You're listening to the downbeat. Ninety seven won the freak. It's that time
of year, to spread that holiday year. We'll drink a bunch of beer.
Then the whole family will get out of here. But someone just went
to the bathroom. They've been there for a while. I'm detecting a pungent
odor, and I didn't replace the plunger this time. So Benjamin Franklin Palmer,
can you come in save the day? You're the puncherable Palmer. I'm
sorry that I called you on a holiday. And then a stars to rise
head. It keeps on flowing in the families inside. Because the wind is
flowing in, a line starts to form in the hall. Then I'm regretting
that I even hosted Christmas at all. But then the doorbell rightlidays ever dying
down beating? Why are you talking over this? He's a starter, not
setting the stream along. So now everybody can see, hey, hey what
do you say right on time? Lecucine us say hey, hey, what
are your safe? Right on time? Lequctin us say hey, hey what
do you say right on time? Lettrist say hey, hey what do you
say right on time? Let christy us say you said money to take Valentine
for that delivery style just for him, the most electric song ever. Let's
cut through it there. Yeah, it was fun to do the downbeat singing
tree topper, which I'm told sold out within a couple of weeks. Hopefully
we broke even from that Halloween debacle. I've handled the accounting on that.
I've slid into a fund investing. Yes, you've been a sludge fund.
You're reinvesting in Valentine's Day. Yes, it's singing box of chocolates. Yeah,
great, you know it's hard work and efforts and comedic genius like that.
Uh that Mikey and I recognize. I think JJ as well. We
all recognize it. And we wanted to kind of like we're gonna do a
little gift give our gift exchange at nine o'clock. But Kevin, because of
stuff like that and just we f and love you, bro, we wanted
to go ahead and kind of break the seal and let you have a bonus
surprise present. This is for you, This is just for me and Mikey.
This is special and we wanted to give this to you now. And
before we get to the actual gift exchange, the downbe gift exchange, which
occurs here in about twenty the extra fun time. We want you to have
this, Kevin. This is important there and uh, if it weren't for
you, we wouldn't be here. Man. I like this speakeasy wrapping paper.
It's special like you, Jeff, Julian and grooves. Yeah, I
don't like getting extra presents. It's a big present. It's a heavy present.
He's uh opening it up. Got the you're just right here there?
Really? Ken? Yeah? Oh my god? What'd you get? Eight
potatoes? Yes, I'm so happy? Who said Santa's not real? Dude?
It's the number one food. This is the best day and this Christmas
ever. Kevin asked the question what if all the potatoes could be mine?
And Mikey and I answer they can? They can? They are eight potatoes.
I'm gonna bake four of them and the other forum's gonna slice up into
fries. There you go, Merry Christmas, Kevin, the greatest day ever?
How about that? I'm gonna put these next to those beans. Kevin.
Yeah, dude, you know, a full meal of food before you
know it? Thanks guyst While we're talking pizza this, I'm sorry we're talking
Food. This segment is brought to you by Andrew's American Pizza Kitchen. All
right, okay, makes some sense. Andrew's American Pizza Kitchen brings us the
segment. I'm gonna let Danny read you the copy points. Now they would
be our food of the Year, but they're not officially. I will reveal
in a second after Danny finishes the Andrews American Pizza Kitchen ad read, man,
I think you nailed it. Andrew's American Pizza Kitchen Preston Plaino Parkway the
best pizza in North Texas. Uh. The Washington Post has reported this.
Thending News has reported this, and guess what more importantly, the freak every
damn one of us has been there multiple times and we love to eat it
and you will too. Fantastic, fantastic, so good. Give the gift
on Christmas Day, the gift of Gift double a p K now each year,
and I'm sorry I interrupted your sweet rime. Fine each year at the
end of the year, I want to do the downbeat food of the year.
Okay, and today I've went ahead and ordered some I see it,
so drum roll please, It's Boba t Oh The downbeat food of the Year
for twenty twenty three is Boba Tay. I introduced raspberry. What is it
either mango or raspberry. Yeah, I'll choose raspberry if given the choice.
I love mango. Yeah. Yeah. It's good for your tea. Yeah
no, no, no, nope, center is good for your tea.
Boba tea, the very sugary drink with the occasional loogi glob in the latinous
blob in the bottom. Since I did not introduce you, but we did
a segment about it, We're talking a little Boba t in the revolution in
the food court, Yes, the new segment food Court, Yeah, which
we'll be making a triumphant return in January. But Kevin, you've been on
a bit of a Boba t kick. It changed your world, huh.
I was introduced to it. I mean I knew what it was, but
I didn't know it was something I would, you know, like, And
then I tried it, and you know, that segment ended with such a
great joke too, that I just felt like that's a part of it.
And I feel like every year the food Court food candidates should be added as
nominees and then we'll select a downbeat. Food of the year absolutely. Twenty
twenty three's food of the Year is Boba t And I've got, you know,
a commission in our artist friends working on a big Boba te painting with
us standing on the cover. There's a lot of beads in this one.
Yeah, no, I thought, yeah, I didn't know. I get
this from Fat straw that's really good. Thank you, Kevin with that potatoes
Boba tea. I did you got Boba t JJ strawberry strawberry. That's really
sweet man, Thank you. Hey, before we play these Christmas songs,
I saw us real quick, and let's see if you think you could do
this, Mike, Okay, there's a guy named Ronnie. Only Ronnie could
do this. He golfed eighteen holes, had eighteen hot dogs and eighteen beers
in one round, a dog and a beer at each hole. No,
I could could you do it? Hell no? And then spread out over
four hours. Though it's not like a fast I understand how long golf takes.
Joe Chestnut, I've played around. I'm not eating eighteen hot dogs in
a day. What would be the bigger feet, Yeah, that's a great
question. Dog or the beer. Probably the dog I think so I could.
I mean, I don't. I couldn't do eighteen beers in four hours.
But we're talking super light beers. Oh my god, I mean that's
at guy's kind of shaped like you. Man. Oh really, it looks
like Travis Kelsey. He's six' two, he's got an athletic build.
Yeah. He's wearing denim jeans, which you love. You love golfing and
jeans. You do wear my jeans out there every chance, I guess,
wearing a hard hat. Really, I can get you nine beers. How
about nine beers nine dogs in eighteen holes. Let's be realistic. I'm not
going for Guinness World record. That's stupid. You're not gonna feel like playing
the back nine if you've had nine dogs and nine beers. I'm saying,
but there's a chance. Yeah, No, I mean over eighteen over the
course of eighteen Okay, yeah, I think nine beers over eighteen is that's
pretty much easy. It's the heart attack you're worried about. It's the hot
dogs. Yeah, it's the hot dogs. Because you can do two dogs
and a beer on the first tee. You're not gonna want seven more hot
dogs, much less sixteen no, yeah, we've eliminated that. Man.
This guy did that, put it online and now he's got a million followers.
People love he's doing cool bits. We did the beer mile once and
I struggled with it, but I was also battling a stomach bug, so
it was tough. But we did the beer mile and got in trouble at
an old station for doing that, which is where you run a mile,
but you chug a beer after each lap, like four laps in a mile,
okay, so after each lap you chug a beer and uh, one
of them. One of our teammates at the time was trying to, you
know, we get in trouble with the church, so he did milk.
There's the milk Miile for him, which sounds tougher, honestly, thicker than
the beer. No, hydrates better than the water. Well, your voice
was literally a Boba tea bubble in my mouth. That doesn't count on my
permanent record. But man, that's crazy. I mean, well, never
mind, Fanny has something for us. Yeah, yeah, something I want.
Get this quick little list that I came up with. It's a fun
game and you guys can all play. It's take like two minutes maybe more.
All right, So officially I've had one vacation day, all right,
Today would be the second. But I'm here hanging out with you, guys
and lady. I have a thing that I'm going to present you. You
will have two options. Okay. These are things that I have done since
my vacation started at ten am on Friday of last week and just three days.
Five of these things have happened. Five of them are fiction. It's
up to you, guys to decide which one is something that I did or
happened to me in the three days since I've been off and which one is
false. Are you gonna give us two of them? Yeah? Yeah,
yeah, Yeah, I'm gonna go. I'm gonna give you two options,
and you get to pick which one actually happened and then tell me which one
is one that was made up? Okay, okay, Kevin, are you
ready? Now? Look, these are hard, so you're gonna have to
pay close attention. There's a nuance in here. But I promise you one
of these two things happened. Which one is it? Is it? A?
Did? I attend the Hustler magazine Christmas party at the Indigo Hotel and
I partied until three a m. With Evan Stone and Tara Patrick before being
invited to a private suite which involved a threesome with Drew Pearson. In sixty
minutes own Leslie Stall. Okay, b I took Malcolm to Benny Hannah for
a Christmas dinner tradition with his mom and had to get our food to go
because he was so fussy. See, we couldn't stay, only to find
out that when we got home he had one hundred and two degree fever.
This would also mark the second year in a row that we had to get
our food to go from Bennie Hannah Christmas dinner because of a cranky baby.
I remember last year's in Hanna situation, and that's what makes me lean toward
the Beny Hanna thing. But one I did hear some whispers that Evanstone was
in town this weekend? Huh he was? Whispers he was? Who whis
was? I was trying to get him on the show. Who he was?
Okay, what do you guys think? Porn con did I go to
the Christmas Hustler magazine party at the Indigo Hotel have to leave in the middle
of a flaming four course meal at Bennie Hanna because my baby had a fever.
I'm gonna go ahead and tell you a couple of context. Was Evanstone
in town. Leslie Stall has family here in town, so she used here
for the holiday. Yeah, a little hot pepper. Danny's is very comfortable
coming up here in pajamas. I think he's comfortable slang in that wood.
So I'm gonna say that he went to the Hustler Christmas party at the end
of Go Hotel and had a threesome with a sixty minutes reporter. Wow,
Mikey, I think that sounds like a crazy Outlander story. I'm gonna go
with bee that bring your child to Benny Hannah and he did not go.
Well. Yeah, that's hard though, Mikey, you actually won. Yeah,
Kevin, you were way off. Felt too easy. None of that
happened, felt too easy. All right, Let's go to uh Choices is
number two A. I went to the second night of the Polyphonic Spree Christmas
show at the Majestic, and I was invited on stage by lead singer Tim
de Latter to play and advanced cello solo on their hit Light and Day.
Upon receiving a standing ovation, from a sold out, teary eyed crowd.
I was carried off stage to an exclusive green room to hang out with supermodel
Emily Radikowski before I was begged back to the stage by the band to perform
a set of solo material as the crowd would not stop booing the Spree after
my initial exit. Wow, because they didn't want to hear any more from
them. Huh huh, bring the cello guy back. This was Saturday night?
Or on Saturday night? Did I do this? Watch my almost three
year old run full speed down my hallway and superman himself over a bean bag,
where he ended up landing face first on the hardwood floor, suffering a
massive contusion on his chin, resulting in a deafening crying spell that lasted almost
fifteen minutes. Okay, so I was at the Polyphonic Spree concert Saturday night
and I ran into old friends Dave Lane, I saw, I saw Grooves
and Darcy Ye many others. I didn't see Danny and I definitely didn't see
him go on stage. Yeah, there's a reason for that, because be
Malcolm b is what happened. Yes, my kid almost got a concussion by
running full speed and Superman flying over this huge bean bag and went face first
into the ground. But no stitches. No, it almost broke the skin
open on his chin. But dude, that was that was a big night
Saturday. I thought you were going to say that you did all that stuff
on the Friday night first show of the Polyponic spree? Did you go to
that one? That was the trick? Clearly made that up on Sunday?
Which one did I do? Which one happened to me? On my vacation?
I flew first class to Buffalo on Sunday to see the Cowboys face the
Bills and found my way down onto the field on the sidelines, where I
was invited by assistant tight ends coach Chase Hazlitt into the medical ten for halftime
tequila shots. Somebody had a leftover coach reference that didn't use on the Hot
Pepper pavilion, but they needed to go ahead and burn case Hazlet, which
is the son of Jim Haslet shots McCarthy's barn dum or did this happen?
I fell asleep in bed with with Malki, only to wake up at three
am in a warm puddle of toddler p as a result of a blown out
diaper. He really blew. He busted through one. I think his dingling
like went out the side and he didn't, so the diaper was unable to
soak up the tea. So yeah, and you woke up to the soaked
mattress. What do you do with soak mattress? Get rid of It's time
to get a new one. It's time to get a new one. All
right. If you're selling mattresses, call the iHeart. And I think that's
obvious that this one is be because if you remember at halftime at the Cowboys
Bills game, the uh the medical tent was occupied, so I wouldn't have
been able to get in there. Yeah, that's what gives that one away.
Yeah for sure. All right. Number four, did I a win
twenty five thousand dollars on a scratch off ticket? Or b spend three hundred
and thirty eight dollars at Old Navy in Mesquite on size four T winter clothes.
Okay, so we had the local story of the scratch off ticket that
won a million dollars. I didn't see one reported for twenty five thousand dollars.
But you do seem like you would be more of a oshkosh pagash guy
rather than old Navy for the kid. Wait size four? T h Yeah,
he's two and he's two. He's like, he's yeah, he's twice
the size of it, damn it. But he can still squeeze into a
three. Hope you kept your receipt. I'll say that you're a youth extra
small. Oh that's fine. Okay, I'll say that you're in the red
here. Okay, I'm definitely in the red. Did you play a scratch
off ticket this weekend? Non't? I've never. I haven't done that in
thirty years, Mike till today? All right? Last one? He enjoyed
a twelve course tasting menu at Carte Blanche made personally by dear friend and renowned
chef Casey LaRue, which included French onion soup with local green Air cheese and
fresh thyme, and a duck confee served with Texas peaches and roasted pistachios or
you deserve. I had the three finger combo at Cane's Chicken Fingers with my
son and had to console him when we were told they were sold out of
posty cups. Which one actually happened? Did you say that you took Malcolm
to that first thing. No, No, that was me and Emily from
a Spree show only because the theme. I'm gonna go with the Malcolm one
again. Guys. You guys are really good at this game. Really enjoy
on your vacation. All answers are be and I'm three days in two weeks
here welcome, just loving it. Daddy Dinger, big old blue blue spot
on his chin. No wonder you gave up and were sweatpants up here.
Totally pajamas, bro. You know what sounds like Danny needs a couple of
your potatoes, Kevin. Yeah, I'll give you a couple of potatoes.
Potatoes. You'll be all right with a six pack for Christmas. Absolutely okay,
and he'll be all right absolutely okay. Well that was awesome. No
wonder you came back to work for a couple of days. He can get
away for a minute. Okay. We're gonna hear incredible songs from football Steve
one from Christina to get you in the Christmas mood, plus our holiday gift
exchange. Next on ninety seven won the Freak