This is not dude, expect to be Danny. It's time to stray from
the totus. You'll find no be s side Coast. Hey everyone, and
welcome to side Quest, the every other week fuckery that is authors and Dragons
when we're not doing a game. My name is Rick Qulterion. I am
joined this week by Rachel Carr a k A R. E. Carr and
person in background that was your cover art? Oh hi erg that and MK
Gibson slash slash Gibbie what up? I feel like Harry from Nightcourt, like
he was like he only became a judge because he was there when they called.
So all these appearances I've been having on the show just I'm just available
all the time. So, I mean, you didn't realize that Night Court
is one of my favorite shows of all time, and thus it's one of
the best shows ever made, a full time classic. I never watched the
I got the joy of introducing British accent to it who had never seen it,
so I got to watch it all again with someone who had no idea.
He's like, why is data a hicck? Except he said it in
a British accent. It was like why is data a hicking the horrible accent
that he hates on purpose? You should just do the entire episode. Oh
you just dial up there? Yeah, whatever I want, ever get laid.
I saw a spotted dick today, I did. Alright, Actually,
spotted dick is rather tasty. I won't lie. But when your mother in
law prepares, it's funny that Rachel should say spotted dick. Because one of
the things that we were gonna do tonight is we wanted to see what's going
on in Rachel's box. What's in the box? That's right, it's it's
sexual harassment live on. No, no, no, no, it's Rachel's
mystery box. Yes I have. I was a little junior adventurer told me
that a box would be coming, and it had something to do with the
side quest and considering I recently discussed the surprise anal rape and talking Tiger,
I am genuinely frightened this might be shot a woman and show us your box.
I have this image of like just pubic hair and a question mark.
So all right, if you're watching on YouTube, you're now seeing Rachel's box,
And if you're not watching on YouTube, you're not, in which case,
you were missing out. Well, I will describe my box for those
who are listening. It's rather large, but not particularly girthy. It looks
like it could take a bunch. It is light brown and well taped.
How much do you think could fit in your box? It's pretty sizable.
I mean we could get maybe a raccoon. How many ferrets can fit in
your box? At least this is a six ferret box or one chunky raccoon
box. Okay, okay for the people listening, Judge rattle slightly as I
hold it, but I think we should bet before we open it comes to
your box? Is there any barrier to entry to your box? Dear God,
this is like taped in an Olympian shoulder after like playing beach volleyball.
Okay, I'm just wondering how many of our readers are They're going I want
to stick my ferret into Rachel's box. Please at least probably there's at least
three, I guarantee it. So there's one thing you learn about being female
presenting on the internet, all three of them, is that no matter what,
somebody at some point is going to send you a random picture of their
junk, and you hope it's just for Facebook marketplace. All right, you
heard it right here. Send Rachel a picture of your ferret. Okay,
I will accept pictures of ferrets. I do love ferrets. I think they're
quite cute. I prefer cats and dogs, and I like snakes too,
So so what she means is draw whiskers on the on your dick. So
no, I don't have about meat ferrets. Okay, we're talking about actual
fluffy, happy little fancy. All right, Coto and Podo right down the
shaft. Put some whist. I have hugged the beast master. I outrank
you in this on the Codo and Potoso. The hilarious thing is all animals
are made of meat. Yet you can make this name of any animal dirty
by adding meat before its name. Come come to my farm. I want
to show you my meat cow. David, do you wait it till I
was literally putting the tea in my mouth. That was a total dick move
for those who aren't watching, He waited till the cup was heading to my
mouth. The chair. There's my meat dog. Well, my meat cat
is right here sniffing my box. Poor griff. Everyone, by the way,
thank you for your well wishes. My cat, Griff is doing better.
It was very rough week. I'm still traumatized by the things I have
witnessed and cleaned up. But he is doing better now. So everyone who
wished him well, thank you. Hey meat cat, Yes, meat cat?
All right. So I think before we open my box for the public
to see, I think we should take some place your bets, Gibby,
what do you think is waiting for me in my box? All right?
Well, see we're at a disadvantage. So how heavy is the box?
The box is actually not particularly heavy. I would say it weighs about a
ferret and half a fair and half of waits. We're measuring ferrets and the
dimensions of the of the of the box. It's a six ferret box especially,
I mean, like, how many ferrets wide? How many ferrets tall?
One? Two? Three ferrets wide? Could you turn it towards the
camera. You've met Rachel. You know how large she is? Okay,
So it's it's a rectangular. It is a rectangular box. At least three
ferrets length wise across, and two rolled up would fit in there too,
all right. And you said something rattles inside of it. It does rattle
slightly, but it could be a box within my box. No, that's
what I'm saying. It's Could it be a frame art print? It could,
It could be multiple like it does sound like something's moving in there,
because it doesn't sound like books, like graphic novels or something like that movie.
No, if it is, it would be it could be comic books.
Yeah, but you wouldn't put him in there like that, So something
like that. I'm I think I know what a frame dick pic, meat
snake. No meat ferret. We're doing ferrets tonight. No. No,
if it's a dick pic, it's a meat snake. I'm gonna tell you.
I know exactly what it is, and I know why it's rattling.
So it is a stuffed tiger. And what's rattling are like a bunch of
a bunch of ben Wa balls sticking. It's gaping up, stuffed anal orifice.
I hate. I am gonna guess, knowing my track record, that
it is probably an enormous octopus dildo. Question track record, So this makes
it. There's been several octopus dildos in the past. How many oct octo
dongs have you gotten? How many have I received from fans? How many
options, no octo dogs, but I have received a speculum. I have
received multiple statues of Octopi doing multiple things, and I got My personal favorite
is Cthulhu cause playing as doctor Ian Malcolm from UH from Everyone Knows My Blood
feud with Michael Crichton. Yes, the Jurassic Park scene with Jeff gold Bloom
lounging. So it is that head of cth was sent to me and it
is Prime related? What if it's Optimist prime related? What? Okay,
fantastic. So here's the thing To the unknown person who sent this. If
it's not an Optimus Prime, you were wrong and I'm going to want to
publicly shame them ahead of time for this poor gift. If they had listening,
they would have known. And if it's not, I I'm sorry.
I won't apologize ahead of time. You know it's probably going to be something
with surprise Annle and a tiger or octopus dildo or something with Joe. One
way to find out there is as a furry tiger getting a violated only kids
only consensual here. You don't know what's going on that box. Okay.
The thing is, though I can't get my hopes up because full disclosure.
If you didn't hear it before, I I growing up was not the most
girly girl on the planet. If you can't tell, I've heard a time
or two, maybe, Yeah, all I wanted desperately as a little kid,
Every Christmas, every Birthday. I just wanted an optimist prime so badly,
and my family gave me barbies because they wanted to convert me from my
flannel wearing. I'm sure they assumed eventual carpet lick days. Boy did I
surprise the one I actually married something vaguely male presenting, but like it's one
of those things, like it sounds so stupid and considering I'm the person that
is deathly afraid. Oh that's the only thing is that British accent. Was
like, please don't let it be a banana, because somebody might not get
that I am legitimately, unabashedly terrified of anthropomorphic bananas. Like you can't even
joke, Like I have a whole squad of people on the Internet whose sole
purpose is to protect me from anthropomorphic bananas. But that is the one thing
I'm afraid of. So if you hear a scream one, I'm sorry Steeves
for the uh for whatever happens. But yeah, I mean the truth is
I don't know, but I can never get my hopes up because it was
literally how afraid are we of these anthropmorphic bananas? I had to be escorted
bawling and sobbing from a Trader Joe's. Was this last Thursday? Or no?
This was two a half three year It was just it was like twenty
nineteen. Someone got back as an anthropomorphic banana as their costume at the Trader
Joe's giveaway stand and I dropped all my groceries and was sobbing, and luckily
the very nice employees helped me out of the store and let British accent pay
for my groceries and helped pack up the things I dropped in Battle one in
game that would be a no, yeah, that would be a big note
like legit, I had to go to therapy. For those who don't know
the do you want to know the reason why I'm afraid of anthropomorphic bananas?
We've come so far? Okay? When I was about sixteen seventeen years old,
I got a horrific case of scarlet fever from a flu like a secondary
infection. My fever went up to one hundred and six. My entire body
locked up. I could barely move and everything hurt, and I was stuck
on the couch in a half fugue state. And the commercial for bananas in
pajamas came on while I was in pain, and it burned a trigger in
my mind that if I see, particularly the bananas in pajamas or anything fruit
of the loom banana guy dressed up at Trader does, I'm so sorry that
you had to leave your shift because somebody freaked out Party City. I couldn't
go trick or treating with my son one year because there was an anthropomorphic zombie
banana. Yeah, ever since then, like it is a legit diagnosed critical
phobia. It is very difficult to live with, but fortunately very rare,
except on the Internet occasionally. But as I said, I have nothing but
love for all of my wonderful fans on the internet who protect me from so
let me just jump in here. Literally last week I had to like,
I had to tell Rachel you might want to stay off my like my twitter
feed, because suddenly my Twitter feed was just full of just anthropomo bananas.
And I have no idea why it was I'm looking through it and I'm like,
it is fucked, you know. But I was just like, for
me, that's just weird. I was like, yeah, Rachel, you
might want to stay out. I mean, honestly, you probably want to
stay off of Twitter these days anyway, but that was like an extra stay
maybe stay off of Twitter for the next twenty four hours until this shit.
Yeah. And it's weird because every once in a while, if it's really
bad and scared, I feel the pain, like I can't control it.
The pain from being locked up with that fever comes back and like my jaw
clenches, I can't move my arms. It's it's awful and horrible. And
brains are stupid. Sometimes. You know, one day you're gonna get huge,
like one of your books are gonna like go go cat as tropically,
like you know, to the stratosphere, and you're gonna get a call and
it's gonna be likea banana wants you to be wants to be your sponsor.
And then I would mean, hopefully at that point I can afford even better
therapy, and maybe I got to the point, like an exposure therapy where
they would show like I will say an anthropomorphic bananza. Banana saved my life
once because I was having an anaphylactic response and couldn't get to my EPI pen
very quickly. And literally they're showing me pictures of anthropomorphic bananas to cause the
panic response and make my own adrenaline dump until I could could get to emergency
care. This this is like such a deep fucking cut. It is a
very deep cut. But I have way more interaction with Ani. Why are
you why don't you worry about vampires? This, this itself is, like
you know, is the best story, right? People will send them to
me like I have to. It's one of those things I really have to
work through my trauma before I can know the way. The way to get
people to never send you it is to tell people that you love it,
especially on teamwat Wabble. Then you will never see it again. That is.
I will say that the the twat Waffles are wonderful. They are some
of the people that will they banana police. They will stop it like nobody
and I love them for it. So have we have we delayed long enough?
Do you guys want to know what's in the in the box? In
the box, it's really taped like you have no idea? How like,
clearly nobody wanted me to get into my box. It's gonna take a little
effort here. You're right, ear folks. It takes a bit of effort
into Rachel's box. Takes a pair of scissors. It takes an edged weapon
to get into her box, or a British accent. Oops? Did I
say that out loud? Dear god, what lake you gotta do? The
other side? Did one side come? I? Well, it's hoping it.
Would it help if we spoke in British accents? Yeah, as long
as you don't start making me do shreksy again. Oh my god, it's
like so difficult. I don't know why. I suddenly sounded like a softcore
port. Okay, we have opened the box. Okay, Survey says,
waiting to see if the screams come. I think it's a tear there.
It is. Ah see, I was right. For fans listening, she
got an Opimus Prime. That is that is that is serious emotion for optimist
Prime. Hear that Megatron You never you never get that, neither does Grimlock.
How fuck you? Man? Oh I said that? Fuck you?
I said it just for you. Fucking you know something. I I have
something that will ruin that. I have something that will ruin this, that
good mood, this useless motherfucker here, Oh hot rod, God, that's
son of a Oh. I don't even no, no, no, he's
still hot ride in me. I will never recognize his prime status like that
is. At least it's hot riding. Was kind of cool. We got
a Judd Nelson vibe. Obviously. One of my favorite scenes is from the
is from the Return of Optimist. Prime or Optimist comes back and just punches
him in the face, right, Like, what did you do to my
thought about it? I did? I mean? It wasn't Judd Nelson in
the comics. Was it was just in the movie. I don't know who
did it. I should know someone else did the voice. Someone else said
the voice in the in the show. But Judd Nelson. Now take it
out of the box and play with it. It's a box at a box.
Come on, you gotta transform it live on exactly, dude. I
hope it's just a picture and behind it's banana. I am opening the box
within my box. Hey fans who sent her that, thank you very very
much. Now I would like success if you could send me that, and
that'd be fantastic as well. And oh god, he's got the stickers and
everything. I don't need success, but if somebody wants to send me that
five hundred dollars unicron, I'll take that. I don't want the unicorn.
I want the fucking grimlock that walks. And oh we like twenty five hundred
dollars grimlock that that transformed fourteen hundred let's be let's be real. Oh good,
he deflated that fast, being a weak dinosaur that he is. Oh
my god, it's got the stickers. It's got the stickers. I've waited
almost forty years for this moment. You can put on your shelf and your
cats and me, they're gonna be like, knock it off. Oh my
god, oh god, that happened to my uh my, my vera tech
my son, like just I had it up on the shelf and he just
like not smashed scouting. It's yeah, I have MP one optimist prime.
He is missing a part because I gave him to my youngest and my youngest
was like, oh this is so great. Bam like a hammer. Yeah,
yeah, god, this is not very environmentally conscious packing. Of course,
not. It's a transformer like more than meet the eye, like like
you they think of, think of like you know how many children died in
a sweatshop to bring you optimist? Oh you can't take my joy away?
Crying camera like a little bit. How does this thing workwer button all over
the front, Like there's right here they go right here, this whole thing
right here. Pull his arms out there you out and pull that. Oh
give it? You just see the one they're they're they're coming out with.
They're coming out with pretty much it's like the g one Optimist Prime, but
fully articulated. Yes, I saw that, but I say they also doing
on O Ryan packs figure too. I transformed my transformer pretty six year.
You have to put his hands in and his gun otherwise it ain't done.
Yeah no, because I got mine. When I got mine, I never
got the hands. So he is just a handless Optimist Prime. So so
I have probably the accessory pack I don't have. I don't have that that
Optimist Prime, but I have Ultra Magnus, who basically comes as a white
Optimist Prime. And ah, okay, it's in here, but I'm not
obi because Coco is here and she will so when we were when I got
married, almost I get our wedding was just our wedding verses last past week.
On our wedding cake topper, it was the white Optimist Prime and uh,
Emily Dickinson, that was our that was our wedding top of for our
cake. Because we're nerds, so she's or a nerd and I'm a regular
nerd. Yeah, I'd love that toy when I got it, because it
was like two toys in one. It was like, okay, you're white
up to Smiths Prime and then like you put him in his battle armor.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, see I wanted I wanted the Nemesis Prime.
I wanted the black Optimist Prime with a purple design and decals like that's
kind of thing I always wanted to get off Prime tattoo. Just like in
the tractor trailer for him down one, I thought somebody was reaching and punching
in the face there. Now, that's that's me. That's because Okay,
so so those of you watching home you probably see the wide angle, but
as we're recording on this, we only see a sliver of our own screens.
So yeah, so no, that's not me, that's not being stupid
and not seeing an elbow. Congratulations, miss Carr. I've waited so long
for this. I don't know how to feel. Cliber Coco, who is
a fact? Now cliber Coco has the box. But yes, she came
running in and is now my box is now Coco's play face. So there's
a pussy in your box. There's a pussy in my box, just so
you know she can fit in the box. So the box did hold one
cocoa or six parents? Okay? And what wait? Did look for this?
I don't know what to do. Uh use it to guild vampire.
So well that's it. You reach your life goals. I guess it's just
the mord now like you're done you tomorrow. I was books, now you've
got I mean, it is kind of sad my mom never lived to see
the day that her daughter finally got a fucking transformer. I'm not gonna cry
again. Want to cry again, I'm not gonna cry again. This this
is this is Rachel's like uh like cocaine statue of Terry Pratchett. Moments my
cocaine Ry Pratchett. So you could say, no, do we know the
person's name? Can we thank them? On air. I'm not sure because
I don't know the person who sent it the name on the box, so
a stranger sent you a packaging your I don't think Chad Chad Johnson of Missouri.
Cha well, Chad Johnson Missouri, Thank you very much, pseudonym.
I'm pretty sure that somebody is using a proxy to do this. I have
my if if I if I had any inkling, I would suggest something that
rhymes with duck and you and fark yep yep. Oh no, that's the
gem war hunting. I don't know anything about that, but wow, I'm
really like, well, Chad Johnson of Missouri, Chad Johnson of Missouri,
and your accomplices who are junior adventurers, You've you've seriously like. I mean,
this is one of the nicest things anyone has done for me. And
I'm sorry I'm crying on camera, but it really means a lot and I
appreciate it, and I'm so clad it wasn't surprise Anal anything surprising Iana Tiger.
I mean, I'm happy for you, but I'm upset that it's not.
You know, I mean, I truly am happy for you. I
mean, I no one ever got me my toy. I had to go
on eb to get my own. So but I I know that got it
because I always just wanted it to be sure, what was your toy?
Gat the one I never got options Prime, And I said so once I
had a little bit of scratch my pocket, I went onto eBay and got
this guy right here. Now, I bought like the twenty fifth Anniversary Prime
for myself, but I got the Gen one Classic, no hands, nothing,
but it's like, damn it, that's like the trailers backed there on
my shelf. And I if no one else loves me enough to get it
for me, I love me enough to get it for me. So I
know the feeling. I know what you went through, and it was a
little different. In fact, I couldn't. Now I can see the Barbie
movie at last, because legit, I didn't want to see the Barbie movie
because I had so much of my family always giving me these goddamn Barbie dolls
that I felt like I was kind of traumatized by it. Yeah, I
have yet to see it, but now I forget. We should you know
what it is, We should do it at the movies of Barbie with our
optimist primes when we can. Oh, we just I'd rather watch the eighties
uh Transformers movie again to watch him die. Yeah we should. Yeah,
we should all get our Transformers and just watch hot Rod, everyone's favorite character.
Get Optimist Prime. Fucking kid. I want the music. I want
to say, I want to see Blasher in the beginning, who then dissap
fucts all for the rest of the movie. He shows up at the end,
the only smart guy in the bunch. He like he's there. He
lets out his cassettes and then high tails it to the very end, like
I'm just angry, Like there were so many, like really good autobot characters
he just fucking killed. Like like well, you know, as I said,
like you know what Optimist Prime dies. You know, if wheel Jack
was there, Optimists would have been fine. Will Jack would have just like
been like, I'm just gonna Jerry rig the sink and put it on me.
Yeah he's okay. What also bears? The one that was voiced by
Michael Bell. I knew Michael Bell did a lot of Transformers. I think
it was wheel Jack because I entered I got to interview Michael Bell back when
I was like cool, and he did a whole bunch of stuff and he
he did do some of the Transformers voices for the interview. He's also Duke
from g I Joe. Yes, he did Razi. The reason we were
doing this for Raziel for Legacy of Kine. He had Handy Smurf reading autobot
lines. Very secret thing that you can like, you can't ship, you
couldn't share it, but he did. One thing that was bothering me about
the eighties movie was, you know, Prime dies very sad, turns gray.
We all were all crushed, but then Ultra Magnus gets blown the fuck
up and they just put magic goo on him, the junky on to put
him back together, like go get Prime, and just I just loved that.
It was Eric fucking idol as a junk to Coon. I liked it
was it was the machine, the machine, micromachines, talking guy Eric,
that fast talking guy in the world. One of the things that blows my
mind is that recently, like maybe like a year or two back, Hasbro
was selling literally dead Optimist Prime, Like one of the one of the figures
that they were selling was I think they're calling it like Battle Prime or like
or something something, but it was literally the Great the great text, the
text sinking into the quick sting. Yeah. I sent a picture of that
to our friend Lamp. It was like it was two plants and one of
the plants is just you put the horse head in the sand and another thing
on the other side. It looks he's sinking the swamp of Sadus because she
loves plants. So here you go. And she's like, hit reported,
that's like, you can't have our text. You can't have said too soon.
I'm like, oh, yeah, come on, we're tough. Don't
done with this Cryberry ship Dog from Full Metal Alchemist. It's always I'm glad
to get the dog or the dog girl. I'm glad to say that said
that because I was about to say fuck McCaulay Culton and his bees. You
knows I might. I mean that I'm the only one that laughs, like
a yeah, that's That's one of those movies that I can't watch with other
people because I will just get the stare. It's really hard to laugh about
it though, after you felt anaphylaxis and suddenly it's just not as funny.
Oh I got stung by a wasp as a kid, and everything just shut
down in my body. No, I know the pain. Yeah yeah,
no, no, no, I get the pay. Yeah yeah, it's
one of those like okay, because of my time in the military, this
is they do what's called cognitive reprogramming, which is a bunch of authoritative men
and women or have you present standing in front of you saying I don't fucking
care. Well, you see about me. Here's what I don't fucking care.
Do your fucking job for twenty years, and then you eventually just stop
thinking like now deep, now you push it down, You push it down
while all the ulcers are already growing, and then you let it out later
on the therapy. Friend, Yeah, exactly, it's your friend. It's
like, it's like, what is it like just live in denial for a
bunch of years that you just and then hopefully when you become a leader,
you're not as much of an asshole. But back when I joined, it
was nothing. But so like, yeah, let me just popular. I'm
not making fun of people who have who are allergic to bees or have anaplexies.
Oh god, no, of the movie. It is a bathos it
is. It really is intense. But but our text, man, our
text is legit pain for every kid of He told the horse, he said,
stop being sad. Stop it. It's like it's like, hey,
horse, just stop being said you won't think. Horse is like I'm sorry,
I can't of go like what depression? Actually you probably have, but
no, actually on a regular basis, but it's it's like ideal that through
dark humor, that's how I tell the first I'm the first one to tell
a joke at a funeral, Like that's my job at my family. I'm
the one who tells the jokes at the funeral. And now I get to
go, sorry, fuck you, mom, I know you're dead, but
I got my optimus prime there. Let's just like dark humor is like a
kitten with cancer. It never gets old. So that's how I've always Yeah,
that's right. And I Jimmy Carr at the hospice war real, real,
real story. So I went to go see Willow in the theater and
this and the scene there's a scene at the beginning when like you know,
when Laura Dannon is born, she gets secreted away and like you know,
the Queen Bethmore goes in there and she's like, where's your daughter. It's
like you'll never get her and she turns away and she's like kill her.
And I chuckled during that scene, and the entire theater just went silent,
and I was like, maybe I'm gonna go get some popcorn and not come
back. My parents got mad at me for days because they let me watch
the movie Clue on HBO. And when the girl shows up, yeah,
exactly, it's a goddamn classic and you're singing telegram. Girl got singing telegram
and the girl from the Go Gos is singing what's her name? I cannot
remember her damn name. She was one of the scene with the Go Gosh.
She's I'm singing telegram to go blamp dead faalse I bust out laughing.
My dad's like someone just died, but it was funny. He just go
to your room and they wanted me to go see the pastor after that.
So Jane right, exactly, it's it's a funny death. It was the
point. It was supposed to be sudden. Nothing in Clue. I think
it is meant to be taken serious. I don't think if that's boobs,
that's the only serious thing that whole movie. So the dog and even in
the serious movie, deats can be funny. I still maintained the second funniest
death scene ever filmed is Man of Steel when Pop Kent dies because it don't
make me Man of Steel rage, don't. That's the flowers of my life
just going. As soon as I started picking it apart, it just kept
just don't do that. Yeah, I'm the same way. It's like,
it's like me. It's like right, all that time, Ironman three and
Man of Steel came out and they were both like, broke every rule that
they've written about their particular mythology, and I, the writer of me,
is like, but it doesn't. You can't. You can't do that.
You can't say this thing in my chest makes power and then say it runs
out of power because he dies. And you can't say, like Kryptonians have
to breathe the air and the sunlight. Now these guys show up who are
breathing Kryptonian air and now they have superpowers. It doesn't work that, no,
you fuckers. No, you know, like nobody snaps Od's neck loved
it. I don't care. Good, that's what you have to do,
what you gotta do. Iron Man three, I didn't mind Zod's death.
I did mind podcasts because I'm like that, no, he could go faster.
I thought it was I know, I didn't even mind it. I
thought it was hilarious because it is so ineptly done. It is just it's
filmed. You could tell he filmed it like this big dramatic moment, and
it just comes across as this dude being like, fuck the fuck, fuck
this, I owe the bank money, fuck you all, exactly. I
took got a third mortgage on the floor to pay for the whores. You
know. Yeah. The whole point is he dies of a heart attack and
Superman can't do anything. It's the less can't do anything about it. You
have, there's always something inevitable. It's a beautiful, pure message. Why
did they make it instead? No, it's Kevin Costner hates you. Kevin
Costler. Literally you're like, no, I don't want to be in the
movie anymore. Stop seriously, I'm sorry. Did you you suck as a
child? Well? He actually told he told Cork, yeah, maybe you
should have let those kids die. Maybe you should have let the bust little
kids die. Like, that's no bad message, Podcat. It's like I
can't see pain saying that. You know, that's like unless it's like in
else worlds where they're like, you know, yeah, this is not now
Batman's dad, Sure, this is not dumb. Optimist is awesome. I'm
just gonna keep playing with them randomly. You should, I should. I
have the toy. The cats are all like circling the box. They're like,
thank you for giving us this amazing toy. Mom. They're looking they're
like, we're gonna fuck up Optimist the second you turn your back. Oh
god, yeah, that's that's Coco's job. She messes up everything. But
she's playing with I'm moving the box so she can play with it out there.
She just she choose on them, you know, some of them like
like got like I got fans toys, uh which MC call it skyfire up
there. That's heaviest fright. I kept messing with that. Ever again,
yes I got the very attack because I couldn't get the actual toy, but
I got the ver attack, the Roy Folker Fair attack that it was basically
the exact same thing, and I loved it, and my son knocked it
over and it shattered, and it broke my heart because it was a gift
from a friend who knew I always wanted it, and that was kind of
the thing that was other toy I've always wanted was that, And a friend
of mine gave me his like still in the box. I'm like, can
I open. He's like, yeah, I have a couple of these,
like take one, here you go, And it meant the world was very
kind, was very nice, and it got destroyed, but it like it
didn't just fall. It like plummeted and like just yeah, every it would
take all the King's horses and mountain. This is this is why I often
say I always love but sometimes I don't like him. Oh no, that's
a total, that's a total parent legal leese. You love them. Sometimes
I don't like them, but I love them. So there's times like my
wife like I have to love you by God and contract, but I don't
like you right now. And that's fair because somebody or fans toys Phoenix.
This guy is freaking huge. As you can see. Does he change or
he changes? Oh but like he like he changes and he's like this big
in jet mode like that Skylinks figure. That's like that's too much toy.
It's like when I got Metroplex, like my parents did get me that the
one year, and I'm like, that's too much toy for a child to
play with. It's like two feet of toy. Yeah, I'm trying to
turn him back into a truck I have. I have the Titans Return Trip
to con and literally I have to keep him down in my basement because I
don't have any shells big enough to keep him on or Fortress Maximus like that
one was a yeah, truck. I've waited so long. This is so
much fun. I think it's also because my my, my a, my
dad's side of the fan, my granddad, my uncle, they're all truckers,
so they come from like that line. So I've always loved that image
of just that long, whole truck and I just wanted to get that tattooed
down the arm. Never did, but it's you know, maybe one day.
I'm sorry, I'm playing with my truck now. Steve is going to
be editing this like Jesus fucking Christ. This episode. We were originally gonna
pick like a different, like a second topic can go off that, but
fuck it. At this point we're talking about Transformers. If you don't like
it, go fuck yourself. They're so cool. My childhood is restored.
I do. I feel like a little kidding game gonna So here's a hilarious
thing. So I have Masterpiece. Uh I guess blue Streak up there you
can kind of you can sort of see him. And I have like three
of those because my wife got like like Alissa and like her heart was in
the right place. She gets me one year, I'm like, all right,
cool, masterpiece and they call him silver Streak up for some reason masterpiece
but whatever, and I was like cool. Next year, she's like,
gets me the same one. I'm like, I already have it. No
you don't. I looked, it's right there on my shelf. I'd bring
her upstairs and she gets me. She's like, fuck you. Yeah.
The next year I get fucking still and she's like, I checked, you
don't have it. I'm like, I have two of them, now,
look you no, I don't think. I don't think. I don't I
don't think this like like she was, I didn't really angry because I put
it out. I'm like, yeah, I appreciate the gift. Your heart's
in the right place, but I already have this one. I just remember
hunting for Transformers comics for you. That was fun. I went and rated
that's entertainment I had. Probably I still have a bunch of nine of the
Marvel Gene one run and of course it all got destroyed in the Hurricane Ida.
Yes, that's why I was trying to because I didn't get destroyed in
Hurricane Ida, so that's why I was getting them. That was a fun
hunt because I went to a couple of stores and I ended up trading some
of my books for those comic books, so it was quite fun. I
remember coming back after I was in the when I was in the Air Force,
one like several years in I came back to visit. I mean I
visited all the time, but I came back to visit the once time.
I was like, now that I had an apartment to myself and in my
own space, and say, hey, Mom, what happened junk down down
in the basementcause I would like to I'd love to like grab my own Millennium
Falcon, or my the original Bubbafet Slave one, and you know a couple
other things. She's like, oh, I sold all that anymore. Your
mom is my mom? Like literally my Transformers and the only things I saved
my childhood. I had okay, two of the most expensive fucking figures in
Star Wars history, which are like which are Obi Wan and Darth Vader with
the capes and the slide out lightsabers. I had those and the second I
left for fucking college, my mother took everything. Was just like, I'm
just selling all your ship at a yards out and getting like like two Nicholas
for it. Yep. I had an Amiga fucking five hundred, a goddamn
computer with a stack of like you know, games and stuff. I came
home like, where's my where's my computer? Oh? I sold that it
wasn't fucking yours. What okay? What other uh toys or cartoons from that
era? Because like all we do is here's the thing. No one's recycling
modern day cartoons because they suck. The key came back to our era.
So what from that era didn't get enough love? What if someone once from
your childhood that didn't get enough love? I know I have one or two
off the top of my head that like, I loved it, and I
wish that had stuck with it and gone, but it broke my heart when
they stopped. I absolutely love ThunderCats, I know, and part of and
part of the reason was I thought Mamra was the absolute best bad guy.
You know. It's like I just loved the original, the original ancient spirits
of evil, like the Transformation. Once you have your own obelisk, once
you have a pyramid with obelisk outside, you've you've achieved as an overlord,
just full stop, you know, like once you got that. I love
the concept of that because like the writer means, like what I mean third
Earth? He's been here since so his first Earth? How flog has he
been there? What? How? How far the thunder of the Barbarian future?
Are we that we arrived at this, at this new Earth? You
know, because the the one of those the Luna tacks the cyboard by obserkers,
they were like they came out a little bit later and the mutant people
and they were okay, like slide and what was it? Monkey man?
Real original and uh you know, uh well pretty much after anything, right
right, I'm vulture man. Can you guess what I look like? Gee?
How you feel? That's exactly? Did you ever see the outtakes when
the voice actors they have them on video you can find on YouTube. It's
like the guy doing the Liono and voice like, come, we must go
down. What the fuck am I reading? What is this bullshit? And
it's just put in the lion O voice like you can find these outtakes on
YouTube and they're fucking hilarious. Because that same cast went on to do silver
Hawks and I that's one of the ones I love because I loved I love
the space opera ThunderCats basically like Stargazer and steel Hart Will and all the you
know, Monstar and all that shit I thought they were really doing. But
the one I loved, I truly loved because it was like it had such
a lure behind it was were the visionaries when they when little toys start having
the little holograms on the chest, But it was this concept where it's like
for those who don't know, for these children and the way Back Machine,
there was like basically this Merlin called Merklin showed up and he pie said the
age of science is over, snaps his fingers and all technology just stops full
stop. It's like the bit. It's like the big emp that killed everything.
Then the time fast forwards ten years will we basically turned back to this
medieval period and he starts retroducing magic. So it's like you've got these people
who are like built camelot off the backs of our broken civilization. Like this
is just lore heavy and I am just diving in. And the toys were
dope because that the little things and they all got magic were the coolest things.
Yeah, all right, I got one that that definitely needed more love.
One cartoon I loved. I think it was only on for one season
in Humanoids, Oh because one sir, like, you know, the toys,
well they looked not like the cartoon. The toys were freaky as fuck.
The cartoon was freaky as fuck. I mean they had this this undead
thing that would occasionally just like rot like like characters would die in it and
be brought back as like like zombies. He was decomposed d apostrophe compose.
Tendril was the other one, Arbison who the leaders of them are Kirk Armstrong,
the Augur was a driller liquidator and fuck what was the guy in the
blue with the claws. It's damn it. Now. My my nerd knowledge
is fans the gaggle that would like just like that just would eat everything's arms
off and ship. Well. Also the trees like the Redwood trees and the
and they would like to come to life, and like they basically had like
the cthula monsters and that tendril thing. Oh god, that was a great
cartoon. I love that one. See I feel so late if I miss
Reboot. I just loved like that was a show that started like it should
have been so awful, and by the third season, when like Enzo got
aged up, it was actually pretty hardcore for a Saturday morning cartoon. Uh,
Tony J did a voice in. Anything that Tony J does a voice
in is like that's cool. So yeah, I always loved Mask. Grew
up with that. Do you guys remember those those those directive like you know,
like live action shows where you could buy the toys and shoot him at
the TV. I mean Captain Power, Captain Power, And I remember remember
watching that. It was just like it was like the early days. It
was just so terrible, but I couldn't stop watching it. That's what Reboot
was. The early days of it was it was so so bad. I
remember one of the characters, I think Captain Power was like Sven old Thorson,
who was like from the old Conan movies. Yes, and he played
with Arnoldbaker. Yes, he was in a lot of US movies together.
Un Man he was a flying tank guy, Yes, Running Man, he
was the Mall Rats. He was LaForce, the cop was chasing around.
Uh uh a braxis that horrible one with like Jesse just the body bloody Ventura.
Was that the name of the movie. It was practice a Praxis I
remember from like Mystery Science Theater three thousand. That's another good at the movie's
candidate. Well S Fenn was also in Conan, so well, yes,
don't don't start talking about Conan with Rick Room because we can. We can
go on and on and everything. Oh I love every night when I let
my dog or when I let my dogs out, Like that last thing is
that is me, Like you're opening door, go go, You're free.
In case you ever wondered, I am. I am Rick Subati. So
whenever there's an emotional moment that needs to be felt, I cry for him
as you could. So I have to one of the books I'm running now.
I've got a scene where like portals and know the world opens and like
creature comes out and the nerd living in his like thing above the comic book
store freaks out. He runs to the wall and he grabs his official Conan
license replica sword and he yanks it off the wall, pulling the entire mounting
with It's like fuck shit, he's trying to shake it off, he's trying
to hold it and he's trying to hold it there. But it's an eight
pound replica sword because that's what they are, and that's not how heavy swords
are supposed to be. So there, sure that's looking at front of him
is just holding one serrated knife. He's like, that looks too heavy.
It's like, this is any list of the thing? This this amount of
spring steel, blah blah blahlahah blah bahlah. He's like this cuts through dwarves.
It's the song motion and the character piece himself drops the sword and gets
drug through the portal. But it's like, yeah, I love like because
you've ever have you ever held like replica Conail sword? It's a brute So
are you? Did I hear you're writing like an Easai type thing? Is
that what? One hundred yeah, yeah, yeah, on hundred percent,
Like I grew Here's the thing. I think we all grew up fans before
we knew what Iskai was because we all played Mario. Uh, because that's
just it's well, that's it's you. He's pulled. He's pulled into another
world and said, level up and go kill all these mushroom people, and
and and go kill all these turtles. Yeah, for the love of a
princess, you know, like or connecting Yankee and King Arthur Scort if you
want to be fancy. But yeah, we all grew up full time travel
right, multivers It's a wonderful life. So come on, it's it's all.
I think it's I think it's also like I grew up a fan of
this one particular book series that that's what turned me into a nerd, which
was the Guardians of the Flame series by Joel Rosenberg. It's it was one
of those like I got the book by accident because in the back of the
TV guide you got that, you know, give us a penny, We'll
give you every book ever made, you know, and charge yes, and
if you don't send the thing in. So I got this omnibus edition of
those the first three books, and I read it and it blew my mind
because I think, I mean, I've obviously you read the Hobbit you read,
you know, all the nerd shit you do in your youth. But
this was about college kids who got pulled into a world because their DM,
their college professor was a DM from that world and he sent them over there
where he became their characters. And this was written in like nineteen seventy nine
and nineteen eighty one, so it was like blowing my mind that someone had
already this concept. So oh yeah, I mean all the animator stuff we've
gotten now, tons of it. Love it, don't get me wrong,
but that's those are my roots. What's that? I like the stuff from
the nineties I got like El Hazard, Escaflone and fushigi Ugi vibes here.
So well, the funny things. One funny thing is originally before I changed
it, like one of the original concepts were build a Vampire was it was
like I didn't know what it was called at the time, but it was
going to be an It was going to be you know, nerds thrown into
like, you know, the game world. And I was like that,
it's funny. It's funnier if it's like nerds to discovered monsters in our world
are real, you know, right, But now you're doing kind of an
easy aren't you too? Rick? Do you want to talk about I've argued
with a few people. A few people have told me it's it's it's it's
it's a guy, and I guess technically they're right, but it doesn't feel
like it to me. So so yes, my my first litter, you,
my first litter Pug Time Taser is live on Royal Road and live with
more a lot more chapters on my patreon and the story, the story behind
it is a he made me subscribe to his patreons. You can't. I
didn't make you. You wouldn't give me any cracks, so I had to
you, evil dealer. The first ones were free, and now I'm looked.
Please somebody join me on the patreon. There are other people. Please
you know what I was. He's a thousand people journ are on the patreot.
But yeah, come and suffer with me. I'll i'll if you join
the patreon, I'll send Optimus Prime picks or something. But yeah, time
case is basically a guy. A guy gets hit by a bus and in
the moment before he dies, he is sucked away and uh yeah, he's
thrown into it. Yeah, he's basically thrown into like a running Man type
show where where basically he has a chance to regain his life, you know,
or or die for real, except if he fus up and dies basically
if yes, if he dies lamely, they tell him, oh, by
the way, you know, if you do that, if you don't try,
we're just going to race your entire your your your entire timeline. Yeah,
you get like you're in Loki. That's cool, and you give me
is uh yeah, it's it's like everyone else, we're all chasing the dinner
bucks. Mine is like a yes, the dinner Bucks. Yeah, he's
well. The thing is like I don't want to obviously none of us want
to, Like I want to do it with my spin I want to do
with my flavor on it. And it is there's a loving homage to like
I said to the Guards of Flame series that was my big inspiration behind it
or anything else. So I have like this fantasy world and I already wrote
this fantasy world in another series. Is technically this is a spin off from
my shadow Master of work, but it's just taking place in this fantasy world
where people are pulled in, but they become they have to like you know,
they they level up, but they're not, like, not everybody levels
up. There's only certain people in fantasy worlds that are like can do anything,
like when we play when we play D and D, I call them
paragons when we do when we play D and D, like, you can
go from level you can go from like hayseed shit smelling farmer to arch mage
and less than a year because because that's the game, you know. But
so there are magics behind this, like certain people are chosen blah blah blah.
So many these people come over XYZ, things happen, but I really
dive into the realism of what it's like. So when you get hit with
an arrow, yeah, your hit points go down, but you feel it,
every single fucking one of them and what happens to you. And so
it's written as a comedy action with those little like like scrubs moments of like
because it's like one of the dudes who came over, he's like, he
suffers from anxiety and depression. He has no pills now, so now he's
having to deal with it and he's like, you know, and the girl
that he's stuck with, right, well, it does that and the girl
and the girl the he's like in his early thirties, and he feels like
a loser, you know. In fact, he's like when the guy when
the when the portal opens, the monster comes to pull him through because they
want to put some certain nerves through this. He was jerking off at the
top because he was like, but he felt just well because he's he he's
and everyone he's like, he's he found a pleasant rhythm to his shame is
how I wrote the scene, you know, kind of thing. But he
says, trying to find a scene that maybe did make me feel like a
fat, disgusting whale was impossible because that's how I always feel kind of thing,
because like there are people who just don't feel. But now he's in
the body of a ripped dwarf. He's like, holy shit, I've got
spunk gutters. Look at these things, you know, like and who's in
in cell now, ladies, you know that kind of thing, because you
know, and it's and the girl she's younger, so she's got a fresher
perspectful and things, but she has this need to constantly be right. So
they're constantly at at odds, and I've just reached a ride around sixty thousand
words today, but that's only like the first third of the book, because
that's gonna be the end of act one, because this is gonna be a
one of my a longer book because once they realize how far they get,
then like you don't know anything yet, so when they beat the obi Wan
character, it gets bigger. Yes, are you serializing this or dropping novels?
I'm unsure because I haven't. I'm waiting. I'm here like like a
good friend, I'm letting my other friends go forward into world road first and
see how they succeed, like an icebreaker, and then I will like and
then I will tell you, because I mean I've heard mixed stories because obviously,
like when we have the convention, I talked I talked to Dinniman,
I talked to Actus, you know, and like both have have had great
success on it. But they've also said, like sometimes becomes toxic. So
it's like you got to have like you got to catch on the fire,
you well, an exit plant. But also like it's also a good,
great way to get your name out there to these fans, because the litarpyg
fans are diehards, yes, and they are dires and they love their material.
But I also like and I I read a lot of litarpy. I
don't like all of it. I like the stuff that actually tells a story.
But there are some people who just want numbers, and even Madison's like,
some nerds out there just want their numbers, and I think the reasons
that I think, one of the reasons might not. I think I resonate
with Matt's book, for example, because he's telling he doesn't just have numbers.
He's clearly telling a story about Carl, and Carl is a is a
damaged human being. The whole you will not break me line over and over
and over, and the trauma from the past. That's what pulls me through
as an adult man. Like I can Yeah, I can read like you
know, John Wick style action bang bang shooty shooty shit as a kid and
like and love it. I still do. But I want something a little
bit more in my characters. So that's what I'm trying to give my character
despite being an action comedy. I want to put that kind of shit in
there. Yeah, Like, like one thing about Carl is I don't always
like Carl, but that that kind of keeps me reading because I don't need
to necessarily always I need to like the story. I don't necessarily need to
like the character, and like, you know, the story keeps uh like
you know this, this, the story keeps going. In fact, it
was funny. It was I was like, literally, yesterday I decided to
vedge out on my link on my couch and I was just during the afternoon,
I was, I was going, I was making my way through the
final part of book five Butcher's Masquerade. Right, Well, you know,
guys, I feel like you've got a lit RPG. You've got a lit
RPG. So guess what I just wanted to Office Prime. Well, no,
I have Optimus Prime. But well I kind of did a thing that
I just started. But my lit RPG is very different because it's cozy.
So I've started a story called Zennia's Bakery for Beasts about a girl who's an
easy guy who gets sent to a world accidentally and because they can't find a
prophecy to for her to finish for her to go back, They're like,
well you're stuck, and she starts learning how to do magic cool baking to
save her town from a gnomish robber Baron yes, it's basically Blazing Saddles meets
the Great British Bakeoffs. That's fantastic. Well, the thing is like some
of those those work well because it's like quirk works and that's fun. And
when you write something fun, it comes through as fun and that's I think
that resonates with people. And I wish you. I wish you both well
to do well, so you can put yours on Royal Road and do well.
We can all make dinner bus. And again I'm not even if I'm
not one hundred percent, I don't know. I might just drop it as
a book. I don't know, because it's like it's my first foray into
that that genre. It's a genre that I love, but it's like I
don't. It's here's the weird part. You know, I know you're doing
it sometimes when you walk tot other people's faces. I don't want to come
in like big dick swinging, small dick swinging, any dick swinging like I
have the people swing. So I'm coming right swinging, you know, you
know, thank you click flicking. I don't know whatever you want to say.
You know, look, we've already had my box on display for most
of them. So, but it's it's one of those like, I know
you're getting I saw you're getting reviews, you're getting views on yours, Rick,
So how's it coming. Are you feeling good? Are you feeling confide?
I mean, right now, it's going very slowly, you know,
And I mean that's the thing I'm trying. I mean, I mean,
I'm but I'm also trying not to, like, you know, go in
there and be like, you know and be like you should respect me.
Do you know who I am? Right right right? I'm like, you
know, I'm playing it like, hey, guys, you know, I
do have stories. I'm like, you know, I'm just sharing some of
them with you. But you know, I'm also not not going in like
a bullet and china shop. So I'm more than more willing to like to
kind of start from going forward. Yeah, I'm more than willing to start
from zero here because it is a brand new genre to me, right,
and I think it's sorry go ahead, no is to say. I think
it's awesome because it is a chance to be a beginner again, and there's
there's a certain joy in that. And you know, if you don't ever
try anything new, you stagnate. I got short story projects I'm working on
that I've never tried before. Were also I would say, novellas, we'll
call the novella's and not have short stories. But there they're a slow road
to hoe, so we'll see how those turn out. Yeah, novellas can
be. I gotta say, Richel, your your story. I did just
gave me another story idea because I was like like, like, well no,
I was just thinking to myself, like, Okay, your sounds super
cute, and I was like, what if you had a hardcore game or
somebody who's really into like you know, the Call of Duty games and gets
stuff stuffed into like like like Animal Crossing or something, And I'm like,
what a hellsing is? Like, it's like the the inspiration. This is
Animal Crossing. This is cozy and light. I loved Travis Baldtrees, Legends
and Lattes and just you know, the world's kind of sucked for a few
years, so I just I have to write something light and fluffy for a
little bit and hopefully bring some joy. So I wanted to announce it to
the Junior Adventurers first Hugo Award winning Legends a lot. He just won the
best like new novel or something. Have to steal your thunder because you don't,
because you don't, you don't have to like you know, uh,
obviously you not can announce it here, but I will just say Rachel gave
me a sneak bee peak of Recover and it is fire. That's cool.
That's really cool. You know what. I might sneak it in for our
patrons this week just to give it because I will say that both Reck and
I we had we shared a cover artist and he did a great job I
think for both Time Chaser and for Zenia's Bakery for beasts. That's awesome.
Congratulations, And he's snuck onto the podcast just a second. So yeah,
if anyone's looking for some and anime search for er, yes, er,
you might want to have have him rethink. Look, I he wants to
distance himself from the car name or something, but but he is ERG online
and he has more followers than us, so we probably shouldn't judge, you
know, gone with the car, except I would be like I would be
fucking with I'd be like, it's like and here here's here's here's a cover
by fast Car. It's awful. We didn't know if he was a boy
or girl. We were thinking of names and one of the ones that came
up was a Solda, and then we realized sold a car would be horrible
name. In case. Oh yes, Erg is actually Marcus Carr. Big
spoiler, but is like, you weren't supposed to tell anybody? No,
don't okay, don't don't tell anybody. Don't tell. Well if they're looking
for you are g h. It's every time I say who did your cover?
Er? And they're like, what You're happy? Like, No,
No, that's the name of the artist. It's Er. I've done something
poor in my raising. I'm sorry he's gonna wind up with an arch numbers
called UG or something. It's true, but no, I mean I've seen
some of this stuff he does, like rob blocks art and stuff, and
damn we we can't compete. Here's the thing. At least at least you
can get yours to work with you. My middle son, Connor, he's
got he's got like you know, this YouTube channel with like probably about five
times many people on his than I do on mine. I'm always doing these
like video things and I'm like, can you help out? Dad? And
like you know, like, no, you're used to you know what though,
notice that my that though related to me, did your cover first?
Well yeah cool yeah, cool. Uncle, Like he's got followers called twat
Waffles. I mean the waffles rock, no mock in the Twatz. No,
I'm saying that, you know, you need the junk Punchers or something.
God, oh god, the ferret Fisters exactly, we've come back to
Ferret's. At least it's not talking tigers. Well, I mean, I
mean, yeah, you could. You could call your fans like box stuffers,
the the the anal tiger violators, but that just that's a mouthful.
Oh I'm just gonna I'm just gonna go with like Rachel's box stuffers. That's
what we need. Say. Oh my god, so what oh, just
so we know the name? What is the name of your ease a Kai
Gibbee? Oh, Level one sucks. Level one does suck. That is
an awesome Level one sucks. And so it'll be. And if I write
this world, the levels are smaller. So like if I do this correctly,
to be five books, level one, level two letters afford leable five
we've been like it, so it'd be like level one sucks, Level two
blows, Level three's okay, Level four's not too bad, Level five rules.
You know, it's like something to that effect, you know, And
it's I know, because what I'm really it's definitely it's definitely progression fantasy and
gamelt. It has the numbers, it has things going on. But I'm
really slipping in there a Hallmark movie in disguise. I have the Elf Ranger
read the Solstice Tree Farm, and I'm trying to figure out how to make
like chain mail flannel. I see you. It's so it's it's it's one
of those like I'm really trying to like put in like you know, the
the human story, but with all with the blood, the gods, the
humor, the action, the potty humor, and the stuff that people come
and love. Cause when you mentioned before, but dropping someone off like I
wrote in one of my books where like the villains captured this evil, dark
goddess of a gothic horror universe and transport and dropped her off in the Fluffy
Bunny cartoon universe where she's like just standing there amongst all this happy technicolor,
and she's all dark and goth and moody. You know, and it's shit,
Like, that's the kind of stuff. I like, that's what you
come to expect, you guys doing this cute stuff. I'm like, I'm
plotting up this scene with basically this Demi god who's like, you know,
who's uh heavily into drugs called methia leese you know. Oh my god.
That's awesome. So what chapter are you up to now, Rick? What
can people find on Royal Road? All right, so Royal Road just started
on Saturday. I put four chapters up and I've been putting a chapter up
a day since then, so I think we're up to six there, and
I'm going to be putting a chapter a day there for the for the full
week. So uh, at the end of the week, there'll be eleven
chapters on Royal Road, and after that it'll be two chapters a week there.
That's awesome, that's so cool. So I can't com I can't commit
to that. Yeah, I don't know. Well, the thing is,
I've I figured I was going to write most of it out and then once
it was done, start posting. Okay, So I was originally going,
like my original thought was, hey, finish it and then do that,
but here's the thing. I have another I have another serial life story.
I'm just maybe two weeks from finishing up. It's called boor War. It's
on Kindlevilla, and I have to say the weekly the weekly deadline up,
I must have like a chapter done for next week. I found very motivating.
Like on days when I don't want to write, it gets my ass
writing. And that's why I'm like, all right, I'm going to give
myself a couple of weeks of like, you know, like i'd like,
I'd like I have well passed like chapter eleven. I'm just going to say
that right now. Oh you do, do you? Yeah, I'm about
seventy thousand words into this, but hind yeah. But the thing, the
thing, the thing is like you know, even with that buffer, I
still want I kind of that that deadline. I find motiva motivating and like,
you know, I want to I want to keep up that work out.
I don't want to put myself into like you know, some uh,
some comfortable spot. Because also, here's the thing. Once I'm finished with
the book and then I move into editing, my brain moves out of writing
mode, and then it's kind of hard to get back into writing mode again.
So I'm just trying to keep that. How do you do the weekly
like writeing, edit other than occasionally sending it to your hopelessly addicted friend to
read over. Okay, So so with boor War, the way I do
it is this. I write the chapter, I go through the chapter once,
and then I do an edit of the chapter via like you know,
text to speech for typos and just to make sure that there's no clunky sentences.
When that chapter is done, then I schedule in advance for usually like
either a week or two weeks out. So I'm usually I'm using this,
Like all of these places have scheduling features and where I can, I'm using
them because one one thing I know I will screw up is like you know,
it's like you know, it's I'm supposed to release a book on Tuesday,
and suddenly it's like Tuesday at like nine pm. I'm like fuck yeah,
So so yes, that's wait. We never did that, like forgetting
when dev and Dark Dryots came out Monday, I've never done that, but
yeah, that's that's my thing. I Usually I'll give a chapter like you
know, usually three read throughs, and then like you know, and at
that point. I mean, yeah, it's still gonna it's still gonna need
some editing for when it goes to a final book form. But my thing
is when a book isn't is serialized, unlike a Kindle the Hell or a
Royal Road, it's kind of in an advanced stage of beta reading where it's
like, Okay, it's good enough to read and it's and it's not like
a type of ritten mess. But things can still change between now and the
final product. Well that's fair, and I think that's part of the fun
of it. But I'm with you. I kind of am hoping that having
some of that deadline will will help, especially with my ADHD, that it
will give me that hard line because until something is urgent, it's very hard
for me to get started. So I think I'll be cool come join us
on this serial. So what are your thoughts on this? Giveee? I
am you know that one kid who would sit in the corner and draw and
they say, what's you draw? Like, fuck off, I'm drawing.
You know. I'll show you when I'm done. That's me, you know,
I am. I am. I have. Once I hit the release
button, I don't care, love it, hate it. I don't it's
out there for the world to see. I hate showing anything in the fledgling
Larval stage because I I have a thick skin, but I can't. I
I know what I like, and I'm not ready to show something to at
least i'm satisfied with. And so like, I'll write a chapter and then
walk literally walk away. I'll go work out, go for a bike ride,
do the dishes, do something. Then I'll come back and look at
the chapter again. And I like, I spent the last three days fixing
just one chapter because it wasn't sitting right and I don't know what wasn't sitting
right. And then I eventually got it and I sat back there and rewrote,
like, you know, here's a thirty six hundred word chapter. And
I didn't mean for me that long. It's actually four thousand. I got
it down to thirty six hundred. It's like, this is too wordy,
this is too purple, this is blah blah blah, this is too moody.
Fix fix, fix, fix fix. And then once I got it
happy, I'm like, so I write all my stuff out in like word
documents, and then every time I'm done, I add to the master file,
so I see how many words I've got going on total. But then
sometimes I go back to the master document, just start tinkering. And I
go back and I'm like, oh damn, I start rereading what I wrote.
Yes, you write each chapter and then stitch them Togevin. I've never
heard that before. I'm quite fascinated by your words because what I do.
What I do is like I opened my my my file here and I'm like,
okay, so I got like you do it it is, But that
way I can go back and look at things individually, because it's like,
you know, some people write very quickly. I am a moderate to slow
writer because I for my comedy books. Ironically, the books I put the
least amount of effort into are the ones that do the best in sales.
You know, when I'm writing the comedy books are like dumb joke, super
dark humor, slightly misogynistic. Here, it's all a joke, wackety schmacketty
put it out and then it's like boom, that's the one that sells hundreds
and hundreds of copies. Fantastic. And then I put a lot of thought
and creativity and plotting and crickets and like, well fuck me. So I'm
trying to go with my gut what feels right, and then let the writer,
so that is just the creators. Then let the writer come in afterwards
and like let's do a second pass on that. And so yeah, I
do chapter, chapter, chapter using heading so that you can just block it
that way in one file. You know how you know, how you start
a bad habit, you can't stop it. It's hanging out with Rick.
So clearly it's fair, that's fair. But this is just my process.
And I've got like like like fifty sixty of those legal yellow yellow notebook tabs
where it's like I will sit there and watch a television show while I'm like
just kind of dritting down notes to what my next writing project is going to
be, Like I'll write out dialogue idea in my head and not it doesn't
work multi desk like that because I don't watch quality television. So it's like
I'm like rotten garbage and I have to pay attention to it. I can
have I can have note like I always keep a notepad, like there's always
one here by my desk, and then there's always one by the bed.
So if an idea hits, I brain dump it out while I'm doing something
else. All right, so we're about We're at about one fifteenth, so
it was probably about it time for us to wrap us up. Anyone gonna
make me cry before we we log off? I think I think I've had
enough tears on camera. No, I don't think. I don't think anybody's
gonna show you a meat banana. That's a sausage rick, That's just a
sausage, sausage. I have no problem with sausage. I could watch Sausage
Party because there were no fucking bananas in it, but the fucking mass singer
I had to stop watching that show. On season three, the wife and
I were watching Fall the House of Usher together, Like she got into it
and I'm not allowed to watch ahead of her, so I she have to
we have to watch it together. So yeah, yeah, British accent,
I were watching Loki. That's our show right now. I don't watching anything
like like I tried watching like gen gen V and like I got one episode
into it and I was just like you can read Superpowers by true A.
Yeah, no, I'm gonna say this story if I turn off my brain
and watch it. I'm okay. The moment I apply any thought, I
get upset because the Boys Deconstruction. Obviously you get you know you, I
know we're running little bit long, but you got you got our boy who
uh who did it with the who watches the Watchman, Allen Moore, you
know, like, and then you've got the Boys. Originally, garth enis
to the comic with more more blood, gut and blood and guts fantastic than
the show cool, but then gen V rolls along and it feels like the
kid that got their dad's gun, who's just shooting the bullets off because they
can. It's all like exploding dicks, but without the reason why you're putting
it exploding dicks. It's it's it's, it's it is every every person is
literally just here's my tragic backstory and my power and that's it. Like in
their Power Surprise Surprise is our tragic backstory. So it's like there's no character
there, it's just I have this am my backstory, and here's Mike's and
then here's an exploding dick. And it's fun. As long as I leave
it at that surface level fantastic, I'll watch it but I it doesn't have
that same kind of like quality to it. Yeah, I gotta say,
it's like I watched episode one and I didn't hate episode one, but I
haven't gone back for episode two yet because I just find myself like literally not
thinking about it. Yeah. I started rewatching far Escape, like that's that's
what the state of TV is. I rewatched The Venture Brothers, Like it's
just like I start from the beginning all and watch all over again. Lower
Decks is good. Yeah, I do like lower Decks. Lower Decks is
amazing. It's like been a perfect season, Like there's been no dude,
there's there's one. I forget which news outlets. I'm not going to cite
them, but like they were they trashed the last two episodes hard saying this
was like the worst they've ever done, Like are you kidding me? Like
the Cave was a great bottle episode, Like that was as bottle episodes go.
That was a fantastic take on on on a bottle of I love that.
That just tells me that whoever's writing that is Badgie and NamUs all in
one episode. Badgie was a little lame. Okay, I'm gonna be a
Badgie I like the return of Badgie. That's cool. But you know,
I don't think we've seeing the end of Badgie spoiler alert. Oh no,
but Peanut Hamper I like, you know, so Peanut Hamper is a very
polarizing character. Well, god, we're going on a tangent. We're gonna
have to schedule another side quest when Lower Decks is done, and just Lower
Deckscutch a favorite animated program, and so for right now Adult Animated, you
know, to keep like you know, Steve from screaming at its me,
like, why did you talk for three you fuckers talk for three hours?
And now I got to edit it. Why don't we just say that if
you like what you're listening to turn in tune in next week, Well we
will be doing a game and absolutely not talking about the stuff we're talking right
now unless you ask questions about it in our forum and until then, plug
plug plug Bye bye bye. Autobots rollout. Why can we get pesmus Prime?
That's what I want? Buck and botan boot another from the backstock Pushpotocono pas