Super Hey, what's up everybody. It's Laura Kane after dark. How are
you surviving this heat? It's is this a heat wave? It's hot.
I am hotter than a horror in church eighties nineties. Until next Wednesday.
That's as far as it went, or that's as far as my uh.
You know what happosed to rain this weekend that we were supposed it was.
It was supposed to be thunderstorms, but eighty degrees. But I think that
went away. Oh god, I have all week last week. I think
that I hope so blew over good. That's what I heard one of the
forecasters say. Anyway, when I watched TV on my phone because I don't
have cable anymore, and you know what, I miss it a lot,
really, yes, I actually do, because I don't like having to search
for my shows. I just like them to be there, and I like
knowing that I'm watching it while other people are watching it. It's so expensive.
It's so expensive for literally stupid, having to watch like twenty minutes of
ads every time, you won't watch anything. But I don't watch the news
anymore. I don't watch the local news anymore. I know if there's a
specific show you want to watch, find the streaming service that has it,
Like it's I have literally that easy. I do have all the streaming services.
In fact, I probably am paying as much as I paid in Yeah,
do you really cable? Just get cable again, get rid of all
the stop. The only thing it's probably cheaper to have cable for than a
streaming app is like sports games. But that's literally it. But thank you.
I tuned out at sports Huge Data Sports. This is Eric room of
my co host. That was producer Brian Hi. Producer Brian Who's gonna come
up with his rebuttal to Eric's talent writer that he talked about on Tuesday's podcast
Let's Go Easy on Me. I already said that you didn't have to wear
all white. Look, I don't want any special favors because you guys are
like buddies or whatever. I want this to be honest, and I wanted
to. I want you to look at his point by point and rebut what
you think you need to rebut because there was a lot of demands on that
thing, I I think the only rebuttal you'll have us You don't want to
have to carry me from the at the studio he or taste your food before
you poisonous. See, so you die so he doesn't die. Oh yeah,
because that's my top concern is that someone has poisoned Eric's food. I
really don't. That's why he wants you to taste it. Well, no,
mainly I just want to because see, if you poison me, then
there's no shot because the talent. Yeah. So yeah, you'd be screwed.
A couple of old people trying to figure out a computer, you'd be
you'd be Yeah, this old thing, rickety bag of bones, rickety bag
of bones. We would fumble our way through the podcast would be so pathetic,
awful, Oh my god. If we didn't have Brian, we'd be
so screwed. The only people that would be viewing us where it would be
people in the like Falkland Islands or everything. I don't know. With me,
we would figure out a way that would only be broadcast in the Falkland
exactly only there. Okay, we are having a big, giant party on
August seventeenth. It's getting closer, it's less than a month away. Yes,
I'm so excited. Starting on Monday, we are going to have a
ticket link tickets or twenty dollars to get into into our party. We're having
a party because we've been doing this podcast for four years, just under four
hundred episodes we've put out. Can you believe that? Almost four hundred episodes
episodes of me putting up with your mouth? Yeah, and a view like
slurring your words on a Thursday because you're tired and you're gonna start yawning.
Boom, this is don't anyway. We're talking about a party. We're talking
about at a party, you guys are supposed to be excited and stop it.
It's gonna be an urban bose in a hillcres, the most fun place
on earth, and we're gonna help Drag show. We get we're gonna see
Gigi Glitz glam for form, and we also get to see another performer who
I love very much. He is so good and then our show live little
girl crush on him. I definitely did, because he is one of the
drag queens who also sports a little bit of a beard, and I love
that look. I love the look where they're like, I know, I'm
not covering my little bit of a beard like you would. Yeah, you
would never have put makeup on, No it would take. Okay, how
wait for fifteen hundred dollars, I want to spend an hour putting a full
some makeup on you? Oh? Just here like you just and take you
two most No, for fifteen hundred dollars, you wouldn't do that, not
that much money. Twenty five hundred dollars, No, go out in public
and a full face of makeup. Yes, I would do it where they'd
be like, look at Laura Kane and her ugly girlfriend. Three thousand?
No, what number? What is it? You have to give me a
number. There has to be a number. Ten grand, ten grand grand.
That's ridiculous. You are you are ridiculous, Brian, two hundred and
fifty dollars. Oh brands. See everybody has a price. Yours is a
lower. Okay, find twenty five hundred, fifteen fifteen hundred, fifteen hundred
full face of makeup. I know you don't have fifteen hundred, so I'm
even going to entertain this conversation. Oh I don't even know what I was.
But anyway, our twenty dollars you can't find meet but we will have
the all the ticket information sorted out by Monday. But they're twenty dollars and
they the money raised goes to the lgbtq I A plus housing project, Sunburst
Youth Housing. And I was going to read you a little bit about it,
okay, because I did my research and this is really cool. The
Sunburst Use Housing Project provides safe and supportive housing for San Diego's homeless youth,
including LGBT and HIV positive youth. A major goal of the housing project is
to ensure that these youth have easy access to needed services that will support them
in maintaining stable housing. So that's where this is money is going to.
It's a great cause. It's going to be a great time. If you
are an Instagram subscriber, you get special treatment because we're gonna have a VIP
table setup for you. So a few of our suscribers get access to that.
We'll tell you how and and early access to tickets. Yes, and
you may or may not do a lap dance for them. That's your job.
Now, I would like to talk about our sponsor, Jay Wertzler Capital
Growth Ink, who have been actively managing client retirement assets for decades, thirty
five years to be exact, it's probably thirty six years by now to reduce
volatility and to provide consistent income. That's what you want for the rest of
your life when you retire especially. That's why I'm going to see him soon
August tenth. Oh you have love. Oh my gosh. So what are
you hoping? What are you hoping for? Jay's gonna make me some moolah,
Like he's gonna shake things up a little bit. Yeah, I think
that. I mean, you probably have a fine you probably have some fine
invest investments whatever whatever you have before on one K. I don't know he's
gonna tell Eric that he's too much of a penny pincher. I think money.
I think he's going to tell him to be a little bit more aggressive
with your um investments. How do you feel about that? I don't know
how you feel about that, because that Laura can give me financial advice,
I know. And that's like what a joke, right where she knows in
relationship is just aggressive. You need to be more what's the word aggressive?
Yeah, there you go, Yeah, with your assets more bullish. That's
bullish. Yeah, that's a good one. Yeah. Well, I'm really
happy for you. It's like putting an arsonist in charge of a book of
matches. But Jay is the guy that you want to see. He's made
so much money for all of his clients through the years. He's worked at
Capital Growth Ink this whole time he's been in San Diego. He is awesome.
You're gonna love him. I may drag you along with me and make
him put you on an allowance. What if that would be conservatorship? Yes,
you could be like, we'll make her crazy like Britney. You could
be like the elderly Britney Spears. Spears is already kind of elderly. She
well to you, not to me, isn't she in her late forties?
Late at forties? She just turned forty. Ear Well, her book is
coming out. I know her. It's really coming out now. I've already
pre ordered it. I think I think she's crazy. Oh, it's gonna
be delicious. She said some challenges. Yes, I yes, you can't
just say somebody is like certifiably crazy, got a diagnosis. But I think
her behavior following the end of her conservatorship makes me understand why she was on
a conservatorship. Okay, do you think that maybe being on a conservatorship made
her that way? But what I wouldn't do after that being lifted is go
show everybody why I needed to be on the conservatorship. Well, she it's
called freedom. She was showing that she has actual freedom to do what she
wants to do. Maybe her choices were a little odd. I don't know.
I'm just trying to stick up for Well, I'm gonna make Jay put
you on an an allowance, just I need him to put me on a
budget. But I think I don't qualify for it to be his client.
Well, you need a certain amount of money well to manage, and I
don't really. Well, there's no he'll help you. You can manage forty
dollars. He's giving me some good advice. Actually, are you taking it?
Yeah? He no. I went against it. Oh because I had
something to do with the kids. It had something to do with the kids.
He's like, you know what, don't give your kids money just to
give them money. If they need money, if they ask to borrow money,
then yes, but you your son's twenty three. You shouldn't just like
give him money. He knows you don't have very much. I'm like,
you're right, you're probably you should follow that. Yeah, I know that,
I know that, and just hand out money even if they don't ask
for it. Yeah, because I love them and I want them to be
I just want them to have jobs. I know that, in fact,
they have more stable jobs than you do. So stop giving them money.
But I like doing that. I'd like to spoil that. I would need
ten dollars. What what do you mean for what? I need that hundred?
Oh my god, one hundred dollars right now would change my life.
I mean five dollars now, you're I need to buy I need to buy
more gum. You know. I think I need to bring Jay and we'll
do an intervention for you. Yeah. I would love to have j sitting
right here someday, someday. What is his number? His number? Thank
you for as you called it to make the appointment. Eight five two six
nine six zero. Did you email him? I texted him, but I
will give you the email. Okay, jayw Capitol Growththink dot com. Holy
snap, I know, and you might want to write this down. Okay,
let me get my pen. He has a website, all right,
It's www dot Capitol Growth Think dot com. Okay, thank you, thank
you, Jay, thank you, thank you Jay. Okay, So here's
my house chat what oh oh oh, have you ever done a five k
walk? Or oh yes, I have not a run in a while.
Did you survive it? Did? I'm here? Five kalk is easy.
It's not easy, it's not it's doable. Yes. Anyway, we have
one coming up and it's for a very good cause and it's Scedattle And here
is what it's all about. We want you to mark September ninth, Saturday
on your calendar because we are going to be walking for a great cause.
The seventh annual Schedadle for Research happens at Crown Point at nine pm. I
will be the MC. Opening Ceremonies are at eight thirty eight m. Registered
by August eighteenth to guarantee that you get this year's T shirt. SCAD or
spontaneous coronary artery dissection, is a little known cause of a heart attack.
Most patients are young, healthy and active women who do not have a typical
risk factor of heart disease. SCAT is the number one cause of heart attacks
and women under the age of fifty. This is very important, so go
to our website Lauracane after Dark dot com to register. Everybody gets a metal.
It's going to be so much fun Lurcane after dark dot com. Look
for the link there you go. Remember when you go to the website and
you register for the walk that I will be m seeing and walking with,
you to put Laura five in the little promo code Laura and then the number
five and you'll get five dollars off. Okay, So now my host chat
is something that I didn't know and I want to share it with you.
Guys. You know how many take a picture. We're gonna do this.
We're gonna take pictures and women might be embarrassing for her. You think this
is going to be this segment. It's going to be embarrassing for something.
Well, no, no, this is something that I don't even think you
know. Okay, everything, now let's do this. Ready, what do
you do when we take a picture? Everybody says what okay, ready,
say cheese? Cheese? Okay, you're not supposed to say cheese. You
are not. It says that you are not supposed to say cheese because it
makes your mouth goes sideways towards your ears. It doesn't make your mouth do
what it needs to do to smile properly and look good in photos. So
here are the three words that are better to use than cheese when you're about
to take a picture. Taco number one, Bartholome, youth, taco,
let's taco. Let's do Bartholome. You ready see what happens Bartholom you Okay?
I just point out when people say cheese, their their mouth doesn't actually
keep in the shape that they do and cheese. See it kind of get
they say cheese, and then they smile like they're actually smiled. Well try
it. Let's try these three words and see what works up. Okay,
ready, let's do it. Okay. The first one is one two three,
say money money, Now, that's good, that's stupid. I are
My mouth turned up when I said money, Mine did not. I smiled
a whole lot when I said money. Okay. The other one, okay,
see looking you actually have I've never seen you smile that big. It's
pretty damn good. Okay, Now we're gonna do another one. Ready,
Now the next one is weird and I don't know how this works, but
this is what they say. Ready on the counter. Three, we're gonna
say yoga, yoga, yoga, oh yoga, one two three yoga Oh
no, but I look like a blow up, stop saying it, and
then you smile like I don't think the word is forming your smile. This
is according to specialists, every special scientists, scientists, researchers. Every time
you bring an article, you treat like it's like a new addition to the
Bible. We have one more word, okay, yeah, On the count
of three, we're gonna say, hey, hey, ready, one,
two, three, Hey, oh no, look at you, Oh my
god, those up there so money yoga or hey instead of cheese, and
your pictures will look a lot better yoga. You're welcome. Money seemed to
money. I like, will you send those to me? And I'll post
the most I will, but I'm going to put a little word in for
each one and yes, and then I'll then I'll have to send him a
text in order for him to post. Yes. My job just keeps sitting
bigger and bigger. I'm I'm gonna also need photo approval. I know,
I need you to make me look just to negotiation of your contract. I
want you to wipe my face clean to where it's just the way he filters
his pictures is so bad. It's kind of game. It's so he whitens
and he gets rid of every single wrinkle. What do you mean every single
wrinkle bad? And you literally have two nose holes. It's so true.
It looks like I look like Michael Jackson. I don't know what filter you
use, but it's not good. Oh my god. Anyway, that's my
host, shut I have in the news Celebrity edition after your host real quick.
I don't know if you can complain that much, Laura, because you
just use the real life permanent filter. Oh yes, physician thyself, um,
with your filter that gives you magic hair and your forehead that doesn't move.
Can I read you something that one my my um friend from elementary school
sent me a message recently about my face. Oh my god. Oh no,
isn't good. No, oh it's not good. Oh no. And
this is a friend, yes, I'll call her out. Her name's Colleen,
Colleen Colleen because I had said something about my glasses. I said,
big nose, big face, big glasses, because that's those are the three
things I have, right, And so then she wrote me this, Colleen,
I love you. I've known you since we were five. Marla,
don't ever write me something like she says this. She goes, No,
you are not being real with yourself. You are a fun, loving,
outgoing, beautiful woman. That's nice if I'm being honest. Here we go,
oh boy, oh no, and please don't be mad. All crowd
here it comes. I bet steam was coming out of your I'm like,
this is gonna be good. Back off the fillers. You're you are and
always have been a beautiful human. I love you, but it's too much.
I say this because I've known you forever. You don't need it.
A little goes a long way. You are yourself on the inside, but
not so much on the outside anymore. Ouch. Please don't be mad at
me, you know I tell it like it is, always and forever.
Colleen, Colleen, my best friends at LJOII Cosmetic have done many things to
my face. Now I haven't. I've had botox, Yes, I've had
some fillers. Yes, I've had some fillers on my lips. Yes lately
no, lately this everything is kind of settled in. I think unless I
look like I think you look, you better stay good because Lajoi Cosmetic is
listening. Yes, I wasn't gonna say, I mean, I think you
look great. I've known you for almost well twenty years, so I did.
I had a little filler on my lips. That's still kind of there.
We've known each odo that long. Yeah, dude, and you look
I looked the same. Yeah, that, And that's probably why because I've
had all this stuff done just less wrinkly. Thank you. But um,
I just I didn't write her back. And your boobs are bigger. Well
yeah, and I had those done too. Oh my god, I have
had a lot done. Actually, I don't look anything like I used to.
I'm just gonna say thank god from the neck up you do for the
nick Oh yeah, no, I know I used to have whatever. I
like, you were right. I'm just gonna say, thank god she doesn't
have that much money, because if she does, she looked like with Meg
Ryan. Oh, she'd look like she'd look like the New York socialite like
Jocelyn I was Dolly Parton. I was at Laoi cosmetic Um on Friday because
I was getting a laser treatment done to my lower face. Yes, because
I had picked you up. It tightens up, Yes, yes, it's
tight. It's this laser is. Lasers do a lot of cool things.
And so I was just there getting that done, and I was super happy
and every time I see like a bowl of needles, I get super excited
that I love everything I say. I don't think you should go like any
farther. I agree, And nothing permanent. They never looked that much better.
What do you mean, like face free shapings never looked good. I
don't like nose jobs halftime. Okay, I'm never gonna get a nose jog
because this is my dad's nose and I'm keeping it. Okay, we have
this heater knows this is the heater. Nos, I'll keep it. But
if this starts going sagging, I'm getting the lower face life. If you
get a cobbler, I'm that's gone. I'm gonna think once you mess up
this area like lips and around the mouth, it never it's it's over.
Well, I'm not gonna have surgery around I should be careful. It's a
train wreck after that. In your opinion, I mean, I would say
generally in terms of botched, you know, surgical plastic surgery. Well,
we don't go to a place that would ever watch anything. And you know
what, I think celebrities go to the places. They go to places that
they that people probably give them free stuff. Yeah, they go oh yeah,
go to the expensive some news some don't see. Look at look how
much plastic surgery Joan Rivers had and she died on the operating table and they
were taking pictures of her like and that was a very renowned plastic surgeon in
New York. The issue is more of the surgery, I think then.
But that's that's where people start going too far. As when they get to
a plastic surgeon. I think they're, in my opinion, hacks, because
what plastic surgeon would just keep operating on somebody when they look like a completely
different person, I mean, not one with morals and standards like the ones
like my doctor Reidler. Oh I know you're I mean you're emergency contact and
you're you're primary care. I'm listing her on any paperwork as my primary contact.
Um, all right, do you have a host chat? Because I
have like a little segment after this, what's your host chat? Said?
You were gonna remember it? Yes? What he didn't remember? No?
I what I did? Okay, I was gonna I won't even say what
I was gonna do. What were you going to do? I don't want
to tell you why because I don't want to tell you. Oh you remember
you have something to talk about right now? Yes, then then let's go.
I'm not gonna say it. So, um I think, well,
you know how the saying no good turn goes unpunished. No? Sorry,
okay? Oh boy? Why what happened? Well? Remember on Tuesday when
I got you year vanilla shake? Yes, so I would like you to
pay to have my car cleaned? Um for what reason? When I got
her milk shake? There was no lid on it. Is that my fault?
Yes, poor k there was no lid on it. No, they
had to have the lid with a big, huge hole in it. That's
a shakes. That's dumb, that's that's how can you go back and talk
since she used to work there, I didn't work at that one, go
back and talk to them because that's the dumbest thing I've ever seen. It
was in a holder and it flipped over and your vanilla shake exploded all over
my car. So now it smells like warm milk. It's going to be
disgusting tomorrow. Sorry. I think that is all you. I kind of
agree, thank you, Brian. Yeah, I tend to think that's your
fault. Wrong. I mean, it's not like it's a secret hole in
the top. It's a very obvious straw hole that I couldn't see it with
all the vanilla shake in there. What how does that make sense? It's
a clear okay, so well, no, you know what, you don't
have to pay for it, just out my car. No, thank you.
I am not taking any risk. I appreciate you getting me dinner that
night. That was really nice and the vanilla shake, thank you, But
no sneak preak Laura's rider. It says that she does not do car cleanings
or pay for car clan. Oh, she obviously doesn't do car cleanings.
I know that's apparent. That is very glaringly clear. Okay, do you
guys get in your car the other night though we went to I just got
a detail. You know how much that detail costs me for a second time?
Okay? No, I bought a group on for one. We talked
about this on the air. One fifty more than that. Yeah, so
I walked away. I'm never going to do a group on like that again.
You'll get scammed again. You always get scared, I know I do.
Why somebody's gonna sell you like magic beans? I told that stuff that
I got at the Spring Valley swapped me. That's so. Have I used
it once? No, it's supposed to make me feel amazing and have like
brain power and everything. And now this is a this is a shameless plug
because we have no affiliation with them. But have you ever used that body
product company? It's the body products by a company called Native. Oh yeah,
I love Native. Oh my god. So they have a sale going
on right now on their website. Huh, oh my god. You don't
need any more products. This man has so many products on his counter of
his bathroom. It is not anymore. Not since I moved. It's very
clean. You got rid of all the candles. I got rid of everything.
You don't need any more products. I always use my bath products.
You do because he takes a bath almost every night. Yea, almost every
night. Sometimes it's twice a day, a bath twice a day. A
little decadent. That's a little decadent, it is. But yeah, no,
I like to relax and read a lot of water. You're going.
I have ever dropped a book in the tub? Yes, no, I
have not. You have one of those little shelf knees. Have you ever
dropped your phone? No? God, don't even say that he's going to
drop it the next time. He's at least going to drop a book in
there, for sure, Brittany's book on the Tub. Okay, do you
guys watch the Hallmark Channel? Do you like the Hallmark Channel at Christmas time?
No? Nor do I. I can't stand it, But my daughter
Evan lives for these moves, don't you know. They show them all year
long. They have the Chris the Hallmark Christmas Channel the same exact premise,
Sammy Black one big city girl has to go back to the country to take
care of it. Single mom. Yeah, brings the kids back to the
country to take care of a relative or something. And she doesn't know how
to do anything like shoveling a horseman or and start stuff like that cowman or
whatever. She doesn't know a cowboy. There you go, sexy strong man,
oh boy, and then there then they celebrate Christmas together, and then
she moves there and they get married. It's beautiful. But anyway, the
Hallmark Channel is now doing their first ever Christmas cruise. Oh come, here's
what you get. Taking my headphones off. Now, imagine the people on
this cruise. Oh it includes fur lap. Well, First of all,
it goes from Miami to the Bahamas in November of twenty twenty four. But
here's what you get. Crafts, a world premiere of a new movie,
a tree lighting ceremony, photo ops with the stars, panels with Hallmark Channel
stars, cookie decorating Christmas Caroloke. What the fuck this? Oh my god?
Is this would be like the seventh tier of Hell, ugly sweater content
hell for twelve eight year olds or seventy year olds. I really can't tell
the difference, you know, I don't know the age bracket. But there's
like crafts, but there's also there's wine tastings too. Oh boy, this
is the worst cruise ever. These people are called hallmarkis Oh I know,
my grandmother's a Hallmarks. Oh god, I don't think she'd go on this
cruise, but she's a Your grandmother would probably love this cruise. No,
No, crafts are even a little dumb for her. Really. Yeah,
Oh time you did like a sit down craft with like glue sticks and chair.
Oh god, at work the other day we should go on I use
you should all go on this cruise and dress like the Grinch and just like
knock over the cookie decorating tables and if we get kicked off, that'd be
funny. You know what. Uh, we could go as which I saw
in the Pride parade. Did you know there are Satanists that like that's that
they say they're not Wait, they're in the Pride. They were Everybody's welcome.
So we're the Satanists and we're walking down the parade with the horns,
and the car had horns and everything. Can you imagine if we went as
Satanist to the Hallmark crew kind on Eric's side now with the whole not really
dealing with Pride in the month, that's a yeah whatever. I was just
one little car and maybe like five people, like, let's just five Satanists
far let's just fine, come on, everybody has the you should we and
we should have like t shirts that just say bahum bug yeah, and we'll
be like Santa's not real, like go up to kids and be like Santa's
fake. Oh my god, oh my god. That would be amazing.
I hate how how fast do you think it would be before we got kicked
off? Like the Hallmark channel symbol with like a big red circle with a
line through it, and then we can streak. Oh my god, I'm
in during the craftman. Oh my god, I'm in during the craft Does
anybody want to nit me a doily? Oh my god. I would definitely
film everything that's funny. Oh, this would be great. So the ammies
came out last week the nominations. Do you know three shows on HBO got
seventy four total? Last of Us, House of Dragon. No, I'm
missing a succession, Last of Us? Okay, Succession was that on there?
Succession got the most. Okay, Dragon was the third one. No,
let me think the Oh, the Last of Us was the second.
Okay, come on, guys, Last of Us wasn't that first? Uh
No, it was Succession got the most. I know. Oh, white
Lotus, Yes, white Lotus. Okay, that's ridiculous. Low shouldn't get
any immig Oh no, it was good. It's not that good. It
was great. No, you need what should? Take those headphones off,
put down your mic, take your little phone and your backpack, and get
the hell out of your because not a lot of people in this house.
You do not work. First of all, I don't back back. I
have a briefcase because I'm better than that. White. My ears just fell
off The White Lotus was amazing. What is wrong with you? What thing?
Well? How can you not? Okay, I watched the first episode.
I was so bored the entire time. You have to get out a
little bit. I wasn't even interested in the premise, the characters, or
literally anything. I hate you. That's fine. I don't even think we
have anything in common anymore. Problem. I don't think I can work with
you when youbody hate it with mom and dad, Good luck with you.
I'm gonna damn your mom. My mom doesn't even know what White Lotus is.
She don't care. I think she watches is Outlander. She watched My
mom loves Outlander two yea, not yellow Stone but nineteen eighty four, whatever
the whatever? Yeah, okay, all right, okay, I'm sorry,
I'm not you know, I'm gonna have to put this at my write or
two that you two aren't allowed to fight. Yellow Jacket's got a bunch.
Oh yeah, you never even finished watching the seconds. I didn't know because
I don't have showtime. Better call Saul House a dragon and or oh that's
a that's a Star Wars show on Disney. Plus that was a very good
show. The Crown. Yeah, Abbott Elementary. Do we like that?
Do we do we know? Abbott Elementary? Have we tried that? Okay?
By watched an episode? I don't know. Oh, Barry Bill Hayter,
Yeah, yeah, have you ever tried it? Watch it? I
started watching The Bear The Bear? Have you I just started watching it.
It's like intense. It's about a chef anyway jury duh. Yeah, I
love Yeah, that show is so endearing. I love it is the best
best, The Marvelous Miss Maisel only murders in the building. Actually a really
cute show, so I heard. Yeah, I started watching and I was
like, naph Yeah, that's why, because it's cute. Ted Lasso and
Wednesday also got a big day. Yeah. Here are the celebrities who have
attended Taylor Swift's tour Arrows Tour so far Aris Aris Tour. Marla's going like
three days in a row. She how much money is that? It's a
lot? What's her cheapest ticket? Three? Oh my god, I don't
who knows. She's She's gonna be my different girlfriends? Yeah? Are she
gonna go with her boys? No? One of the boys is going.
Yeah, but then she's going with other friends. I want to be one
of her friends for the third show. Oh my god, I really want
to see that show. Really is all right? So this is who has
seen it so far? Okay, Emma Stone, Selena Gomez, Emma Watson,
A dude from Black Sabbath took his grandkids. His name is Geezer Butler,
Ethan Hawk, Billy, Joel Reese, Witherspoon, Blake Lively, Lena
Dunham, Jennifer Lawrence, Nicole Kidman, Keith Urban, Sean Mendes, Camilica
BeO, Aaron Rodgers, Miles Teller, Paul Red, Drew Barrymore, Bradley
Cooper, Flavor, Flav David Harbor, Millie, Bobby Brown, and U.
It goes on and on and on and on. What do you think
this thing is going to rake in a billion? No, it's on its
way too. Concerts are not that profitable, the story says, Okay,
it is on track to rake in more than one billion, which would set
a new record. Concerts are not that profitable. Do you know how much
Elton John's tour brought in? It was a ton? Why do you but
do you know? Why do you know why? T shirts? Merchant concerts
are like four times in world prices because they make almost nothing off ticket prices.
Well, they have to pay out so many people. I don't know,
but yeah, the merch is what gets them of the money. Eighty
seven million dollars, so that's almost a billions. Not a tailor Swift fan
either, My God, would you go if you were invited? I would?
Yeah. I think her talent is impressive. I think she never misses.
She is talented. I just like Lily, cannot stand her genre of
music. I just there's nothing appealing about it to me. I think she's
definitely a show person, and I do like the fact that she's very,
very sweet to her fans. Her swifties, well, no, her last
boyfriend was kind of a I love the nineteen seventy five Yeah, but the
lead singer said some mean things to the fans. And how many can you
google and see how many boyfriends Taylor Swift has had. Boy I'm gonna say
it's probably about twenty, because she goes through them like she's never had a
repeat where they've broken up and got back together. It's she was with that
one dude for a long time, but as soon as something she's had twelve
oh wow, and she's thirty off. Yes, well, I don't know
if we will recognize all of them. Um. Joe Jonas July two thousand
and eight, talked to her two thousand and eight short one Lucas till March
nine, April two thousand and nine. Wow, these some of these are
really short. Um Taylor Lautner, Oh yeah, also like five months from
Twilight. Um John Mayer, Oh my god. Three that was literally two
months. Cory month Monteeth, Oh my god, very poor dead kid.
Corey Monty. Oh I didn't know he went out with her. That was
only a couple of months as well. Wow, Jake for like four months?
Sounds like a Redmaine for yeah, a couple of months. She's she's
never been a relationship longer than a couple months. Zac Efron that was for
one month. Oh wow. Uh. Connor Kennedy that was from July to
October. Okay, I remember the Kennedy. So that was like five what
my five months? Four months? Calvin Harris that was almost oh year.
Oh wait, that was over a year. Um. Tom Hilston for a
couple of months. That's that's all. I don't think she I think she's
You gotta think she probably started dating when she was about sixteen and she's thirty,
so she's literally had like a relationship every year, I mean almost.
And when you're when your relationships are that short, yeah, there's got to
be a problem. But I mean you have to be really incompatible with that
person's relationship to be there, because it can't always be the other person when
you've gone through that many I'm sure she's dated some jerks. I'm sure Jake
Jillen Hall is not a fun person today. I'm sure Zach everyone's community.
I disagree. I love you. Don't think you think he's like grumpier.
I think he'd be very intense, Yeah, yeah, and I do love
too. I like him. I think he would be funny. He's intense
and delightful and like a jokester. Yeah. Maybe Regardless, though I agree,
she's also got to be very difficult. Yeah, and I don't care
for well. At least you know you'd get a song written about you.
All right, we have two things to discuss. Yes, I think I'm
gonna do the hacks. I have some hacks here that I think you can
use in your everyday life that will help you. Do you like hats?
I do all right, this one. You'll like there's one on here that
I am like, really excited about, obsessed with. Now these are food
hacks. Number one, use a baby monitor to keep an eye on the
temperature of a smoker. If you use a smoker to smoke a turkey,
I guess that's a really delicate operation. At sometimes use a baby monitor to
keep an eye on it. Now here we go, eat a heart.
Okay, have you obviously you've had taco bell tacos, hard shelled tacos,
right, no, yeah, and it gets all over the place, I
mean half the step eating them. Yeah. You. We will have a
contest. We will have a taco eating contest. When you have to bring
Erica's dinner, bring me some taco about because there's no way that doesn't make
a mess. But if you eat a hard taco over a soft tortilla shell,
or maybe over a tortilla, all the stuff that falls out of the
hard shelled taco, you make another taco. Shut up. I'm sorry.
That is not dumb, thank you, that's so dumb. Okay. Mathematically,
one eighteen inch pizza has more pizza than two twelve inch pop pies,
So order the eighteen inch. That's great. Not good for easy to eat
s'mores. Try making them in ice cream cones. That's so dumb. The
whole point is Graham Cracker, It's name the same material. And this one
is obvious. But if you don't have a cake dome and you're making like
a bunt cake, use a tupo where a container upside down? Great?
Would you be the right size? Yeah? Which one was changing your life?
The taco one? Oh my god, because I have problems eating tacos.
This sounds good too. Use a Ramen packet for popcorn seasoning. Just
mix the powder with some melt butter and maybe some chili powder. Do I
have you yet? And then you spread it on the popcorn. No?
Uh not, not at all appealing. I will say, I'm not really
much of a popcorn person. I love, I do like popcorn, but
if I'm going to you, I'm not gonna get any. Do you like
ramen? I do like ramen? Huh? I okay? So I had
Ramen the other night with a friend. I have never in my life been
as full from a meal than I was with Ramen. It's because of all
the sodium. Minute what is is it? The noodles. It was delicious,
bro Nori. No, it's Chris, Yeah, it's no, it's
it's really good. If you want real ramen, you have to go to
the Convoy. This is real ramen. It's real ramen. I didn't realize.
Help filling it. Go to Rocky Rocky Cony. Oh yeah, Rocky
Rocky. Is that place so good? Rocky Rocky is. We'll go there.
It is delicious good. Yeah. Why is it that you? I
did because it has a lot sodium minute, I don't think that's the reason.
Well, also there's a lot of um those is it the noodles expanding
in your stomach? No, no, that's what my daughter told me.
No. I couldn't even move or talk to anybody. I was so also
have a lot of protein. Depending on what type you get, you couldn't
over talk to anybody. That's me on a Monday. When I get here,
my guy's gonna get even worse this weekend writer gets into place. Oh
and I do this too. Do you guys ever mix cereals to get like
that's what you're weird? I always have two kinds of cereals in my cereal
bowl. Always, always. My most recent mix was um frosted many wheats
with captain crunch. Gross, it was delicious. That sounds absolutely just.
I don't want to hear any more about that Captain crunch and lucky charms.
I've done that too. I've also done cocoa crispies and cocoa puffs together.
Not that is good. Sound like an eight year old? I know,
I eat like an eight year old. You put chocolate milk and said regular
milk too. No, I use the oat milk or whatever because I'm healthy,
because I'm so happy. I'm not healthy and oat milk into your mixed
cereal. It's not even like cheerios or something. Cereal is. It's all
the stuff that my parents wouldn't buy me when I was growing up. Still
living out your childhood fantasies. Totally totally steam or vegetables while cooking pasta noodles
by placing a cookie cooling rack over the pot of boiling spaghetti and ghetto,
adding a veggie on it that is so good, and then putting the lid
over the tops of the steam over the pasta. I don't even think that
would work. I don't think I would be hot enough. And then I
brought it up on Tuesday. Use a couzi for your ice cream pint to
keep it nice and cold when you're eating it from TV late at night.
Let me let me borrow that couzy. I'm gonna try it. Where did
I put the couzy? Oh? Here it is. I can't imagine an
ice cream pint. They will fit in there so many the bottom, the
bottom well, yeah, absolutely, the bottom part. Yes, I don't
think it will. Are you gonna take it home and tried it? Or
do you? Right? All right? It barely fits beer cans. This
will be tied around a dot. This will be the only rainbow thing I
have in my out. It might not work. That's homophobic. And here's
here is a dumb TikTok hack. If you want to get more tan,
If you do that, what we're gonna come back tomorrow. You're gonna be
like burnt looking poor beer all over yourself to give yourself a better tan.
There's apparently some half baked science to it, because hops can promote the production
of melanine. Ok, I think the Yeah, I would be careful to
try that. Experts say don't do it, obviously, because it doesn't have
any really sunscreen, but really, you know what, Kane, I'll do
that at Pride next year when I don't go, oh my god, look
like an orange yeah, oh my god, oh my god. All right,
then fine, then do you want to do Okay, all right,
we're gonna end with this one final thing. Please are they These turn ons
are turnoffs. Turnoffs, and be honest. Don't say turn off just to
be funny or to think you're being cool. I want honesty. I am
cool. Shoot tattoos cool? Um, I have to say. I used
to say no, but I think depending on how they're done cool. I
think it depends. Also, even I do like tattoos, I don't know
if they're turned on though, well seventy seven percent that they are. Yeah,
I'm getting more and more. Um, I like it when a guy
has a lot of tattoos. I wouldn't say that that. I wouldn't look
at a at a person and say, oh my god, you're so hot
because you have tattoos. I would look at his face and go, you
are so hot, and then I'd look at his arms, Oh, he's
got tattoos too. Plus that's a plus for me. It also depends on
the tattoo. Though. Now, when someone you're dating responds to a text
immediately, mm, turn on or turn off? Like fast? I don't
like it needs to be a minuta or too well. No, I so
I have had people text me and I respond right back because I'm literally looking
at my phone. Yeah, so is it somebody that you just started dating
that you want to be cool? You kind of got to be cool.
I agree, it needs to sit for two minutes. Is my sweet spot
like two minutes on the dock? Yeah, I mean I mean pretty quick.
Yeah, you know. But yeah, if it's something where I'm literally
looking or I've there's been a you have to factor in a couple of things
that there's an exchange going on and you're waiting to hear an answer or whatever.
I'm not going to sit there and do like this when you're first started
to date somebody, when you're first starting Oh, when you're first starting to
date. Yeah, is it a turn on or turn off? If they
respond immediately, I wouldn't say it was a turn off. Yeah, I
wouldn't say it was a turn on. It's a text when somebody's really funny.
Turn on? Turn on? People said on when somebody's super talkative.
Depends, depends six it's actually a turn on. I lean towards that a
little bit, but it depends. When somebody is overly confident or cocky.
Because somebody that's confident, that's a turn on. Cocky, No, yeah,
turn off true, overly confident confident, that's cocky. Yeah, that
would turn on. No loud talking or turn off turn off. Yeah.
When somebody gets jealous easily off, really that doesn't make you think, oh,
she must just really love me, So that's a turn on. Yeah.
Jealousy is no boy, no, it's it's I'm not a jealous person.
Normally I'm not either, but I think also you have to factor in,
you know, if well, I guess, if you're in a relationship
with somebody and they're flirting with somebody else or whatever, I think I would.
I'm not normally a person, but I'd be like, if I was
in an exclusive relationship, I'd be like, the hell, well there,
But there are also there's boundaries and then there's just jealousy. I think.
Yeah, I think having boundaries is good, but I mean, um,
if like, if you're being like toxic just because you're jealous and you.
Oh yeah, have no good sense of boundaries. Everything just if you know,
makes you jealous and yeah, that's that's no good. Like I would
never like if the person I was seeing or whatever said I'm going to go
out with friends. I wouldn't be like, well, where are you going?
Who are you going? Who's going to be there? Like that would
like that. A lot of people are like that. I no way.
Well that's it. You guys, we're done. We are done. Done,
you've ever done? Do you have anything else? Do you have a
statement to make? Do you have anybody you want to shout out to?
What's your what big segment do you have that we forgot, mister talent.
We've done to help. We've got a good long podcast. Yet we've gotta
on ourselves a good long poll. Can you oh my god? Well what
time is it yet? Oh? You know what? Until time is over?
Did we go over? We went over? So I need to get
your hotel rooms please, I'm very tired. I love your podcast. By
no right, okay, okay, thank you Jay, thank you so much.
Get out of come to our party August seventeenth, Um what else?
Love you so much? We're unfiltered unapologetically so yep and we are lower cane
after Dark. Love your podcasts. Love your podcast Can you call? Can
you call the hyatte Yes I will. I love you, my s.