WEBVTT

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Downbeat on ninety seven one the freak
piano piano what locked? We're locked in

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your Your picks for the Valst Bar
Championship PGA Tour stops Saint Petersburg, Florida

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are now locked. Everybody. They're
calculating the ownership. Find out what the

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rest of the world picked. Oh
god, it is one of those j

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j JJ loves Christian Bizeiden Hoot and
she tried to get me to switch.

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Yeah, well or no. I
told her. I had to tell her

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no, And I'm sorry I was
so firm, firm, but that is

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I felt pressured. I just asked
you randomly to choose between b Zayden Hoot

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and Nick Taylor, and you and
Danny Bill for both good for both of

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them. This appears to be a
lovely course. Yeah. They usually play

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on pretty nice courses. Yeah,
for the most part. It's a long

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course, Danny. And it's got
a signature copperhead. Yep. At the

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that's kind of the course. You
know. It used to beat the Byron

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Nelson. He actually used to be
the Byron Nelson. A statue of him.

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Where is this this St? Pete
St? Pete, Florida. Okay,

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it's the Valvespar paint. That's a
paint. Yeah, it's where they

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weirdly play a couple. This is
the last tournament of the Florida Run.

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Then they come to Texas next week. I thought Valvespar was that big ass

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envelope you get in your mail with
all the coupons inside it. Maybe that

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is it. Do you know what
that might be? This? It really

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might be the sponsor that value pack
which paper is wasted in the mail every

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day? Oh my god, so
much. Stop sending stuff that I don't

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need. I think that's why Simon
tries to kill the mailman every day,

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because he's fighting for the environment.
It's up the mailman's fault. I kind

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of think it is. He's the
one who brings you the paper that you're

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bitching about. What if his job
was I'm supposed to deliver all this mail,

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But I think I'm gonna take a
stand for the environment and go recycle

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it all today, and then people
get butter because they don't get their bills.

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Then he does. He's gonna lose
lose. Look what percentage of mail

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gets opened these days? Because you
have to tell him very little, ninety

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percent of it. You can just
throw it right in the recycling and do

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is there. And the companies that
send out junk mail have gotten pretty clever

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to dupe you into opening it with
the fake handwritten Okay, that's my favorite.

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I love the handwritten font. Yeah, but you can tell, Yeah,

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you can tell after you you know, fall for it once, or

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or they pay extra for the envelope
with the little glass window and they kind

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of make it look like it might
be a check inside. Yeah, it's

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like, all right, well I'll
just rip the hat, rip the corner

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off of this open immediately, open, immediately. Oh better yet when they

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use a real stamp, yes,
what yes? Or they pony up for

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the red paper on the inside.
Yep, Well this looks important. I'm

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getting the little wheel here on the
ownership Mike, are you? But it's

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coming. We'll find out what the
rest of the world. Just five percent

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on Justin Thomas. I went Justin
Thomas this week to watch episode one of

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Netflix's Full Swing. Yesterday, I
got through the whole season. Okay,

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don't spoil anything. You've probably watched
it in one day, didn't you two

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days? Yeah, that's really good. And I forgot he's always forgot.

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I remember who won the Masters last
year. But I kind of forget the

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rest of them sometimes. But I
remember Brooks Koepka won the second major,

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Yeah, and that really irked Rory. And they get into that in the

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first episode because Rory is like devastated
that Brooks passed him on the number of

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majors. Brooks gets to five and
Rory's still at four. Rory really needs

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one, and all he does is
like get kind of close. Yeah,

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even last year. I mean he
just doesn't. He can't win him.

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No, he's dump and that I
think that. I think that's what made

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him more than getting back stabbed,
or maybe equal to getting back stabbed by

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the tour commissioner j Monaghan's I think
that's what made him go f it.

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I'm dropping all my obligations. Then
I will now spend time with my family

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and play golf. Yeah, like
I'm not jag. No more NERD meetings

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either. One thing you saw the
first season of Full Swing, right,

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remember our boy Joel Damon By the
way, dude won like six hundred grand

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last year. I know what I
was saying. You finished t eleven at

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the Players the biggest person of the
year, and get his house back he's

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got he's got a new babby.
Yeah, he's got a fresh babby and

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he just won. I mean that
was like, that's a huge His episode

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in this season is great as well, and it shows with him sort of

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dealing with the fame associated He's like, it's really weird. He's still as

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goofy as ever. Yeah. Yeah, but he had a poor year last

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year and even his caddy and his
wife are like, it's kind of weird

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that he said. He said,
I'm pretty sure I'm the most famous highest

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rank golfer in the world, you
know, because every tournament he goes to

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because of that, everyone's like,
yo, we love you. And he's

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now in the hundreds I think in
the world ranking. He was seventy in

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that first season aired. It's so
weird. Yeah. And the other other

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quick TV review, I watched The
Palm Royale last night, episode one on

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Apple TV. Yeah, Krista Wiggles
star, I can go ahead and tell

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you, guys, don't waste your
time. It's terrible. Thank you,

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don't do that. Move it on
down the road, man, I'm up

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to speed on Showgun. You guys
bail on that. I bailed, dude.

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It is the it is the freaking
Japanese Game of Thrones. You've got

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to stick with this. It's good. I have yet to start. It

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is really good. We took Got
Me Choking Down Warrior, which is I

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don't know. Warriors are just fun. Yeah, it's not important, it's

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not it's you know what. It's
never in a rush to be like next

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episode, next episode. Yes,
I don't know. It's just fun.

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You know, TV crack if you've
got nothing else going on. And but

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man, Showgun is relevant. I
think it is. I think it's kind

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of cultural significance. It really reminds
me a lot of got Okay, yeah,

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just wait until they get the cannons
off of the Onngin's ship. Why

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is it every start using those against
their enemies? What because pirates are piping

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hot? No, it's every story
one from the porno Pine. Don't let

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pirates into your house? Okay,
well, Showgun. The this thing aired

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originally in the eighties. Yeah,
when me and Mikey were little kids.

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He was a little little kid,
tiny baby. I was at least,

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you know, in junior high,
middle school, and well you could not

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you couldn't even turn the damn TV
on back in the day without seeing promos

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for Showgun and Roots. Those were
very important network TV mini series, and

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nothing seemed more boring to me as
a kid was the promo for Showgun.

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But my dad loved it. Though. I'm going to jump on and I

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am excited. I think it'll be
good. Have you not watched any I

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watched. Oh it's so good man, I'd like to let him. I

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like a nice build up. It
is a lot of subtitles, though,

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I'm okay with that. Yeah,
a lot. I checked it. There

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was like two or three episodes and
now there's probably six. I believe I

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watched either four or five last night. I liked build it up and explode.

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I'll tell you one thing, though, I don't believe that. I

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don't believe the fairer sex looked like
that in the sixteen hundreds. Yeah,

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holy enough, that's enough to get
you back in my going. I might

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jump back in. Really. Yeah. Let me put it this way.

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Google has been working overtime since I
started Showgun. I just didn't like,

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I mean, no little research online
when they jumped in the ocean at some

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point of meaningfulness. That really bothered
me. Kevin, you will you will

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you honor to me that I'm saying
I don't want to watch it. You

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will pick the most bizarre hills to
die on. When it comes to one,

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one little wrinkle and Kevin's like,
I'm done. It sucks. They

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jumped in the ocean, you can
do it. Sucks. I think it's

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good. I just think it's far
too slow for me. The main female

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character is Wow. If I was
about to type in a character's name and

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then the word nude into Google,
when I choose Toto Marico, Oh,

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that's gonna be a problem. There's
no classhold names in this show. No,

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these are their characters. I'm asking
you, going, it's hard to

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know that, Chiba no kata,
keep going, It's hard to know the

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names of the people. What are
the characters' names? That is the actress

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names? Why? Yes, that's
the one. Really you know their names?

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Trust me? Auto Field, Hey, Danny, look it's the signature

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Copperhead. Hey, why nude?
We have Mike Bonano and Dirk. This

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golf course has a giant gold snake
and it's pretty good. That's all right,

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it's copper Their last three holes of
the snake pit, Danny? Really?

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Yeah? Par three four? What
does the copper head to have to

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do with Saint Pete's copperheads in Saint
Pete's No. Yes, there are snakes

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in Florida a lot. I saw
that there. He found three huge pythons

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wrapped up in a big ball for
an orgy m h that happens often.

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But there's a big headline esterday,
Mike, your ownership the rest of the

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world, Nick Taylor. Nick Taylor
is sixteen percent. Let me just go

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and say that ninety six people did
not choose anyone. Sam Burns twenty two

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percent. Justin Thomas five percent,
he's like sixth Nick Taylor third nine point

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four will take that basin hoot three
point yeah, So there you go.

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Whatever. No one cares about that
something important, most important in the world.

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It's not true. Some people care
about this, Captain. People are

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caring ironink. A lot of people
like golf, but not too many and

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care about the open. Well,
yes it is way. It's time to

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get your stupid as you guys are
scrambling to get broke Ast TV up and

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running. I'll tell you this why
I just won six hundred and sixty six

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dollars. I might have bought my
friend Kevin a nice, newer, functional,

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solid. But I didn't. I
sure didn't. Well, I'm still

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waiting on on Kevin to I don't
know, changes, to tube factor authentication,

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to Venmo to send me his share
of the money. Apparently he's been

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shut out. You're not square No, I'm back. I better square up

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with him back. I just not
want to spend one minute in Danny Baalis's

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pocket. The bank had to shut
down my card for a A bad place

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to be. Some mere money and
I'll buy you a TV. I know

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I don't want anything. I don't
want anything, man, Okay, So

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today the tournament begins, and I
love it personally, even though I do

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think college basketball is kind of a
bad product. I do love it because

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I have a team to pull for
and because I have some skin in the

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game. You do, so that
is what keeps me coming back for more.

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But the idea of all this,
I was reading something about it was

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talking about TV advertising, and it
was like it's the only thing, Like

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it's the most sure shot thing of
the spring, even more so than the

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Masters, even more so than obviously
Opening Day or any of the playoffs,

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the most sure shot thing. If
you're choosing ads to run it is.

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Get your ads on this week March
madness today and tomorrow and this weekend too,

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because that's what everyone cares about it. Did you have a chance on

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upsets? I think probably. The
first four games are over right, Yeah,

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the tournament is set. The tournament
of sixty four is set. Yes,

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okay, and it starts today,
starts this morning this morning. Yeah,

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that's our first game, our first
game of the day, Mike.

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That I care about I know is
eleven forty am. It's a BYU against

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Dukine. Let's break it down.
Six BYU eleven Ducaine Danny East Region first

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round. I don't even know where
Ducaine is, much less anything about their

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basketball program, and neither do you. That should be our game, all

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right, guess the mascot? No, I do have a couple of fun

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facts? You do? Yeah?
For what? Ducaine? Uh? Not

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on Ducaine? All right? Hold
on? Where's Ducaine? Don't? Look?

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Are we smart enough to work this
out? Anyone? Did you play

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against Ducaine JJ when you're college softball
legend? I do not, but I'm

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familiar with them. You know where
they are? I think? Is it

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it's not Louisiana? Is it?
No? Are they in Washington State.

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No, I know what's your guess. New Jersey. No, but what

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in doubt? Throw it up in
that northeast, that dense northeast. No

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is it north like you is closer
here? New Hampshire, No, Delaware.

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No, I give up. I
quit Pennsylvania, Pittsburgh. I don't

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give up. I quit Pittsburgh,
Pennsylvania. Someone on Texas like Pittsburgh.

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Now. They last made the Final
four in nineteen forty. So yeah,

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watch out for them today. First
game today, Mike is because I do

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love the staggered starts. We got
Michigan State against Mississippi State, ms U

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against ms U tom Izzo. Where
are those schools located? Those are New

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Jersey too? Comes a problem?
Right? What state a Creighton? I

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will say. There's a fun story
to watch at one pm TBS. It's

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number fifteen, Long Beach State at
Arizona. Because Long Beach State is playing

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with a coach who's already fired,
all right, and he Corilla pretty funny.

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In his press conferences. He is
like, I think he referenced the

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Seinfeld episode where George couldn't get fired
by the Yankees. Who's trying to because

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he and the school mutually agreed to
part ways, and then he breaks the

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news to his team, and then
they go win their conference tournament and get

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an automatic bit into the tournament.
So they win five straight games after he

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breaks the news to the Hey,
they want me to leave, so I'll

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be this will be it this tournament. I love you guys, and they

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run the table in the conference tournament. Is awesome? Make it? He's

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like for him. In six days, he went from not having a job

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to getting them in the school,
which they never do. I think pretty

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great. His name is Dan Monson
and I support him. So they're fifteen

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seed Long Beach State against number two
Arizona. If they pull the upset,

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does Dan Monson get a new contracts
slid across the table? I think he

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should get in already. Yeah?
Right? Too long they they made do

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they never make the tournament? There's
no way they make the tournament, right,

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they've never made the tournament? I
would imagine. I'm sure they've made

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the tournament. Basketball coach Monts and
the Dean of Chancellors wants to meet with

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you. He was the word.
The Dean of Chancellor's wants a word.

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Do you want to try to get
him on today. Well, he's got

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a big game, Mike. He
got the cop. I got the cop.

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You don't think he has to do
police work today? Yeah, well

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I got Julio Ferrari for the Benningskin
Show via via see Steve got them.

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Yeah, but I should give a
little credit for it, because they didn't

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know about it until I said something. You spent like thirty minutes yesterday giving

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yourself credit for it, including I
believe the quote was what I'm awesome,

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I'm great, I'm number one,
something along those lines. That's pretty good.

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Then I'm the greatest. You hear
that all the greatest. That's what

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it was, and then straight into
audio. Shades of Ali. I do

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see shades of Muhammad Ali when I
when Kevin walks into our room, kind

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of in all facets of his life. You know, you also have shades

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of Ali. You also have a
game that's interesting. Have you ever thought

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of a basketball game as the Trev
Alberts Bowl? Okay? Have that?

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Trev Alberts left Nebraska last week to
go be the athletic director at Texas A

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and M, and they meet in
the first round of the tournament. He

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left, God, my god,
went to college there left takes over at

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A and M. Now there are
five of this mascot in the tournament.

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Can you guess this is the most
represented wildcat? Good guess, But no

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tiger, no bulldog? All right, Danny, Yes there, yeah,

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it's bulldog or wild It's like the
top three. Yeah, yeah, number

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four is I mean our number two
four cougar? So bulldog, cougar,

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wildcat. Yeah, you guys nailed
it right there, good John ad cougar

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to Danny's impressional list, Who do
you think will have a Who do you

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think will lose by the least amount
of points? Will it be Longwood or

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Morehead? He's Kevin Turner. He's
Kevin Turner. There's no Oral Roberts this

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year. You have to have someone
name is Kevin Turner. Okay, sorry

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I stepped out. Do it again, Evan's first t T joke issued.

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It's six fifty two. Go ahead
and log that on the uh yeah,

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hit your punchline again clean. Sorry. Morehead State at two ten against Illinois.

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Now, who do you think will
lose by less? No, we

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don't care exactly. That's the point. That's the point of it all.

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We watched this thing where unless you
have a team that you like. It's

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just kind of happening. Nice,
I said, we watch it. People

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don't watch it. They just maybe
fill out a bracket or two and move

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on. Do you have Ted Cruise's
bracket talk? Oh my god? Where

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is that? Ted Cruise tell you
to fill out a bracket and if you

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win, you can play him in
basketball with Ted Cruz. You didn't see

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that? Yes I did, and
he starts off with, hey, how's

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your bracket doing well? I hadn't
started yet, Ted, I just filled

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mine out, did he? There's
a video to it? Yes, Oh

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my god, I see that.
I know. I just looked at what

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you sent me like. I didn't
click on it. You didn't. You

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didn't make a donation. No,
I had to make a donation. Oh

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my god, it is here,
okay, J J. Crean. I

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don't expect to get more emails and
March Madness is here. I'm filling out

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my bracket and inviting you to enter
our Cruise College Championship pick them context.

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That's different. Here's my He sounds
like he changed the video. March Badness

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is there? Is it different?
Yes? Because last one he he said,

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how's your bracket doing? How's your
bracket doing? Mark badness is here?

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Boy? If you search Ted Cruise, it's gonna take a long while

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to get to the bracket because he's
in every head of line. Is he

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for something else? Our sweet Ted
Cruise, Texas Texas his own stop the

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radical left by filling up your bracket? He sounds like Miley. He does

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like Miley. Okay, you can
also win a Ted Cruise shirt. Yes,

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win my shirt. Fill out a
bracket pretty good. That's your bracket,

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dude? Make him say more words. Just play the thing? Why

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not get the elite eight? I
have Yukon against Iowa State. I have

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North Carolina against Baylor, Houston against
Texas Tech. I have Purdue against Texas.

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I will nip it's very much a
Homer bracket. But I'm a wait.

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So he screwed TCU though he let
Purdue in Houston Texas Tech. TCU

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has for the Texas on the on
the right side of the brackets. Screwed

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TCU eight what seven voted blue of
the last midttern So he's not a Christian.

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No, all he does is look
at what larger population or like,

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who has a larger student body and
chooses down does he have a Texas school

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to win the whole thing tech.
Yeah, he has Houston the final four.

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I have Yukon against Baylor, Houston
against Texas in the finals. I

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have Houston against Baylor and calling the
championship right now, I am calling twenty

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twenty four men's NCAA winner as the
University of Houston. Go Koog's and sign

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00:20:53.319 --> 00:21:00.480
up right now, Sign Shockers.
Sign Yeah. He has three tex teams

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in the final four. That's beautiful. And he has two Texas teams in

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the in the final in the championship
game. How do your bracket do?

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Amazing? Yeah, that's amazing.
What a politician, you know? I

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on his uh on his YouTube just
to see if I can find the one

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that says how's your bracket doing?
In the first video up there, you'd

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think it would be about this basketball
challenge. It is how to defeat cultural

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00:21:26.279 --> 00:21:33.440
Marxism in America's a YouTube video on
that. Okay, you play that,

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00:21:34.160 --> 00:21:41.599
how do you do it? Tell
me how how to video it? Oh?

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All right? More fake Ted Cruise. I gotta add that to Danny's

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00:21:44.279 --> 00:21:51.640
list of and please okay, Fake
Ted Cruz joins Jackie Gleeson and Krusty the

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00:21:51.680 --> 00:21:57.000
Clown. Can you imagine if finally, in all of world history, the

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first perfect bracket ever is finally completed, right mm hm? And like there

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was websites that offer you, I
think, one hundred million dollars, you

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know, I mean you can just
pick any numbers like you don't. Has

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it ever been done? Like,
no one time, not on record,

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00:22:11.240 --> 00:22:15.720
not on record, never wants a
perfect racket. And you and it's finally

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00:22:15.839 --> 00:22:19.680
done, and it's only completed at
ted cruiz dot com, and you win

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00:22:19.720 --> 00:22:23.920
a chance to play one on one. That's what you get. The odds

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of a perfect bracket are one in. I can't even even number for this.

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00:22:30.279 --> 00:22:32.880
It's nine Comma two two three,
Comma three seven to two, coma

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00:22:32.880 --> 00:22:37.079
O three six eight five four seven
five eight away. That's not that's more

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00:22:37.079 --> 00:22:41.680
than trillion. Anytime they have the
exponentials on a number and they start putting

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letters in it, yeah, we
love that. Like if your calculator gets

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confused and can't give you an actual
number and it's just yeah, yeah exponents.

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00:22:52.200 --> 00:22:55.079
Yeah, you know, it's big. That's wild that no one's done

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00:22:55.119 --> 00:22:59.640
one though. I mean, those
are incredible odds. So I'm looking at

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the Store of how one fan came
close to a perfect March Madness bracket,

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then he missed one game by Ben
Rogers. Apparently guy doesn't like okay,

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00:23:14.759 --> 00:23:18.799
we should go now. Why always
every time we get cooking okay, we

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00:23:18.880 --> 00:23:22.319
have to suddenly stop coming up next
to you. Guys are killing your quarter

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00:23:22.440 --> 00:23:27.359
hour shares. Oh, by god, time conspiracy. In the world of

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00:23:27.440 --> 00:23:33.880
sports. This clock one of the
most popular autile time stolen from or was

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00:23:33.920 --> 00:23:37.200
he doing his buddy a favor next
time he sidn won the freaking