WEBVTT

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Ladies and gentlemen, Welcome to Week
three of the twenty fourteen miss Krypti Call.

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This week we have the final three
wonderful wiy critters, the last three

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gladiators into the arena. This is
the third week where we parade days small

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cantra of carefully selected carnivorous creatures for
your oglemen, A terrible triumvirent of tooth

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and tangy sauce now entering the cryptoarium. This is the final week of regular

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competition regular season play in the league. We've seen some of the finest,

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we've seen some of the worst yep
that the world of cryptozoology has to offer.

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Mermaid, I'm looking at you,
And this week we have three more

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to add to the mixing bowl,
and only one will bake into a delicious

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brownie. What's going into the oven
floor? The ingredients this week are thementicre,

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the Incan yamba, and the New
Orleans Grudge. Ladies and gentlemen,

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strap in and get ready to peruse
the paranormal. Select a winner to move

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on to the final round, vying
for the Golden Goatman for the twenty fourteen

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missus crypt Dude. Hey, everybody, I'm David Flora and I'm David Steco.

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Welcome to the final week of regular
season competition. Oh, I'll tell

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you what, David, Things are
really heating up out there. We've seen

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two great rounds of play, a
lot of real competitors. But boy,

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we're not done yet. We're gonna
see some new faces this week, and

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that's when things really start to heat
up. I just couldn't be more excited.

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Allow me, I'm Troll Barker.
Don't know what the hell you wait

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untill last week to bring me in
contract negotiations. Really tough thing, got

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a business behind the scenes. Don't
peek behind the curtain, everybody. Look

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out New Orleans Hunch and Inky Mamba
Man many cray y'all y'all tough, tough

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dudes. One are y'all gonna win? Well, I'll tell you what.

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I'm probably gonna order the Manti cray
on my New Orleans Brunch, big glass

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of Inky Mambo with it, y'all
know me, I'll trumbugging, that's right.

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One final Week three more Cryptids one
will emerge and then go on to

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the finals to face the winner of
Week one, Jeff the Talking Mongoose,

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the winner of week two. Who
is bo Thanks for saving me from doing

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that that sound beside they already know
that one. Why wasn't that one of

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our horse names in there that we
did redacted? That's a pretty good one.

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But stay two. Un at the
end of this episode you will find

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out who wins a week two and
we'll go on to face one of these

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lovely contestants, the Manticor incon Yamba
or the New Orleans Grunge. And now

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if you skip to the end,
we'll know, I swear to God will

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know. Let's start, Dave with
the Manticor cult. I'm gonna tell you

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this to floy classic gript a classic
beast of myth and lore. Look out,

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Europe, here comes the Manticor,
the Manticorp, one of my favorite

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creatures from mythology growing up, learning
about it or or controlling Manticor in agent

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mythology. Play to the PC,
But I'll tell you what I did play

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growing up. Played me a little
bit of battle Tech where it had a

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Manticore heavy tank. Oh that's right
too, we had a particle projection canon,

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some long range shot range missiles,
medium laser in there for funzies.

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Sounds pretty h lonely. Yeah,
sounds like not a lot of ladies got

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kiss. I gotta tell you,
I am. I am personally amazed.

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Uh that that I remembered that.
I mean, well, yeah, the

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minute I said it, I was
like what and I just looked it up.

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That's how I was able to figure
out, Like, yeah, but

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but yeah, that was from BattleTech. You you mentioned Halo earlier, and

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uh it a lot of the names
of the vehicles flooded back to me.

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Oh yeah, like scorpion, ward
hog, scarab in Halo two was one

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thing. Yeah, yeah, those
They covered a lot of ground with those

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things. So the manticore, though, this is a really really fun critter.

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Oh yeah, I think you're gonna
like it. It's a creature of

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Persian mythology, hails from the dark
and deep jungles and forests of India.

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Ever heard of it? Welcome to
the Welcome to the party, India.

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It's a fearsome killing machine described though
Lee the body of a vermilion red lion.

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Oh, the head of a man, sometimes specifically with blue eyes hmmm,

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three rows of razor sharp teeth not
unlike a shark, and a long

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scorpion like tail. That, depending
on the tiller of the story, ends

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in a scorpion stinger, or ends
in a tuft of sharp, poisonous barbs

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which it can launch at prey like
arrows from a bow. Shit, So

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there's no there's no good answer to
that. Uh. There is not bonus

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though sometimes b sometimes it has bat
like wings. That's not a bonus bonus

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for it. Uh. Its voice
is like that of pipes and trumpets.

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It is very swift, very agile, like an All New twenty fourteen Jakua

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fucking jack jacuar magical. It definitely
has a taste for humans, so much

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so that it eats its prey hole
clothes and all bones and all leaves no

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trace of them behind. Nice.
Well, that's that's a high efficiency.

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Yep, not even like an owl
pellet. I don't think so. No,

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gross, No, So does it
not have an anus? Then?

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Yeah? Do you do? You
sift through manticore poo? Don't trying to

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find a tooth or something? I
found a stool? What a class boice?

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I can slow angus? Uh?
Sorry, quick question? Uh?

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Is this one of those uh bat
wings tuft of flaming deaths poison spikes or

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is it just like a scorpion kind
I don't annoy yet, we'll have enough

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phone to have we not got back
to hunt it. Here's what it does.

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It hides in tall grass and it
sticks its human head out over top

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of it. Curious people who wander
over, never seen from heard from again?

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Yeah, boy to night. What'sld
is? Then? Fancy a shang

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gets its taste, gets hits taste. It was documented by a Greek physician

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name Drunkenness Titius around the fifth century
BC U. Titius was the physician to

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the Persian king Artaxerxes the second.
Because all kings, Xerxes something right,

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and apparently called it a martek hora, which breaks down on as man eater

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and was later mistranslated to manti chorus
by Pliny the Elder. That's son of

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a bit Jesus. And then who
forgot to watch? Pliny the Elder,

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guys, seriously, we have to
keep an eye on him. Who's on

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Pliny patrol? Pliny the Junior,
it's not it's it's it's your responsibility.

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It's not on us, Pliny the
Junior. It's not made. That's Planted

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the senior. It's me. Pliny
the younger and I don't care, but

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I'm Pliny the middle child. Look
at me. That that name, that

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was the Mantichorus that later you know, you know how how names do manticor

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And one account says they create newborns
from the ground and do it quickly,

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which is good because they are hunted
often apparently, all right, you know,

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nature finds a way. Who the
fuck is hunting them? By the

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way, Um, I think Indians, I think going out and because they're

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you know, they're a scourge of
humanity. So and they would try and

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find the baby manticords and kill them
before they got poisonous varmints. Sure Vermin

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m used in heraldry in the Middle
Ages and represented the prophet Jeremiah. Apparently

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from what I read, the connection
to living in the earth and Jeremiah's being

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thrown in a cistern or a dung
pit. Gross. Now, I didn't

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see much about manticords living in the
earth. I saw that they lived in

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jungles or forests or grasslands, because
if they hide in tall grass, there's

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not a lot yet. But yeah, I don't know. I don't know

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where the whole in caves or in
the ground came from just wherever it is

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spooky, so you hold on the
ground magic. Well, a lot of

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a lot of crazy stuff got added
to stories and myths during the Middle Ages.

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Yeah, I love that. I
love that in a country plagued by

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gigantic king cobras and tigers, they're
like, you know, what we need

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to do is make up something dangerous
to put this put the scare into people.

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That's what that's what this place needs. I mean even you know,

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even Australia had to have a bun. Yep, there's something in people that.

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Seriously, Yeah, the Land of
Nope had to. I think.

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I think it's a very fun creature
that has just enough creatures mixed in,

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yeah, to not be overdoing it, you know what I mean. You

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know they got the mix just trag
it just taste. It tastes great.

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And yeah it's low fat, low
fat made with Stevia. I don't know

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that just that one. You know, we should talk about artificial sweetness someday.

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If you didn't like the episode,
go back and at least listen to

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the ads that we've got four in
and get them. Yeah, that was

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where I was really happy with those. Yeah, boy, what's an election

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you're coming up. We should,
we should work on more political ads.

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We should. So that is the
men to core. I'm gonna ask everyone

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to go ahead and remove any metal
watches, uh, any jewelry. Make

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sure there's no change in your pockets. Um, make sure your shoes.

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You take your shoes off, take
your belt off. Go ahead and take

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your pants off, and you see
that shirt off. Any undergarments, um,

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boxer shorts, briefs, boxer briefs, man thong, lady thong,

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dip thongs, and ting tong tontes. He knows exactly what he has to

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take off. Boostier's course, say
it's push up, bra halter tops,

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tube tops, pasties, smocks,
smocks, hair scrunchies, hair clips,

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barretts, bobby pins. All of
it has to come off for you to

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enter into the matter digital matter transporter
that Blurry Photos has created. I must

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insist you be as naked as you
can be, and I hope you haven't

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even in the last twenty four hours. Now get in the chamber because we're

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going to South Africa. Yeah,
South Africa, that's right home to the

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Slytherin, reptilian serpent, the kenyamba. That's right. This Uh, this

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gigantic, terrifying creature. Uh,
depicted on some cave walls here and there.

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It is known to inhabit. I
mean it's famous for. It's famous

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for, come on, for inhabiting
Howick Falls in Howick, South Africa.

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Okay Um. It is a huge, large serpent with the horse like head

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with lots of frills, big big
fins around the head. And it is

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not just one. It is a
species. Oh this is this is a

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this is one of God's creatures living
in this waterfall. And uh it is

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obviously like any of these things,
it becomes a tourist attraction. There have

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been um lots of searches for it. There was a bounty put out on

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photos of it. There was even
a little story circulated that it was determined

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Oh no, this is an endangered
species. So uh so scientists or or

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or well wishers or green Peace or
somebody swooped in and relocated it to a

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secret location. Other things that the
the Incan yamba. In addition to being

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blamed for disappearances that it, you
know, pulls into the water, drowns

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and eats its victims, it's also
blamed for powerful storms. It's got a

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little little wind in so whenever there's
a big storm that blows through, they

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blame the Incan Yamba. Scientists think
that it might be a species of giant

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eel, which are unknown in the
area, some of them getting to as

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long as six feet. They're dark
black or brown. Gross yep and uh.

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And so they think that there might
be a logical explanation, but none

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of that explains the giant horsehead horsehead
like yeah, yeah. They think it's

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it's many many times larger than than
big eels. Oh yeah, you know,

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this thing is gigantic size yep,
like NeSSI size yeah, Like watch

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yourself, like watch yourself, like
you it'll eat you like a manton bar.

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That's how big it is. Um, they're thought to to migrate.

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They're not just located in this one
spot. Um, if they they run

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out of food or if things start
to dry up, they will they travel

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at night in the form of a
shadow. Jesus, Yeah, giant snake

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shadow, just to slither on by. Wow, hi'd your pools, hi'd

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your wife. And at this point
now it's just kind of relegated to a

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fairly good a tourist draw. I
mean, I'm sure that you've never heard

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of how It Falls before, but
if you're in the neighborhood, you know

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you're going to get yourself. I
went to find the in ken Yamba and

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all I got was this this really
great T shirt because they're not dicks about

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it there. They appreciate quality T
shirts. It's a creature that that factors

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heavily in Zulu mythology and folklore of
the region there. The native Zulus are

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very superstitious, very scared of this
thing because of what they you know,

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suppose it because of what it does. Yeah, only which doctors are allowed

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near the pool, and they have
to sacrifice white goats and things like that

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trying to pease it, to keep
that thing full. Man, don't don't

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make it. Don't make it.
Take your kid, Yeah, don't make

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it, take your wife. You
run and tell that there's apparently one at

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Howick Falls. That's that's king of
the It's the most famous. It's like

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a it's a glamour whore and it
just lives for baiting TMZ. They call

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it the Tall One. And I'm
not even gonna try and pronounce what what

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they actually I think you'll say,
but I think you'll try Nah, the

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Ni Ni Ni don't have a nice
in to do that, ni um Howard

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falls. I guess that's a nice
tourist spot for South Africa. So if

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you are down there in touristing,
then check it out with you. Yeah,

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that's someplace you you will go and
possibly get eaten at the it's these

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are these are pretty cool things.
I didn't know that. I didn't read

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the part about the shadow things.
So that's that's pretty cool. Gives it

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a little little, uh, paranormal
teeth. It's right, it's got it's

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got some powers. The photo h
bounty that you were talking about some some

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guy actually two people, well a
couple of people to a photo. One

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of them it's it's too good to
be fake and too fake to be good.

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Yeah, it's it's just it falls
right in that category where it's just

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it's a limbo, which sucks because
it is a good picture. But and

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he's got the negative of it that
he likes to show as well, that

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he says isn't a hoax. But
it looks like a combination of some kind

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of anaconda and ap plesiosaur neck sticking
out of the water. It's sticking straight

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up it's got the head forward,
but it also looks snake like to me.

200
00:18:40.440 --> 00:18:42.160
Yeah, I mean, and you
can does look like me? You

201
00:18:42.200 --> 00:18:48.680
could. You could even see that
that it almost looks And when I say

202
00:18:48.720 --> 00:18:55.759
almost, I mean it looks exactly
like it was lifted verbatim from an illustration

203
00:18:56.480 --> 00:19:02.960
of a brachiosaur or or what of
the artists formerly known as Bronte's or yeah,

204
00:19:03.039 --> 00:19:07.759
yeah it does. Oh okay,
when when you put him side by

205
00:19:07.759 --> 00:19:11.599
side like that, it's fucking fake. Yeah. Yeah, you can see

206
00:19:11.640 --> 00:19:17.480
like there's this one illustration and you're
like, oh, yep, damn,

207
00:19:18.000 --> 00:19:22.519
you want so much for some of
these things to be real, and then

208
00:19:22.599 --> 00:19:26.799
somebody goes and finds how it's fake, and then you're just like, well,

209
00:19:27.319 --> 00:19:32.720
yeah, then book readers just ruin
it for everybody. Every time that's

210
00:19:32.759 --> 00:19:40.920
a it's a damn bronze sword one. Does it even have the fucking leaves

211
00:19:40.920 --> 00:19:44.200
hanging out of its mouth? No? He was kind enough to edit those

212
00:19:44.240 --> 00:19:51.079
out? What because he Well,
I mean, let's keep in mind that

213
00:19:51.279 --> 00:19:55.319
you can pull some fairly thorough hoaxes. If you live in South Africa,

214
00:19:55.799 --> 00:20:00.279
for example, I know sign language. You can get pretty fun are with

215
00:20:00.359 --> 00:20:06.279
that one rub elbows with the leaders
of the free world. Well, so

216
00:20:06.319 --> 00:20:08.079
that's I mean, that's it.
That's what I got on the Incan yamba.

217
00:20:08.200 --> 00:20:17.400
Incan yamba should of a really elaborate
dance that involves thrashing. You know

218
00:20:17.440 --> 00:20:21.160
what I've found. What have you
found is that at least half the names

219
00:20:21.240 --> 00:20:26.319
of these cryptids that we've researched are
also rock bands. Yeah, that's true.

220
00:20:26.400 --> 00:20:32.240
Take for instance, Yeah and New
Orleans grunge. Oh so is this

221
00:20:32.319 --> 00:20:36.000
just a cryptid that's got like some
maybe some clunky boots on, some jeans

222
00:20:36.039 --> 00:20:38.759
with holes in it, flannel tied
around its waist, and it's just like

223
00:20:38.799 --> 00:20:42.640
whatever, Man, I'm a slacker. That's the that's the Seattle grunge.

224
00:20:44.240 --> 00:20:48.279
Oh, this is the grunge gun. Are you sure that's not just a

225
00:20:48.319 --> 00:20:56.200
regional dialect of the same thing.
It could be its grunge Nasa, that's

226
00:20:56.240 --> 00:21:00.119
a that's a musical crypt today.
I'll see what I had. My gumbo

227
00:21:02.200 --> 00:21:06.640
had a taste and put some Landois
also Jenna taste, like I put my

228
00:21:06.680 --> 00:21:10.440
foot in it. Jesus did not
look to him that was that grun Say

229
00:21:10.599 --> 00:21:15.160
yeah, I say, come on
here, grunch, get what your someone

230
00:21:15.200 --> 00:21:19.119
that has gumbo. Yeah, what's
the grunch? Around New Orleans? People

231
00:21:19.200 --> 00:21:23.440
keep their doors locked, their car
windows rolled up, and pets inside after

232
00:21:23.559 --> 00:21:32.960
dark because of murder, rape,
extortion, carjacking, robbery, and the

233
00:21:33.079 --> 00:21:37.160
Grunch and number of two hundred and
seventy third on the list of reasons to

234
00:21:37.160 --> 00:21:41.720
lock your doors in New Orleans the
Grunch. The Grunch is described as a

235
00:21:42.359 --> 00:21:48.559
three and a half foot tall,
bipedal creature with horns, a spiny or

236
00:21:48.599 --> 00:21:56.480
maybe a quillie back, and glowing
eyesep. Some accounts say it also has

237
00:21:56.559 --> 00:22:00.279
bat wings and a tail. Close
at that point one right, If it's

238
00:22:00.319 --> 00:22:03.359
got glowing eyes, it's got bat
wings, that means it's not the Mothman?

239
00:22:04.000 --> 00:22:07.759
Or is it? Yes? It
is. But if the Mothman's job

240
00:22:07.839 --> 00:22:11.880
is to pretend calamity, then how
could he ever leave New Orleans? Got

241
00:22:11.960 --> 00:22:15.880
you something stuck up with your crawl
about New Orleans? Well, I'm just

242
00:22:15.920 --> 00:22:21.200
saying it's a city dammed by God
it lives. It's a coastal town,

243
00:22:21.240 --> 00:22:23.119
living below sea level. So there's
a middle finger. A huber is going

244
00:22:23.200 --> 00:22:26.319
right up the old flagpole. It's
decided to cove out a niche foo itself

245
00:22:26.359 --> 00:22:32.720
as America's inebriated urinal come to come
to New Orleans, have a bignet,

246
00:22:32.880 --> 00:22:38.519
piss on anything. It's the what's
the working it's the it's the working man's

247
00:22:38.559 --> 00:22:45.720
bohemian growth. I've been in New
Orleans once everything reeked of urine, vomit.

248
00:22:45.079 --> 00:22:48.599
Were you just in the French Quarter? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah,

249
00:22:48.759 --> 00:22:52.960
no, I was just passing through. And uh, I'm sure that

250
00:22:52.039 --> 00:22:55.799
there's parts of New or I have
a good friend who lives down there and

251
00:22:55.880 --> 00:23:00.519
she loves it. I just saw
nothing but terror and bad parts. I

252
00:23:00.559 --> 00:23:07.119
went to Browstown free or post pre. I went post so I think the

253
00:23:07.920 --> 00:23:11.400
was washed away. Yeah, I'm
not saying it's better. I'm just saying

254
00:23:11.640 --> 00:23:18.880
I didn't get a YearIn smell.
Oh man, this hot yurine and vomit.

255
00:23:18.240 --> 00:23:22.359
Wow, And I blame the Grunch. It's all the Grunch's fault.

256
00:23:22.599 --> 00:23:26.839
Apparently. Well, it can howl
like a wolf or maybe screech like an

257
00:23:26.839 --> 00:23:30.799
ape. And yes it stinks.
Yeah, that grunge got stack caught over

258
00:23:32.079 --> 00:23:36.680
here. It's intelligent and able to
open doors, also use tools. There

259
00:23:36.720 --> 00:23:41.720
may be more than one grune it. Maybe we're dealing with the good news

260
00:23:41.799 --> 00:23:45.240
is the plural is still grunge grunch. Yeah, call me home as a

261
00:23:45.359 --> 00:23:52.720
grunge. We're having a grunge fry
fry. You might have sucked the head

262
00:23:52.759 --> 00:23:57.720
off that grune getting the juice.
Here's the origin story. You remember old

263
00:23:57.799 --> 00:24:03.160
voodoo queen Marie of Duh. She
is said to have cursed a woman to

264
00:24:03.319 --> 00:24:10.680
bear a devil baby, and which
is a that's a different story altogether.

265
00:24:11.720 --> 00:24:17.880
But and then when the devil baby
was born, she castrated it. Whoa

266
00:24:18.640 --> 00:24:22.079
not even a devil baby deserves that. The testicles fiddled to the ground and

267
00:24:22.279 --> 00:24:26.799
immediately turned into a male and female
grunch devil baby. Are you sure they

268
00:24:26.799 --> 00:24:30.519
didn't turn into a squawk, because
I could really believe that origin for the

269
00:24:30.559 --> 00:24:36.480
squawk could have migrated north. Have
been sad that he wasn't in New Orleans

270
00:24:36.559 --> 00:24:41.680
anymore. They attacked her immediately and
she fainted. Then they disappeared. Devil

271
00:24:41.720 --> 00:24:48.400
baby too. Apparently it was named
after a road in eastern New Orleans near

272
00:24:48.920 --> 00:24:52.400
a section called Little Woods. Also
happens to avoid a lot of legal action

273
00:24:52.559 --> 00:24:59.720
by the estate of one doctor Theodore
Geesel. It will attack pets and livestock,

274
00:25:00.359 --> 00:25:04.880
puncturing one hole to drain blood.
Maybe some morgans chupa thingy, Oh

275
00:25:04.960 --> 00:25:11.680
yes, this is this is a
an American cousin of the old chupaka.

276
00:25:11.559 --> 00:25:17.039
And you know what, taxonomically,
I'll allow it. Okay. It can

277
00:25:17.119 --> 00:25:19.720
attack humans as well. In fact, if you see a weak or stray

278
00:25:19.799 --> 00:25:26.000
goat or animal wandering a road at
night, don't stop and check on because

279
00:25:26.039 --> 00:25:33.680
other way, because you were gonna
oh goat, Oh bitch, it could

280
00:25:33.680 --> 00:25:37.000
be bait for this this thing when
when you jump, when you get out

281
00:25:37.000 --> 00:25:41.839
to check on this goat, that's
hurt. No show, we can't stop

282
00:25:42.240 --> 00:25:45.400
that goats grunch bait, baby,
we can't. Nothing we can do for

283
00:25:45.519 --> 00:25:49.519
it. It's so small that it's
hurt. You better get out and check

284
00:25:49.559 --> 00:25:52.440
out on that goat. Now,
give and I hope we're smooching. When

285
00:25:52.440 --> 00:26:00.640
I get back, we'll be smooching. Look it was it was che bade.

286
00:26:00.680 --> 00:26:06.160
After all, you shot have taken
some snicker bof I'm gonna have to

287
00:26:07.319 --> 00:26:17.720
smooth you in the afterlife. Another
legend of its origin involved a community of

288
00:26:17.839 --> 00:26:23.240
albinos and dwarves like they would let
that happen in the South. Well,

289
00:26:23.279 --> 00:26:27.920
this here's a thing. They were
living in seclusion because they wouldn't let that

290
00:26:27.960 --> 00:26:33.640
happen in the South. They were
Yeah, they were freaks to the locals,

291
00:26:33.640 --> 00:26:37.119
and the locals will very mean to
them. And they're said to have

292
00:26:37.160 --> 00:26:44.279
bread and created offspring that eventually became
the grunge. The grunch is like the

293
00:26:44.400 --> 00:26:48.799
great great grandchildren of albinos and dwarves. But it was it was like the

294
00:26:48.839 --> 00:26:53.920
stories of you know the hillbillies that
that get the caves, that inbreed and

295
00:26:55.759 --> 00:27:00.200
do it for generations. Now that's
one side of it. Or these albinos

296
00:27:00.200 --> 00:27:06.680
and dwarves tired of being freaks yep. For the locals, made a deal

297
00:27:06.720 --> 00:27:11.079
with the devil for something to protect
them from the tolls who would come and

298
00:27:11.119 --> 00:27:14.400
make fun of them. Now now
they got a whole pack of grunge keeping

299
00:27:14.480 --> 00:27:22.799
them safe. If you're bitten by
a devil, baby, debble baby,

300
00:27:23.160 --> 00:27:32.200
you will turn into a grunch at
the full moon. Deable baby baby,

301
00:27:32.599 --> 00:27:40.240
look at him body baby. So
yeah, it's it is not unlike a

302
00:27:40.319 --> 00:27:45.559
chew picabra. So that is the
New Orleans grunge. Wow, you know

303
00:27:45.880 --> 00:27:48.920
um thing that I'm just gonna put
out there because we don't do it.

304
00:27:48.960 --> 00:27:53.680
We don't do our names sign offs
for the the twenty fourteen mis Cryptic Contest.

305
00:27:53.720 --> 00:27:56.559
So I just want to let everybody
know that I'm David Deal. Will

306
00:27:56.640 --> 00:28:07.960
Baby staggo? Do you look at
would you go? Get you double baby?

307
00:28:08.599 --> 00:28:11.079
That's not as funny that anyone else
is in his death right now.

308
00:28:12.920 --> 00:28:18.559
So there you goes are your week
three contestants. Let them host fight.

309
00:28:19.960 --> 00:28:23.160
I just I didn't want to tell
you this, but I just castrated a

310
00:28:23.240 --> 00:28:34.160
debble baby in my bathroom. I
just castrated one and there were two,

311
00:28:34.720 --> 00:28:44.119
the two little nuggets that fell off
and hit the ground. Fuck delete that

312
00:28:44.240 --> 00:28:49.640
debble baby, little debble baby.
Oh you want to go first? You

313
00:28:49.640 --> 00:28:53.880
want me to you? I've got
a bar. Okay. It's a bar

314
00:28:53.960 --> 00:29:00.200
where the bartenders they can get real
angry. They travel by night too,

315
00:29:00.319 --> 00:29:03.960
and uh if they get angry in
their bar, they make it rain oh

316
00:29:04.880 --> 00:29:12.200
beer. Oh okay. Bar is
called drinking Yamba. Nice new devil babies.

317
00:29:14.160 --> 00:29:19.880
M you go on home? Did
you do? Debble baby? Who

318
00:29:19.960 --> 00:29:23.680
that devil baby? You know?
Um? In India, it's not easy

319
00:29:23.759 --> 00:29:30.599
because of the hunting for uh manticors
to reach maturity. It's not no,

320
00:29:30.599 --> 00:29:33.400
no no, because as you said, you know, they try to they

321
00:29:33.400 --> 00:29:37.640
go after the young, to get
them before their poisonous. It's uh,

322
00:29:37.960 --> 00:29:41.160
you know, it's really hard.
And so within the Manticore community, they've

323
00:29:41.319 --> 00:29:45.319
they've they've set up a series of
gyms and fitness areas to kind of try

324
00:29:45.359 --> 00:29:49.559
to really boost physical development as fast
as possible, give these guys all the

325
00:29:51.240 --> 00:29:53.960
tools they need to survive in the
wild. Good. Yeah, and it's

326
00:29:55.119 --> 00:29:59.319
um, it's called Jerry Langerford's Manticor. Jim. We'll turn you from a

327
00:29:59.400 --> 00:30:08.200
canticor to a manticor like a canticord. Yeah, are you a manticor or

328
00:30:08.319 --> 00:30:15.440
you a canticre? That's it?
How many? What's the devil baby count?

329
00:30:15.480 --> 00:30:22.359
Like seventeen nosebleed? Yeah, So
there you go, everybody. I

330
00:30:22.400 --> 00:30:25.039
guess there's nothing else to report.
Floora hey, everybody, have a good

331
00:30:25.119 --> 00:30:26.960
night. Um, I don't know. Shut up, tell where you talk

332
00:30:27.000 --> 00:30:33.200
again? That's what I say?
Wait, what what? There's nothing else?

333
00:30:33.759 --> 00:30:40.480
So many times? No, there's
an envelope. Oh I forgot you

334
00:30:40.519 --> 00:30:47.680
owe me money? No, dude, it says results. Oh. From

335
00:30:47.720 --> 00:30:57.839
the last week's Barnyard burned Down in
the basement basement Barnyard burned Down, first

336
00:30:57.920 --> 00:31:03.359
roll, first roll of his cryptic
club. Don't talk about anything button his

337
00:31:03.440 --> 00:31:10.480
cryptic club. So the contestants from
last week were the howit saddle? That's

338
00:31:10.559 --> 00:31:19.440
right from mecho from North Carolina,
vampire based Bladon Borough, fart heels got

339
00:31:19.480 --> 00:31:26.279
him take that, and last but
not least, from the Hendlock Forests of

340
00:31:26.559 --> 00:31:38.079
northern Pennsylvania. Pretty badass location already, the squawk head downstairs night it was

341
00:31:38.119 --> 00:31:42.279
a squaw that's right. I couldn't
get a picture of him. Oh well,

342
00:31:42.319 --> 00:31:45.160
you don't live there anymore. He's
elusive and I don't live there anymore.

343
00:31:45.160 --> 00:31:48.599
Hey, everybody, I moved.
That's right again. Yeah, we

344
00:31:48.599 --> 00:31:52.799
did it. We did it.
So that's that's kind of why episodes have

345
00:31:52.880 --> 00:31:59.680
been erratically Yeah. I apologize for
that getting it all up. But anyway,

346
00:31:59.759 --> 00:32:02.599
so results, how about results.
I'm gonna guess let's let's get your

347
00:32:02.680 --> 00:32:07.680
let's get your pick. Tough call
last week. A lot of good choices.

348
00:32:07.000 --> 00:32:14.319
I'm gonna what's your heart's saying?
It's just tough because the uh,

349
00:32:14.440 --> 00:32:17.440
the aw it'saddle has like a cool
kind of story. It's got a fun

350
00:32:17.519 --> 00:32:22.759
tie into mythology, and it's got
that silver lining. If it kills you,

351
00:32:22.759 --> 00:32:27.359
you know, it's hand Tail.
The squawk is just a lovable loser.

352
00:32:27.920 --> 00:32:30.640
It's it's the Chicago Cubs of the
Cryptids. It's just a miserable pilo

353
00:32:30.720 --> 00:32:36.119
shit. But people still love it, just like the cubs. Uh.

354
00:32:36.319 --> 00:32:40.519
It's the er although harder to look
at one hundred crypted wood, harder to

355
00:32:42.400 --> 00:32:45.759
very much so. Um. And
then and then there's the name, the

356
00:32:45.880 --> 00:32:51.119
Vampire Beast of Blade and Borrow.
That's sexy. That's a race car.

357
00:32:51.400 --> 00:32:54.200
That's that's a crypted name. Yeah, I gotta tell you. When I

358
00:32:54.319 --> 00:32:58.920
think about it, I feel like, oh, it's addle. It's got

359
00:32:58.920 --> 00:33:02.000
a really exotic name. It's got
a solid pedigree. I'm guessing. Ah,

360
00:33:02.000 --> 00:33:05.200
it's saddle, all right. But
man, I'll tell you there's a

361
00:33:05.359 --> 00:33:10.039
I mean, vampire beast right on
its ass. The winner of week two,

362
00:33:10.359 --> 00:33:23.119
uh huh of the twenty fourteen yeah
miscrypted contest is the Squank shut up.

363
00:33:24.119 --> 00:33:27.759
Oh see, I'm the worst.
I don't know about anything. My

364
00:33:27.880 --> 00:33:31.000
third place choice is the winner.
Oh man, way to go, Squank.

365
00:33:31.440 --> 00:33:37.680
Squank was your idea? Listeners,
that's so is Jeff the Talking Mongoose.

366
00:33:37.319 --> 00:33:44.759
Listeners are ruled. You guys,
fine, fine, you you like

367
00:33:44.839 --> 00:33:46.799
this so much. What did you
do the podcast? Oh listeners, now

368
00:33:46.839 --> 00:33:57.480
time to do listener, here's a
letter for me this I'm out. Oh

369
00:33:57.559 --> 00:34:04.559
my god, Herder Herder. I
listened to podcast Urban third week of the

370
00:34:04.640 --> 00:34:14.079
contest. Dave Rage quits. Well, well, well, well, congratulations,

371
00:34:14.679 --> 00:34:17.880
squawk your lights. Yep, squawk. You joined Jeff the Talking Mongoose

372
00:34:19.199 --> 00:34:23.519
in the finals for the Golden Goatman
of twenty fourteen. And as he's introduced

373
00:34:23.559 --> 00:34:30.320
into the pitt listen, I know
it's so to my catchphrase, but I

374
00:34:30.360 --> 00:34:36.199
am honest. I am asking,
honestly what the is oldest? And I

375
00:34:36.199 --> 00:34:39.480
I don't understand it was he so
so, I mean, look, any

376
00:34:39.480 --> 00:34:49.320
am, I get it. But
congratulations squawk Yeah, everybody else, it

377
00:34:49.480 --> 00:34:58.119
is up to you. Vote vote
vote vote vote vote vote Scriptaboo, baby,

378
00:34:58.320 --> 00:35:06.079
never baby. Go to blurry photos
dot org. The survey is right

379
00:35:06.119 --> 00:35:07.360
there on the home page. If
you scroll down a little bit, you'll

380
00:35:07.400 --> 00:35:12.800
find it. Just enter your name
in your email for a chance to win.

381
00:35:13.199 --> 00:35:16.800
That's try your own devil. You
had to put one of those in

382
00:35:16.840 --> 00:35:21.000
the prize package. Now that is
a devil baby in the prize pack.

383
00:35:21.079 --> 00:35:25.360
If we have to make it,
it's fine. Um, devil baby before

384
00:35:25.400 --> 00:35:30.960
everybody m you get your You can
get your very own replica Golden Goatman trophy

385
00:35:31.280 --> 00:35:37.440
right next week in our regular weekly
episode, tune in to find out the

386
00:35:37.599 --> 00:35:44.880
winner of Week three, which will
complete our tri force of winners one more

387
00:35:45.000 --> 00:35:49.039
round, and then we'll have leadership
finally elected by the people, a mandate

388
00:35:49.079 --> 00:35:53.440
of the masses, leadership to change
leadership to guide us into the new era.

389
00:35:53.800 --> 00:35:58.599
Finally, we will have a miscrypted, not the one we deserve,

390
00:35:58.719 --> 00:36:02.360
but the one we will want.
Someone to join the Squawk and Jeff the

391
00:36:02.400 --> 00:36:07.960
Tonguing Mongoose to fight it out for
the top crypted spot. And also fourteen

392
00:36:08.079 --> 00:36:12.960
you guys, the electoral process that
the blurry photos runs is way better because

393
00:36:13.000 --> 00:36:17.360
there's prizes, right, isn't this
how democracy should work? Yeah? If

394
00:36:17.440 --> 00:36:22.239
you get a free lottery ticket,
if you vote, great, that's better

395
00:36:22.280 --> 00:36:24.480
than anything. Wow, that's how
That's how you get voter turnout. Right,

396
00:36:24.519 --> 00:36:29.159
Let's start our own country. Yeah, also take suggestions of names for

397
00:36:29.239 --> 00:36:30.880
our own country. We'll find out
the winner of week three, and then

398
00:36:30.920 --> 00:36:36.280
you'll have one more week to vote
on your top crypted Don't don't get caught

399
00:36:36.320 --> 00:36:37.400
up in the details. We'll explain
it to you as it's happening. You'll

400
00:36:37.400 --> 00:36:40.440
be fine. You'll be fine.
Just one more week to go after next

401
00:36:40.480 --> 00:36:45.559
week. Yeah, so two more
weeks to go. But Facebook US,

402
00:36:45.199 --> 00:36:51.199
email US, Twitter US, all
those things for general communications. But voting.

403
00:36:51.480 --> 00:36:53.079
Do it on the website. Yeah, do it so it counts,

404
00:36:53.119 --> 00:36:55.880
and so you get your name in
the pot. Oh yeah, from for

405
00:36:55.960 --> 00:37:04.000
sweet sweet prizes including what was that
thing? A devil? Baby Jesus what?

406
00:37:05.159 --> 00:37:06.920
I don't know. I don't know
why we love it so much,

407
00:37:07.000 --> 00:37:08.559
but we do, and we love
you and we know exactly why we do

408
00:37:08.679 --> 00:37:13.639
that. That's right. So anyways, for this week of the twenty fourteen

409
00:37:13.639 --> 00:37:25.840
miscripted contesta, no no, no, no no, see you next me