Downbeat on ninety seven one the freak piano piano what locked? We're locked in
your Your picks for the Valst Bar Championship PGA Tour stops Saint Petersburg, Florida
are now locked. Everybody. They're calculating the ownership. Find out what the
rest of the world picked. Oh god, it is one of those j
j JJ loves Christian Bizeiden Hoot and she tried to get me to switch.
Yeah, well or no. I told her. I had to tell her
no, And I'm sorry I was so firm, firm, but that is
I felt pressured. I just asked you randomly to choose between b Zayden Hoot
and Nick Taylor, and you and Danny Bill for both good for both of
them. This appears to be a lovely course. Yeah. They usually play
on pretty nice courses. Yeah, for the most part. It's a long
course, Danny. And it's got a signature copperhead. Yep. At the
that's kind of the course. You know. It used to beat the Byron
Nelson. He actually used to be the Byron Nelson. A statue of him.
Where is this this St? Pete St? Pete, Florida. Okay,
it's the Valvespar paint. That's a paint. Yeah, it's where they
weirdly play a couple. This is the last tournament of the Florida Run.
Then they come to Texas next week. I thought Valvespar was that big ass
envelope you get in your mail with all the coupons inside it. Maybe that
is it. Do you know what that might be? This? It really
might be the sponsor that value pack which paper is wasted in the mail every
day? Oh my god, so much. Stop sending stuff that I don't
need. I think that's why Simon tries to kill the mailman every day,
because he's fighting for the environment. It's up the mailman's fault. I kind
of think it is. He's the one who brings you the paper that you're
bitching about. What if his job was I'm supposed to deliver all this mail,
But I think I'm gonna take a stand for the environment and go recycle
it all today, and then people get butter because they don't get their bills.
Then he does. He's gonna lose lose. Look what percentage of mail
gets opened these days? Because you have to tell him very little, ninety
percent of it. You can just throw it right in the recycling and do
is there. And the companies that send out junk mail have gotten pretty clever
to dupe you into opening it with the fake handwritten Okay, that's my favorite.
I love the handwritten font. Yeah, but you can tell, Yeah,
you can tell after you you know, fall for it once, or
or they pay extra for the envelope with the little glass window and they kind
of make it look like it might be a check inside. Yeah, it's
like, all right, well I'll just rip the hat, rip the corner
off of this open immediately, open, immediately. Oh better yet when they
use a real stamp, yes, what yes? Or they pony up for
the red paper on the inside. Yep, Well this looks important. I'm
getting the little wheel here on the ownership Mike, are you? But it's
coming. We'll find out what the rest of the world. Just five percent
on Justin Thomas. I went Justin Thomas this week to watch episode one of
Netflix's Full Swing. Yesterday, I got through the whole season. Okay,
don't spoil anything. You've probably watched it in one day, didn't you two
days? Yeah, that's really good. And I forgot he's always forgot.
I remember who won the Masters last year. But I kind of forget the
rest of them sometimes. But I remember Brooks Koepka won the second major,
Yeah, and that really irked Rory. And they get into that in the
first episode because Rory is like devastated that Brooks passed him on the number of
majors. Brooks gets to five and Rory's still at four. Rory really needs
one, and all he does is like get kind of close. Yeah,
even last year. I mean he just doesn't. He can't win him.
No, he's dump and that I think that. I think that's what made
him more than getting back stabbed, or maybe equal to getting back stabbed by
the tour commissioner j Monaghan's I think that's what made him go f it.
I'm dropping all my obligations. Then I will now spend time with my family
and play golf. Yeah, like I'm not jag. No more NERD meetings
either. One thing you saw the first season of Full Swing, right,
remember our boy Joel Damon By the way, dude won like six hundred grand
last year. I know what I was saying. You finished t eleven at
the Players the biggest person of the year, and get his house back he's
got he's got a new babby. Yeah, he's got a fresh babby and
he just won. I mean that was like, that's a huge His episode
in this season is great as well, and it shows with him sort of
dealing with the fame associated He's like, it's really weird. He's still as
goofy as ever. Yeah. Yeah, but he had a poor year last
year and even his caddy and his wife are like, it's kind of weird
that he said. He said, I'm pretty sure I'm the most famous highest
rank golfer in the world, you know, because every tournament he goes to
because of that, everyone's like, yo, we love you. And he's
now in the hundreds I think in the world ranking. He was seventy in
that first season aired. It's so weird. Yeah. And the other other
quick TV review, I watched The Palm Royale last night, episode one on
Apple TV. Yeah, Krista Wiggles star, I can go ahead and tell
you, guys, don't waste your time. It's terrible. Thank you,
don't do that. Move it on down the road, man, I'm up
to speed on Showgun. You guys bail on that. I bailed, dude.
It is the it is the freaking Japanese Game of Thrones. You've got
to stick with this. It's good. I have yet to start. It
is really good. We took Got Me Choking Down Warrior, which is I
don't know. Warriors are just fun. Yeah, it's not important, it's
not it's you know what. It's never in a rush to be like next
episode, next episode. Yes, I don't know. It's just fun.
You know, TV crack if you've got nothing else going on. And but
man, Showgun is relevant. I think it is. I think it's kind
of cultural significance. It really reminds me a lot of got Okay, yeah,
just wait until they get the cannons off of the Onngin's ship. Why
is it every start using those against their enemies? What because pirates are piping
hot? No, it's every story one from the porno Pine. Don't let
pirates into your house? Okay, well, Showgun. The this thing aired
originally in the eighties. Yeah, when me and Mikey were little kids.
He was a little little kid, tiny baby. I was at least,
you know, in junior high, middle school, and well you could not
you couldn't even turn the damn TV on back in the day without seeing promos
for Showgun and Roots. Those were very important network TV mini series, and
nothing seemed more boring to me as a kid was the promo for Showgun.
But my dad loved it. Though. I'm going to jump on and I
am excited. I think it'll be good. Have you not watched any I
watched. Oh it's so good man, I'd like to let him. I
like a nice build up. It is a lot of subtitles, though,
I'm okay with that. Yeah, a lot. I checked it. There
was like two or three episodes and now there's probably six. I believe I
watched either four or five last night. I liked build it up and explode.
I'll tell you one thing, though, I don't believe that. I
don't believe the fairer sex looked like that in the sixteen hundreds. Yeah,
holy enough, that's enough to get you back in my going. I might
jump back in. Really. Yeah. Let me put it this way.
Google has been working overtime since I started Showgun. I just didn't like,
I mean, no little research online when they jumped in the ocean at some
point of meaningfulness. That really bothered me. Kevin, you will you will
you honor to me that I'm saying I don't want to watch it. You
will pick the most bizarre hills to die on. When it comes to one,
one little wrinkle and Kevin's like, I'm done. It sucks. They
jumped in the ocean, you can do it. Sucks. I think it's
good. I just think it's far too slow for me. The main female
character is Wow. If I was about to type in a character's name and
then the word nude into Google, when I choose Toto Marico, Oh,
that's gonna be a problem. There's no classhold names in this show. No,
these are their characters. I'm asking you, going, it's hard to
know that, Chiba no kata, keep going, It's hard to know the
names of the people. What are the characters' names? That is the actress
names? Why? Yes, that's the one. Really you know their names?
Trust me? Auto Field, Hey, Danny, look it's the signature
Copperhead. Hey, why nude? We have Mike Bonano and Dirk. This
golf course has a giant gold snake and it's pretty good. That's all right,
it's copper Their last three holes of the snake pit, Danny? Really?
Yeah? Par three four? What does the copper head to have to
do with Saint Pete's copperheads in Saint Pete's No. Yes, there are snakes
in Florida a lot. I saw that there. He found three huge pythons
wrapped up in a big ball for an orgy m h that happens often.
But there's a big headline esterday, Mike, your ownership the rest of the
world, Nick Taylor. Nick Taylor is sixteen percent. Let me just go
and say that ninety six people did not choose anyone. Sam Burns twenty two
percent. Justin Thomas five percent, he's like sixth Nick Taylor third nine point
four will take that basin hoot three point yeah, So there you go.
Whatever. No one cares about that something important, most important in the world.
It's not true. Some people care about this, Captain. People are
caring ironink. A lot of people like golf, but not too many and
care about the open. Well, yes it is way. It's time to
get your stupid as you guys are scrambling to get broke Ast TV up and
running. I'll tell you this why I just won six hundred and sixty six
dollars. I might have bought my friend Kevin a nice, newer, functional,
solid. But I didn't. I sure didn't. Well, I'm still
waiting on on Kevin to I don't know, changes, to tube factor authentication,
to Venmo to send me his share of the money. Apparently he's been
shut out. You're not square No, I'm back. I better square up
with him back. I just not want to spend one minute in Danny Baalis's
pocket. The bank had to shut down my card for a A bad place
to be. Some mere money and I'll buy you a TV. I know
I don't want anything. I don't want anything, man, Okay, So
today the tournament begins, and I love it personally, even though I do
think college basketball is kind of a bad product. I do love it because
I have a team to pull for and because I have some skin in the
game. You do, so that is what keeps me coming back for more.
But the idea of all this, I was reading something about it was
talking about TV advertising, and it was like it's the only thing, Like
it's the most sure shot thing of the spring, even more so than the
Masters, even more so than obviously Opening Day or any of the playoffs,
the most sure shot thing. If you're choosing ads to run it is.
Get your ads on this week March madness today and tomorrow and this weekend too,
because that's what everyone cares about it. Did you have a chance on
upsets? I think probably. The first four games are over right, Yeah,
the tournament is set. The tournament of sixty four is set. Yes,
okay, and it starts today, starts this morning this morning. Yeah,
that's our first game, our first game of the day, Mike.
That I care about I know is eleven forty am. It's a BYU against
Dukine. Let's break it down. Six BYU eleven Ducaine Danny East Region first
round. I don't even know where Ducaine is, much less anything about their
basketball program, and neither do you. That should be our game, all
right, guess the mascot? No, I do have a couple of fun
facts? You do? Yeah? For what? Ducaine? Uh? Not
on Ducaine? All right? Hold on? Where's Ducaine? Don't? Look?
Are we smart enough to work this out? Anyone? Did you play
against Ducaine JJ when you're college softball legend? I do not, but I'm
familiar with them. You know where they are? I think? Is it
it's not Louisiana? Is it? No? Are they in Washington State.
No, I know what's your guess. New Jersey. No, but what
in doubt? Throw it up in that northeast, that dense northeast. No
is it north like you is closer here? New Hampshire, No, Delaware.
No, I give up. I quit Pennsylvania, Pittsburgh. I don't
give up. I quit Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Someone on Texas like Pittsburgh.
Now. They last made the Final four in nineteen forty. So yeah,
watch out for them today. First game today, Mike is because I do
love the staggered starts. We got Michigan State against Mississippi State, ms U
against ms U tom Izzo. Where are those schools located? Those are New
Jersey too? Comes a problem? Right? What state a Creighton? I
will say. There's a fun story to watch at one pm TBS. It's
number fifteen, Long Beach State at Arizona. Because Long Beach State is playing
with a coach who's already fired, all right, and he Corilla pretty funny.
In his press conferences. He is like, I think he referenced the
Seinfeld episode where George couldn't get fired by the Yankees. Who's trying to because
he and the school mutually agreed to part ways, and then he breaks the
news to his team, and then they go win their conference tournament and get
an automatic bit into the tournament. So they win five straight games after he
breaks the news to the Hey, they want me to leave, so I'll
be this will be it this tournament. I love you guys, and they
run the table in the conference tournament. Is awesome? Make it? He's
like for him. In six days, he went from not having a job
to getting them in the school, which they never do. I think pretty
great. His name is Dan Monson and I support him. So they're fifteen
seed Long Beach State against number two Arizona. If they pull the upset,
does Dan Monson get a new contracts slid across the table? I think he
should get in already. Yeah? Right? Too long they they made do
they never make the tournament? There's no way they make the tournament, right,
they've never made the tournament? I would imagine. I'm sure they've made
the tournament. Basketball coach Monts and the Dean of Chancellors wants to meet with
you. He was the word. The Dean of Chancellor's wants a word.
Do you want to try to get him on today. Well, he's got
a big game, Mike. He got the cop. I got the cop.
You don't think he has to do police work today? Yeah, well
I got Julio Ferrari for the Benningskin Show via via see Steve got them.
Yeah, but I should give a little credit for it, because they didn't
know about it until I said something. You spent like thirty minutes yesterday giving
yourself credit for it, including I believe the quote was what I'm awesome,
I'm great, I'm number one, something along those lines. That's pretty good.
Then I'm the greatest. You hear that all the greatest. That's what
it was, and then straight into audio. Shades of Ali. I do
see shades of Muhammad Ali when I when Kevin walks into our room, kind
of in all facets of his life. You know, you also have shades
of Ali. You also have a game that's interesting. Have you ever thought
of a basketball game as the Trev Alberts Bowl? Okay? Have that?
Trev Alberts left Nebraska last week to go be the athletic director at Texas A
and M, and they meet in the first round of the tournament. He
left, God, my god, went to college there left takes over at
A and M. Now there are five of this mascot in the tournament.
Can you guess this is the most represented wildcat? Good guess, But no
tiger, no bulldog? All right, Danny, Yes there, yeah,
it's bulldog or wild It's like the top three. Yeah, yeah, number
four is I mean our number two four cougar? So bulldog, cougar,
wildcat. Yeah, you guys nailed it right there, good John ad cougar
to Danny's impressional list, Who do you think will have a Who do you
think will lose by the least amount of points? Will it be Longwood or
Morehead? He's Kevin Turner. He's Kevin Turner. There's no Oral Roberts this
year. You have to have someone name is Kevin Turner. Okay, sorry
I stepped out. Do it again, Evan's first t T joke issued.
It's six fifty two. Go ahead and log that on the uh yeah,
hit your punchline again clean. Sorry. Morehead State at two ten against Illinois.
Now, who do you think will lose by less? No, we
don't care exactly. That's the point. That's the point of it all.
We watched this thing where unless you have a team that you like. It's
just kind of happening. Nice, I said, we watch it. People
don't watch it. They just maybe fill out a bracket or two and move
on. Do you have Ted Cruise's bracket talk? Oh my god? Where
is that? Ted Cruise tell you to fill out a bracket and if you
win, you can play him in basketball with Ted Cruz. You didn't see
that? Yes I did, and he starts off with, hey, how's
your bracket doing well? I hadn't started yet, Ted, I just filled
mine out, did he? There's a video to it? Yes, Oh
my god, I see that. I know. I just looked at what
you sent me like. I didn't click on it. You didn't. You
didn't make a donation. No, I had to make a donation. Oh
my god, it is here, okay, J J. Crean. I
don't expect to get more emails and March Madness is here. I'm filling out
my bracket and inviting you to enter our Cruise College Championship pick them context.
That's different. Here's my He sounds like he changed the video. March Badness
is there? Is it different? Yes? Because last one he he said,
how's your bracket doing? How's your bracket doing? Mark badness is here?
Boy? If you search Ted Cruise, it's gonna take a long while
to get to the bracket because he's in every head of line. Is he
for something else? Our sweet Ted Cruise, Texas Texas his own stop the
radical left by filling up your bracket? He sounds like Miley. He does
like Miley. Okay, you can also win a Ted Cruise shirt. Yes,
win my shirt. Fill out a bracket pretty good. That's your bracket,
dude? Make him say more words. Just play the thing? Why
not get the elite eight? I have Yukon against Iowa State. I have
North Carolina against Baylor, Houston against Texas Tech. I have Purdue against Texas.
I will nip it's very much a Homer bracket. But I'm a wait.
So he screwed TCU though he let Purdue in Houston Texas Tech. TCU
has for the Texas on the on the right side of the brackets. Screwed
TCU eight what seven voted blue of the last midttern So he's not a Christian.
No, all he does is look at what larger population or like,
who has a larger student body and chooses down does he have a Texas school
to win the whole thing tech. Yeah, he has Houston the final four.
I have Yukon against Baylor, Houston against Texas in the finals. I
have Houston against Baylor and calling the championship right now, I am calling twenty
twenty four men's NCAA winner as the University of Houston. Go Koog's and sign
up right now, Sign Shockers. Sign Yeah. He has three tex teams
in the final four. That's beautiful. And he has two Texas teams in
the in the final in the championship game. How do your bracket do?
Amazing? Yeah, that's amazing. What a politician, you know? I
on his uh on his YouTube just to see if I can find the one
that says how's your bracket doing? In the first video up there, you'd
think it would be about this basketball challenge. It is how to defeat cultural
Marxism in America's a YouTube video on that. Okay, you play that,
how do you do it? Tell me how how to video it? Oh?
All right? More fake Ted Cruise. I gotta add that to Danny's
list of and please okay, Fake Ted Cruz joins Jackie Gleeson and Krusty the
Clown. Can you imagine if finally, in all of world history, the
first perfect bracket ever is finally completed, right mm hm? And like there
was websites that offer you, I think, one hundred million dollars, you
know, I mean you can just pick any numbers like you don't. Has
it ever been done? Like, no one time, not on record,
not on record, never wants a perfect racket. And you and it's finally
done, and it's only completed at ted cruiz dot com, and you win
a chance to play one on one. That's what you get. The odds
of a perfect bracket are one in. I can't even even number for this.
It's nine Comma two two three, Comma three seven to two, coma
O three six eight five four seven five eight away. That's not that's more
than trillion. Anytime they have the exponentials on a number and they start putting
letters in it, yeah, we love that. Like if your calculator gets
confused and can't give you an actual number and it's just yeah, yeah exponents.
Yeah, you know, it's big. That's wild that no one's done
one though. I mean, those are incredible odds. So I'm looking at
the Store of how one fan came close to a perfect March Madness bracket,
then he missed one game by Ben Rogers. Apparently guy doesn't like okay,
we should go now. Why always every time we get cooking okay, we
have to suddenly stop coming up next to you. Guys are killing your quarter
hour shares. Oh, by god, time conspiracy. In the world of
sports. This clock one of the most popular autile time stolen from or was
he doing his buddy a favor next time he sidn won the freaking