You know those the clapper you know when you are in a movie and somebody
like is like, scene too, take it. I was the clapper for
a movie and I was in a I thought it would be faster and better
if I did it really quickly and got the fuck out of the shot.
So I would be like I'd run in and I'd go scene two, take
two, and I'd hit it and run away. And they would be like,
the entire purpose of your job is that we can sync the video to
the audio, so when you move, you are doing a bad job.
And I was like, it's my first movie. Yeah, plus can also
like the editors need to see the info on that because that helps them.
It's the has the clap an intern And I was like, I'm helping.
I was so fast. I'm the fastest clapper these fox I've ever seen.
And you think you were like signaling when they could start the scene like a
director like action. I think I thought that it was a requirement of film
to do it, maybe by some kind of cosmic law, and the faster
I could do it and get out of there, the faster they could do
their job. I was the fluffer on some pretty high end productions. I
didn't understand that what the job even was, and you want to go as
fast as possible with that one. It was jarring. They gave me many
tools to accomplish my trade. And those guys the best god damn fluffer I've
ever seen. Yeah, he thinks he costs like five thousand dollars a day,
but he's the best god damn fluffer I've ever seen, and we will
keep him. Would a bad smelling fluffer be a good fluffer? I don't
want to smell bad things. I'm trying to stay. It could be pharamond.
He smells like he smells like shit, but I'm really fucking hard.
But then you don't want to get two arouse, so maybe it is good.
Do you not like getting two arouse? Is there a such thing?
I'm saying in that instance, you don't want them to get too excited because
then they can't perform. They've already done their thing. They don't want to
end the scene early. That's right, fashionals, just do it again,
have you I've a few years ago did some extensive reading. Hu. I
didn't realize there are like implants where there are like valves on the side of
your the base of your dick that can like inject a small amount of viagra
into it when they needed that. Porn stars what oh salve like a little
like metal kind of knob thing. It's like the valve logo, but instead
of the back of the head, it's just on your dick. Oh my
god. Yeah, it's but smaller. I think it could have been some
false information. It was in the comment It was it was in the comments,
you know, like I was like, what's her name? Did you
know there are metal valves on balls? Sometimes it makes I can't really confirm
nor deny. I think you went down a weird back alley internet rabbit hole
and you should get out of there. I was looking up. I was
looking up at the Barbie porn and then I stumbled across that. Can we
talk about that movie? Right? Yeah? That movie is really funny.
It's very good. Barbie. Welcome to fires Gap this episode sixty three,
sixty two, sixty two. I think we're bad. Yeah, Dan,
you're in a new locale. I am. I'm getting back to full force
in terms of computers and games and internet and everything and comfort and it's good.
Been months in the making, but I'm getting settled. Mary, You're
in the same house. It's not as exciting. This isn't exciting at all.
This is the same house that I've always been in. Your room is
the same too. I don't even think. I don't even think you've moved
stuff around. I've like moved furniture. You just put a chair behind you.
You didn't move And a piano? What for what purpose? What were
you doing? Were you streaming some music? I uh streamed a game with
my mother and I needed a seat for her. Frog detective, What does
it have to do with the piano? That is a separate item. What
were you doing with the piano? I was trying to learn how to play
Peaches the Bowser song. What's your address? Not fool me once? You
plenty of Every time I asked Mary's address to like ship her fire escapes or
just potentially plan out game of the Year stuff or send any number of correspondences
to every time, she just liked it. Sends back a dot dot dot
dot dot dot dot and like it's for like fire escape. She's like,
I don't know that I like you having my address. It happens every time.
It's been like eight times. Now I know and you definitely have it,
which means you forget my address, asked me for it. And then
I get suspicious all over again. I do, well, you, yeah,
I don't I lose it. Yeah, it's but it's I've committed to
memory this time. I had a wonderful first encounter with the neighbor while I
was here. I was two days into living here, and I was putting
up like security cameras around the house, and so I'm either with a drill
and so I'm just walking around with a drill. I'm on the side of
my house. I'm probably like, you know, ten feet from the property
line of my neighbor who I've not met her yet. So I'm up there,
I'm putting a drill, you know. I get down and then I
look and there's two huge dogs that are just like there's no fence, there's
no fence in between. I've never met these dogs. I don't know if
these are nice dogs. I get along with dogs very well, but some
dogs are mean. And so I just stop and I freeze, and I
look at these two dogs and I start to try to like walk back to
the house. But then I'm like no, no, no, no,
no. I don't want them to think I'm scared. If they're mean,
they might attack and come after me if I turn my back to him.
So I turn the drill in my hand and I just stop, and I
just am staring there at these two dogs are like probably twenty five feet away,
no fence in between. And then one of them just starts shitting and
like standing or did he know? He starts getting into the thing. He's
getting into his a little stance, and I'm not moving, I'm not I'm
standing my ground here staring at him. You just fall on eye contact with
this huge dog while he's shitting, and I'm just like, I'm not breaking
eye contact here. And then he kind of stops and I go to walk
away, and then I look up and I realize his owner, the woman
that lives next to me, was right there looking at me and probably like
waved or something, and I didn't notice because I'm just staring at her dog
shitting. And then I walked away the drill like I've still not met her.
So I bet, oh, yeah, the guy holding a drill to
just stared at my dog shitting and blinking. Wait when you notice she was
there? Why didn't you turn around and then get the second. The second
I looked up and I noticed her, she was turning to go back into
her house, so I would have been like, oh, hey, how's
it going. But instead it just looked like, as far as she knows,
I probably saw her too, and I was like, no, I
need to stare at this. It is one of the most confusing me.
What's the opposite of a meat cute for neighbors? A meat meat When you
say to bring this up, I need to bring this up when I meet
her for real and just be like, listen, I wasn't just staring at
your dog shitting. Yeah, I wouldn't bring it up like that. It
might make it more awkward, Yeah, bury it keepecially, the right course
of action is that that didn't occur, and you've never seen her in your
life. I feel like that's weirder because it's like she thinks I saw her,
and I was like, I'm not even gonna acknowledge this woman. I'm
just staring at this shitting dog. But let's say, like, statistically,
what are the odds that that's something that she thought about and thinks about and
is like put effort into If she hasn't and you bring it up. Now
you're the weirdo that stared at her dog shitting and then thought about it and
made sure to bring it up again and say, just you know, I'm
not a weirdo and I don't like get off on dogs pooping. I just
it was just a situation. Like you're putting thoughts in her head, is
what I'm saying. Dad and Dan, we both love you and I and
I think you're very good in many social situations. I will say, I'm
willing to bet you probably think about everything more than Shebably she's not considered this.
I okay, I think you're overthinking. And I think next time you
see her and be like, oh, yeah, I met your dog,
like just say it jokingly in a way that maybe here's how the old tests.
Now you brought it in a way that you don't reveal that you knew
she was there, and be like, oh, I was setting up with
cameras and I met met your boys the other day, that you're your dogs,
And then like I wasn't sure if they were gonna if they were friendly
or not, but we got off to a good start. I think be
friendly. Well. I came in and told bonk the story and she was
cracking up, and she was saying like, oh my god, I get
to meet them and I get to bring this up, and it's like,
oh, look, maybe that's a way that like the flects from me being
a weird eye. I think I present you both as weird. Talk about
why I was looking at your dogs. I don't know if I agree with
me. They don't know that you are both setting yourselves up to be the
first thing that they will learn about you. And you know how, like
the first time you introduce yourself to someone, it's kind of stuck in your
head. The first words. Mike knows this better than anyone. The first
words that someone says to you can inevitably be the words that make you judge
that person and forever. If they say something stupid enough. If the first
words you say to them is is I wasn't staring at your dog pooping,
That's all they'll think about. I was only watching him poop because I was
afraid of them. Is that the first thing. I think you're in a
bit of a bubble in the sense that you hang out with only weird people
who find conversations like that normal. It's like a Ben. If you luck
out, maybe the next door neighbors are like Ben Hansen and they will hear
exactly what I thought happened. But odds are they're probably just nice people who
are not thinking about this or talking about it on a podcast right now,
and either you or your wife bringing it up is probably gonna like inception them
into thinking you are a weirdo who gets off when watching dogs take dumps.
I would just be like, Oh, I met your dogs the other day.
They seem super nice. I was, I was. I love dogs,
but I was a bit of I'm telling you, I wasn't sure if
they are being friendly or not. But uh, I think we got off
to a good start. I don't know something place. I'm mister full disclosure.
I mister we are. We aren't denying. We're saying you're gonna fuck
up your intro. I told I think I told you guys this. You
know Caro from Game Spot. She told me a story once where there was
like a Christmas or like a holiday gathering and they were all hanging out with
like as a group downstairs, and the younger, a younger girl came down
the stairs, walked into the group of people and said I'm not pooping and
everyone was like, well, yeah, ye are, definitely are. What
why did she say him? Because she was fucking pooping and she was trying
to like make it sound like maybe she wasn't by proclaiming loudly in front of
a hoole living room that she wasn't. So he who's if you smelted situation?
And so you saying like, I'm not like a weirdo for like watching
your dog shit, They're gonna be like, that's the weirdo neighbor that was
watching our dog shit, Like, don't don't accept something into their brains that
you don't want in there. And I think, I think, yes,
if I was that neighbor, or that neighbor's husband, or that neighbor like
their roommate, whatever, the situation over is over there, and the first
time we meet, you tell me that story, I personally would find that
hilarious and it would definitely endear me to you. But however, but a
normal person, you need to assume these people are normal. You can't assume
they're like a Mike Mahrdy, Mary Kish, Ben Hanson, Tim Terry.
These are normies. You assume normis and Normis don't want to even know that
they're dog poops. When I walk my dog and my dog poops every day,
I don't make a thing out of it. We don't look people in
the eye and be like, I'm so sorry my dog is pooping. We
ignore it and we pick it up and we move on with our lives.
But it's absolutely not its topic of conversation, and it will make way more
of an impact if the first five minutes you're actually conversing with her, you're
totally normal and funny and charming. Okay, say another intro. That's normal,
give me, give me something else. No, No, she'll when
she talks to you for five minutes realizes you're normal, she'll think back and
be like even if she even if she did think something weird happened, if
you are just talking her and she like you. Do you think Banto two
is overrated? Yeah? Try again, try again, Do give me another
one, keep going, get all the bad ones out. This is a
good idea. Can I do anything about Banjo TWOI no, unless you find
out she's into it. But again, you gotta feel that out. She
was wearing a Banjo Twoe shirt when she was in the back with the dogs.
Yeah she's wearing I think I'll just do the normal stuff. Like I
think, are we in a weirdo bubble where it's like because we work in
this weird industry than most of the people we know. Like I think most
people I know are pretty eccentric and weird in their own ways. We are
we are. I don't think it's the industry we are weird. I think
every single human being is weird. And I think every buddy who has a
close group of friends knows they're all weird. I think you need to assume
that these people are normal. Don't get weird with them until like the fourth
time you're hanging out. They have to be weird first, let them let
the feet all right, new intro, Oh, bring bring your dogs out,
have them shit, Oh okay, when she hold up gizmo until he
shitsu, bring gizmo out, stand out front of their window, let the
shit right, and then that way it's like mutually assured destruction. You can't
both press the new button because you both you both saw each other's dog shit,
so you can never bring them up again. And they're just look at
them through the window. Point yeah, dude, it's Bay of Pigs.
Like really, the people say it's the closest become nuclear war. I think
it's the farthest. No, that's like some Michael Myers ship. No,
let's talk No, let's talk about the Bay of Pigs. It's been long
over do on this podcast. That was a candidate thing. Yeah, is
that the missiles? Was that the same as the Cuban missile crisis? Uh?
Same time period? Ish? Okay, it was about cold war nuclear
fears. Correct, I was talking more about the Cuban missile crisis. But
Bay of Pigs is funny or sounding? Okay, sure? Sure, But
neighbors in general are they? Do they seem cool or so far? Well?
I mean because yeah, when in Connecticut it was fucking like we tried,
we tried hard to meet everyone far away. What's that Your neighbors in
your old house not crazy far away? See them through your They never really
left their house. They weren't social. They were like anti social people.
And like I feel like in the first like three days, I will I'm
riding my bike around a lot, so like I'm getting out there a lot
and meeting people, and I'm making a point of like anytime I see someone
in their garage you're walking around, I waved and I'm like, hey,
I'm your new neighbor. And I've been talking everyone and like, yeah,
everyone's been great. It's been soda. People are probably generally pretty kind,
right or nice. Yes, it's ensuring when your neighbors are nice to you.
And I got this house. I made a judgment. My neighbor came
outside. Uh, and he is a big guy, you know. Uh,
he's a large man, pretty intimidating looking, shaved head all the way
down. And when he was walking around, he wears them hard describe he
wears them definitely like metal shirts. He's wearing a Cannibal corpse shirt and like,
uh, those shorts that are like really long, like where they like
almost touch your like shins, those like long shorts. And me, I
was like thinking to myself, what's this dude gonna be? Like? You
know, who knows? Is he gonna be cool? And he came over
and immediately was just like, hey, neighbor, you like beer? And
I was like, I love beer and he was like, I really like
the darkest beers that you can find, stouts, what do you think?
And I okay, I don't actually really like stouts, and I was like,
I'm down for anything, and he was like, I'm gonna go get
two stouts and I'm coming over. And I was like, you got it,
neighbor. And he went and got his like darkest stouts because that's what
he likes to drink. He brought it over and we cracked a beer and
we talked about metal and he was great, and he was super polite,
and we get along really well. In fact, we've gone to a couple
of shows together since then, and every once in a while he brings over
a stout. My only regret was telling him that I was really in a
stout because he keeps bringing it over now forever. Your stout was Dan's drill
poop see like that impression that I didn't. I didn't want to say something
rude because he was like, you like stout. He said it in a
way where I knew he was going to give me one, and so I
just wanted to be like, yeah, who doesn't like you know, beer,
and I will drink a stout. I absolutely will drink a stout if
I first choice, though it's not it's not the thing I go to,
but I will drink it anyway. That's like apparently like all this dude drinks,
so you just hid this day he comes over and brings one over.
You just described when Gerald Ford moved in next to Homer after Georgia Bush left,
Like, hello, Homer, do you like nachos? Do you like
football? Why don't you come over and yeah, have nachos and watch football
at my house. Yeah, they just slow down what they say when you're
a president, you just talk like this. You mentioned Cannibal Corpse and I
haven't thought of them in a while, and it's my only memory of them
is I realized I was such a prude growing up that I'm I'd go to
bed bye and be looking through like CDs or maybe can cassettes at the time,
and the art on Cannibal Corpse covers was always just incredibly gruesome and like
theory, and I would turn it around and like I would look at like
the song tiles. Remember one of them was like I come blood or something,
and it's all just like you know, Hamster murder Blender. You know,
it's just like the most like shocking violence stuff ever. And I would
see stuff like that, or even when I saw like Metallica had an album
called kill Them All. I'd just like, you shouldn't be able to you
can't just talk about the same thing. It was like hearing like Snoop Dogg
talk about smoking weed on wraps, like you can't just stick You're just admitting
to break the law. Here Metallica is just talking about murder cannibal Corps is
like, no, they locked them up like that were young. That's like
that was just how you were raised when you were young. Oh that's my
grandpa talking. Yeah, that's like our parents inside of us, right,
like what's up with these you know, youths and these parents. Freak of
Kansas. Back then to my according to my grandpa was Garth Brooks was getting
big in the nineties and new Usic Danny, you ever see this Garth Brooks
joker? Yeah, it was like, yeah, yeah, he's huge.
Now. I saw him on TV the other day. He's swinging on Ropes.
He had smoke shooting into this guy Ropes. Brooks is like the most
dame guy by comparison. Your grandpa him up when I was when was this
happen? Like nineties? I remember growing up my uh Dave Matthews band was
really popular and their song Crash Into Me was really hitting the airwaves, and
every time it came on, my stepmom was like, I just do not
like these songs because we know exactly what he's talking about. It's just like
every song is about banging, like you can't get out of that. Every
song is about having sex. And even in like modern songs, they're just
saying like I love fucking and like that's the lyrics. At least back then
they were like, you know, there's some kind of illusion of what's going
on. Who knows what they're talking talking about. My grandma would get upset
when my dad would listen to Tom Petty's Don't Do Me Like That, which
is not a sexual song, and Grandma be like, I know what he's
talking about. Paul, you know, knt a fucking sweater for he had
that famous Fara Faucet poster with the red the red swimsuit swimsuit. She knitted
a fucking real ass sweater and push pinned it over Fara Faucet's body. Because
of the Lord. That only makes men and women horn hear more you the
more you like cover that type of stuff up. I feel like the more
the deep recesses of our minds are like, I'm going to be such a
freak now because you hid this from me, Like, oh, I bet
Fara faucets super gross underneath that sweater, Like I don't think. No,
my my imagination is running rampant when I see a hot pick in a loose
sweater. You know what movie? If they had seen it, I would
not have been able to watch when I was young, the whole little diddy
called Roadhouse that I finally watched for the first time two days ago. Yeah,
so I I'm pretty sure we've talked on this podcast about Roadhouse before,
and I claim to have seen it. However, you know correct. I
think what was happening was I was just confusing it with what's the Tom Cruise
Bartending movie? Oh, Cocktail? Is that it? I think I was
confusing with Cocktail. I love the idea of you being like, no,
I'm pretty sure that there's another Tom Cruise Bartending movie. Yeah, cocktail.
I think I thought because I've seen Cocktail, so maybe I thought you were
talking about Cocktail. However, Amanda found out last Friday that I had not
seen Roadhouse. She's like, we're watching this Sunday night when we're not doing
anything. I don't think I've ever gone from all right, I haven't seen
this thing before. I probably it'll be fine too. This might be one
of the best things ever made in my lifetime, in this or not even
in my lifetime, before my lifetime, before I was around. This movie
makes for a decade, and this never came up. It is like the
most Mike Marty, It's like that documentary of your life. It really is.
Is like how you never seen Roadhouds Like she's not shaming me, but
she's like, like I would have assumed this movie shaped your personality growing up.
And the whole time I was just like, this guy's cool, yea,
This Dalton guys like the coolest I've ever seen in my life. And
then Wade Garrett comes along, fucking uh Sam Elliot at the height of his
masculinity, even with that limp. The limp makes him hotter. And then
fucking the dude with what's was it, guy Terry Funk? Because Terry Funk,
a legendary wrestler, is a big role in that. Oh yeah,
okay, so that's what was I told Amanda. Fuck was his name?
He was the bouncer when he first shows up the bars, like you don't
have the temperament for this job, man, and then he kicks him out.
And then the guy who's skimming, and I've seen the gift where the
guy's shooting the shotgun and like bending his knee and having fun with it.
Yeah, yeah, And I finally saw the context for that, And by
that point I was a bit like expecting anything because I'm pretty sure mcgruber took
the whole throat ripping thing from Roadhouse, and I didn't know that. Yeah,
of course, yeah, like he does it once in Roadhouse and it
becomes just the whole basis because I, okay, they set it up like
actually sort of believably in Roadhouse. I didn't even know the premise of Roadhouse.
Amanda, while we were making dinner, was like, do you want
to know like the bearer context. I'm like, I guess some context would
help. She's like, he's like a famous bouncer across the Midwest, not
just a bouncer, but goes to like revamp bars and like bars, hiring
for a lot of money to come clean them up, clean them up.
And I'm like, all right, that sounds pretty cool. I'll still reserve
my judgment though, because I've never seen this before. And Swayze finally saunters
into this place and I'm like, all right, well, hey, this
is the coolest guy I've ever seen in my life. And the craziest fucking
bar is this when the blind pianist is playing and there's just ns flying in
the chicken wire and all that. Yeah, it's he's playing guitar on his
lap. He's an actual blues guitarist and he's playing and I was watching him.
I'm like, I think, is he blind? And Mags like just
watched trust me. They address there's there's no everything in this movie is a
Tchekhov's gun. He's like, all right to that point, like twenty seconds
after they introduced the blind guitarists, who then, of course, hey,
that's the coolest thing ever that he's playing on his lap. Also these like
solos. Turns out he knows Dalton, which, of course, because they're
the two coolest guys in the world, so they know each other. And
then you find out later there's a guy who sees music. Is that Dalton?
He's like, I heard that guy in Tennessee pulled a gun on him,
and he ripped his throat out, and the other guy was like,
no way. And then it just moves on and you forget about that until
an hour later when this dude pulls a gun on him and he roundhouse kicks
his hand with a gun on it and then pins his arm behind him and
rips his throat out and then throws him in the river. And then he
could really do that, and then shouts this, He's the best movie ever
made. He shouts to the crime lord across the river, whose bodyguard he
just murdered by rivers thrown out, oh his name. He's like, hey,
Wilson, fuck you, and then just like throws his dead bodyguard back
at him to float across the river with his juggular missing back to the body.
I was like, this is the best thing like humans have ever made.
In the same spot he was doing like shirtless ti Chi like that morning.
That was the first I knew it had a reputation. I knew enough
to know it had a reputation for being a bit like It's funny. We
talked about Mission Impossible too, like corny yet ernest, but also just in
general like it is very much a movie that I could see, uh,
like Mac from It's always Sunny, being very into like that's his idea of
masculinity and badassery. And the more I watched it, the more. When
Doc goes to staple him up when he gets cut on his ribs, pain
don't hurt. Yeah, she's like yeah, She's like, I'm gonna give
you local. He's like, no thanks, and she's like she's like,
are you sure. He's like, pain, don't hurt, and then she's
staples and he's like he don't hurt. Like and every scene as well,
there's like really no scenes where he's not fully flexed. Even when he's like
opening a door, he's like, you guys need to go in here.
He's just constantly looking like ripped as and then the sex scene between him and
Doc on the roof of the barn, it's like, it's kind of I
don't know if romantic's the right word, but yeah, I was, you
know, let's just say I didn't need a fluffer. And then you find
out later that he was doing it right across the river from the dude who
used to be obsessed with that girl, in full view of him, which
makes it even funnier. He just fuck this girl that this guy was obsessed
with across like in full the roof is extremely well lit. It's like studio
lit, porn lit. And he's just having sex with her across from the
river from this man who was like creepy obsessed with her, which is just
even more like funnier, I guess. So I think, almost like on
a yearly basis, Bill Murray and his brother and their friends watch this movie
and they are friends with the guy who either is married to or was married
to doc that woman you don't know. So whenever it gets when it gets
that sex scene, call I was like, hey, yeah, we're watching
you know, Patrick's yzeup sex with their wife right now. It's in the
Charlotte episode. So the reason we watched it because Amanda and I've been watching
Parts Unknown and in the Charlotte episode of Parts Unown with Anthony Bourdain, which
is one of my favorite episodes, Bill Murray lives in Charleston, Sorry,
Charleston episode Bill Murray lives there. He went out to dinner with Anthony Bourdain
and Sean Brock, the chef, and Bill Murray told the story, He's
like, so, my friend is married to the woman who played Doc,
and anytime we watched the movie, we call him up and say, hey,
you don't know me, but your wife's getting pushed up against the wall
by Patrick Swayze and she's not putting up much. She's not putting up much
of a fight. That's right. It's ah yeah, that movie is incredible.
I cannot believe it has never come up. And because that is one
of those movies and this has happened with this Mike where it's like we'll be
out of the bar started with Terminator two. Yeah, exactly, and it's
like we are either like we're fashioning a night around this or we are leaving
the bar right fucking now and we're going to go watch this. Oh I
want to watch this, like potentially watch party around Game of the Year.
Oh yeah, yeah, that'd be great. Like he that movie encompasses what
we I was envisioning as Fire Escapes Vibe when we first we're talking about it,
I can't believe I've never seen it before. Also, the final line
being a polar bear fell on me. Oh yeah, that's also that was
when I like lost my ship and almost had to pause the movie because Wilson
or Wade, No, Wade's the cool guy Wilson wherever his name is.
It's like, pulls the gun on Dalton, it's about to kill him.
All of a sudden, out of nowhere, as I put it, the
Coalition for Old Men with Shotguns appears in the room and starts hosing him,
and I was just losing. It was like, where'd they come from?
Why were they not here before? Like, yeah, the polar Bear scene
was very it was very funny. I also like Wade Garrett's line after dancing
with Doc. He's like that woman has entirely too many brains to have an
ass like that or something. Sam Elliott's character and this was was It was
really good. It moves too It's over before you know it. Oh god,
far too soon. There's this technically a sequel. I think it's one
of those like shitty you know, just DVD houses that like somehow gets the
license of stuff and fire sales and makes like, oh, here's Roadhouse two
or eight millimeters two. The fuck? I didn't know there's a sequel of
that. Yeah, it. I really had no idea what I was getting
into. But the fucking pool Q scene when what's the guy's name, Larry,
the guy who he rips the guy who's throaty rips out. When they
first introduce how much of a badass he is, he goes out of the
dance floor of the pool que and does like the the kung Fu come here
o and then just starts fighting everybody. And of course that's when the rivalry
between Dalton and him starts. And I like, I didn't know that Dalton
was eventually going to rip his throat out, but looking back, they definitely
started that relationship there mcgrouber thing when he's looking at someone's throat and he's just
like old a man. I was like, you still need to see mc
grouper that. I would love to hear what she thinks it is not.
It is the most leven or hated movie ever. I think she would like
it me too. I think I think I think she will. Yeah.
Fuck, Roadhouse is really good nineteen eighty three. That later later than that,
that's early. Let's see it was, Oh, I'm just gonna watch
of Texas Roadhouse nineteen eighty nine, eighty nine, Okay, uh, what
else was happening in that year? Movie Wise eighty nine Predator was like eighty
seven, let's see nine. Yeah, so that's another thing I didn't like.
In my head, again, I thought it was like late like nineties
movie, and I didn't know it was an action movie. If I had
known it was a late eighties action movie, I would have immediately known,
Oh shit, Okay, we love Predator. I love Terminators. I love
a lot of these like it. I would probably at least be on the
similar level as even if I didn't love it in eighty nine. Looking at
this list of like the biggest movies from it, it was very much like
ready to turn into nineties stuff and kind of lose that eighties vibe, like
Indiana Jones, Last Crusade, the Tim Burton Batman, h Luke, Who's
talking Lead the Weapon to Honey, I Shrunk the Kids, Ghostbusters two movies
I grew up on which came out right before I was born, and then
I was growing up on them because those are the vhss we had in the
house. Yeah, totally, and we just didn't have Roadhouse, probably for
good reason, uh or I mean sorry, not for good reason, but
in my parents mind, for good reason. But I would be probably more
insufferable than I am. Now. If I had seen Roadhouse many times before
we became free, it would have defined you even more. You would have
been impossible to deal with. What is that movie you know, for each
for both of you of like the movie that you saw at a five,
six, seven years old and it'ses or anywhere up to like your teams,
that it just defined your personality that you still, you know, constantly talk
about. Oh that I still constantly talk about. There are a lot of
movies there that I thought to find my personality. Then I got older,
I was like, oh no, no, no, no, no,
sure like boot Club, Booo Saints. Yeah, so I really defined how
cool I am I saw. Yeah, I recently described and by recently I
mean like a couple of years ago. I described people I don't like as
the types of people who grew up and still love Fight Club as much as
they did when they were teenagers or you know, for the reasons that make
it clearer that they just don't even understand what they're supposed to be there.
But like a movie that like, that's a good question, which is true
because Roadhouse is really about how violence shapes us as a society, and we
should be much more thoughtful about the ways that we solve our problems. That's
the message I took away from it, not that throats kick ass. That's
totally what I thought. That's also you know, that's also just an allegory
for like sure to take someone's voice right right, It's it's like a war
allegory. It's a bay of pigs thing. Yeah, oh, definitely a
record. It's just loved it. He shouted broad fuck you and then just
like floated him across the river to him. And then of course she's just
like, oh my god, I just saw him do the most violent thing
you could do to someone. I'm not really that into this guy for a
bit. Then all right, here's here's another funny to this movie. This
guy Massacre is like six Henchman to get to the big bad, and then
he lets that guy survive. So she's like, oh, he's he's good
after all. Yeah, he's like he's just gonna you know, he's the
guy. He's the he's gonna light himself on square or on fire in the
in the town square, Like no, he just did you not see the
dead bodies you had to crawl over to get to him? I don't know
he only Oh yeah, her jeep was real good. I'm glad you finally
saw it. That's an extremely mike ma hearty movie. And I would have
rectified this many years ago if I had known you hadn't seen it. I
saw that on TV, like with commercials, I could see that mostly holding
up on TV like it was censored. Though. Yeah, but it's the
throw rip is super violent, but it's not like oh my kidding, like
movies like violence rarely got cut out, like gunfire stuff. Like in Roadhouse,
it was mainly just super gore that got cut out, So I think
Roadhouse would be mostly intact. Yeah, I mean it. Yeah, the
like the whole movie has not aged well in terms of like there aren't any
massive women characters that aren't tropes. No, yeah, I wouldn't show this
movie like the bashed out Test, which are two women in the scene and
they're not having sex with each other or man. Yeah, and I you
know, like no, but still though I would. I mean, I
already have a poster of Swayzy on my ceiling above the bed. Sure doesn't
mean it's cool. We were bogging. I were blown away when we saw
Dirty Dancing for the first time, like a couple of years. Dancing still
rules it is. We had no idea because like I never never considered seeing
it growing up because I was like that, it seems like that's a romantic
comedy that's not for me. And then we watched it and like, I
guess it kind of is. But it kicks ass. It's incredible. Actually,
I don't know if it's much for comedy. It's what genre is that
movie? Musical drama? Like, because it's still like a musical. No
not, they're not. But it's like a dance romance. I don't know.
It's it's a romance for sure. Yeah, yeah, it's not like
a romantic comedy, but no, it's a romance. It has no comedy
at all. It's theme brings a watermel into a thing. It's it's it's
theme song is still one of the best songs ever. Oh yeah, that's
one of the movies where once you see it, you're like, oh,
I've been hearing this song at every wedding ever. I'm thinking of foot Loose
right now, you're not think at the time of my life Loose and Dirty
Dancing. I've seen definitely both really good. But I was just thinking Flash
Dance. No, I've never seen flash Dance. I've seen Dirty Dancing and
foot Loose though, and Dirty Dancing is still really good. It's awesome,
right, dirty Dancing being the movie where there's like a huge I gotta check
the wave. I gotta I gotta do the wave. No, that's Point
Break, right, Okay, I've seen Point Break is surfing with Keanu.
Yeah. Dirty Dancing is Jennifer Gray and they're like a camp and this is
the one where she's like making something out of clay and he's like, you're
fuck what is Oh god damn? When we're him and Wesley Snipes are cross
dressing with Nathan Lane and what is the what is the movie with the the
Giant the giant boat hits the ice Cube, the one where there's a stargate
Fuck? No, fuck, no, fuck. There's those two guys in
Boston. They're the Saints and they're Boon dot Com. It's shit. They're
on Alcatraz and terrorists come over. What's the point where he just will not
die easily in this tower? Fuck? But none of those are swazy?
Online? Are Swazies ghost Swazy? Oh yeah, I'm not realizing I've not
seen. We did a whole like Summer of Swazy thing like a few years
ago where we watched Dirty Dancing, Point Break, Ghost, and Roadhouse.
I can't remembers all for the first time. I think i'd seen Roadhouse at
that point. Uh, Ghost was the only one that didn't hold up.
Point Break is like the most perfect fucking movie I've ever seen. Swayze a
Patrick hat trick, Patrick three best Patrick Swayze films in a row, It's
Dirty Dancing, It's Roadhouse, and it's uh point Break without a doubt.
Whoa, let's do it? Wait? So okay, Point Break. If
memory serves, he is the leader. That's like almost like heat. But
they're surfers and then they were they were present masks and they rob Banks Radical.
Yeah he can't he can't shoot, is it Swayzy? He can't shoot
in that scene? Then he because he's behind the mask. Yeah, he's
pretty cool. Okay. Anthony Keat is from the Chili Peppers, and then
he's significantly less cool than Swayze. It takes a it takes a lot to
make Anthony Keatos seem not cool. But Swayze is a pretty good job and
he does a pretty good job in Scar Tissue's autobiography. Yeah, yeah,
Roadhouse is real good. It also just made me realize I've not seen many
movies with Swayze Costner. Guy. Oh wait, no, I who are
you thinking of? I don't know why, but actually, in my head,
I am associating Kevin Costner and Patrick Swayze, I mean the same.
Yeah, probably it was Kurt Russell. No, I know who Kurt Russell
is. I've seen all his movies. Oh, I just thought you were
dumb. Oh speaking of Kurt Russell. And that leads me to the thing
fucking out of nowhere, the bartender halfway through the movie that they replace.
They've replaced the Bartender twice because one was skimming, one was not a good
temperament. All of a sudden, Keith David is the bartender. Yes,
yes, I told him. Man. I was like, I think that's
Keith David, and she's like, I don't think they'd introduced I don't think
they'd just like cast him in this Like the thing was Mary? What year
was the thing? That was? Early eighty two? I want to say,
yeah, so like Keith David was not Keith David was a known quantity.
It's like all of a sudden, Keith David has like six lines.
He was still largely like a character actor. I think like he had he
had a bigger role in the thing, but I think he was mostly kind
of a character actor at that point. I mean, they live like he
definitely had bigger roles and stuff, but he wasn't like, oh my god,
it's Keith David. He's gonna be on the poster. Yeah, I
guess. So it was. Yeah, it was funny because, like I
guess, John Carpenter just sees all the stars before they were starting. Yeah,
Keith David was he had a vision. I'm gonna be bummed when Carpenter
drives. I think all the best way, don't put that energy out into
the world. Let's every wait, let's figure out. I know who is
the coolest old person. John David Lynch seems like he's aging pretty like he's
still being pretty cool. But I feel like he wouldn't be super fun to
hang out with. Oh I always had lunch with David Lynch and he just
sounded like a weird old guy. Yeah, but that's how I want to
be is a weird old guy. But John Carpenter's weird and cool because he
plays video games. Is that the metric? Yeah? And he well also
he just loves getting paid for shit that he wrote like fifty years ago.
And he's just like any interview where he's talking about that stuff, he was
so happy and he's like, yeah, Okay, they say they want to
make another Halloween movie and I hold out my hand. They put a bunch
of money into it and I go home. The person who I truly,
you guys know, I'm my favorite band is Talking Heads. I'm assuming by
this point you know this Stop Making Sense, which Jonathan Demi wrote directed.
They're like one of the most influential, if not the most influential, like
concert films of all time, is getting remastered through four A and there or
is it Annapurna. No, it's four A and they're rereleasing it on in
theaters on my birthday and Imax. This year. We are away for a
wedding, which I'm pretty bummed about. Well, I mean, I'm really
excited for the wedding. It's two good friends of mine. However, I
am very much looking forward to going to see Stop Making Sense the week after.
David Byrne is the person who I will actually have a real rough week
when he dies and he's up there. I mean he's not he's not he's
not done. He's still making all kinds of shit now, David Byrne,
Yes, he would be like an art artsy type any one, he would
be an artsy type. What's old though? Is it eighties? I think
I think after seventy is like you're like old old, you know. I
think nowadays like five and you can be like, okay, he's I know,
but he doesn't seem old. If I know a cool I know,
a cool old guy who Jack Nicholson, Yeah, it's like old. He
seems like two weird going out with I don't know. I think I don't
think we have enough to go off of because the only thing you ever see
in Nicholson in the last like fifteen years, like post departed, all you
see Nick, it's just like here's a picture of him just looking grumpy in
the ocean at or at the Lakers games. Yeah yeah, yeah, earned,
you know, like he's earned it. I'm just saying we don't know
enough to know if he's cool still, I mean, what do you mean
still? Well, he was the coolest fucking dude like Nicholson was incredible,
But I don't know. Easy Rider, here's five easy pieces. He was
one flew over the coogi's nest. That dude was doing all the hints.
He did everything and now he's in the ocean. But yeah, we just
don't know if he's a cool old guy. We knew he was a cool
thirty forty fifty year old guy. We don't know if he's a cool old
guy. Like we need people confirmed or cool and old. I feel like
I've heard some bad stuff about him, no nor yeah, But like again,
this just comes down to, like what are we Like there might be
a lot of shit about John Carpenter. We don't know, Like we don't
know anything. I've never heard anything about I think he's more private, aside
from when he's tweeting about video games and making money. Like I don't know,
I don't I've heard no one say bad shit about Carpenter. I haven't
heard people say bad shit about I didn't hear people say bad shit about Bill
Cosby until they did all of a sudden, and there was a lot of
it kind of comes out still a staunch defender. Why did I bring that
up? You're right, I don't know. I don't unfortunate your best friend.
Yeah, sorry, okay him, you can't, Jake cut all this
walk right into that. I self saboteur just cool old people, Like,
is there anyone over eighty that's just like super duper cool? Still? Are
any of the Golden Girls still around? Betty died? I've never never seen
that show. Yeah, Gorden Girls is so good. I know there's a
woman named Blanche, a woman named There's a woman named Carrie, Miranda,
Samantha. All right, Charlotte. I looked up old celebrities and these are
the oldest living celebrities in two thousand twenty three. Nice David Attenborough from all
the BBC he's got, he seems awesome. I mean he's around animals,
sim so who knows what they let him get away with. But like he's
he's ninety six and I would love to talk to that guy. Dick Van
Dyke's alive somehow, He's not seven. I could have sworn he was dead.
Do you somehow alive? We're like Dick van Dunzo. Jimmy Carter is
alive as of now, might not be by the time this episode goes up.
Oh my god, this is Shark's alive? Is not cool. I've
heard Bob Barker's Oh yeah, that he's alive. Sark's ninety nine. Who
else is keep going? How old do you think you're gonna be when you
when you croaked? Dan? Either two or one hundred and seven, He's
got the exact years picked out. Not going to be a lot of in
between there. It's gonna be one or the other. I think I'm I
keep telling Amanda, I'm proud I one of them up. A woman,
a woman in a red gown, came to me one night and told me
I would die in a fire explosion. And I believed her. And it's
gonna happen at some point. I don't know how old I'm gonna be.
It could be one hundred seventeen, it could be thirty five. I'm gonna
die in a fire explosion, fire, both of your so soon? No,
I said, either one hundred and seventeen or thirty five. There's always
a chance that something crazy he's gonna happen. He's gonna hit by a train
or something. Explosion would be kind of cool, yeah, Like at my
funeral, Amanda would probably be sort of laughing during the eulogy, when like
I actually died in a fire explosion, and I've been telling her like weekly,
Then I'm going to die in a fire explosion. We're gonna put a
little fart machine in your casket. No, I'm not gonna have a casket.
I'm to be signs of life. There's not gonna be as I'm gonna
be burnt to a crisp. I'll be a piece of toast coming back.
No, no, no, here's no. Here's what I want to happen
to my funeral. I'm gonna tell you guys this. I'm gonna write it
down, relay this to my executor. You know. I want it to
be a Viking f started with I Mike of sound Mind. It look at
the camera. I Michael Mhardy of sound Mind, body and spirit. Will.
I require my funeral to take place in the Viking tradition on a ship
cast out into the ocean and thirty Atlantic from Marconi Beach on Cape Cod And
I want thirty five archers, each with a different element on their hero can
be one must be flame, one must be Earth, one must be moon,
one must be sun, one must be poison. One must be you
get the point. I'll write this down. Thirty five elements must strike me
simultaneously. They yeah, no, you you're not one of the archers.
You're you're yeah, your wedding. Can't I get a good spot at your
funeral? You must be piloting the boat. Oh no, okay, the
boat must have a pilot. I choose I have sound mind bodies require both
Dan Ryker and Mary Kish to be on the said boat with me alive?
Or isn't a Viking funeral? Doesn't the boat catch on fire? It catches
on fire, it catches on poison, it catches on earth, it catches
on moon. There's gonna be quite a lot of ship cancel right, I
don't know. Moon cancels Sun out. There's like some kind of three Stooges
syndrome where they can all get through the door. No, it's the thirty
fifth element that doesn't cancel out, because it's like it's like water, fire
cancel out grass. Yeah, I'm just doing Pokemon weaknesses, and it's the
thirty fifth element that might not cancel out. No. Electric cancels out with
earth, mime, mine cancels out with a megaphone. I think what's gonna
happen is that whatever the thirty fifth element is is gonna gonna be whatever like
makes the boat do stuff like it. Maybe it's dance and then the boat
gets up out of the water and I come back to life. Ratchen clank
weapons. Yeah, we're gonna dig a hole. We're gonna dig a shallow
hole and toss you insomniacs must be present at the wedding with a couple of
sticks, because we're gonna be too drunk to actually put the dirt over.
Your fingers will be sticking out, pulling me out of the wreckage of the
explosion and throw me in the dumpster. I don't care. Do whatever you
want with my body matter. I don't care. I won't be there.
Cut that part out, Well, this is what you want. Yeah,
I man, It was clearly edited. When he said I have sound mind,
bodying spirit to just throw me in a dumpster. I don't care what
happens to me. There was like a clear cut he shaved between the two
cuts. He has no, throw me in the dumpster. No, my
funeral will be sick. Yeah, that dumpster will be pretty cool. Speaking
of funerals, you guys want to talk about video games. The weird transition
just say yes, yes, Hey guys, did you know that science says
that we're dumber than children? I have heard that, yes, Okay,
well, apparently it's way harder to learn languages after you've grown up. But
because we can't go back to being sick no matter how much we try,
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in kind of a pusy if busy busy, we're in kind of a busy
pre fall release video game schedule. I'd say we're in a fun spot where
we're all playing Starfield, but we can't talk about it. Sorry, Yeah,
we cannot talk about that. This episode unfortunate. But there's plenty of
other stuff to talk about. By now Armored Cores six reviews are out,
we can talk about. Have you guys played Armored Corps six? No?
Everyone tells me, uh well, first of all, everyone tells me they
don't like it and also thinks that I would hate it. I was excited
to play it because I like from stuff, but apparently this one ain't for
a lot of people. I will say it takes a while as someone who's
never played another Armored Corps and who came on to with from software with Dark
Souls in two thousand nine or whatever it was. Armor Corps six took a
while to start feeling like a from Soft game, and I'm not I was.
I didn't go into it thinking, oh, this will immediately feel like
Elden Ring or Sakiro or you know, Dark Souls. But yeah, for
the first like three hours, it just felt like a pretty sleek mech basic
third person shooter game, Like, yeah, I had missiles on my shoulder,
I had a bazooka on my left hand, I had a burst rifle
in my right hand. I had a couple of cool boosts. I had
a dodge I had Yeah, like certain bosses were easier to beat with a
sword up in their face, but it took a while. I have heard,
and I'm saying this is someone who also got pretty bored with it early
on. I have heard from several co workers who really like it that later
on it gets much more into from Soft territory of Okay, you can't beat
this boss. He's fucking I possible, And by he, I mean it's
like a fucking giant machine helicopter mech you're getting your ass kicked. All your
instincts are steering you wrong. There are other ways. You go back to
the garage, you do a few of the arena challenges, et cetera,
which give you money to get new weapons, which you then experiment within set
arena again, and then you go back after having kind of mastered those,
and then you're like, oh wait, this is very counterintuitive. But it
is like Orange Steen and Smoke from Dark Souls. It's like, oh wait,
one of them I really want to get up close and personal with the
other. I want to kind of keep my distance from I have not gotten
to the point where Armored Corsis feels like that kind of panned pattern recognition experimentation.
I knew. It's extremely linear. It's like it's like metal gear rising
in the sense that you're jumping into these missions to do or not metal You're
rising sorry, like peace Walker, Yes, you're jumping into these like these
missions, and it's very like paramilitary, hyper capitalistic. It's like, hey,
you don't need to know who you're killing, just go go fuck him
up. Apparently you get farther into it and you can go read Mike McWhorter
as his view up on Polygon. I have not played nearly as much as
him. Apparently it becomes a from Soft game certain number of hours in,
or at least what most of us would recognize as a from Soft game,
since starting with you know, Souls Borns. They're not trying to be one
of those games per se. But I think a lot of people who are
excited for Armor Courts six is oh the next from software games since elden Ring
might be a bit bored at first, Like I was, feels pretty good
up front, I just got real bored. What about like something like so
from is you know, there's a lot of beauty in the art design,
both in the world and the characters and bosses and things like that. Like,
obviously this is a very different setting. This is mex and not fucking
like crazy you know, tree demons and stuff. Yeah, it's a plan
I have that personality. Is this the same team as elden Ring? The
similar so Miyazaki I think like Kick started the project and handed off to people
he trusted, you know, he and several other designers, higher up designers.
But I mean, by definition, the world it's set on is being
harvested. It's being fought over by a bunch of different paramilitary corporations for Coral,
which is like it's mcguffin's substance that powers everything, so it's war torn
it. I think that's where Metal Gear Rising Revengees comes in. It's like,
oh, it's supposed to look or like guns the Patriots before you get
to the Prague chapter or whatever it is, it's like, it's supposed to
look pretty fucked up. I wouldn't say the the art style, at least
as much as I've played, is particularly striking. I don't know if that
changes later on. Everything I'm doing is in a ruined city. Everything's gray
metal. I get where. I get what you're asking, because, yeah,
Elden Ring, even like some of the gross stuff Blood Born, even
some of the more love crafty and stuff, is incredibly designed. I feel
like Armored Corps six, the point of it is to look. Everything's purpose
is to either blow something up or be blown up, and it's tough to
make a vibrant environment with that. I don't think there's gonna be like this
really expansive color palette at play. Maybe later in the game will surprise me.
I am still playing it on and off between everything else, but everything
my coworkers tell me, it's like, yeah, if you're getting bored,
you know, that's fine. But if you stick with it, it does
start to reveal some subtleties and some complexities in the actual experimentation with new parts
on each of you limbs, because you're you're outfitting your right shoulder blade,
your left shoulder blade, your right arm, your left arm. Some of
them are melee weapons, some of them are shields, some of them are
missiles, some of them are burst rifles, bazookas, et cetera. And
then later on you could start messing with your legs a bit, so you're
not always bipedal. So it's a slow burn. Apparently, I personally,
as we'll get to in a bit, have some other stuff I'm really fucking
enjoying much more. Uh, maybe I'll go back to it when I kind
of want something that is initially mindless and then reveals itself to be much bigger
than my first impression. But so far, our armor Core six is kind
of bored me and kind of you're hearing that, Yeah, that's that's a
shame, because I did feel some like it's excitement. It's a good problem
to have where it's like, oh my god, there's all these big games
coming out at once, and I want to try all these. And then
I kept hearing things about Armored Core and thinking like, okay, maybe maybe
I'll right that at some point, but I am no longer worried about like,
oh, which game am I gonna play? Here? Like okay,
yeah, I don't think this is the game that's going to hook you right
away and pull you away from everything else going on. I think it's more
uh, And I like to be clear, like Mecca stuff never really does
much for me to begin with, so admittedly maybe I'm not the target audience.
The closest I've got to that kind of stuff is like Tight and Fall
two, which was the most mainstream applicable mech combat kind of game ever.
No. I like Mac Warrior, I liked on Battle Tech, but those
are like turn based strategy games. I don't know. I really do want
to go back and give it more time, because everything I'm hearing from some
co workers who have gotten like ten fifteen, twenty five hours in or like
trust me, it gets incredible, and I'm like, all right, you
know, when I when I can find ying that time, I will get
there. I just god, there's there's a lot. There are a lot
of other games, you know, which is not a fault of Armored Corps
sixth. There are a lot of other games releasing that, some of which
are also really fucking boring me. Uh well, maybe we'll talk about that
next episode, but others that are more really holding my attention. But anyway,
I feel like I've been hogging the mic, Dan, what have you
been playing? I mean, the only I've been playing outside of Starfield and
Moving has been Immortals of Wabium. I played it for a Giant Bomb quick
look and one of those games where I played it for the quick look and
got that out the door and we'll never think of it again post this conversation.
It is h It's for spoken tone, dialogue, story type stuff like
we're magic youngsters and there's evil a foot, you know, and it's just
i'member the very first like they're like very basic dial log decisions you can make,
and one of the very first, I think it's it is the very
first one you make is somebody says something when the other character says, oh,
what kind of message does that send? And you have three options.
You can say a boss one or the I'm evil kind or that sandracks an
asshole, and it's like a it's just a bunch of like snarky teenagers saying
snarky stuff about magic, evil guys and stuff. It's it's the four spoken
like oh no, I gottam fighting freaking dragons. It's I just it's kryptonite
to me. I can't fucking do that. It's that said, the actual
like running around and shooting like you know, it's the hand magic stuff.
You know, you're swapping between these different powers and you've got like a green
one or red one, a blue one. You can level up all of
them and it is very snappy. There's no ammo management or anything like that,
so you don't have to worry about that. It's almost like a doom
Maternal where if it was just kind of idiot proof, where doom Maternal you
had to think about like Okay, I need this much fuel for my chain,
I need this thing here. Okay, I'm out of this, so
I need to go to this. This one is like okay, you can
just swap between whatever you want at all times and there's no you have to
like reload your hand to like you know, get your AMMO back or whatever.
But it gives you a million powers right away. Most of them are
pretty snappy and fun. But like the world, the world and the quest
design, it's all very you know, twenty twelve, twenty thirteen Xbox three
sixty campaign stuff. There's just not a lot going on there that you haven't
seen a million times before. The combat struck me as like fast paced ghost
wire Tokyo. Just it's hands. Some of the do some of that,
and then like the puzzles are very just like modern God of War where it's
like here's there's three things in the environment, hit him and then this thing
will open like that chest still pop up and it's great. Okay. Oh
the big tweak and this one is that like one will be read, one
will be blue, and one will be green. I wonder which hand I
use for each one. So it's just it's it's nothing about it is super
terrible. Maybe outside like the tone to me personally, but there's is nothing
memorable either. That's a shame. It doesn't sound like something I've really heard
anyone talk about either. Yeah, I have no intention of touching it.
It's a it's like a six point five out of ten. I would say,
Mary, what's something you've been enjoying? Bring us back up, bring
us back up. Well, this game isn't new, but new to game
pass is the entire Frog Detective series and I played it with my mom.
She was the detective and I played all other roles it. What is your
mom's history with games prior to this? Not a lot. It was funny
when we were playing. I was like, Mom, you know I like
to play games, and she's like yes, And I was like, what
games did I play? And she was like, well, you played Game
of War. Game of War with Marco Phenis. If she knew any part
of his name, I would have been really impressed. Mark markam Penis.
I know you liked Game of War. And then she said, and don't
you play Dodo? And I was like, you mean Doda? No,
sounds like someone I would get along with. She doesn't care about like games
like that, but she plays a lot of Solitaire and she's interested in like
my interests. So I figured she would like Frog Detective because it's very much
like reading a book. It's like you meet characters, you listen to them.
You solve a very simple crime and it's wholesome and kind of cute and
fun. As she loved it. She was all in on Frog Detective.
Okay, so pro Frog. The whole trilogy's on game pass. I believe
so, and I think there's like even more possibly, but I know there's
at least we play the first chapter. It was like a ghost Island and
it's very cute. It's a very wholesome game. I would say it's almost
too simple, where like you should play it with a kid or when you're
really drunk. It does not require a lot of thought, but it's were
you drunk. I was drinking, I was with my mom and the drunk
I'm drinking. I'm not drunk, I'm drinking. Hey, I'm not on
a dirt bro Rando. Oh. You know another song that I forgot to
bring up during our when we were asking if we knew country songs was Country
Country Girl by Luke Bryan. It's like country girls, Shake it for me,
girl. I know every word to it, and I hate that.
What context were you hearing these? On the last episode we talked about what
contexts were you hearing? Like Luke Bryan's country year. Olscuse, there's a
decent At least when I was in you know, high school college years,
there were a number of people that were really into country music. When my
country music, I mean the pop country Luke Bryan was coming up. So
funny that like, over the course of two weeks you were like, I
really should have mentioned that song about the country girl sho was so that you
had and a completely unrelated topic to make sure we knew that you knew country
girls. Shake it for me, just needed you to know that every once
in a while I get belt out a real good country girl, and uh,
I could not. I haven't been sleeping well that you guys knowing that,
I'm thank you for telling me so. Frog Detective is a pretty wholesome
game where you just saw very simple crimes that are not stressful or dangerous,
and everyone is friendly. There's almost never murder. It's usually like I wish
that this other character would notice me, but I don't think they will because
I'm too shy. I want to learn a dance move to help them,
and then you like figure out a dance move to help them. What was
the crime most heinous crime anyone in Frog Detective did well. The one I
saw was there was a ghost on an island because they could hear howling,
and so it was about figuring out the ghost situation. The ghost isn't inherently
evil, right, well, that's the thing. Nobody really gets to speak
for the ghosts. So the crime was really humanity judging the ghost. I
believe that Frog Detective is an allegory for the way that we place blame as
a society indeterminately to deflect from our internal anguish. That's about the Bay of
Pigs. Yeah, I place blame pretty justly. I would say, just
what a wonderful ad, just letting people know I always think I've ever done
anything wrong in my life. I always place blame whence it behooves to be
playing, I'm saying weird words, blame last worth, I deem it appropriate,
and the hammer of justice falls swiftly and it is good. You know,
Like, I've seen you blame people for things, and I've seen you
disliked people. But I gotta say I think your barometer is pretty good.
I've never seen you be like, hey, that guy definitely did like last
time I saw you. Wait, sorry, what say the last thing you
blamed your cat for a fart that you did, like last time I saw
it. I blame that's because they're not gonna Yeah, well, like hate
things in situations. But I think every time he's like ranting about something,
I'm like, yeah, I can see where he's coming from. Yeah.
No, people, I think I'm a good judge of people. Yeah,
I think you are too. Oh my god. You mean because you don't
like me and you want to kill me, and you're wrong because I'm perfect?
Whatever is more common? Mike? What else have you played? What
else have you been playing? Shadow? Gambit, the Cursed Crew? Have
you ever heard a worst name for a video game? I think it's gonna
go on our Goadie list for names. In fact, I don't know if
you guys know that I did that, but I started it. Which,
by the way, Mary, you fucking lied on our Twitter. What was
it you did? Look straight up, Fabrica, Yes, you fucking I
did not. Why are you say? God read it? The embargo is
up. Now I can talk about what I was talking about. You said,
Dan just started our Game of the Year twenty twenty three lists so we
could add the category for worst game. No, I said, we should
do a category called worstne because I was playing Immortals of Baby and I was
like, this shit fucking sucks. I didn't see that added a category called
worst tone and I put forth spoken and Immortals of Baby on it, and
you tweeted I said worst game. Oh wow, that must have riled some
people up. I did not see that happen. I wasn't even listening.
I think I saw you say word and I was like, oh, Mary
just admitting that she a doesn't listen and b doesn't really pay attention to what
she herself posts on our Twitter tweet. Absolutely not. I didn't really hear
you, but you know I projected it to the masses. I respond to
that, and people are saying like, oh, dang, Starfield's really not
hitting. Huh. Oh, Starfield's that bad huh. It's like, oh,
I guess Dan's hating AC six. No, oh my god. This
is when people I'm not gonna get into this. Are we're blaming me for
the way that the public respond No, no, no, no, no,
that's funny I'm talking about. I love how the public tries to like
be in on the joke and act like they know what the funk we're talking
about. No, I mean, I don't even know we're talking about.
And I'm on a tweet a day. There's no specific game. It was
just Marry delusionally posting something. Sometimes there's no logic to what's happening. Shadow
Game at the Curse Crew awful name, absolutely incredible video game. If your
call. I believe it was two years ago. During our Game of the
Year talks, I brought up Desperado's three. Yeah, the Wild West Stealth
Tactics game. I described it as if you took Metal Gear Solid or hit
Man World of Assassination, whatever, the trilogy, whatever you want to call
it, zoomed out to an isometric kind of bird's eye view perspective and just
controlled these characters from from on high. They did Desperados three, which is
Wild West. They did Shadow Tactics, which was Feudal Japan. So this
is their third game. The developers MEMI Games. I think they're French.
It could be wrong. Based on the I'm based I have no idea.
I'm basing that on the voice over I heard in a recent Shadow Tactics video.
Shadow Tactics is Undead Pirates, all Pirates of the Caribbean see if thieves
kind of humor. You get a crew of I believe there are six characters
you can unlock and you're doing like it's it's vision cones, it's each of
the six characters has very different powers as opposed to Desperados three and Shadow Tactics,
which was very Dishonored two or Hitman in the sense that you would unlock
the next location and then you go in and replay it as much as you
want. This is more just like an alternate reality Caribbean c with I don't
know how many islands. There are maybe close to a dozen, and you
can go to each one and they each have their own locations using Hitman terminology
in them. You go into these locations and in order to recruit new party
members, you are trying to get these black pearls, which will revive these
undead pirate legends who then join your crew. But holy fucking shit, Like,
I love stealth games, I love tactical games. I love games with
like really stark character design, and Shadow Tactics is just kind of delivering on
all three fronts and their level design is up there with Dishonored two, hit
Man three, Metal Gear Solid pick any of those games. These are some
pretty incredible top down stealth tactical maps you're playing in. Like there's already there
are already two areas in Shadow Tactics that are on I would say with my
favorite hit Man World of Assassination locations. So have we We've talked about this.
I think my three favor If I had to pick three hit Man World
of Assassination locations, I would go, I really Sepienza is like the crowd
pleaser, but I have to agree with everybody. Sepienza is really good.
I really, really, really fucking like Berlin the Club and what would my
third be probably Paris the Fashion Show. There are already two locations in Shadow
Tactics, and I have only played, from what I can understand, twenty
percent of the game that are like rivaling those as some of my favorite level
designs ever in my life. This game is that good. I'm crazy.
You don't. You don't evoke the Hitman levels that are Yeah. Level design
is like the thing I geek out about in game design, and Mimi me
sence Shadow Tactics with like their feudal Japanese castles. They're wild West saloon towns.
They have just been nailing it in terms of these they look like they're
like dioramas you're peering into and you're just like doing stealth missions with g I
Joe's and it's fucking unreal. Like you're you are you pick three characters per
mission within these islands, and you're returning to islands to do other parts of
the island and then replay certain areas when you want to recruit new characters.
But the humor and the character abilities are all just combining to the point where
you are, like, there's a character who she carries around a huge cannon
on her back. You would say, how does that work in a stealth
game? She just walks up to an enemy who's patrolling an area and kind
of just like thunks the cannon on top of them, puts it back on
her back so their feet are dangling out, and then she can launch them
or an ally ally or enemy to like a spot within her range on the
map. There's another character who can possess enemies. There's another character who can
he's basically like the ship's botanist, So can someone can just sprout bushes in
the middle of like say, there are three enemies with vision cones that are
coming back into this one clearing. The botanist can sprout bushes in the middle
of that clearing for someone to crouch and go into and hide. It works
even better that like Desperado's three with their Wild West characters was pretty still kind
of going for a bit more of a serious tone, this is just much
more comedic literally so, because the games are very much like Balder's Gate three
based around quick saving and quick loading. The Red Marley, the ship you're
on that you're rebuilding as your headquarters throughout the game. Its power is to
rewind time, so anytime you quick load a save, they'll be like,
I used the ship power again, did a guard spot you weren't expecting.
It's like, it sounds cheesy, but it actually like they're using it as
an in universe way to make you feel okay with the fact that you are
reloading saves every thirteen seconds, Like fuck, that guy's vision cone was way
longer than I thought it would be, or well, shit, this kind
of guard the invisibility doesn't work on him, or he can. He's like
a manager and hitman. He can recognize when I'm impersonating someone he knows that
this guy's is bullshit. I'm like, fuck, I forgot, I didn't
pay attention last mission, quick load, and then the character will be like,
hey, you fucked up again. Whatever, get after it, go
go do it again. It is just it might be. It is,
of all the games I'm playing right now, probably the one game I can't
stop thinking about and I want to go back to, and it's making me
want to replay Desperado's Three, Shadow tax Tactics, et cetera. But like
God, it came out at a terrible time with all these other games.
I never heard of this, but I'm looking at it, and on Steam
it's overwhelmed, overwhelmingly positive reviews. People seem to be, well, shit,
so I hit So I'm playing mouse and keyboard because that's how I played
Desperado's Three and Shadow Tactics, both of which are still incredible. And if
you get the chance, like it's literally Dan to your tastes. Imagine Metal
Gear solid like the VR missions but zoomed out. Mary. Imagine. I
mean, I know you both love hit Man, but imagine hit Man World
of Session Assassination Trilogy zoomed out. They're like these clockwork worlds. Then each
of these character with their special abilities are fucking with it and you're trying these
different objectives. You're trying these emergent situations. We're like, oh, right,
she can dash across an expanse like blink like in dishon or two,
and then stab somebody. He can possess somebody. He can make a noise.
It attracts people, but it only attracts their vision, so they're not
going to move, so that helps me get this character behind them. It's
it's it's so up my like it's so up like three different alleys of mine
that I hesitate to recommend it to everybody. But oh my god, I
fucking love this game. And the humor is not cheesy. It's not forced.
It's like you could tell the developers we're just having fun with everything.
It's like a lot of times I hate that fourth wall breaking shit. Like
if in any other game they were like, oh you just quick quick loaded,
like shame on you. It's like no, it's like it makes sense
because the redmar they're like, they're like, hey, you're back. That
dude's a dick, go go go fuck them up. That I don't know,
it works really well. And it's funny that the quick the f fiv
ing and f aiding is reminding me of a Baller's Gate three because I'm doing
that so much in that game. But shadow tactics saves coming. Yeah,
shadow tactics is just base surround it because you're really trying to use each of
the character's abilities. Also, last thing I'll say before I stop ranting,
you get it's either six or eight characters, but again, on missions,
you can bring three of them. One of the biggest achievements of the game
that I don't know how me Me Me pulled off is I have yet to
bring a specific team comp on a mission, and I've done twelve missions at
this point. I think somewhere on these like beach cliff sides, some are
in these like pirate towns, somewhere in these like supernatural temples. I have
yet to bring a trio that I felt like the game did not account for.
The game is just constantly like, yeah, go experiment with the woman
with a cannon under back and the botanist and the guy who can impersonate people.
Use them. You'll have just as much luck, or you'll have just
as many options as if you brought the person who's more of a sharpshooter,
etc. It's it's I don't know that. It's just like they might be
one of the most talented, knowledgeable studios working today that I want to say.
They don't get enough credit. Obviously, Stealth Tactics is a very niche
genre, but they're They're up there with like Io Interactive Arcane in terms of
level design. Even Sniper Elaite five, which I talked about last year,
which had an incredible level design. Shadow Tactics despite its bad name uh and
bad timing is people should check it out. If any of that sounds up
your alley, it is just extremely well crafted video game. I can't It's
all I'm thinking about when I'm not playing other stuff for work purposes. Dang,
I'll bring it up in December for sure. Again. Yeah, yeah,
I gotta get I have not talk to Jake about it yet, but
I know he likes stuff like that too. But like, yeah, just
imagine Hitman bird's eye view. You're controlling a team of three people with different
abilities, and it's that's the general elevator pitch. I'll give listeners nice,
but Mary, you have been playing more Baller's Gate three correct, I played
a little. Yeah, I played more Ballder's Gate three this weekend, and
I'm loving it. I think it's it's incredible, like just all the nuance
to the characters and how when you approach a situation. It's completely different from
everyone I've talked to, Like the first area, some people are saying like
people are frozen when they're getting there, and like it just seems like there's
a lot of different ways to play it and handle a situation. I think
it's really fun to be able to utilize your skills to solve it the way
you want to. And because I have like Elf and uh sorcery, I'm
constantly using my magic and intuition to solve things and it's just really fun.
Balder's Gate is great. I don't know if I have much more to add
that we didn't already say last week or last episode, but it's it's such
a good game. It's it's incredible. Are you still what is your like
go to part party you're rolling with? Are you playing this co op?
I'm playing co op, which makes it harder to decide the people that I'm
gonna play with. Are you playing with one of the person and then adding
the two AI. Yes, I add a couple. AI. What A
what? AI? Are you gravitating toward companions? I should say, uh,
let's see, I've been mixing them up, which I'm not sure if
that's what you should be doing, but I keep going back for inventory Management's
annoying as hell when you're mixing them up. But it's like, that's what
I want to do more often than not. But it I mentioned this last
episode. One of my chief complaints is they still have not really addressed the
easiest way to share really cool loute. You're picking up between characters who are
not currently in your party. I wish they would add something like that.
But Astarian and Lazelle and shadow Heart, am I go to companions killed all
of them right at the beginning. Astarian is annoying to me. I know
everybody loves Sar, but I like shadow Heart. Sorry so you don't like
a Starian. I just think he's a lot and I feel like he's he's
nagging me all the time. I like you, No, he likes me.
I just think he treats people he likes like crap. Like I think
he's always like you wish you were. That isn't it hot? Though?
Are you not into that? I guess not. Come on, Mary,
get into that with me? Why starting getting Sorry? Sorry? I was
the PERV situation. That was my cat. We're in a PERV situation.
We're in a PURV situation. Seventeen terrorists have invaded a house in Portland,
Oregon. There's one man leading them. He's brandishing a knife, he says,
Mary love a Storian like I do. And then he's charging the house
and jumping at it Dick First and shouting, this house won't let me in.
I mean, look, whenever you jump at anything, it's it's got
to be Dick First, right, if you're a villa like, that's the
first thing. That's why I would write in my novel. And there he
was Dick First. It's a good porn star name Dick First First. Private
Eye. Yeah, the first Frog detective series I've ever played. Dick First,
Private Eye, Dick First, and his Private's Eye, Private Dick Private.
The Curse of the Whore Island Shadow. That was the That was the
first title that mebe Me tried with that game. They got turned down by
the publisher. No, we won't publish a game called Whore Island. It's
a stealth tactics. Remember Desperados three. We wanted to call that fuck Nuts
Extravaganza. You'll be sorry, Uh Mary, what else have you been playing?
I played a little bit of Amnesia Bunker. Yeah, New Amnesia.
It's really scary and very well on. Love the concept of it that you're
in a bunker and uh, this might shock you. So you're in a
bunker. Dan looks like he's like concentrating on saying, you're in a bunker
and there's only one way out and you need to like have an explosion.
So I have to find like TNT and I have to find handles that I
can push down the TNT, you know, like wildly coyote. And so
you're like running around, but the whole area has a monster in the rafters
and he can find you based on noise. And just like in the original
Amnesia, how they wouldn't give you enough matches and this one they give you
a flashlight that's operated by a pulse string and it makes a noise when you
pull it mechanic. Yeah, so you're constantly like pulling this flashlight to have
power because it's really scary in the dark, but every time you do it,
you're like, and then the monster's like you can hear him in the
floor running around, and he's really scary looking, so it's like you versus
the darkness essentially. You can also get gas canisters that turn on the electricity
like the lights in the area, but again very scary. Not enough gas,
let me tell you, there is not enough gas in that game,
and so you're just constantly winding up your flashlight trying to get through. It's
absolutely terrifying. I'll probably play more of it, especially during spooky season,
which we're getting into. Summer's over. I just called it's Spooptober. We're
getting into it. Scary games. No, sorry, I'm sorry it'd be
the person tell you this, but this is Halloween, it's happening, and
I'm getting really excited about playing scary games again. I've already picked out my
costume. I've I've bought bats on Amazon. It's happening live bats, no
like plastic ones that I can hang from the side. We Yeah, it's
bat season, so I bought some on Amazon today shipping. The coolest thing
about the bunker that when I realized I really like this game. They don't
have a an in game map that's like just a pause screen. It is
only you can only see maps in the save rooms, where the generators also
are. Yeah, so the game is very much based like early resid evils,
around save rooms where it's you know, safe, but also where you
can refill generators to power the electricity which is constantly running out. But again
you kind of have to do those risk reward decisions where it's like, well,
fuck, I know where that one room is, but I really don't
want to charge my flashlight even though it's dying and I'm pretty sure I hear
the monster an event near me like Alien Isolation. But the maps are on
the wall. It's World War One. It's not like you have everybody's mapped
out. The bunkers were all rapidly made during World War so it's not like
they have maps on their like quarterback wristbands or anything. So it's a look
at the map on the wall kind of memorize the route you want to take,
at least at the point of the game I got to. I didn't
finish it midley, but you see the map on the wall, You're like,
okay, fuck, it's gonna be a right and then a left,
and then it's straight, and then of course potentially you also have a gun
that will not kill the monster, but will like stun it for a bit,
less and less as the game goes on. But it's like, all
right, right, left, right, left, and hopefully there's gas in
that room where I can see a room on the map, and then you're
getting close to it, the monster comes out and you're like, well,
fuck, I guess I might as well fire my gun because I'm close to
where the gasoline might be. The way that game fucks with your decision making
faculties is really cool, and that series, that developer of the Chinese Room
has done that really well for a while. Yeah. I don't know if
The Bunker is their best game, but it's really fucking good. Jake was
the one who's like, have you played this yet? I was like no,
He's like, jump on it, try it out. I like it
quite a bit like Amnesia as a series is. I was thinking about this
recently because Caleb and my sister was talking about wanting to play some like scary
games for Halloween season, and I thought about Amnesia and how fucking terrifying that
was when it first came out, But then I know there have been like
oh, the Amnesia Collection, there's Amnesia Rebirth, and like I don't know
which one is, Like are the remakes? Like if you were to play
Amnesia for the first time in twenty twenty three and wanted to be a scary
experience, what is the go to? Honestly, I yeah, I was
gonna see. The original is still really fucking good. Like I have not
kept up with the series in a way that I maybe should have. The
Bunker is really good as well. Like, I think the Bunker might connect
with a lot of modern game design sensibilities like inventory. Man, there's a
lot of inventory management a Mary and I haven't touched on, like certain supplies.
There's not just your flashlight and gun. There's also like certain rations,
certain supplies in your inventory. I think the Bunker kind of actually modernizes it
the series in a way that works really well for modern palettes. Honestly,
the Bunker might be your best bet. It's the most modern version, yeah,
because the original one might be. I haven't played it in a long
time, so the Bunker is thought of a lot of It does have some
issues, but I think for a scary game, it immediately just as like,
here's a terrifying situation, like good luck. The only thing that really
stresses me about the Bunker is like I feel like I need a helper because
I'm not good at memorizing places on a map I have and have not been
to. And I got stuck a couple of times, like going to the
same rooms again and again and again because I'm I'm not reading the map correctly,
and it's like in Resident Evil. I think I would have also gotten
frustrated if Mike wasn't constantly like, oh, you missed a room, go
back to go to the fourth door, that's where you want to go,
Like Mike would help me out of situations where I'd get frustrated. Oh it's
a far cry from like Isaac Clark putting a laser on the floor to say,
go here's my style. Yeah, yeah, it's I honestly don't know
what kind of options the Bunker has to avoid those I get that wouldn't be
the ideal situation for everybody. I personally liked it as someone who I really
like when a game is like removes as much UI as possible and makes a
lot of it. I hate the term sounds like stuck up, like diagetic,
you know, like it makes sense in universe. But I can also
one thousand percent see if you're not like the best with a sense, like
innate sense of direction, that would fucking suck. This game is like the
worst game to play if If that's the case, so I can I can
empathize for sure. Yeah, but it's still good though, very scary and
very effective, terrifying situation to put me in. So it did its job.
Yeah, I like it. What else have you been planning? Those
shadow technics? I I'm not I'm not gonna I go on all the time
about Total War on this podcast. I have a review for its newest DLC.
It's up on Polygon. Go read it. I'll mention it at the
end of this episode. Two bare bare essentials of that review or that there's
been a lot of controversies swirling around that DLC with pricing creative assembly. The
developer has maintained the same price for DLC even though you compare it to previous
DLC's at that price. And I am the last I really hate assigning like
value to money to hours spent because like one person's ten hours is another person's
twenty hours is another person's. Like one person might find that worth fifty dollars,
another person might think that's a bit steep, et cetera. But like,
there's been a lot of controversies swirling around that DLC. But I played
it, and even outside of that, it was kind of unimpressive. But
go read my thoughts on Polygon. And then I also spoke to a couple
of the creators of Warhammer forty k Rogue Trader. Again, any Warhammer game
just kind of has the curse of a very long belabored name. Just know
that Warhammer forty k Rogue is the CRPG, the upcoming CRPG. They don't
have a solid release date yet, But if you're enjoying Balder's Gate three,
it is that kind of RPG, but in the Warhammer forty k universe.
Sci fi. But even if you're not into Warhammer, it's sci fi.
It's like grim sci fi everything I see of it. I played a bit
more of the beta, which is out now on Steam. I honestly think
that game could not be launching at a better time. You know, like
you got Walter's Gate three, kind of making this the year of role playing
games. Starfield is going for this. You know, Bethesda's got its new
take on the role playing genre coming out in a few days. But then
Henry cavill has signed on New Warhammer forty k Amazon show. I just can't
imagine Rogue Trader launching at a better time, assuming they do within the next
six months. That has not been confirmed yet, but that game so far
is really fucking cool. Party building is you know, party building in inventory
management are some of my favorite things, and that that game is going for
it with a forty k universe. But yeah, that's all on Polygon nothing
else thoughts. The last one for me, but I haven't played too much
of it, is The Cosmic Wheel Sisterhood. It's a Tarot Devolver building game
by Devolver. I have a loving history with Revolvers, so I usually play
almost anything that they release. This game is a delight to look at.
It's absolutely gorgeous and it is very well written. I will acknowledge early on
that it is talkie as This is a game for people who are interested in
tarot or witchcraft or like telling future and things like that. If that's not
your jam, you're not gonna like this game. That's literally all it is.
But it is neat in the sense that it puts you in a really
cool that the concept of the game is really neat. You're essentially a witch
that's been cast on a rock in the universe alone for a thousand years as
punishment for telling the future in a way that you should not have. And
so you're punished by like being alone, and they remove your tarot deck,
and then a like celestial being comes to you and is like, I want
to help you build a new deck, which is not I guess like not
allowed, but you start building your own deck from scratch. So in this
game, if you're interested in tarot readings, you obviously do taro readings and
you learn about the best ways to make tarot and tell a story. What
I think is also neat about it is you build your deck and it gives
you photoshop esque a bill at ease. So maybe you'll pick a snake,
or you'll pick like a like a pregnant person and flowers, and then you
will build the card the way you think it would look on your own deck.
So you get to build the card to your visual likeness, and then
later someone will be like Hey, tell my fortune, and you will pull
cards from the deck you just made, that you just designed, and that
will help tell that person's fortune and move the story along. It's pretty interesting.
I don't always get into that kind of stuff, but I think it
was absolutely. It's just stunningly written. It's very thoughtful, it's cheeky and
interesting. The characters are pretty dynamic. Again, the premise of being stuck
on a rock alone for a thousand years is punishment for something I did makes
it pretty mad. And so they ask you early on, like do you
want revenge? And I was immediately like, yes I do, and like
I immediately took on the role of this witch that's been harmed and essentially wants
to get revenge on the people who harmed me. So I think it's neat.
I don't think it's for everybody, just because of the very unique nature
of this and again how insanely talky it is kind of can push you out
a little bit, but it's kept me interested for as long as it is.
It also goes back and passed as my like human life back on Earth,
which I think is interesting. I built a pizza in one scene,
so they mix it up and let you be like artistic in addition to letting
you tell fortunes. It's neat. It's a cool concept. I like it.
Yeahs deconstruct team I believe made it it. I'm always up for like
a new take on like deck building, rogue light elements, but I haven't
tried it out yet. Do you do tarot card reading? You? I
have a deck. I really do not do it like ever. I think
I probably do it once a year with some buds. But when I do
do it, we try and get into it and have fun with it and
make an evening of it. So it's it's fun to do. But I
would not consider myself an enthusiast or someone who does it seriously seriously. Yeah,
like I enjoy it as like a hobbyist. And if you, I
guess like tarot card readings are, is the basic gist of this is someone
who has never really gone into it. You have a deck, shuffle it
up, you lay it out on a grid, and then you kind of
interpret them and make a story based on how they've landed. Is that the
general just? Or am I butchering it completely? Say it one more time?
You're like shuffling your tarot deck. You're laying them out on a grid,
yep, whether it's three by three or whatever. Yeah, where the
cards fall, their orientation has a big part to do with it. And
are you just like kind of making a story out of it. I know
there are probably deeper meanings to a lot of the stuff happening. I'm kind
of just curious though, because a lot of the movies and shows i've like
go into that and I never understand it. It is interesting the way they
designed it so that you get some choice in the tarot card reading, and
it also alludes to the idea that yes, the person who is dealing and
saying this has a huge amount of say and whether or not your fortune is
like positive, neutral, or negative, and how you handle that is really
self reflective. So in one of them, a person comes to visit me
and she says, you can do my future if you do yours in the
same poll, and I was like, okay, And so just like you
said, they give me two blank card spaces, one for her future and
one for mine, and I pull a card and I'm allowed to decide if
she gets it or I get it. Now, this is really interesting because
no card is ultimately evil, right, Like, there's no card that's like
the death card, right Like all cards have positive and negative effects to them,
but where I determine to place that card will give me the outcomes of
the fortunes. So if I give it, if I have a card that's
mostly about giving and respect and like love, and I give it to her,
she's probably going to have more options for a positive fortune. But I
could also give it to myself, so I get all these options. But
even when I do give it to her, usually it will give me different
fortunes that I can tell her based on my interpretation of the card. So
one of them might be, hey, you're gonna be you're pregnant, or
another one is is you're going to get you're going to be in a war
and you're going to make a huge faction that's going to change the game.
And I pulled another card once that was nothing you do matters, like don't
worry about it, which is which is a crazy fortune to give someone Literally
nothing that you do in life matters, so like I would just not worry
about it. And I played that and the person was like sick, I
don't care, and then like like drank and was like, I'm over it.
So you get to choose the card, but you also get to choose
your interpretation of the card, and you get to and it apparently alters the
direction, right because this character the premise of the game is that all of
my fortunes do come true. So if I interpret a card that Dan will
die, he does die. But it's my choice whether or not. I
choose the card and play it for Dan, and then I interpret it positively,
negatively neutrally for him. So I have a lot of say and like
what's happening to these characters? So that sounds like it needs to allow for
quite a few branching paths. I haven't gotten that far yet, but it's
very alluring so far of like what well, but I mean, if you're
flipped a card that, like, if you interpret it as a way that
like X character is gonna die and that happens, wouldn't that potentially be super
different than what someone else has played the game? Yeah, it's definitely.
Uh, it definitely will change based on first to person for all those different
different pieces. I don't get a lot of options for like death. I
could say most of the options are things like Most of the options are things
like you're gonna get fired or you're gonna get promoted, like they're not that
dramatic, but there has been ones that are like that's it, gotcha.
Yeah. Nicole Carpenter Polygon wrote about that. She liked it. Yeah,
the writing is great. It's just a matter of whether or not you like
tarot. Have you ever gotten your Fortune? Red? Dan? You got
your fortune? Red? I remember that a few times. Jake Decker in
Belgium, done in the New Orleans a couple of times. Jackson Square,
Yeah, yeah, I haven't done a few times. What did they I
put no actual stock into anything. I don't believe any of that, but
it's a fun, silly thing to do. What did the guy in Belgium
say to you? So I got the like nine of Swords card, which
was apparently like the fucking worst ever, but it was in my past slot.
So basically she was saying like, oh, okay, so you went
through some shit. This shit sucked, but then like the ones going forward,
we're better. And then like my My Future one, which is like
Harmony one where it's like a guy with I forgot what the name of the
card is. It's it's a guy in a lady holden hands in there.
You see their backs and she was like, oh yeah, so you know
you you got past this hard nine of swords stuff and now your future is
harmony and you found a good spot and everything and things are looking up going
forward. So that's good. Nice. Yeah, never had mine read.
I think you should get it done once, you know what. I actually
have a deck in the house, so I can. I can do it.
Game of the Year. Yeah, read my fortune. See how I
feel about it. I'll figure out how your fiery explosion takes place a little
bit. I'd like to expect an explosion before I dive head first into it.
Ah, this is how it ends, he says. Dick first,
Yeah, I'm diving into the explosion. First piece out sticks out penis to
my Dick is always body up front. I've always got quite a tent in
front of me. I mean, yeah, if you have an erection,
it's always like that. Twenty four seven. Do you guys want to talk
about Do you guys want to do emails? Yeah, talk about emails.
Let's talk about them. You let's talk about emails. Emails. Do you
guys want to talk about emails do it? How do they work? All?
Right? As usually, you can write into firescapecast at gmail dot com
if you have questions, comments, concerns, or corrections, which I normally
tossing the trace, but actually last episode we were talking about Oppenheimer and Barbie,
specifically those two movies combined with Barbenheimer and Dan. I think you had
asked what the video game release schedule equivalent would be for like a Barbenheimer,
and we started theory crafting a bunch. I think Metal Gear Solid combined with
some cozy game that Mary mentioned might have been one of the ones we settled
on. However, Blake from Arkansas rode in pointing out to one time it
actually happened, not all that long ago, high escapees. I don't know
if this is a correction or a comment parentheses, Please don't delete this mic,
but we actually had the Barbenheimer video games in twenty twenty when Animal Crossing
and Do Maternal came out the same week, in the gaming community embraced the
crossover that was Blake from Arkansas. Yes, yeah, I also the week
of like the Lockdown starting basically due right, and they did crossover art,
didn't they wear the Animal Crossing character was like wearing Doom gear, which is
very funny. Were the same stuff day those two games? March twentieth,
twenty twenty, They might have been. Can I look, Mary, you
look up Animal Crossing New Horizons release date? Okay, Mortal Kombat nine and
Portal two were the same day. But Animal Crossing and Doom Maternal are like
a way better example of that. Barbonehid March twenty twenty. I thought were
going to say at the same time. Oh, sorry, yeah, it
was the same day. Ready, Uno dos treys go March twenty twenty.
Wow the dead so good, thanks Blake. So yeah, we already had
our barbeheimer in March twentieth. Correction. That's the best correction I've ever seen,
the only good correction. All right, Mary, do you want to
read this one? From Andrew B from San Marcos, Texas? Okay,
hello, fires, Who is the sign off? What? How does he
know that? All right? Anyway, we'll get to that. Sorry you
can't read this, read on it copy paste of shit. I don't screen
it beforehand. That's what I did when I tweeted, I wasn't actually reading
it. I copied it. I admitted we got admitted we got one professional
on staff, and then we got Mike and Mary. I'm the professional.
No Mary read this one, Skive Dan the title professional. Fuck, I'm
just a literate Hello, fire Escape. With all the sex we've been having
in Palter's Gate three, I was wondering you had had a weird experience while
playing a game with sex. I remember shortly after the original God of War
I went to a pawn shop my mom picked uh, my mom picked it
up for me because wait, I'm not reading this right, I remember shortly
read sorry, I'm doing it again. Well, I can do it.
I remember only after the original God of War came out, I went to
a pawn shop and my mom picked it up for me because it looked cool
to my eight year old self. And then I beat the Hydra and the
first level. In the living room. Start of the second level, Krados
leaves a bed with two nude women. My mom was right in the room
next to me in the kitchen. I immediately turned the game off, deleted
the data, and gave the game to my older cousin. I haven't played
it since. Thanks for reading. Andrew B. From San Marcos, Texas.
You're only real fan from here. Wow, how do you know,
Andrew that you're maybe maybe someone else from San Marcos is written in and we
didn't know? Prove it, San Marcos Sans. If you're from San Marcos
and you're a real fan, I want to hear from you fans. We
should do Game of the Year in San Marcos, Texas and then see how
many people show up and then rubbing Andrew's face. When a bunch of people
do, it's Jesse. And so the funniest thing here is that Andrew did
not mention the fact that you can correct me if I'm misremembering this, go
back to said bed in God of War and do the mini game to bang
the women again. Yeah, I think you can't. I think you can
do it repeatedly and you get less and less red orbs every time. Right,
they got really gross with it because yeah, yep, but I guess
at this point he wouldn't do that if his mom was immediately like, well,
we gotta fucking give this back to your older cousin. Oh weird section.
I mean, I haven't played the entirety of Duke Knucombe forever pre release.
While Randy Pitchford was in a chair behind me watching me play for eight
hours straight. I don't know if that counts. The game is there a
lot of sexuals? I mean, I know it's duke. Yeah yeah,
But I guess I was, you know, I was an adult. It
was a weird circumstance. My mom wouldn't let me rent Final Fantasy seven because
it wouldn't wouldn't let me rent, but she was just like gave me shit
for like she said it was a porn game because I had Fantasy and the
title. And then when I got tomb Raiders, she saw the cover and
she's like, oh, okay, I know what you want that game,
but nothing too crazy there tomb Raider and never gets nudie though, no,
but there's some crazy boob stuff going on and the covers of those original ones.
So it has taken me a bit. And I'm trying to remember whether
we talked about this on fire Skate. But when I was young and my
older brothers were very understandably excited for Perfect Dark because Rare was releasing the shooter
on the same engine from Golden Eye, and it was like it's all new,
like kind of its own spy shooter kind of thing. They were doing
they rented it from Wegmans before they bought it, and at some point it
got thrown around because the game was rated M. It got thrown around my
house, and I keep mine. I'm like seven years from my closest brother
that at the beginning of a certain version of the game, Joanna Dark in
the intro cut scene gets out of bed, half naked, wrapped in a
sheet like a bedsheet to go to the computer where doctor Carol is saying,
like, here's your next mission. I assume that was actually true growing up.
I don't know if like my brothers were fucking with my mom in order
for me not to be annoying them watching it, which that does not sound
like my brothers. We've always been close and like they've always been super like,
come come play Golden Eye. Well when my mom and dad are not
looking like I don't maybe it was one of their friends. I really don't
have the memory of how it actually happened. I only have the memory of
thinking that there was like a rated M version of Perfect Dark where Joanna Dark
gets out of bed in those sheets, or maybe one of my brothers would
just being a perv and said that. I don't think that's true. I
don't either. I looked it up. It's not. It's not a thing.
So I'm like, where the fuck did I get that? It's like
the Bears kind of thing. I'm like, why I could have sworn that
was a thing. Then I was thinking, like, is it like the
facility all paintball motor all guns cheat from Golden Eye, Like maybe you need
to beat the first mission in Perfect Dark and under sixty seconds. It has
never existed, But from that moment onward, I always associated the M rating
from the ESRB with sexual content specifically, and yeah, you get a little
away with a lot of violence in a team rate again, but yeah,
it's once like you know boobs are involved, that's where you're going m ao.
Yeah, but no, I trust me. I did everything in Perfect
Dark. I could never find that boob cut scene. It's just still play.
It's day trying to find it. A man, just like you're playing
this game again, I'm like, Joanna's apparently half naked and some intro cut
scene I still don't have. I remember seventh grade, this guy Colin and
my junior high was saying that like, oh yeah, tomb Raider, you
can if you in the training section. If you jump off the chandelier and
you do a perfect dive into Lara's pool, when she comes out, she'll
be naked, and like, at that age, the holy grail of life
would be to have a way to look at boobs without any chance of my
mother finding out, because like at that time, like there's no way she
wouldn't know how to turn the PlayStation on, like much less go to do
a perfect dive of larising. That's perfect. I could just I could just
see boobs anytime. Mom would be totally you know, it's fool proof.
And I spent hours and hours and hours and hours and bullishit. I don't
think it was that awkward, but I'll never forget the first time I played
Silent Hell Too and I saw the sex scene with pyramid Head. I think
it was a sex scene. They was definite thrusting and stuff going on,
but I was with my friend Nina, so it wasn't like wasn't like my
mom's was there. But I will say I was not prepared for the sex
scene, Like I don't think I had myself mentally that that was going to
happen, and it's pretty fucked up. So I think that one sticks with
me, like I think about that when I am surprised by video games sex
scenes. Oh fuck, this isn't a video game. I just uh fuck,
I just accidentally accessed the memory I clearly was Is it the Bay of
Pigs? No, Oh my god, this is awkward. I remember one
of my it's always my siblings. I remember one of my brothers and all
my brothers just visited New York the other day to bring me out for like
a bachelor party family dinner. It was super fun, but we were like
strolling down memory lane during dinner, as you do with people you grew up
with, and one of them brought up how they convinced my dad. My
mom was out of town with my sister for a family thing, and one
of them convinced my dad when I was twelve that the movie seven would it
would be like a fun family movie to watch. Nah. Seven's a fucking
incredible movie. However, death Yep, you went right to the scene I
was gonna reference. I'm trying to think the whole thing's unpleasant, but like
that one in particular is like, oh yikes. The sense memory I'm having
right now of flashing back to in the family room in my split level suburban
house in Liverpool, New York, is watching that scene where he's interrogating guy
who did it, who was forced to do it with the sword dildo,
and he's crying and like he made me fuck hers? Like what? And
my dad is like what is going on? And my brother's like wow,
I don't remember this scene. And if anything could be more of a vile,
like violently sexually explicit thing that I had to watch with one of my
parents right there, it was that scene. It was the the death that
was based around lust. Lust in seven. Yeah, well the rest of
the movie is disturbing, but it's like, oh, this guy was force
fed spaghetti for weeks, or this guy was confined to his bed for a
year and a half, or her face was cut off for pride. Like
okay, whatever, me and my dad can we can deal with that.
I can handle a woman getting her face cut off, but I draw the
line at dick stop. I would rather my face off than being fucked with
a sword. It's okay, Well, let's not get into this. I
just yeah, congratulations Andrew, you just maybe relive a lot of this to
anyway. Thank you. Going back in the vault. People should watch seven.
I have watched. Seven remains one of the few movies in the last
decade that I have watched. I watched on a rainy day in San Francisco.
As soon as the credits stopped, it was like, you want to
watch that again, and we watched it again. That that movie is really
fucking good. It's it's it holds up. It's quite good. Mood writing,
overall, scripting, acting, Yep, it's very David Fincher, but
in the good ways. For sure. I love that movie. But thank
you Andrew for making me walk painfully down memory lane. Thank you. All
right, Dan, This one's you from Brock in Las Vegas. What four
fast food items would be on your mount rushmore? In mine? When I
say mine, this is Brock in Las Vegas. This is not me.
I'll say mine. Brocks is egg rolls from Jack in the Box, sausage
McMuffin with egg McDonald's chicken, cause of the taco bell adobo rice, jolly
be Okay, he's one for four, Brock. Listen, what was your
sausage McMuffin? No, first one? You take the egg off there if
the sausage McMuffin is fine if you take the egg off. The number one,
the George Washington spot on Mount Rushmore is the chicken case Ofia. That's
the one he had, right, that is Yeah, chicken case is pretty
good from Taco Bells. You that's your number one? Yeah, well okay,
that's that's the mainstay my entire like adult life. Yeah, that's incredible.
I will say the current best fast food item in the world is the
Popeyees chicken sandwich. Sandwich is so good, sucking unrolled at your residence wherever
it might beat in and it's really good. I went out of my way
to eat that. It's so good. I've I drove, you know,
when you do like stop along the way. I did one when I did
like a fifteen mile detour to get a spicy chicken sandwich. Those are so
good. And I was skeptical because like they was such a big thing that
was like all over like social media and the and the news and stuff like,
oh my god, there's lines outside of every Popeyes, and like I
never fucking thought of Popeyes before, and I was like, there's no way
this chicken sandwich is that fucking good. All Right, I got it,
and I was like, that's the most perfect wait sorry, so say so
chicken and then Popeyes, uh, chick spicy sandwich. Uh, the quarter
pounder with cheese from McDonald's. And I'm trying to get I'm trying to not
just pick like two McDonald's two taco bell you know, I could go cheese,
Gordy to cry and tri McDonald's cry. Do you think we should try
and get a holistic meal? Like shouldn't there be a fry in there?
Or no? Well, if we're saying fries, okay, so uh the
Mount Rushmore. I think the McDonald's fries are the the amber waves of grain
surrounding it. But you know it should I think I think Wendy's spicy chicken
nuggets. I think that would be because I was gonna say chicken McNuggets,
which are amazing. But no, okay. I appreciate the poetry the imagery,
and we can get into that, but I want to know what the
four presidents are on your You got the Caseydia? Okay, well the Caseys
Washington is like the oldest president, right, He's been around forever. So
that's the case Ofdia, who's like the hip young on the scene president of
Mount Rushmore. Yeah, the Popeye's chicken. Say yeah, but who which
president is that on Mount More? There's no hip president on Mount Rushmore.
I mean, who's there's hidis hippist on Mount Rushmore. Who's the new Who's
the youngest president on Mount Rushmore? Thomas Jefferson? Uh No, the jeff
Jefferson would not be the Whoever the Teddy Roosevelt would be the youngest because Abraham
okay, and which is Teddy Roosevelt? No, would Abe Lincoln? Teddy
Roosevelt, Abe Lincoln's the quarter pounders. There was nothing in this question about
comparing presidents to these fast food pieces. It was just picking four. You
have over complicated me. Asking about the comparing it, you have over complicated
it. Just say the four chicken kiss, the quarter poinder cheese, Pope
Eyes chicken sandwich, Wendy's ficy chicken nuggets. Okay, those are good amber
waves of grain or McDonald's fries. No, you can't do that. You
can't just add that. No, no, no, no, okay,
here's the clouds der mc flurries. Here's okay, so, uh no,
the youngest would definitely be Teddy and he is also, are still there,
no, because this is join us, Mike. This is interesting. Teddy
is the youngest, but also he's like Abe Lincoln's kind of a badass in
many ways giving us press facts, I mean, earn all the amount rushmore
ones like like they're they're because they were like important good presidents, right,
they are important presidents. You can look back on many ways they weren't good,
but like Theodore Roosevelt went up on stage with a bullet that just got
lodged in him and like basically said you'll need more than a twenty two to
take me down, and then gave a speech with a twenty two. Like
the spicy Chicken Nuggets, he's the badass, I would say of the group,
even though Abe Lincoln's sex to him. Yes, he spic Spicy Chicken
Nuggets might be the most badass on here. So I think the Spicy Chicken
Us might be. I agree with your Casadilla Washington comparison, being like the
steadfast made up there olds, but like Thomas Jefferson would be Thomas Jefferson Jefferson
bad stuff. Yeah right, yeah he was unsavory what fast food item?
Uh? I mean yeah, I don't yeah, I don't know, like
Jake wish Cup, I just know. Okay, So like they all were
not great with that stuff. I'd say maybe Teddy was more progressive, but
like I would also say that Thomas Jefferson I don't think has done anything super
cool to Oh God, got Mike, if you get canceled for this,
this is the stupidest reason anyone's ever gotten. Can because presidents to fast food.
Yeah, Thomas Jefferson just is kind of a noamere four fast food pieces.
We're sucking up the whole Mount Rushmore thing. Just if we're just one
of the not Rushmore sucks than I'm gonna say that. It's like, uh
fucking half the items at Burger King or the Thomas Jefferson you hate burger King.
It's not great. Oh so I can't wait to get to mine because
I got some weirdos. That's what people said about Jefferson. Thomas Jefferson great,
But we all agree that we like Lincoln. Lincoln seems real cool.
We've discussed that Lincoln is a good press, a top ched press, as
Mike said once, so not how I used the I think it is no
Lincoln. No, Lincoln's like a Big Mac. He's just like the best
thing in fast food to ever be invented. Yeah, we like him,
and he never told a lie. Big Mac never got assassinated. You don't
know that. I think you assassinated a Big Mac probably like within the last
week. Look, I've even one Big Mac in my life, and I
was weary of it the whole time. I've assassinated some bms in my time.
Yeah, yeah, sorry, Mary, you go, you do your
amount of rashmore. No, so far off of the cliff. Now we
gotta go around the horn. Dan's got the casa, a quarter pounder,
Popeye, chicken sandwich, Spicy and Windy, spicy chicken nuckets, all all
great. I agree. I think there might be some overlap. Dan and
I have some similar fast food tastes. I would probably go because of my
my like history. I'd probably go with a Mick chicken because it is like
one of the oldest sandwiches that I always get. Still at McDonald's, I
always get it. Didn't they like change it up during the Chicken sandwich Wars
post Popeyes, when everybody was trying to like be the Hut and everybody to
be the Mick. Chicken. The change they change the chicken. Oh,
they changed the recipe, I thought so. I thought post Popeyes, you
know, Apocalypse and the Chicken sandwich wars, I thought that the Popeye sandwich
is better than the mic chicken. It's like a nostalgia thing. But what
I will in Oh the Crispy was that that was the response. But the
MC chicken was a dollar. I would say, though, when it comes
to like a burger, it's the Mick Double because it's so affordable and it
tastes great and I ate it as a kid. So if I had to
choose between the two, I'd probably go with the classic Mick double. Is
that different than the double cheeseburger? Yes, so a Mick the Mick double
is two patties, one piece of cheese, and it was a dollar,
whereas a double cheese burger was like a dollar fifty. You're paying fifty cents
for one piece of cheese. But are we talking about the cost of this
or just the pure quality? We're not talking about the net worth of the
presidentials to the beholders. Oh is my like cost of a Mick double not
as valid as whether or not Thomas Jefferson was the youngest president. What the
fuck are you talking about? Your reason is stupid and mine is also stupid,
and I don't think you get to call mine stupider. This is fair
good? All right, then the Mick double cool. I'm glad we established
that. Yeah, just glad, glad you Mary just assaulted you and you're
like this, this is fine. I'm gonna assassinate you immediately back down.
So ridiculous that we're making these fake rules. I think, Uh, when
I go to Taco Bell, it's got to be the chicken case. Ada.
So I'm actually with you on the Chicken case. I think it's the
most This is unanimous. No no item from Taco Bell. Did you whisper
something? Oh yeah I was, I was prefacing mine. Oh you're being
weird. I'm not being weird. There's no breakfast sandwich in your mix.
And I think that's a mistake. Breakfast, Yes, yes, I say,
page's Mary, I'm gonna throw it has to be like fast foods,
so I might throw a classic mcgriddle in there, going very uh McDonald's heavy.
But that's just the way it is. And then I'm gonna try and
break the rules. And my final prese is a frosty with fries dipped in
it. Yeah, that's weird. That's good. That's going against God enough.
That's not supposed to go. So did uh Theodore Roosevelt? You know,
like we're just we're committing to the cardinal sin. People do that thing.
I don't. I've I've tried it, and I don't approve. I
don't. He's are fine, are good to the Rushmore? It's on there?
Ye all right? I think my Washington, my first has to be
can I it's kind of a combo, but hear me out. It's specifically
Wendy Spicy Nuggets with their original barbecue sauce. I'm allowed to combo. Yeah,
I think you can choose a sauce with your nugs. I don't know
whether you've noticed, but sometime in the last decade they have changed the barbecue
sauce to be not as good. If you have noticed that, If you've
noticed, that has got a bit closer to the tanginess of McDonald's. Let
me tell you Lili's smoky barbecue sauce, which will definitely run you more money
at the grocery store. But if you're at the right grocery store, it
will have Lili's barbecue sauce. I swear to God that is Wendy's original barbecue
sauce. Anybody listening. So nuggets with barbecue sauce are my Washington. Okay.
If I'm going Jefferson, something that I don't really think about much but
like also is instrumental to my fast food history, I would probably have to
go with the McDonald's hot cakes smothered and sarup for breakfast class. I've ever
had those? Dude, Oh my god, did you know that that's the
most unhealthy item? Really? Oh yeah, I believe it every time,
like crushed, like crushed twelve of those and then jump in the ball pit
at play place. Oh dude, s shit, I diarrhea all over those
balls. We know when they talked about the news how those ball pits are
like cesspools. I was watching I was watching those news reports when I was
like twelve years old. I saw those news reports and my mom was like,
why are they so dirty? I'm like, oh, because people like
me are just deha rehiring all over them because I just ate twelve mcgriddles.
Little Jimmy's trying to see how many of the balls you can fit in his
mouth. Oh god, mcdought they would serve you in like the plastic,
the styrofoam fold over containers, and I would just open it and dump both
the all the butter and oh god, all right, my abe Lincoln,
Old Steadfast, Fall, fall Back. Yeah, I'm basic in this regard.
I have Big Max. Love them. I love them. I love
Big Max. They're incredible. Who does it? Everything about it? One?
And it was weird? I love everything about them. Big Max are
amazing, and they're a tried and true staple and they deserve the Lincoln name.
Yep, my my fourth My have secret ingredients. My teddy is by
far has always been like the badass. My favorite thing is a crunch trap
supreme textures, the way it mixed textures, the crunchy taco within the soft
shell, divided by the hot cheese, the melted cheese. Incredible. And
if I may be so bold, can I have a a bit of an
honorable mention? Let's say we add who's the present? Let's say we add
an Obama to the rushmore? Sure? Okay, I want to ask your
other ear two. Mine would be the Shammy shake, Come Mark, Come
Donald's comes time. Love Shamrock Shake Dan Do at Eighth Street. We had
the the ones that Anthony was making an Eighth Street that was pretty good.
Ye. Yes, No, my trick is they I think they eventually turned
this into a real thing you could order, but I used to do the
menu hack thing where it's like, hey, do half Shamrock shake and half
an Oreo mc flurry and then blend that up in like a green Oreo mcflurry
chocolate chip. Oo kind of amazing. Eighth Street tavern near near me had
the the alcoholic ones with vodka and its really good would be uh Wendy's Nugs
with sweet and sour sauce. I love Wendy's Nugs, but I was a
sweet and sour kid, so I gotta go with my tried and true,
good, freaking delicious. Wendy's is my favorite fast food restaurant. So good.
Yeah, and they I feel like a taste fresher. And we've talked
about this before. We've we've I prefer Wendy's over everything they were there might
go to, but I won't let that influence too much. Can my Obama
be a slice of pizza hut stuff crust pizza, Yes, yeah, okay,
Obama is a stuff crust extra cheese, Yeah, dipped in Marin era
crust. Oh yeah, you need to smother that. Maybe he's a famous
bowl what I don't know, really good KFC. I don't know what that
is. Oh, KFC famous bowl, that's what the Yeah? Yeah,
potatoes, fried chicken, Yeah, cheeze. I'll just kind of just jumped
up popcorn chicken all that. I oh, you know what, I'll take
the stuff crust pizza over that. So I'm gonna go. I'm gonna stick
with Obama stuff crest people. I didn't even think about KFCA and w combo.
But what Popeye's is killing KFC? Now, yeah, that fried chicken,
I didn't that's not that's not on my rush Mount Rushmore because it doesn't
hold as big of a place in my memory. But oh it's really good.
Fuck no, I'm hungry too, same all right. We established that
in a pretty uh fanciful order. That was Brock from Las Vegas. Thank
you so much, and that's our that's basically our episode. Good episode,
Good episode sixty two. Again. You can write into us for next episode.
Fire skate Cast at gmail dot com. Tell us your amount rushmore,
tell us why we were wrong. I want to know all of yours.
We should be able to talk about uh Starfield next time. Yeah, I'll
be able to talk about Starfield. But does does Skyrim and Space? As
Todd Howard's been calling it, talk more of that, Dan, Mary and
I have all been playing it. Just embargoed against playing a right now,
not trying to be it. Jeff Keiley really uh several times today during the
game's colm opening Night Live, said I really wanted people know he's playing Starfield
but couldn't talk about it. He struck me as one of those people on
Twitter that I don't like that. That that annoys me. Would people do
that? It's because if you'll see the fucking here's the thing. We get
these embargoes and stuff all the time, and it'll be like, okay,
Horizon zero don okay. So on March twenty second, you can tweet a
picture of the menu screen over and it's like when you are doing that,
when like at the nano second that the embargo lips when you see ninety people
tweet a picture of the menu screen of Horizon with a tease of like,
oh what am I about to play? You're just playing into the fucking marketing.
That's what you're doing. You're just doing exactly what they want, which,
like, I don't know, I think that's weird. So I know
again, I worked a game in Former for five years, and every fucking
cover story we ever did was just playing into the marketing. And so who
the fuck we're all I'm not we're all complicit. I'm not gonna speak to
that last part, but I will say that I in the past have played
into like, oh I have this game. I try really hard not to
do that now, and I also don't. I fucking am really not.
I say this every episode, but I actually kind of am proud of it,
and I'm gonna keep ragging about it. I have not seen Twitter or
x in so long. I have no fucking clue what people are saying on
it. I don't care. All of my Instagram is dogs, cats,
wine, shit, uh now, roadhouse stuff. Uh, I don't,
I don't. I did not see whether many people in my circles said they
were playing Starfield. I'm not saying we're playing Starfield. Just try to be
a dick like that. We're looking forward to talking about it. We get
that's the thing like there if there's a reason like here, like I haven't
really played shit for obviously I've been moving. But also I all I'm playing
if I have any free time is Starfield. So like, yeah, I
played two hours of Immortals of ABM, so like there was a reason that
I'm saying I'm playing Starfield is because like, hey, if it seems like
I'm not playing anything, your energy. So it's it's the it's the tweeting
at embargo type stuff like who I got the gamer. It's like, okay,
yeah, we get it. You fucking this is your job. It's
yeah, it's shocking you got a game early. Yeah, well, we'll
talk about it in the next episode. In Yeah, in the meantime,
you can random fire your cast at Gmail talk. I'll talk more about Shadow
Tacks. Please at some point before December. I know time is taught.
Time is taught right now, as they said, I'm is taught. At
some point before I gave me the year. I want people to play.
I think Jake would really like Shadow Tactics. Cool, Judge Jake would like
Shadow tact or sorry, Shadow Gambit Curse Crew. Yep, I know you
know. When I was packing everything for this move, and I was like
trying to be really like, I'm getting rid of anything that's not essential,
just to make this move as easy as possible. I was literally looking at
a devil bag filled with a mcgroober wig, a Judge robe and a gavel
and sunglasses and think I'm like, I need this, and I yes,
I think okay again, Yes, Jesus Christ, Yeah, thank you the
Judge Jake out, dude apparrel, give me a beer. Yeah, we'll
talk about shadow Gambit for sure. But in the meantime, you can go
to firescapecast dot com to sign up our Patreon. You can get ad free
episode, you can just treat like a tip jar. If you appreciate what
we're doing, you can get video versions. We appreciate anything and everything.
Speaking of cool Judge Jake, it is the Patreon funds that really go a
long way to helping us do that travel and those expenses. At the end
of the year when we're putting on a very fun show. As the last
couple of years, I've proven and we are looking forward to doing it again.
At the end of twenty twenty three, Dan tell people what they can
do on Spotify, iTunes, wherever they get their podcasts. You click the
rating thing. You give us the maximum one. It's typically five. Takes
less time than tying your shoes. Helps us out. Thank you, We'll
go do it helps us rise over other podcasts. When people are coming to
find their favorite video game podcast, their favorite podcast with peoplers shooting the shit
about fast food, who knows what people might and sick presses, sick presses.
Uh, Mary, tell people where they can get some hot threads if
they want to sport their favorite fire skate. Oh, you're gonna want to
head over to fire Escape merch dot com. Now, I just want to
say that I have been seeing really good looking banana yellow shirts online and if
I see you in a banana yellow shirt, I'm gonna retweet you. And
then I'm gonna misquote you because I didn't read it, but I will retweet
you with that banana yellow and uh, we're working on we are working behind
the scenes, not no timetable, but we are working behind the scenes on
some new cool fire Escape designs for people to sport around town. We uh,
just do do be a favorite, actually like a personal favorite, Dan
Mary, don't listen, don't don't buy the the Jedi, the mouse pad
or the shirt. It was a mistake. I don't really like those out
there in the public. I'll retweet those two. No, no, no,
it's fine. The coaster and the computer Matt, and they both look
at high quality. No, sorry, I gotta go. Yeah, people,
if you're listening, don't listen to Dan. Mary. Just don't buy
the coaster or the I don't really like it. Actually, kind of if
like if I see you, if I see you on the subway wearing it,
We're gonna I'm gonna maul you. I'm gonna mess you up. But
anyway, thank you, Mary. That's Fireskate Merch dot com. That's an
episode, this episode sixty two. Dan, What do you have going on
giant bomb dot com. That's where I'm doing my day to day and uh,
pretty be pretty soon here now that I'm kind of getting up and running,
probably get back on the old twitch dot tv slash Dan record, start
doing maybe not like super set schedule stuff, but start using my way in,
start doing some more streams and stuff like that. So should be fine.
Mary, what about you usual twitch stuff? If I stream on Mondays
and that's about it, except we'll do some RESSI we owe RESI so Resident
Evil on our fire Escape YouTube. Yeah, I go subscribe to that if
you have not yet, it's not going to cost you anything. It's just
a good way to be notified when we put up new episodes of Resident kin
Evil, and also will be a good channel to be subscribed to when we
put up all our stuff inevitably later in the year in December, because that's
where we put up our Game of the Year stuff. All my stuff's on
Polygon. We're recording this kind of mid games colm so to speak, so
a lot of that. Those previews for Persona five, Tactica, Warhammer,
forty K, Rogue Trader, Total War both upcoming Total Wars. What's the
last one I'm thinking of, Well, we'll go to Polygon read everything Roadhouse.
I wrote a thirty thousand word Roadhouse re you it's on poly you better
do it thirty words buck, Yeah, oh god no, I want to.
Uh, it's all on Polygon, Polygon dot com. Go. Uh.
We got a lot of incredible writers doing some cool stuff over there.
We are coming games, come, getting ready for Armor Core six coverage,
writing a lot of cool stuff about Boska three, Starfield, et cetera.
Go check it out. We will be back fire Escape with episode sixty three
in September. On September eleventh, see you, then be back a couple
of weeks. Such a long gap in what you like saying anything. It's
it's a it's a mutual, it's a mutual person's birthday that we all know
that I was. I was like, I want to respect I want to
respect their privacy. We'll be back on September eleventh, twenty twenty three,
with more fire Escape cast. Thank you for jo You could have been anywhere
in the world tonight, but you chose to spend it with us. We
appreciate it. Bye bye May