I'm not saying I have a body, but I know my homeboys who work
out pause, the niggas can throw on sweats and and a white T shirt
and a gold chain. I'm like, bro, what the where you get
that T shirt from? And it should be looking like you know, I
mean, I get it, but also too, like I always as a
friend, especially, I'm not gonna say, oh, you need to lose
weight. I'm not gonna just say and that's why. But that's why women
be having the big ass friends because I'm gonna tell my nigga, yo,
what's happening. I know, I'm gonna say, let's try to find something
that you know works with your body shape. I'm not gonna just be like
my body shape Jesus, no, no, no no. But I'm just
saying, like, I'm not that friend. I'm not going I mean,
there's a way to say stuff. I'm big on tone and how you say
stuff. Though I am too, but but I'm not gonna be like if
my friend can't dress, here's the thing, and this ain't me, this
is this is just me because a lot of times my friends they do know,
they know that I can dress. I got a little back you know
what I'm saying. And a lot of times my friends they reach out to
me and like, hey see, can you help me put something together?
Da da? Now, my first thing I say is, you know,
I asked them what kind of whatever? And then I'll say are you or
whatever what? Asking them them like, you know, what kind of event
is it? Or whatever? What do you have anything in mind? And
then I'll ask are you trying to pull niggas or not? Because that's not
the question. It's not one of my questions I'm asking. I'm asking are
you willing to do something different? Because I like that to just do my
nigga come to me and say, yo, what you're thinking about this out
there? First? That's gay because why are you asking me? But he
can't say, niggas don't do that. We show up flies, fuck niggas
show up at events. We're like, damn, you killed that. You
let that on the bed. That's how weird clown each other. Or you
let that on the bed? You thought about that? That? Are you
what the castle t early got? We do that women to ask. But
I'm if he come to me and ask me, yo, we're going out
to whatever, we're going out to the b hands eat an event? All
right, cool, we're going Are you trying to holler at some dames or
not? Because if you not, then this conversation doesn't even need to happen.
You look fine, you look raggedy, but it doesn't matter because you're
not trying to impress nobody. Are you trying to suck the air at the
room? Are you trying to have everyone conversation that you have with your friends.
I'm asking you if you ask me how if you're asking me about the
outfit, do you want to suck the air at the room? Do you
want motherfuckers to stop and say who is that? What type of response do
you want? Got you? Okay? If you tell me what type of
no? Nigga? You look Raggedy's okay? So let me ask you this.
So your nigga come through in the room and he is looking fly.
What you I mean? What's the compliment? How do you let on the
bed? Bitch ass nigga? That's how you That's how niggas? Do you
you trying to get some hoose? You ask nigga? Now I gotta change,
Now I gotta change. That's the compliment. Now I gotta change.
You know, women like you better. You better, y'all say that even
when the motherfucker don't and that eat or if somebody gets something new, that's
how it's what I'm saying, Oh you bought some new that we'd be like,
I seen your new look, I see your little little Yeah. But
you know what, I'm trying to actually get out the habit of saying little
because I always that's a habit, like oh, I say about your new
job, and my mom would be like, and that's the reason. Are
you been disrespectful? I'm not. That's that Pike ship. Hey, that's
that Pike ship. Don't don't comfort, don't come for Pike right now,
westside Pikes. But no, that when when people ask for advice, rather
it be rather it be uh, we were talking about fashion. But if
it's like gold oriented, right, my sister bake cakes in Atlanta. Of
the cakes turned out to her her should be fired. If her ship wasn't
fired, I wouldn't repost it, regardless if we grew up in the same
fucking house, that slept in the same regardless. But I repost her shit.
But let's say that I didn't. There's gonna be an awkward conversation of
big brother, why aren't you posting my ship? And then now I'm gonna
have to say, huh, your red velvet is a little beige. The
color is off, and now and then now there's and then now there's beef
because I'm the only person who told you that. That's what I hate.
So basically, what you're trying to say is niggas nowadays really can't take constructive
criticis because nobody gives it. That's why, which is facts. Nobody gives
it, which is facts the niggas. But it's always people screaming, huh,
I keep it real, keep it real with me. But then we
try to keep it real. Now your feelings is hurt, and now we
didn't feel that, and we ain't friends, and we ain't talking, and
you talking about something you ain't got time for no more because you said keep
it real, don't keep it no. But that's but that's one thing I
appreciate too about my two best friends. When I say we legit can get
into an argument or have a disagreement and still be cool at the end of
the day. We'll come back later on and you know, think about it.
You know what you're right. You know I see your point of your
point of view. Niggas ain't arguing because niggas a bump. Niggas a bump
Yep, niggas a bump a nobouty, So men don't even I'm not even
about to argue with my dog because Keenan know how to box. So that's
one thing I'm not even trying to argue with because I'm not befriending you back
if you hit me with a big this nigga put a motherfucker six piece combo
on me, and I gotta ask if I'm being jumped. I'm not trying
to be your friend after this because I'll see I can't fight and box it
out and then come back and me cold well, I'm not about to hit
my friend with that combo period. I'm not. If I know that I
can hit you with it, I'm not about to do that. So the
fact that you felt the need to hit me with six piece in the wing,
I'm cool on that. But now I want to say thank you for
pulling up over here. I am Eric Dizzy and this is another episode of
Black Widow Podcast, And how do you want to be? Do you want
to be addressed with your whole name, you like, how do you want
people to address? Okay, sound like a fucking French French cuisine restaurant on
Minhaffer. You got me, so matimo, who ever disrespect me? The
good part is there, it's not you know what. Let me let me
just say this though, to my east Siders, though, let me say
let me say this. I think the east side get a bad rip automatically
because when people say east side, they always automatically think. They always think
far east post Road. I don't. I think far east dusty, I
think musty east on the corner, yes, but but the west side is
decided. That stinks over on Washington, by the grave yard, by the
track, Michigan, promise, over you there, there's a lot of ship
over there. It's a lot of oil, dead bodies, creeks, all
type of ship. It's always. That's that's right from That's where I'm from.
Over there. What's how you think you're talking about? Now? You
can call me mister Street. I went to Garden City and all of that.
But you can call me Levin see Len, I'm not calling you that,
I'm calling you see that's too long, or see or whatever. Yeah,
you're doing all right, though, you're doing good. How was your
how great? Yeah? That's good, you look great. Thank you.
Yeah, I don't. Women just have a different luxury, Like when y'all
do your hair, you could do it. Ship to your edges. You
can have a thirty inches tony like niggas cannot. A nigga can't show up
here. I saw one of my gay home boys that uh at butter and
I hadn't seen them in months, maybe like a year, maybe two years.
That ship was flying. But I saw my nigga, and I swear
to god, I thought he had dread extensions and I was. I pulled
him to the side, like what the fuck is in your hair? He
was like, nigga, you ain't seen me in two years. So I
thought I was because I was thinking, like he show up with a motherfucking
longas pony tail like that. But yeah, because gay niggas be doing a
lot of ship shout out to my nigga, that's my dog, because they
have a different luxury. Like no, I'm dying on this heell. I
was sitting with my wife and I was like, I was watching she was
watching the video with a beating pretty v and the guy that truck, I
can't think of his name. It's a guy that's on wilding out. He'd
be dancing on the with the locks. Yes, I can't think of his
name. He was sitting, that's not he was sitting in the middle of
him, and they was just rubbing on him, and he was laying on
him and all type of shit. And I said, bru, the luxury
that gave me and half of being able to just congress on the girl.
You look good and just rubbing on the thigh. And she don't feel threatened
if I rubbing her, thought she like he trying to fuck. I want
an HR podcast over cut the mics. Diddy and Cassie coming out sixteen years
later. He rolled up my fucking knee. But but it is some shit
that black gay man, or even I don't know about white gay man.
A black gay man have a different luxury with black women that I wish that
I could have without being gay. I want black. I hate see now
you don't get me on the fucking hill. I black women stop fucking coming
in the fucking gym on your and ignoring me. I'm the only other nigga
in here ignoring me. I'm on the motherfucking smith machine. She on the
other smith machine. I come over there. She go to the motherfucking squat
machine on other I'm not trying to holler at you. I'm trying to get
my titties right. Then when I go on the other side, you go
to the other side. All right, cool. One time that shit happened
and this fucking Russian motherfucker got into it with her, and guess who she
looks for a for defense me? Nah bitch, nah, bitch, take
your hats over there, because you avoided me at all costs. I'm saying,
trying to avoid you. How was she avoiding you? Please tell me,
Just tell me it's real quick. Do you get on the phone when
you go in to the grocery store. I'm on the phone sometimes when you
go in the grocery store. I am why it's not if I'm in the
car, I already have a conversation. Then, Yeah, I've seen the
motherfucker pull out her phone. Yes, so Vibes, don't do that to
me because I'm the only other nigga in here. How is your day?
You look fucking great? I see you. I can't even give you no
compliment because but you know what hold on. But you know, and this
is not me trying to justify, but you know, nowadays these men are
just kind of overdoing it. And when I say overdoing it, like you
know, even though your intentions may not have been like you were trying to
holler or whatever, right, but sometimes you think about it, there are
some nasty, perverted men who just just the way that they just the way
that they do it. It's just kind of like, uh, my wife
said, she uncompliment. She said, before we got together, she didn't
complimented niggas because she always thought that it would lead to all you're trying to
fuck, Like if you say something nice about the nigga here gona ta you
want to fuck? Is that true? I mean, do you compliment man?
I yes I do, But that don't mean that don't mean I'm trying
to took a while. That don't mean I'm trying to get them in my
sheets. I can look at you hat niggas a gideo sheets without getting compliments.
We don't get compliments like that anyway. My niggas don't get compliments anyway.
But no, I don't. I mean the thing about it is.
I think nowadays it's just because of just how stuff are, like how men
some men are just overly perverted. Sometimes you be like, I don't even
want to hear it. Just like the gas as your whole situation. Literally
you walk, it comes to gas you you be like, oh, shoot,
here come these niggas. I said it, I said it. I
said it. On Anglian philosophy, all women gotta start doing is rufieing and
raping niggas and the whole. Okay, now you're to tak it to the
extreme because I'm not ruth roof and raping nobody. That's what I'm saying.
Kidnap, yes, kidnap and just let it. Wake up thinking that something
happened. Just just if niggas fear for their fucking life like women do when
they go to the gas station, Niggas would have a Niggas have a totally
different put the case over their head and that hey baby, they pump your
gas. Hey hey big daddy D D D. And then you want some
of this drink. Yeah he's trying and now he yes, he wake up,
wake up, Yeah, nothing happened. You got a camera, You
got a camera, exactly, just like, what's that what's that movie?
What's that movie where the author getting the car crash and the bitch tie him
up and he kept breaking his ankles the cradle. No, that's boring.
I'm not talking about that started that started crazy movie. No it's a white
movie. I'm never quoting no black movies. I don't know what you're talking
about. I saw I saw a crazy ass clip on Instagram and Instagram.
Gotta stop doing this ship. They said that minutes of society Old Dog or
old All really didn't exist Caine was that was Caine's alter ego or some ship.
I said, Nigga, the writers in that movie was not that fucking
deep or smart or intelligent, not back then. I hate when niggas do
that ship, bro, I hate that. I hate when niggas do that
ship. Well, like I said, listen, yo, start raping niggas.
You fine too, I know everywhere you go. I said, you
gave me an idea. I think, I think I'm a try and then
I'm gonna let you know how it go. A flight attend that. How
often do you get hit on? Oh my god? What you should have
a camera on your back to see niggas trying to look at your ass when
you walk by in the little bitty ass aisles. Listen, let me tell
you this, even you know what, what's so crazy is literally and it
just baffles me, like it'd be the older white men like you remind me
of my old slaves, Like now you know what? But first of all,
I wouldn't even been in the house. I would have been a field
nigga because I'm too dark. But they would have seen this, These clappers
would have been, Okay, look look what the you in the cotton there?
No, but like, oh your lashes, you have some pretty lashes.
Oh. One man told me one of my passngers, he's flown on
my plane, my flights maybe a few times, and I said, hey,
I remember you. He was like nobody said he said, oh yeah,
I remember you. I remember those legs. Now what? And I
went back to the galley and I was like, this is some creepy diddy
Diddy Diddy because niggas me personally, because met in a young lady, Diddy
is giving Diddy by I want to think about that. I was just thinking
about Creek. I'm more I'm more so saying me as a man who's overly
conscious and overly aware of how I'm coming across. I don't even say ship
like that. I don't even go below the nose when I complimented, bitch,
hey, your eyebrows are amazing, and keep it for real, because
I understand that that's where it starts. Boom, hit the lip, hit
the chin, then go down some ship like that. Cool, I'm a
compliment that, but I know the rest is right. I'm not gonna say
none of that other extra ship because niggas to come out and say something I've
I've heard niggas say some of the most outlandis shits women, and I'm like,
bro, does that work? What's the most outlandish? Bitch? Fuck
you? Then I heard that in college. That was the first time I
ever heard a nigga. I'm from the West side of Indianapolis. I went
to a fucking one away Ben Davis, LC, I went to. I
went to all types of schools. I've never heard a nigga flat out just
call a woman a bitch and say fuck you for not saying nothing to her.
So cool. I'm in college. He said, bitch fuck you.
No, no, no, no, it's all right. So he she
rejected him. Fuck you in bitch, d D. Now it's commotion.
She done through book setting whatever, whatever, cool, all right, whatever,
they got it. They got her off of him. Boom. I
swear to god, not even a week later, I'm walking in my room
because that's my roommate. I'm walking. I'm walking in my room. She's
walking out of the room. He done got the drawers. I'm thinking in
my head, how did fuck you in bitch? So maybe she was embarrassed.
Maybe she was embarrassed. Well now because if he was trying to holler
at her and then she was like no, but you know, maybe she
had her friends around. We're trying to down play on me, and you
know, and then that's why he got mad and was like, see,
that's why I don't never even holler at girls with their friends because I might
be your type, but I'm not your friends type. And you your friend
is trying to block you from your type. Yeah, I ain't with that,
because Shaquille o'field needs to get the fuck up out of here with her
big ass trying to do it. You know, in the friend group is
always a big chick with the with the high booty and the flat is be
flat and the high body your friend circle crazy, Your friend circle is nothing.
I don't have a high booty flat friend. But I'm just saying usually
it's like that day's your name. Remember all the proud family here. I'm
gonna say, damn, about to kill you. I got to have the
big one or even like, uh, what's what's another one? It's a
big one and a skinny one? Yeah, ortimon and boomboo. Do you
know why niggas follow you or do you have an idea? Well? I
think majority. I always want to ask. I always want to ask a
cheeker that question, a cheeker, Yeah, kept the cheeks. Let me
tell you this. Let me tell you this. Prior to my one video
that went viral that is now sitting in a million views, what video is
that? It was me I was changing out of my uniform into address and
it literally was just a quick peak of the clappers. And when I tell
you always think it's a quick peak. It was a quick to watch porn.
And it was a quick watch porn. U fifteen seconds stop finding it
And that's the video. I think majority of the people. Prior to that
video, people were following me. Of course it started on TikTok, but
because of just my personality, havin you know fun And then I mean,
of course, I mean I got a nice little shape. So now after
that video, a lot of majority of it was men who started following me.
So personality him, I always there was a way that I could just
showcase. You know what, my homeboy, I'm not gonna say his name,
he keeps posting pictures with his dick print shore and I'm about that right
there is disgusting. I do not like stuff like that. Go ahead,
but you know, of course you don't. I know, but I know
there are some women who do like it. But I just and then because
I had somebody, I seen somebody who posted a picture with a dick print.
And when I say teeny Weeney, I was like, your expectations might
be too high now you just because you're like big dog. I didn't say
I like them. I'm just saying, if you're going to show the print
and want it to be noticeable, make sure it's it's it's worth a picture
worthy. Maybe he wasn't even trying to do that. There he was.
He was. He was because you literally standing all like this exactly like you
know what you be doing, just like women be knowing what theyre doing.
No, women do not know again, just like some women be knowing.
Now, I don't do all man, because I the camel toldy Cameling they
got for that right can get rid of the line. Oh, I don't
know about the surgery, but I know that you can go get your your
pussy titan for sure. But I don't know about the I don't know.
That's just you don't necessarily see like the line anymore. You just see the
fatness of it. What is that? I mean? I like the lips
would be like the lips. So it used to look like this and now
it just now it just looks like a solid you know what I mean,
like a diaper. Almost. They don't be looking like a diaper juicy,
No, like a diaper. There is no line. It be juicy and
be looking like like lipsy like lips. To me, that ship looks like
a diaper. They don't be looking some of them don't be looking like Is
that what new patty line? Hide the lips? You know what? There
is a there is the first time I chick with small titties came over my
house with a miracle Brah don't talk about the bit. I love that you
like. You like small titties. What. I'm not a titty person.
You're more of a I'm more of a man feet. I don't give a
finishing the story about the little titty bitty cities. No, I was just
saying there. I didn't when I first heard the term miracle ball, I
didn't know that that existed. I didn't know that there was what it had
her titty like sitting up and press sh it looked crazy, nigga. I
was like, oh, I'm at that was false. But there. I
wonder if there's miracle panties to hide the I don't know about the miracle pennies.
Now, they do have pennies where you can put them on and it
makes sure it's sets your butt cheeks up, and yeah, I don't know
about that. They got the legs they do that too, so you gotta
be very careful, man. I don't like them legans. I hate them.
I call them the beehive leggings because if you like, to me,
they look like like the bee. I can't like how the bees. I
just I hate those legings. Let me just say it. I hate those
legings and then they got the audacity to sell them in the Chinese shop and
then you know, I don't know. It just gives me east Sie vibes.
See and they gonna beat your ass. They gonna beat your ass.
Gotta be cool. The east side is deep because with the west side,
far West is avon, Far West is plainfield. Far like far West is
not It's like Rockville, and that that type of ship far East is still
east. It's not a new city. It's still Indianapolis. And that ship
go deep. Motherfuckers, Like if you've made a chick and she don't lie,
I'm just saying from a nigga. And she says she's staying on tenth
and shading maybe anything past by Creek. No thank you, no thank you.
I'm not coming. I don't want to go in there because we have
a lot of people that listen from Indianapolis, and I don't want to ostracize
people who might not have the luxury to better their lives. So the my
question to you is all of the ship that's going on with Diddy A serious
question. I'm kind of serious. All of the things from that's going on
with Diddy and Cassie or that what that went on with Diddy and Cassie.
As a woman, how would you feel, as Kresha, who has admittedly
come out and said that she's okay with being pete on a little bit.
Okay, you reading this deposition and you find out that Diddy is away,
was away kinkier Nigga than he is with you, how do you and you
are into the ship, like you into the the trend, maybe the big
the BBC porn. You might be into the cooking, you might be into
all of these things that they were doing. But he's not with He's not
that way with you because in the past, you know, allegations of the
ship come out. So as a woman, how would you feel if you're
reading this ship? You in the bed, you know what I'm saying,
You chilling, and then the ship come across your timeline Baller alert, shade
room, whatever, medi to take out all of this. It's hitting it.
Nigga's texting your phone, girl, look at this. This Nigga was
doing this. He choking her, he kicking her into the cover, He
did that pussy. What is a motherfucker? First, the first of the
first question, I'm like, Nigga, why you ain't did this more stuff
for me? Be all sad? Why why are you me? Why you
ain't turping me up? Okay, let me talk to people. Let me
stop playing with this. You don't even know how to hurry up. People
want to joke. I'm trying to be serious, but no literally the first
question that you I would be like, okay, well we can stop stop
go ahead, no, no, no, don't stop it. We can
stop recording. Okay, my boy, thank you, nice nature too,
he whispered, nice to meet you. Talk. Okay, so we're back
to Diddy, Yes, back to Diddy. As a woman. What are
you saying? I mean as a woman. The first, of course,
the first question I'm gonna be like is like, what a nigga like?
You know? But again you know like I've been like, I've been saying
me up, friend, I'm I know. Okay, I'm gonna ask the
questions as far as sexual questions because I'm a lie and see but as from
a man, a lot of women don't like that niggas lie. But as
a man who lies a lot, I lie a lot. The reason why
I lie a lot is because when I when I tell, when I've told
the truth before, as much as people say they might want the truth,
It's never been received well and I've ended up losing potential partners or potential whatever
because I was too honest. Like a lot of niggas, a lot of
niggas are into things that they are afraid to come out with because of judgment
judgment. Are you gay? Are you down low? Or you this or
you're that or or whatever. So you know, if you ask me up
front and I like you, I might lie because I don't want to judge,
and then you don't want it to nasty nigga. I am a nasty
nigga, but I don't want to lose you because I like you, I'll
suppress my nasty and I get that. But like, I don't know,
because I feel like throughout the duration of this, like okay, if i'm
if you know what I'm saying, I'm messing with you, and these are
the allegations and stuff, naw, I just happen to hear it or whatever.
It's just I mean, I don't know. I guess who wouldn't.
Just okay, first the first reactions, I'm like, okay, I'm just
you shocked because you all this stuff is hitting you and you like, what
is going on? I mean, yeah, we can have of course,
you're gonna have the conversation, the uncomfortable conversation with them and just be like,
Okay, nigga, tell me what's what's what? What's going on?
Right? Right? But still in the end, you know what I'm saying,
it's still your choice whether you don't still mess with a nigga or not
be with him with that person. But also too, as I'm thinking about
it from the correci's standpoint, right, well, you see, baby girl
didn't really say too much. Though she didn't say too much, she kept
it. But the thing is is now people are not only judging Diddy,
they also judging her for staying and that stuff. Yeah that sucks because I
know, like even even people, even people who are into maybe Polly relationships,
they have to think about Okay, I'm in First, they got to
admit it to themselves. Okay, I'm into Polly. Do I if it's
two men or and one woman or two women and women like you gotta have
that conversation with yourself and then have the conversation with your partners. But now,
what does Thanks Given look like? What does Christmas look like, what
does family events look like? What is your family gonna say? Because the
generation be four hours, they really A lot of the times niggas say some
shit. I remember, I ain't gonna say who, but a family member
used to say shit about gay people. And they used to say fag and
this and that and that, and I'm like, bro, you can't say
that, and they was like wow, I said, because you don't know
if one of your grandkids is gay. And now you're saying something that lets
them know that they can't trust you with their sexuality. So you shunning away.
You're shunning away friends and family. So now people that are you're not.
You're not providing the same space for somebody that it's already hard for them
to come out. So with sexuality, I feel like, once, okay,
it's as a black man, I'm gonna speak for me. It's already
hard enough for me to be honest with myself about some of the things that
I like. Then to find a black woman that I that finally accepts me
for me being an asshole that I am. Now I gotta have her accept
me for all of the cases shit that I have. And then once she
does that, now I have to my family is now I gotta come out.
Yeah, and because I want to be free with my sexuality. But
then niggas, you know what I'm saying. So I understand it must be
hard for Diddy, and you know what, And let me just say this,
I'm not I I feel bad for everybody in the situation. Let me
just I feel bad for everybody. And I say, it's unfortunate that you
know, baby girl Cassie was, she was so young, and you know
this is what happened to her these you know whatever. And then Diddy,
it's like nigga losing deals. You know what I'm saying. His stuff a
complete out of math. But why I gotta but why I gotta be?
Why I gotta be at fault because I'm forty and kinky fifty. You know
he's fifty now, But I'm saying other than nine, I'm thirty, I'm
late thirties, mid forties. How I already was. And I meet this
beautiful nineteen year old. I take her from Ryan Leslie. Come here your
mind now that's what she was dating. Your mind? Now, come here
she was with all of that. You know, I'm Diddy. You can
google who I am so you can run far away from me. Now,
if he put her in a situation to say I've signed you or I won't
sign you unless you unless we date. If he did it like that,
that's some sick o mod shit. You're manipulating her. Da da da dah.
But if as a nineteen year old, all right, when are we
gonna stop using age as a means to say that this person didn't know what
was going on because the person was so advanced. If the legal age to
date and fuck somebody is sixteen and this person is twenty, she's twenty.
At what age are you saying that women can consciously make a decision to say
this is what I'm into. And well, and let's say, let's say
that she did make the conscious decision and then she got into it and it
wasn't what she wanted she and she had to escape. Now that's a different
story, and I think that might be the story that's being told, is
that she wanted to escape but she couldn't escape. If it was that,
then he needs to go to jail. And it shouldn't be a because what's
to say he's not doing that as a karsha? True? But I guess
me. I think about as a forty year old person, what are you
interested in it in the nineteen That's just me I asked that question. I
mean, I get I get it, your your kinder marinated pussy. I
get it that kuchie, and you don't know nothing. The expectations are low
with a nineteen year old, That's what I'm saying. That's one of the
tricks I'm doing to you ain't never seen before that I feel like, and
one mixtape with the dick right now, I'm doing all type of shit.
You ain't never seen none of this shit before. A woman my age is
like, nigga, what are you doing? But no, for real?
And that's why I'm saying, like at forty years old, I mean,
I get it, you young whatever. But then even back then, this's
before she didn't even had a braston plants. So he was looking like a
little a little light skinned boy. Yeah, so what was you attracted to?
It was pretty? Yeah she's pretty. But again, okay, let
me go back to what I was saying. As a forty year old person,
why are you even attracted? That's enough to be your child? It's
legal, okay, get it. But I'm just saying, then, don't
time of that too. You have to think about it too when you young.
Like I said from experience, I was a fresh young twenty one year
old when I had an older guy coming at me. He was probably no
no, no, no, no, he wasn't over forty. He probably
was like thirty five, thirty six, but he was older. It's not
but I was saying, a forty one year old woman throw me that kouchie
boom alio. Yeah, I didn't like that. I hit, but I
didn't like that it was too it was too old. No, I mean,
you know, she knew what to do with it. But with older
women there, I'm like, bro, I don't have any more dick left.
Like I am tired, Bro, I am exhausted. Bro. What
We went over to the crib, went over to the she we worked together.
My mom, No, no, no, this is this, so
I was prayed upon. My mom worked there first. My mom worked there.
First, she knew who my mom was. My mom was no longer
there. I was working there, and this is a mister the medical field.
So she was so she was she was helping me along. And then
after a while she started Yeah, she grewed me. I'm a victim.
I'm a victim. Hold me, hold me. But but so it started,
I'm like, don't play. She started to flirt and I told her,
don't play like that. I will fuck you and she and then it
went to oh because if the rows were versed and if I was, if
if I was flirting and she wasn't into it, she would be like,
could you please stop? She was flirting with me. I said, hey,
I don't know if you're just doing this because you think I'm young and
c but I will fuck you. And then it went to hair take my
number. She invited me to her crib. Okay, so I went over
to the crib. The story is crazy. I go to the cris.
She got a fucking teenager upstairs playing a game. But she took my dick
out on the couch. I'm like, I can hear the person. This
nigga's up there, shooting niggas up there, getting he's buying skins. You're
trying to give me the skins. This is crazy. So then she's like,
let's go upstairs. So we fucking I'm like, all right, cool,
the little engine that could. I'm giving her everything that I could how
many times once? No, no, no, it wasn't that I was
tired. I just wasn't turned on anymore. Look, kiss on me,
touch on me, do something. She was playing there like give me some
more, dick, give me some more. I'm like she was saying nott
verbatim. But but her demeanor was like give me that dick or get out,
basically, And I was like, so she just wanted She don't have
to think that's it. She ain't want to hug and cut on kids,
and I don't want to hug and cut on the kids neither. But you
need to get this motherfucker back up. Got you. You wasn't trying to
do no work, got you? So don't groom me, don't don't write
me. Okay, So then maybe that could be the case with Diddy,
and you can't see of course he started grooming. You know. Did you
see the part about he liked white nails and you know, white thinging up
polish or something, and so like all these women wearing white thing up polishment.
Yeah, yeah, I mean, but sh my wife asked me what
color nails I like, and even though I tell her, she ain't gonna
never wear it. Like, it's like she goes against what I say.
I like, but that's a whole other story. But with but I did
have an idea date a woman who asked me, what, what's your favorite
color? And I was like red, and and every time I saw her
she was wearing red and I was like, Oh, you're being intentional.
I like that. But that's what So that's what's It's just scary because if
you meet somebody and then they don't know let me pick my words, Riseley,
Why is it my fault if you don't know how to speak up for
yourself? Like, how all right? I'm applying pressure, I like you,
I'm applying pressure. I'm applying pressure, and then sexually, I'm applying
I'm doing things that maybe you've never done before. But secretly, you're too
afraid to speak. You've always this is not a sexual thing, this is
not a dating thing. In life, You've always been afraid to speak up
for yourself at home, in school, with your parents, with your siblings.
You've never spoken up for yourself. People actually call you the push over,
that's your nickname, and the family the person who the people that you're
the person that people take advantage of because you don't speak up for yourself.
I don't see that at first, I see a young, beautiful woman.
Oh that's my type, right there. Boom, I'm with you, and
now I'm doing things and you're too afraid to speak up for yourself. And
then now you're calling me a predator because you've never told me that you didn't
like that, that she wasn't into these things. And that's why as a
man, I feel for Diddy. If if if it was a rape shit
and out of pocket, if it was on a motherfucker sex trafficking shit,
of course I don't want to know. I'm not back in that. But
if as a man, I've had women tell me, yo, you're aggressive,
and I'm like, oh, but you, this is the first time
you've ever said anything, especially we've best. That's the reason why I be
I'm just so big on communication as it pertains to not even just necessarily relationships,
friendships, mother, father, whoever, because I can recall being that
person who would not speak up because I was too afraid I didn't want hurt
nobody feelings. I didn't want to hurt nobody feelings, or I was just
too afraid to just you know, because I you know, no, Now,
if if I don't like some stuff, shit, I'm gonna tell you.
Back up, I'm gonna tell you. And again it's all to me.
Presentation is all about how you say it. It's all about how you
say it right. So it's a way to say stuff, and especially if
you don't like it. But now, that's why I'm saying communication is so
big, so that way we can make sure we're on the same page understanding.
I ain't wasting your sam you ain't wasting my time. Let's get to
Kenady Gritty. I think that I think the issue is too is that you
know a lot of a lot of a lot of the first time link ups
be under some kind of influence. Rather be Henny Dick, red wine,
honey pack, honey, a few lines like whatever. Whatever he's vices are,
whatever, whatever the lines, whatever people's vices are to take because some
people are anxious. So I know a lot of women who deal with anxiety,
and a lot of their because they might have been sexually assaulted in the
past, a lot of them can detached certain so they might be under something.
They might take a few shots to get them to help her. Last
car LaMelo, Now you mean to tell me that because she did that,
she was in her right mind to make the decision. And now that's that's
a good point. That's where my mind is going. So now I'm like,
no, you gotta be sober, you have to be No, you
can't do none of that ship because I don't want you to come back and
say that you wasn't in your right mind. But in your right mind,
you wouldn't even been in a situation because you're too anxious and you're too you
think about you in your head too much, a pussy, don't even get
wet because you're thinking about too much. She you thinking about the dish,
You think about your kids, you're thinking about You're thinking about too much.
You're trying to rein But I be afraid, though, I be afraid,
Like a lot of the time, I listened back to a few episodes and
I'm like, damn, I'm always afraid that women trying to line me up.
Because one of the questions was last week was if you were trying to
see your door dash driver, what you fucked him? And I was like,
I'm not because I'm scared. I'm thinking that she gonna try to line
me up. But the reason why I be thinking that is because stories like
this. I'm thinking that, you know, when Diddy got on stage and
this is years ago, when did he got on stage and said, y'all
was in a very dark place and I want to thank my mom, I
want to thank God, and I want to thank Cassie, and people didn't
understand that. And then now, all these years later, when it comes
out that he changed his name of Love and I'm not, like I said,
I'm not trying to cut him no bail. But as a black man,
I don't see other black men fighting for Diddy until it comes out that
did is did. He done gave me a lot of shit. He done
gave me, Paul, You don't gave me a lot of shit. He
gave me a lot of He done gave me Biggie. He done gave me
the motherfucking Let's get It video with the Harlem Shake the nigga. Done gave
me Craig mac the nigga. Done gave me the shiny suits. He gave
me Mace, He gave me total, gave me Faith Evans. He gave
me Mary j. Blige, He gave me Joda, He gave me all
of this shit, And you mean to tell me that this one person,
and granted he's done some kinky shitting, some foul shouldn't pass. But this
one person came out and say he did this as a black man. I
know what it feels like for one person to say something and everybody believe it.
But that's the reason why when the stuff popped off as far as this,
I was not quick to jump on the bandwagon. Now again, let's
make this clear. I'm not justifying saying did he This is just I'm speaking
for Sierra. I didn't jump on the bandwagon because this is the same type
of stuff that happened with T and Tiny when that girl whatever her name is
was accusing them of all that stuff. They lost their show, They lost
a lot of stuff, and then only to come back you and just what
now she got to pay them. You gotta die. You see what I'm
saying. So that's why I just be like then people people were in the
shade room comments. I read through all the pages and he did that ship
and he didn't. And again I'm not justifying for him, justifying for him.
Hey, I don't know who you are who made those allegations. But
when I saw that ship I had, I had to sit and think to
myself, Am I ready to cancel t I? When he gave me pussy
Pumping Number one, when he gave me motherfucking porn star all Sharlty, Let's
get away. I like all. I don't like t I trapped t I.
I like t I. When he made songs about women. I love
those songs, and I'm not ready to give those up because you saying all
this shit and I feel and we and we talked about we talk a lot
about white women weaponizing police. We talk a lot about that, but we
never talk about black women weaponizing the police. And what is that? What
is that public opinion weaponizing weaponizing the public opinion towards a black man, knowing
that the public is always Lebron James has been squeaky clean for thirty years.
Lebron James came. We were still in high school when Lebron James, this
nigga that came. He came out of high school and being in the league
for twenty years, squeaky clean, beautiful wife, beautiful children. I guarantee
you if one month the fucker came out and said something about Kobe with just
an ounce of some ounce of it could be true. Look to it.
They was trying to say that Lebron be he's something about white women and he's
into him, or he be havn't cheated. I know, I'm I think
Savannah is beautiful. Now, all right, name me another black NBA player
and we and you and we both well you know Jeff better than I do.
But name me another black NBA player retired and or still in the league
with a beautiful black wife that we know about. You can't do it off
top. I can't think of it because it ain't one. Yeah, it
ain't one. It ain't one. It ain't one. Yeah, ain't no
black man in the NBA with a black wife with black kids, not mixed,
not not a mixed wife, not a So I'm saying it's it's especially
with Diddy. With Diddy, I feel like it was easy to kind of
like crucify him because of kim Porter passing and him not not and then him
not being with her, and then it just it just it's so much.
It's so easy to it's so easy to be like, yeah, you did
that ship so as a black man, as a black man. It just
made me. It just made me feel a way because at first I was
like, yeah, Diddy did that ship, But then I was like,
he just may be a kinky ass nigga, which a lot of these celebrities
are. Though once you get once you get so high up man, regular
sex. Just I can't be a millionaire and just still just get my dick
suck regular, do something different. So how you want your dick suck?
Then I don't know. I need it. I need I need a million
dollars in my pocket, I need no bills, and then I need some
head. And if if it's the same head that I got as a broke
nigga, no twitch, you order to be on a head stand upside down
again, I mean what you want to know, I don't know, but
I think a lot of these people are in or are especially the celebrities,
are very kinky. But again, I like your perspective as far as Diddy,
because I don't think people, especially black men, have sat and kind
of dissected like that, you know what I'm saying and came out the thing
about it is that's what they do that it's clickbait. They posted stuff up
on these blogs to get these comments, y'all going, and y'all get all
round up and just I mean people on Facebook talking about the time about some
he did that heything. I mean, yeah, I know, but I'm
just saying, you have Facebook usually for the older you know what I'm saying,
like for your for your family, your aunties and uncles that you keep
up with. But I'm just saying people were still talking about the third you
just be like again, I have not jumped on the bandwagon and say,
oh he did that, Oh he didn't do that again, I'm just saying,
and then hold on. Then people were saying he did it because he
paid the settlement. It made him guilty. I'm gonna pay you guilty.
I'm gonna pay you because I did some kinky, nasty shit. I ain't
really trying to have the business come out, but I mean it's already out.
Not no, it's not, it's it's out that I did something what
I did. So I'm gonna shut you up because you know way more than
what you said. I know you do, and and I was in a
dark space and I really do love you, and I didn't want and I
didn't even know you felt like that until it was over. And the fact
that you felt like that, I feel really shitty. So here, here's
here's double what you ask for because I love you. That's a perspective.
I don't want. I don't, I didn't want you to. I've i've
I personally have looked back on relationships. I was in a relationship with a
woman in college, and at the time, I was so engulfed in protecting
myself and protecting me as a creator. I didn't want to have kids.
I didn't want to do but I liked this woman. And when I play
it back in my head, I'm like, Oh, if I was her,
I would hate me. Oh, I would hate me because how it
looked to her versus how it looked to me when I when I was in
it, it looked completely different. And I think that's the thing that they're
talking about accountability. But at that time, when you're protecting yourself and you're
trying to fight off, I ain't. I don't know what it was.
I just didn't. I wanted a girlfriend, but I also wanted to be
a hole. So I wanted to be a hot ready for commitments. No,
I was. I was ready to give you everything, I had.
But when you was away and I was with my niggas, I wanted to
do other ship I was that's it was like a battle of it was a
battle. It was a battle. It was and I was young too.
Think I think that might be what happens to me and my eggs. He
wanted to be a host. I ain't gonna say he wanted to be a
whole, but I think that you wasn't worth giving up the host. Maybe
that was it. I think that might be it. Bet start sucking dick
on the handstand. But how do I mean, as a woman, do
you respect that we all did you? I mean we all did it.
This is a new segment of the the a man saying yo, I don't
I like you? But and and look and this is a whole. This
is a perspective too. As a young man growing up in hall Hild,
America, my older cousin was a whore and the reason why. And now
that I'm older, I understand why man might be whose It's no different from
any other addiction. I want to feel good because something is going wrong,
something something is and I'm not saying that for everybody, but in his instance,
that's what it was cool. That's me and keen is big cousin.
So me and Keenan grew up with this mentality that we want to be like
him. We want to be fly like him, we want to be we
want to fuck women like him. We want we want to be like him.
Yes, we want to be like him. And he had a certain
reputation that came with in the city. Here in the city neighborhood because we
were too young to be in the city, but in the neighborhood and in
the ten block radius of and where we were in Hall, he was the
man cool. So now sex wasn't this sacred thing for us, So now
it was like a Pokemon thing. I gotta catch them all. I gotta
catch them all. I gotta go to different parties and try to collect them
all. I gotta get numbers. I gotta go to the motherfucking Circle Center
every weekend and get numbers. I gotta go to Black Expo and get numbers.
I gotta go to Classic and get everything. Was to get numbers,
this, this and that. So now so now when I'm an adult and
I have to now stop all of this horror behavior because I met somebody I
don't know how to do that. I never practiced commitment before in my life.
I never ever was just with one person because it never was presented to
me in a way that it was this is what I was supposed to It's
never been presented to me like that. So then I meet you, and
then I like you a lot. I like you, but you I'm not
scared. I just don't know how to do what you're asking me to do
because I spent the last twenty five years of my life being and moving and
groove and I'm being flirty when I go to the hookah barty, when I
go to the bar, I'm being and now that I got a girlfriend the
way that I would normally speak, I have to reconfigure all of that.
The way that I would normally go out, I got to reconfigure that.
And it's a lot of work. And when you first get into a relationship,
I don't get that grace period of none of that shit. Or you're
trying to play me all you out here doing this, No, baby,
I'm actually trying to deprogram myself. I'm actually trying to reprogram. But those
are the conversations I wish that men could have with women. We can't have
no conversations with y'all. You know what, let me tell you something like
this. Let me tell you this with some of us women, you can.
I want you to stop coming for us women. Okay, ladies,
I'm here, Ladies, I got your bag, okay, because they not
gonna keep coming for us. Now back to what I was saying, I
wish that men would have these conversations with women up front and just hey,
you're right, yes, yes we would. It would be nice. But
a lot of niggas aren't even able to have conversations. So then okay,
but but then then you have we're in my instance, I'm speaking from experience.
This literally happened to me this year where I'm like, Okay, I'm
willing to stay, I'm willing to work with you, but you're pushing me
away and being so mean to me, and which is you're pushing me away.
So it's like, well, damn, I guess I'm not even worthy
enough to like try to fight for it or try to make it work or
just you know whatever. Clearly I'm not what you say earlier, but I'm
just saying, like it would just be so nice. I is, but
but but me and Keenan had this conversation too. A lot of the times
when men are that a lot of the times men can't articulate these things.
A lot of the times we niggas are just doing what they're doing. Ever
I bring it up like that, Oh, you being emotional, you're being
sensitive, you're being manipulative. But there there are these terms that come out
whenever I'm honest. So when when when I said earlier, I lie a
lot because every instance where I didn't lie, there was consequences that I didn't
want to deal with. And granted I should have I shouldn't have lied,
but I liked you and I wanted to fuck and I thought that I can
figure it out before you figured it out. But I couldn't. So let
me pause right here and say this. Then, this is to the women.
Though women, we legit have to be a safe space, especially for
for for me. I'm just saying, we do have to. Why do
you look like that women can't provide No, no, I'm saying to be
able to tart y'all can't provide that. Oh my gosh, you know why,
you know, every single every it never fails, every single time I'm
trying. Y'all. Go ahead, How would you tell me what you would
do it to provide a safe space? Make let me go you I'll be
thirty five, Okay, tell me the last time you made a safe space?
At what you did? And was it safe to him? Do you
know how to do that? Have you ever? Have you ever? And
and it's just like us, try not to be a whole. You ain't
never done it. So when you get a nigga, so I can't okay,
So you walk out my dough and meet a nigga, he walking his
dog dog run up and peeling your leg on an accident, and now it's
a movie. Now it's a movie. And now y'all going to lunch instantly,
And now you got it's a time, it's a The watch is ticking
for you, for you to provide a safe space and for him to get
rid of all of his horrish ways. I think he'll get rid of his
horrish ways before you learn how to provide a safe space for him. Because
you're thirty five and you've and you've never done it? Have you done it?
Well? You know I was trying to talk, but you know you
have you done it? I feel like, Yes, I feel like I
do. You feel like you have? And a nigga telling you you have
are two different things. Have a nigga came to you and said, you've
just provided me a safe space to feel my ex the one that broke up
with, Yes, my ex well, and and but that well when he
tried to come back, that's what he was saying. He was like,
you know, I feel safe here. I feel like this is where I'm
supposed to be. This is home. You you your house or on your
phone? Huh? Was he in your house or on your phone when we
were talking? We're on the phone. I thought he thought he was homeless.
No, no, no, no, we was on the phone.
Was he living in Atlanta? I live here, So that's a that's awful.
Oh my god, he's from South Carolina, but I'm living in Atlanta.
Dating it's crazy. Yeah, but you know that's what you So that's
why I'm saying, like, you know, overall, I can't complain that
the relationship was good in it. That's now in dating, now that I'm
older, I tried to make sure, like that's the biggest thing I told
these men that I date. Pase just communicate with me and keep it honest
with me. I don't care if it hurts my Please just tell me,
because that is the worst feeling is to find out something later on when you
could have easily just told me for real. And especially I always say about
but if I've never been able to do that, You're asking me to do
something that I've never been able to I've never and I know, and it's
it's and this sucks because I don't want I don't want to lose you.
I don't want to lose you. But I also have never been able to
be this way and you're asking me, and I think that's what makes it.
See what you're saying, that's what makes it to be like, oh,
I really like you is because you're actually trying to pull this out of
me. But a lot of the times for women to give up niggas are
hurt the one. I ain't gonna say, women to give up niggas are
hurt the woman too bad as she's trying to pull it out. Yeah,
So I love women. Women. Tell me if it's true. Women feel
like I love you, but you're doing you doing me too dirty for me
to just continue to I want to give you time, but you're just doing
me too dirty the way that I feel. I don't like the way I
feel with trying to give you time to figure it out. Because men know
that women are ready instantly. Women women are ready to just cut off everybody,
cut their whole life off. That's what happened to me, y'all.
Literally, that's what happened to me. I was, I cut my whole
roster off. I'm doing that. Oh, I know now because in every
since I've been I got broken up with this let this world of singleness for
me is different, and it's different because again, I'm the type I will
put my eggs in one basket and I'm rolling with you because you know you,
you know. I was like, Okay, I can see this potent,
I see the potential, let's go right. And I always end up
disappointed because I put my eggs in one basket and here I am. All
my roster's gone because I let them go because of you. And now boom,
you disappointed me and disrespecting me all this other stuff or whatever. But
now in this singleness that I'm in, now, options, I'm having options.
I got baby, I got eggs basket, right, there you go.
And I'm not like I hear you and this guy. Matter of fact,
the other day he was like, you ain't gonna let me just,
you know, help you out do something. I said, what are you
talking about? What do you want to help me do? He was like,
you just got this guard up and you just and the reason is the
reason why, the reason why I have this guard up is because because I'm
niggas. Because of niggas. Use that line. That's game nigga defense as
low as a mother I hate like you got a break wall up, jump
higher, bitch, ass nigga harder once you've been through quite a few BS
situations. And my tolerance is just low for nonsense period. That's good.
I'm talking about like I will stop talking to you if you and I And
here's the thing, this is what I do. I do stuff purposely for
example, like for for you to communicate with me, because I want to
see how you communicate. I'll do something purposely to see how your communication is.
And I could like, what see here we go playing games? What
we're doing when? When? When? When? And if I ask you
something simple, this is this is some playing games, yo. Simple.
I'm just like hey, let me know if you make it home. You
know, let me know when you make it home. You know, whatever,
you don't do it. I'm like, I actually to let me know
you make it home. That strike one. Let me finish check. No,
I'm not at the location. But it's just it's a simple fact of
I'm just just ask It's just something simple. I'll ask you a yeah,
hey, let me know when you make it home. Tell me this is
that text me let me know you made home. You don't do it that
strike. So I'm like, I told you, let me know. It's
just something simple like that for me. Oh yeah, you hurt? Who
did that to you? I'm not I just I'm sorry. I just want
to just that's that shouldn't count as one strike. Though, listen, like,
I mean whatever, whatever, O. My tolerance is low because where
you think he went, he thinking he was somewhere else. I don't even
get into all of that. The principle I'm asking you how do you feel?
Though, I'm asking you, how do you feel if I leave your
house and then I don't text you when I get home? What? What?
What feeling are you feeling? I'm like, damn, you couldn't let
me. No, no, no, I know that, but I'm saying,
why is that? Why is that a thing? What? What other
feeling are you feeling? Like? If I like when me and my girl
got to get when my wife got together, if she didn't answer her phone,
I thought she was with another nigga because the last time, the last
time that a woman didn't answer her phone and it was going through to voicemail,
she had a nigga in her house. So that's so when I so
that's I have PTSD for that. So I understand when I say, Yo,
when I call you, I don't think it's with another woman. I'm
not because again, if we're just I make that very clear. When I'm
talking to somebody, I'm not going to ask you about your stuff and what
you got going on because it's none of my business. When you and me
and we have our time, that's what we need to focus on. Honestus,
I don't worry about what you do with somebody else, especially if we
dating talking. It ain't none of my business. And you're not gonna question
me about some other niggas because they want to be into that. Huh,
what if he's into that and I'm gonna check him. I say, hold
on, but what if he's into that. What if that's one of his
kinks? What asking you about other niggas and I'm going to check him.
I like the fact that you were other niggas. I like the fact that
you what if he said, I like the fact that you with other niggas.
I like to know that this competition, so I need to know.
I like I like that competitive. What if he says, All I tell
them is just you need to worry about what men you got going on.
That's what I tell him. I tell you and now and then when you
started talking about kinks, I'm like, I tried to open up, and
you tell me about my business. Now, so you're not your business.
I didn't ask I'm not gonna ask you about no other girls because it's none
of my big especially. But if that was one of your kinks, is
what I'm saying. And again, you're gonna that's my answer to what you
just Okay, it's one of your kings, but it's still gonna be okay.
Just know it's a roster. Every make the best man win. That's
what I be saying to May the best man win. Okay, I'm just
asking because a lot of the times, a lot of trying to tell us
the kinks up front, and one thousand percent y'all missed every fucking sign,
every sign. But a lot of the times, a lot of women are
down and this is this is, this is going kind of teetering back to
the king stuff. A lot of the times women are more willing to do
things with the niggas that they're not with versus the nigga that they are with.
So I know some women who will give a nigga a threesome, but
they won't give their their man a threesome because of women being trifling or whatever
the case may be. And I know women who want to have threesomes with
two guys who and she might not be comfortable enough to tell that to her
husband, but she will have two niggas on her roster that she you know
what I mean, manipulate. I heard a story where a girl went over
to fuck with one of her niggas and his nigga was there, and so
she just started going doing some freaky ship in front of the friend, and
then the nigga was like, shit, you're down with us fucking and she
was she said at that at that point she had to make a conscious,
conscious decision to know that if she did this, that the nigga wouldn't talk
to her no more. And she said that he was worth giving the experience,
was worth giving him up. I said, oh, you cold blooded.
You're cold blooded. But that's the shit that people have to do because
of not being able to be honest about the kinks. The manipulation comes with
that. Yeah, I get it. But again, as it pertains to
that certain situation, since we're talking about Polly somebody that I just feel like
you have to be really careful with that stuff when you're in a relationship.
I feel like, especially if you're not adding no, if you're not adding
the person to your relationship and it's just on some like oh come come with
me and my girl, you know whatever, whatever, I think you have
to be really careful with that stuff because it opens up a lot of different
sex, opens up feelings. Period. We already know that, but adding
somebody, And because I actually got one of the guys that I'm talking to,
he and I had this. We were having a conversation. I asked
him, I said, you know, have you ever had a three soome
and he was like no. He was like, but you know, I'm
not gonna say that. I would never not, you know, do it,
he said. You know, but if me and you were together,
he said, my rule would just be, don't do it without me being
there. Like, if you and her want to mess around, that's cool.
He's like, you know, I'll be downstairs whatever, whatever, But
I don't want you to be on some sneaking type stuff because then it kind
of makes me start thinking otherwise. And I'm just like, the part,
the part of the part of the thrill is the sneak, and you can't
get the thrill without the sneak. But don't want to do it if I
got permission. It only feels good when you don't know about it. That's
part of the thrill. And see, that's the whole thing in itself that
I never really hear people talking about. Yes, yes, you might be
okay with me fucking Samantha, all right, cool, but m the part
of the thing that makes my dick brick is the fact that you do not
know who I'm fucking sneaking and you gotta be careful too, because you never
I feel like I feel women I feel like, correct me if I don't
want to be bash women, but I feel like, I mean, you've
been doing an honest time. I just feel like I feel like with women.
I've seen women turn their back on their friends to steal a nigga from
the friends. I've seen that. I've never seen a nigga do that.
I've never seen a nigga be like, I'm gonna just give up all my
friends and try to take this person. I feel like love is love.
Women have internal clocks that men don't necessarily have, and I feel like women,
some women subconsciously are fighting against that clock. And your homegirl allow you
to come in the room and fucking her man one of two, three,
four, or five times you don't call feelings for this nigga. And now
you guys, why I say you have to be careful with this because and
especially if it's something you're coming for y'all that was you, I'd just say
you have to be careful. Especially if me and my friend, like both
of my best friends are married. I wouldn't dare say, oh, let's
let me have a threesome with you and your husband, like you know how
weird that will be to me? Will be weird, but some people are
some people were doing it, and me like, oh, because you never
know, Because you never know. Your best friends might be talking about you
when you leave. I mean they might your best friend and her husband might
be like, hey, I would love to fuck her. But again you
have to do in all. You got to be careful with that party stuff.
It's kinky out here. It's kinky out here. Freaks, you're freak
not at this age, I'm tired. You have energy, No I didn't,
but I'm tired now, like I wake up early to go to the
gym. I fucking got kids, that un unc era. Now I'm just
And what do you want from me right now? Like I would much rather,
I'm not. I'm not freaky. I'm a service dog at this point.
Oh my goodness, What do you want from me? What do you
want from me? And I'll give it to you like if you if you
send me down. We talked about this last time. If you, if
you tell me what you want, I'm gonna do my best to give it
to you. But I'm just because I'm afraid of the diddy shit. I'm
afraid of the Jamie Fox shit. I'm afraid of I'm afraid of. I'm
afraid of being too too open and too handsy or too freaking and misreading the
room. That's a very scary thing. That's a very scary thing to misreading.
Women can misread the room, and niggas are just brushing off. A
nigga can't misread the room. You got to be very accurate in how you
assess each situation. You might think, you might think a motherfuckers on you.
You might be thinking a motherfucker and they not like they they really trying
to see if they know you. They really trying to see if they follow
you on Instagram because the filters off you look like the filters off. Yeah,
So like being being freaking and being kinky like these days, I don't
think that it sound good. It does sound good, but I don't think
that there's enough safe spaces for a lot of people to actually be that.
And I agree, like even for black women, I don't think that black
women could really really be as freaky or it's open or it's honest about what
they want sexually because of being judged and the same with black men. But
black women are black women. Black women get you know, the nasty or
freaking whole type of label. A nigga could be called gay for just the
type of porn he watched. He ain't never even been. Yeah, a
nigga could be gay for even clicking on the wrong porn side or even inkling
of whatever the case. Too sassy, that's the word that they using for
y'all men. Yeah, so it's it's really scary. And I don't you
know, as a person who writes erotica erotic content and produces e writic content,
a lot of people was putting. I put a survey on black wo
a podcast Instagram page, and I was like, Yo, what kind of
what what genre of erotica do y'all want? Somebody was like, I would
like to see gay two men And I was like, although I understand that.
Can I understand that some women might not want their man to fuck another
man, but they might watch men fuck another man. Let me just make
sure I'm understanding. You're talking about a man watching two men have sex?
Right? No women are women want to see two men? Got you?
Women want to see women want to see gay porn? And then I was
like, yeah, but producing it, the men gotta be okay with it,
Like the men that my friends that I'm having act gotta be okay with
it. It's just a whole bunch of because it's just like gay porn.
Well why you why wouldn't you want to find men who are actually gay who
are acting you know what I'm saying, Or you want to use your people,
Well, we're black widow. The hardest thing is to find people that
I'm comfortable with coming into my house or they can read, because a lot
of niggas can't act, that can actually deliver lines. A lot of niggas
can't do that. So it's a process. It's a just whole like the
black widow thing is a process. And the reason why I keep using the
same people is because I trust them and I know they're going to deliver this
and that. But now you're going down Now that I want to expand and
diversify my portfolio, it becomes an issue of knowledge because now they say they
want sensory sensory type of erotica, they want BDSM, they want lesbian,
they want this this. So a lot of these subgenres I have to actually
study, and I do not know a lot about it. So it's a
study thing. But for me. I think everybody is in this space of
trying to discover themselves with their free time. So a lot of the times
niggas is full time girlfriends or full time boyfriends, and then they got jobs
and they got kids. We don't really have the luxury of time to be
to explore our sexuality. We always got to be other people who other people
want us to be, who our spouse expected us to be, who our
family expect us to be. Like when then you got to find somebody you
trust, and then once you finally trust somebody, now you don't want to
get too kinky with them because you don't want to ruin the relationship and friends,
like, it's just so much ship that a lot of people don't get
the opportunity to be as kinky as they want to be, So then they
go to these these sex Like I went to a BDSM party never again,
and I'm not I'm not I'm not bashing anybody that's into that lifestyle, but
it just wasn't sexy enough for me, Like it was more it was too
aggressive for me. It was too degrading for me the way that it looked
the presentation of it. Now, some people might be it was the biggest
BDS I was, and they asked me to do it because of black widow
got. So I went in there and I'm like, yo, I know,
y'all might think that because I writ Rodicas that I'm into every fucking thing.
No, I like black women with oily ass skin, nice booties,
hair ball whatever the fuck? I like I dressed nice, I don't.
They had women on their hands and knees with leashes and ship I'm like,
yo, I knew that this existed, but this is not actually in presence.
This is not, this is not this is not what I think is
sexy because I don't like, like, I'll choke a woman sexually, I'll
rough a woman up sexually, but degrading. I put black women too high
to be into that, so I can't do that. I would much rather
be like, you joke me and you can slap me, you could do
you could degrade me, because I look at y'all on a higher level than
that. But yeah, when I'm when I was there, I was like,
damn, y'all got y'all really brave to be doing this, Like y'all
brave, leasious, like barking and me and and and balls in it.
I was like, yo, this is crazy, you know. For from
Black Ink. He's been on that boasted up the yesterday he was on his
only fans doing it to a turkey. No, that's different. He was
the one that was in the cage. He been wearing the dog mask and
he's into all of this. You know who you know Black Ink though he
was a part of he's a tattoo artist. But like he's into all of
that, and like I said, to each his own. But it's only
so much. Like, don't get me wrong, I like to be spanked
and stuff, but I don't want to beat. Yeah, it's a difference.
Yes, no, no, no no no no, Like spank me
a little light, you know whatever, but I don't know be spanking,
no whip don't And then I don't want to brace the hit. I don't
want to. You haven't pledged or something like, No, I'm ship that's
crazy. But no, But like like I said, y'all, niggas is
freaky out here, that's all. I'm freaky out here. But I like
it. It's a power thing. A lot of the times, you know,
a lot of a lot of this shit is just all about safe spaces
and man and being able to provide a safe space. I personally do not
believe that even if you provided a safe space, a nigga would believe it's
a safe space. I just do not believe that most niggas will let the
guard down because we always have been on the you say you think most men
percent. I like to say, Okay, if I could see I could
see me. You provided me a safe space to say that I love you
and that I don't know what I'm doing and I'm scared and I and I
really want to be with you, but I don't know how to if I'm
doing it. You provided me with that safe space. It's completely different from
me showing you what pooring category y'are like. That's a completely different These are
two different spaces. This is a two bedroom apartment. I need more space,
Yah, I need you And how do you even provide that? Because
as in the back of my mind, I still have to be ready for
this to end. That's what I think. I think, for this to
end, and for you to start spilling my secrets to the next nigga that
you you know what I mean. But it's all a risk though, and
it's not a risk nigga willing to take. And that's what I'm saying.
And that's just like what I tell people about falling in love. It's you're
taking a risk regardless. Yeah, the risk of my heart being broken,
in my reputation being killed, I mean, which is true, which is
true, But I'm talking about all of it is a risk. Though at
the end of the day, you about risking showing your porn category because are
you gonna judge me if I show you what I'll be watching? Are you
gonna you know what I'm saying, Like you said that safe space, are
you gonna judge me? Or what I feel like, I feel like men
are more accepting to women's porn categories and what they're like. Yeah, that's
what I'm saying. So yeah, I would accept you, But would you
accept the nigga that I was speaking more so from you know, with the
if the man talking about it's a risk and it's a risk. Everything's a
risk. It is a risk, But I think it's I'm with you,
though I agree with you. As far as black men, it's definitely harder
for black men to be able to just be vulnerable. That nigga that he
might just be a freaky frog man. He might just be really fucking freaky,
like he's super a great. He might just be Oh, Denny's a
disgust and freaky kinky. I think he is definitely a kinky. Definitely he
caps lock, but caps lock cakey again. I'm just not willing to be
on the bandwagon of shaming him. I'm not. I don't want to shame
anybody for liking what they like, because life is already fucking hard, bro
Like, life is difficult and every like the word like we were just talking
about it earlier. But the tomorrow's December first, Uh, the fucking the
months are going by fast. I'm paying rent every other week, I fucking
my kids, is not sleeping through the night. I'm hungry as fuck.
This diet ain't really working how I wanted to work. The gym is about
to be packed. It's just a lot of ship. It's just a lot
of ship. And now you're saying that I can't get my nut off the
way that I like fucking, and not being able to fuck the way you
want to fuck means that you didn't fuck for real, Like if you nut
it's not the full nut, like if you can't so hard if you can
nut with that, if you're not, if you but niggas can't even nut
that hard because you can't even you can't even get your butt tickle your g
spot. See see let me, I WoT ask you. You like your
you like it, not necessarily, but you can tickle it, you do
your thing, you like your ass? Eh yeah sure if you with that.
Yeah, if that's if that's the rabbit hole were going down, bitch,
you bet not come out. You bet not come out when you get
a new nigga and a kid and you see me up and you want to
check and you start saying that, oh I made you, Yeah, a
difficult factor that ship. Yeah yeah, but you know that I don't life.
That's a message. And that's why niggas never do that ship. And
that's why our nuts be half. We're busting half. Nuts should be coming
out all week because we can't even get that deep into that ship. Not
not the man I have made bus. They be coming out because you gotta
fucking son your ponytail that she using in the fucking bedroom coming out. It
just depends on if they really Now imagine if you provided that safe space,
they bust a scary movie. Nuts you on the ceiling, nut just dripping
down and Ship. You know what, it's a scary movie. You gotta
get the picture because yeah, not coming all after Ship. I didn't know
what I was watching as a kid, but now understand when when she finally
gave her niggas up here, he was like, Oh, yeah, for
sure. But I wish that. I just wish that everybody, not just
black man, but I just wish that every everybody was able to be freete
and and most and most people won't. That's the judged. Yeah, because
you've been judged. You've been We've been judged. We've been judged and or
criticized and or or felt like we were under a microscope since we were kids.
Yep, you know what I'm saying. So to grow up and then
shake it off. That's difficult, especially where I'm at in my life now,
the space that I'm in. I'm and I literally was selling on my
friend this. Yes right, i I'm at a point where I'm just like,
do what makes you happy? For real? No, for real,
do what makes you happy? If that's what makes you happy, do it?
Like who are We all have our own stuff and struggles that we did,
we that we have dealt with or we are dealing with. So to
have your mouth on somebody when you sneaking around, well such and such a
girl, or do come on now coming to you? And it was like,
yeah, I like to uh what you went to? Baby? Like
you're gonna judge, you know, I'm not. I like to I like
to hum. I like to hum return of the mac on a pussy my
face and I like to return. I like to hum return of the mac
on the pussy. And every time he said, I stick my timeue out
like that. Do you like you are? You do it? Do it?
Just do it? Yeah? But yeah, but some niggas might be
into something. But I mean it's just it's to the y'all. Do what
do what works for you. And I've been preaching it, do what works
for you. Don't do that if you are if you are kinky, be
kinky with who you can be kinky with. Do you do what works for
you. At the end of the day. And on that note, we're
going to leave off with some positive affirmations because that's I mean, what else
can we say. I wanted to before we leave, and I want to
thank you for coming over today. This is a great conversation I want people
to learn. I was talking to my sister and like yesterday, and she
used to be a model in the city, and then she got pregnant,
had a kid, and she had to become a mom overnight. And she
said that when she became a mom, she went through a stage of having
to fight the night being a mom and going back and being in a night
life. And she said that it was a very hard transition from being a
young, beautiful, skinny model to being a woman with a mom boy and
her She had to have a seen station story stoming, don't look the same
as it used to. She just came dressed away that she used to.
She said she had a bunch of identity issues. And as a brother,
I've never heard my actual blessing to say that shit. So to hear a
woman described it to me, I was like, damn. And I was
like that you theren had to grieve who used to be And she was like,
exactly. And I want to kind of talk about being afraid to bury
who you used to be, because who you used to be might not necessarily
be the version of yourself you needs to be to get to where you're going
and in order, and you never really understand who you need to be to
get to where you need to go until you figure out exactly what you want
to do and where you want to go. And I feel like a lot
of us are. We try We try to shed skin and then hold on
to the skin we shared personalities and then hold on to the personalities, or
or deal with trauma and then hold on to the trauma or uh, fall
out with people, but then hold on to the hold on to the to
the memories of pick pick which side of the fence you want to want to
be on, like a lot of the times. I watched Tyler Perry's movie
and he said that because of the trauma in his past, he's never actually
allowed itself to live in the present space. So when he was opening up
the studio, he said he had to calm himself down and tell hisself to
be present, be present. And I found myself looking back on to times
and being like, damn, I don't even think that I fully grasp what
was happening at the time, good and or bad. I never really sat
in it to allow myself to enjoy the fruits of my labor. Like when
people you know speak about you know, the podcast or whatever, winning the
awards or this or that or doing a lot of shows around here, I've
never I never was in the space like damn, look what I did,
or damn I'm proud of myself probably like what how can I top this?
Yeah? How can I top this? Or what can I do next?
Or what you know what I mean? And a lot of the times,
a lot of the times I feel like I feel like success for me didn't
feel like success to me because it didn't come with a monetary value. Because
in my mind, I'm thinking that success equals money, and a lot of
the times success might be getting my kids to bed at a thirty instead of
forty five, Like success is yeah, And I have to be able to
identify small wins and allow myself to celebrate those small wins without thinking ain't got
to be a check or shit, just not being in a moment and being
grateful for who I have and what I have or who I've become. Yes,
And I don't feel like like even with the Black Widow, I was
like, man, I want to I want to do a talk show.
I want to talk about sex because one doing script this shit, it takes
too long. I can't write as much as I want to write, and
then have people come over record, so that's hard. And then a lot
of the ship I don't know about, like I felt, me and all
those writers were like, man, how many times can we write about motherfuckers
getting the dig suck and pussy ate? And then that's how we felt.
So it was like, we need to do some more research. We need
to start talking about sex more. We need to start talking to people about
sex. So I love and like I was telling you before, I actually
enjoy having conversations in regards to sex. One I'm older now you know,
two as both of us in YouTube, we've had sex more. But it's
just, like I was telling you, it's a chance to really legit learn,
Like there might be some stuff that you know, I might not even
know that men don't even like, but I'm doing because I'm thinking that you
like it, but you know what I'm saying, or just getting knowledge of
how men be feeling or when certain stuff is done, or you know,
just it's just to me a chance to learn on both parties. Yeah,
I feel like too Erodica doesn't have enough emotion behind it, like like you
said, the feeling behind certain things. I was doing too much by putting
backstories and what a trauma shit. I was trying to do too much because
I was like, oh, I need I want to be compared to Forrest
Gump. Like That's how I was like, I want to write something like
Love Jones or Forrest Gump or Brown. I want people to love what I'm
creating like that, because Erodika can. I feel like Erodicka can be that
Brown Sugar that was a shitty movie, but Forrest Gump my favorite movie.
Forrest Gump. If Jenny, if they showed Jenny all the niggas she was
fucking when she went on that run, it would be considered the porn.
But because they didn't, it's just a movie. So I feel like the
movie would have been great turn if I saw her get fuck. You know
what I'm saying. So that's that's my thinking. So that's what that was
my thought process with Erotica. Oh, erotica doesn't mean a shitty story and
a shitty plot. It could just mean a great story and a great plot
with fucking some fucking I told y'all y'all freaky. I told y'all. Y'all,
y'all some freaks, but no, but no, for real, learn
how to. That's one of the things that I have learned since. Okay,
twenty nineteen, that's what I've been telling people. Twenty nineteen, my
grandmother passed away. She lost her battle to lung cancer. And it was
then that I decided that I am going to live every moment and enjoy the
moment. And then the pandemic happened. Even through the pandemic, I still
even though the pandemic was it, you get vaccinated. I did. And
the reason I did it because no, the reason why I did it was
because I only have one grandparent left. My auntie was telling me, if
you're not vacciny, you cannot come over here and see her because my grandmother's
old. You got your ass and so no, and I got it.
My daughter got it too. Did she get it? Yeah? My daughter
got it. My grandmother did she get it? What COVID vaccine? Yeah
she got it too. So and but but any who, any who,
I'm I decided that I'm gonna Because that was so death had never been so
close to me. So when death came that close to me, I was
like, okay, and and really it shows you like we're not here on
this earth for long and you think I'm about to live my life on earth
being bitter and unhappy and not living and being grateful for even the small thing
like me becoming a fight intendent was one of the best things that I feel
like I've accomplished because people don't understand that train is hard learning. I'm having
your safety. I got to learn how to be I got to be a
doctor, Uh, serve beverages. If a baby come, I got to
be able to deliver the baby on the plane heart attack, I gotta be
able to But I'm just grateful that I Hey, I put my mind to
it, I did it boom right. So yes, be grateful for everything,
the big wins, small wins. Living in life like its trojan,
living in life like it's golden. I didn't really understand that. I didn't
really understand that that song. I didn't understand that song when it came out.
I'm living my life like it's cold. Yeah, I didn't understand that.
I didn't really understand that song when it came out because I was so
young. But now that I'm older. I'm understanding. You know what that
means and how I gotta go about how I gotta go about living my life
like but I wanted to I wanted to leave y'all with that. And I
want to say thank you Sierra for coming over today. Thank you for being
as marvelous as as I figured you. I enjoyed myself. This is fun
es now looks now, Look this is what happens like when this is I
hate to be. I had to turn into sex with this and sex pot
This is like a nigga fucking you're really good and now and then coming back
from more and then you gonna go to the mother pods and be like this
ship ain't the same. No, it's been a good, feel good.
It's been a good vibe. Yeah, conversations see yeah, but but you
gotta think. I gotta have women over here moaning and ship. They gotta
fake suck dick and should I have to. I had to master how to
not for real. You got women come over here to record a voice actor
and she still got on the mic. She got a moan on the mic.
She has to be a comfortable so I had to provide a safe space.
So that's you know what I mean, y'all. I have to have
had a good time today being freaky safe and freaky safe, safe and freaky
Yeah. Shout out to you, and then shout out to the listeners for
just being you know, being patient, and shout out to uh. Hopefully
we can do this again soon, but until then, y'all, stay cool,
y'all, stay safe, and funk how you want. That's my tax
funck how you want. By