I'll always remember the most amazing thing the conductor ever told me. I met
him a little after all the lights went out and the TV stopped working.
I was scared and I was all alone. I just kind of left my
house and started walking for a really long time. I just walked and walked.
I didn't know where I was going, but I ended up at East
Broadtop, Pennsylvania, where my mom used to take me when I was little,
and that's where I saw him. He was smiling with big old smile,
and he said I should smile too, because he found the prettiest train
in the whole world and it was ours. He looked right at me,
and then he said, kid, you're right on schedule. Episode one,
The Advent Nomad. Ladies and gentlemen, this is your conductor speaking. We
are exactly fifteen minutes outside Grand Central Station, four minutes ahead of schedule.
We are well within the regulation seven minute window for arrival. There is no
reason to panic. We're almost there. It's been forever since we stopped at
Grand Central Station. Why call scavenging duty permission to visit the arcade, sir,
I'll only bring back little stuff, just like you said. Sorry,
kid, you're on dusting and repair duty this time. Oh, but sir,
I'm bored of all my old toys. I solve that Rubik's cube like
thirteen hundred times. Rubik's cubes engage a developing brain. Try to solve it
three thousand times before we visit this station again. Besides, we'll need all
hands on deck to keep to the schedule. I was forward men sonar indicates
something has settled itself on our tracks. Let's see. Obstructions of this magnitude
tend to be inanimate, more than likely a tree. Let's honk the new
horn, sir. We will not Trees don't move for horns. But Sir,
I want to honk the new horn. Oh, don't whine. You'll
need to move this obstruction yourself. If we're to keep to the schedule,
you'll need to clear the tracks within fifteen minutes. You can't waste a moment,
kid, Sir, did you internalize a single word that I said?
No, Sir, I just really wanted to make the horn go bamp bamp?
What did I forbid just moments ago? Was it making the horn go
bamp bamp? How for once in your life? Focus? We both want
to see Grand Central Station again, don't we? In all its soaring Gothic
glory. Do you remember how excited you were when we first saw a Grand
Central station. Yeah, it was the biggest thing I ever saw. It
was like a mountain, but like somebody made it. Only by human ingenuity
could something so precise, so intentional exist? You said you wanted to build
something amazing like that one day. Now, what do you suppose what happened
if the schedule never compelled us to arrive at this station again? What if
we simply forgot about it, left it to decay? All of that sweeping
architecture would crumble beneath the weight of the years. It's only by our will,
hard work, and commitment to the schedule that there is something left to
protect. Yes, sir, good. Now have you checked on the passengers
recently? Are they comfortable? Um? Sir, we don't have any passengers.
Hmm. Still have you checked the ticket box lately? Sir? You
said we weren't supposed to talk about the ticket box? Yes, I suppose
we shouldn't imagine that a conductor without passengers, how absurd? Oh? I
bet they have a ticket box that's completely empty. A ticket box labeled for
you. So empty. It's nonsense. It's pure chaos. Sir, you
said we weren't supposed to open the ticket box. Oh, I'll just have
a peek. Perhaps you missed one, then this would all make sense,
sir. Wait, sir, I can't let you open that box. Just
a peak? Sure, yea, sir? Are you okay? H yes,
I'm fine now, thank you kid, I'm fine. Really, I'll
just make an announcement to the passengers, ladies and gentlemen. We apologize for
the slight delay. The help is on their way outside to clear an obstruction
off the tracks. Work quickly, please, I don't want to waste a
moment more than necessary. Yes, sir, I won't let you down,
all right, Tree, I don't have time to talk right now. The
conductor's getting real cranky. Okay wait wait, wait wait, I just thought
have a good one. How about tree a latter alligator? Or maybe like
obstructing the tracks is an act of treason. It's dumb. Yeah, that
I bet she didn't Tree that coming. Whoa, you ain't a tree?
One in God's name was going on? You out here on your own.
I'm not alone. I have this big, chunky train with me and the
conductor. I am a little lonely, though. Would you want to be
my friend? Your friend? Sure? Why not? Can never have too
many friends. You have a friend already. Cool, I'm gonna make two
friends today. Are you telling me there's only two of you on this train?
How the hell do you run a train with just two people? It's
not that bad. We got a schedule to keep. You're on a schedule.
You sound pretty important. Well, it just so happens. We've got
somewhere to be as well. That's right, anywhere, but here. I
bet the conductor would be just delighted to have you on board. Oh man,
this is great. You'll be our first passengers in a long time.
I'll tell you that. I could even get you some thread so you could
sew up all those holes in your jacket. Geez, did you fall on
a porcupine or something? Oh? Yeah, this dumbass got caught stealing from
a porcupine camp and they poked him a few times, didn't they. You
told me they were asleep, Ricky, Some of a bitch. Wow,
I never saw porcupines camp before. Right, so we're looking to get on
board this thing soon? Oh right, Well, it's easy, fellas.
You just meet us at Grand Central station, give the conductor a ticket,
and you can hop right on. I lay out new sheets for you,
and you can join us for dinner. And then the conductor can stop being
so crazy about that ticket box. Grand Central stations fifteen miles from here.
Just let us on now, No can do fellas. Rules make buildings stand
up or something. We only pick up passengers from stations. First the conductor
says hello, sir or ma'am, and then you say hello conductor, and
then you give him your ticket. What the hell are you talking about?
Ticket? Let us on now. I'm not going to tell you again.
Well, geez, if you're going to be rude about it, I won't
tell you more times either. Oh he's getting mad. I can see him
watching from the cab. Look, fellas, I gotta get moving. Conductor
says, we got a lot of work to do at Grand Central. We
gotta layover till tomorrow morning. Just come by before then, just grab him.
We'll hold him hostage. So this conductor guy will let us on.
Now. He's not gonna like that one bit. He's gonna Oh he's here.
We got a couple of rowdy civilians, Sir, no one's here.
Let's see some tickets. Gentlemen, what the hell is wrong with you?
We don't have tickets. We're just gonna kill you and take your train.
God, shut up. I see. So you plan on piloting the Advent
nomads yourself? Is that right? Well? I'm sure such distinguished gentleman as
yourself have piloted a locomotive before. Surely. Unfortunately, though, I would
sooner throw myself into the sea than let another living soul pilot my train.
You don't get a fucking choice. Choice is all we get, you unwashed
buffoon? Uh what are you doing with that? Back it up, your
fucking psycho. I'll slit your throat from ear to ear. I swear to
God, stay the fuck back. We are running late. Ah yeah,
you cut Ricky in half. How look at what you made me do?
And all over the side of the Advent. That help's gonna have their hands
full with this mess. Well, anyway, now that we can chat like
civilized adults, feel free to join us at Grand Central Station to board this
evening. We will be serving baked beans in the dining car. Don't forget
your ticket. I'm sorry oh so sorry, so oh god, not a
baked bean man. Huh, crazy world we live in crazy crazy crazy crazy
crazy, easy or easy. Nothing's following you. It's all in your head.
Oh man, that's classical me. I'm amazed. I don't run from
my own shadows sometimes, God damn it. And doctor Schaefer said that being
alone wasn't as easy as it sounded. The last thing that I want to
see right now is another person. Just focus on getting inside the station.
It's like I'm spoke in the hair out here. This place was beautiful even
when it wasn't empty. I'm trying to imagine it like this so many times,
like I could just close my eyes and the crowds would vanish, and
I could stand at the censor of that cavernous silence. Just the thought of
Grand Central Station, this busy, dirty, massive hubble, human life empty.
I never thought i'd see the day. Well, look the fuck out
world. Archie Muller's about to enter Grand Central Station and nobody's gonna have to
drag him to the paramedics this time. What is that? Why does it
sound so close? Okay, okay, your adrenaline is just spiking. That's
all focus on your breathing. Nothing's after you, nothing's even here. Where
the hell did you come from? Have you been following me this whole time?
There's there's no way. You're a total chunk? Is I bet you've
never even been stout the day in your life? You're real friendly at least?
Nah. How does a sweet little thing like you survive out here?
Doesn't even look like you've been in a single scrap. You must be one
of the lucky ones, Just a handsome, lucky chunk, that's all you
are. You better find a place to hide. You've real exposed that here.
I guess we both are. Huh yeah, maybe I should get going.
I don't think I like being out here. Oh fuck, fuck,
fuck the fucked up the tie? To change these doors? Easy? Easy,
okay, Obviously somebody's up keeping this place meeting. Somebody's probably in here
right now. I don't even want to know. That was real? Oh
sorry about your window? Please don't kill me, please? I forgot the
cat. Where'd you go? I was gone for like two seconds? How
are you to stealthy? Just come on, let me pick you up so
you don't step in the glass. Stay calm Archie, you're just freaking out.
Doctor Schaefer said, your imagination just gets the better of you sometimes.
God, let's just hit me. It's so dark. God got cat come
back. It's got me. Shit, it's got me. A'm fucking dead.
I'm fucking dead. Oh the turnstyle got my backpack and I scared cat
off too. At least it'll be easy for it to hide in here,
not that it needs to help apparently. Hello it it's Archie. I guess
you don't really need to know my name, but there you go. Nice
to meet you. I don't want to kill anyone that's not a threat.
Yeah it sounded kind of threatening. I'm just looking for medicine. Hey,
I like sitting in the dark and being quiet more than most people. I
get it. Just keep being quiet and hopefully not there, and I'll be
on my way. I kind of thought the windows were let a little more
light in. How the hell am I gonna find medicine in the dark?
Thank thank I remember the paramedics office being up some stairs, but there's like
ten staircases. Damn. Panic attacks make everything hard to remember. Oh the
information desk, there's gotta be a map with the place and there huh.
Unlocked that's lucky. Did somebody somebody wiped the counter with antiseptic. That's the
same industrial great stuff we used at the zoo and the counters totally dustless.
Shit. They took the map too. Why are these people bringing so much
care into this place? They even pushed the chair in before they something just
moved. That's not Cat, Where do you keep coming from? Chris Woo?
I just saw trash can they're a second ago. Fuck, it's looking
for me. Why house would it come in here? Ah? And I
left the door wide open. Why just not call it over, Archie?
You basically already did. Now you're gonna die. Oh god, I'm gonna
die here under a cod dawn desk. I'm sorry, Annah, I guess
I really can't live without you. Shut up. Shut up. There's another
door on the other side of this room. Out ahead for the stairs and
get the fuck out of here. I just need a distraction. Push out
the other door. Don't hesitate. This is a great plan. You make
good choices. Follow my lead. Cat. Just gotta push the chair out
the other door and second four, second floor, second moor. Oh my
god, oh my god, my that's I can't read. Anna, saw
you Honna, what are you doing here? You have to run. Something's
coming for us. It's not safe here, Honor. It's not worth it.
Something's wrong, It's scilly for you, Honor. No where am I?
Why am I on my back? Am I? Am I? On
the A train? Attention ladies and gentlemen. We have now arrived at Grand
Central Station, New York City. Please remember to take all of your belongings
with you as you disembark, as we cannot be held liable for any stolen
goods. Please note that the help will be disembarking shortly to make necessary repairs
to the station, so unfortunately, room service will be temporarily unavailables. Single
file with your tickets in hand. We will be around to assist you momentarily.
Oh dear, hello, sir or ma'am. Are you dead? Yes?
I imagine they are, and tragically the dead cannot ride the advent No
mad Sorry mister, you shouldn't play in the tracks like that. Let's get
to work, kid, Just two pills left and we're all out of get
out of jail free cards. Okay, rewind. I remember twisting on his
ring and my fingers started bleeding. I was running from something, but it
shouldn't be there anymore. Oh thank you calling a pin? But then did
I get on the tracks? You can't be broken. The first time I
need to run since high school track and I bust my ankle? Okay,
oh god, I need set this fast? Where the hell's all my bandages?
I don't even have my splint. I dropped all my stuff back at
the turnstar. I didn't I yeah, Archie, you sure did. Super
Okay, So trained guy and his people must upkeep this place. The chances
are good they already grabbed all the available medical supplies the last time they were
here. That's what I'd do in a fucked up situation like this. And
where else would they hoard stuff? But on the ah, all the blared.
This massive thing makes the least sense so far, But here it is.
It looks kind of looks like the little train Mom used to put around
the Christmas tree, same bright red with the gold trim. No movement inside.
Probably everyone got out to look for supplies. It is that blood?
Oh my god, it's still wet. Okay, not screwing around here,
aren't she? Any and out? Doesn't matter that a nineteenth century steam engine
is spattered with new blood. That's probably not as crazy as it sounds.
It looks like a spaceship in here. I can't even stand up straight with
them meeting some piece of technology in my face. Engine heat, a dometer,
other train stuff, probably, though I'm gonna guess trains don't come standard
with Geiger counters and air quality mountitors. Oh it's that bad out there.
I hope it was humane to release the animals before I left the zoo.
It's not much safer out here than it wasn't there, Catt, How did
you get on the train before me? Yeah, you're like my chunky little
guardian angel. All right? Makes me down there. I don't want that
guy to see me through the window. Oh how is this carpet so soft?
There's even air conditioning? These people are living large, cat. I
just hope they all got off the train to do whatever it is they're doing.
The dining car I'm guessing seating, nice big windows. Damn, that's
stuff. Top looks brand new. Uh, I'm sorry, four ovens.
Cat. This ship looks barely used. It feels like I'm in the special
train edition of an Ikea catalog. Though I doubt these people are cooking the
pantages. Next car, Shit, sleeping car, Keep it down, Cat.
One of the room doors is open, okay empty. Looks like this
is the conductor's room according to the name plate. Why is this the only
door with the nameplate? Something's out there? He can't be back already?
Should a Hidecat? And I didn't close a single door behind me. You're
too stupid to live, Archie. Literally Finally, this next doors to supply
Krane in and out. Archie in and you're not a passenger. I believe
I explicitly requested that new passengers line up at the door so I could collect
tickets. You've disobeyed protocol. What what are you doing with that chainsaw?
You're bleeding yep, my ankle. Actually, that's that's why I am on
my carpet. The help just cleaned that. I'll help clean it. I'll
do it all myself, I promise, please. I just need to banishness.
My fingers bleeding to I don't want to make a mess. Only passengers
may make use of the supply closet. Well, do you wish to board
the advent nomad? Yeah, yep, Then I could just d board and
we will never have to see each other again, then present your ticket.
But but I don't have a ticket. Where the hell would I get I've
got an empty ticket box. Do you understand a box with a purpose serving
no purpose? Isn't that funny? What the hell are you talking about?
Am I just losing my mind? Sir? Good doctor, Hello citizen.
I don't know if I know what's going on right now. I've had a
really bad couple of months, maybe years, I don't really remember. I
thought that I would like being alone more now that everyone's gone or hiding.
It sounded perfect. Other people always exhausted me or scared me, and I
kind of always wanted to see a noisy city completely abandoned. But it's hard
knowing that I didn't get to choose to be alone. Choice is all we
get. Choice is what brought each of us here. What's your name,
Archie Muller? Sir, it's a pleasure. Is New York really empty?
Clearly not, mister Muller. We're both here right now. It feels empty
to me. I'd like to board, sir. I can't seem to find
my wallet. Could I give you honest wedding ring? Yes, payment,
it's a little bloody, but a ticket. I mean it's a ring,
but a ticket. I'm no man of faith, mister Muller, but whether
this be providence or blind luck, I'm glad to offer you a bed on
the Advent Nomad. Can I go and get those bandages? Now? Sir?
All passengers of the Advent, no matter, free to partake in our
facilities. The chef apologizes, dinner will be just a touch late tonight.
Got a broken window of picks at the front door, mondays, am I
right, wait? How does he know the date? Thank you for listening
to this episode of on Schedule. This show is created and produced by Kyle
Goss and Caroline Byrne, with associate production by Victoria Pereira. This episode was
written by Kyle Goss. In this episode, you heard the Conductor and the
Help voiced by Kyle Goss, Archie Muller voiced by Christopher Medina, and the
Vagrants voiced by Alex Benner and Christian Woodward folly In. Sound design was done
by Kyle Goss and Caroline Byrne. Audio editing was done by Caroline Byrne.
Our theme music is hands composed by Christina Jane George and performed by Christina Jane
George and Anthony Saddick. This episode also features the Unstruck Sound, Jonathan's Cope
and on Rocks of Black Obsidian, all composed by Christina Jane George. You
can find all of her music on her SoundCloud page. Cover art is designed
by Caroline Byrne. Be sure to subscribe to on Schedule so you don't miss
any of the fighting action to come, and if you're enjoying the story so
far, consider leaving us a review. We release new episodes on the first
and fifteenth of every month. You can also follow us on social media at
on Schedule cast on Instagram and Twitter, and on Schedule podcast on Facebook and
YouTube. We are thrilled to welcome you aboard the Advent Nomad and promise an
unforgettable ride. Have your ticket ready next stop Episode two, The Thieves Code