Uh, what is up? Hopefully we just we just spoke with you guys,
what like a few minutes ago, like a couple of hours ago for
vander Pump the the Reunion Part two. If not, go back and listen
for it. Okay, it's in your feed, in your cue and you're
although you might be listening to this first, because if you're anything like Stephanie,
you're living for the Valley. I have to tell you that John,
that John very rarely watches like these kind of reality shows with me. Last
night, He's like, uh, are you watching The Valley? And I
said, yeah, I have to take notes on it because I'm recapping it.
And he was like, okay, well call me in, call me
in for that. It's like, okay, I have to do vander Pump
first. You want to watch that. He's like, nope, just call
me in for the Valley. I mean, I'm glad you guys love it.
I can't say that I do. I'm more into it than I thought
I would be. But this isn't my show. It's just not my show.
I mean, I'm gonna make it my show like it's my show for
us. I don't there's so either now. I sound like Joe. I
don't know, for I just think that there's there are actually worse characters on
this show than vander Pump. I yeah, I mean if we're basing it
on that, then yes, yeah, I think that's what I'm I'm enjoying.
Well, Jack, people are just monsters. Yeah, I mean there's
a lot to get to. Like I texted Steph during the thing because I
get it like three hours before you for some reason, and I was like,
it is jam packed. There's a lot that goes on in this episode,
and I'm here for it. So so let's start with Jack's speaking of
should we should we just mention that on Reddit there's a lot of talk about
the fact that Lala apparently is trying to get on the show she is and
Jack's is real mad. Like, first of all, the thing that just
kind of kills me is these people do take their their being on a TV
show so seriously, Like he constantly refers to it as my cast mates,
Like he just really feels like he is making television, like like like it's
his job, which it is, you know, But what kill what makes
me laugh is that they also try to act like you know, the bar
that they're opening is so important when it's like, dude, it's not you
don't care about the bar, you care about your TV show. And he's
like, yeah, I don't think that lawa. Those people they have a
show and it's Vanderpump Rules and they don't get to be on our show.
Like he's so ridiculous. Also, he's just it's the same as like love
with Arianna. Jackson is so jealous of the Toms because he wanted all that.
He said it. He said it before he got booted from the show
from Vanderbaum. He was like, well, I'm gonna get a bar.
Oh good, Like he was out of his mind, furious with like the
attention the Toms were getting and anybody, anybody that could make Tom Sandival.
If you had to choose between the two of them, I would choose Sandival
just to hang out with over Jax. I wouldn't date either of them,
but if I had to choose someone to like, somehow have to be in
my life. They're both nightmares. But Jacks, how awful do you have
to be that Sandoval's the better of the two? Oh, Jacks is terrible.
He is an abusive like joking aside he's a bad guy, and I'm
glad it's being caught on camera because maybe that will save somebody. Maybe that
will save Brittany. I mean maybe in it, maybe already did. Oh
he has one hundred percent like a personality disorder, Oh for sure. And
he's mean and so Ruth seems so coked up, he seems so drug addled.
But yet this whole episode is going to be about how awful he thinks
Brittany is, which is I just found so interesting. At the time I
was watching it, I was on the eve of my sober fifteen year anniversary
of quitting drinking. So I had a lot of feelings about this, a
lot of feelings abouts miss Brittany. Oh, let's get into Okay, Before
we get to even that, they kind of show a little bit of what
we left with last week about how he was trying to stir it up with
Michelle, sending naked picks or whatever. Yes, I was confused by the
cliffhanger churned like I didn't really understand because I thought she's saying she did do
it, and then she didn't do it. No, she's saying, yeah,
she was being at a very bad liar. She did. She said
she did do it because where we left off, Jacks was like Michelle,
So so Brittany said, or he blames it on Kristen, which is it's
not true. He totally throws Kristin under the bus when the person who told
him was Brittany. He says, or he and he he started it off.
But he says, you were texting men and sending sexy pictures and she's
like, yeah, I was. Then when we get back to the convo,
he's She's like, she just ignores that part about the pictures, and
she's like, yeah, well, Jesse's well aware of, like me texting
men because they're divorcing, because they already know they're divorcing, right, we
know that now, which is one of the things I don't like about The
Valley because that was just a bullshit storyline. They were already, like everyone
online is saying, like they're already separated, yeah, or separating for sure.
So I believe it. I believe that he his ego was hurt by
the fact that she's leaving and he was wanting to like her to come back
and make him look better, and I believe she was just like, I
don't care anymore. But then she's he's like, she's like yeah, but
it's like for work or whatever. And then Jackson goes, Okay, let
me be clear because Kristen said that you said that it's not for work.
It's just like some random guy that you were texting, like sexy pictures of
like you in address or you and blah blah blah. And she's like,
now, no, that's not true. It's like, okay, so you
are texting other guys, but not sexy pictures. And she's like yeah.
So then but it was a celebrity too. She's like a celebrity, like
a certain celebrity. Yeah. She's like, oh yeah, yeah, Jesse
knows about that. Yeah. So then Michelle says to the camera, She's
like, I mean, like whatever, maybe Jackson's bringing it up because he's
having marital issues. Like, no, bitch, you're having marital issues.
Like right, yes, Jackson's having marital issues. But like, like we're
trying to establish like some drama on this show and you're acting like you're on
four XANAX and you're like, I don't. I mean, yeah, pictures,
that's cool though, Like it's all good. So then Jacks goes oh,
okay. Jacks is confused, like we are, okay, he's Greek
chorusing a little bit. He's just like m like kind of to camera,
like okay, it's weird, but like I don't. So he's like,
okay, well, are you gonna talk to Jesse about it? She's like
yeah. So then Jax goes to yell at Brittany for throwing up. Yeah,
well, let's get into that, because that's we have. That goes
on throughout the whole episode, and I was so first of all, I
wasn't confused about the fact that he should never be screaming at her. She's
sick, she's she obviously has a migraine of some sort. Don't know what
caused it, so we'll get into that. But she has like you know
when you used to us migraine, like right in the middle of my head
and you get naw. She's in a dark room, she's covered whatever,
and he's yelling at her. Everyone else is normal. Why can't you be
normal? And he seems, like you said, totally coked up? Correct
Now. At first I thought it was fake because I was like, all
he cares about is becoming a sand of all storyline type level thing. That's
what they're trying to do. That's like why we were mad at the Valley
to even begin with. So do you think it's real? Like do you
think their break this fight and the breakup is real or do you think it
was all for TV? Because I literally cannot tell. Okay, I think
he's Here's what I think, Okay, And it's different from what I thought
last week. My opinion has changed, Okay. I from everything that Jack's
was saying, I definitely think that Brittany has a drinking problem. And last
week I said I think she was just carsick from everything that we're seeing.
She wasn't. She's she might be carsick. And this I was actually trying
to have this telling John this last night. Okay, when somebody has like
an alcohol issue, first of all, all of any of us and anybody
who's listening knows this. It's all we do is go, oh, I
was The problem is I hardly had anything to drink, but I was drinking
on an empty stomach. That's the problem. This is not a hangover.
This is a migraine. That's a classic because usually you don't think you had
that much to drink. She says, it later too, She's like,
I only had I'd had nothing to drink. I had two drinks, two
big cocktails. Is that's a lot to drink. I mean, that's not
nothing, right, and it's probably not true. You're right. Well,
Also, as I said to John, like a lot of times, I
did feel like it's so weird that I'm this hungover because I don't feel like
I had very much, and other people I felt like, could drink a
lot more than me, and I would get drunk, you know, and
yet not think I was drunk. So when you're arguing with people about your
drinking and you're like, but I wasn't even drunk, that's how you feel
like. You don't think you're lying. You're like, I don't understand,
like I was just drinking along with everybody else. Like why am I the
one who ends up getting like drunk and then hungover and sick? And I
swear to you that has happened to me so many times. I remember being
in this relationship, remember the old boyfriend that I told you about, the
one I lived with. Of course, I always felt like he and I
would get in these big, like drunken arguments, and I always felt like
I don't understand, like I would get drunk, we'd go on like a
camping trip or whatever. I know, for can you believe I went on
a camping trip. We went camping for you. I was drunk. We
got some beer. I had a couple of beer. All I remember is
having like a few beers in the car while we were driving to the camping
trip. I was so drunk. He had to pull over so I could
throw up. I was too sick to help put the tent up, Like,
and I remember just taking over or actually being drunk. You were so
just but having some drinks, whether it was an empty stomach. But I'm
saying, like, many years later, I acknowledged that I have alcoholism,
Like I can't drink the way other people can drink. And so here's the
problem, Jackson is saying, And we'll talk about his delivery, which is
horrifying and he's horrible. But he's saying, this has been going on for
ten years, Like he's tired of the fact that it's always an excuse.
And I am on her side and the fact that like she doesn't know she's
making excuses because she's not really able to acknowledge that like she can't drink like
other people, that this keeps happening, right, So, you know when
you're the person in your group of friends and you're drinking the same as their
drinking, but you end up feeling sick and like losing time from activities or
spending the next whole day in bed with a hangover, Like that's what was
happening to me. But I just didn't want to acknowledge that I shouldn't be
drinking because you're always like, but everybody else, I'm not doing anything different
than everyone else. Like in her mind, she's like, I'm not hiding
in a closet doing shots so that I can like drink more than everybody else,
So why does this keep happening? So in her mind she's like,
it must be because I have a sensitive stomach. And Jack says like,
no, dude, you're drinking right. So then when he says, as
you know, like I've I had, yeah, I dry, I had
two bottles of tequila. But I'm cool. I'm so amazing because I can
hold because you know why he can hold two bottles of tequila cocaine? Right,
cocaine? No? So what it is? Right? Well, he
has no empathy for the fact that she has addiction issues, and so instead
of being like, wow, okay, my wife has a problem, but
he's his in his mind, he's like, yeah, well I told her
you shouldn't drink. I should drink. But he has addiction issues, which
has gotten him fired from jobs. It's gotten him like a lot of bad
you know, stuff has happened there. But like, so he's gonna yell
at someone else. It's terrible. I have not, in any way,
shape or form, sticking up for him. Oh I know. I'm not
saying is she definitely has an alcohol This is not she's just having stomach issues
because because because like you just said it, She's like, I didn't have
I had zero drinks. Okay, well by zero, I mean a few
drinks, but no more than anybody else had. But yet I end up
feeling sick, So it must be because I have a stomach ache. And
Jackson is just calling out the fact that like, no, it's from drinking,
which it is from drinking, But that doesn't mean that he should be
treating her like that. Yeah, I agree, I hear you. I
agree with you. I agreed on that too, because I kept writing in
my notes like does she have is he had his wits end? But then
I remember, like, oh, but it's Jack's and he's a it doesn't
like her, so he doesn't care about her or actually helping her maybe get
help. He doesn't give a shit. I think I think he's not attracted
to her anymore, Like he's done. I this is I'm just going to
be totally real. I think Jack's is the kind of nightmare asshole that she
probably gained the weight that she gained after she had their kid, and I
think he's always kind of struggled a little bit with that, but he didn't
mind it so much before. Well yeah, and now I think he's just
like, screw this, I'm not attractive to her. I don't want to
have sex with her. He's the way he's always saying, like, we
don't have sex, but she's the one going like, let's have sex,
right, And he's the one who makes excuses. I think he's done with
the relationship and he wants everybody else to blame her and go, do you
see what I have to deal with? And yeah, I know we're going
to do that because you look like a fucking nightmare, abusive asshole. And
he just thinks he he somehow thinks he's going to look like the hero that
everyone's going to be like, Yeah, she's a nightmare. Can you believe
you have to deal with this woman who drinks when the fact is she doesn't
drink that much, she just has addiction issues. Well, we don't really
know what she drinks. We don't know, we don't know what he's trying
to say. You know, we don't know exactly. But I think she
drinks more than she means too. I think she has what I had.
That's why I'm just I see it. I see myself and her. I
think she drinks more than she means to on a regular basis. It happens,
and she's always surprised by it. And you know, I don't know
if she'll I don't know if she'll get sober. That's like her business.
And she's trying to kind of keep up with the Joneses because I remember,
like the next day with they're all drinking wine at nine am, right,
porn champagne and whatever. It's like they're on a trip. Okay, that's
fine, no judgment, but like, what the fuck is she supposed to
do? So whatever Jack's wants he can do. I've always been so frustrated
by the fact that, like, and I think it's why it's me so
long to quit drinking is that I always felt like I don't understand, like
I'm not doing something. Why can't I manage to handle like having mimosas.
I was always the person that like, if I had mimosas during the day,
I was like sick and having to like go to bed right, whereas
other people were like, you know, you go to Vegas and people are
like partying during the day at the pool and then going out at night and
I'd be done. Yeah, I had I think we thought him. I'm
not going to name names, but I dated someone who explained that to me
because I would always say, like, why can't you just go have one
drink and not like get wasted. This was a conversation that we'd always have
privately, not on a reality show, and fell at him and he would
say, I can't stop it. His thing was, I can't stop it
one, so if I have one, I'm going to have ten. I
can't explain it, like, and I was like, I don't understand,
why can't you just have one? Like it was. That was the constant
conversation. And then I think someone told me about alan On. You know,
it's not really my business and it's not for me to control, and
I can just choose my life. But I'm not gonna yell at you know
what I mean, Like that's for him, right, and you know he
would kind of come in and out of help and rehab and stuff, and
he was trying and but's that was what he explained to me, which might
be a different thing, but he was just like, yeah, I can't.
I literally can't have like a beer, right. I don't understand that.
But I think that whether or not I can't make a determination of whether
Jacks has an alcohol problem, but if her, if the way she drinks
bothers him, I don't think that. I don't think anybody has to be
with somebody that like is an alcoholic. But then leave right, And you
can also be gentle with the conversation too. If you really care, you
could say it on camera if you think that's going to help her get sober
or whatever you think she needs. But say, honey, I love you,
But I think it's time for the cameras to roll on this conversation,
but his his thing that he's saying, which I I think he's wrong.
Like he's basically going like, I've tried all that, I have been nice,
and all she does is like drink and I've been dealing with this for
ten years and I'm really frustrated. And what I'm saying is like that is
no excuse to be an abusive nightmare. Then don't bring it. Then,
don't be on the show. Don't end your marriage, which sounds like he
did. Yeah, well I'm sure I hope she did, but I really
hope she did too, because like that's definitely not going to help her.
He's not helping her by shaming her. Okay, so let's come back to
that, because it's going to keep coming back, yeah, Michelle. So
Michelle, Michelle goes to talk to Jesse. Yeah, and she's like,
oh my god, you're not going to believe like another fucking Kristen crazy story.
Everybody's trying to throw Kristin under the bus, which is probably necessary more
than I guess would be the word, but like not maybe in this case.
Yeah, we spend enough time with Kristen to know. Yeah, but
they're really trying to like anything that goes wrong, they're trying to say,
is her fault? Is it all her fault? I mean, I didn't
watch the episodes that you watch, so I don't know. On this one.
A lot of things are her fault. I mean, I'm just I
don't dislike her the way vander Pump dislikes her, but I'm you know,
she's super annoying. So yeah, I could see why Kristin would be the
scapegoat though, because it's the easiest because they already don't like her. Yeah,
But at the same time, like this is her show, Like she's
the reason that this is a show, and I feel like I feel like
they need to like understand that there wouldn't be a show if it wasn't for
her. This is supposed to be like her comeback, and they're just right
all coming for her constantly even when she's not there. Then they have Okay,
so remember how last week we said that what is it Nya and Danny?
Nia and Danny are a couple? He thought, didn't we say they're
the couple goals? Yes, now I have to I'm going to push back.
Okay, Naya, Yes, I think I need So far, so
good, But Danny. What's going on with Danny In the scene where he's
trying to have a conversation, is you just like super high? Seems just
like really baked? Right, I don't know, but let's not skip over.
This is a major scene, okay with the pictures where she's like,
yeah, Kristen's Kristens came up with this crazy coka mami's story about me texting
sexy pictures, and Jesse, who's just the biggest asshole of all times,
is like, Jacks, get up here here. I am so tired of
these games of telephone. Let's bring him up here. Let's hear it from
the horse's mouth. So Jax is like, oh shit, Okay, Well,
he's busy yelling at Brittany, and he's like what Like he's like in
the middle of screaming at her, He's like, I'm beating my wife.
Can you give me a bit, you fucking alcoholic? Okay, I'll be
right back, yeah, yes, And he's so hyped up when he comes
down. He's so excited to be part of the drama because he's like,
now it's a show. Yeah. So he's like, all right, Jack's
Michelle's telling me that's something about you said that. Kristen said that she was,
what texting somebody, and Jackson's like, okay, Rah, okay,
brother, Okay. So here's what happened. Kristen told me. And we
know she's full of shit. That's step bitch is full of shit and I
don't like her, but I'm just saying. She said that Michelle was like
texting sexy pictures, like to a guy. So Jesse's like, well,
you know, she's like in real estate, oh so, and Michelle's like
yeah, but like I'm in real estate and like so like he knows that
I have to network, Like Jesse understands that. And Jesse's like yeah and
then you love it, yes, And Jackson's like, okay, but I
don't know if you guys are hold on, let me back up a minute.
This is not having nothing to do according to Kristen. This has nothing
to do with real estate. This is just a random like celebrity and these
are like sexy pictures. And Jesse goes, he's drunk, by the way,
you know that, right, He's hammered from the earlier from the boat
trip thing. He's like where he was fighting, like trying to have a
fight club. Yes, course he's hammered. He's like, do you see
how bothered I am, like not bothered at all, Like I'm not a
jealous person. Then to camera, he's like, you know what I try
to get Michelle. I try to get you know, we're in sales.
I try to get her to get new leads, Like I'll send her into
a room with five guys and go go get their numbers. Yeah, like
he's a pimp. He's like a hold on, like yeah, go do
it and do it in front of me until that and think about me while
you're doing it, and then send them a picture of your pussy Like he
just is a psychotic mat like what and it is? And then this is
the only time I ever liked Jack's He's just like, what is happening?
He says to camera, He's like, Okay, if Brittany sent sexy pictures
to some random guy, like I lose my mind. And then I just
wrote Jesse is very drunk. Jesse is drunk. But also then I got
triggered by Jackson because it's just one extra thing of him being controlling, Like,
of course Brittany shouldn't send sexy pictures to a random guy right at the
same time, Jackson, I fucking coll he But at least that's a very
normal response. Like I think it's very weird that Jesse's like, yeah,
cool, cool, Like you know, it's cool, like she likes to
flaunt her body to like just the guy she meets. I was in a
seven year I have not been married, like if I was in a long
term A lot of long term relationships. One was really long seven years.
And I would send a bikini photo every day to Danny DeVito because like,
I bet he'd like it. I bet he doesn't get a lot of sexy
bikini photos. I'm sure Ria Pearlman just loved that those, like I'm sure
Maria was just like Cecily, whether it's good stuff, whether Ria liked it
or good stuff, I love it. You work on your thighs a little
bit, but otherwise really good. You want to do a walk on a
Cheers, Cheers the show that's been canceled, I mean over, not canceled,
never for like thirty years. Listen, I don't have any strings anymore,
but I could get Jimmy Burrows on the line. Now we're probably you
guys, are we made that We've of course, of course, But you
know who else lost an audience? Like Danny when he's trying to have this
conversation, he's like, yeah, bro, like it was pie. I'm
gonna just assume that he was just tie because he wasn't making any sense and
he cannot get the words out. And then Jesse does one of his plant
based hugs, it like long ayahuasca hugs. And that's when I wrote,
Okay, I don't like, have you changed scenes? Maybe on me?
What scene are you on now? I'm where Danny's trying to have a can
I skipped over. No, we I thought we'd finished. Jack's just yelled
at Brittany. He's oiled up, he's all hyped. Yeah, but don't
forget too, don't forget that. I have one thing to say about the
girls being in the kitchen talking about the Santa Clarita talking about how oh yeah,
it doesn't want to move to Santa Clarita, while she's saying that she's
just wearing a giant like American flag bedazzled sweater, and I was like,
girl, I thought I liked you, Like why it's so funny you say
that? Because after that, which I didn't even write down. I remember
that, But then I was this conversation Danny and Jesse, and I just
wrote, Okay, I don't like any of these people. That was the
point, which and I think the American flat like her shirt also got in
there. I was like, this is just insane except for I guess Nya.
Overall all the cree boring, right, you're talking about Nya. I
think it's Naya. It's Nia. Are you one hundred percent sure? Because
someone said Naya in this episode, so I wrote it out as Naya really
like I spelled it that way on purpose, but I mean, if somebody
we should know that. But listen, give us a break. We came
in one episode ago to the show. What's the name of this show?
It's like the sand It's the San Fernandi San Fernando game, San Fernandi game
that it's the Apple Dumpling sand Fernando game, is it not? I mean,
I could be right, could I'm I'm probably wrong If you heard somebody
call her that what I thought? You know what? No, No,
We're going to own our fucking mistakes. We're just gonna keep We're gonna keep
rolling. Okay, I'm gonna look it up as you as you take us
into the next cool we know there's probably it has nobody's going to be like
it's it's somebody knows. Remember, okay, peek behind the curtain. Cecily
and I were saying on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, we were saying Anne
Marie and I I doubled down on Anne Marie and it was Anna Marie not
spelled that way. But like, look, if you have a name that
can be pronounced two ways, we're gonna go with it. We're gonna pronounce
how to play the YouTube video of how to pronounce it. Okay, but
but it's how how would we know? It's one of those things where's like
how to pronounce Yeah, but it's nyah nyah. Remember we also did this
on You Got Dallas. Remember how about that name that's Nia. It's not
it's is it n I r n y n y a. It's an I
A damn I don't know Lynn, yeah exactly. Anyway, it's just a
really said Naya on the show. So I'm just saying, all the only
way we can really find out is if we can get her on the show.
Because let's they were to be fair with Arianna. Remember she is Arianna.
That's how she's She's Arianna except for with shorts, who calls her Arianna
some reason. I mean, I wouldn't accept that if someone my name is
Cecily, if someone was calling me Cecily on a reality show I was on
with them for twelve years, I'd be really annoyed. Some people like to
call you ceci and they just do it. They do it and they own
it, and you love them for it. We do love them for it,
we do, we do. Okay, so Nia and ayah. She's
like, she's like, I was looking at some pictures of by the way,
I'm really sad because I have the baby blues, but I was looking
at some pictures of Santa Clarita because Danny was like showing me some houses and
like I was kind of pretending to be interested, but I don't want to
move to Santa Clarita. And the other girls are like the girl you got
to say, like you don't want to move to Santa Clarita, And she's
like, yeah, I'll have to say something. Who isn't that said at
some point for women, we're really easy going? Was that her that said
for women? I mean if you're dealing with women, We're pretty cool for
women, We're smart, I mean for girls. That was an okay,
So now there's this scene where Jesse is still drunk and he's sort of apologizing
to Danny kind of and Danny's like, Brah, like you just can't like
you're so mean to me or whatever. The Jesse goes, you know what,
when I looked at you at the beach, I saw a guy with
thick skin. I was wrong. You're a pussy. Yes, yeah,
they're like dude, He's like and then Jack's for no reason Cecily, and
this just kills me. Anytime Jax can go like Brittany never I never have
sex with my wife. He just yells it out. It's like a Tourette's
thing. It's like he will bring it into any conversation. They could be
like, do you guys want a barbecue chicken for dinner? And he's like,
I haven't fucked Brittany in a year. Yes, it don't be mad
at me. If we split up. My fault. She's a drunk Cocaine
just coming out of his veins. Doctor. If he went to the hospital,
We've never seen this before. Your throat is made entirely of adderall.
We didn't even know that was possible. Jack's look at it. Look you,
he just leaves a white coating on the ground when he walks. It's
like coming through the bottom of his shoes. It's like, what, what's
happened, What's going on? What's this white potter the princess got? His
footprints are cocaine? Like, you can't if he walks in the snow,
there's nothing. You can't see any because it's white on white. It's white
footprints on the snow. Right he does that poem, He's like, when
I was walking, when I was then, there were no footprints. It's
no cocaine was carrying me super hot or you were just super high on cocaine.
It was coming out of your feet. It wasn't because Jesus was carrying
you, unless Jesus is your dealer, because I mean, dude of the
balls on that guy? Yeah yeah, all right. Then Jesse also anytime
that Jackson is like I never fought Brittany. Jesse's like same. They're the
two of them. They are like some of the worst people I've seen on
our screen. They are. And then Danny I know, we're supposed to
lie him, and we do like him. He seems like a nice guy,
but I'm so annoyed with him in this conversation. Yeah, they're like
any of it, Dan. They go, Danny, you're great, man,
You're still having sex with your wife. And then they they're both like,
you're amazing. You're amazing for that. And then Danny goes like,
I expected that from Jason, because we don't forget Janet's husband, Jason.
Serious, Like, I kind of expected that from Jason and maybe from Jack's,
but Jesse Brouh coming from you, that means a lot that Well,
he's also doing male vocal fry, which I didn't think was a thing,
and I lost my fucking mind. He's also remember Jack's real name is Jason,
so for a second that's thought he meant, Oh, I didn't even
know that. That has you think he was named Jack's. Yes, he's
everything about him is no, he's Jason Taylor, so uh, I think
it's Taylor. But yeah, he's so the vocal fry coming off Danny is
just like like it was horrid fine, even like Monroe like left in the
door and left my apartment to this and I had to. I had to.
I don't like telling you these things, but I did have to fast
forward the vocal fry. I just put it on forward. Well then,
well then you don't know what happened. Well, I do know what happened.
They have a flashback to Jesse's spiritual retreat. Is that are you telling
about the part where all the guys start having a conversation about like how they're
not appreciated. Oh no, that's late. I think that's a little bit
later. This is just in that conversation because when he starts to get really
upset, oh, crying, That's exactly what you were just saying. It's
like I expected this, but like not from Jesse, and then Jesse kind
of fake cries. Then it goes to the girls. Remember, uh,
okay, well I may maybe I skipped around on my notes taking on this
part. What what what part of the girls? Well Janet? Okay,
so this when Janet comes out? No, oh yeah, this is not
okay, we're not there yet. When Janet comes out. This is a
very important conversation that I'm thinking you might have missed, but it's been the
talk of Reddit. It's so basically, when Danny's crying. He's like,
oh, yeah, I know, he says Michelle, They're done. That's
what you're talking about, right, No, not yet, it's one okay.
No. First first they're like, what's going on? What's He's like,
yeah, I've been going through a lot. Jesse's like you are going
through? Like what are you going through? And he goes, I just
feel like I'm constantly changing diapers, like for two hours, I'll be like
change changing diapers and like putting babies on boobs and like I just don't get
any recognition. And I did miss that. I definitely skip. And then
they all start talking about how they're like, yeah, man, like having
babies right, like it's so hard. It's like really hard, like all
of a sudden, like you have to do so much work. And then
Jesse goes, he's so bitter. He's like yeah, and they never fucking
appreciate it. And then Jacks is like, I know, man, like
it changes everything, like it's so much work, and he goes, that's
like like Brittany wants another kid, but like she's such a fucking alcoholic and
like she wants another kid, but like it's a lot of work, like
it's so much work, like it changes your life, and they don't.
They don't like appreciate it, like when you help. It's like guys,
seriously, they are just vile. They are just so completely vile. I'm
glad Iki because the women are like the default, like you can't just not
do it. Like the women are like, Okay, I'm glad you think
you're helping out, but like it's this called raising kids. Like you don't
get to just not do it. Like the woman doesn't get to just go
like, yeah, I don't think i'm in a parent today. Right.
And not only does Jackson not appreciate what Brittany does with their child, he
screams it her every single time she does just because she feels emotional because your
kid is crying, right, jack screams it are for that. There's right
thing she can do. She can't live a life, she can't do anything
that he can do. Right. So they're having this whole conversation and and
then Jack's goes, Jackson is like, that's why I don't want a second
kid, and then Jesse goes Michelle and I are done, Yeah that part
I got you. So so I fast forwarded a little book, right,
So then it comes out. She comes out right at that part, and
everyone's like out like and then Janet is just such a raging cus. She's
just like, oh no, you didn't shush me. Uh. Then Jack
says, you can't shush a girl. You can't shush a girl. You
can scream at your like baby mama in her face, but you can't shush
her. Don't trust her. That's pretty yes. The jet it's like,
okay, oh no, I am cooking for ten people and you just shushed
me. I will not be shushed. You get you know what? You
can all make your own food. Then and they're like, oh shit,
Jason, go go talk to her, and so well, at first she's
not going to talk to him. He's like, Paz, Yeah, she
storms out the most dramatic like this is like the craziest thing that everybody.
It's like, Janet, did you not see Jack's screaming and yelling at Brittany.
She's acting like she's just been abused, like she now needs a restraining
order against these guys for shushing her. She also throws Brittany under the bus
when Jason goes in there. Who Jason is the real hero when we thought
I thought it was Danny. It's not Danny. He's annoying me. It's
Jason. He's the best guy I've ever seen on a show. Now,
later, during another conversation, which you're going to remember, John goes,
okay, did Jason? Is he the hero of this episode? He's the
hero of all the episodes. I think he's the only normal, stable human
on Bravo. Yeah, but I just, yeah, I can't. He
has to be so like walk on eggshells with I get it. Janet's pregnant,
she's emotional. She throws Brittany. She's like, oh, I don't
understand the girls. And Brittany's passed out. So that was a little clue
to I'm upset, I'm hungry, and I'm pregnant, and Britney's passed out
because she's an alcoholic, right, and Jasmine and I are the only ones
who are doing anything. We're the only ones cooking. You need to realize
that you have a pregnant wife who's hungry and cooking. Jennet, we get
it, you're pregnant, right, the first person has ever been pregnant.
They're having this conversation. Then Jack's is going on and on again, right
about Brittany being wasted? Is she? And then I'm like, well she,
what the fuck? Why is he so stuck on this so aggressively?
But then Brittany hears it, She's matched, like fuck off, fuck off,
dracs rock all. He starts asking the women. He's like, all
right, I'm gonna go around. I'm gonna take a pole. It's an
informal poll. Okay, but it's a pole. Nonetheless, how many drinks
did she have on the boat? Okay, you're being pulled right now.
This is important. Your boat is going to be kept private though, And
all the women are like zero, which you know they're lying for her,
and Jack's all kinds of crazy. Then Jax is like, well, you
know what, she could ride it out. They're like, but she's really
sick. She's she And he's like, well, I don't care. She
could do what she always does, write it out, deal with it.
She's drunk, she's awful, She's an awful person. Yeah, she's like,
Jacks, are you riding? But here's the thing too, Like,
I don't think she was drunk in this episode. She might have a drinking
issue, but she did not seem dry. I think she was. She
was being sick in the car. She was she was sick from alcohol.
She just can't handle her alcohol. She has a couple of drinks, she
probably had a few shots. She was in the sun on a boat and
she got sick. It's so interesting. I like this conversation because it's so
interesting our different perspectives. And I'm like, I don't know. I think
she had like I you see things that I don't see because I've never thought
about it like that, you know, And I mean when you're here,
and I don't think Jax is lying. When you hear that this has been
going on, and she's basically admits it. She's like, yeah, okay,
and that's why she wanted to be kept a secret because she's probably just
doesn't understand why she keeps getting sick every time she drinks. Well, I'll
tell you this. She does say this, He's sucking away all my sparkle.
He's sucking away all my sparkle. And I don't know what Now I'm
gonna get my sparkle from me mo. She does admit. She's like,
look, I you were drinking too, though, Finn, She's not like,
it's not like she needs to be taken to the hospital because she's having
some crazy stomach issues. She knows, she knows that she gets sick when
she drinks. I'm just like, it's not fair because you drank too,
And he's like, yeah, I drink a lot, but you don't see
me being sick. It's like, like sick is like that's the only litmus
test though, exactly, Yelling and being a nightmare of a human exactly.
And I think that's Britney's things. She's like, but I'm not acting crazy.
I was just having fun. I was having fun. I had a
couple of drinks. I didn't get drunken out of control. But now I'm
sick, Like, why can't you feel bad for me? Oh God,
I agree, Jannels. They're both. They're both. I mean, I
believe that she has a drinking issue. It's not good for her to drink,
but I also believe that, like, she wasn't getting crazy and doing
crazy things. I mean, we don't really know. Jack's is a hard
That's the thing I kind of come back to. And you know what,
they don't know what to say, so they're all kind of saying the right
thing in that they just need to get therapy. Everyone Janet, Everyone's like,
you know, I think you need a third party. Everyone's they really
are stuck in between something where they're like, yeah, they do know she
drinks, but I don't think she drinks, like you said, any more
than jack Definitely not more. She just can't handle well. So he says,
he's like, this is what we talked about at the beginning of the
episode. He's like, yeah. She's like, you drink too, and
he's like, yeah, I had two bottles of tequila today. You don't
see me acting crazy. That's not a good thing. Jack's. That just
means you can drink a lot more because you've built up a really high tolerance,
or like you said, you're doing a bunch of coke. That's not
something that about really the only thing I can think I have a theory on
Jackson. Now, this is kind of a deep cut, so bear with
me on this. I think he's I think he's ready to file for divorce.
You know, he's ready to go, like you said. But then
he's trying to publicly publicly make the case that she's an alcoholic. Yes,
so that he Okay, this is a deep cut. This is just a
random theory. I have no proof of this, but maybe so he can
get custody, so he gets child support. That is my theory, because
he's so vile that it's possible that, like he's got this whole thing planned
out, so I don't that could be mm hmmm. He doesn't want to
work. He wants it to be the you know, well, I guess
he works a little. With the shitty bar that Brittany tells is like every
time I'm go with that bar gets worse. There's just chairs in the middle
of the room, no tables. Yeah, but we've heard from reliable sources
that he didn't even they've made no investment in that bar. It's just like
the backyard of somebody else's bar that they are using, letting him use his
no I get people to come in, like when we used to stand up,
like can we host a show? And you're already right, not a
job, Like that's not him. He didn't actually invest in a bar.
He's acting like there's so much pressure on him. I think that is all
one hundred percent bullshit. I believe this is the moment where Jasmine says this
is the baby moon from Hell, which should be the name of this episode,
obviously. So then we move on back to Britt and Jack's the next
morning, I guess, and she's like, we got top, and then
he goes, what do you want to talk about? Yeah, like none
of that had happened. There's something very wrong with this man. Yes,
yeah. So then she you know, she's mad, but she does a
typical abuser thing where he's like, yeah, I'm sorry, I got a
little crazy, but like you didn't deserve that, like you know, and
he goes he literally says it'll never happen again. Uh huh, Oh my
god. Yes, that really was triggering, like all the things, because
she she you make it so terrible a person like that makes it so terrible
that you just want any sense of normalcy. She she has no way out.
She feels stuck because she's got a kid with this guy. Yeah,
I mean, what the hell? And so, you know, I mean
that's scary for her. She's got she wants to keep his temper in check.
She wants to good day, but she also doesn't want to be a
total dish rag. So she's like, yeah, but you were real Maine
chucked up everywhere I did chuck up. I did I just threw up on
everything? Right? But Jackson's like, well, what do you want me
to say? Like, I said, I'm sorry, Okay, what do
you want me to do? You're what do you want me to do?
Vomit bags gets name? What do you want me to do? Drunkie?
What do you want to say? I said, I'm sorry, Okay,
it's never gonna happen. Yeah, okay, our relationship is going to be
perfect now okay, okay, is that what you want to hear? She's
stuck because now, like I said, this is the part where people start
pouring wine and bloody Mary's and like what she's not She has has to sneak
it. She's not there yet where she thinks, where she recognizes maybe her
alcome, maybe she is. I don't know, but like, now,
what does she do? Well? And then he's like, but you better
not fucking have one drink today or we're done. Did he say that?
He says it to everybody else, He says it to them. He's like,
if she has one drink today, we're done. That's it. My
god, Oh my god. Yeah, oh that should fix it. Well,
then let's let's pivot to Zach because This made me laugh, so so
Zach. Meanwhile back in La in the valley, Okay, I have one
more thing to say before we get to the Zach scene, which is that
the next So then they're making breakfast and Jesse goes, does anybody have a
crimfrush like I? Because I need the crimfrush. I can. I can
make eggs, but I need crimfrush. He's such a new deud such as
he's such a bag. Yeah, okay, okay, this part is also
and I don't know how to feel about it. Okay, I have a
lot of actually thinks to say about First, Zach posts a story that's really
scary, scary. He puts an instant Sorry, why are they all funny?
You didn't think that was funny? Well, I thought it was funny,
but I just thought it was like, why are they even looking at
their insta stories? Why take a break? You're in Big Bear? But
he posts and puts his location as though he's in Big Bear, like he's
coming for them, and just a black screen with just location big. I
laugh out loud, and of course it worked. Jan It's like freaking out.
He fucking kids, he knows how nervous I am with this pregnancy.
He's gonna kill my baby. She's gonna blame it all on Zach and something
happens to her pregnancy. He's coming for us, He's coming for us,
He's and then they're all like, oh no, he's is he? Is
he here? Do you think he's really here? She's like, I think
he's probably is, Like he's psycho, he's really psycho. But I mean,
meanwhile, it shows him not being psycho with Kristen. But here's where
I thought, have you ever, okay, ever been excluded from a group
and then so you're like by default with this other group and then you try
to act like that was the group you want to be with anyway, I
feel like that is what's happened. So now poor Zach is being stuck with
Chris it yes, and it's just kind of a sad losory moment with their
feet, like you're doing like footbats. He's like, this is the best,
yeah, but it's not the best, and he knows it's not the
best. And then it shows like kind of Christian's apartment in the valley.
It's like this isn't so amazing, Like it's just got like a triple chin
like leaning back and she does the thing where she's like, oh, I
have I've got a plan, you know, with her finger, like making
her fingers into like a triangle. Yeah, you know what I mean,
Like we'll get them. You can play that game. And it's just the
saddest thing because the game is it just shows them back in Big Bear just
having like a lovely glass of wine with like the most beautiful backdrop with their
friends. Yeah. Poor is Zach, who, by the way, as
we said that was that was Britney's friend from back home from right, So
like why did he get fucked over? Which is his point as well,
how did he get hurt? I don't know, but the hair and they
also chiron Zach under his name when they showed him Kristen, they cairn Zach
not in Big Bear. I mean I felt for him in his acid washed
jacket and the two pe which, by the way, I know people will
come out to try to like there was a video of someone I told you
last week trying to pull his hair. I don't believe it. I think
it was staged. I just don't believe that. And that's fine, yeah
with it. No, I mean I guess right, like it just doesn't
make any sense. No different than a boob job. Absolutely not are pretty
obvious or extensions. I've had extensions, Yeah, have you ever had I've
had like the taped on ones, not the permanent, but like the ones
they just glue on. I've had those. Sure. And I had a
boyfriend always at the time, always point out that he could see every time
the wind would blow, He's like, you can see the tape. It
was like, can you stop, I'm sure, like but not in a
way like it wasn't like trying to help me, like, oh, we're
going to take a picture, you want to probably do the thing. But
he would just yell it out, would do the thing, okay, So
it made me sad. I will say I was dating a guy once,
uh once, many many many years ago, and he had his head in
my lap in a way that I could look down and see like sort of
his head. And no, he wasn't giving me oral sex. He was
literally just like laying in my left Stop Cecily, Cecily, stop envisioning it.
Don't think about that, God, all of you, it's so good.
You guys are disgusting. I don't do stuff like that anyway. I
was cradling kind of cradling his head, and I could see his scalp and
I saw like a white netting, and I was like, I never seen
yes, and I'd never experienced that before. I was like in my twenties.
He was young, he was he was he also in his twenty he
was probably thirty, like early thirties, a lot of dying, a lot
of guys wear like a hair piece like that, and it's I mean,
we get it, we get it, we do. We all do what
we have to do. You believe me, Yeah, But I just remember
thinking, like, WHOA, like you say something? No, I never
ever said anything, and he was very like secretive about it, like he
didn't want anybody to know. But later I started to realize, like once
I kind of understood a little bit more about like hair pieces, I started
to realize that I shouldn't have been that. Like it does look a little
bit obvious, but again, again, how many women at boob jobs.
But the thing is, like, it's it's tough because you can't really you
have to tell someone if you're in a related you're having sex with them,
you kind of have to. I mean, they're gonna they have to know
a couple that were married for years and she never knew whoa yep, And
he would make excuses to like go out and like, you know, get
his thing refurbished or whatever. Got to like, hey, upkeep on those
things, like to pay stuff up you yep, I didn't know that you
got to switch him out. A lot of men have like several maids that
are look exactly the same, so it just looks like you kind of washed
your hair. Oh poor thing. Though. That makes me so sad that
someone's in a relationship they can't I know, I've had that. Well,
they're they're not together anymore. They were married for like twenty five years and
then they got and she didn't know he had a new paper twenty five Okay,
no, that's on her then a little bit. But the next woman,
he's remarried and she like totally and he just decided to just be bald,
like fuck it, and she's his new Wifelake loves it. Well,
that's a beautiful I met before, really, I know, And I have
had the thing where when I had those teeth on extensions, you have to
be care like they're fine the first couple of days, like you know,
or first whatever, a couple of weeks, but you have to you need
upkeep. And I was like making out with somebody, and I'm like,
oh god. Every time he'd go to like touch my hair, you know,
I would like I'd hit his hand down. No, thank you,
sir. That's where I draw the line. Keep it below, below the
hair line, the belly button. Yeah, but or just like for some
reason, but Jash is only we're not going to do like a hair thing.
You're not going to brush the hair out of my eyes, no,
sir. No, get your hands on a puss and that's it. Get
your head in the game, sir. No, it's a thing. And
so we have full on empathy for Zach and maybe we're wrong. He's saying
it's not he's saying it's his hair, and maybe it is. I don't.
I don't no how come I know how we can't unless we unless I
hook up with him, which I'm willing to do for the show for journalistic
purposes obviously. So then they have like a split fishing, paddle boarding,
yoga sitch. Yeah, right, but I do like the fact. Really
quick, well, first of all, really quick, there was just another
little funny moment or Jesse, who I normally hate, is like rolling his
eyes Janet because she's still like, oh my god, what if he comes
here? Is he gonna bring kristin? Are they gonna come and ruin my
baby moon? Are they gonna rea havoc on my baby moon? And then
Jesse does a thing to camera where he's like, he's not he's just being
petty. He's not here, he's not coming. He's not gonna like pop
out of the bushes, right yeah. And then they go back to Zach
and Kristen and he's like, yeah, I'm petty, but I'm petty with
a purpose. You give me a purpose and I'll be petty. And I
was like, that's a fun moment. It was fun and I do like
him, and I like that they're trying to make lemons out of lemon.
You know you got to get a scene in there. Yeah, And weren't
you so happy to see that? I was like, let's focus back on
them. I don't even want to be in Big Bear with these other people.
I want to know what Zach and Kristen are doing. I agree,
I agree, okay, but this is this next scene is like iconic,
So back of the cabin real quick. Jasmine's doing Britney's hair, and they're
all trying to get out of going hiking or on it like a fishing trip,
which is super relatable. They're like, we're doing a yoga yeah,
and they're basically just going to stay back at the cabin and drink. Yeah.
So now there's a surprise, right, there's some surprise, is there.
I thought they were just lying. Oh, I thought there was no
I think they were just trying to get out of going with the guys.
Oh, that's funny. I wasn't sure. I wasn't clear on that or
didn't care enough could either way, I didn't. I don't know the answer.
They weren't there like we're bringing in like a yoga They're like going to
do a yoga thing, and the guys didn't want to do that, so
they got rid of the guys. But then they're like, no, we're
not really doing so the guys go fishing, and again, I don't you
know, I didn't really care at this point, did you. I mean,
I never really care when it's them. I don't know why, no,
And I know that's where all the big stuff happens. But this was
just a very funny scene. Okay, so Danny's Danny's like they're they're like,
yeah, like a woman who's like a little bit thick. And then
Danny goes, you know, yeah, like or Jesse goes, yeah,
like when I was first with Michelle, like she was bigger, like she's
she's smaller now. And then Danny goes, yeah, like I've never dated
somebody over like five two or five three, you know, because of like
I guess, like having a Napoleon complex. And Jason's like, hmm,
that's that's not a Napoleon complex, right, and complex is when like you're
short, so like you're an asshole to like overcompensate, and Danny, without
any kind of like oh are you sure, he just goes, oh no,
no, no, it's one hundred percent. It's when you're short so
you don't like dating taller women. And Jason goes, actually, that's that's
not what it is, and Danny goes, yeah it is. I mean
that's I mean, he's not the brightest in the show. In the confestions,
they all brought up their phones. How so dumb, how dumb these
are like grown adults that they don't even know what that means that they have
to like leon complex. How can you not, Like, haven't you known
what a Napoleon complex is for a million years? Yes, as a child,
and especially if he's short himself, Like you don't know your own thing,
you don't, he doesn't. That's also like really like not a funny,
like not a nice thing to say about yourself, Like you don't know,
and he doesn't have it. That's the funniest price. He doesn't have
a Napoleon complex because he's not that much of an asshole, right. She's
like, what if you didn't know what the word asshole is? Like I'm
an asshole and like, actually, we don't think you are. You're like
a really nice guy. And he's like, ah, definition of asshole someone
who really loves his white women, Yeah, who loves women in general and
treats them really well. And they're like absolutely not. It is like I
know you guys are wrong because you're wrong. You don't know a lot about
life, but yeah, I mean prove it, prove me wrong. And
they're like, well, now you are kind of being an asshole. So
it's tricky. That conversation was so ridiculous. Then we go back to Brittany.
Funny. I loved how he was just like doubling and tripling. He
just and Jason was being so calm. And that's when John was like,
he really is like the hero of this episode, right, yep, I
agree, the only one I was like, that is really funny. He
never was like, no, he's stupid idiot. He was just like,
h no, No, that's definitely not the definition of a Napoleon complex.
He's not so smart. I'm not sure it's pot anymore. He's just not
so smart. But then so it flashes over to Brittany and we already talked
about this where she's talking about the bar. She's like, I don't like
it when people say whenever instead of when. It always bothered me, even
growing up in small town Texas. What do you mean when she says she
says this a lot. Whenever anybody goes to the bar, they're like,
what where where's the tires? Just say if anyone goes to the bar,
or when people go to the bar they notice there's chairs in the middle of
the room. But it's always whenever, whenever. Whenever I've been back,
it just bugs me. I don't know why. I don't know why that's
interesting. I'm trying to I'm gonna now, I'm gonna hear it. Next
time you'll hear it. You won't hear it a lot because I don't think
you'll hear it from her. Yeah whatever, whenever you yelled at me,
Jake, I got mad whenever you yelled at me. Oh yeah, ever,
right, right right, And so she's going on about that, but
she still doesn't really totally get it right. So back on the boat,
the guys, Yeah, the guys, Jesse just suddenly because he Jesse has
substance abuse issues as well, he gets real mean when he drinks. Yes,
so that's a sign of it. And Michelle gets checked out. But
Jesse just gets mean and then out of nowhere, I mean, listen,
he has it coming, but kind of out of nowhere. Jesse's just like,
you know, he has that drunk, glazed look in his eyes,
and he just goes to Jack's I think you're full of shit. Yeah,
your wife wears the pants in the relationship. And then the other guys were
like, yeah, but he's you know, happy or whatever, and he
just goes, I think you're a fighter, and you're mean to your wife.
If she says this sky's red, you say you're an idiot, But
like he she would be an idiot if she said the sky was red,
right. I thought about that, like he's so drunk that he can't even
get the sky is blue right right, Like he's not making any sense,
but he's not wrong about Jack. So that was that was a hard one
for me because I was like, well, he's telling the truth. But
Jacks is like, oh, I'd never call my wife an idiot. No,
but you tell her she's just like a fucked up alcoholic badness, a
terrible mom. And yeah, yeah. Also when did Jacks grow a beard?
Because in this scene, all of a sudden he has a full beard
that he did not have that morning. Did you notice that? No,
it's very upsetting to me. I kept rewinding it, like did we jump
in time? Which is possible? Oh my god. Jack's was probably like
you know what we're doing, We're going back to Big Bear for pickups.
I just feel like we I don't think he got enough. I think it
should be more dramatic. I swear to you. If something was off interesting
kept, I was like, what the hell. They don't care. They're
like, this is this show. We're gonna keep filming it, but we're
not going to pick it up, right, so nobody care and jokes on
them because it got picked up. Of course. Ugh, I hate saying
that. I hate saying of course. All right, so Jax is like,
I'd never say that to my wife, and Jesse goes, you'll need
to prove your shove to your wife. Jack goes, we're under stressed.
We got multiple businesses. Am I a little aggressive? Do I get a
little in the face? Do I punch her in the face a little bit?
Do I like? Do I pressure around a little bit? Sure?
But it's under control. I'm cool, cool because she knows she deserves it.
Yeah. Also, then Jack's goes on the whole thing about how he
doesn't believe in divorce. You'll all be six feet under or whatever before you
find me separated. Cut up, dude, I mean, are you kidding
me that he says that? Like, is he joking? I do think
that they were already don't you think they were already divorced or separated when they
were filming? Yeah? Maybe not? Well, I mean I was confused
because I was one hundred percent sure that it was all just trying to do
a sandaball. So I wasn't sure if they were still together and pretending to
have problem, which is still possible, anything is possible, or they were
split and this show, let's keep it together for the show and for the
podcast, which is what they ultimately were able to do. Oh yeah,
but I mean, it just it just seems like Jack's wouldn't wouldn't be saying
all that shit if he really didn't think he was going to get separated.
So maybe probably right, I'm trying to guess, I'm thinking, I mean,
I'm hoping that maybe Britney's the one who called it quits. I mean,
I'm hoping not too. And I'm sure people already know this. I'm
sure they've talked about it on their podcast, which I guess we should listen
to at some point. I mean, are they doing the podcast as a
separated couple, yeah, but together and they're like talking about how they co
parent, and she just pretends to be all just yourself knowing Jacks. Anyway,
we're brought to you today. Bye. Interesting mm hmm, All right,
well, so then Jesse is like, well, don't ask me for
it, and they're they're like, we would never ask you for advice.
Uh, And then Jason says to camera, I don't think he's being honest
with himself talking about Jack's. Jason's like, he's either lying to us or
he's lying to himself, which is exactly what we're kind of saying. Yeah.
And then Jesse says, you know, this guy's where we were a
year ago, which tells you that he's known that he's splitting up with Michelle,
right, And you can tell that because she's so checked out and she's
just filming the scenes that she's told she has to and she can't stand up
right. But so I believe that the couple that is definitely pretending is Jesse
and Michelle, and I do believe she's like, all right, well,
we'll do this show, but where I do not ever get your penis anywhere
near me? Right, and I have a different I have another boyfriend,
and then a long hug pretending to care, you know what I mean,
but kind of like and want her back, but I think secretly he's probably
already dating someone else too. Yeah. So then we get a retrospective of
all the ways that Jack's is just horrible to Brittany. Yes, and we
go out severely, severely abusive, as though we could forget from this episode.
But yeah, yeah, now there's your valley. You asked for it.
We don't know how to say NYA. I say nya, she says
nia. At the end of the day, who cares. Yeah, we're
all just molecules. Thanks you guys. Join us for Patreon tomorrow, right
for today today, Yeah, that's happening. Yeah, so join us for
Patreon where we I mean, you know what we do on Patreon. If
you're already there, stay with us because you know we're coming. We're going
to gossip and next week. Let me just remind you that we have Anne
from vander pump On as a guest. I just want to let you guys
know. Yeah, thanks everybody for listening. We'll see you next week.
We're on Patreon hopefully. Bye bye, p and pin and pink Them