WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.800 --> 00:00:06.240 Successful individuals use coaching and mentorship to help them unlock their potential. Not all 2 00:00:06.240 --> 00:00:10.199 coaches are created equal, and that's why we work with the top five percent 3 00:00:10.240 --> 00:00:14.279 of coaches at idemics. Welcome to Coaches you need brought to you by Ideamics. 4 00:00:15.839 --> 00:00:20.519 Welcome to Coaches to Know. These are coaching shorts by Idea Emix Radio. 5 00:00:21.359 --> 00:00:26.160 This is a brief podcast designed to demystify coaching and help you our audience, 6 00:00:26.359 --> 00:00:30.960 understand what coaching is and how it can help you. I'm your host, 7 00:00:31.120 --> 00:00:35.399 Jamie, and today I'm here with coach David and we're going to be 8 00:00:35.439 --> 00:00:43.880 talking about coaching for life transitions. Coach David has nine years of coaching experience. 9 00:00:44.039 --> 00:00:48.719 He has a background in corporate marketing, entrepreneurship, and new and humanitarian 10 00:00:48.799 --> 00:00:56.119 work. And his clients are typically thirty five to sixty five and they've they 11 00:00:56.119 --> 00:01:00.320 normally have identified that something in their life is not working for them and they 12 00:01:00.359 --> 00:01:06.959 want something different. So welcome Coach David, and thank you for joining us 13 00:01:07.000 --> 00:01:12.359 today. Good to be here. Thank you. I appreciate your time and 14 00:01:12.719 --> 00:01:23.120 I hope to communicate what seems like a very obvious topic, life transitions. 15 00:01:23.120 --> 00:01:26.400 We all know what they are, But I hope to sort of drill down 16 00:01:27.000 --> 00:01:34.680 to help people understand today when coaching for through a life transition may be beneficial 17 00:01:34.719 --> 00:01:42.159 for them. So first, let's start by defining what do we mean by 18 00:01:42.280 --> 00:01:49.000 life transitions? Sure, so, most of the people I work with are 19 00:01:49.439 --> 00:01:53.920 people who have identified something going on in their work or their life that just 20 00:01:55.480 --> 00:02:00.920 they have a sense that things are not as satisfy, fine, or as 21 00:02:00.000 --> 00:02:05.920 meaningful or as in balance as they would like their life to be. And 22 00:02:07.480 --> 00:02:13.599 transitions can can come about in many, many different ways. And maybe that 23 00:02:13.719 --> 00:02:19.080 somebody within a job has just lost their ability to grow, or they may 24 00:02:19.120 --> 00:02:27.360 have new leadership that isn't working for them, the company may be changing any 25 00:02:27.439 --> 00:02:31.120 kind of thing like that might lead somebody within a work position to say it's 26 00:02:31.120 --> 00:02:37.159 time for me to make a change. But often, especially when people are 27 00:02:37.199 --> 00:02:40.719 well into their lives and I you said, my clients are thirty five to 28 00:02:40.840 --> 00:02:45.840 sixty five, I sort of define that broadly, as you know, those 29 00:02:45.879 --> 00:02:50.199 middle years where you have a lot of living and work behind you and a 30 00:02:50.240 --> 00:02:53.599 lot of living and work ahead of you. And you know, given how 31 00:02:53.639 --> 00:03:00.039 long we work these days, you know, most people reach points where suddenly 32 00:03:00.080 --> 00:03:06.879 what they thought was right for them is no longer the right fit. And 33 00:03:06.919 --> 00:03:12.479 the challenge when people are in moments like that is it life is super crazy 34 00:03:12.639 --> 00:03:17.599 and intense, especially in those years, and it can be difficult to find 35 00:03:19.199 --> 00:03:24.759 the space, the time, the energy to move into a transition. And 36 00:03:24.800 --> 00:03:30.639 that's often where coaching can be very helpful. But yeah, I mean very 37 00:03:30.680 --> 00:03:36.280 simply. You know, people move into transitions when they're in moments where they 38 00:03:36.280 --> 00:03:40.080 are looking to move towards more of the things that they want or away from 39 00:03:40.120 --> 00:03:46.240 things in their life that they don't want. Thank you for that sort of 40 00:03:46.520 --> 00:03:51.879 definition so that we can be on the same page about what's being discussed today. 41 00:03:52.879 --> 00:04:00.680 There's a lot of interesting nuggets and what you just said help us understand, 42 00:04:00.960 --> 00:04:06.719 David. Are there typically do people have a trigger moment that it's it's 43 00:04:08.479 --> 00:04:10.840 this is working for me, this is working for me, and then suddenly 44 00:04:10.879 --> 00:04:15.439 it's not or is that realization? How does it normally come? Is it 45 00:04:15.599 --> 00:04:20.000 slow? Is it best? Does it depend? It's a great question when 46 00:04:20.079 --> 00:04:26.120 I when I do intake conversations with people, one of the things I'm always 47 00:04:26.120 --> 00:04:30.160 interested in is what what is the trigger moment? I would say that generally 48 00:04:30.160 --> 00:04:35.959 when people are ready to make a change. It has been a slow burn 49 00:04:36.240 --> 00:04:43.680 of things that have been happening that that that without necessarily even recognizing it, 50 00:04:43.759 --> 00:04:48.079 are leading them to be less less content or less less happy with what's going 51 00:04:48.160 --> 00:04:55.519 on. But usually there is a trigger moment. It maybe something something external 52 00:04:55.680 --> 00:05:00.040 like a new boss you know, or like a notable failure, or maybe 53 00:05:00.040 --> 00:05:06.480 a notable success where things suddenly change. And it may be you know, 54 00:05:06.480 --> 00:05:13.519 it may be something internal that happens either a very strong emotional moment. But 55 00:05:13.800 --> 00:05:19.279 usually there is something that happens to somebody in a moment where they decide they 56 00:05:19.279 --> 00:05:26.519 can look back and realize that things have been happening that have been pointing in 57 00:05:26.560 --> 00:05:30.639 the direction of a change. But I rarely meet with somebody who, if 58 00:05:30.680 --> 00:05:36.000 I ask, can't point to the thing that happened that got them into a 59 00:05:36.079 --> 00:05:41.360 moment of thinking, I'm ready for a change and I want I need to 60 00:05:41.360 --> 00:05:46.759 figure out how to make that change. That's very interesting, I always think, 61 00:05:46.800 --> 00:05:51.040 though, even when there is some level of trigger right which generates a 62 00:05:51.040 --> 00:06:03.439 self awareness, there is a gap between awareness and action, and coaching through 63 00:06:03.480 --> 00:06:10.879 life transitions in this way is a way to close that gap between I understand 64 00:06:10.879 --> 00:06:15.000 that I'm happy, or that I need something different, whether it's from my 65 00:06:15.079 --> 00:06:18.160 career, from my life, and I know that I want to get to 66 00:06:18.240 --> 00:06:23.720 something different, but I can't always know what that different thing is that I 67 00:06:23.759 --> 00:06:30.399 want and or how to get there. And I look at life transition coaching 68 00:06:30.480 --> 00:06:43.360 as a way to help clients process through how to get there. And if 69 00:06:43.360 --> 00:06:53.079 you could speak a little bit about how you help your clients get from I 70 00:06:53.160 --> 00:06:58.120 know I need something different to getting something different. Sure, yeah, I 71 00:06:58.160 --> 00:07:02.759 mean typically the moment of recognition is not the moment people delve into work. 72 00:07:02.839 --> 00:07:06.680 A lot of times, I mean I have had I can't tell you how 73 00:07:06.720 --> 00:07:14.720 many people have reached out to explore coaching because they've had that trigger moment and 74 00:07:14.759 --> 00:07:19.560 then decide they're not really ready, get very scared about again. It's you 75 00:07:19.600 --> 00:07:23.120 know, it's a commitment of energy, it's a commitment of time, it's 76 00:07:23.160 --> 00:07:31.199 a commitment of money. But so often after being with that that concern and 77 00:07:31.279 --> 00:07:35.480 having it come up again, people will come back to coaching. You know. 78 00:07:35.720 --> 00:07:41.279 When I'm speaking with somebody who's identified a desire for a transition, what 79 00:07:41.319 --> 00:07:46.759 I want to do is help them get as clear as they can be about 80 00:07:46.800 --> 00:07:53.040 both why they want to change and what they're hoping to change and move towards. 81 00:07:53.600 --> 00:08:01.000 And that's that's really what the discovery process in coaching is all about when 82 00:08:01.240 --> 00:08:05.279 working with people, and I'm you know, what I'll reveal here, Jamie, 83 00:08:05.360 --> 00:08:13.480 is really my approach to helping people get clear on the readiness that they 84 00:08:13.560 --> 00:08:22.560 have for moving into coaching work. I focus with people on three different areas 85 00:08:22.759 --> 00:08:26.959 when they're thinking about transitions, and the first one is really the thing that 86 00:08:28.000 --> 00:08:33.200 you're talking about here, which is what I broadly call focus. And in 87 00:08:33.600 --> 00:08:39.080 the workaround focus, we're trying to get as clear as we can around what 88 00:08:39.120 --> 00:08:43.480 the things are that we are looking to have more of in our life. 89 00:08:43.080 --> 00:08:50.039 Whether that's balanced, whether that's more money, whether it's a different group of 90 00:08:50.039 --> 00:08:54.799 people to be working with, whether it's a higher level of impact. There 91 00:08:54.840 --> 00:08:58.679 are many different things that make up, you know, a life and make 92 00:08:58.759 --> 00:09:03.720 up if it's a professional realm, what makes for a good work environment. 93 00:09:05.039 --> 00:09:09.679 But in those moments where somebody has said I'm ready for a change, I'm 94 00:09:09.679 --> 00:09:15.559 ready. I feel like a transition is coming. The first order of business 95 00:09:15.720 --> 00:09:22.679 is getting some formula of like what better looks like, And that's what I 96 00:09:22.720 --> 00:09:30.840 call focus. The work of getting getting focused is looking at a few different 97 00:09:30.879 --> 00:09:35.399 things. One, you want to look back at your work history, or 98 00:09:35.440 --> 00:09:39.200 you know, if it's not work related. Most of my clients are coming 99 00:09:39.240 --> 00:09:45.159 in with professional transition desires to begin with. But you want to look at 100 00:09:45.159 --> 00:09:50.799 the your history to see what kind of things in your work history have been 101 00:09:50.320 --> 00:09:54.559 peak moments, what kinds of things have elevated you, what kind of things 102 00:09:54.879 --> 00:10:01.600 pull your energy down, and how you've made decisions going from one thing to 103 00:10:01.639 --> 00:10:05.360 the next, and how those decisions have worked out for you. That's the 104 00:10:05.559 --> 00:10:11.720 looking backwards. In terms of looking forward, you know, this is where 105 00:10:11.120 --> 00:10:18.679 one's interest, one's values, one's experience that it become really important, and 106 00:10:18.759 --> 00:10:24.799 that is you know, some of that stuff is structured work. But the 107 00:10:24.879 --> 00:10:28.200 goal of all of this examination is to try to help somebody get to a 108 00:10:28.240 --> 00:10:35.759 point where they can identify some vision of focus from moving forward. One of 109 00:10:35.799 --> 00:10:41.799 my favorite phrases is where we focus is where we go. And without some 110 00:10:43.519 --> 00:10:48.159 willingness to put at least an initial stake in the ground of what we think 111 00:10:48.159 --> 00:10:54.919 we're transitioning towards, it's very hard to even move into that. And maybe 112 00:10:54.960 --> 00:11:00.320 I'll stop there. That's that's the first work I do with people to kind 113 00:11:00.360 --> 00:11:07.440 of get them ready to move forward and to sort of tap into the energy 114 00:11:07.480 --> 00:11:11.399 that makes the idea of a transition exciting, because when somebody can start to 115 00:11:11.559 --> 00:11:18.159 articulate that, there becomes much more momentum about moving into the work. That's 116 00:11:18.639 --> 00:11:24.240 that's very interesting. It's it's I think of it as a tea up process. 117 00:11:26.879 --> 00:11:30.399 I really like what you said too. Where we focus is where we 118 00:11:30.759 --> 00:11:37.679 go, which I think is quite key and you know a strong theme and 119 00:11:37.720 --> 00:11:46.360 what coaching is, it's helping people with forward looking to be forward looking, 120 00:11:46.600 --> 00:11:50.720 to draw that life vision or a vision for your career or whatever it is, 121 00:11:50.919 --> 00:11:58.120 and move towards it. So it's all about moving forward, which which 122 00:11:58.240 --> 00:12:05.320 I think is very powerful full experience for people. Yeah, one of the 123 00:12:05.360 --> 00:12:09.759 things that you said is you talked about I mean the process of examination. 124 00:12:11.600 --> 00:12:16.799 I imagine it's the length of that is unique for everyone. But how long 125 00:12:16.840 --> 00:12:22.000 does that normally take for people to get here on a vision? Yeah, 126 00:12:22.279 --> 00:12:28.759 it can be surprisingly quick. Typically, I will start by asking people a 127 00:12:28.799 --> 00:12:33.639 bunch of how people write about a bunch of questions that are allowed them to 128 00:12:33.679 --> 00:12:39.879 reflect on their their their past, allow them to reflect on their identity, 129 00:12:39.120 --> 00:12:48.759 their strengths, their challenges, so that very quickly they're they're exploring the terrain 130 00:12:48.799 --> 00:12:54.639 that they find themselves in. And then we move into some straightforward exercises around 131 00:12:54.519 --> 00:13:01.840 uh, you know, starting to break out what it is that really matters 132 00:13:01.080 --> 00:13:05.840 to people. And the thing is, when somebody is identified, it's time 133 00:13:05.879 --> 00:13:09.759 for a change. The answers to what they want more of or less of 134 00:13:11.519 --> 00:13:18.039 are usually pretty easy for people to figure out, and in thinking about it 135 00:13:18.080 --> 00:13:24.320 and stepping into that work, it's really it becomes pretty easy for someone to 136 00:13:24.759 --> 00:13:28.519 realize what they've been very excited about and what it is that's holding them, 137 00:13:28.639 --> 00:13:33.759 you know, holding them down, draining them. And I would say, 138 00:13:33.879 --> 00:13:37.720 you know, usually within you know, three or four sessions, we begin 139 00:13:37.840 --> 00:13:46.600 to get clearer on on a focus to define the transition moving forward. That 140 00:13:46.600 --> 00:13:52.879 that focus can shift and change and does as we move into the actual work 141 00:13:52.919 --> 00:14:00.320 of exploration, but it gives us a great place to start. So it 142 00:14:00.399 --> 00:14:05.559 sounds like the process is quite iterative in a way. You can focus, 143 00:14:05.679 --> 00:14:11.600 but then as you continue your work may adjust, may change, And once 144 00:14:11.600 --> 00:14:18.320 you've defined the focus, where do you go next with your clients? Typically 145 00:14:18.320 --> 00:14:22.000 the next place we go is to what I broadly will call story. And 146 00:14:22.159 --> 00:14:28.720 this is this is one of the most important parts of moving into a transition 147 00:14:28.960 --> 00:14:35.000 because we all, we all, all of us carry our story in one 148 00:14:35.039 --> 00:14:39.600 way or another. And the reality is we can all tell our story in 149 00:14:39.639 --> 00:14:43.120 many, many different ways. I could tell you about my thirty year career 150 00:14:43.639 --> 00:14:48.840 prior to becoming a coach, and you would swear that I have led the 151 00:14:48.840 --> 00:14:52.320 most interesting life of anyone you've ever met. And I could tell you the 152 00:14:52.360 --> 00:14:56.320 story focused on all the challenges I've faced and you would be like, wow, 153 00:14:56.360 --> 00:15:00.000 I don't know how you made it through that. And so when we're 154 00:15:00.120 --> 00:15:05.480 making transitions, you know, with some kind of defined focus, the next 155 00:15:05.720 --> 00:15:09.600 order of business is to figure out how we tell a story that connects the 156 00:15:09.720 --> 00:15:16.399 journey we've been on to that place we're trying to get to. And there's 157 00:15:16.080 --> 00:15:20.320 that story needs to be told in a lot of places. It's told in 158 00:15:20.440 --> 00:15:26.840 very structured places like our resume or bio or LinkedIn profile. You know where 159 00:15:26.840 --> 00:15:31.519 there are. You know, there are tricks of the trade that are important 160 00:15:31.559 --> 00:15:37.039 to understand, but I find in making change, the most important thing is 161 00:15:37.440 --> 00:15:46.600 how we understand and feel and embody our story and how we can confidently tell 162 00:15:46.679 --> 00:15:50.240 it to other people so that they can do what we want them to do, 163 00:15:50.279 --> 00:15:56.600 which is help us move towards that transition. But this is such a 164 00:15:56.759 --> 00:16:03.759 huge part of transition work is being able to see yourself and see your story 165 00:16:03.440 --> 00:16:07.559 in the place that you're trying to get to. I often will say that, 166 00:16:07.600 --> 00:16:12.360 you know, a goal is a place that we come from. You 167 00:16:12.360 --> 00:16:15.360 know, we think of a goal as a place we're going to, But 168 00:16:15.480 --> 00:16:21.440 really, in making transition, we as much as possible, we want to 169 00:16:21.480 --> 00:16:26.480 be embodying that person who has already made the change. We want to be 170 00:16:26.559 --> 00:16:30.519 living that and then we're moving into it. It makes moving into it so 171 00:16:30.600 --> 00:16:38.960 much easier, and crafting a story in your own words helps you become that 172 00:16:40.240 --> 00:16:45.480 change. Yeah, we then have a thing to be living into and it's 173 00:16:45.639 --> 00:16:49.279 you know, the trick to that is finding the story that really resonates. 174 00:16:49.360 --> 00:16:55.080 You know, it's not about making up a story. It's about choosing the 175 00:16:55.120 --> 00:16:59.399 story that we want to tell about where we are and where we're trying to 176 00:16:59.440 --> 00:17:06.279 go. For people, I would say people like myself who are very literal 177 00:17:06.400 --> 00:17:11.039 and factual based, I've always found, you know, stretching and living that 178 00:17:11.400 --> 00:17:15.240 who I want to be has been a challenge in my life for sure, 179 00:17:15.640 --> 00:17:19.920 because it feels dishonest in a way, but it is a part of the 180 00:17:21.000 --> 00:17:25.519 process. And going back to what you said, where we focus is where 181 00:17:25.559 --> 00:17:27.880 we go, and so if you focus on being what you want to be, 182 00:17:29.720 --> 00:17:33.559 then you will go there and you will be there absolutely. I mean, 183 00:17:33.640 --> 00:17:37.519 it's really interesting. I was an entrepreneur for ten years. I created 184 00:17:37.559 --> 00:17:44.000 a travel publication and it was an incredible journey. It was It was ten 185 00:17:44.079 --> 00:17:48.440 of the most thrilling years of my life. It had ended with a very 186 00:17:48.519 --> 00:17:55.599 fortunate sale of the business. But during those ten years, there were many 187 00:17:55.720 --> 00:18:03.000 moments where all I focused on was concerns about money or concerns about staffing, 188 00:18:03.279 --> 00:18:08.960 and lost my focus on the excitement of running a travel business or doing my 189 00:18:10.000 --> 00:18:14.000 own thing. And so in every day and in every moment, we get 190 00:18:14.039 --> 00:18:18.839 to choose where we put our focus. So, you know, I totally 191 00:18:18.519 --> 00:18:22.480 get your comment about you. None of us want to feel like we're putting 192 00:18:22.480 --> 00:18:26.519 on an act. But the reality is, you know, there are so 193 00:18:26.559 --> 00:18:33.680 many different ways to tell our story, and it's really important to be thoughtful 194 00:18:33.720 --> 00:18:41.240 about that as because we we want to inspire others with our story and with 195 00:18:41.359 --> 00:18:49.240 our desires. That's that's really the selling part of making a transition. Yeah, 196 00:18:49.359 --> 00:18:53.799 yeah, no, totally agree, totally agree. Um, we are 197 00:18:55.319 --> 00:18:59.039 sort of running close to time, if not over time. But I just 198 00:18:59.160 --> 00:19:04.559 want you to touch upon the third step happens when people work, when clients 199 00:19:04.599 --> 00:19:08.279 work with you. Yeah, as it's what I was referring to. I 200 00:19:08.359 --> 00:19:15.480 broadly call the third step after focus and story social, and that is bringing 201 00:19:15.519 --> 00:19:21.039 your story into the world. We don't make transitions by ourselves because we don't 202 00:19:21.039 --> 00:19:26.000 live in a universe of just ourselves. So when we tell our story, 203 00:19:26.319 --> 00:19:30.640 we're typically trying to do three things. We're trying to get better at telling 204 00:19:30.680 --> 00:19:34.960 our story, and that happens when we get to see it reflected and see 205 00:19:36.000 --> 00:19:41.279 what other people are reacting to. We learn in the process, especially if 206 00:19:41.319 --> 00:19:47.599 you're looking for a new job or something else, you're using your story to 207 00:19:49.079 --> 00:19:53.400 find out more about the realm of the person you're talking to, and we 208 00:19:53.480 --> 00:20:00.240 expand our network. So moving our story into the world is really where the 209 00:20:00.279 --> 00:20:03.880 rubber meets the road and making change. It's the most exciting thing. It's 210 00:20:03.880 --> 00:20:08.559 a lot easier for an extrovert, which I am and for some introverts. 211 00:20:08.640 --> 00:20:15.039 But this is why the practice of telling our story is so important. And 212 00:20:15.480 --> 00:20:19.240 before you know what, we're living into it and the transitions that we're hoping 213 00:20:19.279 --> 00:20:25.559 to make are where where we're focusing and what we end up manifesting. And 214 00:20:25.640 --> 00:20:32.759 I see this happen over and over. I'm that positive note. Coach David, 215 00:20:32.799 --> 00:20:36.599 I want to thank you for your time today, thank you for walking 216 00:20:36.680 --> 00:20:44.759 us through coaching through life transition, and maybe we should have you back to 217 00:20:44.799 --> 00:20:51.279 do something on entrepreneurship at another time. I'd love that. Thank you so 218 00:20:51.400 --> 00:20:57.759 much, Take care, Thanks for listening. Please subscribe wherever you listen and 219 00:20:57.839 --> 00:21:03.920 leave us a review. Find your ideal coach at www dot vidmx dot com. 220 00:21:04.039 --> 00:21:07.920 Special thanks to our producer Martin Maluski and singer songwriter Doug Allen.