You're listening to the Downbeat on ninety seven to one, the freak all right,
Downbeat nine thirty six spin Skin, Christina Steve being here here in fifteen
twenty minutes or so. Matti's been helping us out today. It's Danny Kevy,
Mikey. It's a downbeat man. We fun so play of Masters all
last week and then today Augusta, Georgia. By the way, if you're
wondering, two hundred and sixty eight miles from the Atlantic Ocean, the deadly
Atlantic Ocean. So Masters end yesterday, and what happens I think late Friday
is they have a lottery for media members and I think it's two groups,
so I don't know. Two groups get to today play Augusta National. Two
groups of media members. They all get thrown at anyone as credentials. Their
names get tossed in there. And right now seven minutes ago, which would
be ten thirty am, Augusta, Georgia. Time they get to enter the
grounds, they have a little car that says, you know, Augusta welcomes
this person. Arrival is ten thirty to you office, eleven thirty. Show
this card to get on the grounds, because you know once you leave last
night, we'll see later. Don't come back, and they get to drive
down Magnolia Lane. So I read a big article this Golf Digest guy who's
like, I have the shanks. I won the lottery. I'm freaking out.
And that's all fun and good. But far more interesting is a young
lady named Julia Westerman. She is a South Carolina sports reporter. She won
the lottery. She is a media member. She gets to play Augusta National
today. How many get chosen? I don't know. I think it's I
think eight. I think it's two foursomes. I really don't know. She
is playing Augusta National in fifty minutes and this will be her first ever round
of golf. Oh boy, here comes that nine hundred. Yeah, she
gonna be there all day. How amazing is that? Three guys she's playing
with are going to be so frustrated. Okay, pig it up, Julie,
pick it up, take it take a nine. Can you imagine?
I guess they don't know. They don't take your handicaps when you have a
media credential or enter your name into the lottery. Her first ever round of
golf is at the Masters at the freaking just to the day after tournament conditions.
Yeah, just fast, everything fast because they thought they were gonna get
a lot of rain light. Yeah, oh my god, she's gonna shoot
a one thousand. Well, you're gonna have pro caddies, you know,
keeping on everything as far as etiquette and tearing up of course or anything.
And pro caddies are also good at keeping things moving. Okay, just tow
it. You'll just thw it on this one. No, I think they'll
let her play the part three play. The part three is you can put
on every green. Let's have some fun up here putting. Yeah, yeah,
try this one. But what if the guys in her forest and are
like super serious, go what if it was like you and him and make
Corby and then me, well we spee playing Augusta and you're like so jacked
and and trying to think about it and look at the nuance, look at
the curvature of the green and say one hundred fat, look at the topography
is so beautiful. And meanwhile I'm over there just hunking clubs into the drink.
You know what, why getting the lottery if you've never played before?
Why, No, you're taking someone else's spot. Well, that's a talk.
Should she have given her spot up to someone Yes? No, she
has every right to be out there just like anybody else. She's not playing
her ball from the tee to the hole like they're gonna speed her along.
And I'll tell you, you'd be far worse playing Steven's Park with someone who's
never played it than Augusta. Like I'd be okay because I'd still be wigging
out that I'm playing Augusta, enjoying every second of it. And frankly,
I don't mind if this is a five and a half hour round. Yeah,
that's the round you want to past forever. If she was if they
were keeping her score, she had to play legit. How long would it
take her to play eight time a whole week? No, no, no,
I'm being seriously again. The caddy is the key, because the caddy
would keep you moving. I I don't know, six hours. Maybe you
wouldn't get it done in twenty four hours, Yes, yeah you would.
She doesn't know the ball is gonna go. She's never played before. Can
you walk the course in twenty four hours, then you can play against in
twenty four hours? Yeah, you can walk the course in five or six
hours. Bye, and all you do is just okay, there's the third
stroke, and just keep tapping the ball as you walk. They don't know
where it's going. How are they gonna get out of the park. There
are places where you can't get it over the water. No, yeah,
I'm not kidding if that okay? So there aren't I don't think there's ladies
teas. There's just the master te's and the member tees. So I assume
they're playing the member tees and that would include women, right. I don't
know if they have a further option or whatever. Rice was the first woman
ever even allowed, and that was just like nine years ago. So yeah,
te bug, all right, they got to put it over the bridge?
Well, honestly would could she break five hundred? No, she's never
played before. If you didn't, Kevin's getting mad the idea she couldn't get
over the water. Yeah, she would have to put it over the bridge
on twelve for instance, going into the bunker, getting out of that bunker.
Yeah, over five hundred. No, she just takes a putter and
starts at the tee and just starts tapping it. You tap it twenty feet
that'd be a five hundred. Still, Okay, that's the strategy that it
would take that early. Hey, that's fine, but it would take her
less than twenty four hours. Yes, she would play, Yes, I
think six seven hours, as long as it takes you to walk that turning
Augusta into croquet. Yes, you croquet your way to success. Hey,
it worked for me, worked for Danny. Guys. Are they allowed to
bring phones out to these things a media day? No cell phones there?
Right, No, but that's for the tournament. It's not like no cell
phones are allowed on property. Probably just landline. They do have lamdlines,
I know. Yeah, that's awesome. And then you remember I don't know
anyone's phone number, and you end up calling the newspaper company from when you
were a kid. That's going jingle you can remember, or radio station.
I did call the Miami Herald from the twelve tea bucks. Well, anyway,
good luck, Julio Westerman. Your first round of golf teas off in
about forty five minutes. She's gonna have such a bad round national. I
will listen to her news report though, we'll try to find it. Absolutely,
Yeah, for sure, we get on the show. Yeah, yeah,
Maddie, we cricket my audio here. Yeah. Verne Lunk was called
his final Masters yesterday. Been calling sixteen and seventeen for many years. Why's
he hanging it up? He's still good. He's still good. You know,
voice is good. His voice is good. Yeah, who knows?
But the rest I was probably just tired of spinning out the battle their wedding
anniversary there every year. The one Masters I went to, I it was
Sunday. It was Speaks Sunday twenty fifteen, so I was near sixteen when
he played through. And right after the final group went through, I watched
a gigantic vern lund Quist kind of waddle down from his position, get into
a golf cart and like a salmon going upstream, full speed golf cart like
through the patrons, getting the f off property, getting out, Yes,
beat the traffic ut right when he was done with the sixteenth hall, and
he was just gigan. He's very it's like a cartoon man. He's a
less monopoly man for sure, but he's very large and kind of wrinkled,
and he's just too intense steaming through human traffic. Is driving this golf cart
just to get him to wherever the hell his car is and get me out
of here before the chaos. Well, big send off. The video they
they made for him, it's days like four minutes online and watch that and
you tear up. We me it's great. But then this so how it
goes away, and Nancy of course is going to be very very quiet,
and he's really going for the big moment here and then here's Vern choked up
at the end. Meanwhile the CBS audio guys like, shrew your send off.
Old Man Verne wrote a book back in twenty eighteen called Play by Play,
and the last line in the book deb roe ern, I want to
apply it to you. You said, thanks to borrow a phrase. Thanks
for the memories. Your voice has been a beautiful instrument. Thank you for
a wonderful soundtrack for all of our lives. Thank you so much. Jim
My honor by available on more. Look did he say it's been my honor
by Felicia And they did? No, he did, I too. I'm
like, that sounds like a bye Felicia. I think you hear stomach growld.
Okay, that's a weird growl. He said, my honor, my
privilege. Maybe Griggs was playing a set crimes and rhymes lives, thank you
so much him Okay, roaring stomach ground part my honor that fret later.
They should have Yeah, they should have had a camera on him. They
didn't. They're just showing chef were walking down the fairway. They should have
had a camera on Verne. It would have been would all the trouble to
make video tributes for him all week they jumped to a Mercedes bend spot.
Now, the meme that's going don draper. The meme that's taken over is
when Tiger passed seventeen, Tiger shook Verne's hand, but in the photo taken
all you see is a hand coming out of a tree. And that's the
new meme. Is Tiger's shaking a white hand coming out of a tree.
Like that's was like a person caption captions are beautiful. Oh my god,
when the edible kicks in shook hands with a tree, Oh so good.
I love it all, and you know it was great. Not many love
it as much as me and Kevin, right, but golf needs to chill.
It's all too much, yes, especially the master the masters, and
so it's like you painted a water color for us all a relax. Yes,
and they'd run these promos, especially early in the week, and then
they show these beauty shots. Yes, and it does get me, but
they're like as the sunlight dances through the trees, like just chill, we're
golfing's fun, timeless, Well, this is what we need. Yeah,
you know, it is just golf and I love it, but it's not
dancing through the flickering leaves. One day, I would like to let's just
do an alternate Masters broadcast, you know. Fun. Yeah, you think
they'd be okay with that after they bagged Gary McCord for like two zings again,
you know, but you were cussing, Oh, look the crap of
that. That sucks. Uh guys, fourteen what Kevin? We get it
in one there's only gotten one in one ever? Twenty fourteen. Doom that's
every song ever a da doom, boom, dag dom don't dan danm do?
Oh? Is that shots? That the shots song? That's too slow?
We guess that last time that Christmas in Hollis. That's a lot of
songs that's not a this is tailor, this is it? It is?
Yes, I got you got pumbled by a tide And for the used to
mess with those skinny boys. Now I'm getting hammered by a real chief.
Get ready for eighty seven? And me don't what we all got to that
last year? What rhymes with chief? What rhymes with chief? There having
beef? Yeah, beef, belief, giant beef. We could have cleaned
it up and gone away. I don't know what you guys are looking at
me? Weird forlief? It's quef let's face. Ah, there he is
about your ratings? Here, God, all this golf talk, it is
time for your weekend bass shouldn't report. The boys went out on Lake jess
Bro this weekend and ended up hooking up with a nine pound channel cat.
That's right, channel cat decided to take a bite out of a wacky rigged
sinko. Either way, the boys fought hard, got her on the boat.
Great weekend of fishing. There we go. Here's fishing props. I
can't argue that would rather watch bass fishing than the masters. Fine, it's
fine, miss. Is this just who's the Tiger Woods of bass fishing?
You know? It's like we would wheel dance, or it's the guy from
Oh Crappy, King Crappy. We would know mister crappy, mister crappy,
maybe we can dig that up. Did you ever hear that? It's pretty
magical? He gets real excited when he catches the mass, let's just say.
And those sound effects can be used for And the best thing fish you
ever had going for it was the Waits and Fish scam. Yeah, I
mean, so you know they could use a Tiger Woods type figure. This
is Lee Habib, host of our American Stories. Do you know how the
orcs first came into being? They were elves once taken by the dark forces,
tortured and mutilated. Find out more about these ruined and terrible forms of
life next week on our American Story. Pretty good on every spot, break
pretty much pretty much. The search is on America's premiere morning show. Is
in need of a punching bag as their favorite hateable idiot boards a metal tube
and heads towards almost certain death in the Atlantic. Enjoy being kicked in the
nuts. Come and apply for the Downbeats punching bag. Also, there is
more do your job well and Ben and Skin will kick in the nuts from
ten to two as well. All right, that is not open until tomorrow
at like midnight. Yeah, and the mister Crappy sex tape is two and
a half minutes long. So tomorrow six am. How about Wednesday? Yeah,
he's played a few times Wednesday. I'm of two minds about whether I
want Dingu to write more songs. On the one hand, you are amazingly
good at it. On the other hand, that damn golf song was stuck
in my head all weekend. I will point out one thing notably absent from
your list of golfers, Scottie Shuffler. Thanks boys, true you send me
out with the nanny golf song today. Working a little, you know,
more random, trying to if he wins the PGA and rattles off two straight
majors, he gets his own song. That's fine, okay, Scott He's
gonna win a slam, Scotty, He's gonna win the Slam. He's slamming.
He's gonna win the Grands, the Natural Slim, the Natural Slam.
Yeah, he gets kind of the Super Slam if you had the players Super
Slam for sure. Holy it's on at streak for May sixteenth through nineteenth.
We're a month and a day away, Yeah, thirty two days away.
Valhalla, Louisville can do. Let's get it. If you get the first
pick in the draft, who are you choosing? Picking Steft? Absolutely?
How the next month ago? Well, not playing until now. He's got
some commitments. He's in the field for next week, playing this week.
Right, he might lack it or not. That baby's coming, but he's
still got time. Get two weeks. We'll do there. Like the baby's
coming. It's twenty days. Hey, milk, milk ain't coming out of
his nipples. I agree, better bring home the bread, homie. You
know, during dinner last night, after taking a big bite of my spaghetti,
I said, Moura call Wall and my wife's like, would you stop
that. You've been saying that all day, to which ivers ponk Moura call
who. So I'd like to thank you for giving me a new way to
annoy my wife. I think it's brought us closer together. I doubt it.
I highly doubt it, as he's taking a bt a spaghetti. It
is a bad recipe for that song which kills us all. And then him
being on the Master's leader board, the one that everyone watches. Yeahura and
yeah dude, I had my kids saying Mari Cowa had him saying John Ram,
John Ram, and then he really didn't pick up on the Max Holmer
birdied on three. I was singing that. That's what I was singing all
day. Yeah, every time I saw his name, Max Holm, a
birdied on three? Was it Friday that he did? Go? Dang,
he did birdie number three? And Danny took a screenshot of the score it
with a circle and an arrow birdied on three. Hey, oh no,
Hey, I'm Malcolm Verne, executor of O. J. Simpson's estate,
because I know you were disappointed to hear that OJ will not be donating his
body to science. I did suggest that he do so when he was alive,
but he told me that if I ever suggested charity to him again,
he'd cut me open and use my skin to make a shower curtain. He
often instead to be cremated and have his ashes scattered in the Atlantic Ocean so
that his ghost could lie in wait and stab and surviving members of Atlantic plane
crashes. Good lord, Kevin, Kevin, now you got another Do an't
worry about the ghost of OJ Simpson? Adam to the list that gets you?
Hey, Twitter, world, Oh, I just want to thank the
downbeat and especially Daddy for Rooney my master's watching experience. Every time I saw
Colin maur Cowa on the screen on the leaderboard a day mentioned anywhere, all
I thought it was that stupid song moura cow whoa moura Cowha? Thanks a
lot? Hell yeah, I love like real anger in his voice sense it.
Yeah, thanks a lot. I enjoyed the thought of it's Friday night.
Christina says to Mike, what do you want to eat tonight, honey,
and Mike screams, just ground beef, he beef. So I haven't
heard who's filling in for Cavio while he's out, But my thought would be
to put TC on the speakeasy and bring on down. Ju Julie cusses when
she's on in the morning, these guys, he's loopy. I don't know
if we can trust her. Hey, Kevin, my brother and sister Laura
are flying back from Italy tomorrow. Please don't crash into their plane. Oh
Kevin, we just send you out with this. We'll have the segments up
in a few minutes or in the next hour. Back tomorrow morning, six
am. Been and Skin shows next speakeasy after that, Happy Masters, Everybody
Live Golf bought the peg a. How many heads are gone a roll today?
Live Golf bought the peg a. Mike Ziroy broke the news just yesterday.
Golf bag clubs, holes, gruff, fringe, Holland one hutter,
It's fun, John Rahm, Brian Harmon, Harris, English websites, Justin
Rose, Ricky Fo, Jordan Speed, Mad Couture, golf shot, golf
shot, golf shot, that's a nice golf shot. Mora cowa, mourra
cowa, mour cowa mourn cowa. Russell Henley's looking at you, Chris Kirk,
He's looking at me. Tommy Fleetwood's looking at him, Max Homer Ardie
all three And to clarify once again, the DP and the DP order Tour
doesn't stand for double penetration