I saw something really funny on social media that is called any movie line followed
by you piece of shit. Oh use the force, you piece of shit,
or I'm the king of the world, you piece a shit. And
it made me and Susan laugh so hard last night. So think of a
movie line and then finish it with you, piece as shit, and I
eat your dinner, you piece of shit. Tina, you fat lard,
eat your dinner, you piece of shit, piece of shit. May the
Force be with you, you piece a shit. Man. I always think
of the notebook every time I think of movies. So it's I wrote you
three hundred and sixty five letters. I wrote you every day for a year,
you piece of shit. See that's funny. Uh, here's looking at
you, kid, you piece a shit. You can't handle the truth,
you piece a shit. My mama always said life is like a box of
chocolate, you piece of shit. Jenny just walked in. We're doing a
game that I saw on Instagram where you take any famous movie line and finish
it with you piece of shit. For example, there's no place like home,
you piece of shit. So think of a movie line and then we'll
finish it with you, piece of shit. I'm not like a regular mom.
I'm a cool mom, piece of shit. I was gonna go mean
girls to you. On Wednesdays, we wear pink, you, piece of
shit. Yeah, okay, good, I like it. Now. There's
obviously tons that we have forgotten, but I want to inspire you to send
an email with maybe three or four different movie lines so we can continue this
for a couple of days. So you will write down a couple of movie
lines and then finish it with you piece of shit. So, and we
obviously can't do this on the radio. This is only Minnesota. Goodbye material.
Have you got any more to wrap it up? Bailey? Yeah,
you're a wizard, Harry, you piece of shit. It's also in inflection
of you, piece of shit as well. It's a part of the line.
Yeah. I don't know what other ones you've already said, but have
you said this one? Say hello to my little friend, you piece of
shit? Yeah? Yeah, I like that one. Yep, I'll be
back, you piece of shit. It's if you just think of like a
movie. This is like a good car ride game. So if you're on
your way up to the cabin, you can just bust this out and then
everybody gets to do their you piece of shit. You had me at hello,
you piece of shit. I'm scrolling a little bit here because there are
more. You're gonna need a bigger boat, you piece of shit. Et
phone home, you piece of shit. I'll have what she's having, your
piece of shit. I see dead people, you piece piece of shit.
Last one, nobody puts baby in a corner, you piece of shit.
That actually probably would have enhanced that scene even more. That probably would have
Yeah, movie, I've never seen dirty dancing, never seen dirty dancing.
We really don't have any desire to. Somebody got on me last week because
i'd never seen Blues Brothers, and to me, Blues Brothers was like one
of those movies where I didn't want to see it when I was a kid,
when it was new, and I don't want to see it now when
people are like, no, it's so good, it's so funny, there's
so many memorable lines in there, and I'm like, I'm sorry. It's
the same way some people don't ever want to see Star Wars. It just
doesn't do anything for them. Same way like I never want to watch Lord
of the Rings or any of the those weird weird. Yeah, yeah,
Harry Potters is so good. I understand obviously it is because it's huge.
It's just not my thing. I will never taste in movies and TV me.
But really, I like suspenseful drama. I like pulp fiction. I
like No Country for Old Men. I liked Beverly Hills Cop the first one.
I do like Back to the Future. I like a little comedy here
and there. Okay, but if it's got a dragon or an old man
carrying around a staff made out of a tree branch, fuck that shit,
I'm not watching it. I'm not watching an old man walk around with gray
hair and a wizard's cap leaning on a staff made out of a tree branch.
More for me, then, you piece of shit? Piece of shit?
Are we gonna call this episode? You piece of shit? Why not
sound smart? I think we should. Okay, let's move on to the
emails, you piece as shit, and see what we got. I get
to get the right tab open here, which always takes me a little longer
than it should. Okay, here we go. Don't say my name.
I'm writing in to see how people make friends when they move to a new
place. I moved in August of last year to a small farming town.
I worked at a costco that is one of those more busy stores where I
got injured. I was out for four months. I wanted to transfer to
a slower paced store, so hopefully it won't happen again. I got approved
on my transfer and moved two hours away from anybody that I knew. I've
tried meeting people while I was working, but everyone has their groups, so
it's just me and my six year old. I've enrolled them in things,
and I would talk to other parents in school functions. But because it's a
small farming community town, everybody grew up knowing everyone, and here I am
rolling up from the cities, like, who the hell is this chick.
I'm just lost on how I can make an adult friend when I moved to
a new town when you're not much for drinking. Thanks for any input.
I am not the person to ask about how to make friends. So,
Bailey, you have a million friends, what would you do? I would
say, I mean, you're in a small town, so I'm not sure
exactly what's available to you. But if you have like a community garden or
a book club in the community that you could join, or any kind of
like community education program, depending on how big your town is, if they
have a community education but you could start like taking classes here and there,
and that's how you make friends. I took improv classes, I took burlesque
classes, and now the majority of my friends are from those spheres of people.
So you just take a class somewhere, I wonder, again, I
don't know how small the town is, whether it's four hundred people or four
thousand people, but I'm gonna guess your choices are going to be more limited
in a very small town, right, So, which is why I think
like community garden maybe or a book club, those are more likely. I
think that she's gotten in with her kid, and I think she started down
the right road in getting your kid involved in activities and showing up. And
I think that you know, yeah, people can be clicky if they're from
the same small town, I guess, but they're also kind. There's going
to be kind people that say, oh, she's new here, she doesn't
really know anybody. Let's have her come over for what a country people do
to churn butter. Have her come over to churn butter go to church.
Yeah, let's see people at church. I mean, if you're not a
religious person, it's still a decent place to go and meet people. And
some churches are very very non churchy. Yeah, I mean the church I
went to when I was a kid was more like a community club. Yeah,
we had a sermon on Sunday, but the main highlight for everybody,
honestly, was not even the praising the Lord Jesus Christ. It was going
downstairs and having cookies and cookies and donuts and coffee after the words gossip time
with the church galley. It really was. And my mom and dad would
stay for at least an hour after every sermon service, and that was like
a country club. So there are probably some churches that are very non churchy,
and just find one of those and then maybe join a group there.
They probably have like volunteer ladies at the church, and you could join that
group of ladies. And I was gonna say volunteering at the school also,
yeah, oh yeah, yeah, so well good luck. That does kind
of suck. Hello, guys, love you guys. Bailey is an awesome
addition. I love your new show. Just wanted to add a little bit
of friendly advice. Dave get An, Alexa or Google machine in your bedroom
for when you have a great idea, you're laying in bed. You don't
have to touch or move anything on your body, not even open your eyes,
just shout her name and tell her remind me insert your idea here.
Oh I see. So it would be like she plugged in or she's not
plugged in. So I'd be like, hey, Alexa, remind me to
ABC in the morning. They say it's amazing, have a good day.
Okay, I'll try that. Yeah, because you weren't here yesterday, Jenny,
I was talking about how I dreamed of a great idea and I couldn't
remember it. And I woke up the next morning, yesterday morning, and
I only remembered that I had a great idea, but not what the idea
was. And I still And the funny thing is I might have thought it
was a great idea and it was trash and it was totally and you were
in the middle of sleeping, yep. I have like dreams about bits that
I wake up and I was like, could that be an actual bit?
But it was definitely like a dream bit where it wouldn't be able to work
on the radio or something. But I do have dreams about ideas. Sometimes
if you're an idea for a bit, let us know. And once in
a while people will send us ideas for a bit, and sometimes they're really
good, and sometimes they're like really not really not yeah, but you know
what I mean. Sometimes, you know what, We're always opening to new
ideas, So let us know. All right, we're gonna get back to
the tipping thing. This is from Brandon. He says life has been so
much less stressful after I set boundaries for tipping one dollar per drinket bars and
restaurants, and ten to eighteen percent based on service and sit down situations.
I used to do a flat twenty, but I started valuing having a good
experience while dining out and started to do arrange. When businesses raise prices,
pickup orders, get nothing but my monetary support for the business. Now to
my problem. We've got a wedding coming up for about one hundred and fifty
people, and every vendor seems to want a tip, even if they don't
ask every single vendor. We just paid forty five hundred dollars to our caterer
for fifty percent of our food bill, and they asked for ten twenty five
percent tips while checking out really just a casual four hundred and fifty to eleven
twenty five tip on the zero services provided so far. There's also a thirty
percent event production fee included in there. It's wild, I'm so overtipping.
We aren't given tips after we spend on nine thousand dollars on a three item
buffet with paper plates and plastic utensils. Sorry, not sorry. If you
have any stickers again, let me know. Jenny, you might remember me
is the guy that drove up to visit a dude in Fargo, only to
have him drive back down to the cities alongside me on the highway to visit
someone else. Do you remember this, Jenny, Yeah, I think so.
I mean, unfortunately, we've heard so many crappy stories about dudes or
girls that do things like that. But yeah, you said, fuck that
guy. Though, I'm about to get married to the best guy and I've
never been happier, and he doesn't know about War of the Roses, so
that's always a fallback. Haha. Anyway, thank you, Brandon. I
sha that one. Yeah, I don't know. I think that I do
have one experience with a wedding that I paid for recently and the DJ did
a great job. They did a great job, but we either didn't tip
enough or didn't tip at all. I think you didn't tip enough? Is
that what it was was? I'm almost positive? And he wrote and he
was really pissy and he was very upset that he didn't get enough of a
tip, and he was like, did I not do a good job?
I thought I did a really good job. And I'm like, no,
you did a great job. Obviously there was a misunderstanding about what a good
tip for a wedding DJ is. And I don't I mean, if I
paid a wedding DJ, I don't know what, do they make six hundred
dollars maybe, I don't know. I would give him probably a fifty or
one hundred dollars tip. Maybe, yeah, wouldn't you think that's enough?
I mean, I can see what the what Brandon is saying too, that,
like you are paying for their service, and so I guess, I
don't know. I guess I get the whole like, oh, they're raising
their price and we're just tipping on the raised prices and we should be,
you know, not tipping as much. But well, then what I mean,
you could make the argument. I mean waitresses, servers, they don't
get paid much. They rely on tips. But if I'm going to hire
a caterer for a wedding, you lay out your shit, you cook your
shit, you put it out there, whatever, you put out the plates
and whatever. That's your job that I have. That is literally what I
have paid forty five hundred dollars for. Why do you need a tip?
And if you are in the wedding industry, tell me what tell me about
this because there's a lot of people who listen. Do you tip your photographer?
You pay your photographer five hundred or five thousand dollars for your wedding pictures?
That's just a guess. Do they get a tip on top of that?
Because what are you fucking tipping them for? Then if you're tipping them,
why are you paying them five thousand dollars? Yeah, this is Brandon's
really uh brought something to light that I never thought of before. That's why
you just got to a lope, Yes, just a lope and forget about
all the expensive costs of a wedding because that all just like verifies even further
that I never want to have a wedding next one. Hey, Hi,
Hello, says Sarah. I hope you're having a wonderful day. Love the
addition to Vonton Bailey to the show. I can hear the excitement in Dave's
voice. It has changed some with the new additions in the best way possible.
Everyone is vibing and continuing and contributing to the show. It's a lot
of fun to listen and hear you all interact with each other. Nice job
in cultivating an awesome team, Dave. I thought i'd pass along a situation
for the Minnesota Goodbye. My husband and I were in Saint Paul a few
weekends ago to see Iron and Wine at the Palace Theater. We kicked off
our evening at the Emerald Lounge. It's a very intimate bar area, small
and cozy. The coat rack was right next to where I was sitting.
We sat down. I hung my bag on a totally empty coat rack.
It was a rainy Saturday, and as other patrons entered the restaurant, many
hung their coats on the coat rack. I saw every single person do this.
I could have handed the coach back out to peace people. I think
she means by that, as she was sitting so close to it. Yeah.
A man who I saw passed back and forth in front of the restaurant
a number of times, came in the front door, took the ten or
fifteen steps over to the coat rack. He began to take multiple coats off
the rack and look at the tags. I knew, without a doubt these
coats did not belong to him, so I spoke up. I said,
hey, those belonged to somebody here. He looked at me and he thought
for a moment and said, oh, I thought they were for sale,
still holding onto the coachs. I said, nope, those belonged to people
in the restaurant. He did hang them back up and then walked directly out
and left the area. How weird? Would you have said something or let
him take them? My husband said, if you see somebody stealing in at
a grocery store, you walk away. You don't know their situation. I
agree with that, but we were not at a grocery store and this person
was not stealing food. Lastly, as we walked over to the Palace theater,
I watched somebody bust out a car window middle of the day, lots
of people around, like, what the fuck? I do not subscribe to
the idea that the cities is totally unsafe. I'd love being in the cities.
It was just a weird experience. Have a great day. Let's jump
back to the guy with the coats. Clearly, the guy with the coats
was there to steal the coats, because if you thought they were for sale,
you don't walk into a restaurant that's clearly a restaurant and start picking up
several coats like you're going to buy several different sizes, styles, and genders
of coats. So the guy was full of shit. You absolutely did the
right thing. I'm going to go to the grocery store, and I will
also say if I saw somebody stealing food, I would not say, well,
you don't know what their situation is. Stealing is stealing, and I
have to pay for that food. If you steal from a grocery store,
I'm not going to give you the benefit of the doubt. I'm not going
to say they can't afford food. I'm going to say they steal whatever they
can get their fucking hands on. And that's just me. But there are
places to get food besides stealing it from a grocery store. I mean aren't
there. There are food shelves and food banks and Catholic charities. And who's
the old lady that's on TV every Christmas that she's always dancing with little kids?
You know, she's like this old bag. She's been on TV for
every Sister Mary Catherine Elliott or something like that. Oh you know what I'm
talking about, sharing and caring hands. Okay, I see who's the lady
that does that. She's one hundred and seventeen years no idea. She's doing
the Lord's work, Bailey. Okay, I'm looking it up. Sharing Sister
Catherine and Mary Elliott, Sister Catherine, Mary Joe Copeland, that's her.
Yes, yes, Mary Joe Copeland. She's doing the Lord's work. There's
all kinds of places to get food. I am not going to give you
a pass if you're stealing stuff from a grocery store. So that's me because
I'm a dick. I will say it's impressive that he came up out of
nowhere, like from his ass, like, oh I thought they were for
sale. That was quick. He probably didn't come up with that out of
nowhere. He probably has thinking about it. What he can say and that
thing to steal though, Jenny coats, I mean coats. It is strange,
but I don't know. I don't know people's situations obviously, and maybe
that it feels more of a maybe he didn't need the coat. He wanted
to sell the coat and find like a nice coat to sell and get money.
You did the right thing, and then they said we walked over to
the palace seat or some somebody brought bust out a car window middle of the
day, lots of people around, like what the heck again, stealing is
stealing, and I'm sorry. There's always a victim when you are stealing.
And people steal from Target and go, well, they're a multi billion dollar
corporation. They're not going to miss like, you know, nail polish and
some hairspray, you know, But still I don't know. Still, like
it's the moral of it. Don't steal. Isn't that the thing that people
say from birth? Don't steal? Well, I think I was going to
say, I think, yeah, yeah, yeah, but if I witnessed,
like somebody busting out a window. Anytime I've witnessed crime, which isn't
a lot, but I always want to be the person who's like, hey,
hey, you stop that, and then I never say anything. Yeah,
I've I've never really seen anybody steal anything, honestly. Oh you know
one time. This is not quite the same, but we used to be
in Butler Square downtown Minneapolis, and I would walk in from the parking ramp
onto the second floor and it was a big, huge, open atrium of
glass boxes with a store here and a bakery here and an office over here.
And I came in on the second floor. It's dark, not all
the lights were on. And over here in the other corner was a glass
box that held a little general store with cookies and magazines and pop and chips
and that type of thing. And there were a bunch of guys standing around
with a bunch of broken glass all over the floor. Oh, and I
thought, oh, somebody must have broken the glass and they're fixing it.
No, I witnessed the guys actually breaking into that store, and they could
have killed me. They could have done any because they didn't expect somebody to
walk in at four o'clock in the morning to do the morning show. And
here's dumb ass Dave Ryan walking in right across a crime scene. And they
just pretended that they didn't see me, or maybe they didn't see me,
but they had to have. But I thought about that later because I found
out they weren't there to fix it. They were stealing at that moment.
And if I would have known they were stealing, there's no way I would
have said, hey, hey, morning, Yeah, all right, this
is a little bit longer one, but I'm going to go and as we
are out of time, that is going to wrap it up for the Minnesota
Goodbye. Send in your emails with the U Piece of Shit movie line.
That'd be kind of funny. Anything else you want to talk about and stealing
and grocery stores and coats, whatever you want to talk about. Ryan Show
at kadiwb dot com