WEBVTT

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Dad's on date. We would like
to draw your attention to the fact that

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the following content is made up of
humorous adult material and is intended for immature,

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not easily triggered audience. You have
been warned. He no. Tried

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catching fog the other day, missed. At first. I was like,

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you said, frog, weird?
He knock? Who's there? Tank?

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Tank? No? All right?
As I was about saying, like,

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no, get out of here,
thank you, thank you, thank you.

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Immediately start off phrases. It's not
a it's not a visual podcast.

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Thank you. Oh, welcome to
that one. I'm know, I don't

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thank you for the seven people listening
to this who appreciate that. Those of

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you that have tuned out, good
boy, they're not going to hear it.

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Whatever. Oh my goodness, how
you doing. I'm good. It's

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been a couple of weeks, it
has. Yeah. Yeah, I'm excited

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to get into hear stories of how
your your trips went. So I guess

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I'll go first and then let you
go because you're gonna be longer because we

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we've been up too much as hot
as ship. So like, want to

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go golfing this weekend but can't or
won't I won't won't because you won't.

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Yeah, I'm not gonna golf in
one hundred and twelve. I'm going,

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I mean tomorrow. I think it
is supposed to be less. Yeah,

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that's hot though, I'm gonna go
tomorrow. I'm gonna take Grayson. I

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might go im, I might convince
myself. So h we'll see, We'll

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see how I feel. But in
other news, uh, so, it

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was pretty funny. A couple like
a month ago or so, I remember

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bringing up that Ellie was saying fucking
attitude. Okay, so earlier this week

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during dinner, something got said.
The word attitude got said, and she

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looks at me and she looks at
Summer, and Summer goes don't say it,

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and she just looks at her and
she mouths it. She doesn't say

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it, and Summer gets up and
she sits there for thirty seconds, just

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staring repeatedly saying fucking attitude, but
only mouth and you can see like this

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grin and I was just like,
she is the devil. So in other

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news, quite comically, my son
I was. I was like, I

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came in his room to say something
and he was on the phone. I'm

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like, who are you talking to
a friend, and I'm like, okay,

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who. Like, I'm like,
did you give your number out to

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somebody on a video game or like
what? He was like a friend.

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I'm like, well, how do
you know the friend? He was from

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middle school? And I was like, are they in middle school? He

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is, no, we went to
middle school. They go to the high

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school, and now he goes to
the academy. And I was like,

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oh okay, So then I let
that go. And then a couple of

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days he was talking and I was
talking to him and he's all embarrassed because

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it's a girl. And I was
like, well, how'd you get her

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number? And he was like,
well, she was at the pool and

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I was like, okay, well
how'd you get her number? He was

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like I was. I was working
in the water by the slide and she

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walked by and he with his gesture
for those listeners because we're not a video

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he just waved his fingers like the
hang loose sign like a phone, and

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he just looked at her and went
like that for a number, and she

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gave him the numbers that they've been
talking. And I keep bugging like not

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not like pestering or making fun of
him, but he thinks that I'm going

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to make fun of him, so
he doesn't want to open up and say

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anything because I'm like, what does
she look like? And then today on

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the way here, I said,
is your girlfriend going to be at the

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pool? And he's just like quiet, and I'm like, just like,

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who cares? Just speak up and
he was like no, I'm like,

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when when did you talk to her
last? He was like yesterday. I'm

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okay, I'm like what does she
look like? And he just shrugged his

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shoulders and I'm like, okay,
is she tall? Is she short?

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And he was he looks me down
the he goes, she's blonde. I'm

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like, she tall? Is she
short? She's blonde? So then my

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next follow up, I'm like,
she's skinny? Is she fat? Like

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what? I'm just trying to like, I don't really care, yeahrightsations,

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I'm just trying to figure out what's
going on. But it was funny because

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we were at I think it was
Sunday, Sunday evening. We went to

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Culvers and we decide to go there
to eat, like to eat in Culvers,

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right, So we're there and then
uh Summer and Ellie go to the

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bathroom and Elias is on the phone. I'm like, what are you doing?

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And he's like nothing. I'm like, are you talking to your girlfriend?

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And I'm like, what is she
doing? Was he texting or was

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he talking? Texting? Okay?
And he said that She asked if we

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were still at Culver's and I was
like, oh yeah, and he goes.

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I said why, He said because
she said her and her family's on

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the way. I said, oh, I guess we're staying. He goes,

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Nope, let's go, and he
starts packing up the table and I'm

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like, no, we're staying.
He's like, no, it's time to

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go. Ye, No, No, that's not you. You fucked up,

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kid, at that moment right there, you fucked up because the second

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as a parent we know that something
like this is going down, there's there's

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no avoiding it. Yeah you can't. I don't give a fuck. You

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can get up and leave, but
remember we drove you here. You're walking,

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dude, And then when she comes
in and she looks around for you,

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we're gonna know because he's gonna be
the only one looking for you,

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right right. We ended up not
getting too because we waited there for ten

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minutes because Whenummer came, actually he
was ready and I explained to her.

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She goes, oh, yeah,
let's sit down, let's eat our ice

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cream. We waited like ten minutes
and then nothing. So then we left

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and I think we missed him by
like five minutes because I said, to

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shit, end up at Calvers and
he was like yeah. When we got

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home, she texted me and asked
where I was because I wasn't in there.

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That sucks, like you, But
I've been bugging him because I'm like,

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you should do something with her.
Yeah, like his his last paycheck

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after taxes was like nine hundred dollars
damn. And I'm like for two weeks,

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right, yeah, yeah, Well
because he had two weeks back to

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back that over like thirty five hours. That's huge. And uh, I

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said, do something, plan some
go to the movies with her, like

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do something. No, and I'm
like why, I'm like and I just

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messed him like, well, she'll
start talking to somebody else and then stop

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talking to you, so like whatever, But I don't know. He's yeah,

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I get. I mean he's shy, he's he's late to the game

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because of his age, A little
bit, a lot of bit not that

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it's a good thing. We've talked
about this, but not that it's a

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good thing. But at his age, you and I had already done things

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done, not just done things,
yes, everything, Yeah, I mean

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I had done everything at that point. It's same. Yeah, So I

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mean he he is. It tracks
for who his personality is. It tracks

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for who he is, It tracks
for where I kind of have always thought

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that he would be like in terms
of you know, when when you look

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at like I look at my kids
and CALLI CALLI will inevitably, inevitably be

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a people pleaser. Yeah, Lily
is either going to be running her own

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company or in jail. It might
be an own company in jail. Correct,

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it might be both with the h
and Grayson. Grayson's going to find

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a girl that is probably fifty five
and he's a sugar mom. I've accepted

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these these facts already. Yeah.
But so I was your fourth Yeah,

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just just hung out. I have
family over swam. Yeah. Yeah,

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it sucked because it was on Tuesday. Yeah, it was hard. So

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it's like I went to work Monday
and then had Tuesday off and then you're

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back to work Wednesday. So it
was just like it felt awkward. Did

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not feel awkward for me. Yeah, well you had a long time off

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a so how was how is your
time off? What did you do?

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I had nine days of absolute bliss
and fun. So we the first couple

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of days off the weekend before the
fourth of July, we took a drive

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eight hour drive to this place called
Lake Nasa Miento. It's right next to

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a Posto rollblaze in California. It
is a rich lake like Pink's got a

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house there. Some other people got
a house like it's a rich fucking lake.

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And then it outlalks you guys,
outwalks the Rosenberg Clan right like it,

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dude, man if if we were
ever the fucking red red balloon in

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a room of white balloons like,
but it was. It was great.

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The people, the people that we
engaged with were actually very polite, very

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respectful, super super kind, very
inviting, and they and they took us

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into their home, their cabin.
Here. This will this will give you

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an example of kind of what was
going on. The cabin was inherited.

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This This gentleman, he's sixty some
years old, inherited the cabin. It's

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been in his family for a long
time. Now, and he was upset

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because he wanted to do upgrades,
some of which he had to because the

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way the house was built is so
old that it now breaks codes and it

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and having it is just illegal.
Some of the things are grandfathered in,

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but they're giving him X amount of
time to fix it. And he's like,

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yeah, and I'm just frustrated because
my price point just keeps going up

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and I've reached my correct because the
major upgrades. He's like, I've reached

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my limit, and you know,
I just I kind of want to just

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be done with it and get started. And I was like, oh.

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It was like, so like,
what are you guys looking at? You

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know, thinking a couple hundred thousand
is probably accurate one point five million.

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Jesus. I was like, oh, cool, cool, cool, cool

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cool. That's not even your main
house. He's got two other houses.

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I'm just like, for fuck sake, that's ridiculous. How do you know

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this person work yet? So it
is the father of someone I work with,

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gotcha? Yeah, that person invited
us to go with them. They

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this is kind of where they always
go for their family, little family trips

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and stuff. And they owned two
two jet boats that were down on their

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own dock that he built by his
you know himself. Yeah, it was

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pretty cool. But we so we
get there and it was awesome because we

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had a lot of moments where my
kids overcame adversity. So Lily doesn't like

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camping, she's not a big fan
of camping. And we slept outside,

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no tent, just in sleeping bags. We had air mattresses that we blew

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up, but we were outside on
the ground, right, And the first

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night she was like, I don't
want to do this. I don't want

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to do this. She's like,
she didn't want to give up her phone.

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She wanted to watch Netflix, and
dude, it was gorgeous, Like

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by the time we were going to
bed, it was like seventy five degrees.

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The moon was full. Excuse me, the moon was full. It

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was beautiful, perfect, right,
She's like, no, I don't want

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to do this. I don't want
to do this. So we kind of

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talked through that and she overcame that
adversity and that was really cool. When

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we get to the lake and she's
like, I don't want to get on

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that inner tube. I don't want
to get on that inner tube. I

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don't I don't want to do it, and so a couple other people did

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it first and saw how she saw
how fun it was and it was a

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blast, and she's like, okay, fine, So she gets on the

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innertube, dude, and fucking kills
it, absolutely kills it. She got

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on a wakeboard. She ended up, dude, She ended up doing a

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ton of stuff. She was jumping
and diving in water, jumping off the

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boat like it was. It was
an absolute fucking blast. But it wouldn't

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be any trip if my kids didn't
pull some stupid shit, let's hear it.

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So the first day we're there,
Lily's like, so, how fast

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can this boat go? And the
guy's like, it can go pretty fast.

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And she's like, bet you can't
go faster than my dad in a

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car. And he's like, I
don't know how fast an your dad's cargo.

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She goes fast enough to get pulled
over. I was like, thanks,

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And she proceeds to tell this gentleman, who is an insurance salesman he

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deals with State Farm Insurance, that
I had gotten three tickets in the last

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year, and I was like,
what are you doing. I was like,

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that is not appropriate for this this
environment. Young lady and she just

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throws me right underneath the fucking bus. He thought it was hilarious. He

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thought it was fucking funny, you
know. And he looks at me and

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he goes, you know, that's
a portal unensurable, right, And I

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was like, well not. They
were in all tickets like some of them

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don't like, we'll talk about this
in a minute, Like some of them

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are warning. Yeah, some of
them were warnings. He's like, you

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ut pulled over three times in one
year. I was like, yeah,

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it's like technically three times in three
months, but whatever, who's counting calendar

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year? Yeah, calendar year.
So so that was the first kind of

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like little like like I don't know
right. So then we were on the

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boat and and dude, I get
it, like the kids were hot,

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like everything was going on, you
know, it was it was the first

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day was a long day, like
my kids have never been out like that.

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Plus the drive the day prior correct
there's a lot there's not much time

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to wind down and kind of get
going. Yeah, like it was it's

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a whole I mean, your drive
was a whole day, dude. We

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we literally yeah, we literally spent
three days out in like, I mean,

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we left fucking well, we ended
up leaving super early in the morning,

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but we ended up spending three days
on the lake, right non stop,

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right on the lake. It was
a It was an absolute blast.

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So later later that night, right
we had been on the lake all day

205
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long, you could see that she
was tired. You could see that she

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wasn't having it. She she fucking
sits there and she puts her head down

207
00:14:16.679 --> 00:14:20.360
on the table, right and she
was like, oh, you okay,

208
00:14:20.360 --> 00:14:24.120
And she's like, I'm just I
don't know, And she proceeds to take

209
00:14:24.159 --> 00:14:28.480
her food and just move it.
And when she moved it, she pushed

210
00:14:28.480 --> 00:14:31.919
it into other things and pushed it
into someone's plate, and the plate went

211
00:14:31.000 --> 00:14:33.320
right off the fucking table. I
was like, oh god, damn it.

212
00:14:35.840 --> 00:14:39.000
Okay, so we pick it up, we clean it up. Lily,

213
00:14:39.080 --> 00:14:41.799
Are you okay? Do you want
to go lay down? No,

214
00:14:41.879 --> 00:14:43.159
I don't want to go lay down. She proceeds to lift her head up

215
00:14:43.200 --> 00:14:48.240
and then put her head back down
into her fucking plate. All the meanwhile,

216
00:14:48.279 --> 00:14:52.559
while I'm dealing with this, our
producer's high as a kite, mind

217
00:14:52.600 --> 00:14:56.559
you okay, because she's on vacation
too, right, So she's I'm like,

218
00:14:56.600 --> 00:14:58.600
you can do what you want.
That's fine, Like I can handle

219
00:14:58.639 --> 00:15:01.960
things like I. At no point
in time did I ever make her feel

220
00:15:03.000 --> 00:15:07.240
like she had to I don't know, not let go. But she always

221
00:15:07.279 --> 00:15:11.320
made sure that it was okay with
me in order to do so right,

222
00:15:11.600 --> 00:15:13.679
sure to make that clear. We
were on the same page. So all

223
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the meantime, while Lily's falling asleep
in her food and literally just demolishing the

224
00:15:18.600 --> 00:15:22.360
fucking table, Grayson's over here crying
because he doesn't want to eat his vegetables.

225
00:15:24.080 --> 00:15:26.240
I'm like, Grayson, I need
you to eat your vegetable. Dude,

226
00:15:26.279 --> 00:15:30.440
You've got like four pieces of broccoli, two pieces of onion. Like

227
00:15:30.480 --> 00:15:33.360
it's fine, it's no big deal. He's going through his you know,

228
00:15:33.480 --> 00:15:37.840
eight year old moment. He's choking
it down, he's figuring out a way

229
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to eat it. At some point
he got up and left the table,

230
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and I didn't know, Okay,
walks inside, pukes all over the floor.

231
00:15:48.879 --> 00:15:52.799
Oh, walks into the bathroom,
pukes all over the bathroom, comes

232
00:15:52.840 --> 00:15:56.840
back out and he's like I'm done, and he shows me an empty plate,

233
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and I was like, okay,
cool, good job. Like I

234
00:15:58.360 --> 00:16:03.360
don't know anything of what happened inside
at this point, right, okay,

235
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I only know that he has come
back outside from going to the bathroom.

236
00:16:07.600 --> 00:16:08.679
He's like, hey, I'm done. I look at the plate. I'm

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00:16:08.679 --> 00:16:11.600
like, cool, good job,
way to go, buddy, given him

238
00:16:11.679 --> 00:16:15.080
kudos, high fives. Didn't notice
that something was different with him, Like,

239
00:16:15.120 --> 00:16:19.559
he looked normal, my buddy,
it's his parents' place. Gets up,

240
00:16:19.600 --> 00:16:22.600
goes inside and he looks through.
He looks at me with that like

241
00:16:22.720 --> 00:16:30.399
fucking like that just angry. What
the fuck? Look through the glass door,

242
00:16:30.919 --> 00:16:33.919
and I'm like, oh shit.
So I get up and I get

243
00:16:33.919 --> 00:16:36.639
to it. There he's like,
get puked on the floor. I looked

244
00:16:36.639 --> 00:16:41.240
down and there was fucking broccoli and
chicken everywhere. Dude, did he throw

245
00:16:41.360 --> 00:16:45.639
up because he threw He had to
have thrown up because he had tried to

246
00:16:45.679 --> 00:16:48.159
eat too much and then the sensation
of eating it just made him puked.

247
00:16:48.519 --> 00:16:51.960
It had nothing to do with anything
else, because he was fine, he

248
00:16:52.039 --> 00:16:53.639
was playing around. There was no
heat stroke involved, nothing like that.

249
00:16:53.679 --> 00:16:57.399
Like, it was just purely the
fact that this dipshit. But then the

250
00:16:57.399 --> 00:17:03.320
funny part fucking eat vegetable. The
funny part is so you throw up and

251
00:17:03.360 --> 00:17:07.559
then you don't say a word about
it. You come out like nobody's gonna

252
00:17:07.559 --> 00:17:10.440
see it. Like, I don't
know what's fuck happening, right. I

253
00:17:10.519 --> 00:17:12.119
look at him, dude, through
the glass window, and he just gives

254
00:17:12.119 --> 00:17:15.839
me that look like oh shit,
and he kind of puts his head down

255
00:17:15.880 --> 00:17:19.960
and he's like like you can see
him searching around like what to do.

256
00:17:21.000 --> 00:17:22.400
And I was just like, you, motherfucker, and I kind of gave

257
00:17:22.440 --> 00:17:30.640
him the finger, you know,
fucking Jesus. So he fucking stomps into

258
00:17:30.680 --> 00:17:33.680
the house and at this time,
now they're like, okay, what's going

259
00:17:33.720 --> 00:17:37.400
on? You know? So the
parents turn around, look and this is

260
00:17:37.400 --> 00:17:40.839
how cool these people were. They
turn around, they look and they go,

261
00:17:41.160 --> 00:17:42.759
oh, no, Grayson, are
you okay? And they ask him

262
00:17:42.799 --> 00:17:45.240
if he's okay, and they ask
if he's all right, like they're more

263
00:17:45.279 --> 00:17:52.240
concerned about him than their carpet that
is now fucking ruined. Yeah, yep.

264
00:17:52.279 --> 00:17:56.480
They give me some cleaning supplies,
and I wanted because I'm the you

265
00:17:56.519 --> 00:17:57.480
know, this is the type of
dad that I am. I'm like,

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00:17:57.519 --> 00:18:00.359
Grayson, get your ass over here
and help me fucking clean this up,

267
00:18:00.519 --> 00:18:03.880
you know, right, get over
because I know I've been through this before,

268
00:18:03.920 --> 00:18:06.960
and they're like, no, no, no, it's okay. Like,

269
00:18:07.039 --> 00:18:08.799
let's let's make sure he's okay.
They take him outside and out.

270
00:18:10.000 --> 00:18:11.039
What was I gonna do, dude, Like, I'm I'm living in their

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00:18:11.079 --> 00:18:14.519
fucking house for the next two days, you know what I mean? Like

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00:18:14.559 --> 00:18:17.079
I can't. He'd be like,
no, shut the fuck up, let

273
00:18:17.119 --> 00:18:19.279
me be a parent. You don't
bitch, right, Like that's I don't

274
00:18:19.279 --> 00:18:22.759
want to raise a pussy your sons
the bitch. I don't want my fucking

275
00:18:22.759 --> 00:18:25.079
son being a little bitch. I
want him to clean up after himself.

276
00:18:25.160 --> 00:18:26.759
You know, I can't. I
can't say those things out loud to these

277
00:18:26.759 --> 00:18:30.440
people that are letting me stay there. That's true, you know. So

278
00:18:30.200 --> 00:18:33.240
it was it was, but it
was cool. They were they were super

279
00:18:33.319 --> 00:18:40.039
kind, super fun people. And
then excuse me, uh yeah, it

280
00:18:40.160 --> 00:18:42.759
was just it was it was an
all around fun weekend. Then we get

281
00:18:42.759 --> 00:18:47.799
to Phoenix, so we come back, right, we drive back on Monday.

282
00:18:48.680 --> 00:18:52.720
We get back sometime around like eleven
o'clock Monday night. Yeah, it

283
00:18:52.759 --> 00:18:55.880
was like ten, yeah, ten
ten thirty something like that. Turn around

284
00:18:56.319 --> 00:19:00.480
Tuesday morning, we wake up at
like seven, Cassie comes over because she

285
00:19:00.519 --> 00:19:03.200
wants to see the kids. We
have breakfast with her and my mom,

286
00:19:03.960 --> 00:19:07.160
and then we turn around and leave
and we're in Phoenix by like noon,

287
00:19:07.599 --> 00:19:11.400
ye right, so like it was. It was a it was a quick

288
00:19:11.400 --> 00:19:15.359
turnaround there too. We get to
Phoenix. We the first the first day

289
00:19:15.440 --> 00:19:19.519
was was super chill. We were
relaxing, and then we get to Tuesday.

290
00:19:19.880 --> 00:19:22.359
We're still Tuesday night, right,
So we get to Tuesday night where

291
00:19:22.359 --> 00:19:27.799
the fireworks, and Ryan and us
had purchased a lot of fireworks, okay,

292
00:19:27.880 --> 00:19:33.319
okay, and I am very mad
that we did not have any fucking

293
00:19:33.640 --> 00:19:37.440
sense of mind to have a camera
rolling while we were doing these things,

294
00:19:37.519 --> 00:19:41.880
of course, because we had to
back it up Terry moment, like pure

295
00:19:41.920 --> 00:19:48.000
fucking back it up Terry moment right
where we start lighting off these fireworks,

296
00:19:48.039 --> 00:19:49.640
and of course we start small,
nothing major, right we start. We

297
00:19:49.680 --> 00:19:53.039
start tiny with the little baby candles
and stuff like that that just shoot a

298
00:19:53.319 --> 00:19:56.279
you know, flare in the sky
and nothing big two feet off the ground,

299
00:19:56.400 --> 00:20:00.359
right, Yeah, And uh,
Lily's fucking terrified of these things.

300
00:20:00.559 --> 00:20:04.799
Grayson wants to fucking set him off
in his mouth. Grayson's sitting there with

301
00:20:04.839 --> 00:20:07.599
a sparkler, dude. It was
like it was actually kind of like a

302
00:20:07.640 --> 00:20:11.759
mini Roman candle, and he's got
two of them, fucking chewing on them

303
00:20:11.880 --> 00:20:15.079
on the end of them, Like, what are you doing, you idiot?

304
00:20:15.960 --> 00:20:22.000
Lily scared shitless. Kelly was responsible. So Lily wants to light them,

305
00:20:22.000 --> 00:20:26.599
but she is deathly fucking scared to
do so. She is afraid that

306
00:20:26.680 --> 00:20:30.640
it is going to blow up on
her and she is going to die,

307
00:20:30.680 --> 00:20:33.200
like I mean terrified, right,
So we talk her into light in this

308
00:20:33.240 --> 00:20:37.799
one. It's a normal like little
box one that just kind of sparkles,

309
00:20:37.839 --> 00:20:41.400
shoots off a couple little and then
it's done. I don't know, maybe

310
00:20:41.680 --> 00:20:48.799
ten fifteen seconds worth the time,
right, She lights it and doesn't move,

311
00:20:48.720 --> 00:20:53.480
and you can see the fuse quickly
going down, and she is over

312
00:20:53.920 --> 00:20:59.519
top of it, frozen Rosen dude, frozen, and I'm like, lillly

313
00:20:59.599 --> 00:21:03.160
move and everybody is screaming at her, which makes it ten times worse.

314
00:21:03.240 --> 00:21:07.000
D of course, the firework goes
off and her back could not have been

315
00:21:07.039 --> 00:21:11.039
any closer to this fucking firework dude. How it didn't catch her hair on

316
00:21:11.119 --> 00:21:17.279
fire is beyond me. It was
a pure back it up terry moment,

317
00:21:17.359 --> 00:21:19.920
dude. I mean, and I'm
dying laughing because I know she's okay,

318
00:21:21.079 --> 00:21:23.680
you know, right, but I'm
dying laughing. And Steph is like,

319
00:21:23.680 --> 00:21:27.960
why are you such a dick?
You and Ryan both fucking assholes, you

320
00:21:29.000 --> 00:21:30.799
know. And but it was a
great night after that, after she kind

321
00:21:30.799 --> 00:21:33.839
of got over that, she light
a couple more. She lit a couple

322
00:21:33.880 --> 00:21:37.720
more small ones. The kids had
a blast. We let we we were

323
00:21:37.720 --> 00:21:41.240
probably lighting fireworks for a good hour
and a half. Dude, we had

324
00:21:41.279 --> 00:21:44.160
a ton of fireworks, a ton
of fireworks. I felt bad for his

325
00:21:44.160 --> 00:21:48.319
neighbors because you could see all the
smoke just traveling right into this guy's front

326
00:21:48.319 --> 00:21:51.839
door. Yeah, and like,
what were we gonna do? Like I

327
00:21:51.839 --> 00:21:52.920
can't control the wind. But the
guy didn't say anything, he didn't come

328
00:21:52.960 --> 00:21:56.000
out and complain. So his front
window was open, so he'd had to

329
00:21:56.000 --> 00:21:59.720
be going into his house. I
don't know he wasn't home or what,

330
00:21:59.759 --> 00:22:03.160
but it whatever. And then,
uh, Wednesday, didn't really do much,

331
00:22:03.200 --> 00:22:07.119
played board games all day, and
Thursday we went golfing. Yep,

332
00:22:07.440 --> 00:22:17.200
Okay, it's hot in Phoenix,
dude, Yeah, it's hot in Phoenix.

333
00:22:17.920 --> 00:22:19.359
I should have known that this golf
course. I don't know, it's

334
00:22:19.400 --> 00:22:23.920
called Trace Pines or Trace Rio's or
some fucking shit. It was terrible,

335
00:22:25.359 --> 00:22:27.400
dude. It like the golfing was
fun, don't get me wrong, but

336
00:22:27.440 --> 00:22:33.319
the golf course itself I expected to
be better. The the fairways were literally

337
00:22:33.359 --> 00:22:40.519
like sandwiched together, like there were
there were four fairways all lined up,

338
00:22:40.599 --> 00:22:45.240
all line parallel with each other.
Like it was nuts, dude. I've

339
00:22:45.279 --> 00:22:48.240
never seen something like that. And
then there was nothing in between them,

340
00:22:48.720 --> 00:22:51.880
so it's not like there were trees
in between them separating them. There was

341
00:22:51.920 --> 00:22:56.480
a little bit of slice. You're
immediately on another, if not two other

342
00:22:56.559 --> 00:23:00.440
holes over. Yeah, if you're
me, that's just true. Sure,

343
00:23:00.720 --> 00:23:03.240
it's like it was. It was
bad and you couldn't get a read on

344
00:23:03.279 --> 00:23:07.160
the fucking greens. Some of them
were fast, some of them were slow.

345
00:23:07.200 --> 00:23:08.519
And it wasn't because they were like
watering them or anything like. It

346
00:23:08.559 --> 00:23:12.359
was just awkward. Yeah, it
was so fucking awkward. But I got

347
00:23:12.359 --> 00:23:18.480
a new driver, and this Cobra
driver is tits. I was hitting three

348
00:23:18.599 --> 00:23:22.599
oh five, three ten consistently.
Yeah all day long, Yeah, all

349
00:23:22.680 --> 00:23:25.480
day long. It took me a
while to figure out how to get him

350
00:23:25.480 --> 00:23:27.359
straight because I kept loosening my grip, so my club face was turning a

351
00:23:27.359 --> 00:23:30.400
little bit. But once I got
that dialed in, dude, I was

352
00:23:30.440 --> 00:23:33.039
hitting fucking bombs. It was so
nice. Yeah, it was. It

353
00:23:33.079 --> 00:23:38.119
was funny because when you, uh, you were gone. So it was

354
00:23:38.160 --> 00:23:42.680
that weekend that you were gone,
going into fourth of July, and I

355
00:23:42.759 --> 00:23:45.480
think it was Sunday, maybe it
was Saturday. I can't remember, but

356
00:23:45.519 --> 00:23:48.039
I was like, I'm gonna go
golf. It's Ellie's nap time. I

357
00:23:48.039 --> 00:23:49.960
told the wife. I said I'm
gonna go, and she goes, yeah,

358
00:23:51.039 --> 00:23:55.240
go for it. So I go. The course looks dead, nobody's

359
00:23:55.279 --> 00:23:56.839
on one. I pay and the
guy's like, yeah, I go,

360
00:23:57.039 --> 00:24:00.359
you're good. There's a group they
just eat off your I get to my

361
00:24:00.400 --> 00:24:04.039
car right when I come up,
and this guy who's probably like late fifties

362
00:24:04.359 --> 00:24:07.559
maybe early sixties, had just teed
off, and I'm like, I gonna

363
00:24:07.559 --> 00:24:11.079
wait. Not that it's gonna be
a problem, but I'm like whatever.

364
00:24:11.480 --> 00:24:12.480
So I pull up and he goes, is it just you? And I

365
00:24:12.480 --> 00:24:15.680
said yeah, and he goes,
well, go ahead and tee off.

366
00:24:15.720 --> 00:24:18.720
We'll play. And I'm just like, all right, Okay. This guy

367
00:24:18.079 --> 00:24:22.920
super nice guy named Brad. Right, I know way more about his life

368
00:24:22.960 --> 00:24:25.920
than I need to at this point. After the nine holes, I played,

369
00:24:25.920 --> 00:24:30.079
well, twelve, I should say
twelve holes. He's a he he

370
00:24:30.079 --> 00:24:34.319
he's a member there. And so
we get done with seven and he was

371
00:24:34.359 --> 00:24:37.359
like, all right, let's hop
over to twelve. And I'm like,

372
00:24:37.359 --> 00:24:38.160
well, I only paid for nine. He goes, well, we're gonna

373
00:24:38.160 --> 00:24:41.400
go play twelve, thirteen, fourteen, then come back and play eight,

374
00:24:41.519 --> 00:24:42.960
nine and then you could be done. And I'm like, well, He's

375
00:24:42.960 --> 00:24:45.039
like, yeah, it's nobody.
Nobody's gonna come out there, like who

376
00:24:45.039 --> 00:24:51.279
cares? And I'm like, okay, and mind you. I was,

377
00:24:51.359 --> 00:24:52.920
so I was a little bit worried
because now I'm playing with somebody who I

378
00:24:52.960 --> 00:24:56.799
don't know, right, and he's
one of those guys. Like what he

379
00:24:56.880 --> 00:25:04.079
reminded me was if you got like
ten strokes better on your game and never

380
00:25:04.160 --> 00:25:07.599
got any better than that and age
to sixty, that's how this guy was.

381
00:25:08.039 --> 00:25:11.079
Right, Like he could hit the
ball good, but he was never

382
00:25:11.160 --> 00:25:14.480
consistent. Yeah, right, and
then he always had an excuse. Right.

383
00:25:14.799 --> 00:25:18.720
Meanwhile, I'm just fucking teeing off
everything I'm hitting. I'm just blasting

384
00:25:19.079 --> 00:25:22.720
down. I don't think I missed
a fairway at all. That's such a

385
00:25:22.720 --> 00:25:26.039
good feeling. The only thing I
did was on whole six my first ball.

386
00:25:26.079 --> 00:25:29.079
The flag was in the front and
I went with the nine, but

387
00:25:29.119 --> 00:25:30.920
I hit to the right and I
hit the wall where the water's at,

388
00:25:32.079 --> 00:25:33.880
so I had to tee off again
and then I landed fifteen feet from the

389
00:25:33.920 --> 00:25:40.240
pin. So but then we get
on. So we're playing right, and

390
00:25:40.279 --> 00:25:44.039
then we go to twelve, go
do twelve, thirteen. We get to

391
00:25:44.119 --> 00:25:48.519
fourteen and it's zero win. It's
one hundred and one outside, so it's

392
00:25:48.559 --> 00:25:52.119
warm and there's zero win, which
for here is rare. Yeah, zero

393
00:25:52.279 --> 00:25:55.119
win. Yeah. So it's one
hundred and seventy five to the flag and

394
00:25:55.160 --> 00:25:56.119
I'm like, okay, there's no
win. Usually if there is wind,

395
00:25:56.119 --> 00:25:59.599
it's coming at you on this hole. But I'm like, all right,

396
00:25:59.720 --> 00:26:03.799
so I might give it a good
seven. Like I'm not gonna over extend

397
00:26:03.799 --> 00:26:07.400
myself, but I'm gonna give it
a full seven. The second I hit

398
00:26:07.440 --> 00:26:10.920
this ball, he's just standing on
my left. Mind you, almost every

399
00:26:10.920 --> 00:26:14.519
time we're on a T box he's
just talking. I mean just he won't

400
00:26:14.559 --> 00:26:19.279
stop, right, So it's like
whatever, the second this ball comes off

401
00:26:19.279 --> 00:26:22.200
the tee, he goes, holy
fuck, that's gonna go in. And

402
00:26:22.240 --> 00:26:26.519
I'm like, it hadn't even like
gotten. I mean, it's like a

403
00:26:26.599 --> 00:26:29.200
rocket. I mean, you've seen
me hit like close yet, but right

404
00:26:29.240 --> 00:26:30.359
it wasn't even close yet. And
I was like, it looks good.

405
00:26:30.400 --> 00:26:33.079
Like I could tell it's gonna be
on the green, right, yeah,

406
00:26:33.319 --> 00:26:37.240
you see it hit and from one
hundred and seventy yards it's hard to tell

407
00:26:37.279 --> 00:26:40.200
where your ball really is, but
you could see it. You can see

408
00:26:40.200 --> 00:26:42.000
the flag and oh cool, it'll
be on. It's on. He was

409
00:26:42.039 --> 00:26:45.880
like absolute shot and I'm like,
yeah, thanks, and like I knew

410
00:26:45.880 --> 00:26:48.079
it was a good shot right to
my where I'm standing, I'm thinking I

411
00:26:48.119 --> 00:26:53.400
got like probably a fifteen to twenty
foot put And so he gets in his

412
00:26:53.440 --> 00:26:56.799
car. I get in mind I
have to stop because my water bottle falls

413
00:26:56.799 --> 00:26:59.559
out of my cart. And then
I come up and he's he's on the

414
00:26:59.640 --> 00:27:02.559
hill to the green. He looks
at me and goes, don't even bring

415
00:27:02.559 --> 00:27:03.720
your putter, just blow the fucker
in. I was like, yeah,

416
00:27:03.759 --> 00:27:07.480
okay, and I get up onto
the green with my putter and I was

417
00:27:07.480 --> 00:27:08.960
like, fuck me, I better
go grab my camera because I gotta take

418
00:27:08.960 --> 00:27:11.319
a picture of this. And what
I should have taken a picture was I

419
00:27:11.359 --> 00:27:15.279
should have moved like like back a
couple of feet and turned a little bit,

420
00:27:15.440 --> 00:27:19.559
because so my ball was three feet
from the hole, dead on nuts,

421
00:27:19.599 --> 00:27:22.559
with the whole parallel with the hole. Yeah, and my divot was

422
00:27:22.640 --> 00:27:26.759
five feet behind my ball. So
I had had that ball literally been three

423
00:27:26.799 --> 00:27:30.200
feet to the right, it would
have been done the same thing. It

424
00:27:30.200 --> 00:27:33.319
would have right in. Yeah,
I mean, it was ridiculous. It

425
00:27:33.359 --> 00:27:36.000
was. It was a picture you
could Yeah, you could tell the picture

426
00:27:36.200 --> 00:27:37.880
from the from the picture. It
was a great shot. Yeah, it

427
00:27:37.920 --> 00:27:40.599
was. It was a good time
though. It was good. It was

428
00:27:40.599 --> 00:27:45.000
fun playing with him and then,
uh yeah it was nice. No no

429
00:27:45.039 --> 00:27:48.079
real issues, And I would have
I would have liked to have played golf

430
00:27:48.119 --> 00:27:52.279
with just me and Ryan. No
offense to the two people that came with

431
00:27:52.359 --> 00:27:56.720
us. But the one person was
old and beaten down and he couldn't fucking

432
00:27:56.759 --> 00:27:59.599
hit to save his life, and
he didn't want to be there. You

433
00:27:59.640 --> 00:28:00.839
could tell he didn't want to be
there, so I don't know why he

434
00:28:00.920 --> 00:28:04.720
fucking came. And the other was
a fourteen year old kid thirteen year old

435
00:28:04.759 --> 00:28:12.319
kid who also was the most aggravating
golfer I've ever been with. Yeah,

436
00:28:12.440 --> 00:28:17.720
not because not because he sucked,
because he actually didn't. He had some

437
00:28:17.799 --> 00:28:19.839
really good drives. He just had
a shitty attitude when he was on the

438
00:28:19.839 --> 00:28:25.160
golf course because he was frustrated with
himself. He was a very competitive person,

439
00:28:25.279 --> 00:28:29.559
and when he wasn't doing good,
which was often, Yeah, it

440
00:28:29.640 --> 00:28:33.119
was multiple times every hole, he
was getting super pissed off at himself,

441
00:28:33.160 --> 00:28:34.680
and it just made things longer.
Yeah, And I was just like,

442
00:28:34.759 --> 00:28:38.880
dude, Yeah, I've learned it. I've learned to like I might throw

443
00:28:38.920 --> 00:28:44.400
a quick tantrum, but I gotta
let it go. But I hit way

444
00:28:44.559 --> 00:28:47.680
better than I used to. I'm
way more consistent. So the only time

445
00:28:47.720 --> 00:28:49.440
I get pissed off is when I'm
having a really good, consistent time and

446
00:28:49.480 --> 00:28:52.240
then i just have something out of
the blue happen. Yeah, and it

447
00:28:52.440 --> 00:28:56.240
like like I'm set up for a
great second shot, and then you know,

448
00:28:56.799 --> 00:29:00.759
well that's why I was all day. I was driving phenomen After the

449
00:29:00.799 --> 00:29:06.480
first couple holes, I was driving
phenomenal, and then my second shot was

450
00:29:06.480 --> 00:29:11.519
you was on average better than not
better than it has been recently anyway.

451
00:29:11.039 --> 00:29:17.359
But then I was like four putting
or I was like three chippin' and then

452
00:29:17.400 --> 00:29:18.839
I would like one putt, but
I was like three chipping to get to

453
00:29:18.880 --> 00:29:22.440
get up there. But that's okay, because if you can consistently get that

454
00:29:22.559 --> 00:29:26.519
first and second shot down, then
you practice the other shit. But then

455
00:29:26.559 --> 00:29:29.759
what will happen is your other shit. You're chipping will be great, You're

456
00:29:29.759 --> 00:29:33.119
putting will be great, but your
drives are terrible. Like it's it's always

457
00:29:33.279 --> 00:29:40.000
piecing everything together. That's the difference
between the average golfer the the average golfer

458
00:29:40.279 --> 00:29:44.240
like semi pro and then a pro. Yeah, like the pro has everything

459
00:29:44.279 --> 00:29:48.880
and very seldomly do they have missed
shots of any kind correct and even if

460
00:29:48.880 --> 00:29:52.079
they do, it's still better than
what you're gonna do. Oh yeah,

461
00:29:52.200 --> 00:29:56.079
but that's just their misses. Their
misses aren't out of bounds misses, or

462
00:29:56.119 --> 00:30:00.480
their misses aren't ten feet in front
of your Their misses our back of the

463
00:30:00.519 --> 00:30:04.000
green missus. Their misses are top
of the hill, you know, bunker

464
00:30:04.079 --> 00:30:08.680
kind of misses. And when they're
in the rough the course they're playing is

465
00:30:10.079 --> 00:30:12.480
like they might have only landed in
the rough by three feet, right,

466
00:30:12.480 --> 00:30:15.680
three hundred and thirty yard drive.
They just it bounced into the rough and

467
00:30:15.720 --> 00:30:19.200
now they're hitting out a seven inch
grass. Yeah. So they're like,

468
00:30:19.200 --> 00:30:22.319
oh, what a shitty shot,
And I'm like, I think that shit

469
00:30:22.440 --> 00:30:27.079
the ball of plastic. But that's
the difference, right, And we're hitting

470
00:30:27.079 --> 00:30:32.799
away from rocks and fucking snakes,
yeah pretty much. Yeah whatever. So

471
00:30:33.759 --> 00:30:36.920
so, but so then I get
back to I get back to the grind

472
00:30:37.160 --> 00:30:41.720
right Monday. I'm rejuvenated and I'm
ready to go, and I get on

473
00:30:41.759 --> 00:30:45.640
the highway and my fucking car light
comes on and then all of a sudden,

474
00:30:45.680 --> 00:30:48.200
my fucking car says it's overheating,
and I'm like, what the fuck?

475
00:30:48.599 --> 00:30:51.039
So I slow down a little bit, I get ready to get off.

476
00:30:51.200 --> 00:30:53.240
I'm like, I should probably get
off. All the alarms go off,

477
00:30:53.880 --> 00:30:57.559
and I'm like, oh, Kate, I guess I'll keep going.

478
00:31:00.119 --> 00:31:03.880
Right. Must have been a weird
fucking freak thing, like like, we're

479
00:31:03.880 --> 00:31:07.920
good, Yeah, we're good.
Get about ten miles out of town and

480
00:31:07.119 --> 00:31:11.759
everything comes back on and I'm like, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,

481
00:31:11.920 --> 00:31:15.680
what's going on? So I stop
at the Pride station, the gas

482
00:31:15.759 --> 00:31:21.400
station that's in between our city and
my work, right it's not quite it's

483
00:31:21.480 --> 00:31:25.880
just shy a halfway. Yeah,
no fluid in my fucking radiator. Oh,

484
00:31:26.079 --> 00:31:30.160
I'm like, uh oh, fuck, fill that bad bitch up.

485
00:31:30.440 --> 00:31:33.240
Some steam comes out, like shit, Okay, there's definitely a problem somewhere.

486
00:31:33.839 --> 00:31:37.480
Let's see if I can make it
home. I turn around and go

487
00:31:37.519 --> 00:31:40.880
to get home. I'm coming back
up the hill, coming into town,

488
00:31:41.119 --> 00:31:45.119
and there's fucking smoke pissing out of
my engine and I'm pulled over. The

489
00:31:45.160 --> 00:31:48.880
car fucking stops and I'm like,
son of a bitch, wait for a

490
00:31:48.960 --> 00:31:52.720
tow trut. I get it towed, and I need a whole new engine

491
00:31:52.759 --> 00:31:59.079
because there's a fucking crack in the
block. Jeezus. Yep. Eleven dollars,

492
00:32:00.160 --> 00:32:04.759
which isn't it dead? Isn't bad? All things considered? They yeah,

493
00:32:04.799 --> 00:32:07.319
I mean you don't want to drop
eleven, honey, But all things

494
00:32:07.359 --> 00:32:10.960
considered, I was waiting for you
to finish sentence eleven grand yeah. Yeah.

495
00:32:12.039 --> 00:32:15.200
And so luckily enough, luckily enough, the people that are replacing it

496
00:32:15.240 --> 00:32:20.119
for me are friends of mine,
and they were treating me right. That's

497
00:32:20.160 --> 00:32:22.799
good. That's eleven hundred bucks.
It's still a lot of money that I

498
00:32:22.839 --> 00:32:25.359
don't want to fork out, but
it could have been a whole lot worse.

499
00:32:27.000 --> 00:32:29.119
And now I'm down a car for
two and a half weeks, which

500
00:32:29.160 --> 00:32:32.400
does suck. That does indeed suck
because everything is behind and it takes an

501
00:32:32.440 --> 00:32:38.920
hour in a fucking month to get
anything. So well, take a break.

502
00:32:39.000 --> 00:32:40.960
Yeah, you want to take a
quick news break, Sure, let's

503
00:32:40.960 --> 00:32:47.680
do it. Breaking news. Wow, God news for you. I got

504
00:32:47.680 --> 00:32:54.440
some bad news playing. Welcome back
to Channel D News. I'm your host,

505
00:32:54.559 --> 00:33:00.559
Squirt mud Bottom joining me later.
I think we have another animal update

506
00:33:00.759 --> 00:33:04.519
and we're gonna get some weather in
our first story. Though. Key West,

507
00:33:04.559 --> 00:33:07.279
Florida, New York had its hot
dog eating contest to celebrate Independence Day,

508
00:33:07.279 --> 00:33:12.599
but the Florida Keys had a sweeter
alternative. That Tuesday, the key

509
00:33:12.680 --> 00:33:16.200
Lime Pie eating Championship in key West, where key Lime Pie originated, was

510
00:33:16.240 --> 00:33:24.160
won by Joshua Mogul, a thirty
eight year old Altoona, Iowa tire manufacturing

511
00:33:24.200 --> 00:33:29.960
manager. Jesus Christ who writes these
articles gotta get a new intern in here.

512
00:33:30.599 --> 00:33:34.960
Mago plunged face first into a nine
inch pie smothered with whipped cream.

513
00:33:36.119 --> 00:33:37.480
When talked to his wife, she
said, yeah, he's great at eating

514
00:33:37.559 --> 00:33:44.559
cream. Pies oo faceful and nasty. Let's go to Uh, let's go

515
00:33:44.599 --> 00:33:46.519
to Creepy Dave. What do you
got for ust, Creepy Dave? Today

516
00:33:46.680 --> 00:33:52.559
is my favorite beast animal called plopperty
Plusses. As you can see, plopperty

517
00:33:52.599 --> 00:33:55.559
Plus is a duck trying to escape
from the inside of a beaver. Don't

518
00:33:55.559 --> 00:33:59.960
worry, it's okay. They work
as a team. The duck park lady

519
00:34:00.039 --> 00:34:04.200
eggs for the beaver, part to
eat beaver, part glexa for the duck

520
00:34:04.279 --> 00:34:07.960
to make tiny boats. Sad for
you, they are in danger. Did

521
00:34:07.519 --> 00:34:12.519
they drink too much or don't find
a job, so give property plus a

522
00:34:12.599 --> 00:34:15.960
job. Maybe they make that tiny
boats for you. It's the best animal.

523
00:34:15.360 --> 00:34:23.679
Okay, bye, Okay, Creepy
Dave, thank you. Platypus like

524
00:34:23.760 --> 00:34:28.119
Perry the platypus. Are we talking? I don't I don't know. Uh.

525
00:34:28.239 --> 00:34:30.880
Weather update. Let's let's go to
our correspondent, Frankie from Nova Scotia.

526
00:34:30.920 --> 00:34:37.639
How are you, Frankie? Sounds
like it's clouding over now it's started

527
00:34:37.719 --> 00:34:39.920
light, you know, Oh my
god, it's rained a lot of honey

528
00:34:40.000 --> 00:34:50.480
range. It's raining more honey range. Honey range are getting heavier, bring

529
00:34:50.559 --> 00:34:54.760
so much any range, faultless gun, A lot of honey range falltle this

530
00:34:54.840 --> 00:35:01.280
guy. Now, honey rings are
getting even more heavier, all done more

531
00:35:01.320 --> 00:35:10.480
heavy, honey rangel. Honey rings
won't stop. Oh my god, honey

532
00:35:10.519 --> 00:35:21.159
rings mixed with ketchup and mustard and
salt peppers. Oh my god, honeysus

533
00:35:22.440 --> 00:35:28.639
even more honey rangel along will running
range. It won't stop at all,

534
00:35:30.079 --> 00:35:37.079
It stops landing out Sney rings finally
got away. Jesus Christ, thank you,

535
00:35:37.119 --> 00:35:42.079
Frankie. Be safe out there from
those honey rings. Uh. Maybe

536
00:35:42.079 --> 00:35:45.000
some barbecue sauce and ranch with those
sons of bitches next time. I don't

537
00:35:45.000 --> 00:35:49.480
know. I hope to god storms
coming back sometime soon. I don't know

538
00:35:49.519 --> 00:35:52.639
how much more Frankie I can take, but thanks for the weather update.

539
00:35:52.760 --> 00:35:57.079
I guess it's raining onion rings.
People and Iowa Man in our last story

540
00:35:57.199 --> 00:36:01.440
as a collection of seventy thousand pencils
and is being evaluated as a possible world

541
00:36:01.480 --> 00:36:05.880
record. When talked to him,
he said he's just hoping he doesn't come

542
00:36:05.880 --> 00:36:10.079
in number two for Channel Dy News. I'm scoring my bottom for a creepy

543
00:36:10.119 --> 00:36:16.920
Dave and Frankie. We'll catch you
next time. Quote fake news, fake

544
00:36:17.039 --> 00:36:22.800
news. You are fake news.
It's all fake news, fake news.

545
00:36:23.519 --> 00:36:31.280
It's told me stuff it didn't happen. It's all fake news. Thank you

546
00:36:31.280 --> 00:36:35.519
Trump for your fake news comments.
That's a lot of wood, man,

547
00:36:35.719 --> 00:36:39.440
it's a lot of wood. It's
a lot of wood. Seventy thousand pencils.

548
00:36:39.880 --> 00:36:45.639
I wonder what that would look like, Yeah, stacked up, stacked

549
00:36:45.679 --> 00:36:46.639
up on you like, and how
do you stack? Okay, well,

550
00:36:47.280 --> 00:36:52.920
I wonder how long that would extend
if you put seventy thousand pencils together,

551
00:36:52.519 --> 00:36:54.840
end to end. I wonder how
long? What do you think a pencil

552
00:36:54.960 --> 00:36:59.280
is? Like, I don't know, for four to six right before you

553
00:36:59.400 --> 00:37:04.039
before you shave down. Yeah,
so a lot. I don't want to

554
00:37:04.079 --> 00:37:06.480
talk about math right now. I
don't know. It's a lot. Yeah,

555
00:37:06.519 --> 00:37:08.800
it's at least three feet oh,
at least maybe three and a half

556
00:37:08.920 --> 00:37:12.960
at least. Just don't ask me
to spell it. Oh that reminds me,

557
00:37:13.320 --> 00:37:20.480
so CALLI. Okay, Kelly got
me with this knocknock? Who's there?

558
00:37:21.440 --> 00:37:29.880
Spell? Spell? Who? Who? The only reason why she got

559
00:37:29.920 --> 00:37:34.880
me was because yesterday I watched hocus
Pocus. So when she fucking said the

560
00:37:34.920 --> 00:37:39.400
word spell, my mind went to
magic and not the actual action of spell,

561
00:37:40.400 --> 00:37:43.960
and she fucking got me. So
when I answered her, I was

562
00:37:44.000 --> 00:37:47.159
like, spell who with confidence,
dude with confidence? I was spell who?

563
00:37:47.920 --> 00:37:55.639
And she just looked and she was
like, motherfucker, that's good stuff.

564
00:37:58.840 --> 00:38:07.880
So soon soon we're talking six weeks, six weeks football starts. Yeah,

565
00:38:07.960 --> 00:38:15.159
give or take right. I want
right now, your choice of sauce.

566
00:38:15.920 --> 00:38:21.079
Top five wing sauces, not dipping
sauces, flavor sauces. So so

567
00:38:21.440 --> 00:38:24.159
when when I get the wings there
rolled they are they are. And we're

568
00:38:24.159 --> 00:38:28.559
talking real traditional wings, not buoneless
wings. We're talking wings. Yeah,

569
00:38:28.599 --> 00:38:31.920
they are used in the juice,
as the French say, right, okay,

570
00:38:32.039 --> 00:38:36.280
okay, yes, So if you
want it, I will give you

571
00:38:36.360 --> 00:38:42.000
number five. Number five is any
kind of garlic parmesan, okay, like

572
00:38:42.000 --> 00:38:45.960
a like a dry rub kind of
a bet. It can be a buttery

573
00:38:45.039 --> 00:38:49.119
garlic parmesan. It can be wet
or dry. Either one doesn't matter.

574
00:38:49.880 --> 00:38:52.960
As number five. That is an
easy solid number five, because I'll never

575
00:38:53.000 --> 00:38:57.360
say no to it, but I
won't actively look for it. Right.

576
00:38:58.360 --> 00:39:05.719
Number four is gonna be Number four
is gonna be barbecue sauce okay, right,

577
00:39:05.880 --> 00:39:08.440
like, yeah, just a normal
barbecue sauce. I kind of like

578
00:39:08.480 --> 00:39:12.599
normal barbecue sauce on those wings.
But those have to be crispy, right,

579
00:39:12.639 --> 00:39:15.840
because you can't you can't just come
at me first off, all these

580
00:39:15.840 --> 00:39:17.800
wings. You can't just come at
me with that limp dick, you know,

581
00:39:17.920 --> 00:39:22.880
like flappy skin. Look at the
only time I'd be crispy, correct,

582
00:39:22.079 --> 00:39:25.760
Yes, the only time I want
a nice flappy skin is on my

583
00:39:25.840 --> 00:39:31.199
girl. That's it. Yeah,
Yeah, that's it. Then number three,

584
00:39:31.440 --> 00:39:34.760
right, No, I'm on number
three, Yeah, I'm on number

585
00:39:34.800 --> 00:39:38.800
three. Number three is gonna be
a spicier sauce like a hot buffalo.

586
00:39:39.159 --> 00:39:44.559
Okay, okay, traditional hot buffalo, a little hotter than traditional. Traditional

587
00:39:44.679 --> 00:39:47.360
is actually my number one. So
like a Frank's red hot sauce type buffalo

588
00:39:47.400 --> 00:39:51.559
sauce is gonna be number one because
that's what I like, That's what I

589
00:39:51.599 --> 00:39:53.599
go for. I actually my favorite
sauce, believe it or not, is

590
00:39:53.599 --> 00:39:58.880
from Burger King, and it's their
regular. I think it's medium. They

591
00:39:58.920 --> 00:40:04.559
call it medium medium bar medium buffalo
sauce. Okay, from from from pizza.

592
00:40:04.840 --> 00:40:07.480
It's so fucking good. Did I
say Burger King? You did?

593
00:40:07.599 --> 00:40:09.480
I was. I was like,
all right, I was wondering why your

594
00:40:09.519 --> 00:40:12.800
face went weird. I don't know
why. I said, Burger King,

595
00:40:13.239 --> 00:40:19.599
pizza hot okay, pizza hut.
They're they're traditional wings. They're swear.

596
00:40:19.599 --> 00:40:22.880
I haven't been drinking their traditional wings. I think it's their medium sauce.

597
00:40:22.920 --> 00:40:29.079
That's number one. Number two is
actually when you mix barbecue sauce and hot

598
00:40:29.119 --> 00:40:31.920
sauce together. HoTT a cue,
Yes, the hot aque. That's number

599
00:40:31.920 --> 00:40:37.159
two. What about? And number
one is traditional and number one is traditional?

600
00:40:37.320 --> 00:40:39.159
Yeah, okay. So number five, I'm actually gonna go with a

601
00:40:39.599 --> 00:40:43.679
dry style. It's the only one
that I actually like. And it's salt

602
00:40:43.679 --> 00:40:47.519
and vinegar. Okay, salt vinegar
wings. The first time I ever tried

603
00:40:47.519 --> 00:40:51.400
on was at bashes. But the
Safeway I have had theirs, they're pretty

604
00:40:51.440 --> 00:40:55.000
good. And those no dipping sauce, just the wing, salt vinegar.

605
00:40:55.119 --> 00:41:02.880
That's it. Number four. Number
four I'm gonna go with like like the

606
00:41:02.960 --> 00:41:12.119
Frank's Buffalo Okay, yeah, number
I'm actually that's number three. Number four,

607
00:41:12.360 --> 00:41:15.599
I actually I'm the only time I
like it is back in the day

608
00:41:15.599 --> 00:41:19.639
from Buffalo Wild Wings, but it
was their tariaki. I'm usually not a

609
00:41:19.679 --> 00:41:22.639
tariokei wing kind of guy, but
the tariaki from Buffalo Wings was pretty good.

610
00:41:22.639 --> 00:41:24.719
I don't know if they still haven't. I haven't been there in years

611
00:41:24.760 --> 00:41:28.239
ago. It might be ten years
since I've been at a Buffalo Wings,

612
00:41:28.280 --> 00:41:31.920
maybe longer. Uh So Number three
traditional Buffalo mine as well. Number two

613
00:41:32.320 --> 00:41:36.559
is hot, a cue hot and
barbecue mix. I don't like barbecue wings,

614
00:41:36.599 --> 00:41:39.840
but hot barbecue together phenomenal. And
then number one is a hot,

615
00:41:40.079 --> 00:41:45.360
just a nice heat hot, and
I like it drenched in sauce like I

616
00:41:45.480 --> 00:41:50.239
like it so that it gets under
my fingernails and when I pick my ass

617
00:41:50.320 --> 00:41:52.519
later or like pick my nose,
I'm gonna feel it. I'm gonna feel

618
00:41:52.559 --> 00:41:59.000
it. So those would be the
what you can only pick one? One

619
00:41:59.119 --> 00:42:01.639
dipping sauce for your wings? What
are you taking? I don't dip mine

620
00:42:01.639 --> 00:42:05.360
in anything. Nothing. Yeah,
I don't dip them in ranch or blue

621
00:42:05.440 --> 00:42:07.639
cheese or anything like that. I
don't dip my wings, Okay, I'm

622
00:42:07.679 --> 00:42:09.719
not a dipper, so even if
they're dry, I don't dip them.

623
00:42:09.760 --> 00:42:14.719
Okay for me, I would choose
if I have the choice. I want

624
00:42:14.760 --> 00:42:17.199
blue cheese, but I don't like
blue cheese out of a bottle, but

625
00:42:17.320 --> 00:42:21.800
bar blue cheese is different, Like
if it's made in the bar, it

626
00:42:21.840 --> 00:42:24.679
doesn't have that paint, thinner smell
and taste to it. Like bottle blue

627
00:42:24.719 --> 00:42:29.760
cheese is disgusting. I don't like. I don't like bottled ranch. Though

628
00:42:29.840 --> 00:42:31.960
there's people that love and swear by
ranch, like oh, Hidden Valley Ranch.

629
00:42:32.079 --> 00:42:36.239
No, give me bar, give
me homemade. Like Vetos here in

630
00:42:36.320 --> 00:42:39.559
town, their ranch, which is
homemade, is fantastic. So I will

631
00:42:39.719 --> 00:42:44.639
I'll take their ranch because I don't
think they have blue cheese, but Chili's

632
00:42:44.639 --> 00:42:47.400
blue cheese is fantastic. I think
Vito's ranch is made with mayonnaise, by

633
00:42:47.400 --> 00:42:51.039
the way, it might it might
be. I feel like it has a

634
00:42:51.079 --> 00:42:52.280
little bit of a sour cream to
it. It might be a mix of

635
00:42:52.400 --> 00:42:55.639
both. But yeah, so it
could just be that it sits there for

636
00:42:55.679 --> 00:43:00.519
long enough that the mayonnaise goes sour. Yeah, that's true. Picture it's

637
00:43:00.599 --> 00:43:05.360
Vetos mixture. Whatever. Okay,
well, uh let's let's wrap this bitch

638
00:43:05.440 --> 00:43:07.519
up and do some moutroplex. Okay, you want to do them or you

639
00:43:07.559 --> 00:43:10.880
want me to do I'll do them. Hey, you can find us on

640
00:43:12.440 --> 00:43:15.000
all your socials. You just got
to look up dads on day quill.

641
00:43:15.079 --> 00:43:20.559
That's two l's for you, laby
a licking motherfuckers maybe a licking lady a

642
00:43:20.599 --> 00:43:22.239
licking Yeah, and then, uh, you know, if you want to

643
00:43:22.360 --> 00:43:25.480
go ahead and sign up for our
Patreon, you can find it on link

644
00:43:25.519 --> 00:43:31.280
tree. That's l I n K
t R dot e E forward slash dad's

645
00:43:31.280 --> 00:43:35.840
on day quo he are e Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think you

646
00:43:35.840 --> 00:43:37.000
got it. Yeah, I think
you got it. Just fuck around with

647
00:43:37.000 --> 00:43:39.360
it. See what you can do, you know, see what you come

648
00:43:39.440 --> 00:43:42.840
up with. That's right. Just
come join us, Come join the fun.

649
00:43:43.480 --> 00:43:45.239
You know, our our extra dose
is pretty cool. You can get

650
00:43:45.239 --> 00:43:47.400
a whole lot of extra stuff.
You can get in for some merch,

651
00:43:47.519 --> 00:43:50.639
free merch. All you gotta do
is just sign up. Man, need

652
00:43:50.639 --> 00:43:52.719
three, five, twenty, whatever
you want to do. I don't care.

653
00:43:52.159 --> 00:43:55.480
Yeah. Yeah, one guy just
gave us some bitcoin. Shout out

654
00:43:55.480 --> 00:43:58.559
to that guy, whoever that guy's
name is. Yeah, it's probably got

655
00:43:58.599 --> 00:44:01.760
some weird funings for Oh, I
guess should probably get his name huh off

656
00:44:01.800 --> 00:44:06.159
of the insta. Yeah, the
insta Graham, you can do that.

657
00:44:06.320 --> 00:44:09.800
Lucas Wilson, Lucas Wilson Lucas Wilson, Thank you, sir. Maybe maybe

658
00:44:09.880 --> 00:44:15.079
Lucas Wilson can message you wherever he
messaged you at, and maybe we can.

659
00:44:15.119 --> 00:44:17.760
If you're a real person and you
are really listening to this, maybe

660
00:44:17.760 --> 00:44:22.360
you can reach back to us and
we can send you something appreciation for just

661
00:44:22.360 --> 00:44:27.280
for listening and saying that you enjoy
the show. We thank you. So

662
00:44:27.559 --> 00:44:31.599
anyway, Dad's on Deco episode one. We'll catch you next week. Peace

663
00:44:31.639 --> 00:44:37.280
out later, I got a two
parter of for you, don Okay,

664
00:44:37.400 --> 00:44:44.800
what's better than winning gold in the
Paralympics? Walking? Walking? Yeah?

665
00:44:44.840 --> 00:45:27.960
Why did Stevie Wonder crash his bus? He couldn't see from his back seat sh