WEBVTT

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You're listening to the downbeat. Ninety
seven won the freak. It's that time

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of year, to spread that holiday
year. We'll drink a bunch of beer.

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Then the whole family will get out
of here. But someone just went

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to the bathroom. They've been there
for a while. I'm detecting a pungent

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odor, and I didn't replace the
plunger this time. So Benjamin Franklin Palmer,

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can you come in save the day? You're the puncherable Palmer. I'm

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sorry that I called you on a
holiday. And then a stars to rise

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head. It keeps on flowing in
the families inside. Because the wind is

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flowing in, a line starts to
form in the hall. Then I'm regretting

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that I even hosted Christmas at all. But then the doorbell rightlidays ever dying

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down beating? Why are you talking
over this? He's a starter, not

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setting the stream along. So now
everybody can see, hey, hey what

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do you say right on time?
Lecucine us say hey, hey, what

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are your safe? Right on time? Lequctin us say hey, hey what

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do you say right on time?
Lettrist say hey, hey what do you

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say right on time? Let christy
us say you said money to take Valentine

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for that delivery style just for him, the most electric song ever. Let's

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cut through it there. Yeah,
it was fun to do the downbeat singing

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tree topper, which I'm told sold
out within a couple of weeks. Hopefully

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we broke even from that Halloween debacle. I've handled the accounting on that.

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I've slid into a fund investing.
Yes, you've been a sludge fund.

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You're reinvesting in Valentine's Day. Yes, it's singing box of chocolates. Yeah,

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great, you know it's hard work
and efforts and comedic genius like that.

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Uh that Mikey and I recognize.
I think JJ as well. We

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all recognize it. And we wanted
to kind of like we're gonna do a

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little gift give our gift exchange at
nine o'clock. But Kevin, because of

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stuff like that and just we f
and love you, bro, we wanted

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to go ahead and kind of break
the seal and let you have a bonus

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surprise present. This is for you, This is just for me and Mikey.

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This is special and we wanted to
give this to you now. And

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before we get to the actual gift
exchange, the downbe gift exchange, which

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occurs here in about twenty the extra
fun time. We want you to have

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this, Kevin. This is important
there and uh, if it weren't for

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you, we wouldn't be here.
Man. I like this speakeasy wrapping paper.

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It's special like you, Jeff,
Julian and grooves. Yeah, I

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don't like getting extra presents. It's
a big present. It's a heavy present.

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He's uh opening it up. Got
the you're just right here there?

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Really? Ken? Yeah? Oh
my god? What'd you get? Eight

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potatoes? Yes, I'm so happy? Who said Santa's not real? Dude?

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It's the number one food. This
is the best day and this Christmas

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ever. Kevin asked the question what
if all the potatoes could be mine?

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And Mikey and I answer they can? They can? They are eight potatoes.

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I'm gonna bake four of them and
the other forum's gonna slice up into

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fries. There you go, Merry
Christmas, Kevin, the greatest day ever?

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How about that? I'm gonna put
these next to those beans. Kevin.

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Yeah, dude, you know,
a full meal of food before you

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know it? Thanks guyst While we're
talking pizza this, I'm sorry we're talking

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Food. This segment is brought to
you by Andrew's American Pizza Kitchen. All

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right, okay, makes some sense. Andrew's American Pizza Kitchen brings us the

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segment. I'm gonna let Danny read
you the copy points. Now they would

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be our food of the Year,
but they're not officially. I will reveal

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in a second after Danny finishes the
Andrews American Pizza Kitchen ad read, man,

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I think you nailed it. Andrew's
American Pizza Kitchen Preston Plaino Parkway the

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best pizza in North Texas. Uh. The Washington Post has reported this.

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Thending News has reported this, and
guess what more importantly, the freak every

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damn one of us has been there
multiple times and we love to eat it

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and you will too. Fantastic,
fantastic, so good. Give the gift

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on Christmas Day, the gift of
Gift double a p K now each year,

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and I'm sorry I interrupted your sweet
rime. Fine each year at the

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end of the year, I want
to do the downbeat food of the year.

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Okay, and today I've went ahead
and ordered some I see it,

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so drum roll please, It's Boba
t Oh The downbeat food of the Year

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for twenty twenty three is Boba Tay. I introduced raspberry. What is it

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either mango or raspberry. Yeah,
I'll choose raspberry if given the choice.

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I love mango. Yeah. Yeah. It's good for your tea. Yeah

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no, no, no, nope, center is good for your tea.

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Boba tea, the very sugary drink
with the occasional loogi glob in the latinous

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blob in the bottom. Since I
did not introduce you, but we did

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a segment about it, We're talking
a little Boba t in the revolution in

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the food court, Yes, the
new segment food Court, Yeah, which

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we'll be making a triumphant return in
January. But Kevin, you've been on

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a bit of a Boba t kick. It changed your world, huh.

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I was introduced to it. I
mean I knew what it was, but

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I didn't know it was something I
would, you know, like, And

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then I tried it, and you
know, that segment ended with such a

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great joke too, that I just
felt like that's a part of it.

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And I feel like every year the
food Court food candidates should be added as

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nominees and then we'll select a downbeat. Food of the year absolutely. Twenty

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twenty three's food of the Year is
Boba t And I've got, you know,

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a commission in our artist friends working
on a big Boba te painting with

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us standing on the cover. There's
a lot of beads in this one.

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Yeah, no, I thought,
yeah, I didn't know. I get

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this from Fat straw that's really good. Thank you, Kevin with that potatoes

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Boba tea. I did you got
Boba t JJ strawberry strawberry. That's really

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sweet man, Thank you. Hey, before we play these Christmas songs,

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I saw us real quick, and
let's see if you think you could do

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this, Mike, Okay, there's
a guy named Ronnie. Only Ronnie could

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do this. He golfed eighteen holes, had eighteen hot dogs and eighteen beers

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in one round, a dog and
a beer at each hole. No,

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I could could you do it?
Hell no? And then spread out over

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four hours. Though it's not like
a fast I understand how long golf takes.

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Joe Chestnut, I've played around.
I'm not eating eighteen hot dogs in

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a day. What would be the
bigger feet, Yeah, that's a great

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question. Dog or the beer.
Probably the dog I think so I could.

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I mean, I don't. I
couldn't do eighteen beers in four hours.

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But we're talking super light beers.
Oh my god, I mean that's

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at guy's kind of shaped like you. Man. Oh really, it looks

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like Travis Kelsey. He's six'
two, he's got an athletic build.

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Yeah. He's wearing denim jeans,
which you love. You love golfing and

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jeans. You do wear my jeans
out there every chance, I guess,

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wearing a hard hat. Really,
I can get you nine beers. How

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about nine beers nine dogs in eighteen
holes. Let's be realistic. I'm not

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going for Guinness World record. That's
stupid. You're not gonna feel like playing

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the back nine if you've had nine
dogs and nine beers. I'm saying,

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but there's a chance. Yeah,
No, I mean over eighteen over the

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course of eighteen Okay, yeah,
I think nine beers over eighteen is that's

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pretty much easy. It's the heart
attack you're worried about. It's the hot

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dogs. Yeah, it's the hot
dogs. Because you can do two dogs

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and a beer on the first tee. You're not gonna want seven more hot

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dogs, much less sixteen no,
yeah, we've eliminated that. Man.

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This guy did that, put it
online and now he's got a million followers.

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People love he's doing cool bits.
We did the beer mile once and

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I struggled with it, but I
was also battling a stomach bug, so

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it was tough. But we did
the beer mile and got in trouble at

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an old station for doing that,
which is where you run a mile,

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but you chug a beer after each
lap, like four laps in a mile,

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okay, so after each lap you
chug a beer and uh, one

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of them. One of our teammates
at the time was trying to, you

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know, we get in trouble with
the church, so he did milk.

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There's the milk Miile for him,
which sounds tougher, honestly, thicker than

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the beer. No, hydrates better
than the water. Well, your voice

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was literally a Boba tea bubble in
my mouth. That doesn't count on my

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permanent record. But man, that's
crazy. I mean, well, never

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mind, Fanny has something for us. Yeah, yeah, something I want.

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Get this quick little list that I
came up with. It's a fun

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game and you guys can all play. It's take like two minutes maybe more.

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All right, So officially I've had
one vacation day, all right,

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Today would be the second. But
I'm here hanging out with you, guys

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and lady. I have a thing
that I'm going to present you. You

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will have two options. Okay.
These are things that I have done since

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my vacation started at ten am on
Friday of last week and just three days.

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Five of these things have happened.
Five of them are fiction. It's

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up to you, guys to decide
which one is something that I did or

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happened to me in the three days
since I've been off and which one is

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false. Are you gonna give us
two of them? Yeah? Yeah,

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yeah, Yeah, I'm gonna go. I'm gonna give you two options,

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and you get to pick which one
actually happened and then tell me which one

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is one that was made up?
Okay, okay, Kevin, are you

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ready? Now? Look, these
are hard, so you're gonna have to

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pay close attention. There's a nuance
in here. But I promise you one

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of these two things happened. Which
one is it? Is it? A?

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Did? I attend the Hustler magazine
Christmas party at the Indigo Hotel and

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I partied until three a m.
With Evan Stone and Tara Patrick before being

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invited to a private suite which involved
a threesome with Drew Pearson. In sixty

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minutes own Leslie Stall. Okay,
b I took Malcolm to Benny Hannah for

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a Christmas dinner tradition with his mom
and had to get our food to go

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because he was so fussy. See, we couldn't stay, only to find

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out that when we got home he
had one hundred and two degree fever.

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This would also mark the second year
in a row that we had to get

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our food to go from Bennie Hannah
Christmas dinner because of a cranky baby.

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I remember last year's in Hanna situation, and that's what makes me lean toward

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the Beny Hanna thing. But one
I did hear some whispers that Evanstone was

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in town this weekend? Huh he
was? Whispers he was? Who whis

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was? I was trying to get
him on the show. Who he was?

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Okay, what do you guys think? Porn con did I go to

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the Christmas Hustler magazine party at the
Indigo Hotel have to leave in the middle

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of a flaming four course meal at
Bennie Hanna because my baby had a fever.

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I'm gonna go ahead and tell you
a couple of context. Was Evanstone

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in town. Leslie Stall has family
here in town, so she used here

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for the holiday. Yeah, a
little hot pepper. Danny's is very comfortable

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coming up here in pajamas. I
think he's comfortable slang in that wood.

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So I'm gonna say that he went
to the Hustler Christmas party at the end

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of Go Hotel and had a threesome
with a sixty minutes reporter. Wow,

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Mikey, I think that sounds like
a crazy Outlander story. I'm gonna go

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with bee that bring your child to
Benny Hannah and he did not go.

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Well. Yeah, that's hard though, Mikey, you actually won. Yeah,

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Kevin, you were way off.
Felt too easy. None of that

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happened, felt too easy. All
right, Let's go to uh Choices is

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number two A. I went to
the second night of the Polyphonic Spree Christmas

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show at the Majestic, and I
was invited on stage by lead singer Tim

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de Latter to play and advanced cello
solo on their hit Light and Day.

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Upon receiving a standing ovation, from
a sold out, teary eyed crowd.

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I was carried off stage to an
exclusive green room to hang out with supermodel

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Emily Radikowski before I was begged back
to the stage by the band to perform

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a set of solo material as the
crowd would not stop booing the Spree after

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my initial exit. Wow, because
they didn't want to hear any more from

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them. Huh huh, bring the
cello guy back. This was Saturday night?

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Or on Saturday night? Did I
do this? Watch my almost three

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year old run full speed down my
hallway and superman himself over a bean bag,

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where he ended up landing face first
on the hardwood floor, suffering a

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massive contusion on his chin, resulting
in a deafening crying spell that lasted almost

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fifteen minutes. Okay, so I
was at the Polyphonic Spree concert Saturday night

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and I ran into old friends Dave
Lane, I saw, I saw Grooves

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and Darcy Ye many others. I
didn't see Danny and I definitely didn't see

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him go on stage. Yeah,
there's a reason for that, because be

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Malcolm b is what happened. Yes, my kid almost got a concussion by

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running full speed and Superman flying over
this huge bean bag and went face first

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into the ground. But no stitches. No, it almost broke the skin

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open on his chin. But dude, that was that was a big night

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Saturday. I thought you were going
to say that you did all that stuff

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on the Friday night first show of
the Polyponic spree? Did you go to

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that one? That was the trick? Clearly made that up on Sunday?

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Which one did I do? Which
one happened to me? On my vacation?

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I flew first class to Buffalo on
Sunday to see the Cowboys face the

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Bills and found my way down onto
the field on the sidelines, where I

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was invited by assistant tight ends coach
Chase Hazlitt into the medical ten for halftime

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tequila shots. Somebody had a leftover
coach reference that didn't use on the Hot

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Pepper pavilion, but they needed to
go ahead and burn case Hazlet, which

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is the son of Jim Haslet shots
McCarthy's barn dum or did this happen?

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I fell asleep in bed with with
Malki, only to wake up at three

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am in a warm puddle of toddler
p as a result of a blown out

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diaper. He really blew. He
busted through one. I think his dingling

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00:16:32.960 --> 00:16:37.279
like went out the side and he
didn't, so the diaper was unable to

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soak up the tea. So yeah, and you woke up to the soaked

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mattress. What do you do with
soak mattress? Get rid of It's time

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00:16:45.519 --> 00:16:48.480
to get a new one. It's
time to get a new one. All

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00:16:48.519 --> 00:16:56.000
right. If you're selling mattresses,
call the iHeart. And I think that's

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00:16:56.039 --> 00:17:00.919
obvious that this one is be because
if you remember at halftime at the Cowboys

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00:17:00.960 --> 00:17:07.519
Bills game, the uh the medical
tent was occupied, so I wouldn't have

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been able to get in there.
Yeah, that's what gives that one away.

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Yeah for sure. All right.
Number four, did I a win

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00:17:12.920 --> 00:17:18.880
twenty five thousand dollars on a scratch
off ticket? Or b spend three hundred

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00:17:18.880 --> 00:17:22.119
and thirty eight dollars at Old Navy
in Mesquite on size four T winter clothes.

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00:17:25.960 --> 00:17:27.880
Okay, so we had the local
story of the scratch off ticket that

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won a million dollars. I didn't
see one reported for twenty five thousand dollars.

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00:17:33.759 --> 00:17:37.960
But you do seem like you would
be more of a oshkosh pagash guy

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00:17:38.759 --> 00:17:44.640
rather than old Navy for the kid. Wait size four? T h Yeah,

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00:17:44.680 --> 00:17:47.640
he's two and he's two. He's
like, he's yeah, he's twice

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00:17:47.680 --> 00:17:52.799
the size of it, damn it. But he can still squeeze into a

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00:17:52.880 --> 00:17:56.640
three. Hope you kept your receipt. I'll say that you're a youth extra

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00:17:56.720 --> 00:18:00.519
small. Oh that's fine. Okay, I'll say that you're in the red

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00:18:00.559 --> 00:18:03.279
here. Okay, I'm definitely in
the red. Did you play a scratch

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00:18:03.279 --> 00:18:07.400
off ticket this weekend? Non't?
I've never. I haven't done that in

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00:18:07.440 --> 00:18:12.160
thirty years, Mike till today?
All right? Last one? He enjoyed

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00:18:12.160 --> 00:18:18.480
a twelve course tasting menu at Carte
Blanche made personally by dear friend and renowned

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00:18:18.519 --> 00:18:22.559
chef Casey LaRue, which included French
onion soup with local green Air cheese and

227
00:18:22.559 --> 00:18:29.519
fresh thyme, and a duck confee
served with Texas peaches and roasted pistachios or

228
00:18:29.680 --> 00:18:34.240
you deserve. I had the three
finger combo at Cane's Chicken Fingers with my

229
00:18:34.359 --> 00:18:37.039
son and had to console him when
we were told they were sold out of

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00:18:37.119 --> 00:18:45.599
posty cups. Which one actually happened? Did you say that you took Malcolm

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00:18:45.640 --> 00:18:48.720
to that first thing. No,
No, that was me and Emily from

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00:18:48.759 --> 00:18:56.240
a Spree show only because the theme. I'm gonna go with the Malcolm one

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00:18:56.279 --> 00:18:59.960
again. Guys. You guys are
really good at this game. Really enjoy

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00:19:00.079 --> 00:19:03.839
on your vacation. All answers are
be and I'm three days in two weeks

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00:19:03.920 --> 00:19:11.440
here welcome, just loving it.
Daddy Dinger, big old blue blue spot

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00:19:11.480 --> 00:19:14.559
on his chin. No wonder you
gave up and were sweatpants up here.

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00:19:14.640 --> 00:19:18.160
Totally pajamas, bro. You know
what sounds like Danny needs a couple of

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00:19:18.160 --> 00:19:21.000
your potatoes, Kevin. Yeah,
I'll give you a couple of potatoes.

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00:19:21.559 --> 00:19:25.160
Potatoes. You'll be all right with
a six pack for Christmas. Absolutely okay,

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00:19:25.240 --> 00:19:30.279
and he'll be all right absolutely okay. Well that was awesome. No

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00:19:30.359 --> 00:19:33.119
wonder you came back to work for
a couple of days. He can get

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00:19:33.119 --> 00:19:37.559
away for a minute. Okay.
We're gonna hear incredible songs from football Steve

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one from Christina to get you in
the Christmas mood, plus our holiday gift

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exchange. Next on ninety seven won
the Freak

