WEBVTT

1
00:00:02.879 --> 00:00:07.000
Welcome to Ron four of the Parenting
Roundabout podcast for the week of July third.

2
00:00:07.480 --> 00:00:11.599
I'm Catherine Heleco and I'm here with
Nicole Heretics. Hello, I'm Terry

3
00:00:11.640 --> 00:00:15.839
Morrow. Hello. As moms of
teens and young adults, we've survived those

4
00:00:15.880 --> 00:00:19.719
little kid days. Yeah, we're
still rethinking the decisions we've made all through

5
00:00:19.760 --> 00:00:24.320
our kids' lives and worrying about what's
going on right now. Today's Thursday,

6
00:00:24.399 --> 00:00:28.120
which means it's time to give in
to our obsessing. And today we're obsessing

7
00:00:28.120 --> 00:00:35.079
about learning new things as a parent, specifically in an effort to getting good

8
00:00:35.079 --> 00:00:40.479
with your kids. This was an
article that Nicole found on Scary Mummy about

9
00:00:40.520 --> 00:00:45.640
a mom who learns to skateboard so
that she can hang out with her kids.

10
00:00:45.840 --> 00:00:50.159
And I mean that's dedication, because
no, I would not I would

11
00:00:50.200 --> 00:00:53.799
not skateboard. But yeah, I
mean, so have you, either of

12
00:00:53.840 --> 00:01:00.280
you ever done maybe not as something
as extreme as learn not skateboard, but

13
00:01:00.399 --> 00:01:06.319
have you done other things to spend
more time with your kids? Huh?

14
00:01:06.439 --> 00:01:12.040
I mean I got into I at
least as a spectator hockey and figure skating,

15
00:01:12.840 --> 00:01:19.719
you know, because of my kids. I certainly didn't know anything about

16
00:01:19.760 --> 00:01:26.920
them before that, right, but
I haven't actually only once did I actually

17
00:01:26.959 --> 00:01:33.480
put on skates and skate myself one
fade in time. Yeah, like I

18
00:01:33.519 --> 00:01:38.359
think you know, there's like the
parents spectator and the one that takes them

19
00:01:38.400 --> 00:01:42.519
to all the sports and activities.
But yeah, like have you ever gotten

20
00:01:42.519 --> 00:01:47.519
in and participated and actually played?
I think is and it I mean just

21
00:01:47.799 --> 00:01:52.560
do being the spectator and this chauffeur
does give you a lot of time oh

22
00:01:52.719 --> 00:01:57.159
together. Oh yeah, there's no
denying that. Yeah, yeah, definitely,

23
00:01:57.519 --> 00:02:01.519
which has been good, you know, Yeah, I value so.

24
00:02:02.040 --> 00:02:07.400
I mean I didn't learn, but
when my daughter took up start doing tennis,

25
00:02:07.560 --> 00:02:12.439
I would go and play with her
like my husband and I would go

26
00:02:12.439 --> 00:02:15.599
and play a game with her.
There you go. Um yeah, so

27
00:02:15.719 --> 00:02:21.520
we did that. Um ohthough the
driving range every once in a while.

28
00:02:21.719 --> 00:02:23.719
But I haven't, like those are
already skills I already knew, Like I

29
00:02:23.719 --> 00:02:29.199
haven't really like when my son joined
water polo, I didn't think I'm gonna

30
00:02:29.240 --> 00:02:37.120
learn to play water polo. Oh
my gosh, I do you imagine that

31
00:02:37.159 --> 00:02:46.199
would not be good? Yeah.
So similarly, this wasn't something I learned,

32
00:02:46.280 --> 00:02:50.439
but it's something I reconnected with.
When my daughter was I think she

33
00:02:50.520 --> 00:02:54.159
was in middle school, right before
she went to high school. She was

34
00:02:54.199 --> 00:02:57.479
going to be in the band in
high school, and there was a community

35
00:02:57.520 --> 00:03:00.479
band that had a lot of alumni
from the marching band and the same director

36
00:03:00.479 --> 00:03:05.599
as as the high school band director. And it was suggested to us by

37
00:03:05.599 --> 00:03:07.280
someone, why doesn't she go be
in the community band this year and then

38
00:03:07.319 --> 00:03:12.120
she'll be familiar with things. So, you know, I could not just

39
00:03:12.240 --> 00:03:17.199
send her alone into that, and
so I dusted off my ancient flute and

40
00:03:17.319 --> 00:03:22.840
I put it together to see if
I could still play it. And I

41
00:03:22.879 --> 00:03:27.840
could not well, but I did
start playing the flute again to go and

42
00:03:28.360 --> 00:03:30.680
be in the community band with my
daughter, and I actually wound up staying

43
00:03:30.680 --> 00:03:37.159
in it longer than she did.
She stopped some time after high school.

44
00:03:37.840 --> 00:03:42.000
I kept going for a little bit, but I don't think I would have

45
00:03:42.120 --> 00:03:45.400
played my flute ever again had it
not been for that. Or you know,

46
00:03:45.479 --> 00:03:46.199
every now and then, you know
how it is. You put it

47
00:03:46.199 --> 00:03:51.039
together, you play something in a
songbook, and you go, boy,

48
00:03:51.080 --> 00:03:53.759
I can't do this anymore, and
you put a bar and put it back

49
00:03:53.800 --> 00:03:57.800
for another twenty years. But for
a while there I was playing it pretty

50
00:03:57.800 --> 00:04:03.240
steadily, band poorly, but you
know, because these were all people who

51
00:04:03.280 --> 00:04:08.000
played their instruments all the time and
they were really good, and I was

52
00:04:08.159 --> 00:04:14.080
like, I can play a good
one third of those notes, so I'll

53
00:04:14.080 --> 00:04:17.959
just provide that little bit of extra
volume for one third of the time.

54
00:04:18.519 --> 00:04:25.279
Yes, there was. There's a
Stars and Stripes Forever has a a flute

55
00:04:25.279 --> 00:04:29.319
part. It's really mostly played by
part. Yeah, if you're in a

56
00:04:29.319 --> 00:04:31.560
band and there's flutes, then the
flutes get to play a lot of fast

57
00:04:31.600 --> 00:04:35.360
notes too. But that was that. That song was the end of my

58
00:04:35.480 --> 00:04:41.319
school flute playing days. I was
in the band in middle school and I

59
00:04:41.399 --> 00:04:44.360
was pretty good and I felt pretty
good about I was first chair of the

60
00:04:44.360 --> 00:04:46.600
flutes. I felt really good about
myself. And then we got that to

61
00:04:46.720 --> 00:04:50.920
play and I could not do it. It's like, nope, nope,

62
00:04:50.959 --> 00:04:54.639
nope, can't play the piccolo part
on that. Can't even play it on

63
00:04:54.639 --> 00:05:00.319
the flute. How about choir?
I could wire Because it's it's like you

64
00:05:00.360 --> 00:05:03.399
could see I had gotten to the
to the highest level that my ability would

65
00:05:03.439 --> 00:05:10.040
take me and all downhill from there. So rather than take that as a

66
00:05:10.160 --> 00:05:14.519
challenge and take some extra lessons and
strengthen my ambrasure and do all these things

67
00:05:14.600 --> 00:05:20.279
I just said next, But then
I did go back and play it for

68
00:05:20.360 --> 00:05:26.759
my daughter. So, and did
you ever have to play started stripes in

69
00:05:26.800 --> 00:05:35.399
the community band? Every year?
I wiggled my fingers energetically their sound coming

70
00:05:35.439 --> 00:05:42.279
out. We're not too sure.
Hopefully there were enough out. There were

71
00:05:42.319 --> 00:05:45.399
some slower passages that I could play, But that part, it's like,

72
00:05:46.279 --> 00:05:51.040
I'm just wiggling my fingers and I'm
probably not the only one. But you

73
00:05:51.120 --> 00:05:55.600
know, there were enough really good
players that it was fine. If there

74
00:05:55.600 --> 00:06:00.519
had just been three flutes, it
would have been a problem. They would

75
00:06:00.560 --> 00:06:02.680
have known every now and then,
oh every now and then. The director

76
00:06:02.720 --> 00:06:05.680
would want each of us to play
individually. So he made sure we had

77
00:06:05.720 --> 00:06:09.040
something not for that song, but
something else. And I'm like, right,

78
00:06:09.079 --> 00:06:15.000
please, don't, please, don't
call on me. But he would

79
00:06:15.000 --> 00:06:17.120
not some people. He would make
them play it again and again, torture

80
00:06:17.160 --> 00:06:19.519
them till they got to write.
He just would would make me do it

81
00:06:19.560 --> 00:06:25.519
once and it's like, fine,
yeah, we're gonna move on. She's

82
00:06:25.639 --> 00:06:30.000
just a mom. He's not serious. But but so that was something I

83
00:06:30.040 --> 00:06:33.920
don't think there's been anything similar with
my son that he just has his interest

84
00:06:34.000 --> 00:06:42.240
in. He wants to pursue them
solitarily. But then you spectate, like

85
00:06:42.279 --> 00:06:46.079
when you go to the special Epics. Yes, goes bowling and stuff,

86
00:06:46.480 --> 00:06:55.560
right right, both of them now, so two child parent cheerer. Yeah,

87
00:06:55.920 --> 00:06:59.079
But my husband does that really more
than I do. He's a coach

88
00:06:59.160 --> 00:07:01.600
for some of the things, and
well, I mean one of many coaches

89
00:07:01.639 --> 00:07:05.560
for some of the things, and
so he's the one who takes them to

90
00:07:05.639 --> 00:07:10.040
do all those things. I just
go for the actual competitions, right right.

91
00:07:10.240 --> 00:07:14.959
So that's been his thing that he's
done to spend time with them.

92
00:07:15.000 --> 00:07:18.759
And that's good because as much as
I stink on the flute, I stink

93
00:07:18.839 --> 00:07:30.120
way more on sports. I have
a bundle of talent, y'all. My

94
00:07:30.199 --> 00:07:36.439
daughter, my daughter found out about
this. It's in like Sweden or Finland

95
00:07:36.519 --> 00:07:42.959
or you know, someplace like above
the Arctic Circle. They do a big

96
00:07:43.000 --> 00:07:49.920
like endurance race or event on ice
on ice skates, and she's like,

97
00:07:50.000 --> 00:07:58.800
we should do it, Oh what
like? Because I could walk long distances,

98
00:07:58.879 --> 00:08:05.000
but I don't know if I can
skate. But I do still have

99
00:08:05.079 --> 00:08:09.480
my rollerblades from when I was like
twenty three and living in New York City

100
00:08:09.920 --> 00:08:13.839
and used to rollerblade in Central Park. I still have them, I god,

101
00:08:13.000 --> 00:08:16.680
really, yeah, and you get
on them, like, do you

102
00:08:16.800 --> 00:08:20.360
use I haven't in a while,
but I just tried them on recently.

103
00:08:20.480 --> 00:08:24.399
You know, I was cleaning out
a closet recently and they were there and

104
00:08:24.120 --> 00:08:31.519
they still fit, so I could
if I didn't feel weird about being seen

105
00:08:31.639 --> 00:08:39.120
on the street. I used to
love that though, when I lived in

106
00:08:39.120 --> 00:08:43.360
this city. You know, I
would rollerblade over to Central Park and I

107
00:08:43.360 --> 00:08:48.559
would really rollerblade around the loop and
then I would sit and read the New

108
00:08:48.600 --> 00:08:52.960
York Times and the grass like,
Wow, that was a good day and

109
00:08:54.120 --> 00:09:01.000
you could do that, So you're
like the epitome of young and living in

110
00:09:01.000 --> 00:09:05.679
the city. That's right, And
that's the kind of thing my daughter would

111
00:09:05.720 --> 00:09:11.679
like to do too, But yeah, I would not want to do it

112
00:09:11.720 --> 00:09:16.440
personally, but it sounds nice.
Yeah, it's fun. So do you

113
00:09:16.440 --> 00:09:20.440
think she'll do it the big yeah
marathon thing. I don't know. I

114
00:09:20.480 --> 00:09:28.600
don't know. We'll see. Wow, that's exciting. Yeah, if either

115
00:09:28.639 --> 00:09:33.960
of us are going to do it, we probably need to be actively training

116
00:09:35.120 --> 00:09:41.000
and also saving our money because that
sounds expensive. Yeah, yeah, no

117
00:09:41.120 --> 00:09:48.440
kidding, will participate together in thinking
about how cool it would be to do

118
00:09:48.480 --> 00:09:52.399
that. Yeah, that's how people
will do that together, for sure.

119
00:09:52.240 --> 00:09:58.120
And of course there's all the time
we spend with our kids preparing podcasts.

120
00:09:58.200 --> 00:10:00.879
You know, they're so interested in
podcasts and we want to support them in

121
00:10:00.919 --> 00:10:05.279
that, and so we just go
ahead on ourselves and you know, we

122
00:10:05.399 --> 00:10:09.840
talk about them. That counts as
spending time with them. This is how

123
00:10:09.840 --> 00:10:13.919
we bond. I talk about my
daughter and then she listens to the podcast

124
00:10:13.919 --> 00:10:16.000
and it's almost like we're having a
conversation. It's great, right, it's

125
00:10:16.039 --> 00:10:20.480
awesome, But sorry, kids,
mom's got something else to do. That's

126
00:10:20.480 --> 00:10:24.679
going to be it for today's Round
four. Tune in tomorrow and we'll share

127
00:10:24.679 --> 00:10:28.639
our roundabout roundabout things we've been using
or enjoying lately that we think deserve a

128
00:10:28.679 --> 00:10:31.559
shout out. Find all our episodes
of parenting roundabout dot com and talk back

129
00:10:31.600 --> 00:10:35.200
in the comments. They're on our
Facebook page or on Twitter, where you'll

130
00:10:35.200 --> 00:10:37.759
find us at roundabout chat