Adventist Radio London. Inspiration for the song We welcome the talking Point with Ray
Sen Pedro Angeler discussing the hot topics and answering your questions Saturday's five to seven
pm on Adventist Radio London. It's talking Point, it's talking Point, it's
talking point, it's talking point. Conversations you need to have and good afternoon,
Good afternoon to you. It's about seven minutes past the hour of five
o'clock and you are listening to Adventists Radio London. We are back up and
running. We've had some technical issues for the day really and I think we've
just managed to get it sorted sorted in time for talking Point. Thank you
to Paul and the technicians who have been working tirelessly to get us live and
on the ear. So welcome to you. I do hope you've had a
good sabbath. I hope you've had a good week, and I trust you
already for the conversation that we are about to have this afternoon. Hopefully we'll
be able to do Satura night praise after looking forward to spending the evening playing
your favorites and looking forward to having your company there as well. But in
the meantime, joined as always by my trusted partner in crime, sorry,
partner in Christ. Partner in Christ. That never get old for me,
Angela. I know Pedro is actually on the road today, but I'm sure
he is listening. So good appening to you, Pedro, Angela. How
are you say hello to the folks? Accident? It is seeming there wasn't
it. Yes, I'm not too bad. I'm okay. I'm feeling a
little tired, and I alway say I'm tired. The fatigue and exhaustion feels
real these days. But I've had kind of a chill day, I said,
at home today, the sort of kind of getting up and driving anywhere.
It was just so I took Sabbath rest today, you know, went
to church online and listened into a couple of services Balat and Quid, and
I've kind of switched between a couple of them and listening to music as well
today. So yeah, I took it easy. So yeah, I'm okay.
It's been a It's been a busy week, as always, the days
of flowing past workers always busy. I ran a couple of workshops this week,
which is actually quite nice thing to do. Looking at him looking at
the power of sense something in aromatherapy as a music, roma, essential oils,
and sort of like sometimes we look at the way things can impact us,
you know, with our senses, so we listen to music that can
definitely be good for your well being. But I was looking at the sense
of smell, which is quite an interesting one. So yeah, it's it's
been an interesting week for various reasons. But here we are, here,
we are. Indeed, we just blown past and we're going back again doing
talking points. So yes, so good, So thank you everyone for joining
us. Looking for the conversation today as always. Yeah, I mean it's
been up and down. I mean it's been that kind of year already.
To be fair, my mum hasn't been well. She's struggling with high blood
pressure and it's been spiking as of late, so we've just been keeping an
eye on that, keeping an eye on her, and then there's other bits
and pieces going on, and it's just feels like it's gone up a nutch.
I'm not sure what I did right or what I did wrong, but
it's been a bit chaotic. But I am really really thankful, as you
said, for the Sabbath rest. I got a beautiful message from a friend
today that reminded me that's what the sabbath is for, you know, just
for reconnecting and sort of recharging and refreshing. And so I'm really grateful for
that. And here we are another week. They are flying by, and
you know, I am saying it, and I know I'm going to get
so much flak. But before you know it, it will be Christmas.
Well, January has practically finished in coming up to February. And even though
February I didn't realize this, Actually, do your twenty nine days a leap
year? Yes? Yes, apparently twenty night now twenty twenty four four seems
to be alap here. So even though we're gonna have an extra day in
February, before we know it will be more away the time, we're blessed
with seeing those days. But yeah, I miss it. And it's been
very springl like the weather, hasn't it. Yes, I mean he's been
a complete turnaround from the week before. Couple of weeks it had been a
couple of I think the sun is quite assumes quite I don't know, larger
into this false sense of security, we've seen the sun I'm thinking, actually,
yeah, it's looking quite nice, and I've gone outside and I felt
the breeze and just thought, okay, that's nice. So, you know,
it was one day I was like, I went in and bought myself
back. I went to a shop and bought myself a hat. So I've
come out with that one, which is very unlike me. But I was
just like, oh did It's not that warm, but it's warmer than it
has been. So I'm grateful for her, and I'm grateful for some time
because that makes such a difference. You can see that the people as well,
and the back people seem to be a little bit more upbeat. Female
smiles and the seems bearable. You know. I like the idea when you
know you're wrapped up and you're wrapped up and your snug and what have you,
but the sky is bright. Yeah, also my favorite kind of days.
I'm not particularly keen for scotchy hot weather. I know so many are,
but uh yeah, these past three days have been right up my street.
Really enjoyed just being cozy and as you said, seeing the blue skies
up above, lovely reminder that summer is on its way. Perhaps, Yeah,
fast, I think on the forecast it's going to be. I think
it's going to thing is going to be okay, but you can never tell
because we go up and down. Indeed, I think the fact that you
know, we have the meetiologist who are able to track the weather, I
think that's really fascinating. I think it's amazing. Look at that's skill to
do that. They give it their best, but you know they pretty they're
pretty on it, you know, looking at there's obviously things that can tell
can tell people to tell you what's going to happen. You know, God
has given those kind of signs and warning signs or you know, the clues
there. So the fact that they can do that, I think it's pretty
amazing. But true British fashion, English fashion, and we just never know
who has that is strong. Be prepared for every weather, they say in
one day they say as well, isn't it sorry? Yeah, yeah,
well I am conscious that waiting patiently in the wings is Allison, who is
going to lead the conversation today. We are going to it's sort of the
final session for now as we're wrapping up the campaign that we've been running for
January bringing down strongholds and it's been an excellent informative discussion. Week after week.
Alison has really sort of shunned the light and several issues provided us with
additional assnry as we look at the weapons that are available to us. And
we've had really good feed break as well from our listeners, from persons who
have taken on board and even put into action some of the things that they
have already learned. So, Alison, I want to say thank you.
I want to say welcome back. I stayed every week. I will say
it again. You are an honorary member of the Talking Point team. It's
always a pleasure to have you on board. Alison is an author, a
psychotherapist, and I know, Alison, you've recently released your latest book,
which is Relationships Unique Boundaries of Effectiveness for Success and Fulfillment. And wanted to
say, please, please, when you're ready to sort of do some full
blown campaigning or promotion on that, do come back with us and let's have
a quick chat or in depth chat even about what is revealed within the pages
of those books of that book. But Allison, good Afternoon doesn't have how
I Good Afternoon, Dania, Hi Angela. It's lovely to be back.
It's lovely to be back with the listeners. Thank you so much for me.
He's been really lovely to be joining you in January, and I'm glad
that we've had a chance to discuss some really important mental emotional wellbeing issues.
And yes, it's lovely to be back. I'm good. I, like
Angela, had a RESTful sabbath, worshiped from home today. My daughter has
been down with a cold, and so we decided to just have some rest
home and I it's quite nice sometimes to just reseat, yes and spend that
time with God on the sabbath. So yeah, it's been lovely. Thank
you, wonderful to see you, and I hope your your daughters were better
soon. I think a lot of colds and flu et cetera going around.
Is that time of the year, I guess, but yes, yes,
it's not nice. The thing is, I think times when you get cold
at this time of the year as well, you really struggle to shift it.
Uh huh, because I'm not the better from from mine. I've still
got a bit of a still a bit congested, and you know, it
still coughings these occasionally, So it's because it's never ending. But yes,
so I do wish her well. Thank you. All right, let's pray.
We'll take a song break and then we'll come back with a bit of
a recap, I imagine, and then we'll go full blown into the conversation
that we're having today with the topic is knowing your wealth definitely farther. We
thank you for another opportunity to have this discussion, these very important conversations that
we have on talking points. Thank you for the technology and bringing it back
up and running just in time. I pray that all will go well and
that our listeners will truly be blessed, and us too taking part in Jesus'
name, I pray Amen and a man God's fin for God is on outside.
He is overcome, Yes, he is sober come. We will not
be shaken. He will not be moon. She's a supery oh, carrying
the birds covering of shame. He is so the come mast be a sober
come. We will not be shaken. We will not be moon. She's
a shoe, I will say, I will, we will not tell the
resration how rist belive in me and n and Priest Jesus said, oh,
killing my bird is codling God shade pis on the chess p s on the
We will not be saying he won me. I mean I will not time
you enstion how ris blating medium and not a free Jesus, I will I
will not time. I will see your side. Ex Jesus. The in
the name exeuses the stow around the name of Jesus God standings to sing back
the tars, pelling out the jam, making the sack feelings. Then person
he shouted out, showing it out God sting the times saying when he shouted
at s said, don start, didn't know shaded fast, shouting and showing
a way not rash, love the sea and that free shot away not shocking,
lilt to sound to stop starts shows at times, says shot shot shot
So I can't be starting to siqua showing the SI. We will shouting out,
shouting it shut shut, just talking offline about that song and just enjoying
the words. It's Israel and new breed and we really enjoyed that one.
Welcome back to Talking Point and as always, you can be part of the
conversation. Absolutely. You can contact us in the usual ways, so studio
at Adventisradio dot London or you can text us eight Texas, text us on
eight triple to eight, write the world hope space and then your message,
or you can WhatsApp zero seven four five nine six four two eight nine eight.
We are also on Zoom and we're inviting you to be part of the
discussion that way, if you'd like. The ID is seven seven to one
nine three eight six to zero nine. So we are inviting you as always
to be part of the discussion. If you've got a question for Allison,
or a question that you'll just want to let the team or to anyone else
who's listening, then please to share it with us, or if you've got
a comment, we're happy to share that as well. So, Angie,
we have been front and center for this conversation that we've been having bringing down
strongholds. And we started this campaign at the top of the year, and
I think we felt that it was a good way to start twenty twenty four
sort of equipping persons and ourselves with the tools that we need to bring down
the strongholds in our lives. And Allison started to talk very well at the
very beginning the first weekend of the month. We're just listing out some of
those strongholds that we would be unpacking, and we've done. We've dealt with
depression, We've dealt with worry and fear and anxiety, We've dealt with some
really heavy hitters, and it's gone deep this month, it really has gone
deeper. And we're hoping this might be the lighter side of the topic.
But we understand that we're dealing with some things and as Alison rightly starts the
discussions, we're not fighting on flesh, you know, it's not of self.
So we understand that these things can be demonic, sorry, and also
they can have such holes in our lives that it's very hard for us to
bring them down, to break the chains, and so we have to be
really, really committed to doing what we need to do, to seeking the
support we need to seek and to saturate ourselves in the word. What were
some of the things that you pulled from the discussions we've had so far.
If you want to start all the way at the top of the introduction,
or if there's something that's fresh mind, I just let me know. I
mean, I think I think definitely it was a really I think it's been
a good start to our year. I mean, you know, we also
talk at the beginning of the year age, you know, setting goals,
you know, new visions, everything else. But lest I mean, I
have to think sometimes we girls setting especial when you preparing for the new year,
that preparation does need to start from let's say September. However we skipch
the new year, and you know, the time is flying past. So
actually, sometimes what tends to happen and we are still holding onto, say
holding onto things, there are still things that are may be holding us we
may be holding onto or things that are holding us back. But actually,
you know, we start a new year or a new period in our lives
or whatever that could be, and actually we're fighting a battle right from the
get go because those things are still there. And sometimes it feels like we
haven't really got time to really reflect on it properly and really start that work,
because you're still carrying on. And as we've already said, you know
we're in twenty twenty four, you know, months almost gone, and you
know the battle is real as it were, but it is really important to
be able to take that time. And actually, you know, we've been
focusing on different areas and some of those things that we are just doing them
from day in day out actually to stop and say, you know what,
there are ways to be able to manage this in a different way, in
a more effective way, and you know, recognizing that there are so many
things that can really hold us back, you know. And I really liked
I'm quite a visual person, and I really liked the way Alison has kind
of demonstrated what these things are in terms of you know, when you think
about what a stronghold is used to be, like, you know, like
a tour building as it were, with big walls, and you know,
in some ways they could be really useful, you know, or what have
you in the battle, but actually it's those very same things that potentially we're
perfect protective factors become the ones that are holding us captive. You know,
we did, like way should have broke that down, and I think,
you know, it's very easy for sometimes as Christians to think that actually we
shouldn't necessarily be dealing with some of these things because we've got God on our
side and were happy. But the reality is, you know, sometimes we
are dealing with stuff and things are holding us back, and sometimes we're in
a point of position where we don't really know what we can do. So
the fact that actually we've been given we've been given to me because we've been
talking about it. We've been given some kind of ideas and thoughts and actually
how we can manage those things, or even just to recognize that those things
are actually the strong hooles that are holding us back. Yes, I like
what you said there about about it being a new year, but we bring
our old mindset into the new year. We bring our same problem into the
new year. There is no magic wand at midnight, So it really,
it really does mean that we have to tackle this. We've got to be
strategic. We've got to really put the plans and the processes in place to
bring these strongholds down. And we are not the beauty of what Allison has
been sharing. It is not something that is new. It's not something that
we have to do alone, and it's not something that we cannot find the
victory for with God's help. And I love how she's broken it down and
really sort of add a shiner light on some of these issues. And yeah,
it's a new year, but we still have to take some very old,
perhaps fundamental approaches and sort of help ourselves. Yeah, and I think
you know, I really liked as well. How ultimately, you know,
she said, we can't do this on our own. There are things that
we can do ourselves, there are people that we can go to help support,
but ultimately it's, you know, our connection to God that is really
going to bring us through. And I love the way I was given us
so many texts to kind of you know, to lean on. You know,
ultimately, it's about how we can immerse ourselves in the word. Think
about those promises that God has given us. And the Bible is full of
those means. You know, we've been talking about having been one one a
day, eight thousand promises in the Bible. Yeah, one a minute.
Maybe there's been so many things to link in because there's lots of practical ways
and things that we can do, And has given us quite a few of
those things there as well. You know, we talked last I mean last
week was a heavy one about depression, but worry, anxiety and fear,
you know, the way we you know, the way our thoughts are.
You know, there's a text and I think it's in It's in Proverbs.
So man thinks in his heart is key. You know. Actually, if
we're not careful, we can let our thoughts overtake us and play in itself,
become you know, illogical, irrational, they you know, they take
a hold on us. But again, think about what we can do to
feed our minds. You know, what we're surrounding ourselves with, what's going
to be impacting us, with influencing us. So again, you know,
and one of those things is to kind of do you know, so mercurselves
in the words, So I really loved actually how there's a real spiritual There
is a spirituals and fact inside to all of this alongside all the practical things
that we can do as well. And I think it's really important that we
recognize that both of those can compliment each other and both are equally as important.
You know. As much as we know we can pray out worries away,
sometimes we have to do practical steps and find people. You know,
we've we've looked at counseling, therapy, ale, that kind of thing.
We've looked at those kind of areas. But sometimes we as Christians can be
very reluctant maybe to reach out to those same people who can help us,
who I believe have been blessed and gifted to be able to support other people.
So, you know, if there's been a lot there that we can
kind of look at, and altimately we're looking at this holistically as well.
You know, it's not just looking at one aspect, it's all the other
things that kind of join together that can help us be quite rounded individuals how
we look at stuff. So and I think that's going to feeding very nicely
to what we're gonna be talking about today, because ultimately, when we recognize
whose image we are made in, you know, how important and how special
God values us, it's about I'm going to get the way it's title as
we talked about you knowing our work, that makes perfect sense. But you
know, it's been interesting. Actually we've done always doing this this around.
But I think that's going to be a nice reminder to say, you know
what, despite all of those these things we've looked at those things, we've
got to kind of understand and really reflect on where to me this is coming
from. And it could be a thousands of one reasons why we're worrying,
why we've got fear or anxiety about something, and unfortunately, where that can
then lead to an illness, that depression. But ultimately, if we can
kind of really recognize how important we are if you said and done, I
recognize that because people's situations, experiences, and trauma feeds into all of this.
But ultimately, if we can kind of get ourselves back on tracking that
kind of way, that's a good starting place to try and deal with some
of the things that we be talking about we've talked about. I wanted to
add there for those who have missed the discussion, I know Allison has committed
to providing us with access to the zoom presentation that she's prepared, so those
who were listening but didn't have the visual you can have that. And also
the programs have been podcasted and are available on speaker, So if you just
want to have a re listen, if you just want to save, like
I will save it for that rainy day or that day when you might need
that information. If you don't now, then you must, and you can
access the information once more in that regard. And also I want to pitch
that question out again. We pitch it at the very top, and I
want to say again, is it possible for Christians, real Christians, whatever
that might mean? For you to be facing and dealing with some of these
issues that we've been discussing. Can a Christian can a person of faith struggle
with worry and fear and depression? If so, why and if not why
I want to hear from you. Please do get in touch again. It's
eh triple two eight hope space and then your message, or you can email
if you're further Afield studio at Adventist Radio dot London, and of course you
can come onto the zoom. We are inviting you on there. Details are
seven seven one nine three eight six two zero nine. I really did enjoy
how as you said, Jela also looked at both sides. You know,
it could be physical and I know personally of persons who are struggling with a
real physical illness that leads to or a physical aspect of mental illness. Could
be stuff that's in the genes, could be wiring. It could be an
I know Elson you spoke of dose and all that other stuff that's actual physical
and medical and elements is there as well. But it also could be that
we're dealing with forces that are beyond us. And I like when you said
that thoughts are just thoughts and we have to be able to control them and
not let them control us, because that's the beginning of the end, if
you will, if we let those thoughts and those those fears and those worries
take us over. There's a healthy aspect you mentioned. You know, you're
walking across the street, you really don't want to be concerned whether a car
is coming. You don't just want to be running across Willy nearly as they
see. But when things become too much or overwhelming or overbearing, and it's
starting to impact how you live and how you love and how you enjoy life,
then there is a point where you may need to seek assistance. So
you may need to really look at what you're dealing with and how you can
get the help to deal with it. And I think we've sort of said
enough. Person I don't think here feeling very satisfying hearing everything being playedback.
It's it's really it's really nice were listening, yeah, And I think it's
you know, it's much to you know, we're putting this out there for
people to listen. It's been quite empowering. I speak to myself as well,
just to come and hear this, because you know, despite what we
you know, I know, so I know some of this information, but
it's always good to have a reminder we'll just look at things in a very
different way. So that's been it's been good for me in that respect to
hear all of this, and you know, hopefully I ca'n try and put
some of this into practice and just you know, make sure I'm looking after
myself as well as you know, trying to sort of help others. So
yeah, yeah, I just just just wanted to add to what Samuel was
saying. Yeah, you know, one of the best things that God has
given us is the ability to reason, and he even says, come and
let us reason together. So it's really important that when we have these thoughts,
we have these feelings, you know, we have these ideas that we
reason, we use our minds. The mind is a is a very kind
of high gift that God has given us to be able to use our mind
to reason. It's an amazing thing. So let's let's reason with him.
And yes, let's reason about when to cross the way and cross the undimate.
You were saying as well, you know that we're really important for us
to know the truth, and ultimately that truth will set you free. So
again it's really trying to sort of unpack, delve into things, looking where
things are coming from, you know, looking at you said reason, explore,
discover for yourself, you know, and really sort of understand and recognize
the truth, because that definitely will be your saving graces. Are so right,
Alison, over to you. I know there is quite a bit more
for us to discuss, and why we have the topic this afternoon, knowing
your worsh take it away, Okay, yeah, today we're looking at knowing
your work. But I really do, like normally like to start with just
looking at the key text that we've been using for this series, and it's
coming from Second Corinthians, Chapter ten, Versus three to five, which says,
for the weapons of our warfare are not cannal, but mighty in God,
for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments, and every high thing that
exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the
obedience of Christ. Before that, it says, though we are made of
the flesh, we do not battle with the flesh. And I think it's
really this scripture text is really powerful. It's a really important one that's kind
of you know, underpinned all of the things that we've been looking at this
series, and today, of course we're focusing on explore orrowing, knowing my
worth, knowing my worth. Let's start by exploring our worth and you know,
some of the things key questions that I really want to start by asking
us to reflect on who am I? I know that this is a quite
a common question. Who am I? You know, if you if you
haven't asked yourself that question, please do. It's a very important question.
What factors in my past or press and or present contribute to how I perceive
myself? And why am I here? What's my purpose? So you know,
those are really really important questions and hopefully maybe by the end of this
of the program today you'll have more clear answers to those questions or your answer
great, glad to hear it. Your answers to those questions might be enhanced.
That was technology. I do apologize. So when we talk about the
self, when we talk about who we are, it's very important that we
know that there are various aspects of self, you know, and you know,
when we think deeply about okay, what am I about? Who am
I? How do I define myself. That various ways in which we can
think about self. So we can think about self self concept, our perception
of who we are. So our self concept is, you know, the
thoughts that we have, the preferences, the habits, the hobbies, the
skills, areas of weakness, areas of strength. That's really the self concept.
That's how when we talk about self concepts, that's what we're talking about.
So when we think about who am I, what are my thoughts,
what are my preferences, we can look at that we can define that as
self concept. And then we have what we call self image, which is
the way in which we see ourselves. And we can see ourselves based on
accurate thoughts or feelings or information, or even based on inaccurate thoughts, feelings,
or information about ourselves. So how we see ourselves is the image,
is the self image. And then we have what we call the self worth,
which is really what we want to kind of focus on in today's discussion.
So self worth is a recognition that we are valuable human beings and worthy
of love, worthy of respect, worthy of you know, being safe in
our environment, whether of the kind of basic safety needs in life like food,
shelter. You know, every human being is deserving of that kind of
love, respects, recognition, and that's the self worth, that's what we
call self worth. And then we've got self confidence. And our self confidence
is the is the trust that we have in ourselves really and our ability to
deal with challenges, solve problems, and engage in things aspects around us,
things in the world, you know, successfully kind of engaging activities that we
need to engage engaging. When we have that trust in ourselves in our ability
to do those things, then we have self confidence. And then we have
what we call or self efficacy, which is our ability to succeed at certain
specific tasks. So you know, if we're efficient in I don't know,
maybe cooking, for example, were very efficient in playing particular spots for example,
that's that's our self efficacy. So it's really important to recognize what we're
good at, what were efficient, where we succeed, what things we succeed
are doing. And then we have what we call self compassion, and that's
how we relate to ourselves. And rather than judging ourselves or rather than criticizing,
being self critical, it's about being kind, It's about being forgiving,
to ourselves. So these aspects of selves, you know, it's really worth
kind of knowing. And then we also have what we call self esteem,
self esteem and self acceptance. So self esteem is about how we evaluate ourselves.
It's about comparing ourselves perhaps to certain people, comparing ourselves in certain situations
on how we do certain things against how other people do them, how other
people perhaps may perceive us or evaluate us. That's that's our self esteem,
and it's contingent on circumstances. Our selvisteem is normally quite fragile because it just
like I said, it depends on circumstances. So selvice team can change.
One minute, we can think, well, we've got very high self esteem.
Next minute we might think, well, you know, I'm not feeling
very good about myself because of the way people are judging me, evaluating me,
of the way I'm judging myself against other people. Selvest team has mixed
effects on well being. And like I said, we have self acceptance and
that really is relating to the self. We don't need to be comparing ourselves
to other people. It's also it can also be contingent on circumstances. But
there's a security with self acceptance because it's really not it's non critical. It's
just accepting yourself for who you are, and so that there's a sense of
security. It's not fragile. It doesn't matter what other people are thinking,
what other people are saying. It's the ability to just accept us for who
we are. And you know, when we can be self accepting, this
generally has a possible positive effect on our well being. So really, generally
speaking, our ability to recognize our true worth depends on whether we focus on
our self esteem or self acceptance. I've got on the screen a kind of
comparison between self esteem and self acceptance. When we share the slides, you'll
be able to see them if you're just listening. So moving on, when
we talk about self esteem, what are some of the factors that kind of
impact on our self esteem. The reason I'm looking at this is because I
know that, you know, self esteem is a hot topic. Many people
want to have high self esteem, you know, good self esteem. But
you know, like you said, self esteem is quite quite fragile and just
depends on really circumstances, what's happening in the environment. So what are some
of the factors that impact on self esteem. It could be family environments.
So you could be from a family that's very validating, that's very supportive,
that's very kind of loving and trust worthy, and in that sense you will
have quite probably quite good self esteem because you're getting the security and validation from
your your family environment. It could be based on achievement or physical appearance,
or you know, especially nowadays where social media is the thing. You know,
most people are posting their best, the best versions of themselves, so
to speak, on social media, and for some people that's kind of building
enhancing their self esteem. On the other hand, you know, physically,
if you don't think, well, I look good enough, that can have
a negative impact on self esteem. Self belief is an important one, so
that's really what you believe about yourself. Do you believe you're you're good enough?
Do you believe you are you are worthy? Do you believe you your
your failure? Do you believe that you know life's worth living because you know
you're a high achiever and you're going to make it in life. Your self
belief can directly impact on your self esteem and then your ability to do things
proficiently, your ability to do various tasks to a good standard or to a
high standard can have a direct impact on your self esteem and also obviously your
kind of the people that you interact with, your friends, your acquaintances,
people at work. You know, those relationships, if they're good, if
they're healthy, can bump off your self esteem. If they're not healthy,
can be quite detrimental to your self esteem. So when we talk about self
esteem, we're talking about, you know, something that's really influenced by different
different factors. Nowadays, a lot of people have issues with low self issis
a lot of the problems that people have with other things that we've looked at.
Worry, anxiety, depression will directly impact on self esteem or self steam
will directly cause some of those issues. So how does it really come about?
What keeps it going? Some of the things that really directly impact on
selvis low self esteem and keep it going things like our core beliefs. Our
core beliefs are fundamentally the beliefs that we hold the lens through which we see
we perceive ourselves. Uh, And a lot of the time that's determined by
messages that's been handed over to us by you know, maybe family, maybe
friends, colleagues, environments, and we start to believe certain things about ourselves.
So if we have if somebody set to us several times, you know,
you're I don't think you're very good. I don't think you're going to
make it. I don't think you're very bright. You know, then we
start to think maybe something along the lines of I'm a failure or I'm not
good enough, and that core believe becomes the thing becomes the main kind of
lens through which you're viewing yourself. And if you're holding a negative core believe
of yourself, that can be quite damaging. It means that, you know,
you start to develop what we call unhelpful rules for living. You start
to make assumptions. So if I'm not good enough, for example, if
I'm a failure for example, I must say yes to anything anybody asks of
me for example. Or I must please people for example, or you know,
I can't say no to anything. Those are some common kind of unhelpful
rules for living people tend to adopt. And then what also happens is that
people have kind of like negative predictions, So you know, start to predict,
start to anticipate or foresee things that might happen. And this these predictions
become negative. And if the predictions, if you think, well, if
I don't say yes every time somebody asks me to do something, then they're
going to hate They're going to hate me, or they're going to dislike me.
That will make us engage in unhelpful behaviors, It will make us kind
of go out of our way. Then maybe to do things that will make
us to perhaps seek reassurance for other people from other people, depend on other
people to tell us how, tell us whether we're good enough, or tell
us that you know, we're not a failure, or you know, provide
positive feedback, and that that type of reassurance seeking can be quite detrimental because
you're looking for somebody else to provide that value to you, rather than perhaps
looking to God or actually kind of searching yourself for what your strengths are.
When you don't think you're good enough, when you have a low self esteem
or you've got negative core believes about yourself, then it's very easy to speak
to yourself in a very critical way. It's very easy. You know,
people say things like, oh, I'm so stupid, or you know,
I'm such a fool, and that sort of thing, that negative labeling or
you know, seeing yourself in a negative life light and being self critical.
So you know, those are some of the things that will keep somebody kind
of experiencing law self esteem. You've got core believes that are negative. You
make assumptions that are negative all the time. Something might be happening, but
you just assume that maybe somebody doesn't like you because you don't think you're good
enough. You make negative predictions. If I don't do X, y Z,
nobody's ever going to accept me into their circle, for example. And
you're very self critical, and those are the things that keep low selver steam
going. And then in practice, what does that actually look like. Well,
people with low self esteem, like I said, will be very critical
of themselves, very very critical, criticizing themselves all the time, blaming themselves,
taking responsibility for negative things that perhaps are not responsible for, focusing on
their weaknesses. You know, we all have areas that we're not so stronger.
But when when we've got low selve steam, all we're doing is focusing.
We forget the things that we're good at and we focus on things that
we think that we're not very good at. We are not able to be
assertive, we're not able to kind of express our own our own desires,
our own needs. Sometimes we might be kind of very apologetic while apologizing a
lot, Oh I'm sorry, Oh I'm sorry, and you know, sometimes
it's quite strange, like what are you sorry for? You know? So,
you know, people who have low SELVISTEAM can tend to apologize a lot
when they really don't need to. They can tend to avoid challenges or try
to be perfect in everything. Not this perfect, you know, but people
with low SELVISTEAM would want to do everything to perfection, be perfect, and
be very self critical if they feel that they haven't met very high standards.
They feel self conscious, they want to please people, and they feel like
they don't deserve treats. So something with low selvisteing, For example, if
you compliment them and say, oh, you know, I like your bag,
or I like your dress or I like your hair, instead of just
saying thank you, they might say, oh, you know, I've had
this for a long time, very kind of dismissive or compliments or you know,
think they don't deserve anything good, so feel very uncomfortable with anything positive,
any treats that they might be getting, and they don't think much about
themselves and uh, you know, these are some of the kind of common
characteristics of people with low self esteem. Now, how does it impact on
well being? I think, you know, we we have to understand that
low selvisteam can run very deep, can be very ingrained, and that's why
it's a stronghold low self worth. Seeing yourself in a negative light is really
quite a big stronghold and does have a direct impact on our wellbeing. So
what does it do? It causes anxiety. We talked about anxiety. We've
got talked about worry here and anxiety. It makes people feel on edge all
the time. If you don't think that you're with your you're worth anything,
or you're good enough, or that your failure or your or that you're if
you think you're undeserving or you think you're defective in any way, of course
you're going to be anxious. You're going to have anxiety, You're going to
be on edge because you're going to be thinking all the time. But well,
you know, people are going to see you in a negative way.
You're going to probably go out of your way to do certain things that perhaps
you shouldn't, you don't need to, you shouldn't have to depression. You
can't obviously be joyful or happy if you're very self critical, if you're seeing
yourself in a negative way all the time. And anxiety and depression are known
to have to cause physical health problems, So chest pains, headaches, unexplained
medical conditions. Sometimes we go to the doctor and we say, oh,
you know, I've got this problem. My tummy hurts or my chest hurts,
and you know, I feel this way. I feel that when they
do all sorts of tests and then they find out, well, there's nothing
medically wrong with you. You know. So when we have low self esteem,
we have anxiety, we have depression, we have anger within us,
we have we carry shame or guilt. This this can lead to physical physical
health problems. Also, people some people that have suffered from eating disorder,
anouretsia, bolimia, binge, eating that sort of thing. And ultimately people
people suffer from their relationship with their relationships that have relationships issues which then have
a direct impact on their mental and physical well being. So we've looked at,
you know, the various aspects of self that we've kind of focused on,
you know, self esteem, self self stem, self acceptance, and
then we've gone on to look at look at low sevesting and the impact that
that can have on our on our mental and physical wellbeing. And just pause
here because I know that that's quite a bit of information, and I'll hand
over to Z now. Thanks Alison. Yes, that again so informative.
I didn't I've never really looked at self and broken it down to that sort
of detail. You're talking about self concept and self image and self work,
self confidence, self efficacy, self compassion, self esteem, self acceptance.
That's a lot of self there, and I don't know that I've ever really
broken it down quite like that. And I'm also sort of seeing the correlation.
And I believe you mentioned it before, So is it come moobidity?
Is that the right term for it? Where there are so many dotted lines
into what affects us, and you know one can affect the other, one
thing can affect the other thing, and how low self esteem can sort of
cause depression. Depression can cause low self esteem. So we really are sort
of, as Angel would say, really whole beans. And that's why we
have to take a holistic approach when we're dealing with with whatever issue we're dealing
with and I don't know what what's sort of jumped out at you from what's
been said already. Interesting as you're saying about, you know again looking at
itself in those various aspects, actually all those work hand in hand. They're
really it seems that they're really key. We're talking about holistically, but you
know, all of those things are really important to parts of yourself, and
if those things aren't sort of aligned or imbalance, then actually that's potentially going
to be leading to some of these issues that people will have. And it's
been quite interesting to sort of see how you know, if you don't if
something the different aspects of that are they are, if they're not being what's
the word, if they're not a having of the word now, if they're
not happening for the read words, how that then how that presents itself?
You know what happens for you? And it's que interesting. You know,
sometimes people find it really difficult to accept compliments from each other and you think
something as simple as that. Now I'm not saying because you can't do that,
you have no self esteem, but you're maybe not recognizing how important that
part of yourself really is. You know, sometimes we just don't Again,
we never think of it in those kinds of ways. But actually one of
those errors are quite important. And I was just curious as well. You
know, some of these things you were talking about environment and how things can
feed into shaping your self esteem and hopefully, you know, if the people
are having a sort of a positive aspect, But can some of those things
turn too much of something or almost have a bit of a negative effect anyway,
even if there's a really positive sort of environment that does that cannot work
have a negative kind of connotation too much of a good thing. Yeah,
that's a that's a good question. So you know, sometimes you've got too
much self confident or you know, you think that you're you're just simply too
good at the expense, at the expense of, you know, considering that
the other people you know have positives about them, you know, they being
so engrossed in your own self, you know, that becomes that becomes a
problem. So it's good. Balance is always good. It's good to recognize
what we're good at, what was stronger, where we need kind of areas
of development. But I think one of the things that I didn't kind of
include this kind of denials, because some people kind of having an attitude of
self denial. They don't accept that there are certain things that they actually are
not very good at and other people might be better than them. And when
you've got this sense of you're so kind of into yourself and you think you're
better than everybody in everything, then you're Indian Nile about the fact that actually
you need to be accepting of the fact that there are potentially other areas that
you may not be excellent. But that's okay. So it can be detrimental
because you can alienate people by being too focused on the positives about yourself,
so to speak. Yeah, I think for me as well, I've taken
away and I know we know it. But it's always good to be reminded
that we have to be careful what we tell ourselves. As parents, we've
got to be careful what we tell our children. Again, it's remind us
many, for many, hopefully, but it's good to have those reminders because
we do it all the time. Probably don't even notice that we're doing it.
I'm speaking ill of ourselves or speaking down on ourselves, and that impacts
our self esteem. And as you've rightly said, at the end, our
self esteem can impact so many other aspects of our life. So that's for
me a good and useful reminder. Yeah, let's take a break. I
love this one. It's a mercy general confidence. When we come back,
we'll continue with the conversation. Knowing you're worst you. He's in you.
I'm bout my trusting you, trust in you, Jesus some not alone,
you're with me. You're with me because one with you is majority my confidence.
I'm on Jesus, not alone, you with me. You're with me.
One with you is majority. Looking at you, Jesus. Although it
finish sort of fighter, I'm I trading be good, sir. I held
you. I have everything'm getting unto Jus spottle and finished sort of fighters am
I try to be gonsired. I heard you. I have everything before I
call you the answering you love them at me for wonder wond with you are
not lord of cold? One with you? Is they before God? You
won't So I'm so you know they one the one with you have not a
lord of cover? What with you? Miss Mavis? You see me?
Just stay I'm not You're getting fun with you? Miss the Dovic best not
you get fun with the you miss me okay, you surround me like a
sheep machine and poplar wearing stuff and tip them to my soul. That's why
I am not boring. You're with me. I'm monelold. He has some
carver look in until jag and I'm telling Fanny Shirt than I. I'm my
friends because I I love mean, I haven't my steal stack thy stand stop
eighty, nor your seal with me. One with you is the os speak
pity you. One is the coop love scause. One was the isity Mercy.
Chin were reminding us that one with you, God is majority, and
we are talking about knowing our worth, knowing our worth. And this is
the final installment, I believe for now of the conversations we've been having led
by Alison a Wuku bringing down strongholds. Allison, we were just talking offline
about how fall and deep and rich these discussions are, and you're saying that
you are You're interested in bringing things back to basic, and I think that's
what you've done. High level sometimes goes over our heads, or we get
so caught up in high level that we don't remember the basic building blocks and
so that's kind of what you've been sharing with us. Why don't I hand
it back over to you. Okay, thank you so much, Sania.
Okay, So we're going to look at ways in which, as humans we
normally define who we are. I started off by saying, think about who
are you? How has your past or present experiences, how do they impact
on who you are? And what do you think a critical is. So
let's just look at how generally, you know, as humans, we commonly
kind of define who we are. And this is kind of you know,
in the nineteenth centuary nineteenth twentieth century, there were three great philosophers who I
think most of us have heard of, and you know, they kind of
were really crucial or critical instrumental in defining human human identity. We have cal
Max. Cal Max, who a lot of people would have heard of.
Cal Max he said, money is the principal things, that principal thing that
defines a human So money, money is the defining drive in human nature,
where each one of us is a creature of create, create, creature of
money. And so we need money to kind of engage in the exchange of
goods and services and in order to kind of really define our wealth and who
we are, we need to think about purchasing ability. So that was his
main kind of thinking in terms of like defining us us as humans, which
is quite quite interesting. I know that money is is the focus for a
lot of people, even for us as Christians. And you know a lot
of people kind of determine their level of importance by how much money they have,
how much they can actually purchase, the size of their houses, the
make and models of their cars. Well, I'll leave you to think about
that. What do you think do you think that you know your ability to
purchase is what defines you as a person. We have Nietzsche, Frederick Nietzsche,
and his philosophy or his thinking was that the key thing that defines the
human is the will to power. Okay, so at the core of what
we are as humans is our desire to have power and to control things.
I know that power is another thing we have. You know, we have
power in the world, we have power in the church. We have you
know, people wanting to be powerful in our in our social social groups,
within our various communities. You know, title power how other people see you
is very important to some people. And that was Niches kind of focus.
He's thinking was, well, that's what drives the human being, our ability
ability to power. And we can go and negotiate with other people, with
other nations on how we kind of distribute this power. And you know,
then power becomes such such an important thing. And I know that for many
people out there, you know, if they ask you, you know,
tell me a bit about yourself, they'll start by saying, well, you
know, i'm a manager here or I'm a director there, and that immediately
starts to form an impression on the other person's mind as to how important you
are. So is it money that defines you as a person? Is it
power that defines you as a person. We have yet another great kind of
name out there, and that's Sigmund Freud. And Freud's kind of philosophy was
that sexuality is the key problem of when people don't act or behave correctly,
it's because something is wrong with them sexually. So the behavior of the human
being in sexual matters is often a prototype of how there will behave in all
other issues of life. Now, you know, I know that, you
know, the world of psychology has moved on since the days of Freud.
Freud is known as the father of psycho analysis, and you know, he's
got his place in history as a very great as a great thinker. Sexuality.
There's a lot out there about, you know, sexuality. You know
people that really define some people. People have communities that that belong to depending
on their sexual preferences or sexual orientation. And I guess the question is,
how does that determine who you are? Is that the thing that determines who
you are as a human being? Or if something's not going right in your
life, is it because there's a the problem, there's a problem somewhere in
your sexual developments, because that was Freud's philosophy. So all of these three
things, money, sex power can be quite limiting in terms of the criteria
for defining ourselves. And when that's how we see ourselves. If it's money
is what defines me, power is what defines me, sex is what defines
me, then we potentially can that potentially can become a stronghold. We can
very very quickly start to experience low self low self esteem, because somewhere along
the lines, there will always be somebody with more power, there will always
be somebody with more money, and there will always be somebody for whose sexual
issues is a problem. So you know, if that's the kind of benchmark
that we're using to determine or define ourselves as humans, then we are not
really appreciating who we are fully and we cannot be fully accepting of who we
are and embrace who we are as humans. So then that it starts to
become a stronghold, a stronghold of low self worth. Then we don't really
know our word. And like we said at the start of the program,
Christ said in John eight thirty two, then you will know the truth,
and the truth will set you free. So what's the truth about who we
are? How do we get to know the truth in terms of knowing our
worth, in terms of understanding our wealth. When we are in the stronghold
held in the stronghold of low self worth, low self esteem, we need
to understand what the cause is that's keeping that stronghold alive. Is it money?
Is it? Sex? Is it? Power? Is it because while
viewing our self important and self work through the lens of money, only how
much money we have, how much purchasing power we have? Is it because
we're viewing our self importance through the lens of power, how much power and
authority we have or is it because we're you know, just we reduced ourselves
to just being sexual beings. There is a strong man behind the stronghold,
a dominant negative force that keeps a person captive. What is it in the
case of low self worth? It's really important that we understand that, you
know, money is a good thing. So I'm not sitting here saying,
oh, you know, we should all before we shouldn't have money. God
absolutely wants us to kind of experience his abundant blessings and favor. Abraham was
a rich man, Job was a rich man that many examples of people in
the Bible, Solomon, they had wealth. Okay, So whire not here
saying don't have money. But what we're saying is and we're not saying don't
have power, And we're not saying sex is not a good thing. You
know, God wants us your crisis, all authority and power is given onto
me, and he says, go, Therefore, the kind of power that
we need is the power of God's law. Okay, So that sort of
power should be what drives us, and that's the power God has. He
says, you know, he's able to do exceedingly and abundantly above all we
can imagine according to the power of His love. So power is not a
bad thing necessarily, it's what type of power do we have and where is
it coming from, and what's the motive behind exercising the power that we have.
Sex is not a bad thing God, God is the one who designs,
who created sex. You know, fundamentally, it's one of the most
beautiful things done in the right way, under the right circumstances. So I'm
not saying that you know, don't have sex, so don't identify yourself as
a sexual being. Of course that's coming from God. But what's really really
important to understand is that I am more than my money. I am more
than my power, and I am more than my sexuality. I am a
product of and operate from God's love. As long as God's love is the
center of your money, of how you know, how you kind of manage
your money, as long as God's love is the center of the power that
you have, as long as God's love is the focus of your sexual activity
and how he wants you to conduct yourself in within your sexuality, then you
know that you are more than the money, the power and the sexuality.
You're of God himself, and God is above all of those things. So
all of those things are good as long as that are coming from the place
of God's love and God's will. So what does it mean to know our
true word? Knowing our true work is knowing who we are in Christ.
Because when we are thinking about ourselves just in terms of who we are,
how we perceive ourselves, or how other perceive other people perceive us we are,
we will from time to time be burdened with thoughts and beliefs such as,
well, I can't do this, or I'm not worthy, or I
must be perfect, or nobody loves me, I'm not good enough, I
must not make a mistake. And then we come down heavy on ourselves and
criticize ourselves when we make a mistake or we think we're not good enough,
and we're having all of these thoughts in Christ. When we understand our weorth
in Christ, we understand that we are worth more than all of our self
doubts and that our self esteem is secure when it's based on the opinion of
Christ, of our creator. So knowing our true worth is knowing who we
are in Christ, knowing what the Bible, the word of God says about
us. That's how we bring down the stronghold of low self worth when we
commit ourselves to the truth of what God says about us. I have made
you fearfully and wonderfully. Before I found you in the womb, I knew
you, and I set you apart. I know the plans I have for
your, plans of good to give you hope and the future. And when
we know these truths, then we can kind of conform to them, and
we can rely on them to reflect our true potential. And then if anybody
is telling us things like I don't think you're ever going to make it,
I don't think you're good enough, I don't think we don't have to believe
those lies. We need to fight back those lies or any destructive information with
the truth from God's words. What does God say about me? And using
the right weapons. It means using God's promises. It means using God's words
to fight back the lies that come from the enemy. Really, and Christ,
remember said you will know the truth, and the truth will set you
free. So let's remember that you know we are new in Christ. Second
Corinthians five seventeen says Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, they are a
new creation. The new has come and the old has gone. Our wealth
is not really of the self at all. Rather, it's our web is
given to us by God. We are inestimable. We are of inestimable value
to God, and God has said in efficients to tend that we are his
master piece. He has created us a new in Christ Jesus, so we
can do good works and do the things that He plans for us to do.
So, if the sun sets you free, you will be free.
Indeed, And the will of God is that you see yourself the way that
He sees you, and you see other people in the way that He sees
them. And that way we will understand that our wealth is not just in
the things that people say, in the circumstances around us, or in the
things that we have. Our wealth is in our value as God created us
in his image and in his likeness. And that's the only way we can
really really start to experience abundant life. So the conclusion of the matter is
that all is well in my world. I am grateful, I am enough.
So when we see ourselves as not good enough, when we have low
self worth. Let's remember that that can be a stronghold that holds us down.
And you know we are with more than the most precious stone, more
than diamonds, more than rubies. We are worth more than that. And
let's fight the lies of the enemy, because though we walk in the flesh,
we do not war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our
warfare, and not Canal but Mighty through God, to the pulling down of
strongholds, casting down imaginations and every high thought that exalts itself against the knowledge
of God. And those thoughts that tell you you're not good enough, those
thoughts that tell you you're never going to make it, those thoughts that tell
you your eperial, those are not from God. We need to bring every
thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ. And that concludes this discussion.
Thank you for this presentation, Allison, Alison Angela. I'm going to take
a song break, let that resonate a little bit, and then we'll come
back and unpack what you've just said. All things. Franklin Angela, that
was your selection. What's what's good about this song? What do you like
about it? I took I took it as well as your as one of
your favorites, but it could just be one that suits the okay. And
I think it just kind of he's kind of he starts up and is talking,
and I think it's just kind of, you know, saying, you
know, at the end of the day, what's basically you're talking about reflecting
on the things that you might be going through. So it kind of just
made me think, you know, in terms of some of the areas that
I've been talking about, and it's a bit of a sometimes I have to
sit down and reflect about what's been happening and really then reminding you that actually
some days may not be easy, but there are ways to make it through
and through all things. Through God and Christ, who enables us to strengthen
us, we can make it through. So I think it was you know,
sometimes you're hearing music and some things the words to strike you all the
thoughts, and I think it linked him quite nicely if I remember right least.
So well, let's hear from correctracting all things. Can I talk to
you? I know you've got some questions, what's the hardest thing you're going
through? To stalking by pain? Talking about my life when with a change,
talking about all things. I can do all things, talking about night
something knows a way and my dreams telling me an erase, talking about all
things I said, I can do all things. I understand it, talking
as it always be so good and no one ever let you down, talking
about all things, all the biggin of small things. I'm so sure I
can do all things, talking about dousand my mind. I'm out of funds,
lout of time. I need a blessing. I need you to do
all things. See understand that at all, just in case I'm as never
Yes, talking about all things, all things, they get the sault things.
I can do all things. Now about all things, the small things.
Let's go I can do things. Just because he's silent time doesn't mean
that he's still. He's not only preparing it for you, he's preparing you
for it. Let's go at things things to you. Never blessings on things
for you things, get the things he sees you. Yes, lessings on
you see the black since coming, we had to get your wedding for it.
What are we talking about? What are we talking about? Come on,
say a can't people saying can't you shot? I think it's a possible
kick you can't you my how you talking about gott you shot rap by?
He's a good god. He's a good Come on, he's a good god.
He's a good god. Come oh, And I'm gonna be honest with.
What are you struggling to cope with? Life? Conflict, bereavement,
fear, relationship, anger, depression, negative thoughts, trauma and uncertainty can
all cause emotional imbalance. Don't struggle alone. CCS, your trusted confidential counseling
service is here for you. Call our listening line on zero double three zero
one double three two nine four five, our office line for appointments on zero
two zero double seven two three eight zero five zero, or visit our website
www dot CCS Counseling dot org dot UK. Our counselors speak various languages.
CCS A shoulder e Lenon. We are here to listen. King of our
kids born in a mad the quick story talk he walked on the earth.
A carpenter came to fix my bro and salt Chian sl cake. You paid
little of the cross with blood paint jomlanstere southlass love hay on the tree farming
jup down stretched arms for track fall round to see southless love, hang on
a tree farming the patients dot of creation. Master call to every ja.
He had your whistling Kate to fill. I am so chance walk kid,
you have a dot cost Smith. You're a shabby reason last and we service
loves had shot mo yours so listen was hand shames got here. I that
tack my God. But you, I said, many call my cat,
I say your birthday cancer gets when you made sim it's your escape and your
love. It's you com back cross with blood cup, it's your mast Sai
fun beautifully done there by Ashman Hill, your masterpiece, and just a reminder
that we are confident we are victorious only by God love for us and through
Christ Jesus who died on the cross for us to have victory and life eternal.
We had a very good discussion there, Allison. As always, you
filled us up with information and details sent us out. So Angela, tell
me a little bit about what you've got from that last portion of what Allison
shared with us. I think just to go back just before, where as
I'm talking about the fact that you know, some times the aspects of our
self esteem and the way we think about that can use us a vicious cycle
and everything sort of links around, whether that's the way of our call beliefs,
the behaviors that then stem from that, and then how that kind of
you know, impacts everything that we do. So it is a real vicious
cycle that we really have to try and break. And it's been quite interesting,
so interesting to see those three sort of theorists around things that define yourself,
money, power, and sex, and actually you see that that played
out in sony aspects of life. While those things are important, again,
if you're not getting the balance right, how those things can you know,
potentially be those strongholds could be our downfall as well. But again it is
going back to the idea of knowing what the truth is and that truth will
set you three in in terms of how you're going to be able to turn
around those negative impacts that play into your self esteem and knowing our true worth
and I love I love that sort of there was a sentence there on the
side that you're say, you know, you're more than the money, You're
more than the power, and your sexuality. You know, I'm on a
product that and may operate from God's love and that's ultimately what it is.
You know, without him, all of those things could pay into into comparison.
Really those things very important. But you know, we've got to know
we're talking about knowing the truth and where all of that comes from. And
actually, you know, we're more than and ultimately we're more than all of
these things that become us have become our strongholds and negative thoughts. You know,
if we if our self esteem is secure, it's going to be based
on, you know, the opinion of God rather than man. And you
know, because a text that sage I didn't be conformed to the things of
the world. Sometimes it's very easy to hear all those messages and that gets
clouded by what we know God really thinks about us. You know, I'm
sure if we were to try and counter we'd be able to counteract those negative
thoughts three four, five times over with all the promise and things that God
tells us about ourselves. But it's so easy to be listening to that,
and I kind of sometimes wonder why Sometimes it's so easy to really hear those
negative things, and we can be quite uncomfortable with the positive things that sometimes
are said to us, the things that can kind of boost our self esteem
there's compliments, there's people who are telling you about you know, that you've
done a good job and your achievements. We're really uncomfortable with that, and
I have to wonder why. I mean, maybe it could be from you
know, where it's swimming from somewhere. Maybe you've not grown up in an
environment or you're not being surrounded by that. But we find it really difficult
to tell ourselves those things, you know, much less anybody else hearing it.
But yeah, so that you know, it's very easy to think very
negative of ourself. And I think you know, I always say to it
when I'm talking to my own students. You know, practice some positive self
talk, you know, big yourself up, you know, praise yourself,
give yourself a pat on the shoulder, because if nobody else is doing it,
for you to blind that, but you've got to be able to do
that is up or cheerleader. And again it's about keeping the balance. And
as Allison said before, sometimes if we're not careful, it can go the
other way. You know, this is not about being conceited and you know,
feeling self grandiose and all that kind of stuff, but you know,
it's about keeping it balanced. All around, but again knowing our self worth
then where that's coming from. We're made in God's image. There's something great
about that which is to be able to recognize and accept that, but again
keeping it really balance. And I'm just thinking loads of textbook comingto minds.
Actually that can kind of remind us of all of those things which all sort
of scrolled down. But I guess you know, and I like to also
where you were saying, you know, committing to the truth, conforming to
the truth, confront those negative thoughts and fight back and then you know,
obviously using those the correct tools and the weapon end to really fight against those
you know, relying on God's word and these promises and interesting, I just
have a text as well where there's a couple of text that do you say
that God is our stronghold, going back to that kind of idea that a
stronghold can be there for protection. If we've got the right stronghold, i
e. God, who is for us, he's fighting for us, he's
protecting us, then that's what that's going to be our firm foundation. And
actually that's the real purpose of the stronghold. Then you know, has the
positive effects hopefully on that as well. Yeah, and I can't think of
the text now, I just had it in front of me. But there's
a couple that meant to the word stronghold, but in a really positive light,
which ultimately that's you know, we want to do to counteract with the
negative strongholds are holding us back. And ultimately, you know, when we
think about talking about the promises as well, there are so many that kind
of remind us that, you know, we can overcome. We're more than
conquerors. And in fact, there's one in actually Psalm's eighteen twenty nine interesting
he says, again, this is back to the visual of the war high
walls and the strongholds. You know, with your help, I can at
advance against a troop. With my God, I can scale a wall.
So again, you know, those things don't have to be obstacles that we
can't overcome if we've got God, who's you know, fighting the battle alongside
us or in front of us and behind us and all around us. So
yeah, there's, yeah, there's a lot to be said about how we
can kind of use these words to be to use those weapons, as we
said in the Right what they Yeah, Joshua one nine you know, be
strong and courageous, don't be afraid, you know, do not being discouraged.
For the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go. And
as much as I'm saying this, I recognize that it's not always that easy,
because it's so easy to forget. You know, the battle out there
is real, you know, Satin as a powerful being. You know we're
up against his evil forces twenty four to seven, you know, but you've
got to kind of just hobble on and work at those things, and you
know, have those daily reminders, you know, reset every day, try
and try again, and reach out to people to help you with this as
well. You know, it's not about misleading all by yourself. So yeah,
and Jem's there again for Maris. Then we like that. And again,
you know, I think also I think about things visual. I like
to write things down, will draw things, so you know, the idea
that I can scale the wall, or I can kind of break something down,
or actually I've got that kind of you know, God's righteous right hand
holding me up or holding my hand out, that kind of thing. The
kind of things that you know will help me to kind of reflect on those
things. Those Strongholms. Yeah, and and for me, it's it's that
last part that Allison shared about making sure that all that we are is in
alignment with God and his love for us, you know, putting power under
alignment, putting sex under alignment, putting money under the alignment. It's all
from him, you know, to be used wisely, to be used in
the right context. But we shouldn't make we shouldn't let them take charge,
you know, God putting God first, and all other things will be added
on to us. And we've got to make sure that that's the most important
thing in our lives, our relationship with God and he loves us. And
I like Allison that you you always sort of put that at the end,
that's the final word on it. You know, whatever else we may be
able to do, and we'll talk later about how we can leverage the resources
we know. We've got mind, we've got Samaritans, we've got our own
cornerstone. I mean, you're available, and the experts are available. But
at the end, in the end, the final word comes from God.
We are who He says we are. You know, our confidence must come
from him. He came and died so that we may have life, life
in its fullness, you know, and we must make sure that we keep
that center in our lives. Really really loved that, Allison. Let me
ask you go on, sorry him, WeLive we move than we have our
beings. Alison. Just we spoke of and I want you to bring the
conversation to the forefront. We're talking about what we can do within the churches.
A lot of the talk and a lot of the conversations we have don't
necessarily pinpoint these issues or address these issues. What's your word for maybe the
leaders who are listening. What what's your advice for people who can make these
conversations happen? Where do you? What's what's their place in our church community?
Because I bring back the question that we had, I'm sorry, I
bring back the question that we have at the top. Do we as people
of faith? Do we as Christians struggle? And the answer is yes.
I still haven't heard from any other day And I'm going to say it again.
Studio at adventis Radiat London, h eight hope space and then your message.
But we know that as people of faith, and I put my hand
up, I've struggled with one or all of these at some point in my
life. It's for lack of faith, it's not for loving God. I
mean, we are humans. What place do we have do these conversations have
in the church? Long question? Well, these conversations are crucial, are
crucial. These are things that our everyday life. These are things that are
impacting off somehow. You know, we sometimes have a dual reality where we
have Christian life as one aspect of life and the other life. And you
know, when we turn up in church, it's a different kind of aspect
to our life that we're experiencing. And then outside of church, and I
think that we behold some theological issues as quite abstract and something to be studied.
And I'm not saying that, you know, that's the case is for
everybody. I'm saying sometimes, like we have Bible studies, and after the
Bible studies sometimes you can see straight after the Bible stunces people are arguing with
each other, and you know, there's there's kind of issues. And I
want to say that, you know, these things are all about relationships.
God is about relationships. The Bible is one big book of about relationships,
relating with God and relating with each other, and all of these things that
we've talked about is in the context of relationships. The kind of if we
start at trauma symptoms, anxiety issues, depression issues, they've you know,
relationships played it have played a big role either in causing these issues or we
can play big role in resolving these issues. Everything that we do is really
in the context of relationships. So I think that we need to go back
to basics in our churches and we need to look at what people are experiences
experiencing in life and create the space for some of these conversations to happen.
I know that we've got kind of fixed programs sometimes in church, but I
think that in order to have to kind of leave out the example that Christ
left showed us, I think we do need to create the spaces to have
some of these conversations and to kind of understand each other. We're never going
to have uniformity in the church, but we're going to have understanding. We're
going to have healthy relationship and crisis. By being united, the world will
see and know that we are God's children. So when we come together,
when we can have an understanding, support each other, build each other's wealth,
build because sometimes quite frankly, life knocks us down and we need each
other. And rather than judging, rather than criticizing, we can understand and
build up each other within the church. And you know, when we do
that, it's very easy for other people outside of the child just come in.
So in that way, we're really opening the door for anybody else and
everybody else. And you know, the one thing that we have in common
as human beings is that we all desire a sense of belonging. We each
one of us want to belong And if we open ourselves our doors to everybody
to come in and feel a sense of belonging, doesn't matter what fundamentally their
religious believes are. Just as people, Let's let's have a relationship. Let's
come together, and let's let's try and understand each other and be be patient
with each other. And you know, really look at the example that Christ
showed us in terms of you know, how he lived his life, how
he accommodated people, how he was compassionate to people, how he was listening
to people. It didn't matter who it was, yes, you would always
listen. And I think those basic fundamentals are really really crucial. So relating
effectively within our churches is really important. Yeah, it brings me back and
well, said Alison, it's a thing that I always use. Sometimes we
can be so heavenly minded that we are not earthly good. And you know
Pastorway used to say time and time again on the program, we need to
open our doors twenty four to seven, you know, and if there is
no opportunity within the you know, the structure of the current sort of programming
that we do on a Sabbath morning and a Sabbath afternoon, then there's nothing
wrong with opening the door on a Monday afternoon and having a workshop where we
can discuss these things, or a Tuesday afternoon, you know, whenever it
may be, and just let people know. And as you said, anybody
and everybody can utilize these tools. You know, you don't have to be
a Christian to understand these principles. And obviously we will end with word and
that's a good witnessing tool. But everybody is struggling with one thing or the
other, and we need to be able to make it practical and to make
it applicable to the ordinary person, the everyday person, and using our I
mean, I remember this guy saying to me listen if it was it farn
for the knife crime saying listen, if you've got a space, let me
know. I'm looking for a space. I'm looking for a space to run
programs. I'm looking for a space to do stuff with the young people.
And we've got so many closed up spaces, you know, that we're not
utilizing, and so many programs that we could be putting on just like this
one sort of help and equip our members. So yes, if anyone's listening
that can make those decisions, we really need to act on it. And
Jela, what do you think do you think that people of faith can struggle
with depression or strongholds of any kind the question as you're rolling eyes, obviously,
yeah, we do. I kind of It's interesting that we're talking about
knowing yourself and your self esteem. I think sometimes within Fraid communities, sometimes
the expectations of what are expectations or the perception of what a Christian should be
that and itself can have a real negative impact on your self esteem and worth
because you know, if I'm not spiritually enough or I'm not doing the right
things, you know, I'm not able to pray in the way that somebody
else prays or you know, I'm not able to stand up and share my
faith in the way that I think I should be doing all those kind of
things that in itself and have a negative impact. And if we're not kind
of encouraging people, do you know we talk about company you are, God
is expecting of who we are, and it's a daily war and very development.
But I'm not sure sometimes our communities that as well, they could do.
You know, we're talking about self esteem and self worth, but actually
we have we have these kinds of what's the word, expectations and standards that
we should all be meeting. And whilst we kind of know those you know,
we're human, we're sinners, were shot right, and often sometimes we
can be ostracized, you can be criticized all of those things. You know,
we can be really critical. And I speak for myself. You know
sometimes I know I see things and I hear things, and I find myself
going to those places and I'm thinking, what am I doing? That can't
be the way to do that? Because my question was really going to be,
you know, how can we support other people to develop their self esteem?
You know? And again, you know, people are coming from different
backgrounds, environments, you know, how they've grown up. And obviously,
you know, when we think about how we can share children's minds, you
know, we hopefully they have families that are going to be loving, kind
being able to do that. But as we get older, we're struggling with
stuff. So what practical things I guess I wanted to find, you know,
what can we do to support our friends or our family in practical ways
that can help us build that self esteem, build it further, or build
it back up, because sometimes we've had things that are and that can be
with any community, but you know, sometimes in the fair communities we sometimes
say that a lot. So that'd been my question on there. I think
a lot of the time, a lot of people do not feel seen unheard,
And you know, it's really things as simple as you know, I
know that these days, a lot of us have phones, and a lot
of us spend a lot of time on our phones. And you know,
sometimes if people somebody's talking to you you're on your phone, that person's not
feeling seen or hurt. So you know, really kind of begin demonstrating that
you're actually present with somebody speaks volumes, there's a there's a lot about nonvable
communication that we don't actually take into account our body language when they speak,
uh, you know, the way that we're kind of facial expressions when they're
speaking to us. The attention for those people who are okay with eye contact,
you know, really being the bebbel not the non bbbel knots as well.
So just you know, and if you're not available, just say,
you know, excuse me, can we make some time later on when I've
got this time, because right now I'm a bit distracted that, you know,
Valuing acknowledging that person is really important because I think a lot of the
time were very distracted with some other thing going on. But then also really
listening listening is major, and listening to listening to understand, not listening to
respond, because a lot of time we listen to formulating a response in our
minds as why listening, and the other person can pick that up very quickly.
So really just listening to the other person kind of paraphrasing and reflecting you
know, what they're telling you, making sure that you're kind of actively listening
to the other person, tell that they're important, tells them that what they
feel or what they're thinking or it's it's you're acknowledging what processes they are going
through us valid you're acknowledging them as human. And if if that's something that
they're not used to and it's something that they start to kind of think about,
they start to think, well, okay, I really felt good talking.
I mean, we must all have had the experience where somebody kind of
spoke to us and then said, thank you so much for being there.
Thank you, I really felt better after we spoke. So just really being
they're really being present, really listening, and just also kind of validating,
acknowledging and validating what the other person thinks. We don't have to agree with
what people believe that, you know, we can acknowledge and validate their own
processes, what they're thinking, what they're believing, and you know, then
have a conversation. I think sometimes we're very dismiss if it's subquentcial the subconscious,
we are very kind of like dismissive or judgmental, and we don't really
kind of focus on listening or we sayd oh, what's that person talking about?
But this this person has come from somewhere to arrive at where they are,
so it's the it's the softer things. It's not you know, it's
not you don't have to go out and buy things for people. And what
did Christ do? How many times did Christ go to shopping centers to buy
stuff for people? He was just present, he was paying attention, he
was listening to people. And sometimes we think we have to do things,
we have to show that we're doing this and doing that. I see a
lot of that on social media, and sometimes it's good better ask the question,
who are you doing that for? You doing that for yourself or are
you doing that for the other person. And when people start to feel like
you're not genuine in your your offer of help or support for them, they
don't feel good about themselves. So, you know, make sure that if
you're doing something, or if you're complimenting somebody, make sure that you're very
you're genuine about it. So it's just the simple things again, it's back
to basics. It's being there for people's validating people, respecting other human beings
as God's creation, regardless of who they are, where they come from,
what they do. It's not our business to kind of be judgmental, but
it's what God requires of us. Is to be there and to be supportive
because he knew that that would kind of make people feel worthy and that will
open their minds and allow the Holy Spirit to kind of communicate with them.
So we can pave the way for you know, people to be drawn closer
to God by just respecting, validating, listening, being authentic, being present,
present with them, and being there for them. Love that peacefully,
beautifully. So yeah, you know, our self worth can also helping other
self worth as well, because I think that as well. When we can
be supporting and help, that's good for us as well, you know.
So yeah, definitely. Oh it's been a it's been a really positive end
to our series. I think before we do go, though, I want
to offer Allison the opportunity to share a little bit about what she is doing,
what she will be doing in the upcoming months, and how people can
get in touch Allison. We've been bombarded. Is that a strong word?
I don't know. We've been asked. We've been asked how people can get
in touch, how they can get in touch with you, how can they
leverage your services? So share a little bit about that before we go.
Okay, So the best way to get in touch with me is by email.
Ali I will call at gmail dot com dot com, A L I
A w U ku at jmail dot com. That's the best one. I'm
always checking my email, so if you drop me an email or get back
in touch with you, I'm I'm a psychotherapist. I'm an author. I
write, I work with with various organizations. I do therapy for individuals as
well. I have I have liked, like you said, Jenny, I've
published a couple of books. The first one is Relationships Unique Boundaries of Effectiveness
for Success and Fulfillment, and that's about really our individual relationships, becoming self
aware some of the kind of key components that we need to build ourselves up
to relate better with ourselves and then to relate with other people in social context.
So that's what that book is about. It's got some shots, narratives,
illustrations, reflective points. It's quite a simple, easy read and you
can probably read read all of it in a couple of days or one day,
so it's quite an easy read. And then the most recent book is
Relating for Success, and it's about achieving optimum organizational effectiveness through positive relationships.
And this is really about how we relate within the workplace. And it's got
various models for relationships within the workplace at various levels, within teams and between
organizations, and some of the kind of behaviors in terms of relating behaviors that
people display in the workplace and how you can best work with those behaviors.
Again, it's got some illustrative stories. It's got points for reflections as well,
pertinent questions you can ask yourself. It's got some input from organizediational leaders
as well, who I interviewed as part of the as part of the process.
So it's I think it's quite an interesting read, both books on Amazon.
I am passionate about relationships. All of the things that we talked we've
talked about are connected to relationships. So we are relational beings. My work
is about helping people build their relationship with themselves and reach with each other with
other people around them. So that's that's who I am. That's what I'm
about. But you know, I and most of all, I'm a child
of God. I firmly believe that there is a God who in whom we
leave, we move, and we have our being, and that he's in
control of affairs but that He's given us free will and the power to reason,
and you know, with these gifts we need to we need to reach
our full potential by his grace. And that I am a child of God
and I believe in his power, the power of his love in my life,
and I hope and pray that you know, we all listening experience this,
the power of God's love, because it's the most beautiful thing in the
world. Ay Man, I think that's a very good note in which to
end. Angela, do you want to just close us out with a quick
prayer? And yeah, I think our time is just about spent. Thank
you, Allison, Well, thank you let us pray, Oh my God
on, thank you for this opportunity that we've had to come today to talk
about a really important topic and I really positive one to end our series on
bringing down strongholds. We thank you, Dear Lord, for being an amazing
clod. That some of us may come to you with heavy hearts, burned
by feelings of inadequacy and our own self doubt. We know that You've created
us in your own image, yet we sometimes fail to see that and struct
to see ourselves as such. So we want to ask you now to help
us overcome those negative thoughts and feelings that hold us back and find the confidence
and self worth that we so desperately need need. Remind us of your unending
love and grace, and help us see ourselves as you see us, beautiful,
valuable, and wordliving above thement. Met Help us to let go of
those lies and a negative self talk that hold us back, and to embrace
the truth of your word, which tells us that we are fearfully and wonderfully
made. We ask for your strength to face those challenges that lie ahead and
feel guidance in making decisions that honor you and reflects our true worth. Help
us to surround ourselves with positive influences and to let go of any relationships or
situations that undermine that and bring down our self esteem. Mist of all,
we want to ask for your peace and comfort as we journey through life.
It's not easy to hear God, but remind us that we are never alone,
that you are always with us. You are our biggest cheerleader and can
help us overcome our struggles. I thank you for hearing and answering and nonything
that you're going to do for us. This is my prayer. Amen.
Amen, Amen, Allison, thank you again, and if anyone needs those
details, please to get in touch with us here at the studio and I'll
be happy to pass them on. Allison all the very best with all that
you're doing. May God just enlarge your territory and we look forward to having
you back already sort of booking you, yes, so to join you this
month. Thank you so much, thank you, thank you. Well,
it's good night then from myself Senya, yes, and good night from Angela.
Thank you for joining us today and night. From there we go and
good night, God bless you and see you for a Saturday night praise.
Just after this Adventist Radio London inspiration for the song