WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.760 --> 00:00:15.039 Adventist Radio London. Inspiration for the song We welcome to Talking Point with Ray 2 00:00:16.160 --> 00:00:22.039 Angela, discussing the hot topics and answering your questions Saturday's five to seven pm 3 00:00:22.079 --> 00:00:27.399 on Adventist Radio London. It's talking Point, it's talking Point, it's talking 4 00:00:27.480 --> 00:00:37.320 Point, it's talking Point conversations. You need to have. Good afternoon, 5 00:00:37.520 --> 00:00:43.479 good evening, and welcome to Talking Point. Apologies for being late. We've 6 00:00:44.320 --> 00:00:49.560 had technical difficulties, but we are on. We are live and praise the 7 00:00:49.600 --> 00:00:57.200 Lord. Uh it's forty minutes past the hour of five o'clock and yes, 8 00:00:57.240 --> 00:01:00.079 as I said, we are running a bit late, but we'll get it 9 00:01:00.119 --> 00:01:04.959 all packed in we usually do, so we'll sort of hasten to the point. 10 00:01:06.000 --> 00:01:14.120 Today we are talking friendship and we've got Angela, Pedro's away and lafternoon 11 00:01:14.159 --> 00:01:17.719 Pedro, I know he is listening in, and we've also got Eucheney who's 12 00:01:17.840 --> 00:01:23.159 joining us as well. You will know if you're a regular listener to Adventist 13 00:01:23.239 --> 00:01:26.640 Radio London, you'll know the voice of Uchennie. But I'll let her come 14 00:01:26.680 --> 00:01:30.519 on and share a little bit about herself before we get into the discussion. 15 00:01:32.480 --> 00:01:38.040 Let's just pray and then we'll get we'll get started, definitely, Father, 16 00:01:38.519 --> 00:01:42.640 thank you so much for allowing us this opportunity. Another devil is at work. 17 00:01:42.680 --> 00:01:47.719 There's been delays, there's been technical difficulties. But we are here and 18 00:01:47.879 --> 00:01:49.879 we're going to have this conversation, and we pray that it will be a 19 00:01:49.959 --> 00:01:57.680 blessing to someone somewhere in Jesus name. I pray, Amen and amen. 20 00:01:59.560 --> 00:02:04.040 Right, I think we should do a sound check because I'm barely hearing myself. 21 00:02:04.799 --> 00:02:08.080 I'm hoping everything's up and running. But yes, let's do that, 22 00:02:08.280 --> 00:02:13.840 and I'll start by saying good afternoon to you, Auntie. How are you 23 00:02:15.280 --> 00:02:22.080 afternoon? I actually feel quite stressed right now, like we've had technical difficulties. 24 00:02:22.840 --> 00:02:25.520 I'm sitting in a room or currently at Ballum and for some reason, 25 00:02:25.680 --> 00:02:30.439 I've got two laptots with me today and both of them zoom was doing its 26 00:02:30.520 --> 00:02:35.080 own thing. Sometimes technology is fantastic, but when it should be. I 27 00:02:35.120 --> 00:02:38.120 mean, I shouldn't even say this because it feels quite scary to be the 28 00:02:38.159 --> 00:02:40.919 case. It's like it has a mind of it in the whole world at 29 00:02:42.039 --> 00:02:45.719 Ai now and things happening, But seriously, I don't know what's going on 30 00:02:45.759 --> 00:02:53.759 there. Maybe but you know what, aside from that, the stress of 31 00:02:53.800 --> 00:03:00.599 the I've been quite hot. I'm not too I'm good actually bit tired. 32 00:03:00.759 --> 00:03:05.080 The week's been busy as always, but I've been here at Balerm it's been 33 00:03:05.120 --> 00:03:09.000 the youth camp meeting program, so that's actually been Yeah, it's been a 34 00:03:09.159 --> 00:03:12.960 it's been a blessing. I've sort of tuned in throughout the week, and 35 00:03:13.039 --> 00:03:20.199 today's sermon and program was really good present worship. The word from doctor Myron 36 00:03:20.840 --> 00:03:24.919 Edmonds was Yeah, he was on point, on point, really really thought 37 00:03:24.919 --> 00:03:29.479 provoking, and hopefully we're going to get him on the show at a later 38 00:03:29.560 --> 00:03:34.080 day how to chat with him afterwards. He's got really interesting story, his 39 00:03:34.199 --> 00:03:37.960 own personal testimony and the work that he does as well. So yeah, 40 00:03:38.039 --> 00:03:43.039 we'll watch this space and hopefully the conversation with him at some point in the 41 00:03:43.080 --> 00:03:46.240 future. So yeah, well good, Yeah, and I'm sure, as 42 00:03:46.360 --> 00:03:49.400 is usually the case, it will be available online at some point for those 43 00:03:50.159 --> 00:03:55.360 Yeah, I mean an ex streaming all week media and our own Ballom YouTube, 44 00:03:55.400 --> 00:03:58.879 So yeah, do check it out afterwards. Yeah, his message was 45 00:03:58.919 --> 00:04:00.800 powerful today. It's been really good actually, ones, I've checked it out 46 00:04:00.840 --> 00:04:05.199 this week. So and the thing was about being the change, and I 47 00:04:05.199 --> 00:04:09.039 think it's you know, it's really it's about what we can do to make 48 00:04:09.639 --> 00:04:13.919 things more real and palatable and influential within our communities. You know, it 49 00:04:13.960 --> 00:04:20.040 starts with us and radiates out. Yeah, yes, indeed from me. 50 00:04:20.079 --> 00:04:24.800 I'm hoping you are hearing me, okay, and our listeners as well. 51 00:04:25.079 --> 00:04:31.199 If anybody isn't, then do let us know, don't let us know sometimes 52 00:04:31.439 --> 00:04:39.279 well, as it's been today, are exactly do let us know it's all 53 00:04:39.319 --> 00:04:42.160 happened. And it's usually when I'm in the hot seat as well. I 54 00:04:42.160 --> 00:04:46.560 don't even understand that. Also, do let us do let us know what 55 00:04:46.639 --> 00:04:50.279 your thoughts are as well. We want to hear from you. It's a 56 00:04:50.399 --> 00:04:53.839 you know, it's a talk show. We're talking. We want to hear 57 00:04:53.920 --> 00:04:57.759 your thoughts as well, want you to contribute. I don't never have the 58 00:04:57.839 --> 00:05:06.279 number in front of me so I can yeah messages or call us yeah and 59 00:05:06.720 --> 00:05:11.079 waiting in the conversation. Absolutely, I mean it won't. I think it'll 60 00:05:11.120 --> 00:05:15.360 add an extra layer to hear from our listeners and of obviously to hear their 61 00:05:15.399 --> 00:05:20.240 take on whatever we discuss. The number it's eight triple two eight, and 62 00:05:20.240 --> 00:05:25.439 that's a text you write the word hope, you leave a space and you 63 00:05:25.519 --> 00:05:29.879 send your message or you can email. It's studio at ad mentis Radio dot 64 00:05:29.959 --> 00:05:33.680 London and today in lieu of the fact that we're celebrating friends and friendship, 65 00:05:34.240 --> 00:05:38.240 if you want to send a request to your friend, then here is the 66 00:05:38.319 --> 00:05:43.519 opportunity. We've got you know, minutes to feel and we'll certainly love to 67 00:05:43.519 --> 00:05:46.319 hear from you. And if it's just that you're sending a shout out to 68 00:05:46.360 --> 00:05:49.639 a friend, we'll be happy with our pleasure to put that on the air 69 00:05:49.800 --> 00:05:56.399 for you as well. And shout out to bricks Kids, who normally goes 70 00:05:56.439 --> 00:06:01.199 before us in terms of programming and following. BRIT's Kids are following talking Point 71 00:06:01.240 --> 00:06:10.879 this evening within myself shameless plug with Saturday Night Praise and again we want you 72 00:06:10.959 --> 00:06:16.120 to stay with us and to get involved in that as well. Just before 73 00:06:16.120 --> 00:06:19.920 I move on to your journey, how was your week? What have you 74 00:06:19.959 --> 00:06:28.439 been up to? Angie? Oh me? Sorry? My week? Yeah? 75 00:06:28.480 --> 00:06:32.279 What am I doing this week? Work? Mainly? Yeah, it's 76 00:06:32.360 --> 00:06:36.879 kind of busy. It's busy ish, I guess a lot of students have 77 00:06:36.920 --> 00:06:42.519 just received their results, so we're getting a few comings through who are saying, 78 00:06:42.600 --> 00:06:45.240 oh, I've not really got the results that I wanted. What can 79 00:06:45.319 --> 00:06:49.720 I do potentially maybe for some people to do research. I have dow Master 80 00:06:49.839 --> 00:06:53.439 students that I work with, so they've got to sort of come to the 81 00:06:53.519 --> 00:06:58.879 ending their dissertation, so I'm getting a few of that. I went to 82 00:06:58.920 --> 00:07:03.519 get my eyes tested, I think headaches recently, and I think it's been 83 00:07:03.560 --> 00:07:09.879 down to the fact that my eyes are aging and getting worse. That's literally 84 00:07:09.920 --> 00:07:14.040 what the optician told me. Everything else but my eyes are fine apart from 85 00:07:14.279 --> 00:07:18.680 they're just getting old slightly. So it just it's just a natural aging process. 86 00:07:18.759 --> 00:07:24.680 So I've got my prescription has changed. I'd getting new glasses soon. 87 00:07:24.839 --> 00:07:30.680 So yeah, that's kind of it. Really. Yeah, nothing too exciting 88 00:07:30.720 --> 00:07:33.600 and poplars that I have been checking out the cat meeting programs. It's been 89 00:07:33.639 --> 00:07:36.759 quite interesting. Cat meeting has been very different. You know, the adult 90 00:07:36.800 --> 00:07:41.399 one and the senior one was up in hayes Wood. From what I understand 91 00:07:41.439 --> 00:07:45.199 that was that was really well received as well and with good I checked out 92 00:07:45.199 --> 00:07:48.959 the youth one. It's my hand checked so not so I think claim the 93 00:07:49.040 --> 00:08:01.279 US you know exactly. It's like, yeah, yeah, that's so but 94 00:08:01.360 --> 00:08:07.879 yeah, now my week was my Bluemaster as well. Yeah it's been. 95 00:08:09.240 --> 00:08:16.800 Yeah, it's sim busy. I mean I think it's like you're Jenny welcome. 96 00:08:16.000 --> 00:08:18.319 Thank you so much for joining us. Thank you for joining us on. 97 00:08:20.600 --> 00:08:22.759 Even though it's been a bit for chaos, You've been your health fast. 98 00:08:24.360 --> 00:08:28.480 Yeah, you see, I'm chilled that you see. Yeah, I 99 00:08:28.600 --> 00:08:33.080 just came from my afternoon sabbath walk because so I'm good. So I can 100 00:08:33.159 --> 00:08:41.200 just sit here and watch the chaos and just be cool right there. Empty. 101 00:08:41.720 --> 00:08:46.279 That's that's that's a preaching moment right there as well, calm in the 102 00:08:46.360 --> 00:08:50.559 chaos. There, you're going, how are you? How's your week been? 103 00:08:50.559 --> 00:08:54.120 I might as well pull you into the conversation, But first, just 104 00:08:54.360 --> 00:08:58.320 let the folks know a little bit about yourself. I'm sure they do know 105 00:08:58.639 --> 00:09:01.840 my listeners to a r L. But share a little bit about you, 106 00:09:01.879 --> 00:09:03.679 and then you can tell us how you're week. Wepped? Okay? So, 107 00:09:03.919 --> 00:09:09.480 yes, I'm your Jenny Burson. I'm a fitness and lifestyle coach. 108 00:09:09.600 --> 00:09:16.480 So I help women over forty mainly to look, feel and be awesome in 109 00:09:16.559 --> 00:09:24.799 their fifties and beyond. And I my show on aar rail is family matters. 110 00:09:24.840 --> 00:09:28.399 It goes out on Sunday morning, eight a m. So go to 111 00:09:28.440 --> 00:09:33.679 bed early tonight you can get away and listen to it. And basically what 112 00:09:33.759 --> 00:09:41.639 I what I love to do is hear people's stories and a strong believer that 113 00:09:43.360 --> 00:09:50.240 there's somebody's stories, somebody's experience, somebody's testimony is going to just resonate with 114 00:09:50.360 --> 00:09:56.519 somebody could inspire them, motivate them, and you know, I just want 115 00:09:56.519 --> 00:10:03.440 to hear those stories. And also do a little show called Meet the Kids, 116 00:10:03.960 --> 00:10:09.399 and we just have like local kids from my church and give them little 117 00:10:09.399 --> 00:10:15.039 topics and then they discuss it. And it's really good to hear their view 118 00:10:15.480 --> 00:10:22.000 on these things. Hilarious at times where I questioned their parents, like you 119 00:10:22.080 --> 00:10:26.840 need to talk to your job, but yeah, no, so that's that's 120 00:10:26.919 --> 00:10:31.440 always fun. And also meet the family where I have a family in and 121 00:10:31.559 --> 00:10:35.840 just talk about their experience, what they do. And again I think that 122 00:10:37.000 --> 00:10:39.840 just helps other families to get a little oh we might try that, or 123 00:10:41.799 --> 00:10:48.440 just a little insight into how other families are. Oh gosh, sounds good. 124 00:10:48.480 --> 00:10:56.480 Sounds good. At those programs something you do separate to RL or no 125 00:10:56.559 --> 00:11:01.879 they no, they are they are part of the Family Matters shows. Yeah, 126 00:11:01.919 --> 00:11:07.519 yeah, all right, you had it here first, that was your 127 00:11:07.559 --> 00:11:13.840 how was your week? Then? You know what it's it's it's been a 128 00:11:13.879 --> 00:11:18.120 little bit of a challenge. So I've just finished eight week three zumba, 129 00:11:20.799 --> 00:11:26.080 well eight sixteen sessions right twice a week, which was funded and I didn't 130 00:11:26.120 --> 00:11:30.320 get that funding, but somebody asked me to do it. And now I 131 00:11:30.399 --> 00:11:35.120 have to do a report, which I've never done before, and they told 132 00:11:35.120 --> 00:11:41.240 me that they want a video report as well. So I'm using that famous 133 00:11:43.159 --> 00:11:48.159 software that you can get online begin with C and ending in A and and 134 00:11:48.720 --> 00:11:52.799 I'm trying to learn I've got to get it. That's called my Bestie, 135 00:11:54.000 --> 00:12:01.200 Yes, my bestie too. It's life changing stuff. I had that with 136 00:12:01.679 --> 00:12:07.639 chat GBT and it's like amazing. Yeah. So so it's just been like, 137 00:12:07.720 --> 00:12:09.759 okay, how am I going to do this? So I've been working 138 00:12:09.799 --> 00:12:15.120 on that all week actually, and it's gonna be in on Monday. But 139 00:12:15.240 --> 00:12:18.600 I'm going to get it done. I'm gonna get it done. Oh I'm 140 00:12:18.600 --> 00:12:24.399 sure you're well, I'm sorry You're will How how you said how your week 141 00:12:24.440 --> 00:12:28.639 has been? Have you been able to catch any of the the cab meeting 142 00:12:30.240 --> 00:12:37.000 or well, honestly no, because you know I've had I've had meetings and 143 00:12:37.039 --> 00:12:41.759 all sorts. But I did this morning. Oh okay, cool, don't 144 00:12:41.759 --> 00:12:46.320 feel so bad. Then I had this have this morning though, I listened 145 00:12:46.320 --> 00:12:52.159 to the youth program and oh yeah, just like what Angela said, it 146 00:12:52.279 --> 00:12:56.679 was. It was amazing. It was It's just real. And so now 147 00:12:56.720 --> 00:13:00.879 I'm like, okay, I need to go back and watched them all. 148 00:13:01.519 --> 00:13:03.159 Yeah, yeah, I did act. But having said that, I did 149 00:13:03.200 --> 00:13:09.399 watch after that, I did go back and watch, but I don't know 150 00:13:09.519 --> 00:13:13.720 what they call it. Hopefully it's not senior program. But I watched the 151 00:13:13.720 --> 00:13:26.399 program at Hayeswood as well. Yeah. Yeah, has been Yes, I've 152 00:13:26.440 --> 00:13:35.519 probably gotten away there. It's been good, busy, really busy. My 153 00:13:35.519 --> 00:13:39.559 my manager was away and so I was sort of holding the fort on my 154 00:13:39.639 --> 00:13:45.279 own and usually or sometimes when she goes away, it's quiet and I just 155 00:13:45.320 --> 00:13:50.440 get to catch up with things that may need catching up with. But I 156 00:13:50.480 --> 00:13:54.960 don't know. As soon as she stepped out the door, it was like 157 00:13:54.120 --> 00:14:01.159 I had a colleague or a wall. I had resignations coming in I disciplinaries. 158 00:14:01.039 --> 00:14:09.639 I'm like, okay, I had a headache. At the end of 159 00:14:09.639 --> 00:14:13.399 the week, I thought, oh my goodness, And you know, maybe 160 00:14:13.440 --> 00:14:16.080 they were scared to do it before. They just waited for you. There 161 00:14:16.120 --> 00:14:20.559 you go. I've told her already. I'm not sure who approves these holidays, 162 00:14:20.600 --> 00:14:26.679 but they'll have to check with me first. But you know what, 163 00:14:26.080 --> 00:14:30.159 when you look back once the d's to settle that, I think I ought 164 00:14:30.200 --> 00:14:33.759 to appreciate this time because it really just helps me to learn and to develop 165 00:14:33.799 --> 00:14:37.080 and to position myself for the next step in my career. But going through 166 00:14:37.080 --> 00:14:39.799 it, oh, I tell you, it's just really really busy. But 167 00:14:41.200 --> 00:14:46.960 you know what, thank God for the Sabbath. In his infinite wisdom, 168 00:14:46.000 --> 00:14:52.159 he set aside a day and I'm just truly blessed to have a moment to 169 00:14:52.200 --> 00:14:58.200 rest and reflect and of course to have talking point, which is often the 170 00:14:58.279 --> 00:15:03.759 highlight of my sabbath. So yeah, all my week. So yeah, 171 00:15:03.799 --> 00:15:07.639 absolutely good. Right, why don't we take a break and then we'll come 172 00:15:07.720 --> 00:15:13.960 right back to the discussion. As I said, it's a lieu of it 173 00:15:13.080 --> 00:15:18.919 being International Friendship Day tomorrow, and so we'll talk a little bit about that, 174 00:15:20.240 --> 00:15:24.399 and then we'll talk about our friendships and hopefully we'll hear from some of 175 00:15:24.399 --> 00:15:45.200 our listeners as well. What's going on, my boy? It's been about 176 00:15:45.559 --> 00:15:54.200 since the last time we called a walking which your head held down, wait 177 00:15:54.320 --> 00:16:03.480 alive, got to shoulders hang into the ground. But that's so okay because 178 00:16:03.519 --> 00:16:11.440 the life can hurt sometimes God gave you someone to help you fight. I 179 00:16:11.639 --> 00:16:18.399 got you back, and that's a fact. Whatever you need, I'll be 180 00:16:18.600 --> 00:16:34.080 there. I just remember that got a friendly Oh you got a friendly life 181 00:16:34.240 --> 00:16:41.720 training get you down? Turn the frown on you. That a friending? 182 00:16:45.000 --> 00:16:52.159 We heard that you were going through. But don't you crack a casewe's been 183 00:16:52.279 --> 00:16:59.240 there and you and baby girl that you now that you shot so bright that 184 00:16:59.639 --> 00:17:07.200 the fad show the world your life. Don't let's try to drive you up 185 00:17:07.359 --> 00:17:15.640 your smile when your friends and will be fighting right by your soul. Just 186 00:17:15.920 --> 00:17:25.000 come on eight three three years two and I'll come and happy right therefore you 187 00:17:25.880 --> 00:17:34.839 come. You got a friend in me, You've got a friend in me. 188 00:17:37.599 --> 00:17:44.960 Life can get you down? Turn a friend or else. You got 189 00:17:44.960 --> 00:17:55.640 a friend in me. You got a friend in me. You got a 190 00:17:55.880 --> 00:18:06.279 friend in me. Oh, I can't get you down turn cause you got 191 00:18:06.319 --> 00:18:14.240 a friending me. Uh, I give me the one you seeking your time 192 00:18:14.359 --> 00:18:18.759 on me. Trust none, no pretending, no friends, empty promises, 193 00:18:18.799 --> 00:18:22.799 and no clear shags. But I'm here for you day by day. If 194 00:18:22.799 --> 00:18:27.000 the situation changed, I would not staying. Run into the wheels, follow 195 00:18:27.400 --> 00:18:37.240 no matter what it costs. Understand that world got me. Oh boy, 196 00:18:37.400 --> 00:18:45.680 you got a friend. Of men can get you down. Turn the true 197 00:18:48.000 --> 00:19:06.599 you got a friend, You got friend you las can get you down. 198 00:19:06.920 --> 00:19:21.079 Turn the sun you a friend, Me you got friend, You got a 199 00:19:21.279 --> 00:19:33.200 friend Me love little place can get you out. Turn you feel like those 200 00:19:33.359 --> 00:19:55.839 everybody's you don't have to worry. I'll always feel like life gets harden to 201 00:19:56.000 --> 00:20:15.839 you, get count on, always be around just life. You feel good. 202 00:20:17.000 --> 00:20:27.240 Everybody could be headlined. Listen, listen life You gets you down sometimes 203 00:20:27.279 --> 00:20:33.079 and it give me real hard, but not that You've got somebody on your 204 00:20:33.079 --> 00:20:37.799 side. There's praying for you, and who loves you, don't matter what. 205 00:20:38.119 --> 00:20:56.200 That's called a friend. You got a friend, didn't mean. One 206 00:20:56.279 --> 00:21:03.160 of my favorite groups the wall screen, reminding us that we have a friend 207 00:21:03.279 --> 00:21:08.039 in garden. We are each other's keeper as well, So quite happy. 208 00:21:08.079 --> 00:21:14.000 And you'll find that a lot of the songs are themed today around friendship. 209 00:21:14.720 --> 00:21:19.680 So, Angie, we are talking about International Friendship Day, and let us 210 00:21:21.839 --> 00:21:27.319 sort of unpack that a bit. Where did that stem from? Wells that 211 00:21:27.359 --> 00:21:36.720 I've done. It was designated by the United Nations General Assembly. They figured 212 00:21:36.720 --> 00:21:42.559 it was wanted to encourage peace, happiness and unity. And you know, 213 00:21:42.680 --> 00:21:47.400 when you think about friends, friends who are like family, we've got friends 214 00:21:47.519 --> 00:21:51.400 even maybe you can make consider frenemies because at some point there's been a relationship 215 00:21:51.759 --> 00:21:56.799 at some point, it's something that you can, you know, celebrate on 216 00:21:56.880 --> 00:22:00.160 this date. You know, when you think about the world that we live 217 00:22:00.200 --> 00:22:07.000 in and how things are going across the board, it's really an opportunity to 218 00:22:08.279 --> 00:22:11.880 in spite of all those things, to remember those people who make a difference 219 00:22:11.920 --> 00:22:17.359 to you, who are closer to you. And you know, umbrella term 220 00:22:17.519 --> 00:22:22.640 friends I'm sure could encompass a whole heap of people. You know, Friendship 221 00:22:22.720 --> 00:22:26.240 connections it's about how you what you share with each other, the bonds that 222 00:22:26.279 --> 00:22:30.279 you have with each other, the characteristics, the things that you share, 223 00:22:30.519 --> 00:22:36.319 the time that you spend with people. There's an opportunity to celebrate those people, 224 00:22:37.039 --> 00:22:38.759 you know, say thank you, but also think about, you know, 225 00:22:40.200 --> 00:22:42.920 even the despite our differences, how we come together. It's all about 226 00:22:44.000 --> 00:22:48.960 understanding diversity, inclusion and how we can be inclusive. You know, friendships 227 00:22:48.960 --> 00:22:52.799 can span across the globe, across the world, and it's a different levels. 228 00:22:53.319 --> 00:22:56.880 And you know, any opportunities to celebrate people who make a little difference 229 00:22:56.920 --> 00:23:03.160 for you can only be a good thing. So around the world it's celebrated 230 00:23:03.559 --> 00:23:07.519 essentially someone around you lie. Some countries, I think I read India was 231 00:23:07.559 --> 00:23:15.480 August first, you know, and it's kind of you know, the opportunities 232 00:23:15.519 --> 00:23:21.079 for people to get together, put on activities and events. Often presence may 233 00:23:21.079 --> 00:23:26.519 be given. I'm sure the card industries. I think Hallmark was kind of 234 00:23:26.519 --> 00:23:30.960 one of those first card companies to introduce the idea of it as well. 235 00:23:32.440 --> 00:23:37.680 And you know, sometimes I mean it's in this technical, this technology technological 236 00:23:37.759 --> 00:23:41.839 age sometimes sending letters and cards and notes as a bit of an old art 237 00:23:41.920 --> 00:23:45.119 form, you know, and but I think it's just something really nice about 238 00:23:45.240 --> 00:23:48.599 sending a car so you know, this is a day where we can do 239 00:23:48.680 --> 00:23:52.240 all that sort of thing. So yeah, it's the idea of celebration, 240 00:23:53.680 --> 00:23:59.880 making connections, saying thank you, And it was really first introduced in around 241 00:24:00.039 --> 00:24:04.640 twenty eleven, so that's sort of an age old what would you call it? 242 00:24:04.680 --> 00:24:08.759 Remember a day of you know, a day but it's been around for 243 00:24:08.759 --> 00:24:12.960 a little while, it has, But I honestly, until you mentioned it 244 00:24:12.960 --> 00:24:17.440 a few weeks ago, i'd never heard of international NA say. It's probably 245 00:24:17.440 --> 00:24:19.279 one of those ones that probably we don't hear about me when we think about 246 00:24:19.319 --> 00:24:22.960 it. Sometimes we're looking for some ideas for the shows. There is a 247 00:24:22.039 --> 00:24:29.480 day for absolutely everything we've seen grew in your dark day. Well yeah, 248 00:24:29.640 --> 00:24:33.599 totally, but you know something like this, there are you know, somebody's 249 00:24:33.640 --> 00:24:37.480 decided actually it's gonna be really good idea to celebrate something, you know, 250 00:24:37.640 --> 00:24:42.319 and celebrate the important things, and friendship being one of those. So absolutely, 251 00:24:42.519 --> 00:24:45.599 yeah, so'd you like the thirtieth for as in the UK maybe in 252 00:24:45.640 --> 00:24:49.400 the States. And you know, also I was going to say, this 253 00:24:49.519 --> 00:24:52.279 is also a time and maybe you might cover some of this as much as 254 00:24:52.359 --> 00:24:57.240 I mentioned frenemies, friendships sometimes come and go, and but this could also 255 00:24:57.279 --> 00:25:03.240 be an opportunity to maybe try and reconcile, maybe try and build back those 256 00:25:03.240 --> 00:25:07.319 bridges that might have been broken. You know, friends can split for whatever 257 00:25:07.400 --> 00:25:12.680 reason, but if you maybe look back, this could be an opportunity to 258 00:25:12.720 --> 00:25:15.640 say, hey, you know what, we had a good friendship once, 259 00:25:15.759 --> 00:25:21.160 let's bury that, let's maybe start again, start a fresh So there's so 260 00:25:21.240 --> 00:25:29.240 many things that this day could represent actually utilized. Yeah. Absolutely. The 261 00:25:29.240 --> 00:25:33.839 theme for this year is is that sharing the human spirit through friendship. So 262 00:25:34.799 --> 00:25:40.480 I think that that really says it all. It's about being each other's keeper, 263 00:25:40.680 --> 00:25:47.000 each other's friend and confidante and so forth, and just making sure that 264 00:25:47.039 --> 00:25:51.440 we make the world a brighter place. Yeah, and there's some interesting stats 265 00:25:51.480 --> 00:25:56.160 around it as well, actually, which I thought was quite interesting. Apparently, 266 00:25:56.720 --> 00:25:59.400 again I'm not sort of quoting any particular research, stude, is there 267 00:25:59.440 --> 00:26:03.319 anything but twenty two percent of people if they have a twenty two percentage of 268 00:26:03.319 --> 00:26:08.640 people who live longer live longer if they have a close friendship network. There's 269 00:26:08.680 --> 00:26:14.279 something to be said about your friendship, the connections, your support, the 270 00:26:14.319 --> 00:26:19.200 network that you have. On average, most adults will have two best friends. 271 00:26:19.960 --> 00:26:22.880 Again, I'm not sure that that's over their whole lifetime or whatever. 272 00:26:25.319 --> 00:26:30.440 Many of you may know be familiar with the TV show Friends that first aired 273 00:26:30.519 --> 00:26:33.400 in nineteen ninety four. That might show some of our ages because it feels 274 00:26:33.400 --> 00:26:38.720 like it's been around forever and to show you. But again that was a 275 00:26:38.799 --> 00:26:42.039 hit TV show about a group of friends and the things that they went through 276 00:26:42.039 --> 00:26:48.400 and shared. Twenty six percent of people who come into conflict with their friends 277 00:26:48.480 --> 00:26:53.440 over something have posted about it online, which I thought was really interesting. 278 00:26:56.200 --> 00:27:00.920 Yeah, because you know, sometimes again you know, the rise of social 279 00:27:00.960 --> 00:27:03.440 media and everything else, is the fact that we can just put our stuff 280 00:27:03.480 --> 00:27:07.559 out there for the whole work to see is quite worrying. Certain not encouraging 281 00:27:07.680 --> 00:27:11.960 people to do that. Sometimes it's better to kind of try and resolve it 282 00:27:11.000 --> 00:27:15.119 with whatever, but put it out there and maybe not even resolve it. 283 00:27:15.240 --> 00:27:19.319 Something quite wrong with that as well, make it worse well totally And you 284 00:27:19.359 --> 00:27:26.880 know, Yeah, and they're saying fifty seven percent of teens make a close 285 00:27:26.880 --> 00:27:30.319 friend online, which I thought was quite interesting as well. Again, there's 286 00:27:30.319 --> 00:27:34.319 something maybe slightly scary about that as well, because I have to wonder whether 287 00:27:34.359 --> 00:27:37.839 people are we're going to talk about what friendship is. We have to wonder 288 00:27:38.000 --> 00:27:42.160 what kind of friendships these are, what they mean, what they look like. 289 00:27:44.359 --> 00:27:48.319 There's something to be said about eight age have friendships relate those ages, 290 00:27:48.640 --> 00:27:55.319 So I think that's quite interesting one as well. And something about us talk 291 00:27:55.359 --> 00:28:00.319 about ages at nine months is the sort of average age and which babies start 292 00:28:00.359 --> 00:28:08.279 to recognize friendships. It's interesting. Now again I'm not quoted the research where 293 00:28:08.279 --> 00:28:11.000 it's all coming from, but this is just something that was reading. So 294 00:28:11.559 --> 00:28:17.240 there's some interesting stats around friendship. But one thing that kind of struck me 295 00:28:17.400 --> 00:28:22.799 is the impact that friendship can have how we make friends and the different types 296 00:28:22.839 --> 00:28:26.480 of friends we may have, which we're going to discuss today. So a 297 00:28:26.519 --> 00:28:30.599 little bit about friendships. I was just thinking a lot of what you the 298 00:28:30.640 --> 00:28:33.960 statistics that you gave sort of fed into some of the questions and discussions that 299 00:28:34.000 --> 00:28:40.319 would like to have, in particular the one about friendships. And in a 300 00:28:40.319 --> 00:28:45.519 wider sense of relationships. Healthy relationships are linked to longer life, happier life, 301 00:28:45.559 --> 00:28:51.799 and I mean that's an age all saying, but oftentimes we don't or 302 00:28:51.839 --> 00:28:56.960 there are things that disconnect us or you know, we're not living harmoniously and 303 00:28:56.000 --> 00:28:59.680 that kind of thing, and it would be good to understand what those things 304 00:28:59.759 --> 00:29:03.839 might be and how we can resolve them. And then you mentioned as well 305 00:29:03.880 --> 00:29:07.599 that to day is a day to perhaps rekindle all friendships, but we then 306 00:29:07.680 --> 00:29:12.319 have to be conscious and prayerful because there might be a reason why. And 307 00:29:12.559 --> 00:29:17.839 you know, there's also a message in letting go. And also there is 308 00:29:18.319 --> 00:29:26.079 perhaps a time today whenever tomorrow to reflect because some of us or most of 309 00:29:26.160 --> 00:29:30.359 us would have lost friends along the way in terms of friends passing, So 310 00:29:30.680 --> 00:29:37.920 again it's an opportunity to reflect, to remember the good times and reach out. 311 00:29:38.480 --> 00:29:41.279 As you've said as well, Jenny, you've been very quiet. So 312 00:29:41.279 --> 00:29:48.480 I'm going to pull you into the conversation. Okay, ready or not? 313 00:29:49.839 --> 00:29:56.000 What does friendship mean to you? What? What? What's your definition of 314 00:29:56.039 --> 00:30:03.200 a good friend or of the relationship. So I think it's for me, 315 00:30:03.559 --> 00:30:11.920 it's somebody that I can chat to. But also we've got to have a 316 00:30:12.000 --> 00:30:18.480 laugh, right, don't have a laugh? Yeah, then it's kind of 317 00:30:18.960 --> 00:30:26.519 it's not right then? And also you know, share with somebody that make 318 00:30:27.000 --> 00:30:33.519 that we can make experiences with, so then you can look back and laugh 319 00:30:33.559 --> 00:30:38.799 about right I don't. I mean I've got I've got friends who i've not 320 00:30:40.000 --> 00:30:44.960 since ever, you know, since we're children, right. But also I 321 00:30:45.000 --> 00:30:52.119 have some new friends as well. So it's it's interesting that how close you 322 00:30:52.160 --> 00:30:59.000 can make a bond with someone, and and I think that's important you have 323 00:30:59.079 --> 00:31:03.599 to kind of get on this no point having friends that you can only cope 324 00:31:03.599 --> 00:31:07.759 with like twenty minutes of them, and then it's like I can't take anymore. 325 00:31:08.559 --> 00:31:12.480 Right, But I do think that you have friends on different levels. 326 00:31:14.359 --> 00:31:18.279 Yeah, so you have the friend that you will tell maybe tell almost everything 327 00:31:18.319 --> 00:31:23.480 too, and also listen to what they're saying as well. You also have 328 00:31:23.640 --> 00:31:29.759 friends who maybe like acquaintances, but when you actually do you know, see 329 00:31:29.799 --> 00:31:33.480 them get together, then it's like everything is cool. You get on really 330 00:31:33.519 --> 00:31:40.079 really well. But I remember one time I had a friend who while we 331 00:31:40.079 --> 00:31:44.000 were working together, we were like, you know, doing everything together, 332 00:31:44.279 --> 00:31:48.720 and then she left and didn't contact each other as much. But then she 333 00:31:48.880 --> 00:31:52.839 wasn't happy with me because she was like, well, I've got this other 334 00:31:52.880 --> 00:31:56.359 friend and she calls me all the time or and but for me, I'm 335 00:31:56.440 --> 00:32:01.599 like, I don't think that you necessarily want you've built your relationship that you 336 00:32:01.720 --> 00:32:07.680 necessarily have to be speaking to your friend every single day. So one of 337 00:32:07.720 --> 00:32:13.000 my best friends who have known for like says since I was a child, 338 00:32:13.279 --> 00:32:21.240 right, I could go weeks or even months and wants me help on the 339 00:32:21.279 --> 00:32:25.160 phone. It's like we spoke yesterday and yeah, and I think it's important 340 00:32:25.200 --> 00:32:30.279 to know because life does happen. But that doesn't mean that your friendship is 341 00:32:30.359 --> 00:32:35.680 failing, particularly if you've built it up already. So one of the things 342 00:32:37.279 --> 00:32:44.680 that does my head in is when is when you call a friend maybe I'm 343 00:32:44.720 --> 00:32:46.200 spoken to them for a while or whatever, and they're like, oh, 344 00:32:46.319 --> 00:32:52.119 high stranger. Get the guilt trip winds me up because it's like, hold 345 00:32:52.160 --> 00:32:55.039 on, if I'm a stranger, then that means you're a stranger too, 346 00:32:55.279 --> 00:32:59.599 right, So you can't be saying, oh, I haven't heard from you 347 00:32:59.640 --> 00:33:04.720 for a long time, but that means that you haven't contacted me either, 348 00:33:04.960 --> 00:33:08.759 And it works both ways. So whoever keep saying that, stop saying it. 349 00:33:08.759 --> 00:33:12.680 It's not you know, because you know that's saying when you point your 350 00:33:12.680 --> 00:33:15.119 finger and at the three pointing back at you. You can't say to somebody 351 00:33:15.200 --> 00:33:22.039 you haven't contacted me when you when you haven't contacted Yeah, can I throw 352 00:33:22.240 --> 00:33:27.440 Can I throw something into the mix here just to play? I wouldn't say 353 00:33:27.480 --> 00:33:32.680 Devil's advocate, But what if I am the one that's always calling Because you 354 00:33:32.759 --> 00:33:36.960 get that, you get that, Yeah, I called you last time, 355 00:33:37.000 --> 00:33:39.480 I called you the time before I called you the time before that, so 356 00:33:39.599 --> 00:33:44.480 I've been waiting. I've been waiting for you to call me. How do 357 00:33:44.559 --> 00:33:47.359 we respond? So that's a different that's a different situation, and we're talking 358 00:33:47.400 --> 00:33:52.119 about when when nobody's called each other. Okay. Yeah, So if you 359 00:33:52.200 --> 00:33:55.440 do have or in a situation where you're like, hold on a minute, 360 00:33:57.279 --> 00:33:59.880 they don't ever call me back. I'm always the one calling, right, 361 00:34:00.160 --> 00:34:05.240 then I think you need to just have a little think about that relationship and 362 00:34:05.240 --> 00:34:08.320 whether it's something that you want to continue. It could be that they've got 363 00:34:08.360 --> 00:34:15.119 all stuff going on. But yeah, I don't think friendship do I Nah, 364 00:34:15.360 --> 00:34:17.760 I don't think friendship is a one way thing. I don't think you 365 00:34:17.760 --> 00:34:22.679 should be one way thing. It's interesting for saying about, you know, 366 00:34:22.679 --> 00:34:24.239 the different types of friends as you were saying, or a different types of 367 00:34:24.519 --> 00:34:30.639 I was reading some interesting descriptions descriptors. There was one where it's like you 368 00:34:30.679 --> 00:34:34.639 can categorize friends the type of friendships. There was like three minute friends, 369 00:34:35.079 --> 00:34:38.400 three hour friends, or three day friends. So the idea was really sometimes 370 00:34:38.440 --> 00:34:42.800 your three minute friends could be just wanted to kind of know your acquaintances, 371 00:34:42.920 --> 00:34:45.559 you know them, they're around, or they could be work colleagues or so 372 00:34:45.639 --> 00:34:50.719 people who might contribute to just kind of maybe everyday things, but on quite 373 00:34:50.719 --> 00:34:53.320 a surface level. The three hour friends might be a little bit deeper, 374 00:34:53.519 --> 00:34:55.800 so you might possibly go out with them, do a little bit more. 375 00:34:57.079 --> 00:35:00.280 And then those sort of three day friends other kind of probably there one to 376 00:35:00.400 --> 00:35:05.920 a bit closer deeper you actually spend more time with them. And similarly was 377 00:35:05.960 --> 00:35:10.039 another description from as the three cs the constituent, the comrade, and the 378 00:35:10.079 --> 00:35:15.119 confident, and again they kind of play different roles within your life, which 379 00:35:15.119 --> 00:35:17.000 I thought was quite interesting. And I guess, as you were saying, 380 00:35:17.519 --> 00:35:22.719 it's it's not a one way street, it's two way. But I think 381 00:35:22.800 --> 00:35:25.000 different people are going to have different impacts on your life, and the relationship 382 00:35:25.000 --> 00:35:30.840 you build with them can vary in different ways. And I suppose in some 383 00:35:30.880 --> 00:35:34.079 ways that's okay if you've got that kind of future of the relationship. However 384 00:35:34.199 --> 00:35:38.239 you've established that, I think that's how you can possibly define your friendships or 385 00:35:38.320 --> 00:35:44.519 recognize them for what they are. Sometimes, you know, I know for 386 00:35:44.599 --> 00:35:50.559 myself sometimes if if if the idea of friendship was somebody talking to everybody every 387 00:35:50.639 --> 00:35:53.400 day or what have you, I'm not a very good friend because I'm terrible 388 00:35:53.480 --> 00:36:02.199 for that. Sure, some people know I'd like to think that my friendship 389 00:36:02.199 --> 00:36:06.559 does run deep for some people, but they recognize that's what I can be 390 00:36:06.639 --> 00:36:08.679 like. And then the counties and they can understand that. I know that's 391 00:36:08.719 --> 00:36:13.400 something that I can do better, and I do try, I really do. 392 00:36:14.559 --> 00:36:17.320 But again, you know the levels because I know I could get on 393 00:36:17.360 --> 00:36:22.079 the phone to somebody and it's like we've been speaking two weeks ago and I 394 00:36:22.119 --> 00:36:24.679 could have not spend Yeah, I would say so the type of friendships you 395 00:36:24.800 --> 00:36:29.280 have, if you build them over the years, you see what they're like. 396 00:36:29.639 --> 00:36:32.400 But there will be different levels, and I think sometimes that's okay. 397 00:36:32.599 --> 00:36:37.760 Yeah they are, I agree. I mean it's interesting that you said about 398 00:36:37.880 --> 00:36:42.239 talking to somebody every day. I did meet somebody online, right, because 399 00:36:42.360 --> 00:36:45.599 online friendship is a is a is a whole different topic as well, right, 400 00:36:45.880 --> 00:36:50.519 which I think is real as well. I think they're important friends, 401 00:36:50.719 --> 00:36:59.239 right, And we were just sending what's up voice notes every day? Right, 402 00:36:59.480 --> 00:37:02.519 That was our conversation. And I got to a point where I'm like, 403 00:37:02.639 --> 00:37:07.360 I can't do this anymore because it's taken up too much of my time. 404 00:37:07.960 --> 00:37:12.039 So but I had other stuff I was doing. So I actually said, 405 00:37:13.559 --> 00:37:15.280 okay, look, not that I need a break, right, but 406 00:37:15.400 --> 00:37:21.920 just that I may not get back to you as quickly as I was because 407 00:37:22.079 --> 00:37:23.480 I've got some of the stuff I need to right, but I'm here, 408 00:37:24.079 --> 00:37:30.159 but I'm not here every day for you, right. And it just went 409 00:37:30.280 --> 00:37:38.159 south. She was not impressed at all. And and yeah, it was 410 00:37:38.239 --> 00:37:40.639 just quite like, oh, well, you know what's happened. Wait, 411 00:37:40.760 --> 00:37:44.559 wait, I haven't heard from you and you know that kind of stuff. 412 00:37:44.599 --> 00:37:49.679 And I was thinking, okay, I told you, so it's like I 413 00:37:49.719 --> 00:37:53.679 can't. I don't think I could maintain that either. Depending on if they 414 00:37:53.679 --> 00:37:57.880 were going through something, then yeah, I'm here for them, call me 415 00:37:57.920 --> 00:38:00.280 whenever. But if it's just like hit chick, get to know all of 416 00:38:00.280 --> 00:38:02.440 that kind of stuff, it doesn't. I don't think it needs to be 417 00:38:02.519 --> 00:38:08.360 in every day thing. Yeah, I as if you're older, that's more 418 00:38:08.440 --> 00:38:12.159 the case, because I kind of thinksel when I was. I think when 419 00:38:12.199 --> 00:38:15.079 I was younger, I probably was a lot more like that personally, maybe 420 00:38:15.360 --> 00:38:20.440 on my phone and just chatting generally. But now as I've got older, 421 00:38:21.079 --> 00:38:23.480 But it's not responsibilities, isn't it. You As you get older, there 422 00:38:23.519 --> 00:38:29.320 are other things drawing you away. And you've got either children or partner or 423 00:38:29.480 --> 00:38:31.480 husband, or you know, parents that you have to care for. So 424 00:38:31.559 --> 00:38:36.199 as you, I think as you get older, there are other things drawing 425 00:38:36.599 --> 00:38:39.800 or vying for your time. So it's to sit for half an hour on 426 00:38:39.840 --> 00:38:44.039 the phone like I did when I was sixteen, it's just not going to 427 00:38:44.079 --> 00:38:46.119 happen or an hour to everyone. It may happen to those you know, 428 00:38:46.159 --> 00:38:51.000 those three day once as you said, or those confidence as you've as you've 429 00:38:51.039 --> 00:38:55.599 described, Auntie, But if I've got fifty two friends or a hundred and 430 00:38:55.639 --> 00:39:01.760 something contacts, I can't be expected to be there for everyone at the same 431 00:39:02.840 --> 00:39:07.760 you know, on the same level. And I think, what for me? 432 00:39:07.960 --> 00:39:15.920 It's one kind of reciprocating. So the people I'm there for on an 433 00:39:15.960 --> 00:39:19.199 intimate level are the people who are there for me on an intimate level. 434 00:39:19.280 --> 00:39:22.679 That's one of the ways that I decide who gets my time. If I 435 00:39:22.719 --> 00:39:24.360 can call you at three o'clock in the morning, chances are you can get 436 00:39:24.360 --> 00:39:28.639 me at three o'clock in the morning. That's the kind of relationship we have. 437 00:39:30.199 --> 00:39:34.679 Another thing that helps me decide is whether the person is needy or not. 438 00:39:34.920 --> 00:39:38.199 I've got one or two needy friends, But I think one or two 439 00:39:38.280 --> 00:39:44.519 is enough. I don't think I could maintain. I'll, you know, 440 00:39:45.480 --> 00:39:50.239 camp of needy friends, one or two, I think I can manage. 441 00:39:50.280 --> 00:39:52.800 I know that they like a text every day or every other day. So 442 00:39:52.840 --> 00:39:55.840 it may just be a foreword, it may just be high I'm thinking of 443 00:39:55.960 --> 00:40:00.599 you, and I'll move on. But again, that depends on the time 444 00:40:00.599 --> 00:40:06.000 and season. That depends on you know, how I value that friendship. 445 00:40:06.119 --> 00:40:12.400 Is it worth you know, going through that added extra effort for so you 446 00:40:12.400 --> 00:40:15.639 know, all that kind of stuff decides whether that person would get that time 447 00:40:15.800 --> 00:40:22.239 or not. But surely people must understand it comes down to understanding. You've 448 00:40:22.239 --> 00:40:24.320 got to understand that I've got things going on. I've got to be a 449 00:40:24.440 --> 00:40:29.800 career whatever. Mother and you may be at a different stage, but you 450 00:40:29.840 --> 00:40:34.320 surely must understand the stage and that and that comes with having a friendship and 451 00:40:34.400 --> 00:40:37.239 having that connection that you know where I'm at and I know where you are 452 00:40:37.280 --> 00:40:42.239 and we meet in the middle. Yeah, I think it's important. I 453 00:40:42.239 --> 00:40:45.400 mean, well, and Ajulie said that, you know, when you're younger, 454 00:40:45.480 --> 00:40:47.079 you're on the phone all the time. When I was younger, we 455 00:40:47.119 --> 00:41:06.559 didn't have mobile things. But but but I think it's about you initially when 456 00:41:06.559 --> 00:41:08.400 you meet somebody, I think you have to nurture it. You have to 457 00:41:08.480 --> 00:41:13.400 nurture that friendship and that make just like in a relationship right where you fall 458 00:41:13.400 --> 00:41:16.599 asleep on the phone, all that kind of stuff and you build that foundation. 459 00:41:17.360 --> 00:41:22.199 But I think once that foundation is built, you don't need to put 460 00:41:22.239 --> 00:41:29.840 all that energy into it because it's it's sorted, it's you've got the groundwork 461 00:41:30.079 --> 00:41:34.320 is done, and then you can just live life with a new friend. 462 00:41:34.880 --> 00:41:38.599 And and also it comes down to understanding, and we individually, just as 463 00:41:38.679 --> 00:41:44.239 humans, we need to consider are we putting too much pressure on our friends? 464 00:41:44.599 --> 00:41:47.440 Because what you're saying was that, well, you have to send them 465 00:41:47.440 --> 00:41:54.519 a text just to keep them happy. But then it's like you're doing that 466 00:41:54.679 --> 00:42:00.599 to keep them happy, but then is it really what you want? Don't 467 00:42:00.639 --> 00:42:05.440 do? So then it's like I'd be questioning, would I really do I 468 00:42:05.480 --> 00:42:07.199 really want to do this because it's not really helping me. I'm doing this 469 00:42:07.239 --> 00:42:13.840 for them, and yeah, I'm not sure. I'm not sure about that. 470 00:42:14.199 --> 00:42:15.880 Yeah, do you think with something like that, then do you think? 471 00:42:15.920 --> 00:42:16.840 I mean, because as you just saying that, I'm thinking to myself 472 00:42:17.079 --> 00:42:21.679 when we're making friends, and I kind of as I got older, I 473 00:42:21.760 --> 00:42:23.800 probably make less friends. You meet new people, but your videos, the 474 00:42:23.840 --> 00:42:28.000 whole idea is stuffing a friendship? Well, those are kinds of conversations. 475 00:42:28.000 --> 00:42:31.440 Then, do you think could be useful to kind of really almost Not that 476 00:42:31.519 --> 00:42:36.599 I want to be prescriptive about how our friendship or relationship should be, but 477 00:42:36.639 --> 00:42:39.719 in some ways really actually talk about what you want your friendship would be, 478 00:42:39.840 --> 00:42:44.199 and be upfront and honest and about who you are, what you'd like to 479 00:42:44.239 --> 00:42:47.440 see, what your capacity is. You know, I think I should be 480 00:42:47.440 --> 00:42:51.480 able to say to somebody, actually, yet you know we are, We've 481 00:42:51.480 --> 00:42:52.840 made a connection. I really like you, I really get on with you. 482 00:42:53.079 --> 00:42:57.239 You're great to hang out with you. But the reality is I can 483 00:42:57.320 --> 00:43:00.199 only maybe cool you once a week or be good to hang out with you 484 00:43:00.239 --> 00:43:04.079 once a month. As much as I'm saying that, I don't think i'd 485 00:43:04.079 --> 00:43:07.639 want to put it quite like that, but somewhere along our conversation in terms 486 00:43:07.679 --> 00:43:13.639 of would you pick this up, would you have that conversation, would you 487 00:43:13.719 --> 00:43:15.920 say it? But I'd like to be able to think that that would be 488 00:43:15.000 --> 00:43:20.679 part of the understanding and the empathetic nature of the friendship that you could come 489 00:43:20.719 --> 00:43:24.039 to that kind of understanding agreements or something. I don't know that be realistic. 490 00:43:24.199 --> 00:43:28.559 Don't they just fall away? Don't? Don't the ones that you can't 491 00:43:28.679 --> 00:43:32.760 keep up with or you can't respond the way they like, or keep up 492 00:43:32.840 --> 00:43:37.760 there where they want or do as they'd like, Don't they just fall away 493 00:43:37.800 --> 00:43:44.880 with time because you just you don't have that, you don't have the energy 494 00:43:44.960 --> 00:43:50.039 to maintain the friendship, and or sometimes you just golf them. But that's 495 00:43:50.079 --> 00:44:00.679 another conversation. Oh right day, forget the tub as saying it. That's 496 00:44:00.679 --> 00:44:04.440 not going to listen. But that's what happens. I think, as as 497 00:44:04.480 --> 00:44:07.360 as the friendship deal to talk about it, I think I think you can. 498 00:44:07.920 --> 00:44:16.519 I think you get to understand. Yeah, I suppose so. I 499 00:44:16.559 --> 00:44:21.679 think. I think for me, it is that the friendship develops ups or 500 00:44:21.760 --> 00:44:24.639 it fizzles based on what we want from each other, what we expect from 501 00:44:24.679 --> 00:44:28.480 each other, what we're able to give to each other. I think at 502 00:44:28.519 --> 00:44:31.920 my age, though, the differences is that I have no real expectations on 503 00:44:31.920 --> 00:44:37.800 on or no real need for I think when I was younger, I needed 504 00:44:37.880 --> 00:44:42.480 friends for me to be validated. I don't know if that's making sense for 505 00:44:42.599 --> 00:44:45.880 me to feel like someone I wanted to have several friends. I had to 506 00:44:45.920 --> 00:44:51.400 be popular, and I think that feeds in also to the social media friendzy 507 00:44:51.480 --> 00:44:53.880 that we've got with the likes and all that kind of stuff where young people 508 00:44:54.079 --> 00:44:59.679 they're not happy if the picture doesn't have fifty comments and all that kind of 509 00:44:59.679 --> 00:45:01.440 stuff. I think I've grown past that. It's okay for me to have 510 00:45:01.599 --> 00:45:06.679 one, it's okay for me to have two. It's not about the quantity. 511 00:45:06.679 --> 00:45:09.199 It's the quality, and I think that is what makes a difference and 512 00:45:09.320 --> 00:45:15.000 energy. You spoke to that earlier in terms of our your statistics, but 513 00:45:15.119 --> 00:45:23.360 it is having quality, long lasting, develop dependable friendships and relationships that gives 514 00:45:23.440 --> 00:45:28.599 value to your life, not not having several that you have to jump through 515 00:45:28.639 --> 00:45:31.719 hoops for. And my stage in my life, I can't jump to too 516 00:45:31.760 --> 00:45:36.400 many hoops to be a friend to someone. If if one hoop isn't enough 517 00:45:36.440 --> 00:45:40.719 for two, yeah, yeah, it's it's not gonna have I agree. 518 00:45:40.880 --> 00:45:44.719 I agree with you because at the end of the day, as you get 519 00:45:44.719 --> 00:45:47.159 older, it just sain't got the energy at the time, you know, 520 00:45:47.320 --> 00:45:52.679 It's like, I don't want to be in a situation where I have to 521 00:45:53.199 --> 00:45:59.159 I have to do something that just to I know, it sounds really bad 522 00:45:59.400 --> 00:46:01.599 to please somebody else. I mean, of course we should be doing stuff 523 00:46:01.639 --> 00:46:07.079 for others. Yeah, but in terms of this friendship, I have to, 524 00:46:07.239 --> 00:46:13.679 like you said, jump through hoops to make them happy. That's not 525 00:46:13.800 --> 00:46:17.360 real friendship because you're not You're not getting from it what you are putting into 526 00:46:17.400 --> 00:46:22.480 it. But can I can we talk a little bit about online friendship and 527 00:46:22.599 --> 00:46:29.559 we're talking about likes whatever, but just because one of the things about social 528 00:46:29.599 --> 00:46:35.679 media, in particular Facebook, right, because I was probably the first big 529 00:46:35.679 --> 00:46:37.400 one. I actually, you know, there was high five and my Space, 530 00:46:37.400 --> 00:46:45.840 but forget about those into them, right. But see, I see 531 00:46:45.840 --> 00:46:51.639 it as a way of connecting with people that I probably wouldn't connect with or 532 00:46:51.679 --> 00:46:53.920 be able to connect with if they weren't around. Now, don't get me 533 00:46:53.960 --> 00:47:00.679 wrong. There's people that I would say happy Birthday too once every year and 534 00:47:00.760 --> 00:47:04.599 that's it. How you doing? I mean I do that with Texas, 535 00:47:04.639 --> 00:47:05.840 right. How are you doing? Yeah? I'm good? How you? 536 00:47:06.039 --> 00:47:07.000 Yeah? We really should meet up this year? Yeah, I know we 537 00:47:07.000 --> 00:47:09.639 should. Yeah, but yeah, let's make it happen this year, and 538 00:47:09.719 --> 00:47:15.679 it still doesn't happen. But I would still consider them a friend even though 539 00:47:15.679 --> 00:47:21.800 it's a once a year friend because we did already build that relationship before. 540 00:47:22.519 --> 00:47:27.440 Right now, if we did meet up, I don't know how that would 541 00:47:27.440 --> 00:47:29.960 go. Probably be all right, but for some it may be like, 542 00:47:30.480 --> 00:47:35.119 Okay, this is awkward. Should have just stayed online friends, all right? 543 00:47:35.159 --> 00:47:37.800 Sorry, I just wanted to clarify this is someone that you've only spoken 544 00:47:37.840 --> 00:47:42.400 to online or you've met No, no, no, no, sorry. 545 00:47:42.480 --> 00:47:45.400 So I'm kind of mixing up the things now really, so maintaining a friendship 546 00:47:45.440 --> 00:47:51.599 as it were. Yeah, So I have friends that I would they would 547 00:47:51.599 --> 00:47:54.519 say to me happy Birthday. I would say to them happy Birthday and or 548 00:47:55.280 --> 00:48:02.239 Happy New Year, and that's pretty much. However, that's all an online 549 00:48:02.280 --> 00:48:07.239 thing. However, I've built up relationship. I've built that friendship with them 550 00:48:07.440 --> 00:48:12.960 sometime in the past, right and we do have this promise, oh we 551 00:48:13.000 --> 00:48:15.519 should meet up and all of this kind of stuff, but it doesn't always 552 00:48:15.519 --> 00:48:20.840 happen. Okay, it doesn't happen, but I think that that's okay. 553 00:48:20.920 --> 00:48:24.119 So we So even though they were close at one point, it's still maintaining 554 00:48:24.199 --> 00:48:31.519 that right, so that online and I think social media is really good to 555 00:48:31.559 --> 00:48:37.719 help you maintain friendships, particularly if you see if you don't see them every 556 00:48:37.800 --> 00:48:42.239 day or you know, every week or whatever, but at least then you 557 00:48:42.239 --> 00:48:46.719 can either comment on there or you can say something that you know it will 558 00:48:46.800 --> 00:48:52.079 just or even DM them. But at least you're kind of maintaining it. 559 00:48:52.119 --> 00:48:55.880 And it's an easier way of maintaining them and keeping those people in your life. 560 00:48:57.639 --> 00:49:00.360 And you can see where they're going, they can see what you're doing, 561 00:49:00.760 --> 00:49:02.599 and I think that's really important. And I don't think that we should 562 00:49:02.639 --> 00:49:07.920 like just sort of like say, yeah, that's that's not real friendship. 563 00:49:08.519 --> 00:49:14.199 Okay, So I don't agree because I think at the end of the day, 564 00:49:14.239 --> 00:49:16.000 we have to be realistic about where people are at, especially when you 565 00:49:16.039 --> 00:49:19.639 think, you know, when you realize how people's lives change. They may 566 00:49:19.639 --> 00:49:22.360 have moved across the country, across the world. You know, you still 567 00:49:22.360 --> 00:49:29.199 and often sometimes these platforms are prompted because you may scroll through you see something 568 00:49:29.239 --> 00:49:30.519 you think, oh, actually, yeah, I haven't spent it in a 569 00:49:30.519 --> 00:49:35.000 while. It prompts you to do something. You make a connection, and 570 00:49:35.039 --> 00:49:39.079 it is about maintaining connections and maintaining those bonds, and at least you know 571 00:49:39.159 --> 00:49:43.440 you have an opportunity to do that, which kind of makes it easy. 572 00:49:43.599 --> 00:49:45.880 It can make it easy easier in some respects, especially if you know, 573 00:49:46.239 --> 00:49:50.360 I can't get to visit them, I can't see them as often as I'd 574 00:49:50.400 --> 00:49:54.159 like to. So the connection and many relationships are maintained really healthily in that 575 00:49:54.199 --> 00:50:00.239 way as well, you know, So I think the idea of keeping making 576 00:50:00.320 --> 00:50:04.519 connections and keeping them it's always going to be important. And it's the nurturing 577 00:50:04.599 --> 00:50:08.519 part. Is that consistency that you that you will do so Yeah, definitely 578 00:50:08.519 --> 00:50:13.559 a key thing. But I kind of wonder, I mean again, it's 579 00:50:13.559 --> 00:50:19.400 maybe just with age and experience, whether the quality of friendships can be the 580 00:50:19.519 --> 00:50:22.800 same as if in person. And I say that going back to kind of 581 00:50:22.800 --> 00:50:28.920 when you think about a lot of these social media platforms where people are connecting 582 00:50:28.960 --> 00:50:32.840 with people, but it makes you wonder how deep those friendships are, especially 583 00:50:32.840 --> 00:50:37.719 when you know you can present what you like on some of these platforms, 584 00:50:37.559 --> 00:50:42.960 but you're only really showing possibly a set and side of yourself. You know, 585 00:50:43.079 --> 00:50:45.280 how real are those connections? Because I sometimes wonder and maybe there's an 586 00:50:45.320 --> 00:50:49.840 age thing that I sometimes see and you know, so there's that's about the 587 00:50:49.920 --> 00:50:52.719 presentage of young people who make their friends online. I wonder what they'd be 588 00:50:52.760 --> 00:50:57.119 like if they meet in person. I wonder whether they'd be as bold or 589 00:50:57.119 --> 00:51:01.519 as confident with their conversation for instance, or making those connections. I have 590 00:51:01.599 --> 00:51:06.480 to wonder, not saying not saying that you can't make deep connections or real 591 00:51:06.480 --> 00:51:15.159 connections, but the kind of idea of what's that show when MTV not Catfish 592 00:51:15.199 --> 00:51:22.400 Catfish where oh, yes, it is that where they gone find people who 593 00:51:22.480 --> 00:51:27.639 are presenting very differently. Yes, and sometimes they you know, they start 594 00:51:27.679 --> 00:51:31.760 relationships, but they've never bet the person and they've made these really deep connections 595 00:51:32.000 --> 00:51:37.039 and it turns out to be somebody completely different, because again, you can 596 00:51:37.079 --> 00:51:44.159 present people whatever, and sometimes people are presenting something completely different completely and you 597 00:51:44.199 --> 00:51:47.239 know, it's often having really devastating effects because you've just strung somebody along. 598 00:51:47.920 --> 00:51:53.239 So I don't know, there's pluses and minuses to it, but again, 599 00:51:53.800 --> 00:51:57.280 having someone of that, I guess it's really thinking about what the basis of 600 00:51:57.360 --> 00:52:00.039 friendship is. What is a friendship to us? What are the call a 601 00:52:00.119 --> 00:52:02.599 tease? One of the things that we want to put into a friendship's been 602 00:52:02.679 --> 00:52:08.599 to us and can we be discerning enough to find those things? You know. 603 00:52:08.880 --> 00:52:13.360 So it's a good point to anyone, and we're going to take a 604 00:52:13.440 --> 00:52:16.320 quick break and when we come back, we'll build on that and also sort 605 00:52:16.360 --> 00:52:23.480 of talk about the impact on social friendship of social media in terms of sharing 606 00:52:23.559 --> 00:52:29.280 things that maybe we shouldn't and that would lead nicely into conflict resolution because we've 607 00:52:29.320 --> 00:52:35.119 all had that friend or friends that we've fallen out with and that's a hot 608 00:52:35.159 --> 00:52:37.599 topic. I think we need to unpack as well. So we'll take a 609 00:52:37.639 --> 00:52:42.840 break. You, Jenny, you selected this one a very popular song Israel 610 00:52:42.920 --> 00:52:47.440 Houghton or Israel and New Breed and this one is a friend of God? 611 00:52:58.960 --> 00:53:08.360 Do you believe that? Right? Every tavern? Love? Oh? Yeah? 612 00:53:09.400 --> 00:53:20.440 James two twenty three says Abraham believed how many believers here tonight and says 613 00:53:20.480 --> 00:53:25.760 him was accounted to him for righteousness and he was called the friend of God. 614 00:53:29.599 --> 00:53:34.639 I thank God that he calls us his friends in spite of all that 615 00:53:34.719 --> 00:53:45.199 we have done. If we'll all live believe, say all living on livelief 616 00:53:55.719 --> 00:54:06.800 web, mind you, I'm mindful, love me that you hear me where 617 00:54:07.079 --> 00:54:17.920 I came? She' true that you I thinking love me? How you love 618 00:54:19.159 --> 00:54:29.519 me? It's a man, suely mine and mine that you love my f 619 00:54:31.840 --> 00:54:43.920 that you get me where I came? Isn't true? True that you my 620 00:54:44.039 --> 00:55:00.599 favor me? How can love me? Well, it's amaze. I am 621 00:55:00.719 --> 00:55:10.840 a friend of God. I am a friend of God because he bred a 622 00:55:12.159 --> 00:55:19.960 friend of God. I am a friend of Die. I am a friend 623 00:55:20.079 --> 00:55:37.679 of not because the brand grande that you are lifeful love me that you did 624 00:55:37.960 --> 00:55:59.519 be? When is it true that you are taking time now me so to 625 00:56:12.159 --> 00:56:31.159 friend friend of sweet, friend, a friend of God, friend God, 626 00:56:37.000 --> 00:56:52.639 somaz to amazing to be called a friend of God Israel and you breed with 627 00:56:52.039 --> 00:56:58.519 a classic friend of God. Right as we took the break, we were 628 00:56:58.599 --> 00:57:02.480 talking about social media, and I think we want to just maybe wrap that 629 00:57:02.639 --> 00:57:08.159 up by talking about how we can use social media to enhance our friendships and 630 00:57:09.519 --> 00:57:14.559 just kind of put some parameters around what friendship is because I think social media, 631 00:57:14.599 --> 00:57:16.559 and particularly for our young people, that screwed the idea. My son 632 00:57:16.639 --> 00:57:20.519 always says to me or he has, you know, how many friends? 633 00:57:20.599 --> 00:57:22.800 And he's he's made how many friends? And this is on social media. 634 00:57:22.840 --> 00:57:25.679 And I'm thinking, well, I'm not sure if that's a friend or an 635 00:57:25.679 --> 00:57:31.119 acquaintance or just a name online. Because for me, when you say friendship, 636 00:57:31.159 --> 00:57:35.360 it means something and it's deep and it's someone that you can share, 637 00:57:36.639 --> 00:57:38.920 you know, things with and memories with and so forth. So are we 638 00:57:39.079 --> 00:57:44.320 saying then that there is a way to use social media to enhance our friendships 639 00:57:44.360 --> 00:57:50.960 and it's in fact a plus. Yeah, And I'm just talking about experience. 640 00:57:51.239 --> 00:57:55.000 I think sometimes you can have friends that you don't see all the time, 641 00:57:55.679 --> 00:58:00.719 but then once you're putting out your business I say that I'm just joking 642 00:58:00.760 --> 00:58:04.960 when I say that, But once you're you're you know, you're showing well, 643 00:58:05.000 --> 00:58:07.880 this is what you're doing, and then it gives you or if I 644 00:58:07.920 --> 00:58:10.519 can see what somebody else is doing, it gives me more of a sense 645 00:58:10.599 --> 00:58:14.639 of that person, what they're up to and what they're doing. Right, 646 00:58:15.079 --> 00:58:19.880 So then when we do link again, then we can talk about what they've 647 00:58:19.880 --> 00:58:22.760 done because I've kind of been there in their life, if that makes sense. 648 00:58:22.440 --> 00:58:29.280 So from my personal experience, I met some people on Clubhouse and we 649 00:58:29.400 --> 00:58:35.239 took it offline. I did. I did either they were real and they 650 00:58:35.280 --> 00:58:39.559 lived in the States, and and then you know, we we we've just 651 00:58:40.039 --> 00:58:45.039 been connecting on WhatsApp and doing WhatsApp calls, FaceTime, that kind of thing. 652 00:58:45.679 --> 00:58:49.039 And one of them actually came to London. I went to meet her 653 00:58:49.519 --> 00:58:54.239 and it was just so nice and and just meeting her was just like instant 654 00:58:54.400 --> 00:59:00.239 like connection. And that is actually from I think it's just from chatting from 655 00:59:00.360 --> 00:59:05.719 before anyway, So I think it can work. But not only do we 656 00:59:05.800 --> 00:59:13.199 have social media, we do have connections from FaceTime, WhatsApp, video, 657 00:59:13.440 --> 00:59:17.400 Instagram video. We can do video calls to check these people out to see 658 00:59:17.480 --> 00:59:22.039 if they really are there. With mean, we know that people use and 659 00:59:22.199 --> 00:59:27.719 filters, right, that's fine, but I'm just saying that you don't if 660 00:59:27.760 --> 00:59:34.039 you're just building on dms, if you're just building a friendship on the comments 661 00:59:34.079 --> 00:59:37.880 that they make on your posts, then now you're just in a trick. 662 00:59:37.239 --> 00:59:40.440 Get them on, get them on a video call. And that always that's 663 00:59:40.440 --> 00:59:45.679 always a thing that I mentioned that show Catfish before again, and I have 664 00:59:45.760 --> 00:59:47.400 to other wonder how real it is a TV show after all. But one 665 00:59:47.440 --> 00:59:52.079 thing that always used to strike me is these relationships that people go really deep 666 00:59:52.119 --> 00:59:55.440 into they never met each other, they never saw the person. They might 667 00:59:55.480 --> 01:00:00.280 have seen pictures which often turned out to be pictures pulled from goodness. Those 668 01:00:00.320 --> 01:00:04.000 where but there's always some reason why they couldn't meet. There's always some reason 669 01:00:04.079 --> 01:00:07.400 why they couldn't do a video call. That would be a red flame. 670 01:00:07.760 --> 01:00:12.480 And these people are building, as you said, building deep, deep connections 671 01:00:12.519 --> 01:00:15.039 because they taught that they're speaking. Of course, you can write whatever you 672 01:00:15.159 --> 01:00:17.800 want and make it sound however, but like you said, it's where you 673 01:00:17.960 --> 01:00:22.599 then take it, and those are then some of those the qualities and things 674 01:00:22.639 --> 01:00:25.199 where you've made that connection, really thinking about what you want from a friendship 675 01:00:25.639 --> 01:00:30.280 and how you can develop that to be a bit more real about it as 676 01:00:30.320 --> 01:00:34.800 well. So yeah, that's definitely definitely the thing. These are the things 677 01:00:34.920 --> 01:00:37.000 was how could people be fooled by this? And I shouldn't say that because 678 01:00:37.000 --> 01:00:42.639 people are again, but you know, again, when we think about what 679 01:00:42.880 --> 01:00:45.119 we want friendships to be, you know you want, yes, you want 680 01:00:45.199 --> 01:00:47.880 someone to listen, you want someone to care, you want someone to be 681 01:00:49.199 --> 01:00:53.760 empathetic, but you also want somebody who's real and honest and truthful and actually 682 01:00:53.800 --> 01:00:57.880 going to have you know, real impact in your life in a really positive 683 01:00:57.920 --> 01:01:01.119 way. If someone's refusing to meet me, yeah, we've been talking every 684 01:01:01.199 --> 01:01:05.440 day, i'd have to wonder, well, what's this friendship about that? 685 01:01:05.960 --> 01:01:09.039 Yeah. It's easy to say that though, because if you are getting the 686 01:01:09.119 --> 01:01:15.119 attention that you so desire, then you may not. You got blinkers on, 687 01:01:15.639 --> 01:01:23.159 so you can't necessarily see that because every every every excuse or reason is 688 01:01:23.400 --> 01:01:28.199 it makes sense. Oh okay, you've got friends, Okay, fair enough. 689 01:01:28.280 --> 01:01:30.239 Oh oh I understand it, you know what I mean. And because 690 01:01:30.320 --> 01:01:37.119 you really want to have this relationship, so therefore you're like, you'll take 691 01:01:37.199 --> 01:01:39.920 that, You'll take what you can, which is sad. But then but 692 01:01:40.000 --> 01:01:45.320 then sorry, but then that's it. This is the word out to everyone 693 01:01:45.440 --> 01:01:50.199 listening. Get them on a video call, and even you don't even have 694 01:01:50.280 --> 01:01:54.119 to give your number. You can do it on Instagram, yeah, and 695 01:01:54.199 --> 01:01:59.480 then Facebook messenger as well. As you said that there really needs to be 696 01:02:00.000 --> 01:02:02.039 for me that what screams out here is that there really needs to be guidance 697 01:02:02.159 --> 01:02:08.280 and guidelines and sort of parameters around our friendships, especially those that we're just 698 01:02:08.480 --> 01:02:14.320 building from online contacts, online connections. Again, I'm thinking of the young 699 01:02:14.400 --> 01:02:17.000 people. I'm thinking about my son. I mean, of course there's loads 700 01:02:17.039 --> 01:02:22.360 of caution about giving out details all that kind of stuff for people that are 701 01:02:22.519 --> 01:02:25.599 in effect strangers. Yeah, they like you, they're friends on your you 702 01:02:25.679 --> 01:02:29.719 know, whether it's your Chat or your Facebook or whatever they are, But 703 01:02:29.800 --> 01:02:31.920 are they true friends? And if we go back to the definition or did 704 01:02:31.960 --> 01:02:37.039 we even define it, but in terms of having deep meaningful connection of deep 705 01:02:37.320 --> 01:02:42.360 meaningful relationships, then they obviously cannot be. And it takes a while to 706 01:02:42.480 --> 01:02:45.840 develop that. It takes a while to be able to trust people and invite 707 01:02:45.880 --> 01:02:49.679 them into your space, enter into theirs, and so you want to definitely 708 01:02:49.760 --> 01:02:54.679 put parameters around that, around relationship building, especially if you're building from the 709 01:02:54.760 --> 01:03:02.760 platform of social media for sure. And of course we have the the other 710 01:03:02.840 --> 01:03:07.280 side of the spectrum, where you know, we think everybody's our friend because 711 01:03:07.320 --> 01:03:10.440 they've connected to us. But obviously we know that that is not the case, 712 01:03:10.559 --> 01:03:15.559 because if we're talking about meaningful friendships and meaningful relationships and it cannot be, 713 01:03:15.719 --> 01:03:20.039 can't you can't have a thousand and five thousand and six thousand and upwards, 714 01:03:20.360 --> 01:03:22.960 you know, meaningful connections, meaningful friends, Like I can't see how 715 01:03:23.000 --> 01:03:28.320 that it's even possible so then we have to make sure we define what a 716 01:03:28.360 --> 01:03:32.719 friendship is and understand what a friendship is and and explore it from that perspective. 717 01:03:35.599 --> 01:03:37.199 You know, Angie, you were talking. I really want to get 718 01:03:37.239 --> 01:03:39.840 back to that because we want to talk about conflict resolution. I think that's 719 01:03:39.840 --> 01:03:44.400 something that we should touch on before we leave this afternoon and the time is 720 01:03:44.760 --> 01:03:49.840 flying by. But one of the issues, and on one of the reasons 721 01:03:49.920 --> 01:03:53.840 for broken relationships are people putting people's business outer door, as they would say, 722 01:03:55.280 --> 01:04:01.440 and social media social they're gonna be such can be the main culprit. 723 01:04:01.519 --> 01:04:06.760 You know, you see people's messaging and their fights are broadcasting on Instagram and 724 01:04:06.880 --> 01:04:12.679 wherever else. How do we how do we navigate that? What do you 725 01:04:12.760 --> 01:04:15.559 do if someone's done that to you? Do you do you retaliate? Do 726 01:04:15.679 --> 01:04:19.079 you take it offline? Do you can you what do you do? Do 727 01:04:19.159 --> 01:04:23.280 you cut them off? Disconnect? So I'm not a social media person, 728 01:04:23.400 --> 01:04:27.679 you can tell, but I mean, I think it's a really I think 729 01:04:27.679 --> 01:04:30.920 it's a really sad It's a really sad thing to think that actually, especially 730 01:04:30.960 --> 01:04:34.039 if you if that happens and the person has not had a conversation with they 731 01:04:34.119 --> 01:04:39.119 just put it out there, like you know, if your friendship was as 732 01:04:39.239 --> 01:04:43.760 close or as important it was important to you. I'd love to think that 733 01:04:43.800 --> 01:04:46.519 actually, rather than just putting it out there, you'd actually connect with that 734 01:04:46.639 --> 01:04:50.639 person and have some kind of conversation, even if it was an argument, 735 01:04:50.679 --> 01:04:56.039 if it was whatever, but you're you're addressing it with them directly, the 736 01:04:56.239 --> 01:05:00.320 kind of I was going to say passive aggressive, but it's incredibly aggressive way 737 01:05:00.360 --> 01:05:03.199 to put it out there, exposing what have you. I think it's it 738 01:05:03.199 --> 01:05:05.719 says a lot about the person doing it initially, I think as well, 739 01:05:05.719 --> 01:05:09.760 because you have to wonder what that's about. But also, you know, 740 01:05:10.280 --> 01:05:14.039 are people that are people hurt enough to say they're going to put their stuff 741 01:05:14.079 --> 01:05:16.559 out there with a spotlight as well as what's happened to them, you know. 742 01:05:16.719 --> 01:05:19.320 I just think that that's interesting in itself. There's a lot to be 743 01:05:19.400 --> 01:05:23.000 said about that maybe, but you know, you'd want to be able to 744 01:05:23.239 --> 01:05:26.880 connect that person. I mean they say which I'm thinking the text where it 745 01:05:26.960 --> 01:05:30.400 says, you know, if you if somebody has really go to your brother, 746 01:05:30.639 --> 01:05:33.360 you speak to them about it and you try and resolve it. You 747 01:05:33.480 --> 01:05:38.000 may have to get someone to come and maybe mediate with you. But you 748 01:05:38.079 --> 01:05:42.840 know, if you're if your relationship wasn't that important and if I'd like to 749 01:05:42.920 --> 01:05:45.559 think, okay, depending on what the situation obviously, because sometimes you know, 750 01:05:45.599 --> 01:05:49.199 when we're talking about what you know, the benefits and a good friendship, 751 01:05:49.320 --> 01:05:51.880 you know, if trust has been broken, that can be really difficult 752 01:05:51.880 --> 01:05:56.400 to come back from. If somebody's really hurt you by someone they've done, 753 01:05:56.440 --> 01:05:59.800 then you know, it's difficult, but I'd like to think you'd be able 754 01:05:59.840 --> 01:06:05.320 to go there and try and resolve it. Equally if somebody has that done 755 01:06:05.480 --> 01:06:11.199 for you. Maybe I don't know. Sometimes as a way of friendships kind 756 01:06:11.239 --> 01:06:16.519 of playing itself out, and sometimes these things happen for a reason, and 757 01:06:16.840 --> 01:06:20.440 if that means your friendships come to an end, then maybe that's just how 758 01:06:20.519 --> 01:06:26.000 it is, you know, and that's your sign to say this is this 759 01:06:26.440 --> 01:06:30.639 is something kind of go forward. Again, it's subjective because it depends on 760 01:06:30.679 --> 01:06:34.199 what the situation is. But you know, i'd like to think, you 761 01:06:34.280 --> 01:06:36.400 know, if you if you have a disagreement with somebody, or you have 762 01:06:36.519 --> 01:06:40.079 a problem with somebody, you might go and talk to them. Now, 763 01:06:40.119 --> 01:06:43.719 I know, if that's one always easy because it can be the awkward conversation 764 01:06:43.840 --> 01:06:48.760 that nobody wants to have. But good friendships are also honest ones. You 765 01:06:48.840 --> 01:06:53.519 know, you're able to call each other out in love and be able to 766 01:06:53.639 --> 01:06:58.519 kind of be open and honest and truthful with that person, even if it's 767 01:06:58.559 --> 01:07:01.280 maybe something they don't want to hear exactly. You know, our friendships are 768 01:07:01.320 --> 01:07:04.320 a different levels. So maybe it's not like that for some people. But 769 01:07:04.880 --> 01:07:08.840 a good friendship, a good positive friendship, and they're never going to come 770 01:07:08.840 --> 01:07:10.920 a little bit of that talk on the spiritual side of it as well. 771 01:07:11.679 --> 01:07:13.639 You know, you want to sort of come to that person and love to 772 01:07:13.679 --> 01:07:16.280 say, let's try and resolve this if you can. Yeah, and it's 773 01:07:16.320 --> 01:07:21.159 true we're talking about friendships, but it's sorry, go on, but putting 774 01:07:21.159 --> 01:07:25.920 it out there that's never a good look for both parties. You know. 775 01:07:26.360 --> 01:07:31.159 I's just yeah, so I mean speak this speaks to a conflict resolution as 776 01:07:31.199 --> 01:07:34.559 a whole, and surely you don't want to be able to because once you 777 01:07:34.639 --> 01:07:40.360 do that, you're getting the whole world involved as well. So there's all 778 01:07:40.599 --> 01:07:45.519 exactly, everybody gets ways in, everybody's got something to say exactly, everybody's 779 01:07:45.760 --> 01:07:50.199 taking sides, and it's just it just gets messy. It does literally really 780 01:07:50.320 --> 01:08:00.719 enjoy the drama. Well, I've got some people do people for the effect, 781 01:08:00.800 --> 01:08:02.880 it's all about the drama, that's the excitement for them. But for 782 01:08:03.000 --> 01:08:10.800 the views from views ends and what they're really about, you know, I've 783 01:08:10.840 --> 01:08:15.400 got two that speak to that. From we're talking about biblical principles, and 784 01:08:15.519 --> 01:08:20.520 Proverbs is full as it is full on issues of varying types. I love 785 01:08:20.600 --> 01:08:29.399 Proverbs. Proverbs eighteen sorry eighteen twenty four, Not sorry, wait, let 786 01:08:29.439 --> 01:08:32.800 me get that right, Probs sixteen twenty eight. A perverse person stirs up 787 01:08:32.880 --> 01:08:40.840 conflict and a gossip separates close friends. And then on the yeah, on 788 01:08:41.000 --> 01:08:46.039 the st again, a perverse person stirs up conflict and a gossip separates front 789 01:08:46.119 --> 01:08:50.399 I'm close friends. And then if we should move on now from the stirring 790 01:08:50.520 --> 01:08:55.560 and the stors, we can talk a little bit about this one, which 791 01:08:55.600 --> 01:09:00.520 is Proverbs seventeen nine. One who forgives and a front foster's friendship, but 792 01:09:00.680 --> 01:09:04.720 one who dwells on disputes will alienate a friend. And I think you ended 793 01:09:04.920 --> 01:09:10.319 You ended on that, Angie rightly so, and saying that if really it 794 01:09:10.479 --> 01:09:14.880 is a friendship worth worth salvaging, then it's something that you should be able 795 01:09:14.920 --> 01:09:19.319 to do behind sort of you know, offline, one on one and sort 796 01:09:19.359 --> 01:09:24.119 of talking it out and getting to the bottom of it. Because we're human 797 01:09:24.159 --> 01:09:27.199 beings. That's that's that's the thing. And we make mistakes, whether the 798 01:09:27.239 --> 01:09:30.840 mistake is what you did to the friend or the friend airing it. We 799 01:09:30.000 --> 01:09:35.000 make mistakes. And if friendships, and again I say, if I put 800 01:09:35.079 --> 01:09:43.039 that in cap bold underline highlight, if the friendship is worth salvaging, and 801 01:09:43.199 --> 01:09:45.920 that is an assessment you can only you can make, and you make it 802 01:09:45.199 --> 01:09:50.119 prayerfully. If it's worth salvaging, then I'm sure that you are able. 803 01:09:50.239 --> 01:09:54.880 You should be able to talk, whether you have to get the elders involved 804 01:09:54.920 --> 01:09:58.560 if we go back to the Bible, or get someone involved in the conversation, 805 01:09:58.800 --> 01:10:00.079 but you should be able to talk, get out and talk it through 806 01:10:00.680 --> 01:10:05.439 and come to come to a resolution or understanding, and to forgive, because 807 01:10:05.600 --> 01:10:15.479 to forgive is divine and it's human. So yeah, yeah, in theory, 808 01:10:17.159 --> 01:10:23.640 yeah, that's what I said. In theory, it's true. But 809 01:10:23.760 --> 01:10:27.399 when here's the problem. I think, first of all, I think everyone 810 01:10:27.439 --> 01:10:30.399 needs to get a life coach, right, because you talk about all these 811 01:10:30.479 --> 01:10:36.000 kind of things, but it's true, it's how how do is how we 812 01:10:36.159 --> 01:10:40.319 think and and if you're going to go and do that, there's like, 813 01:10:40.520 --> 01:10:44.680 like Andrew has said, there's something that's not right with you, and it's 814 01:10:44.880 --> 01:10:47.399 obviously it's your hurt and you're hurt and all of this kind of stuff, 815 01:10:47.479 --> 01:10:55.279 But it goes like this, what you're thinking then has an impact on what 816 01:10:55.359 --> 01:10:59.000 you're feeling, and then that has how you're feeling has an impact on what 817 01:10:59.119 --> 01:11:04.319 you do. So if and you know, we can't make somebody else do 818 01:11:04.560 --> 01:11:08.680 something right as much as we want them to, because we're all in an 819 01:11:08.760 --> 01:11:14.239 individual we we make our own choices. And so if you're really that upset 820 01:11:14.319 --> 01:11:16.680 about somebody and what they've done and all of that kind of stuff, right, 821 01:11:17.399 --> 01:11:21.079 think about, well, why are you that upset? What is actually 822 01:11:21.199 --> 01:11:28.000 going on? Why you feel this way? Why, why do you want? 823 01:11:28.720 --> 01:11:31.399 What do you think you're doing by putting it out on social media? 824 01:11:31.600 --> 01:11:35.800 Do you think that you're hurting them? Do you think that you're getting back 825 01:11:35.840 --> 01:11:41.640 at them? Or is it or you know or do you not know what 826 01:11:41.800 --> 01:11:45.000 to do? So you think, well, let me just put it out 827 01:11:45.039 --> 01:11:48.279 there for other people to do to to I don't know to comment on. 828 01:11:48.720 --> 01:11:51.600 But at the end of the day, it's like, all you're hurting really 829 01:11:51.800 --> 01:11:57.359 is yourself because it's bitterness, and that bitterness is just going to mess you 830 01:11:57.640 --> 01:12:02.279 up. And really, what you know, if that person has hurt you 831 01:12:02.520 --> 01:12:05.880 or whatever, is it, Like you said, is it worth salvaging? 832 01:12:06.399 --> 01:12:13.800 It's not worth messing up your reputation for by putting it out on social media, 833 01:12:13.840 --> 01:12:16.920 because that's really the only person who's going to get we think we're hurting. 834 01:12:17.119 --> 01:12:20.760 It's like, what's that same when you when you're drinking the poison expecting 835 01:12:20.840 --> 01:12:26.039 somebody else to die, to die, right, it's the same thing. 836 01:12:26.079 --> 01:12:29.159 You're putting it out there and you're expecting them to Yeah, you see. 837 01:12:29.479 --> 01:12:32.319 And at the end of the day, it's just messed up your own reputation. 838 01:12:32.439 --> 01:12:35.680 It's messed up your own self. It's just not worth it. But 839 01:12:35.840 --> 01:12:42.600 if but I think it is about actually, why do I do these things? 840 01:12:42.680 --> 01:12:45.560 Why am I feeling this way? Why am I thinking these thoughts? 841 01:12:45.239 --> 01:12:51.279 And once you can assess that before you make any decision on or any action, 842 01:12:51.880 --> 01:12:58.319 then you may find that actually the initial reason why you're going to do 843 01:12:58.479 --> 01:13:00.000 that it's not actually there, and why you're going to do that. It's 844 01:13:00.039 --> 01:13:05.159 something completely different, and you're so right. And when I when you, 845 01:13:05.279 --> 01:13:09.520 I want to add to that, if I could not only just thinking it 846 01:13:09.640 --> 01:13:15.039 through and and and figuring out what might be going on under deep or underneath, 847 01:13:15.880 --> 01:13:21.119 there's there's value in it. We really need to be prayerful about the 848 01:13:21.159 --> 01:13:26.920 decisions we yes, we really need to be prayerful. And because there's a 849 01:13:27.000 --> 01:13:29.760 saying that says, show me your friends, and I'll show you your future. 850 01:13:30.760 --> 01:13:34.800 Because friendships relationships are such a crucial part of our trajectory, we have 851 01:13:35.000 --> 01:13:39.439 to make sure that we pray about these decisions. Who are who we let 852 01:13:39.560 --> 01:13:42.479 in, who we who we let into our circle, who we cut off, 853 01:13:42.560 --> 01:13:45.920 who, how we deal with conflicts between ourselves, all these things and 854 01:13:46.039 --> 01:13:50.359 things. I mean, I know it's a word prayer, but but it's 855 01:13:50.479 --> 01:13:57.079 deep and it's it's necessary for us to navigate life and to navigate relationships because 856 01:13:57.079 --> 01:14:01.199 it's such an important part of where we end up and where we're heading is 857 01:14:01.239 --> 01:14:05.520 the relationships that we build, the friendships that we have. And Proverbs again 858 01:14:05.600 --> 01:14:09.399 speaks a lot to that. You know, if you're with friends with a 859 01:14:09.439 --> 01:14:12.640 fool, you become a fool, you know, if you're friends with someone 860 01:14:12.680 --> 01:14:15.199 who's always angry, you end up angry or you end up in problems because 861 01:14:15.239 --> 01:14:18.039 they're gonna get they're gonna beat that guy. You're walking with them and they're 862 01:14:18.039 --> 01:14:20.079 gonna fist the guy. The next thing you know, the fist comes your 863 01:14:20.119 --> 01:14:26.399 way. You know, it's very, very important that we make sure that 864 01:14:26.479 --> 01:14:31.560 we choose our friends wisely, and that also speaks to resolution. Do we 865 01:14:31.680 --> 01:14:34.479 want to resolve it? How should we resolve it? What do we say? 866 01:14:35.479 --> 01:14:39.359 What's going on with me? Because generally it takes two to tango. 867 01:14:39.439 --> 01:14:44.439 I've made a mistake generally as well, or something like that, so we 868 01:14:44.760 --> 01:14:47.640 definitely have to try to unpack it that way. I feel, yeah, 869 01:14:48.000 --> 01:14:55.319 I agree with that. I think that it's we have to think what would 870 01:14:55.399 --> 01:15:00.600 Jesus do? Right? And how did you keep telling our a man stop 871 01:15:00.720 --> 01:15:05.680 it? Well, I'm going to go a bit further because there's a song 872 01:15:05.760 --> 01:15:12.199 that I sing when I was little, and it is called the Helping Word 873 01:15:12.359 --> 01:15:15.079 right, and it starts if any if you know this, then please say 874 01:15:15.279 --> 01:15:21.680 go out on me on my own, if any little word of mine may 875 01:15:21.800 --> 01:15:25.399 make a dark life right, So, if any little song of mine may 876 01:15:25.520 --> 01:15:29.359 make a sad heart lighter, God, help me speak the helping word and 877 01:15:29.560 --> 01:15:32.359 sweeting it with singing and drop it in some lonely veil to set the echoes 878 01:15:32.399 --> 01:15:38.600 ringing. And basically it's like, we need to check ourselves every single day, 879 01:15:38.920 --> 01:15:43.079 right, what are we saying? Are we lifting people up or pushing 880 01:15:43.159 --> 01:15:47.000 people down? And it's like and when I say what would Jesus do? 881 01:15:47.720 --> 01:15:53.720 It's actually listen, that's how we should be trying to live. Am I 882 01:15:53.840 --> 01:15:56.960 living right? Am I saying the right thing? How am I being a 883 01:15:57.039 --> 01:16:01.800 good friend? You know? And and hopefully if we can check ourselves every 884 01:16:01.920 --> 01:16:05.600 day, what did I do today that was right? Lord, forgive me? 885 01:16:06.039 --> 01:16:12.039 You know what? What did I do right? And it's and then 886 01:16:12.479 --> 01:16:18.159 it may then stop us from doing nonsense like putting these things out on social 887 01:16:18.199 --> 01:16:23.640 media, which it has no place to be. Right. So that's what 888 01:16:23.800 --> 01:16:28.800 I think is really really important. And use our use our words of voice 889 01:16:28.840 --> 01:16:34.640 the way our relationships to lift others up, and that there is true friendship. 890 01:16:35.199 --> 01:16:39.600 Yeah, A man, I feel like that's a good word. That's 891 01:16:39.640 --> 01:16:45.960 a good word. Why don't we take one more song and then we can 892 01:16:46.079 --> 01:16:54.439 come back with closing thoughts and sort of wrap it up again. Time has 893 01:16:54.520 --> 01:16:58.079 first spent. We did have some technical trouble and and and I were talking 894 01:16:58.199 --> 01:17:00.600 offline of how we always come in commit to start at five, and then 895 01:17:00.880 --> 01:17:06.119 the internet's not working or something's going on. But we rebuked the devil, 896 01:17:09.399 --> 01:17:15.159 as my sister would say, get the rebuka. But we'll listen to this 897 01:17:15.319 --> 01:17:20.000 one, my forever friend. Another reminder of who Jesus is to us, 898 01:17:20.119 --> 01:17:23.479 and that is you know, I have to bring a bit of island into 899 01:17:23.520 --> 01:17:45.880 it by Carline Davis. I like Julie about this very special everybody needed sometime 900 01:17:47.159 --> 01:18:00.119 one day below makes a difference if you just cha like me, woman in 901 01:18:00.319 --> 01:18:13.359 the barn of father, no say shine, will your stand in line? 902 01:18:15.920 --> 01:18:34.199 Body a brain? Let me tell you of my He's my bead brain leaving 903 01:18:35.800 --> 01:18:53.159 brain, Brad. It's nice doing stand. He's my forever brain. Even 904 01:18:53.439 --> 01:19:04.880 when a turn of week cakes for me glow one and she shen a walk 905 01:19:05.000 --> 01:19:20.960 away. He's by my side with every brain. And sometimes I get my 906 01:19:21.239 --> 01:19:40.520 hairlo face to shine. Sometimes times's brain, but he's all with my He's 907 01:19:40.680 --> 01:19:55.439 my foe a braining. Think a lot about right, we're back talking point 908 01:19:55.680 --> 01:20:00.439 and we're discussing or just pulling the curtains down on our discussion about friendship and 909 01:20:00.640 --> 01:20:05.560 light of it being International Friendship Day tomorrow. Of those of us who didn't 910 01:20:05.600 --> 01:20:13.479 know, July thirty is International Friendship Day and celebrated across the world. Some 911 01:20:13.680 --> 01:20:19.279 countries are slightly different early July, middle August, but the essence of it 912 01:20:19.479 --> 01:20:25.800 is the same. We are celebrating our friends, remembering our friends, saying 913 01:20:25.880 --> 01:20:29.680 thank you to our friends, and coming back into the conversation, I think, 914 01:20:29.720 --> 01:20:34.159 Angie, you wanted to talk a little bit about the value our friendship. 915 01:20:34.199 --> 01:20:39.199 Why should we even bother? I mean, we've spoken about how it 916 01:20:39.279 --> 01:20:44.319 can fall apart, we've spoken about the effort that it can take. But 917 01:20:44.479 --> 01:20:47.159 why should we bother? Why should we have friends? What's the importance of 918 01:20:47.239 --> 01:20:51.319 it? Yeah, I mean it kind of really brought to mind the texts 919 01:20:51.399 --> 01:20:57.520 in Ecclesiastics, for where it's nine to twelve. It's saying the two people 920 01:20:57.560 --> 01:21:00.840 are better off than one, so they can help each other exceed. If 921 01:21:00.920 --> 01:21:03.560 one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who 922 01:21:03.600 --> 01:21:08.840 falls alone by themselves is in real trouble. Likewise, two people lying close 923 01:21:08.920 --> 01:21:12.359 together can keep each other warm, but how can one be warm alone? 924 01:21:12.840 --> 01:21:16.319 A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back 925 01:21:16.359 --> 01:21:18.920 to back and conquer, which I love that. Then it goes on to 926 01:21:19.000 --> 01:21:24.359 say three are even better for a triple Brady crowd is not easily broken. 927 01:21:24.840 --> 01:21:29.840 So you know, from that text it's really sort of highlighting the benefits of 928 01:21:29.960 --> 01:21:33.359 friendship. But you know, friendship we talked about from the beginning, friendships, 929 01:21:34.119 --> 01:21:39.119 bonds and connections, and whilst it may take time and effort to maintain, 930 01:21:39.880 --> 01:21:43.119 having friends and having a good friends network is definitely good for your well 931 01:21:43.199 --> 01:21:46.239 being and your mental health. You know, quality times them with people you 932 01:21:46.319 --> 01:21:54.000 know can improve your mood. What's the word it enhances sort of brings on 933 01:21:54.079 --> 01:21:58.000 the dopamine and the serotonian there's kind of happy hormones. You know, they 934 01:21:58.039 --> 01:22:01.319 can elevate and boost your outlook. You're surrounded by positive people and I don't 935 01:22:01.399 --> 01:22:03.680 mean sort of happy whatever all the time, but people who are going to 936 01:22:03.680 --> 01:22:08.159 be encouraging, We're going to be supportive. That's going to be good for 937 01:22:08.359 --> 01:22:11.319 you. You's only mentioned about having a life coach, but some of our 938 01:22:11.359 --> 01:22:15.079 friends are there to kind of help us reach our goals and kind of enhance 939 01:22:15.159 --> 01:22:17.920 our vision. Supportive in the things that we do. You know, they 940 01:22:17.960 --> 01:22:21.279 can help you. You know, if you think about some of the things 941 01:22:21.319 --> 01:22:25.960 you may do with each other, whether that could be exercising, getting fit, 942 01:22:26.479 --> 01:22:29.079 you know, having a meal with friends is always a good way to 943 01:22:29.159 --> 01:22:32.840 connect that kind of thing. It also can help you reduce your stress if 944 01:22:32.880 --> 01:22:36.359 you're having a tough time. When you have those people who may be around 945 01:22:36.399 --> 01:22:41.000 to pray for you, to speak encouraging words of life to you, to 946 01:22:41.159 --> 01:22:45.720 uplift you again can help with that. And especially when we think about you 947 01:22:45.760 --> 01:22:47.880 know, we went through the pandemic, one of the biggest things that came 948 01:22:47.920 --> 01:22:51.359 out of that was the problem of loneliness. I mean, we're talking and 949 01:22:51.399 --> 01:22:55.079 we're going to go into very quickly in terms of what we can do if 950 01:22:55.079 --> 01:22:59.039 you don't have friends. But so many people really don't have very good quality 951 01:22:59.079 --> 01:23:01.800 that some people don't have friends, and it sounds almost amazing to think that 952 01:23:01.840 --> 01:23:05.000 people don't, but actually people don't. Know, as always have that connection 953 01:23:05.920 --> 01:23:12.239 with people on whatever level. So you know that the connect the idea of 954 01:23:12.279 --> 01:23:16.079 connecting and people supporting you through tough times is really really important. So if 955 01:23:16.079 --> 01:23:19.039 they can help you cope with things and as you know, as we get 956 01:23:19.119 --> 01:23:23.720 older, you know, people can you know, your friends can boost your 957 01:23:23.720 --> 01:23:27.880 own self worth, can can build it your confidence, so you know, 958 01:23:27.960 --> 01:23:30.560 and also there's something about We've mentioned it before, it's not a one way 959 01:23:30.560 --> 01:23:33.239 street. It's a two way street. As much as your friendships can give 960 01:23:33.239 --> 01:23:36.920 you something, you giving something into that friendship is good for you as well. 961 01:23:38.520 --> 01:23:40.880 That kind of there's a word for that, and I can't think what 962 01:23:40.920 --> 01:23:45.000 it is, but it contributes to your own self confidence and self worth. 963 01:23:45.439 --> 01:23:47.560 And as we talked about, being a reflection of God and his love for 964 01:23:47.760 --> 01:23:53.560 us, is our way of reflecting that sharing that with others. But as 965 01:23:53.600 --> 01:23:56.439 I was saying before, as much as I'm saying that, so many people 966 01:23:56.600 --> 01:24:00.399 don't really have great friends, they haven't made those connections, so I guess, 967 01:24:00.479 --> 01:24:05.479 and sometimes that can be a really tough thing for people in whatever context. 968 01:24:05.520 --> 01:24:09.279 And I work at a university, and amount of people who come to 969 01:24:09.359 --> 01:24:13.760 university and they don't make good friends and they have a really tough time. 970 01:24:13.880 --> 01:24:16.039 And I've had many conversations with students going I don't know what to do, 971 01:24:16.279 --> 01:24:19.560 I'm shy, I'm anxious, I have social anxiety. How do I make 972 01:24:19.680 --> 01:24:24.079 friends? You know, and there's there's different ways of doing that, but 973 01:24:24.159 --> 01:24:27.600 that can be really tough for some people. So yeah, but overall, 974 01:24:28.319 --> 01:24:30.560 you know, having a having good friends, having a good friends support network, 975 01:24:30.640 --> 01:24:34.000 and making connections is definitely going to beneficial for you. And I think 976 01:24:34.000 --> 01:24:45.720 it's a way of showcasing God's love for each other human spirit from friendship definitely, 977 01:24:45.800 --> 01:24:48.239 I guess we'll say nice scenes when you think about making making connections? 978 01:24:48.479 --> 01:24:51.680 How can we make friends? Is that actually an easy thing to do? 979 01:24:51.720 --> 01:24:55.199 Because we're talking about it, they say, yeah, friendships come, you 980 01:24:55.279 --> 01:24:57.399 know, friendships come and go, and yeah, we can just make them 981 01:24:57.399 --> 01:25:01.000 when we meet people. But a little bit harder than we might possibly think. 982 01:25:01.199 --> 01:25:03.960 So you know, what what does it take for us to make friends? 983 01:25:04.319 --> 01:25:09.920 As it were? Well, I think that first of all, like 984 01:25:10.079 --> 01:25:16.399 attracts like right, so are you actually some would somebody want to be your 985 01:25:16.479 --> 01:25:21.239 friend? Right? How do you present yourself? And I don't mean that 986 01:25:21.399 --> 01:25:27.119 in a in a you know, be fake, but it's like, well 987 01:25:27.560 --> 01:25:30.039 what are you like? Why? Why do people not want to be your 988 01:25:30.079 --> 01:25:33.439 friend? Or why do you does it not work? And so sometimes you 989 01:25:33.520 --> 01:25:38.600 know, there are people out there who don't smile, they don't you know, 990 01:25:38.800 --> 01:25:45.319 they're just not really approachable. But sometimes it is about us changing how 991 01:25:45.439 --> 01:25:49.720 we are so we become we attract what we actually want, if you like, 992 01:25:50.840 --> 01:25:57.720 I think it's it's just things like and this. This is quite interesting 993 01:25:57.760 --> 01:26:05.439 because it goes with actually finding a spouse, but it's also about you know, 994 01:26:05.600 --> 01:26:12.000 also in business finding clients. Right. But there's a wonderful app called 995 01:26:12.479 --> 01:26:16.239 not app. It's it's a website actually called meetup meetup dot com. And 996 01:26:16.560 --> 01:26:24.119 in meetup dot com there are just loads of different options that you have locally 997 01:26:24.439 --> 01:26:29.359 and virtually as well. And that's where you can have things that you are 998 01:26:29.560 --> 01:26:32.279 interested in. So it maybe I don't know, some obscure hobby that you 999 01:26:32.439 --> 01:26:38.640 have, but you'll find something there which you can relate to which you could 1000 01:26:38.720 --> 01:26:42.960 join and then do an actual meet up with them, and you know, 1001 01:26:43.239 --> 01:26:46.600 and be out there to talk to people and so on. If there isn't 1002 01:26:46.600 --> 01:26:53.399 anything there, then set one up and see how that goes for you. 1003 01:26:53.720 --> 01:26:56.640 I mean, I set up a meetup group it's called forty fifteen Fly. 1004 01:26:57.039 --> 01:27:00.960 I ended up having fourteen hundred people on there, right, Yeah, but 1005 01:27:02.000 --> 01:27:05.439 I only I mean in the meetups that I had, I had just a 1006 01:27:05.560 --> 01:27:10.840 handful, but out of those I did meet a really good friend actually. 1007 01:27:11.359 --> 01:27:15.199 But it's like, if there's not a group out there for you, then 1008 01:27:15.359 --> 01:27:19.039 set up stuff. If there's something that you like, like maybe you want 1009 01:27:19.039 --> 01:27:25.199 to go and see a West End show or something, put it out there 1010 01:27:25.399 --> 01:27:27.960 and just say, hey, who's interested to come and see this show. 1011 01:27:28.479 --> 01:27:32.119 And one thing I've found in my life is when you spend time with people, 1012 01:27:32.680 --> 01:27:38.520 it really does build that connection with them as well. So you know, 1013 01:27:38.640 --> 01:27:40.640 you see them again and you're like, you know this, hugs and 1014 01:27:40.720 --> 01:27:45.840 all sorts. If you do meet people might be a networking event, it 1015 01:27:45.920 --> 01:27:51.760 could be anything. Don't just talk about yourself, be curious, be curious, 1016 01:27:53.319 --> 01:27:58.760 talk about you know, ask them questions and you know, yeah, 1017 01:27:58.840 --> 01:28:02.560 just find out about them because people love talking about themselves. And guaranteed when 1018 01:28:02.640 --> 01:28:06.119 they walk away, they think, oh they were really nice, right, 1019 01:28:06.439 --> 01:28:10.680 love talking to them, But really they were just because they were just talking 1020 01:28:10.680 --> 01:28:15.399 about themselves. Right. And also, you know, yes, you do 1021 01:28:15.520 --> 01:28:19.920 have social media, there's people that maybe you have spoken to, you connected 1022 01:28:20.000 --> 01:28:24.680 with, but you know, get into the habit of saying, if there 1023 01:28:24.800 --> 01:28:28.880 is somebody that you connect with, start off with okay, so are you 1024 01:28:29.000 --> 01:28:33.159 on social media, what's your what's your Instagram handle? You know where, 1025 01:28:33.319 --> 01:28:40.880 what's your name on Facebook? And actually then start talking to them and getting 1026 01:28:40.960 --> 01:28:45.039 to the d ms and start talking to them you've already met them, and 1027 01:28:45.520 --> 01:28:48.960 just build that relationship. Because sometimes we have that experience where oh we had 1028 01:28:49.000 --> 01:28:53.239 a good lave, they were great, but then that's it. But actually 1029 01:28:53.359 --> 01:28:59.079 come out of your comfort zone and actually start talking to them and and then 1030 01:28:59.159 --> 01:29:03.880 also start saying yes to things, because we may be saying we have no 1031 01:29:04.039 --> 01:29:06.960 friends, but we don't. Actually we say a no to everything. We 1032 01:29:08.000 --> 01:29:13.199 don't want to do anything. And even though I mean I call him Minas 1033 01:29:13.520 --> 01:29:18.800 right Minas, because we now do that and they don't want to. You 1034 01:29:18.880 --> 01:29:21.800 know, it's people who actually they look at something and think, oh no, 1035 01:29:21.920 --> 01:29:26.199 I don't I don't do that. But it's like, come out your 1036 01:29:26.239 --> 01:29:29.199 comfort zone, say yes, go and do it. You might you might 1037 01:29:29.359 --> 01:29:33.720 surprise yourself at the kind of people that do that may actually be your kind 1038 01:29:33.800 --> 01:29:40.720 of people. And yeah, and just don't be afraid really to initiate, 1039 01:29:40.880 --> 01:29:44.720 you know, go up to somebody. I know it's hard because I'm quite 1040 01:29:44.760 --> 01:29:47.399 shy myself, believe it or not. And okay, it used to be, 1041 01:29:48.000 --> 01:29:54.640 but it's still there. But go up to somebody and and to start 1042 01:29:54.680 --> 01:29:58.199 talking. And some of the things that I do is and this is only 1043 01:29:58.359 --> 01:30:01.880 if you actually believe it is compliment them. I really like your hair, 1044 01:30:02.399 --> 01:30:05.119 I really oh that just I really like that dress. Where'd you get it 1045 01:30:05.239 --> 01:30:11.840 from? You know whatever? And start yeah, and just start talking to 1046 01:30:11.960 --> 01:30:14.680 somebody. But you have to be nice. You have to be smiley. 1047 01:30:14.720 --> 01:30:17.720 You can't be you know, don't go up to somebody and just say or 1048 01:30:17.840 --> 01:30:23.199 just be kind of like rough, right, but be nice, be complimentary, 1049 01:30:23.520 --> 01:30:27.960 and smile and your babies, and be curious and ask questions but not 1050 01:30:28.079 --> 01:30:30.800 in a scary way. And you may find that actually it's a really nice 1051 01:30:30.840 --> 01:30:35.079 conversation. And then if it does go well, get their start with the 1052 01:30:35.159 --> 01:30:39.199 social media right, if they say they're not on social media, just say, 1053 01:30:39.239 --> 01:30:40.840 okay, what do you mind? Can we you know, let's we 1054 01:30:40.880 --> 01:30:45.640 should keep in touch. I really enjoyed this conversation. And also sometimes and 1055 01:30:45.720 --> 01:30:47.319 you have to be careful with this though, but you know, get vulnerable 1056 01:30:47.800 --> 01:30:55.520 with people, and sometimes we are on the surface with people, particularly at 1057 01:30:55.640 --> 01:30:59.560 church as well. But sometimes when you get when you get them outside of 1058 01:30:59.720 --> 01:31:06.840 church and you know whether it's going to an event or you know, just 1059 01:31:08.039 --> 01:31:12.000 could be I don't know anything. But you get them outside of church, 1060 01:31:12.479 --> 01:31:15.720 and you know you can find that actually they'll put this person's all right and 1061 01:31:15.840 --> 01:31:20.039 you can maybe have that connection, but you won't know until you try. 1062 01:31:20.680 --> 01:31:26.000 And and lastly, I just want to say, we've got to be patient 1063 01:31:26.239 --> 01:31:30.239 with it as well, because you're not gonna go in get a friend or 1064 01:31:30.319 --> 01:31:33.359 new friend and then all of a sudden you know your best is going on 1065 01:31:33.439 --> 01:31:38.960 holiday together and all this kind of stuff. Just be patient. You know, 1066 01:31:39.319 --> 01:31:43.399 it does take time, particularly to build strong relationships as well, and 1067 01:31:43.560 --> 01:31:50.399 so you know, be active, Be proactive, that's the word I was 1068 01:31:50.439 --> 01:31:55.319 looking for. Be proactive, and try some of these things go up there. 1069 01:31:55.640 --> 01:31:58.279 You never know where it's going to end. And you may actually find 1070 01:31:58.359 --> 01:32:02.279 somebody who is looking for somebody to speak to and for a friend as well, 1071 01:32:02.439 --> 01:32:08.800 and there may be more things there that you actually, you know, 1072 01:32:08.920 --> 01:32:12.880 I just blow your mind that actually we really got stuck in common. So 1073 01:32:13.039 --> 01:32:15.560 yeah, so be patient and get it out there and try and get some 1074 01:32:16.199 --> 01:32:19.840 friends, just acquaintances. Just start. Not everybody's going to be for you, 1075 01:32:20.560 --> 01:32:26.439 but you may find that you will see some we meet people that are 1076 01:32:26.960 --> 01:32:32.560 yeah, good areas also volunteering opportunities as well, and we're going to volunteer 1077 01:32:33.399 --> 01:32:39.600 to do something. Puts you into different contexts, different activities and often you 1078 01:32:39.640 --> 01:32:42.520 know you've got to shared interests. You know, people a volunteering because of 1079 01:32:42.600 --> 01:32:45.840 whatever reason. So that's definitely where you can go on. There another way 1080 01:32:46.119 --> 01:32:49.880 to do so there's you know, things like exercise classes, go and enjoin 1081 01:32:50.000 --> 01:32:54.439 those. Some of them like mind for example, that's not a plug. 1082 01:32:55.640 --> 01:33:00.720 It's very it's very community based, right, and and then you know just 1083 01:33:00.880 --> 01:33:03.560 things that think about about the things that you like. Just go out. 1084 01:33:03.640 --> 01:33:08.319 There's so many you demes another one, but there's so many places. Check 1085 01:33:08.399 --> 01:33:15.640 your local local authority. They may have some free classes, even copying classes, 1086 01:33:15.199 --> 01:33:20.640 hiking groups, sports groups, were joint a committee at work even and 1087 01:33:23.119 --> 01:33:28.359 so think about the things that you like and just go out. And in 1088 01:33:28.399 --> 01:33:32.680 a church community as well, I mean there's opportunities outside of maybe your local 1089 01:33:32.840 --> 01:33:38.000 church and they put yourself up for representing, go to conferences that kind of 1090 01:33:38.039 --> 01:33:42.119 thing. That's right, Different activities, you know, volunteer with the Path 1091 01:33:42.159 --> 01:33:45.000 finance or something like that. You know, you might have a normal circle 1092 01:33:45.560 --> 01:33:49.279 normal routines and talk to people. Yeah. Yeah, if you just go 1093 01:33:49.399 --> 01:33:54.000 in there and just sitting there and not saying nothing and doing nothing, go 1094 01:33:54.239 --> 01:33:58.479 and talk to people. You can't make a friend if you're not out there 1095 01:33:58.520 --> 01:34:04.560 and meeting people and talking to people just can't happen. So very good points. 1096 01:34:04.600 --> 01:34:09.680 Indeed, Uh, I think for me, I would just as you've 1097 01:34:09.680 --> 01:34:15.600 said you Genny, just say, be prayerful, be careful. Everything needs, 1098 01:34:15.800 --> 01:34:20.079 you know, parameters, Everything needs sort of guidance and understanding of how 1099 01:34:20.199 --> 01:34:25.079 to go about things. You need, you need to seek the the the 1100 01:34:25.960 --> 01:34:31.520 Holy Spirit in terms of when and where you I'm very very careful about that. 1101 01:34:31.720 --> 01:34:34.640 And you it's not everyone that you want to invite into your circle. 1102 01:34:35.399 --> 01:34:39.000 It's a reason body you want to invite into your space. So just be 1103 01:34:39.159 --> 01:34:44.880 careful and prayerful about that. And also I come back to the point you 1104 01:34:44.960 --> 01:34:49.520 made very very early on, Angie, and I listened to Bishop speak about 1105 01:34:49.600 --> 01:34:54.640 that in fact, in preparation for the program, and it resonated with me. 1106 01:34:54.760 --> 01:34:58.279 The differences and friends. You know, you've got your comrades, you've 1107 01:34:58.319 --> 01:35:05.960 got your constituents, and you've got your confidence. And the difference is that 1108 01:35:06.079 --> 01:35:11.039 your confidence are your right or die if you please. So people who will 1109 01:35:11.119 --> 01:35:15.159 love you regardless, regardless of the mistakes you've made, regardless of whether you're 1110 01:35:15.239 --> 01:35:17.079 up or dumb, in or out, rich or poor, those are the 1111 01:35:17.119 --> 01:35:23.359 ones that will stick by you through thick and thin. And then you've got 1112 01:35:23.439 --> 01:35:29.239 the comrades who are just with you because you're against something else. So that's 1113 01:35:29.279 --> 01:35:31.159 where they join. They're join with you because we've got a common enemy. 1114 01:35:32.039 --> 01:35:35.479 So I don't like X, you don't like X, Okay, let's join 1115 01:35:35.560 --> 01:35:41.119 together against X. So there's no real deepness in that. There's no genuine 1116 01:35:41.479 --> 01:35:44.359 and in that, And we have to be careful not to confuse the two. 1117 01:35:45.199 --> 01:35:47.960 And then the third type in terms of that person is just with you 1118 01:35:48.079 --> 01:35:54.960 because of where we're going. And be careful there too, because if you 1119 01:35:55.119 --> 01:36:00.840 change the direction then you'll lose that friend, or if someone's going there faster, 1120 01:36:00.840 --> 01:36:05.119 you lose that friend. And my mom, I think I've said it. 1121 01:36:05.600 --> 01:36:10.880 I find the reason to say it almost every other show, but and 1122 01:36:10.960 --> 01:36:12.960 you maybe it's sick of it. I mean, but then maybe one person 1123 01:36:13.000 --> 01:36:17.000 who haven't heard it. You don't need a forest, you just need one 1124 01:36:17.119 --> 01:36:24.319 three one tree for shade, and that's an important principle if you have it's 1125 01:36:24.359 --> 01:36:28.239 about quality, not quantity. So if you've got two or three, until 1126 01:36:28.359 --> 01:36:30.840 you spoke to that that people generally in their lifetime have two or three. 1127 01:36:31.000 --> 01:36:34.479 Christ had an inner inner circle, He had a circle, He had an 1128 01:36:34.520 --> 01:36:40.279 inner circle. So we have to be careful and prayerful about who we bring 1129 01:36:40.359 --> 01:36:43.800 into the inner circle. And we don't need to have a lot of friends. 1130 01:36:43.880 --> 01:36:46.600 It's exhausting, it's expensive, it's et cetera, et cetera, et 1131 01:36:46.640 --> 01:36:53.680 cetera. We just need to have a core and it can increase our lifespan. 1132 01:36:54.000 --> 01:37:00.760 It it adds to our health or wealth, our strength. So there's 1133 01:37:00.800 --> 01:37:03.239 lots of reasons why, but just be careful and prayerful about who you select 1134 01:37:03.279 --> 01:37:10.119 to who you bring into your inner circle. That would be my final word. 1135 01:37:14.199 --> 01:37:18.119 Andy, we are quarter past. Why can you close us out with 1136 01:37:18.479 --> 01:37:23.640 a prayer. I will do okay, let's pray, Father God. I 1137 01:37:23.720 --> 01:37:26.760 want to thank you for blessing us with us the Sabbath day. Dear Lord, 1138 01:37:26.800 --> 01:37:28.840 I thank you for the sunshine that I can see where I am. 1139 01:37:28.960 --> 01:37:32.520 And I thank you, Dear Lord, for this opportunity to talk about friendship. 1140 01:37:32.560 --> 01:37:35.560 Dear Lord, I thank you for our friends. I thank you for 1141 01:37:35.680 --> 01:37:39.920 those people that you've placed in our lives, for connection, for laughter, 1142 01:37:40.159 --> 01:37:45.039 for comfort, for strength, for encouragement, for unity, for forgiveness and 1143 01:37:45.159 --> 01:37:47.680 grace, for celebration and enjoy. Dear Lord, there are so many things 1144 01:37:47.760 --> 01:37:50.880 that these people, these special people who brought into our lives, can add 1145 01:37:50.920 --> 01:37:54.479 to our own lives, Dear Lord, and I thank you for them. 1146 01:37:55.159 --> 01:37:59.319 I thank you that we have this opportunity to share our lives with them and 1147 01:37:59.520 --> 01:38:01.760 us with them as to Dear Lord, and I pray that we will value 1148 01:38:01.800 --> 01:38:08.359 our friendship. Dear Lord, help us gake the time to thank those people 1149 01:38:08.680 --> 01:38:12.000 who are special to us. And Dear Lord, for those people who may 1150 01:38:12.479 --> 01:38:15.239 have those close connections, I pray, Dear Lord, that you will be 1151 01:38:15.399 --> 01:38:18.560 with them and you will provide those people who can make an impact. But 1152 01:38:18.680 --> 01:38:23.520 ultimately, Dear Lord, we know that you are our ultimate friend. You 1153 01:38:23.640 --> 01:38:26.760 are our source, You are our life giver. You are there for us 1154 01:38:26.880 --> 01:38:30.920 no matter what. You are our confidante, You are the person who means 1155 01:38:30.119 --> 01:38:32.800 You can mean so much to us. So, Dear Lord, if we 1156 01:38:32.840 --> 01:38:38.560 don't have human earthly friends around us, Dear Lord, help us to stick 1157 01:38:38.600 --> 01:38:44.000 closer to you and to build that friendship and relationship, and your love hopefully 1158 01:38:44.039 --> 01:38:46.560 will radiate and bring others to us. I thank you for this opportunity to 1159 01:38:46.760 --> 01:38:50.560 say thank you, Dear Lord, and to celebrate our friends, and not 1160 01:38:50.680 --> 01:38:56.279 just for one day as in tomorrow, but for all days and always, 1161 01:38:56.319 --> 01:39:00.600 Dear Lord, and I thank you for this program. And I pray that 1162 01:39:00.680 --> 01:39:04.199 somebody was mess about what we've been talking about and can go away and use 1163 01:39:04.319 --> 01:39:10.760 those of its otunity to develop friendships. And thank you for each person here 1164 01:39:10.800 --> 01:39:13.680 and the friendships that they have and the loves that they have, and for 1165 01:39:13.720 --> 01:39:17.680 besting us all. This is my crep, Amen, Amen, wonderful. 1166 01:39:17.800 --> 01:39:21.119 Well, as I said, our time's first spent. But that's okay. 1167 01:39:21.159 --> 01:39:28.359 I'm next, So stay with us for Saturday Night Praise. It's a musical 1168 01:39:28.800 --> 01:39:33.479 journey and I'm sure you'll enjoy You'll enjoy it. You, Jenny, thank 1169 01:39:33.560 --> 01:39:38.439 you so much for joining us. May God bless you and your friendships and 1170 01:39:38.560 --> 01:39:44.840 relationships about you as well. And you've mentioned before that you offer services, 1171 01:39:45.079 --> 01:39:47.319 So if you just want to quickly say how people can get in touch with 1172 01:39:47.399 --> 01:39:50.720 you if you like, otherwise, they can come to us at the station 1173 01:39:50.760 --> 01:39:56.079 and we can share the information up to you. Okay, So if you 1174 01:39:56.199 --> 01:40:00.399 do want to go in touch with me, you can email me at Shaney 1175 01:40:00.560 --> 01:40:04.720 e U g E n I E at Adventis Radio London dot no Adventist Radio 1176 01:40:04.800 --> 01:40:11.119 dot London. I'd love to have you on the show. And then if 1177 01:40:11.199 --> 01:40:14.800 you want to get and have a word with me about anything that most said 1178 01:40:14.840 --> 01:40:20.880 today, then you can just get me on social media at designed as d 1179 01:40:21.039 --> 01:40:26.680 E s I g n E D number two Live Designed to Live d E 1180 01:40:27.079 --> 01:40:34.720 s I g g n E D too Live l I V. That's hilarious. 1181 01:40:35.920 --> 01:40:40.319 I need to learn how to say that real quick. I'm going to 1182 01:40:40.399 --> 01:40:44.239 practice that. Indeed. That's okay, we got it, we got it. 1183 01:40:44.399 --> 01:40:46.039 Thank you again for joining us, Thank you for having me. It's 1184 01:40:46.079 --> 01:40:49.680 been great. Thank you. Right, I'm gonna say good night for myself. 1185 01:40:49.920 --> 01:40:59.600 I was about to say ray screen by myself, Samia from good night, 1186 01:40:59.760 --> 01:41:02.800 and I'm enjoy the rest of your week still weekend, sorry, and 1187 01:41:03.079 --> 01:41:05.720 you know all the best four this coming week, and I hope it's a 1188 01:41:05.760 --> 01:41:13.520 blessed one and goodbye from and it's a good night from me. See I'm 1189 01:41:13.560 --> 01:41:17.199 see I'm still showing my age and I it's all good, it's all good. 1190 01:41:17.239 --> 01:41:23.359 It's been wonderful and it's been too good Night, good night, thank 1191 01:41:23.439 --> 01:41:29.439 you. See Adventist Radio London inspiration for the song