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Well, I' ve already passed
him, and I' m ready to

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start the show. With you we
mention the word validate, validate emotions,

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validate what your children feel. And
one of the questions that they ask me

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a lot is but what it is
to validate good validity is to recognize the

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other that what he feels is just
worth it because the person feels it.

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That' s neither to agree nor
to tell him that then things are done

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only because the person wants it to. Don' t disqualify that the consequence

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you put in it or established it, then we' re going to withdraw

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it. Simple and simple. It
is recognized that what the other feels is

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worth that. It' s just
that if your son got angry about something

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you set up, it' s
recognizing him that it' s okay to

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feel it. That doesn' t
mean that then you take the consequence and

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give them their cell phone back,
or they' ll be able to go

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to the party you said no to, or they can stay an hour longer,

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even though you told them no longer. Not simply and simply your feeling

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is correct, but you will still
have to return or you will have to

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wait. It has passed tomorrow to
recover your cell phone, but the emotion

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is valid, simple and simply because
you feel it and that recognition is the

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one that matters. So don'
t disqualify pale. They have ever felt

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that little mistake that occurs when suddenly
your partner is past the time when he

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or she would have to arrive and
doesn' t come and he or she

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doesn' t talk to you or
that nervousness that you notice in your children

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when it got a little late and
to get to school for them. And

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when you arrive you find them crying
and at the explanation of my love.

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But you' re in a safe
place, you' re with the teacher.

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There was just a little traffic.
What' s wrong with you and

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he' s out of his mind
crying and so on, well that'

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s called separation anxiety, that nerve
that normally feels in your stomach and that

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suddenly, even though you' re
saying a lot of things, sure,

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there' s traffic, sure,
it' s out of cell phone battery,

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but it shouldn' t be okay, and yet you don' t

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take that feeling away. Well,
that' s called separation anxiety. What

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is separation anxiety? It' s
that fear of the possible loss of someone

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you love and who starts unleashing on
you a lot of fantasies that something bad

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could have happened to the person and
that he may have abandoned you. Well,

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that separation anxiety doesn' t take
away in life. We learn to

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drive it, but it doesn'
t go away and it appears whenever there

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' s one, there' s
no explanation, and that possible sense of

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abandonment is revived in us. We
all have it and we have to teach

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it to handle our children, whenever
it' s a child. It'

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s very important that if there'
s going to be a delay, if

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there' s going to be a
situation you know you can predict, notify

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your son, my love. If
I' m late, your grandma'

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s gonna be, she' s
gonna be, Dad You' re in

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a safe place. I' ll
get there. It' s important that

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you know that I' m not
going to let you sign it because while

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they' re little, it'
s very important that that anxiety appears and

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the less times they suffer. It' s better for them to grow up

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safe. One of the most misleading
myths that has the idea of self-

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esteem is to think that self-
esteem. We have a single idea of

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who I am and how I value
myself and see that we actually have a

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lot of self- esteem. It
depends on what area, life or life

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you have your self- esteem.
Why, for example, how your self

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- esteem is as a woman or
as a man, not in personal terms,

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as a couple, whether you are
a mother or a father. How

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do you have it in your paternity, in your motherhood, How do you

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have it as a professional, as
a worker, as a worker, How

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is your self- esteem as a
co- worker, How is your self

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- esteem? As a friend,
how' s your self- esteem?

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As a son, how' s
your self- esteem? As brothers,

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if you have brothers, how'
s your self- esteem? As a

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couple, how' s your self- esteem? How does someone who cooks,

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for example, know how to cook
how you have your self- esteem?

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In that context, the reality is
that our self- esteem is a

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whole cake that you can split into
slices and depending on the different roles you

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have in life, your self-
esteem may or may not have a different

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place, depending on how you are
working right now in your life in different

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areas. So forget about that big
umbrella that covers you and you better check

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your life in areas and you'
re gonna see how the evaluation of the

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blissful self- esteem is going to
be different and now that we get back,

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let' s see how to have
straw self- esteem. It gives

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you information to know what you have
to be different. Notice that, speaking

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of self- esteem, I think
I would ask you what it tells you

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to have low self- esteem,
because sometimes we just keep this idea that

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I have very low self- esteem
and we just stay at the level of

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suffering. That' s why it
feels ugly to have low self- esteem.

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I feel bad about having low self- esteem and not taking the next

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step and having low self- esteem
or feeling low self- esteem feeling less,

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feeling that we serve ourselves, feeling
little, feeling that we are not

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worth the phrase that everyone wants to
say when they have the self- esteem

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thermometer down. Actually, what you' re telling us is that in that

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area of our life, because I
insist it' s not a thermometer that

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spans our whole life. It'
s by areas. What you' re

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telling us is that in that specific
area of our life I' m needing

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to make changes, I' m
needing to modify things. I need to

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make variations so that I can take
control of what I want to change,

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because self- esteem will improve to
the extent that I am able to solve

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my needs and desires in what in
that, in that specific area of my

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existence. So, how can I
have or others take control over that where

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I feel I' m not being
enough. So, that' s a

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warning, is it a little earring
that' s giving me life to tell

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me here I need to make changes? What are those changes you' re

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going to make? So, as
you will see, low self- esteem

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plays in my favor as long as
I appropriate my existence and my agency of

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my life. What are you going
to do, you hello Doctor, I

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' m twelve years old and my
dad' s already turned one year old

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who can' t find a job. Right now they are motivated, what

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they can do to help them motivate
and find a good job. First of

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all, it gives me great emotion
and tenderness to worry about your daddy very

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much, because that speaks very well
of what your dad has done for you

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at home. And yes, certainly, there are times in family lives where

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we have to be that motivation back
for what dads have done for us.

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However, I think what you play
when you' re twelve is that you

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' re a lot to your dad
and be a great source of positive thinking

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and tell him that you believe in
him, that you love him a lot,

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that you know that things are going
to work out and that you trust

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a lot of the ability that he
has to get ahead. Because if something

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usually brings parents forward, it is
the children that are the great motivation that

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the children are and already at your
age that you can comfort him with words

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and being there with patience, without
a doubt, is something that will help

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him. And the other thing,
being as old as you are, is

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being aware that when a dad is
looking for a job, and that also

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implies for a dad to be aware
to the family that you can' t

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have the same levels of expenses that
you have to tighten the belt, as

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it is said colloquially, because,
well, you can' t spend the

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same. Expenditure must be limited to
what is necessary and basic. One,

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as a son, is going to
take it well and trust that parents know

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how, when and to where.
So do it with good pleasure and trusting

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them with good will. That'
s the other thing that' s probably

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gonna make things easy for your dad
to do. I congratulate you on that

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willingness. Whenever it comes to education, one must think and be clear that

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children cannot be controlled. And for
that, the example I' m setting,

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because it' s super obvious,
is to try to beat a seven

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- eight- month- old baby
that he doesn' t want, they

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can try to abuse his strength,
turn him upside down, shove his spoon

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in, and, if he doesn' t want to, swallow, he

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makes a trumpet and spits at them
all. So controlling a child is not

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possible. What we can control are
the consequences of your actions so that your

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child may want to change his or
her behavior, but by his or her

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own decision, so keep in mind. We always control the consequences of their

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actions. That' s all we
do and they, by their own decision,

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are going to modify their behaviors and
in that way let' s educate

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them that sometimes they do. In
fact, sometimes the consequence you put on

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your child doesn' t seem to
serve, that is, you set something

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as a consequence and don' t
change your child' s behavior again.

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He keeps doing things inappropriately and you
have to be careful before deciding that the

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consequence did not work. First it
takes a little time to establish the same

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consequence. Why. Because there are
temperaments, there are types of characters in

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children, in teenagers, where not
always at first they will learn, they

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will understand and sometimes repeat inappropriate behavior. Then don' t change so fast.

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Sometimes the consequence has to be repeated
so that your son or your daughter

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understands that it really didn' t
go that way, is that you don

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' t respond impulsively by saying chin
didn' t work, so she didn

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' t learn. I' m
going to change it, and I'

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m going to give it another consequence. Don' t react so quickly,

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wait a minute. Sometimes it is
a style of temperament and personality and what

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you need is to wait for other
tips in case you really don' t

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go there, but don' t
respond by changing the consequence so soon.

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I' m divorcing my wife,
but it turns out that my wife is

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texting the groom in the messages she
sent to the above- mentioned one,

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tells him that I' m going
with my ex- girlfriend. The thing

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is, my wife, who,
by the way, is getting divorced,

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is very jealous when I have nothing
to do with it. And now it

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turns out he' s texting my
ex- girlfriend' s boyfriend. And

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now I don' t know.
If I was looking for my ex-

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girlfriend to tell her that she'
s her boyfriend, she' d text

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my wife. Tell me what I
do, please advise me what you want

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to complicate our existence. The point
for me is that sometimes I get more

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tangled. It' s something else
we have to do. And you start

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by telling me I' m getting
a divorce from my wife. If you

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' re already getting a divorce from
your wife, don' t do anything

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and let this mess get you nuts
on your own. You' re already

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in a break- up process.
So, what you need to want to

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do clarifications when in reality, what' s important is that you' re

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already ending the relationship with the person
who' s in the middle of all

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this fuss. I don' t
think this thing you' d want to

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clear up today is what matters,
when what' s out there is pure

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gossip, it just closes your relationship. And rather, ask yourself why something

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as basic and as silly as this
is wanting to take away the dream that

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will not be forgotten that whenever we
are talking about education, your home has

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to be, in addition to a
safe place for your children, it has

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to be a little reproduction of how
you want your child to learn, which

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are the circumstances in the world,
that is, that it is learned by

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consequences, that you have to act
on the basis of responsibility, the ability

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to adapt, to be self-
sufficient and that that process a little more

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controlled, it is the one we
do at home, but that when you

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go out there, what you practiced
at home is what you will carry out

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then abused always with how we are
handling it in ok and well with this

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we arrive at the end of today' s program. We meet here tomorrow

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in more chayo with you, I' m chayo busquets until tomorrow. Audio Centre