew. What I
didn't know was that Jimmy had dedicated his performances in both American Buffalo and the
season before as a view from the bridge to his buddy Michael T. Cool,
who was his roommate who also about Heroine over those two years earlier.
The stories in the paper said Jimmy had lived on the street as a teenager,
and he got admissioned into the American Academy of dramatic arts without any prior
acting experience. That's how good he was, that's how pure. The talent
ran through his veins, and that's what drugs took from us. Because that
heroine ran faster through his days. That's what makes it so fucking infuriated.
And who knows. Maybe he romanticized in the same manner I did. Maybe
he looked at heroine and had thought, oh, I've kind to try this,
even though I'm petrified with here. I don't know, but I'm very
thankful. The angel on my shoulder was a bit louder and more persuasive than
the one on his. But who the hell knows? Who knows why some
of us live and some of us played too soon? I don't have the
answer, do you. I'm aj Benzo, that was Famous a Bitch.
August three, twenty twenty three. Talk to you to thank you for listening.
Fame as a Bitch is an AJ Benza Workhouse Connect production featuring the endless
wisdom, insightful commentary, and sometimes fucked up perspective of a J. Benza.
Executive producer Mike Agavino