Welcome to Sword and Scale Rewind with your hosts Matt Fondelier and Ian bag Hello,
and welcome back to Sword and Scale Rewind. This is episode one hundred
and sixty five, but you know that already, and you already know that.
I'm one of the hosts of the show. My name is Matt Fondelier.
I'm joined once again by Mike, my comedian, My comedian, my
comedian. You're my comedian. Nice to have you here, my friend.
You'll notice the handcuffs are a little tighter today. You are not allowed to
leave. Episode two oh one off to a rollicking start here. I love
it. It's Christmas spirit, that's right, Christmas spirit is almost upon us.
Thank you for mentioning this. Yeah, and you needed a comedian for
your party, for your Christmas party, saying now I'm your comedian. That's
right. I love it. I've been hired. I'll accept. I accept
the money, Matt, I accept the money. You thought you were here
for a corporate gig, but you're here forever. Man. I love it.
I love it. Uh, we're still talking about murder, you know.
Yeah. I though Jesus was born, murder never stopped. It's great
It's a great point. People think during the holiday season that murder rates go
down, but don't they go They fucking go up. Really, a lot
of people get depressed around the holidays. Suicides go up, for sure.
Yeah, yeah, Well, imagine most of the crimes looting. You know,
have you been. I've been in awe about the people just looting the
stores and stealing stuff. Oh, flash flash looting. Flash looting is out,
there's what they're naming it. Well, there was that thing called like
flash mob, just like everyone would get together and start dancing. Yeah,
out of nowhere, those same people are now doing that, but instead of
dancing, they're smashing into stores. That's funny that the dance club from here
from high schools now stealing stuff. Yeah exactly. You know why, because
entertainment doesn't work out for everybody and you need stuff still, that's right,
that's why they're stealing stuff. You think you're sitting there at the store and
suddenly thriller comes on. You're like, oh, I like the song,
and then people in the aisle start doing the little werewolf thing with their hands
and the next thing you know, windows are going The band aids of the
sodas are getting styling. I don't know how you wear those coats with the
wires through them still where they steal those. I'm waiting for somebody to be
killed at one of those. I don't know about you. Yeah, it's
really only a matter of time when you break the law. Yeah, security
guards gonna go nuts. Yeah, he's not gonna be driving his little car
around having around at college like we used to talk about in that one murder
episode. But today we're gonna talk about something completely different, right, yes,
exactly, we're gonna talk about I hope you're sitting down a dead baby.
Well, we were having fun. It was all great, that was
all. It was all funny games and tell him Matt had a baby killer.
Yeah, listen, don't blame me, Blame Mike Budey. He definitely
has a thing for dead baby episodes. There's just there's gonna be another one
in a few weeks. I hope you're ready for that one. You know,
it's just I think what it is. Remember dead baby jokes? Oh?
Yeah, were they funny? You tell me what's the difference between a
dead baby and a bowling ball? I don't know. You can't take a
bowling ball out with a pitchfork. It's not funny. It's not funny.
It's stupid, though, it's so stupid. A difference between dead baby and
a football And I don't know, I don't know. Tom Brady doesn't have
a dead baby. That's pretty good. Yeah, the punchline that traumatized me
as a small child was footballs don't stick to your cleat when you kick him.
Oh my golful, horrific. I don't know why I remember these end
what I think? What's uh? What I think? The one I remember
is what's the difference between a bowling ball and dead baby? You can't stack
bowling ball. I shouldn't be laughing again, you know what, you should
laugh, But if it's if it's so out there, you should laugh like
that is so out there, like nobody it's horrific. Dead baby's horrific.
That's why you laugh at it. Yeah, I guess that's why, because
who what kind of person would stack dead babies? Right? Yeah? These
couple that were about to talk about say, speaking of which, no,
there's no stacking of dead babies in the show, but there is some starving
of babies, which I mean, we'll get into that. But I mean,
neither of us have kids, but I acknowledge and if I did,
making sure that the child was well fed would probably be absolutely one of the
things that I would be most attentive to. And maybe having it around more
than four hours a day, Yeah, twenty hours asleep. That's what they
were getting. They were giving it unbelievable. It was. It was just
can we go, let's so, let's start. Let's yeah, let's do
it. So so he's he's a YouTube guy. We're back to another YouTube
guy. Yes, this is uh seth right, seth uh, the live
stream genius who live streams. Maybe not for everybody. This guy's doing live
streaming trying to tell stories, can't get through three sentences of the story without
correcting himself. You know what I'm talking about? Yet, let me play
this one clip, fair, This is like one of my favorite things.
Five years ago, my wife and I started a farm produce business. We
had no idea where it was gonna go or where it's gonna take off.
Well, there I go. I didn't even start. At the beginning of
the story. Six years ago, my wife and I we moved here.
Um, I didn't move here to start a produce business. Like, at
this point, you've already you've already lost me. You know. The best
part is he's in the middle of the middle of the freeway doing it.
Yeah, what's up exactly? Talking about his fresh produce from the middle of
a freeway. We have we owned land in the Medain. Yeah, between
two they're they're they're soaked in the in the rare method fumes that come from
this part of the country. It's just right. I understand. I didn't
understand why he needed to do it live. What I couldn't find that out?
That was my question just in general, why does anyone do anything live?
Right? I'm thinking there's like there's some something cool about the immediacy of
let's say, like a live performance. If you're on stage, you can
hear people laughing at your jokes or applauding. People that are doing these videos
on the internet they want that immediacy, and I think getting the likes and
those things happening live while you're doing it is what's appealing. But his numbers
were like zeros and fives. But I mean, have you spent any time
on YouTube like this is what we do? People are like, we did
it. We did an episode not too long ago where the guy's like,
no where man, I got eight views? Right? Yeah? Yeah,
crazy? Oh my god. See, not everyone is as a skilled comedian
like you ian to have thousands of followers and loves and comments on everything you
put out, so many comments, so many, so many, like many.
I was feeling good about myself until a little while ago Adam Adam Carolla
called me the Richard Jewel of comedy. I was like, what does that
mean? Do you think I'm a special? And it's just like, well,
not everybody's going to be a cop then here I'm like, okay,
all right, all right, Adam, thank you very much. You see,
I try to get you some exposure, put you on the Man's show,
and this is what happens, This gets flicked in the nuts. So
well, listen, I hope you guys are enjoying our show here, Sword
and Scale rewind. Yeah, you know, we talk to us, let
us know what you think about our analysis to that episodes. Do the have
a number they can send us a voicemail. What do you mean? Oh
we should do that. Oh my god, what a great idea. I'm
going to talk to Mike about that. Yeah, we should have a voicemail,
because nothing cooler than listening to the end of the Sword and Scale after
everything's over and then you start to hear all the pole. I was like,
hey, Mike dode a great job. I love that stuff. It's
weird though some of them. You've changed my life. I'm like, what
you've taught me how to murder? Mike? Yeah, well listen, he
kind of changed my life, like, way more paranoid now than I used
to be. Oh, I I locked my door the other day in traffic.
Oh yeah, there was no chance anyone's getting in, but you didn't
care. I was. So I'm on Beverly and Wilsher, that's those two
cross right, and I'm watching this guy panhandle, and all of a sudden
he starts reefing on people's doors. Now it's time, and I'm just like
what Yeah, And usually before I did this, I probably would have just
got involved. Probably would because he saw a sudden he started to try and
open mine. I probably would have pushed, pushed it and knocked him down,
right. Yeah. Yeah. Since we started doing this show, I'm
just like, everybody's gonna kill me, everybody exactly. So I was just
like, it's it's stupid. How it's changed me. Yeah, I'm like
I had to drive away. Oh scare I used to approach things in life,
No, I just run and hide. I used to have huge nuts.
Yeah, well we got off track here. Let's talk a little bit
more about this live streaming guy here a dick. So I agree with you.
I don't think it was ever clear why he was live streaming. You
could have gone for the best takes, set up a camera, get a
little bit of editing equipment. Not a bad voice, No, he has
you know, had a pretty good voice. So I'm like, because I
thought, oh he's professional when I first heard it. What do you think
of his organic family farm? Black Acre, that's what it was originally called.
I so when I when I when I was looking into this, and
I don't know if you can answer this. Did they name it or buy
it black Acre and then change it? Or was black Acre not doing well?
So have they changed it? Great question. I don't know the answer.
I am willing to bet that that scenario could be possible, that it
was purchased with that name and then they changed it. Either way, it's
a terrible name. It's it's like I think black Acre, I think.
Okay, there's an acre of land that's been scorched by a fire. That's
why it's black, right, that's why it's burned. Yeah. Yeah,
you know. Also it could be an oil field, yeah, or whale
field. These are not conjuring images of like luscious fruits for me to enjoy.
Yeah, it's it should be. If you're gonna go a black acre,
it should be it should be doing like angry orchard side or something.
Yeah, have a little bit of an ironic product. No, no,
we got lettuce. Yeah, have some fresh lettuce on our black acre.
Welcome to black Mold. Yeah, exactly. There's a great comedy show called
Arrested Development. I love it. There's a part of that show where they
had a real estate development that they called Sudden Valley, which they're like,
doesn't that conjure images of its suddenly becoming a valley and all the houses fully
in? Um. I just thought that was great, But yes they did.
They then changed it to Stewards of Creation Farm, which, okay,
so he wasn't born again until a little while after buying the farm, right,
I don't know the exact timeline, it seems like for me, it
seemed like he became as his frustrations built, that's when he became again.
Yeah, well, I guess just in the process of because the whole idea
of him being like a doomsday prepper too. I feel like all of that
is all sort of like, oh, it's end of days, it's end
of times, we need to learn how to be self sufficient. And I
feel like all of that, the long ramblings online, that seems all kind
of woven together to me. I feel like it's the same part of time,
right, you know, but stupid they had they had the children.
They didn't come there with the children. They had the children there, right.
Well, that can't be true because the kids, the older kids were
three and four years old, and I did not get the impression that they
were on that farm for very long. Okay, although he does say a
couple of years, he says five years. He got confused in his story
because he said five years ago. Oh wait, no, six years ago.
That's when he started this farm produce. So you're right, they did
have to start the produce farm, and then later the kids came, right
because he taught when he talks about um, well, we were selling about
nine hundred dollars worth of produce a week, and then they went down to
fifty dollars worth of produce. Right. I was like, oh, you
had bad product. Yeah right. People bought it first and then they're like,
oh, Black Acres has really gone bad. Yeah, it was right
in the name. We should have known. Oh no, it's a gross
No, it's true. I feel like any sort of new product, you're
definitely going to get that first round of everybody wanting to try it, and
then good luck selling it again unless it's actually good. It's got to be
it's got to be top of the line for them to do it again.
Yeah. Yeah. It just made me think. One of my first jobs
that I ever had. I was in high school and your parents were child
they were workers, putting me out of child labor. And there was a
like a golf course, country club about half an hour from where I lived,
like in the hills of Malibu, and I had a friend of a
friend of a friend like three or four degrees remover. This guy had a
business of selling hole in one contest packages. What exactly to let me explain
my job for like summers in between years of high school was I would sit
on the green of the tenth hole of a golf course, and it was
a waterhole part three, and rich country club people would come around the corner
on their golf carts and I would go, excuse me, sir, looking
great out there. Let me offer you something here before you tee off.
If you give me ten dollars, I'm going to give you all these magazines,
sleeve, golf balls, subscriptions, and if you land on the green,
you're going to get one million dollars. Now, I would do that
spiel, like a variation of that spiel, to every single golfer who would
come by, and every single one the first week would come by and give
me ten dollars, and then inevitably there's money on the line, and nobody
came anywhere close to the green. Eventually, you though, year after year,
a month after month, if the same fucking golfers, because it's a
country club, they would come back to that same hole. And so by
the middle of summer I couldn't sell anything else because everybody already tried it once
and unless it was like the superior experience, no one's gonna do it a
second time. Right. They're like Alex p. Keaton's out there trying to
sell some shit again, Yeah, exactly. That's one of the worst jobs
I ever had. By the way, I would never hire a boy to
sell something on a golf course. Yeah, it's just got to be a
young nineteen eighteen twenty year old girl who was a little goofy and her boob
pops out every swamp. Yeah, you do not want a slightly portly fifteen
year old, you know, learning how to do the tiger Woods golf ball
bounce on the three iron, you know, like that's pretty much pretty much
when I did all summer long, Whose Special Suns on the whole nights exactly.
God, oh that was much. That's a great, great first job.
How'd you get it? Though? Again, it was like a friend
of a friend like there like somebody and what's that? No, no,
now, no, it was like me And basically they told my friend like,
hey, find three of your jackass friends to like do this with.
Ah, so as your buddies hanging out. No, but it was a
solitary It was like we had to like split the shift up and I would
be there from sun up, like when the first golfers would come at like
six in the morning, and you'd have to stay there until sundown, and
I would just be there for hours and hours, sun burnt mat. That
was That was a rough time. But Seth and his stewards of creation farm
failing after the first go round, that's what it reminded me of second round,
you know, yeah, second summer. Yeah. But here here's the
deal. He could go back. You could go back to your parents.
That's true. He lived. He lived on that golf course. Yeah,
his golf course. I also thought it was really funny that wall. Maybe
not funny, it's not the right word. But while while Seth is doing
this very natural living off of the land, his wife is working at McDonald's,
which is probably the most unnatural thing on earth. They're so far from
I'm gonna go water the plants from the sun. You go, you go
make your chemical burgers exactly. I saw a video once of a dude's smoking
a French fry from McDonald's like a cigarette. That shit scart me for a
wife, dude, Like, who can smoke a French fry? It's real.
I'm surprised there as in cars that run on French fries from McDonald's.
They probably could. No, there's like museum exhibits that show that this food
just doesn't age. Yeah, that can't possibly be good for you. But
really, the question that I think we all know the answer to is how
the hell is seth keeping track of his little kids and doing all this farm
work while his wife is flipping burgers? And how much farmworks are you doing?
Because he's busy doing making his videos. He's making a lot of videos.
They are They're focusing on tomatoes, berries, and raw honey from bees.
I feel like this is starting to sound like a Jack Black comedy.
You know, bees everywhere like it. This is not a good situation.
I got wasps spend set of bees? Yeah? Exactly? Um, how
do you how do you know that? Here's a big question. How do
you fuck up honey? Yeah? You don't even have to do anything.
It's just a collect Yeah, I don't get it. Man, put on
a hockey mask and go in. Yeah. Yeah, here's what I'm wondering
too. Though. He's probably overcharging because it's like a small family farm,
and maybe the honey tastes fine, but who wants to drop like fifteen dollars
on a jar of honey? You can get honey for a dollar? True?
True, I. I just there's something that's off, right, because
he's bought a farm that obviously worked and now he's sent it into the ditch.
Yeah. I wonder how he got the money to buy the farm.
I never even thought above that. Yeah, another great question because it didn't
sound like they owed anybody money. They were busy living on the farm and
and just shank itting in the woods would by not being able to sell anything,
but they weren't saying that the bank was ready to foreclose or right,
that's true. A lot of these stories, they the like murders whatnot,
are sort of because of this like financial pressure, which you're right, doesn't
seem like that's really part of this story. Yeah, they don't. They
don't seem to be freaking for money, which or at least not at first.
But then when everything starts to go off a cliff, you know,
I think that's when they start to panic a little bit. But obviously not
doing too much. Here there he's she's not, is there any I didn't
check this out, and I should probably have checked it out. Was there
videos with her and him with them like as like selling their their they're they're
they're doing the YouTube staff because that would have been way more sellable than Yeah.
I don't know. I feel like he's listen. I don't know if
selling his product was really the first thing on his mind when he was doing
these live streams. I feel like, a, yeah, exactly, or
just like, let me just tell you why my scripture is better than your
scripture. It's weird, right, you know it's weird when my Jesus is
better than you're Jesus. Yeah. Yeah, I mean this story takes place
in like twenty eighteen, which is still like, why are we still arguing
about this Religion's what's up? Well, I don't get it. When things
don't go right, it's an easy thing to go to and it's an easy
easy thing to use as to blame people. Well, they don't believe,
and that's why this is happening. Yeah, you're being I'm being punished because
of you. I'm I'm God's God's son. You're I'm the one that's punishing
for your being punished for your sins. Yeah. I think I've just reached
personally just a level of don't give a fuck, like so deeply about when
it comes to the religious issues. Yeah, I kind of walk away.
I really. Yeah, I'm not invested in it at all, right,
but you're right. I mean, it's just you're right. When it defines
every part of your like living day, and somebody is questioning it, I
guess that's the reaction. And they also they pick certain parts to you know
that that suit them, right, Yeah, I mean I just feel like
that's everybody. I just stopped arguing with people because I'm like, you're just
They're like, all right, cool, Yeah, you're picking your things.
Good for you, man, you got things that are important to you.
It sounds like you've been on TikTok for a while. Yeah. Oh man,
Well, love you play another clip here if we can. I love
the cluing along here. I rewound the clips a lot because just listening to
them just was making me giggle and feel sad because yeah, just I'm like,
I think a lot of my friends wish they could do this as a
comedy sketch. Yeah, well, right, by the way, that reminds
me. I talked to a fan of the other podcast I'm on the Water
Cooler. It's available on iTunes, and I was talking to a couple fans
of that show, and one of them told me that he listens to Sword
and Scale rewind, but he has never heard an episode of Sword and Scale.
He just listens to our show. I was like, wow, interesting,
So you must really need some context for the things that we're talking about.
He's like, no, you guys do fine, like really cool.
Well, well that means we're explaining the murder very well. Yes, I
want to be honest with you. I love listening to him. I love
the way they're put together. Um, there's nothing else like it. The
quality is amazing, and it's it's um, it's it's equal to anything that's
put out by million of dollar companies. Yoh yeah, and it's just but
there's no boundaries with Mike, which which is great. It reminds me of
something I was going to say earlier. I think the reason why there are
so many dead baby episodes of sort of Scale is because this is the only
show that's willing to go that farm when it comes to covering stories. A
good point, like you'll hear like the uh, I can't remember that there's
some recent story the kids that were like all locked in their basement for thirty
years t Lucos or whatever, yeah, yeah, whatever. They weren't called
the telucos. But I'm gonna call a bit like that. You know,
those stories get coverage, you don't really hear on a national level about the
like weirdo farmer dude who started his kid to death right sort of scale.
Is gonna give you like way too much detail about that's that's the problem.
Well, they're gonna do the pretty, the pretty episodes, right yeah,
and they're they're not gonna push the boundaries too much. And that's what's killing
Network TV is that there's shows like this, and there there's shows on I
think there are comedy shows on Netflix and Amazon and stuff that push the boundaries
that don't keep it to twenty two minutes, that can spill over to twenty
six minutes. Meanwhile, Network TV is still in nineteen fifty and very wanting
to show a couple in bed together, you know. Yeah, so that's
why this shows the best man. That's why take that Keith Morrison right in
the nuts, your son of a breach. Oh yeah, he's the other
Canadian that does murder. Oh nice, let's talk about let's play another clif
here. I want to play it. Earlier, we mentioned it, we
talked, we alluded to it, but let's hear Seth talk about able business.
We had a lot of loyal customers, we had a lot of supporters,
and last year we were really pushing it, really getting big, really
taking the big steps, and things kind of came crashing down around our ears.
To be quite frank with you, while sales started very well through the
month of June, by July, things dropped off and kept dropping off,
quite frankly, right off of a cliff. The fact that things went flying
off of a cliff within arguably two weeks of the business starting is a pretty
good indicator. Like, I don't even know he should be so embed gave
him, I gave him a year. And after listening to this cliff again,
I'm really, oh, yeah, was it that quick? Yeah,
we were doing great in June, and then on July, first three days
after it changed the summer, that's when things went off a cliff. Like
you should be too embarrassed to say that. And in four weeks, is
anybody considered a loyal customer? Yeah, that's great too. We had so
many loyal customers. They bought once. How loyal is that they put their
name, they put their email down on the mailing list and assured me that
they would be back again. Suck my rocks at yahoo dot com. So
this guy is the ringleader, he's the he's in charge of his own little
kingdom. But when the people finally start to see what this place really looked
like, it seems like a pretty terrifying place. Unkempt yard, the fence
that has like hent believe, like all these like horrifying quotes on the wall,
like this does not seem like a fun place to live. So I
listened to this episode while we were driving to Vegas and traffic was bad,
so ways took us off off the road. And as we're we're listening to
this, I'm looking out the side and you know where there's they used to
be a water slide and it's been kind of taken apart on the way on
the fifties, I most certainly do, okay, So if you go off
the road there, it's all those places like this with Jesus is coming Sin
all the written on painted on the fence. So I'm going by and I
said to my wife, this is what we're listening to, right, that's
a wild Yeah, it was crazy. I mean you, I guess California
is just such a diverse state. You think that it's just like this big
liberal la Hi. But you don't have to go far at all to see
the you know, twenty twenty four and yeah, yeah, it's a pretty
strange state, that is for sure. I want to transition now into the
N one one call. That's for after the show. Yaan, Okay,
this is one of the most unbelievable nine one one calls. And I know
we say that a lot on this show, but this is unbelievable. For
every time we say this isn't this has got to be the worst. Somehow
a new episode comes out and we're like, holy shit. Yeah. Well,
oftentimes the flodder comes from how horrible the NI one one operator is this?
That the nine one operator are fine, they're kind of neither here nor
there. But Seth describing to the police this scene of this dead baby,
his dead baby. It's almost as though nine eleven called him and was annoying
him. That's right, sir, Sara, dead baby on your property?
Maybe maybe who wants to know what would how would you tell if it was
a dead baby? Well? I have a bunch of clips of the nine
one one call because honestly, like as I was listening to the episode,
I was like, oh that's oh my god, Mark that oh Mark Market.
Every everything that comes out of this guy's mouth is just more horrible than
the last. It's cool. I want to open up there. If if
his vege fruit and veg was as good as it's comments in the nine to
eleven, they'd be still selling today. Yeah, that maybe it would have
been a fat Maybe I have to ask you sit nine to eleven multiple times
now instead of nine one one? Is that a Canadian thing? Do you
guys not say nine one one? Um? I don't mean to stop the
flow of conversation. I just noticed it, you know what. It was
funny because I was saying it, and now it's like, it's mine sounds
different than York eleven is like you know that horrible day in New York when
the towers came down. I'm kinda one one is those three digits on the
phone. It isn't it is, but it isn't say I'm Canadians. So
we put our month afterwards eleven nine eleven nine right in Canada. Yeah,
so that's why you say nine to eleven? Yeah, so freely? Yeah,
like nothing bad, all right, but listeners, you want to know
you're welcome. Somebody's out there, son of a bit much just say September
eleventh. Um, I want to play this clip. This one's long.
It's the like basically the opening ninety seconds, but so much. This is
worth it, no matter even if you listen to that episode or you haven't,
like your friend from the Watercooler podcast. Yeah, these these nine to
eleven calls are worth it. It's it's just I mean, you'll hear it
right now. Let's play again. We'll be back in like ninety seconds,
nine on one. I guess I don't know if this is the right place
to report this to. Um it is I'm at home, and UM,
I don't know if this is the right place to call. Where else are
you calling? Yeah? Like is this? Uh? This wouldn't be war
worse, would it? Yeah? Can you please transfer me to the clothing
department? He must have thought when he got that call, though, a
guyment, Oh fuck, he's gonna order a pizza. Yeah, that up
breaker? All right, here we go. How old is the child?
Like ten months? And why do you believe a child of the sea?
I have no idea. We just walk up and can we stop there.
I hated both of them at that point. Why do you believe the child
is just deceased because it's dead? It's like, what a weird question.
I'm pretty sure the baby's dead. Well, well, why do you think
it's dead? Well, because he's been walking around saying weird things backwards?
You know that. Later we obviously I think maybe they're just like you ask
that question because it's like, is their blood you know it is there?
Well watch it? How do you think the baby died? That would have
definitely been a better question, right than what makes you think the baby's car
accident? He was driving? Yeah, babies can't reach the pedals. He
went right through the wall, and we thought dead baby joke Ford funny.
Come on, come on baby, Yeah, listen us, big guys.
You're at a and Drew. Are you home alone? No, I'm here
with my wife and my family. Did the child have any medical history?
No? Noon, I'm gonna start and Andy until good doctor Michael did best
and Chelson I can't county? Okay, what coming? Get what happens?
Sir? Hold on? Just second colors with this ten month old child that
he believe is deceased? Me Okay, can we souther there he's with him
baby that he thinks is dead. No way, this baby's dead. That's
kind of he thinks his baby's dad. But I know from sitting here this
baby isn't dead. So you tell me that. Do you think these guys
just aren't even believing me? Well kind of it, like he thinks his
baby's dad. Well, come on, this guy doesn't have a baby.
It's a cabbage patch though. You know, Yeah, I don't. I
don't think I ever read that into it. There's a little bit of there's
a little bit of sarcasm and as to see that, yeah, he hasn't
dead because he calls him, Hey bout its mutes just gotta get one by
them. Yeah, it's like, hey bout it's met. This guy's on
the phone. Thanks. I completely agree with you. I think that sort
of stuff that we get to hear on sort in the scale. I don't
think the nine one one caller heard that, you know, like they basically
are well you're listening to the tape from the nine one one agency, right,
So there is totally like that callers on mute, and that's why like,
hey, jail, look, we got this guy online too. I
think he's blah blah blah, because you imagine being on the side and then
hearing the transfer, like, yeah, that would really out. It's almost
made. It's not like it called him, Hey bad, got a dead
bodio here, But hey I get somebarrassed afterwards. Yeah, exactly. It's
got two more calls here in my ships over some somebody would cost. I
can't take it in the left ear anymore combat telling who happened? Um,
I mean it's not going away. Put her down yesterday and on the roads
are up this morning, and he said, all right, coming exactly,
why do you think I don't have um one second? Sure? So why
do you think it is? I don't know. They're using the wrong words,
right, Yeah, they're using the word Why do you think this baby's
dead? It's not. How do you think this baby died? It should
have been right, Yeah, I think you're right, because it's it is
hard. I mean, you should be able to answer the question either way.
It's really not that hard to answer. Well, why do you think
the baby's dead? Baby's not breathing? Okay, okay, because the baby's
blue, baby's blue. Because the baby's blue is jamped that bad. You
see that Ottle Blockbuster commercial with the dancing baby. The baby's not doing that.
That's how baby. It's just lying there. Yeah, and baby answer
all right, there's like eight seconds left on this s No, it's good.
Sure, Why do I think? See that? Yeah? And the
heart beat annoyed. Yeah. He really just sounds completely inconvenience. Like you
said, it sounds like they called him, Yeah, can you come get
this baby so I can get back to my apples. I've got my wasp
honey that I'm trying to take care of, right. Well. The part
that then is even more dumbfounding is when he explains that he hasn't been near
the baby in over an hour and that he called his lawyer first. And
then there's it was his lawyer who advised him that he should probably call the
police. There's two things about that. There's so much about that. But
if I don't know, if I don't I've never been around somebody that passed
away like that. But I don't know how in control I would be with
my emotions. Like you got to get here, you would still be thinking
that may be there's a chance, maybe there's a chance. Yeah, Like
let's not let's not have this conversation. We have this conversation after somebody gets
here, checks and make sure that see if we can save this baby.
Yeah, or like where's the hysteria? Yeah, there's nothing there. And
it's like, oh God, this baby's getting to me like you wouldn't believe.
Yeah, he's dead and I'm just hanging there. You know that babies
don't even make Honey, this baby we're supposed to be the picture. I'm
a new honey jar and it's not gonna say, honey, I want to
play the audio of him talking about calling his lawyer because I know you love
this so much. I didn't gonna go how long ago did you find this
child? It's about an hour and a half. I was waiting. I
called my lawyer first thing to act. You know, what's the next thing
I can do? And they said, wait till they're here to call you
know, the police and get that going. Thoughts on the calling of the
lawyer, Yeah, it's the first thing you do anytime, right, anytime
anything goes wrong anything. I am confused by these people that have a lawyer.
Yeah, it's not normal to have a lawyer that you call when somebody
dies, that's your first call exactly. So anytime I hear something I got,
I like on these crime shows, I gotta call my lawyer. Why
do you have a lawyer? Yeah, I know I have a lawyer,
but I would never call my lawyer's my entertainment lawyer. I own five percent
sometimes, Yeah you don't want all that. Yeah, I don't call him.
He's not gonna do anything, and he's gonna ask for five percent.
So let's let that. So I don't understand when they say I called my
lawyer. Yeah, see, my dad's a lawyer. So I like to
use it as a threat to people, be like, listen, I'm gonna
call my lawyer if you're not careful. But what it really means, I'm
gonna call my dad. Just say hi, he's your dad. Really lawyer.
Yeah that's but not like a criminal defense lawyer or kind of lawyers.
He does medical Yeah, he does an accident a law like medical malpractice stuff.
Oh really, Yeah that's a badge. You would have been prefect for
this one. Oh yeah, I have the hospital, have been there,
the baby would have been fed. Therefore it's a hospital. Fuck. Let's
get some more apple trees. Up on this orchard. Yeah. The nine
one one operators are doing this weird thing during this entire call where they keep
saying like okay to things that are not okay. Yeah, do you know
what I'm saying? Like he'll he'll be talking about this baby's dead as a
doornail, but just another day around here, and they go, okay,
okay, what else is going on? I'm I would be a horrible nine
one one operator because I would be flipping the fuck out. See, you
would think they would be a little bit of um um desperation in nine eleven
operator, no matter what, you're like, all right, let's get some
out, let's get some people out there, Let's get these people out there.
Like, but there's none of that at all. I also just listening
now. I didn't even really notice it research in the episode, but as
we're playing these clips back, I feel like the operators really young. I
can kind of hear in his voice it sounds like maybe he's not the most
experienced. You didn't think that. We'll only play one more clip of him.
Let me see if it's this when he says as dead as a doornail.
I didn't grab that clip. I just thought it was a weird thing
to say. Really weird expression is dead as a doornaim, we're gonna use
it as a door stuff. Oh no, well's the difference. I don't
know, there's none. There's both savior walls. Yeah, let me hear
this clip. I'm telling myself. Let's hear this clip. Let's listen to
see if the if the nine one one voice is like maybe a little bit
young. Everybody listened together. Listen, when was the last time do you
had contact with a child? Guy? Sounds like no house last night?
Umout yesterday afternoon about three pm to bed. I'm not a doctor, you
know that was that. I'm not a social worker, but I'm thinking that
might be a little too early for a baby to go to bed. Three
in the afternoon. Oh look at that, son's almost going down. Time
to get to bed, time to get to bed. And then even nocturnal
animals don't go to bed at that time. I completely agree him, also
saying that it was not unnatural for the baby to sleep sixteen to eighteen hours
a day. That's what people say about babies all the time. They're like,
you know what, I have a hard time waking up my baby.
That's everybody's never that's the reason why everybody's always tired, because the baby sleeps
so much. I honestly thought, like, does he think he's raising cats?
Like cats sleep twenty hours a day. You know, that's raising our
baby to be a cat. Yeah, it's it's in a litter box right
now. I don't know. I just all. I mean, we've said
it a couple times already, but I really just feel like this call sounds
like he's calling into like a customer service line because he has to reset the
clock on the oven, complaining about his baby. Yeah, I'd like to
complain about my baby. I put it down yesterday at three o'clock and now
it won't wake up. Um, so anytimes I get a new baby,
yeah, well, of course. The sad truth, though, is that
the baby was starved to death, left alone for at least nineteen hours,
death by malnutrition. When paramedics arrived, the house was infested with flies.
The ten month old only weighed eight pounds, so like that, I honestly
thought it was like a typo. When I heard that, I was like
that camp be just skin, just skin and bones, so so gross.
When Mike talked about how long a person takes a person to starve to death.
You're just like it was just the pain, that like it didn't have
enough energy to cry. Yeah, that that is just that's what stays with
me, I think more than anything. It's just it's funny. My wife
works in the medical field, and she said something before Mike said it.
She goes, that baby didn't even have the energy to cry. She's like,
that baby was just so weak. It's just in pain. And yeah,
just a horrible, horrible person, both of them. Yeah, let's
talk about the mom too, because she well, I didn't hear much other
than she was she had a good shift at McDonald's. She definitely loved her
job at McDonald's. What's relevant to this episode was that she said that she
breastfed the baby every day, which was it was clear that the baby had
not been breastfed. She said she she pumped all her milk at one time,
just like babies eat once a day. And that's it. Yeah,
and yeah, I'm sorry, I just have a no I'm reading right here
about this idea that it takes three weeks to die of starvation, but obviously
less than that for the baby. Yeah, that was just that was so
messed up. I was wondering why they didn't talk a little bit more about
the other children, because they must have been starving too. Yeah, you
know, I would like to have known were they close to death or were
they or were they just treating this one bad? Right? You know?
Yeah? I mean, I'll get into it a little bit when I talk
about some of the updates that I came across, But it did seem like
it was just the whole place was just being run like a hell house.
You know, there just wasn't really much of a chance. I think even
if the kids were being fed properly, there's plenty of other psychological scars that
were Do you think you inflected on them? Do you think when do you
think people should get more? There should be extra you know how Um,
if it's a hate crime, you get more time. If it's against a
child, should there be more time? Should become ye, should it become
federal? I mean, I guess so, I think. I mean,
it's just like when it's against somebody who just like has no chance of any
rebuttal or anything like that, like a little baby, like a little kid,
that's just it's not that it's totally cool if it's somebody older, but
I don't know something about like how baby can't fight back in any way and
by that, you know, and then again just having being a religious person
like Seth claims to be family and children like these things are pretty important to
all of that. His his his excuse for the baby. They had to
wait to see the doctor, and then the doctor said there was something wrong
with the baby, so they had to go, you know, uh,
send something that had child services, that had yeah, child CPS, child
protective exactly. So that was why they didn't trust doctors, was because last
time they went to a doctor, the doctor reported them, right, And
I'm your kind of go, okay, it's child Protective Services at fault because
the doctor obviously noticed something and there was obviously something there. So how did
they how were they able to continue on? Yeah? How how was the
story not resolved in that moment? Yeah, it's a great It's it's again
when we when there are stories like this on sort and skill, you can
really stretch the blame can go pretty far back. Um, but in this
case, it was pretty pretty direct. I totally understand what you're saying.
I was also curious was the mom abused. Well, I could tell you
a little bit about that, tell a case update that I received, But
let me tease that for one more seconds. It because before we get into
the updates, let's wrap it up a little bit with Seth before we get
into his wife, because we get to hear a little bit of Seth complaining
when he's behind bars. I want to play that real quick, because let's
hear if he's really being unfairly treated. Do you feel like they're being justly
treated? Am I being justly treated on the inside? Yes, I am
very thankful for the um conditions that could be much worse. I believe I'm
being unfairly charged and being made an example of for my very strong faith and
the trying times that are ahead, and being made an example of. He's
being made an example of. I would like to thank them for feeding me
and giving me a place, a clean place to sleep. Yeah, he's
so, he is being treated better in jail than he was his little daughter.
That's a very good point. You're right, But he's saying that nothing
he did was criminal and that you know, it's his religious right too.
Well, that's some of these people and it's we don't like to argue about
it and stuff would like that. But people think they're religious because they read
the book, you know, and then everything they do is not is not
the way that the Christianity is apparently love each other and take care of each
other and and and learn like there's if there was no if there was no
you know, growing, we'd still be walking looking around in sandals and not
taking planes places. You know, So you got it. Yeah, it
is medical? Is it is it scary? Yes, it's scary. There's
certain things that are scary about it. But when people talk like this,
this is mental health. This guy is mental There's so so many people that
talk like this, and we can't. Let's let them talk like this.
They're they're they're they're talking like this is a cry for help, and they're
they're insane there and and it's it's it's it's it's ridiculous that because they're able
to put the religion on it, they're able to get away with it.
Yeah, because there's so many people that do things like he is. But
just that just give enough to that child that it survives and you know,
it is just treated enough that it lives with them and stuff like that,
like that, like that's case that we're talking about, not in the case,
but the story that we're talking about, what the family of fifteen kids
or whatever it was, and and they're weird. They just had enough that
these kids would would would live. Yeah, and one got old enough that
it escaped and was able to say help us. It's a constant struggle I
think in the United States. So angry I was. No, that was
good though. I like the passion, but that this sort of I think
part of the episode description of this sort in scale, which they don't really
touch on too much in the content of the episode, but the idea that
in America, this freedom of religion is it's a very complicated issue. And
just like you're saying, there are people who do terrible things that then use
this freedom of religion as like an explainer and that's a really shitty thing to
do. But then I think it's also a really shitty thing to restrict what
somebody wants to do for their religion. No, I don't, I don't.
I'm if you want to do that, you know, here here's the
deal I feel, you know, if if you can't explain Santa Claus.
You can't explain Jesus, all right, So they're both very good stories.
So so, but that's how I feel like. And if you want whatever
gets you through the night, that's what I am. Very much like that.
But you know, when it comes if what you're doing, what you're
believing, hurts people, yeah, that's where you gotta draw that line.
Yeah, And it's not a freedom, Like there's freedom of speech, but
there's not freedom of consequences, so and and and and with this guy,
I also feel like if you listen to him talk, it's just arrogance and
ignorance. Yeah, is very arrogant. Arrogant and his ignorance is just then
put them together and it's just never a good thing. Aren't religious people supposed
to be humble? Are just supposed to be humbled by the Lord or whatever?
Yeah, just losto listeners there. I'm pretty sure religious people aren't listening
to this. Yeah, you can tell us if you are. But I'm
sure. I'm sure we're getting's a big Mormon convention, sure, but I'm
not sure. I don't want to be disrespecting a person who does believe,
you've very strongly in their faith. But if part of that strength in their
faith means you have to strangle a baby before you get bed every night,
then maybe we'll have something to talk about here. Your faith is your faith.
Yeah, it is not what you it's not what your child signed up
for. Your child signed up to live and be, you know, be
treated humanely right, and that's it. And the religion part is different.
And that was one of the notes from this story is that this idea that
these religious exemptions kind of hurt children more than it helps. Yeah, I
would say yeah, because you're right too. A lot of times the kids
are just they don't know any better. They shouldn't have to know any better.
But if your parents are fucking wackadoos, and I'm gonna say that this
is probably get us in trouble. But when you when you look at some
of these splinter group groups of religion and some religion, it's just to get
pussy. Please elaborate. It's like when you when you when when the guy
the guy that uh in Wayco, Texas, that was all him just he
figured out a way to get laid by saying everything's gonna be okay, Everything's
gonna be okay. So imiting everything's gonna be okay, you know what I
mean. And he used the word of the Lord and people, there's followers
out there. I think the people that listen to this show have a very
strong personality, but there's people out there that don't have strong personalities, and
they follow. And we all have certain work fears, and it's all about
the same thing. We're all gonna die at some point, and people are
scared of that. And when when there's a thing that's put on, it's
gonna be okay, You're not gonna die, You're just gonna go to heaven,
you know what I mean. People, Oh, I feel good again,
you know, because it's it's it's it's a it's a mind game,
and it's and it's it uses people. And and I'm not saying every religion
and I'm not. I don't know which one is right and I don't know
which one is wrong. But I'm just saying, if you look at Cirta
and things, it's a grift. Yeah, And what he's doing here is
nothing but a grift. I don't want to work a job. I want
to have my own farm, my own I don't know anything about farming.
So it's everybody else's fault that I had these loyal customers for fucking three weeks
and then they stopped following me, and now my wife has to work at
McDonald's. You know, it's it's a fucking grift. You have to you
own a farm, you have to do a lot of work, you gotta.
It's there's there's farmers are up at dawn and work until night. They're
not babysitting yet, you know what I mean. Yeah, there's your fence
has got to look good. You got your place has got to look kept.
You gotta who's gonna buy, you know, stuff off you if you're
not so, I don't know. It's just a grift. It's a there's
so many grifts out there, it's unbelievable. And I like the word grift.
That's a great word. I'm realizing too that if his farm was as
uncamped as it appeared, then of course that product is going to be terrible
too. Absolutely, you know, those loyal customers again, is just like
somebody, some nice old lady being kind to him at the county. I'm
sure, I'm sure we'll give this a shot. Have you ever been to
a farmer's marketing? Oh? Yes, and fat. I went to one
not that long ago up in Malibu. You're in the country, lad,
No, there's there's no markets all over South California. But they're great.
Yeah, they're expensive, They're they're always expensive. Yeah. I'm not a
loyal customer to any of them. And you yeah, exactly. But you
try something and you go, this is good, I'd buy it again,
or that was horrible. I'm not buying again. And obviously their product was
not a good product. Exactly. Well, this guy, Seth was found
guilty of a terrible product and sentenced to life. Now he was found guilty
of felony murder. Your voice makes me laugh. Thank you. That's what
my wife says to first three child abuse, mandatory life in prison, no
possibility of parole, which I love those words in pieces like this. No
possibility of parole. Good. I don't want to hear you're thirty years from
now, you know, saying that you're sorry, you're done. You're done
now, his wife. This is where my updates are because when this episode
came, gather around, I don't know about the update. There's everybody to
gather around, gather out everyone when this up. When this episode came out.
We did not know what happened to Tatiana the wife of skating. She
was figure skating at McDonald's. She again, this is in the episode she
pleaded no contests. She was expected to get twenty five years in prison.
There's this weird thing where she gave birth to another child while she was in
prison, and that that child is not allowed to have contact with. So
how many kids is that total? Is that five total or four total?
Let's see three and then a fourth child, so that would be one UM
and obviously the youngest one no longer with us UM. But here is the
update. That plea of no contest she withdrew that, which meant it did
have to go to trial. She decided to let a jury decide what her
punishment should be. She's a same word and it isn't Christian. Now,
this was just a couple of weeks ago. This update is this is a
hot and fresh update. It's hot and fresher than the big Mac that she
used to serve a cup of coffee, hot and steaming gaffy on your crutch.
So as you're listening to this, I'm not kidding. Like a couple
of weeks ago, not even a month ago, this woman, Tatiana,
was found guilty of murder and child abuse. She testified that she was abused
and tortured by her husband, which is what left her unable to care for
the baby. The most gruesome story in her testimony was that Seth put a
gun to her head and raped her, and that he had also tried to
perform an exorcism on her when she was pregnant with that fourth kid. But
here's the deal. I can believe all that. I believe it too.
I believe obviously those things came up though as a way to be like,
oh, lightened my sentence, feel bad for me, look at look at
what my husband did to me. I shouldn't be in prison forever. She
should have been crying, she should have been screaming out when they were on
nine to eleven. Yeah, now I'm getting confused in God, not in
my mind. I know what you mean. But here's the thing. The
autopsy showed that she had not fed her baby for days, even though she
said that she did. And you could just tell from the biology of the
breast, of the lips, of the stomach. There's all different kinds of
things you could use that would indicate if there's any food or has been any
food or breast milk, nothing at all. So on November seventeenth, twenty
twenty one, she was sentenced to life in prison without the possibility of parole,
which is the felony or excuse me, the mandatory sentence for a felony
murder conviction. So I was pleased as punched to hear that because when we
first heard this episode, I was actually kind of wondering, like what happened
to the mom? And in my mind, I was like, you know
what, she's probably getting a pretty big sentence. But my guess is that
they would like feel bad for her and let her off the hook a little
bit, but apparently not sell. So I don't know did they feel like
this was justice delivered? I kind of feel like both these people, I
feel I deserved to have their lives spend in prison. Absolutely feel Do you
know what happened to the children? The other children? Do they? Because
when they go to live with the grandparents, I sometimes I'm like, well
is that much better? Yeah? Because you created that piece of shit over
there? So should you get a second shot? Right? Because I don't
know, well, I didn't see if it was specifically with the grandparents.
Definitely, the two siblings were you know, taken from the farm and not
allowed to have contact with their parents. I assumed that they would go to
some sort of family member. One can only hope that there is somebody normal
and that you know, immediate family that could take responsibility. But I again,
this is an assumption here, But I would like to think that if
in fact the grandparents are not capable of taking care of the kids, that
they wouldn't put them in that position. I would like to think that they
would maybe research it a little bit better make sure they end up in a
home that's going to be caring for them. You know, do you think
there should be some sort of investigation on how we get to these places at
when somebody's a murderer and try to see what what got them there and how
we can change their upgroom, Like was it their their environment that created it
them being that person or were they are you're asking, Oh, I just
think that should be part of like a police procedure. Yeah, I mean,
I guess it kind of is a little bit, because do you think
would slow down murder if we knew what was being done wrong? Yeah.
I mean, I don't know, we don't need that because we needed a
lot more episodes. Yeah. Sorry, I think it's my views have changed
so much after hearing so many of these same types of stories, and I
yeah, I agree with the idea that there should be a way to kind
of like preventatively keep the stuff from happening, like let's focus more on the
mental health. But there's just plenty of stories where even with that stuff in
place, it still happens. It's just sadly, like a weird part of
depravity and human behavior. I'm gonna ask, I'm gonna ask the people that
listen to this show, Yeah, send an email or tweet it. What
is there anything that could have been done that could have prevented this? Well,
here's let me bring this into the world of pop culture, because that's
what I love to do. There's a little movie starring Tom Cruise called Minority
Report. Are you familiar with this documentary? In that story, they have
something called pre crime, which is again this is really going into the depths
of some sci fi here, but they have a group of psychics who are
able to predict when a murder will happen. And now we have a special
task force whose job it is before that countdown clock runs out, get that
potential victim out of that space before they're going to get killed, and then
arrest somebody for a crime that they didn't actually commit, but we quote unquote
know that they were going to commit that crime. So now I let's take
your question. My question is like that contextualized, like, how far are
we going to go to stop a crime? Well, it's it's learning what
created what was in that was this person's environment, the reason this kind of
happened. I just think that stuff comes out in the trial, like you
will eventually kind of learn, But we don't do anything to like what I'm
saying when we put the grand kids back into that situation, if it's part
of the environment, well we're just putting more into that environment, right,
Yeah. I just I don't know how to how Like it just seems like
everybody has such a complicated life. I don't know how you say, Okay,
well this is the one that's going to become something scary, so we
better focus here on this. I don't know. I guess everybody is trying
to do the right thing and helping, but I also don't think it should
all be like over legislated and then everything's just being monitored. Like I just
feel like that can spin out a kid that can spin out control. But
I don't know, There's got to be something because why is there so much
murder now than before? Like why when we talk about when I, when
we were kids, we could run around stupid and free. Why is why
why have we grown to make that not available? Yeah? Like, what
what are we doing? You know? The gene pool, man, it's
a gene for all. We're all just too many. Everybody's related, everyone's
related. It's the gene pool is just going down the toilet. We're living
We're living proof, We're living proof. It's plazer shit. And what a
wonderful note to end this holiday special episode on huh Hi? I did like,
how about twenty minutes ago you started to bring Santa Claus back into the
fold again? And I say, oh, we were only that much closer
to the hour. We could have wrapped it. Oh, I could have
just said and to a good night, than to all a good night well
in all sincere and all sincerity, thank you guys all for listening to this
show. We have a ton of fun recording yet maybe you can hear it
in our voices. But let us know what you think of the show.
Give us a nice review on iTunes, leave us five stars, leave a
comment. Apparently you can't on Spotify. Yeah, Spotify doesn't want those ratings.
They don't want those too busy Joe Rogan. Yeah, so why don't
you just make sure you tweet it? Tweet something nice if you're listening on
Spotify, and you can tweet us directly if you want. I'm on Twitter
at Matt Fondelier, and Ian's on Twitter at sir ian Bag and ianbag dot
com two gez if you want to find out about some of Ian's upcoming toward
dates, DEGs I Knew Year Eve. I'll be in San Jose at the
San Jose improv. I just realized you and Snoop Dogg you're the two with
the doubles. You never do that bauble G B a double G. Now
you can use that if you want any want to use that in your repertoire.
I'm related to Snoop Bag Snoop back I mentioned earlier. I'm on another
show. It's called The water Cooler. You can get that on iTunes ian's
been on before. We're gonna get you on again soon because we loved having
you on that show. By the way, people, next week's episode is
about Edwin Laura, who's that campus security guard. Her goes on a freaking
rampage. It is a batshit crazy episode. Really looking forward to talking to
you about that one. And I think I think you're gonna like that one
would be fun. And uh, we're gonna try to get Boudet back on
the show soon. But you know, tell me you want to hear him
on the show again. Yeah, exactly. We really do appreciate you guys
listening. We'll see you next week, but until then, don't be a
douchebag. Yeah, your cockshackers. Sword and Scale Reward is a production of
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sure to tell your friends about us, but not your family or co workers
because I'll think you're weird. Okay, that's it, let's tell next time.
Don't be a douchebag.