Big pink ass goes outside and he just starts wiping away the tears and he's
wondering, am I a complete asshole? Yeah? Answer yes, Number one
answer, Number one answer, Kyle Ballue deck Man, what word do you
think of when you think of Kyle and asshole? All right, I see
if it's on the board. Number one, asswo number one ass right right.
And to remind everybody, Pat's not doing an impression of a black man.
He's doing an impression of Steve Harvey. That's an important distinction. Number
one answer. Welcome aboard another brand spanking new episode of another below Deck podcast.
My name is Dylan. I'm suded up next to one Patrick Kicky til
the unexcitement is palpable in your voice. I am getting sick. I know
it's coming. I gotta take some night quil tonight. I got to hit
the sheets hard. And then I don't know where are you at? Because
you know how when we're walking around and we start feeling, oh boy,
I think it's coming on. Yeah, where are you? Oh? Like,
normally for me it's a little bit of a week. I'm feeling a
little weak and then I get a little itchiness in my throat. The fatigue
is there. The fatigue is there. What is a surefire signal for me
is the sweat right underneath the eyes right here, just a constant perspiration there
always. And then of course you've got the spit that feels like toxic sludge.
I mean, I don't know why it burns as much as it does.
I don't understand it, but it is coming. Oh boy. So
if I'm a little low energy tonight, I apologize, but it is not
my fault. If we had a good episode of Below Deck, I would
be rip roared and ready to fucking chuckle right now. But unfortunately we do
not. Before we get into this less than good I think some people say
subpar, I say less than good episode of Below Deck, we have some
PSAs well. You know what, I'll give a little bit of what's coming
up in the next week or so, Ruby Ran, Papaya Dog Girls going
to be in town. And that's when we like that it's the best podcast.
Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle Oh yes, So she will be
here for a couple episodes of Belowdeck or Winterhouse by the way, head on
over. Well, it's in your feed if you like. If you.
Winter House is the best. It's the best, guys. You don't even
need to watch the show. The show's forty minutes running time. We do
like an hour. We were longer than the actual dumb show. There are
so many little funnyberries in that show. Jan we are with our little baskets.
And also what's coming up in the new year. I believe we're gonna
go right back to ninety day Fiance for its shorter running time version of itself.
Yeah, I'll never go like, I'll never watch a two hour reality
televisionhow I don't think I can either deal. Yeah, it's just it depresses
me when I have to do it. Well, it's just, uh,
it's just uh, it's insulting to the audience too. Uh it's hubristic to
go yeah, fatso, did you get some thin crust tonight? We'll saddle
up because you've got two hours of Jasmine and Gina. That's horrible, you
know, when nobody wants Yeah, it's tough. We'll probably you know what,
maybe we might do the hour and a half shows when Love after lock
Up debuts again. But anyway, it's looking like vander Pump Rules and ninety
Day the single life are going to be what we kind of launch within the
new year. Yeah. I love Love after lock Up because it makes me
feel good about myself to see people with meth problems who live in double wides.
Hey, it's therapy for me. Well, there you go, do
it. You know, because I'm not an EmPATH, I do not feel
their pain. I just laugh. Why are you drinking screwdrivers in your front
yard at three o'clock in the afternoon with a bunch of heavy machinery that is
rusted again in the front yard. I don't understand what's going on? And
why is your name puppy? And why do you smoke so much? You
don't have a job. Dylan and I called this. I was going to
rename the show SIGs in Sadness anyway, below deck? Can I get my
thoughts and knots on this episode? One more PSA, Oh what is it?
The Laura episode is out. We had a great time talking to her.
Check that out. She is She is pristine, she is classy as
fuck. She is the MVP of the season. A Sea Lioness, A
Sea lions that's the name we have for her. I just could not love
her more. I want to be her best friend. She's great. She
was great, great interview gave us. She wouldn't talk a lot of but
I think you could read between the lines when we asked her who if you
were a captain, who'd you have back on your boat? And she said,
uh, uh, Luca and Jack, yeah, meaning none of the
interior. Yeah, oh and Lily. She didn't say Lily. No,
she didn't know because Lily is a biological hazard. But we'll get there.
We'll get there, all right. Dell. It sounds like you didn't like
the episode. I didn't like the episode either. Look, if you don't
got the goods, then just I don't know, smash two days together,
make the editing faster, make things speed up. There were a couple notable
things here. I will get to Cuh, we've got Kapecia mash. I
mean that was notable. You know. The cliffhanger had him. I look,
he walked in the cabins. We'll get to it. He smashed a
glass, he took a jacuzzi and freezing cold water that could have killed him.
Yeah, but it just that didn't pan out the way I thought it
would. I think he's a fascinating kind of blackout though, and we'll we'll
talk about it. There are different kinds of blackout drunks, right, and
when they do get into that state of grace, which is revolting to everybody
around them, they become a zombie. And like any other species of undead,
there are a lot of different kind of offshoots. You know. It's
like the Galopuco silence. There were different birds that had different beaks for different
reasons. And Amish is a fascinating kind of blackout drunk I'm excited to talk
about. Yeah, he definitely was. I especially liked when Primary Michael because
Sandy ratted Amish out and he had to sit him down. Yeah, that
talk was like how I thought, like a resembled like how a dad would
talk to his son, you know, to explain him about the birds and
the bees. He's like, spoke with your mom, amiche She's having to
replace that hand lotion twice a week and then your bathroom, so can we
slow it down? And also, please don't ejaculate on other people's socks.
Yeah, you can ejaculate on yours and other people's socks. Stuff gets in
there, like gorilla glue. Sound have you ever worn a dress sock in
your life. No, well then don't come in mind because you know that
they're not yours. Right, come on, yeah, well you got it
pop anyway. Uh, I'll say that I'm gonna give you this episode ten
knots. I'm gonna give it one one plus thirty. I give it thirty
one, Okay, thirty one puck. So it's so odd that we don't
have chirons on below decks like we do on Winterhouse day and time in Winterhouse.
It's just tracking. It's really really odd. But last week left off,
Sandy was ripshit pissed about Luke. I mean she was just ripshit pissed.
We've got people down, we've got no one helping, and we've got
a mesh Kapika shades getting fucked up. I mean, he is, he's
pitbull right now, he's in the pit bull shades. He is not turning
anything from a negative to a positive. Oh, by the way, if
you want some good podcasting, head over to wherever you listen to podcasts,
and what does it called? From a negative to a postogy, from a
negative to a podcast positive? And people can mock pitbull all they want,
right, But the collab with Neo Give Me Everything Tonight is a timeless classic.
Why why are you laughing? Oh, it's a timeless classic. And
when Pitbull does erect the stage in Gaza that he has promised us, things
will get sorted out there because people will gather, people will drink pepsi,
and they will realize that there's really nothing to fight about. He mentioned that
on episode two of his podcast. Yeah, well, he only did ten
boy if he had just stayed in the game. So first and foremost,
Luca is ripshit pissed too, because what's going on here is that Lily the
hazard is downstairs. She has to be shepherded by Ann, so they don't
have enough people to run plates. That is why this kind of clown car
shit is going on right now. Yeah, I think Max when he was
woken up, he was running plates with a hard on. Well, I
was going to say a running suit on. Oh oh, I thought you
were going to talk about his dick. No no, no, no,
no, no, no, excuse me, my pepe. It is just
my pepe. This was all dumb. I understand that Sandy didn't fully understand
what was happening. She addresses it later on in the tip meeting. But
Sandy, if you don't have the whole story, stay out of it.
So Rosewild Brenzino is the first chorus, with a I don't even know what
that technique is, and I'm too I was too sick to look it up.
It's a fricochet of a wild mushroom. I would imagine that it's just
chopped. You know all these words, Julian, it just means chopped cut.
But it's a beautiful dish. It's a delicate, flaky fish with a
good seer on it. These dentists are shoveling it down their gullets like the
pelicans. They are, you know what I mean. Now, while the
guests are eating and the exterior or running plate, it's Lily and Jess are
really just jet I mean Lily are going through the Cleantel's stieldoz edible underwear.
Things you shove up your ass, things you shove up your ass. I
mean, it's all there. And this is why you can't go on these
vacations, because this is not a white tablecloth experience. Regardless of how many
times these sea rats portend that this is five stars, there is not the
professional pride or decorum of somebody that you know, let's say, works at
I don't know, what are those fancy hotels. Yeah, it would be
a hotel like something where there's actual accountability. These people are out in the
ocean. No one's really looking at what they're doing. When you're at a
hotel, you do have, like, you know, certain levels. Everyone's
got an eye on somebody, Saint Regis. Is that what I'm thinking of?
Yeah? Sure, No, how about the Ballet Hotel? No,
no, no, it's a chain. But there's only there's Edison. No
no, no, no, it's not Edison. There's one in Hawaii right
by the oh four Seasons. Four seasons, of course, the four Seasons.
Now, if you did have a suite at the Four Seasons and had
somebody unpack your shit, they would be wearing white clothes and they would not
be getting off on your anal beats. They would be putting everything away and
they would they would leave after they would collect the tip and leave. They
would not be looking through massive amounts of mascara at your sexy stuff. No,
it is not a joke, right, but not when you're being waited
on by sea rets. Is the point belabored. Can we move on?
Oh yeah, no, no, no, absolutely he can. I get
to a key part of the episode that I that I stuck out for me.
Yeah, so a mish am I saying his name correctly. Just call
them shades, Shades, Okay, shades. I don't want to be Judgie,
but look, you're on vacation. You should get trash. But I
do want to say, leave the blackout status to two years after you graduate
college. Yeah, leave it to children exactly. Yeah. By the way,
I was up in solving like a few years back. I'm at like
a Michelin star fucking restaurant. I'm sitting next to a table next to some
nice ladies in their sixties. Two of them proceeded over the two hour dinner
as I was witnessing, get so fucking drunk. One of them had to
lay on the fucking floor. Yeah, come on, you're in your sixties
and that happens. I mean, my darling wife, Cecilia and I were
flying home from Virginia last month and the woman next to us, who did
have a Pomeranian underneath the seat in front of her sweet dog, very calm
temperament. She got five cans of wine one every hour like clockwork, another
rose, another rose. I know you need to charge me. By the
end of that flight, that woman could not stand and she began speaking to
me while spitting on my wife because you know, when you get to your
level, there's so much liquid, you know. She begins speaking to me
about how she has been to every Sandals resort except one Antigua, and she's
going, so everybody just kind of just keep your druthers about you, Okay,
yeah, yeah, you're embarrassing. Okay, now a mish I mean
shades drunkenly. At some point during dinner leans over to one of the other
fellow guests and notes he's wearing a bracelet with his name on it, and
he says, he's like, what are you gay? He's like, why
do you have your name or your bracelet? Is it? Because you're so
dumb? I can't remember your name. Now. If this was old Paddy,
old Paddy would have said, well, my dad gave this to me
before he went off to Vietnam. Yep, yep, yep, really milk
it. I never saw him again. Turns out we lost him in a
helicopter a mish. Yep. He flew to the northern part of Maykong Delta.
Yep, he met a nice girl, started a new family. I
heard he's doing well. Anyway, what are you drinking? Yeah, just
to see if he's listening. Yeah, and he's not listening. And that's
why what I would say would be much shorter. I would say, you
were You have two satellites on your face right now, and it's nine o'clock
at night. You look ridiculous, and you keep screaming for ale. There
is no ale. You make me want to hurt myself something like that.
But that wasn't good. You know what. You know what the best thing
to do with the mish capees would probably be ignore them. Just ignore them,
you know, take the high road, Golden rule, right, one
of them. Jesus said, take the high road. That's what Jesus said.
So we move on. Kyle is going ham on pork belly. Oh
this is so funning, and then he begins speaking about how he doesn't feel
comfortable with Jack and Lily hating him. Well, all right, till can
I talk about this? I have lots of thoughts on this, of course.
So Kyle shares with Jessica Slashan that he's feeling like he's twenty one,
not thirty one, which is how old he is. Because of the whole
Lily Chef Jack thing. I don't think it's an age thing. I've pointed
this out. I think it's a maturity thing. I know twenty year olds
that don't engage in this bullshit that you've decided to engage in here, And
I also know six year olds that are idiot's speak to a professional. Oh,
your life is in chaos. You need to examine why you are pink
slimeser. Yeah, and when you're not on top of this stuff, when
your life is in disarray, you're blaming others for it and you cannot see
your part in it. You'll begin weeping at the sound of a b rate
opera singer, and it's those kind of uncontrollable little emotional mud bubbles that just
kind of explode and you have no control over what's going on. That's There
are a couple moments in this episode which Kyle, I don't think you're near
being a normal, happy person. No, there's an antidepressant script coming for
that young man, and it's sad because you know, listen, is it
over prescribed? Yes? But sometimes people need it, you know. So
dessert is a lava? Is that a showstopper always? Or is that a
showstopper always? You know, it's like a filet mignon. No excuse me,
it's like a beef Wellington. Way more work than it's worth. But
man, the oz oh you know, it's like when you see the lava
come, yeah, the wall. Yeah, it's chocolate in the middle of
a cake. Yep. So Amiche says three me funny, very funny,
Amiche to bastard eyes purposefully a young woman of colors name oh, there you
go. Wow. But he's he's a man of color too though, so
right not right now, right now he is a zombie and pigment does not
really have any part to play in a zombie. The skin is dead,
the veins have come to the four. They are purple and thirsty. That's
what a mesh is right now. So Toomey and Luca are fucked. Toomey's
got two people on beds and heads, and she kind of has to because
of Lily. This is the Sandy's trying to figure out what's going on here.
But we move on to Amishka. Unless you I did have some thoughts
on this. Okay, so Sandy lets us know that it's both Luca and
Toomey's fault. Dare I say you have a part to play in this too,
Sandy, because you know it's going on. You don't know what's going
on, why you're doing all this stuff. This is this is where Sandy
goes wrong. In my opinion, I've slowly kind of come to the table
of liking Sandy a lot because I know she has to deal with a lot
of sea rats. Yeah, so it's actually not Toomey's fault or Luca's fault.
If we're breaking down the fourth wall, dill as I've come to know
us. We talked to these sea rats off Mike. It's actually production's fault
for intentionally casting and experienced assholes they found on Instagram. Yeah, the woman
said that she worked at Wimbledon. She spelled it incorrectly and said she was
a position that if you just did a little bit of googling you would find
out does not exist. So don't hire her. How about that guy that
brought a photo of another guy that he thought was gonna So anyway, no
Amish's torked to the moon at this for real. He's running around the boat,
yelling more, yelling more, ale, yelling more. Why do you
keep up with this mantra? It's because he's blackout right right then, I
thought he started asking for a hot dog. It took me like eight minutes
into the episode to realize he was asking for a hot tub. Yeah,
hot tub. He was trying to find the hot tub and he is trying
to find the hot tub in the bottom of the boat, in the smallest
rooms in the bottom of the boat. He's going into people's cabins, and
he is quite cheery. And this is the kind of blackout that Amisha is
now. All blackouts are completely impervious to the ramifications of the reality that they
are walking around in with their knuckles on the floor. But some are angry
towards it, some are glazed completely towards it, and there are others that
are fun chipper. He's busting into people's rooms, borderline sexual harassment, definitely
inappropriate right because people are sleeping and he's going, how you doing. He's
a happy blackout, Oh, he is so happy. There is there.
You know. The things are just bouncing off of this guy. I want
to say this to the honest. Oh, especially when another person tells you,
hey, get out of here. Yeah, he's like, no prop.
I tried finding Shades to get him on the show to explain himself.
Please, Barnacle, some of you are so good at your research and investigative
fine also shades. We will interview him later this week. To the Barnacles,
who are really really good at finding people, we love you so much,
but be worse at that. Yeah, you could be using your time
more productively. There's so much life out there. But if you want to,
if you get you know, if you pop off at that kind of
thing, I mean, we encourage it. And this again I say we
love you now. He continues to go on this tour of complete blackout where
he is fifty sheets to the moon, but he seems at the same time
zombified and gaslighting people who are making inquiries about his sobriety. So it's this
really interesting dynamic where he'll slide down a flight of stairs and drop a wine,
shattering it all over the place, and they'll go, are you okay
what happened? And he goes, I just drop my wineglass, Shad,
it's you your alcohol, your blood alcohol level right now? Is fourteen.
I don't understand how you are as composed as you are. I drop my
wine glass. Not big deal. Maybe it was the cold water in that
jacuzzi. Yeah, you know, I do want to say this about shape
Shades. He did this one night. He had announced to everybody else,
I'm getting sucked up. I'm getting sucked up. It's just that they didn't
get fucked up. So he was alone person getting fucked up. Yeah,
and I would argue, why bother? Sure? Yeah, yeah, it
doesn't matter that you're in a loveless marriage. I mean, there are different
ways to cope with that. Your kids don't like you, that's fine,
next day, next morning. So Luca is like me and the girls are
gonna hit it hard after this charter. Luca is he is a little dionician
chair of that one. I mean, he just worships it, that altar
of hedonism and fleshly desired, you know what I mean. I mean that
is just his nucleus. You need people like that on this show. I
agree, he's wonderful. Bubble and squeak for the morning. Have you heard
of this before? Yeah? Okay, And to no one's surprise, it
is a dish from the United Kingdom that is made of pots and cabbage.
They've been eating the same way since the life expectancy was seven. They just
do not change. I think there's eggs in there too. But yeah,
a little leg on top, yeah, yeah, throw a little leg on
top. But yeah. I mean, can you imagine that you fall in
love, You're like, I'm gonna be with you forever, which is seven
now six months. I was gonna give it to like sixteen and a half.
You know. You know back then, Pink Eye would take you out.
Oh yeah, you didn't wipe your butt properly, I'd kill you.
You get sepsis. Yeah, you know, it's so funny. I've been
my wife is on the tiktoks and we've we've found a couple gals from the
UK who are just amazing. They're just amazing content creators. There's one Irish
woman who drinks almost exclusively hyper blue vodkas, be they blue lemonade or blue
coconut, and she just gets fucked up and she's amazing. But there's another
woman who kind of shows you the ins and outs of grab and go dining
in the UK, and I mean it genuinely is disgusting what those people consume.
They get Chinese food and there's fries. I don't know why they have
fries with their Chinese food. But they also have Munchi boxes. You know
what a monkey box is. It's it's a pizza box and you open it
up and there's some kebab in it and more fries and chicken wings and more
fries. And I just want them to not have to go to Turkey to
get their teeth worked on. And I want you know, it's just listen,
hey, nobody eats more shit than Americans, so I shouldn't be talking.
But you could get a bucket of French fries at Rallies in New Orleans
during Marti gras a bucket of French fries. I mean, we have the
Reese's Cup thing going on right now, the one pound Reese's cup in Herschel
Park. We made a Babe Ruth when you came over here. I told
you I've been eating like Lena Dunham because it is the holidays. And I
had a baby Ruth at eleven o'clock, completely in bed, and when it
was done, I felt no shame, and even the next morning, I
didn't feel any shame and then much like Kyle hearing that operatic music and then
crying, I was kind of struck by a PTSD almost kind of nightmare where
I flashed back to me eating a baby ruth at eleven o'clock at night,
Just struck by how not okay that is? I mean things that are made
of nightmares, you know, like a lot of chocolate in that bed,
you know, Yeah, a little crumb of chocolate and peanut and I'm laying
down. Speaking of Kyle dil Yeah, him and Lily, they have a
chat in that laundry room, you know. Yeah, she tries to clear
things up with him regarding all the drama that's been created. Sure, she
notes she hasn't picked a side, you know, and she apologizes for all
the confusion. Yeah, thank you. We were waiting with baited breath on
who you're going to pick? Kyle, here's this, and he thanks her
for picking the quote unquote right side. Ye, not to get inside Lily's
head, but I think this was more about her trying to save her ass
from being on the chopping block. Sure, and there'd be no point trying
to get into Lily's head because it's just that monkey climbing up, I mean
chiming those symbols together. And we love Lily, but that is what's going
on. Yeah, yeah, she's green. She's green. She got cast
on Instagram. She shouldn't be here. But Kyle hearing her say that she
hasn't picked a side, but then he acknowledges that you've picked the right side.
I don't think he's done any self inventory. No, it's Palpatine shit.
It's more Palpatine shit from Kyle. And the thing he says next,
is it the girl who can't figure out how to turn on a washing machine
came to me and apologize. Why can't Chef Jack? I have a question,
why can't you? That's a great point because I'll get ahead of myself.
When he calls Zachary the love of his life. He can't understand all
the negativity and he's tired of it, and he says something interesting. Yeah,
he says he wants to know how people can change the way they think
about him. Okay, so first off, I want to say, Zachary,
what an angel? I mean, I don't know what is more.
We're an enabler, right, I don't know what's more difficult working with special
needs children or dating Kyle. But I think both of them are very,
very taxing, Kyle says, And this is such an insight into how sick
in the head he is. How do I change people's thoughts about me if
they already feel that way? There are so many things that are wrong with
that sentence. And maybe he's not sick in the head. I think he
is sick in that he's a foblo narcissist. But maybe he's just a little
confused about his place in why everybody hates him this directive to change people's minds
already, that's not a great place to start from. And then to completely
have no acknowledgment of the part that you've played in it is just it's sad
to see, that's what it is, so pink slime. Does Haley feel
this way? Does Luca feel this way? Does and feel this way?
Why are you the only one that feels that people are coming at you with
all this negativity? Yeah? What's your part to play in this? Yeah?
You know, I feel bad about beating these Well, he's not young
anymore. It's thirty one. Jesus fucking Christ. But I just I watch
just Kyle you gotta figure it out, dude. Yeah, it's sad.
It's sad. We want Kyle to be happy. I do you know?
I liked him last season. We used to talk to him or our former
co hosts and uh and then uh, yeah, he's kind of bumming me
out. Yeah, pink s Hey have you tried? Did you get any
nuggies this week? What's a nuggy? A chicken nuggy? Did like any
chicken nuggies? Do you mean like meat and chicken nuggets? Yeah? I
mean you said you get chicken nuggies all the time for my daughter? Yeah,
yeah, she had chicken nuggets. Did you check out the shapes?
I told you to check out the shop? Oh no, there were nuggets
we got McDonald's. They're nuggets, they're golden nuggets. No, but we
talked about the shapes. Ones a boot, ones, round one's oblong.
I said, you don't remember this conversation. I do remember the conversation.
But I'm pretty sure they're just like, they don't look like like stars or
anything. No, I'm not saying they're stars there there. It's more confusing.
They're amorphously consistent in their sloppy shape. You know what I'll take photos
next. Now you don't need to take photos. I'm done with it.
If you're not gonna look, you're not gonna look. That's it. Last
time I bring that up again. Okay, Natalia, she's not would you
just shut up? Natalia. She's not on the show anymore, but yet
she her presence looms large. I missed cuddles with you. What It's just
I'm here, I get it. I'm here, I get it. God
damn. And Luca has a part to play in that too, you know,
Luca's oh the way you're sleeping with Jessica slash hand now right, cool
it to Luca, who is who was a bully to her towards the end
because she wouldn't fuck him because she was in an open relationship that wasn't an
open relationship but was rather abusive and rather controlling and not open in any way
shape or form, is now happily flirting and keeping that fire stoked in case
he can fuck her again. Wall fucking an, I mean, the man
is just diabolical. That butterfly is fluttering. Now we get to this thing
that happens every episode or four. Headed back to the dock with the winds
coming up. Winds are too tough. We can't can't go anywhere. I've
got to go back to the dock sixty thousand dollars a day. So Lily
wants to do maths instead of make bets. Now I don't think either are
in the cards for her, but definitely not the bets. She keeps doing
this crazy thing where she doesn't understand the language of the environment she's in.
So Toomey will be like, did you do the rooms? And she'll say,
yeah, I did the rooms. And she'll go into the rooms and
they're not done, and she'll ask Lily, I thought you said that you
did the rooms, and Lily will be like, I thought that you were
speaking about the toilets, and Toomey's like, are you retarded? Okay,
Dell. I had this thing when I was young. I would have a
boss or a manager and they'd be like, okay, write this down.
I'd never write anything down. Sure, you're one of those people. You
think you got it, I got it. They start talking to me.
I get nervous. Yeah, I couldn't take in anything they were saying,
right, And then I'd nod in my head like I heard everything they said,
but I was lying right right right, and I fake it till I
maked it. So we doc and Toomey realizes that what Lily can do is
blow up balloon, which she cannot. No. No, we learned that
the Pudlians desire to go to Turkey to get their teeth done, and Jack
is hoping that he can get his teeth done stateside by these lovely people,
not a mesh because his hands are shaky. One slip of that drill and
your gums are just in shamples. And I would bet the house that he
has operated on people's mouths. Still fucked up, doctor death man, he'll
fuck up your back. Oh yeah. The next thing you know, you're
like, hey, let me go in for this operation. My fucking batsman
hurt me. Living your life in a goddamn wheelchair. Yeah, yeah,
yeah, exactly. That guy was a bad guy. He's terrible, real,
real crummy character, that guy. So the opera singer heads on.
I was gonna say, what do you think about this dinner menu surf and
turf with mac and cheese. Well, I mean it is a steakhouse.
Cool, we're going to outback. Welcome to the more. I'm tongue ted.
I'm tungue tied. Yeah, no, it's uh, it's somewhere between
Outback and Morton's and it is nowhere near yachts. But no, this is
what people want. The lobster look delicious. Listen. Jack knows how to
play to the palettes of you know, dentists from Florida. Yeah, these
seals, and he gave them what they want, you know, lobster steak,
mac and cheese, tomato and onion salad. I mean, who doesn't
love that food. That's a classic night at a steakhouse, you know what
I mean? There's nothing wrong with that. Hey, del Can I talk
about this opera performance? Yeah? Can we really quickly though? Talk about
Laura being confused about why the opera singer is here. I don't know if
it's a bit. If it is, it's Andy kaufmanesque, I'm very confused
about it. Laura, you are so good at so many things. You're
objectively horrible. Yeah, yeah, she's horrible. Yeah singing and I that
was definitely a joke and okay, and I think that was her attempt at
being funny. The opera performance, while lovely, I have to say,
and I'm a poopy pants here. I don't like people singing that close to
me. No, No, there's guns n' Roses concert. That's you know,
that's one thing, you know, having people singing you in private setting.
It weirds me the fuck out because I get so uncomfortable with eye contact.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, intimacy terrifies you. Of course, inevitably
the opera singer is going to be singing to me eye contact and I am
going to avoid eye contact, and I'm going to stare at her cheek and
I'll start going, oh, is that a Z for me? Right right
right? Because I'm uncomfortable and insecure and that's me. That's a meat ye.
No, And I am right there with you. You don't want the
intimate concert by a person who you're not a fan of, by a person
who is some kind of street urchin who has been brought on this boat to
sing opera because that's an uncomfortable situation one you know, classically trained or not.
She stole from a lot of people today. So Michael, that big
baby is wiping away the tears. I mean, this opera singer is really
coaxing out a lot of a lot of wetness, especially you know who.
Yeah, thanks, Lon, Big pink ass goes outside and he just starts
wiping away the tears and he's wondering, am I a complete asshole? Yeah?
Answer yes? Number one answer, number one answer Kyle Ballue deck Man.
What word do you think of when you think of Kyle and asshole?
All right, I see if it's on the board. Number one answer,
number one answer right, right. And and to remind everybody, Pat's not
doing an impression of a black man. He's doing an impression of Steve Harvey.
And that's an important distinction. Number one answer name something that comes after
pork? You pie? And that was an impression of a black man.
And I I'm sorry he said you pad by the way you break out the
Family Feud insanity on PMZ. It's one of my favorite segments. I love
watching Family Feud and breaking down the insanity on that show. All right.
Meanwhile, Lily has developed quite the innovative method for how to what's something you
want to want to see when you're robbing a house? Nik your grandma?
That's the number two. Actually, that's correct, it's on the boat.
Okay, alright. So meanwhile Lily, she's developed Dylan she should work for
fucking Tesla. She's developed quite the way to keep track of her job performance.
She's going to write things down on a pad, right. Yeah,
it's a little bit like if you know, we were trying to get through
the logistic nightmare of getting the women and children off the Titanic, but someone
was like, nobody, move, We're gonna write this down. It just
doesn't make any sense. You know, it's paralysis by It's yeah, paralysis
by analysis. You know, it's not that difficult. You just wipe the
ship off the toilet seat, right, make sure the ship is off the
toilet seat, Sweep the pubes up off the floor, right, give a
little rinse to the shower, and just strip the beds. That's it.
We don't need to write out anything there. Yeah, that's right. Put
the chocolate on the pillow. That's a nice touch, and get out of
there. So dinner is an American steakhouse classic, Like we mentioned, lobster,
t bone, mac and cheese, tomato, onion, and we get
chocolate. I think there was a little fig on that, which was a
nice touch. I think that this is a jugy, bullshit dinner. But
I think that Jack did a great job. I'm gonna give it seventy pots.
Play into the crowd. So after Jess comes down and sees that the
iPad isn't working, because how could it, right, she goes and alerts
to me, Now, I want to say this about Jessica Slashan. Do
you remember a few weeks back when everyone was attacking you because you were green
and not doing your job? Well, yep, interesting how human beings work.
Yeah, I mean Lord of the Flies was turned down by almost every
publishing house and that right, Yeah, and we needed that tone because it
is very, very applicable to so many different situations and is an archetype.
On that island, she would shove Piggy off that mountain face in a heartbeat,
fucking drop kick his fat ass. Yeah, I have the counch.
So a couple more in Italian texts. Don't hurt my little heart, I
think she said one time. So that's cool. And then we get to
the next day. The guests apart and the sea rats are really going at
it. They are torqued up and ready to go. Now Luca and Jess
are making out at the table before the They say, still are sparkling.
I mean these two are just slamming down one another's throats, and then Kyle
makes a declaration, I'm getting wasted tonight. That was good. That was
good. Yep. He says, I'm gonna get fucked up tonight. And
Jack knows that when that happens, he turns blush pink and gets really mean.
So Jack says, cool it a little bit, and he says he's
joking. I don't think he was joking. He's seen him turn into the
kind of fabulous wraith that he turns into when he gets that wasted. But
Kyle says, let's talk, which is an odd, disastrous, confrontational way
to go about this. And when the commercial hit, I was certain that
these two were going to explode and implode. Chef Jack would never let that
happen. And that's the reason, see Kyle feeds off someone coming back at
him. The fact that Chef Jack was able to kind of contain his himself,
I think is why that didn't explode. Chef Jack is a bomb diffuser.
You know you can't. There's no flames with that. It just you
know. So Jas and Luca we head back to the boat. Jess and
Luca bang it out while Lily and Max practice high kicks on one another.
Right now, did Lily and Max hook up as well? Think so?
Probably? Okay, yeah, probably, And then we get to the next
morning. We end with Haley heading out feeling under the weather, and Sandy
and Lily having a little chat. You need to you need to do better.
I'm gonna give you one more chance. Yeah, that's pretty much how
it ends. Yeah, and we have three days left of the season,
so I think Lily's gonna be sticking around. It's three days, not three
charters, right, No, I think it's like two two more charters.
Oh, okay, I think Lily's gonna make it to the last Hurrah.
But we'll see. Jumping the iTunes range reviewsually five stars, kind words,
Lee's join us on the YouTube's The Laura video is out, Join us on
Instagram, another below deck podcast, what else Patreon dot com donate a little
lower, a little bit more, and we love you guys. We hope
you guys have a really, really beautiful holiday season. Yeah, that's it
from us. We'll see you next week. I'm doing saying good bye,
pat say goodbye, dudes. As extinct intens the distincts