WEBVTT 1 00:00:01.040 --> 00:00:04.080 Hey, this is Chris with Hacking your Leadership. On today's discussion on employee 2 00:00:04.120 --> 00:00:07.519 engagement. I want to talk about the importance of the words that we use 3 00:00:07.679 --> 00:00:11.480 and the things that we say, and how words matter. An example I'm 4 00:00:11.480 --> 00:00:14.720 going to give of this is that maybe about two or three years ago, 5 00:00:15.160 --> 00:00:22.000 I started to hear a change in what people say when it comes to you 6 00:00:22.039 --> 00:00:26.039 doing something nice for them. Someone said to me, I appreciate you after 7 00:00:26.079 --> 00:00:29.440 I had done something for them, as opposed to you know, thank you 8 00:00:29.679 --> 00:00:35.640 or I appreciate it. And it kind of like took me, took me 9 00:00:35.679 --> 00:00:39.000 back for a second, and I started thinking, that's interesting, Like my 10 00:00:39.119 --> 00:00:41.759 go to would have been to say thanks, I appreciate it, or you 11 00:00:41.759 --> 00:00:45.600 know, thank you very much, and then them saying I appreciate you. 12 00:00:46.159 --> 00:00:51.560 It hit differently, and I mostly had differently because I hadn't heard it before, 13 00:00:52.079 --> 00:00:54.240 and I've heard it a lot more over the last couple of years, 14 00:00:54.320 --> 00:00:59.679 and it started to make me think about the importance of what words mean and 15 00:00:59.759 --> 00:01:03.680 the things that we say that can imply or say one thing when there might 16 00:01:03.719 --> 00:01:10.879 be something better to say instead, and and how these things can impact positively 17 00:01:10.959 --> 00:01:15.439 or negatively employ engagement. Because they absolutely do. How how you talk to 18 00:01:15.480 --> 00:01:19.200 your people absolutely impacts their level of engagement, and the things that you say 19 00:01:19.799 --> 00:01:23.920 will will engage them or disengage them for the moment, or for the hour 20 00:01:25.000 --> 00:01:27.079 or for the day. Yeah, I think words are so important, and 21 00:01:29.480 --> 00:01:34.680 I love that we're having this conversation because I think that there are there's terminology 22 00:01:34.959 --> 00:01:41.239 that I found myself repeating because I I remember how it felt when I first 23 00:01:41.280 --> 00:01:42.680 heard it from a leader, and I was like that, you know what 24 00:01:42.680 --> 00:01:47.200 I'm saying, So like that that made me feel like, okay, like 25 00:01:47.200 --> 00:01:49.359 like this, this this feels right, and it makes me feel inspired and 26 00:01:49.439 --> 00:01:53.000 motivated, and so I will tend to use some of that same language. 27 00:01:53.000 --> 00:01:57.640 And then the funny part is that then I've heard leaders that have worked for 28 00:01:57.760 --> 00:02:00.920 me that have now kind of become their own, independ leaders of their own 29 00:02:00.920 --> 00:02:02.439 teams. I've heard them say the things that I've said, you know, 30 00:02:02.519 --> 00:02:07.759 So it's kind of like this this this element of the importance of language and 31 00:02:08.000 --> 00:02:12.000 how we talk to teams and what we thank them for. And you know, 32 00:02:12.039 --> 00:02:14.639 I was having a conversation just the other day with someone who was you 33 00:02:14.639 --> 00:02:16.360 know, kind of like you know, providing me with some insight on something 34 00:02:16.360 --> 00:02:19.879 that it needs to get better. And they were just like, you know, 35 00:02:19.919 --> 00:02:22.400 hey, like I I like to, you know, I just want 36 00:02:22.400 --> 00:02:23.879 to share something with you, and like my style is like I like to 37 00:02:23.879 --> 00:02:25.639 just tell you kind of like how it how it is, and how I 38 00:02:25.639 --> 00:02:29.120 feel and what I see and what I think. And I hope that works 39 00:02:29.120 --> 00:02:30.199 for you. And I'm like, of course it does. Like I appreciate 40 00:02:30.240 --> 00:02:35.240 that you know that that approach because that's how I am. And and that's 41 00:02:35.520 --> 00:02:38.159 helpful for me when when you can kind of cut to the point in time 42 00:02:38.159 --> 00:02:42.120 me exactly what you're thinking. And then we had this great conversation and and 43 00:02:42.280 --> 00:02:44.159 and I thank the person, and you know, I say, I really 44 00:02:44.199 --> 00:02:50.039 appreciate you doing this because it takes it takes all of us to build the 45 00:02:50.080 --> 00:02:54.560 culture that we want to have together. But we have to be comfortable sharing 46 00:02:54.599 --> 00:02:58.840 the things that may be holding us back. And and like we we that 47 00:02:58.919 --> 00:03:00.000 has to be something that we can all do. We have to do it 48 00:03:00.039 --> 00:03:02.759 in a respectful way. We have to do it in a way that makes 49 00:03:02.759 --> 00:03:07.159 sense. And I was like, but I appreciate you telling me these things. 50 00:03:07.080 --> 00:03:09.840 And then kind of what I've been sharing a lot with people now is 51 00:03:09.879 --> 00:03:15.159 like, and so I need you to hold me accountable me personally because a 52 00:03:15.199 --> 00:03:17.560 part of my job of being a leader is making sure that these things change, 53 00:03:17.879 --> 00:03:21.879 get better, get addressed over time. So I'm going to come back 54 00:03:21.919 --> 00:03:23.520 in a couple of weeks and we're going to have another conversation. I'm gonna 55 00:03:23.520 --> 00:03:27.719 ask you how am I doing? How am I doing with this? Have 56 00:03:27.800 --> 00:03:30.560 you felt the impact yet? Yes or no? And I expect you to 57 00:03:30.560 --> 00:03:34.639 tell me has it changed, because I need to know that so that I 58 00:03:34.639 --> 00:03:38.000 can make sure that I'm holding myself accountable to do my job, even though 59 00:03:38.039 --> 00:03:40.599 what you're sharing with me is actually something that like, I'm not directly responsible 60 00:03:40.599 --> 00:03:45.439 for myself, like I'm not doing the thing right wrong, or in different 61 00:03:45.439 --> 00:03:47.759 that's causing you to feel this way, But I'm responsible for the leaders that 62 00:03:47.800 --> 00:03:53.400 do. And so I think that like having really clear dialogue, having phrases 63 00:03:53.400 --> 00:03:58.319 that you use, having things that become a part of your normal conversation, 64 00:03:58.360 --> 00:04:00.599 I think is really important. No, iletely agree with that. Something you 65 00:04:00.599 --> 00:04:04.800 said there made me think of something that that's really important around the concept of 66 00:04:04.879 --> 00:04:10.759 when when you're a leader, sometimes something can be not your fault, but 67 00:04:10.800 --> 00:04:14.560 still your responsibility, and it's something I'm trying to teach my kids right now, 68 00:04:14.599 --> 00:04:15.920 and I want to kind of put a pin in that, for lack 69 00:04:15.959 --> 00:04:19.519 of a better word, for another episode, because think it's really important as 70 00:04:19.519 --> 00:04:25.079 a leader to understand how you can have a responsibility to fix something even if 71 00:04:25.120 --> 00:04:27.879 it wasn't your fault. But I want to go over some of the things 72 00:04:27.920 --> 00:04:31.720 that I think good leaders say when it comes to increasing employee engagement. There 73 00:04:31.800 --> 00:04:35.639 are places where this is done better than others. There are leaders who do 74 00:04:35.720 --> 00:04:38.879 this better than the leaders. So I want to go over a few of 75 00:04:38.879 --> 00:04:41.439 those things that they say. But first I want to give up toward one 76 00:04:41.439 --> 00:04:44.439 of our sponsors. All Right, if you're a leader of people and you're 77 00:04:44.439 --> 00:04:47.360 trying to increase the level of engagement with your team, some things that you 78 00:04:47.399 --> 00:04:51.399 should try to make more a part of your vernacular. And some of them 79 00:04:51.439 --> 00:04:56.279 might be things that you say a version of already or or already say these 80 00:04:56.319 --> 00:05:01.000 things, but consider the way that they're being said and how little changes in 81 00:05:01.120 --> 00:05:05.000 the words or the way that you say them can impact the team positively or 82 00:05:05.000 --> 00:05:09.759 negatively, and impact the engagement of your people positively or negatively. Uh you 83 00:05:09.759 --> 00:05:14.120 know a lot of these things are are inquisitive. They're questions things like what 84 00:05:14.199 --> 00:05:15.959 do you need to be successful? You know, if what you're saying is 85 00:05:16.000 --> 00:05:19.800 as a leader, it's my job to hold you accountable. But it's also 86 00:05:19.959 --> 00:05:24.360 my job to make sure that I'm pulling out all the roadblocks that you might 87 00:05:24.399 --> 00:05:27.480 be having so that you can focus on getting this done in a way that 88 00:05:27.519 --> 00:05:30.240 will make you successful. You know, the what challenges are you are you 89 00:05:30.279 --> 00:05:32.800 facing? How are you really doing? You know, how are you really 90 00:05:32.800 --> 00:05:35.360 doing? Implies you care about them as a person, not just as an 91 00:05:35.360 --> 00:05:39.120 employer, what they can do for the business. You know, how can 92 00:05:39.160 --> 00:05:42.680 I support your growth? These are things that you can ask when you're talking 93 00:05:42.680 --> 00:05:45.360 about the future, not just what have you done for me lately? But 94 00:05:45.600 --> 00:05:48.519 I know this is this relationship is reciprocal, and I have a responsibility to 95 00:05:48.560 --> 00:05:51.920 make sure that you get out of this more than just a paycheck, a 96 00:05:51.959 --> 00:05:55.959 way to grow and a way to move forward if that's what you want. 97 00:05:56.879 --> 00:06:00.040 These are these are things that you should be saying to your people. And 98 00:06:00.040 --> 00:06:02.480 again, you might have versions of these that you think are the exact same 99 00:06:02.480 --> 00:06:05.600 thing, but they might come off differently depending on how they're worded, So 100 00:06:05.680 --> 00:06:10.120 really think about your words and how and how the right words matter. Yeah, 101 00:06:10.279 --> 00:06:15.079 I think it's a I think it's even beyond how you think about them. 102 00:06:15.079 --> 00:06:18.480 But I would even implore every leader to say, like, what what 103 00:06:18.680 --> 00:06:21.959 are those phrases in those words? What are the things that are going to 104 00:06:23.040 --> 00:06:27.759 define your leadership? You know? I would for a long time, I 105 00:06:27.759 --> 00:06:30.560 would say, you know, as leaders, you work for your people, 106 00:06:30.879 --> 00:06:33.000 like like my my, I actually work for you, like I work to 107 00:06:33.040 --> 00:06:38.160 make sure that you have what you need to be successful. Like part of 108 00:06:38.160 --> 00:06:43.519 my role is making sure I understand the things that are are helpful to you 109 00:06:43.560 --> 00:06:46.560 being successful, to understand the things that may be becoming roadblocks. But also 110 00:06:46.839 --> 00:06:49.519 a part of my role and working for you is making sure that I hold 111 00:06:49.560 --> 00:06:53.279 you accountable to the things that you committed to doing, and vice versa. 112 00:06:53.480 --> 00:06:56.399 So I would say the term like like, you know, leaders are like 113 00:06:56.439 --> 00:06:59.720 I work for you. Now. Over time, though, if people only 114 00:06:59.800 --> 00:07:04.040 can the catchphrase without kind of the context, right, you may lose all 115 00:07:04.079 --> 00:07:09.160 of the other sub elements of what that actually means. But that was one 116 00:07:09.199 --> 00:07:13.480 of those phrases that I would say over and over again, is that leaders 117 00:07:13.480 --> 00:07:17.040 work for their people, and that was a way of changing what I think 118 00:07:17.199 --> 00:07:24.800 over time people felt, which was that like leaders weren't there to kind of 119 00:07:25.000 --> 00:07:27.639 support them, they were there to direct them and tell them what to do. 120 00:07:27.879 --> 00:07:29.879 So now I've changed some of that to say, like, hey, 121 00:07:29.920 --> 00:07:34.199 so if you raise your hand to be a leader, that means you're taking 122 00:07:34.240 --> 00:07:40.360 the responsibility of making sure your people are getting better at what they do. 123 00:07:40.639 --> 00:07:44.920 That you want to be held accountable for the development of your people. So 124 00:07:44.920 --> 00:07:47.839 I've changed some of that because I want to make sure that my words are 125 00:07:48.000 --> 00:07:51.680 clear, but that if it becomes if somebody wants to repeat it, that 126 00:07:51.720 --> 00:07:56.199 they repeat it in a way that gives enough context the people that understand what 127 00:07:56.240 --> 00:08:01.519 does that actually mean? Right. It's like when you see a politician or 128 00:08:01.560 --> 00:08:05.839 a celebrity and they have an interview, and if you watch the whole interview, 129 00:08:05.920 --> 00:08:09.120 you get one thing out of it. But if you watch the clip 130 00:08:09.160 --> 00:08:11.839 that gets reposted on social media of one thing that they said, you can 131 00:08:11.920 --> 00:08:16.480 take something totally different from it, or you can knocket the full story. 132 00:08:16.920 --> 00:08:24.439 And because the sensationalism and the expediency that we're prone to as human beings, 133 00:08:24.000 --> 00:08:30.199 that favors the sound bite that favors people gravitating towards Oh, you work for 134 00:08:30.240 --> 00:08:31.840 your people. I guess that means that they tell you what to do. 135 00:08:33.519 --> 00:08:35.440 It's like, no, that's not what I meant, and that's not what 136 00:08:35.519 --> 00:08:37.600 I said, but that's what sounds good in the moment and what people retain, 137 00:08:37.919 --> 00:08:43.080 And so you're right. It's very important to think about the things that 138 00:08:43.120 --> 00:08:46.879 you say, not just from a standpoint of how they can be interpreted, 139 00:08:46.159 --> 00:08:50.360 but from a standpoint of, Hey, it's very possible that this could get 140 00:08:50.360 --> 00:08:54.799 repeated without the benefit of the context of the stories that go along with it 141 00:08:54.840 --> 00:08:56.720 that I know in my head, But the person who's hearing it may not 142 00:08:56.840 --> 00:09:00.639 know in their head, and they can think something totally differferently about it. 143 00:09:01.159 --> 00:09:03.240 The other thing that I think is important too, is that when it comes 144 00:09:03.279 --> 00:09:07.159 to, you know, asking questions of your people and trying to support them, 145 00:09:07.600 --> 00:09:13.840 the right question matters, and the wrong question will hurt the relationship. 146 00:09:13.000 --> 00:09:18.320 I'll give an example. Let's say that you have an employee who has a 147 00:09:18.480 --> 00:09:20.879 habit of coming to work late. They get they get to work late often, 148 00:09:22.360 --> 00:09:26.399 and you you want that to stop, you know, saying to them, 149 00:09:26.679 --> 00:09:28.720 hey, you know what challenges are you facing that? That comes off 150 00:09:28.720 --> 00:09:33.279 condescendingly. But asking a question more like, hey, tell me how you're 151 00:09:33.320 --> 00:09:39.919 really doing that comes off a little bit better because it's it. You don't 152 00:09:39.919 --> 00:09:41.679 want to say, hey, how can I help you get to work on 153 00:09:41.759 --> 00:09:45.200 time? Because that's not what it is. They're not five years old. 154 00:09:45.519 --> 00:09:50.039 We're talking about adults here. It's there's something deeper than what's going on that 155 00:09:50.320 --> 00:09:54.679 is making them not get to work on time, especially if it's a sudden 156 00:09:54.759 --> 00:09:58.919 change. So how are you really doing trying to kind of explore deeper than 157 00:09:58.200 --> 00:10:01.639 what the surface problem is to figure out how you can support them better. 158 00:10:01.919 --> 00:10:05.799 That is the right way of doing it. Don't try to solve the problem 159 00:10:05.879 --> 00:10:11.240 that's actually happening. Figure out what's the underlying issue. And this is where 160 00:10:11.279 --> 00:10:16.360 the words matter, is not just trying to look at what the surface is, 161 00:10:16.679 --> 00:10:18.879 but what's underlying, and how to meet your people where they are in 162 00:10:18.919 --> 00:10:24.159 a way that says that you value their autonomy and that you have faith in 163 00:10:24.200 --> 00:10:26.759 them and you trust them, but most importantly, you want them to succeed. 164 00:10:28.440 --> 00:10:31.919 And if you think about it from that standpoint, I want this person 165 00:10:31.960 --> 00:10:35.360 to succeed, and I want the relationship to be strong. That should guide 166 00:10:35.399 --> 00:10:39.159 the verbiage you use when talking to them and the questions that you're asking. 167 00:10:39.279 --> 00:10:43.600 Yeah, that's great, and I think it underlines another point that I've been 168 00:10:43.600 --> 00:10:48.240 talking about recently, which is not just the power of active listening, but 169 00:10:48.279 --> 00:10:50.840 the power of active questioning. To your point, like, what questions are 170 00:10:50.879 --> 00:10:56.200 you asking in? Do you understand the context of the question, the preface 171 00:10:56.279 --> 00:11:01.080 of the question, what are you saying within the question? When do you 172 00:11:01.159 --> 00:11:07.080 ask the question? Like you know, like these things matter a lot when 173 00:11:07.200 --> 00:11:11.960 you are when you have people kind of like taking in information or wanting to 174 00:11:11.000 --> 00:11:15.360 share with you, or how they feel about the questions that you're asking. 175 00:11:16.039 --> 00:11:18.559 So I think it's such an important point, and it's something that I think 176 00:11:18.559 --> 00:11:22.720 we'll probably spend more time talking about in future episodes, for sure, I 177 00:11:22.759 --> 00:11:26.320 agree. And then the last thing I want to say is that sometimes the 178 00:11:26.360 --> 00:11:30.000 most important thing you can say to build strong teams is just thanking someone. 179 00:11:30.120 --> 00:11:31.279 You know, we talk about the different ways we can say thank you, 180 00:11:31.879 --> 00:11:37.159 I appreciate you, or I appreciate it, but sometimes just simply saying thank 181 00:11:37.240 --> 00:11:41.600 you is an often overlooked thing that a lot of leaders don't do as often 182 00:11:41.600 --> 00:11:45.480 as they should. They say it for the big things, but sometimes on 183 00:11:45.559 --> 00:11:48.480 the daily things that are the kind of costant admission things they might be less 184 00:11:48.519 --> 00:11:50.919 likely to say it. Thank you again all for joining us on this episode. 185 00:11:52.080 --> 00:11:54.080 We'll see next Thursday for the next one. Have a great day.