1 00:00:00,640 --> 00:00:07,839 Made uh de Saint John, Oh, thanks, Sonny sum On, I 2 00:00:08,160 --> 00:00:19,839 hadon nice so nte? What's up everybody? It's it's us me and Stephanie. 3 00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:23,519 Yes, it's for crying out loud. Let us say hello to our 4 00:00:23,800 --> 00:00:29,280 fabulous got a new one? Oh HOI Meg Malloy. Yes, and we 5 00:00:29,320 --> 00:00:32,920 saw her yesterday on our zoom. Oh it was really nice. The zoom 6 00:00:33,039 --> 00:00:37,479 was so fun. Zoom hangout and Rachel Newcome? Why did you not? 7 00:00:37,640 --> 00:00:43,439 She's not new anymore. I know she's that's Rachel Oldcome. And Ashley she's 8 00:00:43,439 --> 00:00:47,399 so she she was there briefly. She made an appearance. Kelly Laddie da 9 00:00:47,479 --> 00:00:52,320 Amy's a count She was not there. Katie's rolling on e not Anna faris 10 00:00:52,399 --> 00:00:56,280 Aaron? Who is? She was there? Nikki call your girl? Not 11 00:00:56,359 --> 00:01:00,079 there? Leslie accosting people left and right. Yeah, and the other one's 12 00:01:00,119 --> 00:01:04,599 coughing up a storm. Still, it's a lot. It's two attention seeking 13 00:01:04,719 --> 00:01:10,879 at this point, it's enough already. Jacob is so growy and he was 14 00:01:10,920 --> 00:01:15,640 there. Rita was rocking. Elizabeth Williamson's kids who also was there. Hi, 15 00:01:15,719 --> 00:01:19,799 Elizabeth, Fina Ginscherd. We live your dancing, probably, we live 16 00:01:19,799 --> 00:01:22,599 your pancakes. Valerie hit it out of the park and came to the zoom. 17 00:01:23,200 --> 00:01:26,879 Katerina get that, Moler check Gabby and Missy. Neither one of them 18 00:01:26,879 --> 00:01:34,319 were they're white out crossing that right, losing their flip flops. Not there, 19 00:01:34,560 --> 00:01:38,480 Rebecca, No, but jo cute. Not there, Kelly Brandt, 20 00:01:38,640 --> 00:01:41,319 she's your aunt. But you know what, there's a new aunt in town. 21 00:01:41,480 --> 00:01:46,280 That's right, that's right? For uh? I think that was no. 22 00:01:46,359 --> 00:01:51,120 I forgot anyway. Alicia asked Alane, Sarah's the fun? Oh, 23 00:01:51,159 --> 00:01:55,560 Aaron is a dirty Sanchez. Jennifer get up. Sandra said, he's being 24 00:01:55,560 --> 00:01:57,000 green, but it was easy for you to come to our zoom Yep. 25 00:01:57,200 --> 00:02:02,239 Christa gets strapped and Stephanie's dinker Rinker was also there. Yes, what's up? 26 00:02:02,439 --> 00:02:08,719 What's up? So? Yeah, had had an interesting Friday, Yes, 27 00:02:08,919 --> 00:02:14,319 tell you about it? Yeah, so, uh, Friday morning the 28 00:02:14,400 --> 00:02:19,960 last few days of the week. As I told you last week, Kaylin 29 00:02:20,240 --> 00:02:28,199 Lynette, Friday was going to be some college decisions are coming right away, 30 00:02:28,360 --> 00:02:35,000 So Friday was going to be Berkeley, right and Tuesday, as in today 31 00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:38,000 that you're listening to the show is Santa Barbara and Wednesday's you see Okay, 32 00:02:38,719 --> 00:02:46,120 Now Elbe has been feeling very stressed out, but as her mom, I 33 00:02:46,159 --> 00:02:51,439 think I'm more stressed out. It's really, of course, really hard. 34 00:02:52,039 --> 00:02:58,199 As you know last year hot on, I know, LB got denied every 35 00:02:58,360 --> 00:03:02,000 college. I know. I repeat this to give but you have to understand 36 00:03:04,360 --> 00:03:09,199 that Elbe's circle of friends all got into amazing schools, and it's just it 37 00:03:09,400 --> 00:03:14,400 just it just ground her into the ground because she worked just as hard as 38 00:03:14,400 --> 00:03:17,639 her friends. She had amazing grades. We know that she picked a major 39 00:03:17,680 --> 00:03:23,479 that was impacted, which you know that college counselor I hired did not tell 40 00:03:23,520 --> 00:03:27,879 me. I'm still mad, you know, I need to learn to let 41 00:03:27,960 --> 00:03:35,080 that go. So Lbie watched as friend after friend got into these amazing schools 42 00:03:35,159 --> 00:03:38,039 and then was like, oh, LB, I'm sorry. Yeah. And 43 00:03:38,080 --> 00:03:42,240 then you know, Elbie actually sat in the car of one of her best 44 00:03:42,280 --> 00:03:47,360 friends when the Berkeley and UCLA came out. Her friend's dream school was Berkeley, 45 00:03:49,080 --> 00:03:52,439 and she was sitting in the car and she was just like, oh, 46 00:03:52,719 --> 00:03:54,879 I knew I didn't get in, but like I watched her and she 47 00:03:55,000 --> 00:03:59,840 was like, oh my god, I got in. Sorry LB. Anyway, 48 00:04:00,120 --> 00:04:01,439 that's what I'll be dealt with last year. As you know, then 49 00:04:01,479 --> 00:04:06,479 her boyfriend broke up with her ten days he left for school. What's a 50 00:04:06,520 --> 00:04:10,919 girl did not have a good and does she talk to him by the way 51 00:04:10,960 --> 00:04:17,519 at all? Ever? Yes? Oh okay, So this whole year has 52 00:04:17,600 --> 00:04:23,360 been just a major shit show, as you know. And I'm you know 53 00:04:23,439 --> 00:04:28,959 what, I am proud of this girl for I think somebody else like me 54 00:04:30,439 --> 00:04:32,519 would have just been like fuck it, I don't care, like I don't 55 00:04:32,560 --> 00:04:36,759 know. I don't know that I would have had the wherewithal to really try 56 00:04:36,800 --> 00:04:41,240 my hardest at community college. I just think, I, well, that's 57 00:04:41,279 --> 00:04:44,000 what happened to me. I didn't go to college, and then I just 58 00:04:44,160 --> 00:04:50,199 couldn't apply myself. I went to two classes in community college. I know 59 00:04:50,240 --> 00:04:54,920 we all know this already, but it's just like the motivation wasn't there as 60 00:04:54,959 --> 00:04:59,519 I was working. Yeah, it was also different time like when I would 61 00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:02,680 go it was time to go off after high school. Most of all of 62 00:05:02,720 --> 00:05:08,439 my friends just went and got jobs. Like very few of us went off 63 00:05:08,480 --> 00:05:13,639 to colleges. Some did and some didn't. So it wasn't like you know, 64 00:05:13,839 --> 00:05:16,439 our kids where all their friends are applying and everybody's applying. Everybody's got 65 00:05:16,480 --> 00:05:19,360 a college counselor to work with and shit like that, right, there was 66 00:05:19,399 --> 00:05:26,160 no college counselors to work with back then. Same you know. So it 67 00:05:26,199 --> 00:05:28,800 was like my you know, my parents told me the same thing, like 68 00:05:28,839 --> 00:05:30,959 what do you like to do? What do you want to do? Do 69 00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:32,360 you want to go to school? And school's not for me? Well, 70 00:05:32,759 --> 00:05:34,720 what do you want to do? Go to work? You know. So 71 00:05:34,800 --> 00:05:39,639 it was like that. It was different, you know for us. But 72 00:05:40,120 --> 00:05:44,600 yeah, it's it's different now. Yeah, especially if you're just in with 73 00:05:44,639 --> 00:05:47,639 a group of kids and they're all not only going to college but going to 74 00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:51,279 great schools, right, and then you just feel like, you know, 75 00:05:51,319 --> 00:05:55,399 I just know LB has been feeling like what is my life? You know? 76 00:05:55,639 --> 00:06:00,439 Yeah. But and then she got you know, wait listed to Polly 77 00:06:00,519 --> 00:06:02,439 Slow, which was you know, she just as you know, saw that 78 00:06:02,519 --> 00:06:05,720 as a bad sign. But then she got into Irvine and that was amazing. 79 00:06:06,399 --> 00:06:13,759 Now she has she remember that she went to go to Berkeley to visit 80 00:06:13,839 --> 00:06:15,680 her best friend. She has two best friends at Berkeley, So my friend 81 00:06:15,759 --> 00:06:20,480 Laura, my closest mom friend, her daughter who's been friends with LB their 82 00:06:20,519 --> 00:06:26,480 whole lives. She's there too, so her her two of her closest friends 83 00:06:26,480 --> 00:06:29,639 and she went to visit them and she had an amazing time. She's been 84 00:06:29,720 --> 00:06:33,439 not wanting to dare to get her hopes up for UCLA and Berkeley because they're 85 00:06:33,519 --> 00:06:39,079 impossible. They're the number one and umber number tied for number one public university 86 00:06:39,079 --> 00:06:43,959 in the country. Anyway, and she doesn't have like a ton of extracurriculars. 87 00:06:43,959 --> 00:06:46,040 I mean, she works, that's about it. Yeah, this whole, 88 00:06:46,240 --> 00:06:51,560 this whole college time, John and I have fought ourselves to not be 89 00:06:51,680 --> 00:06:55,240 those parents that are like, well, you know that would look good on 90 00:06:55,279 --> 00:06:58,199 your college application, like maybe you should stick with this club, maybe you 91 00:06:58,240 --> 00:07:00,279 should do that, you know, because you're a freaking' no I know. 92 00:07:00,879 --> 00:07:06,279 So anyway, Friday we wake up and I could not get to sleep the 93 00:07:06,360 --> 00:07:11,480 couple nights leading to Friday, and just because I was like, she's I 94 00:07:11,519 --> 00:07:15,160 don't think she's going to get into Berkeley, but I don't want the disappointment 95 00:07:15,240 --> 00:07:20,639 to just weigh her down so much that she just goes back into like feeling 96 00:07:20,800 --> 00:07:24,959 depressed. And you know, I just was like, I need her to 97 00:07:25,360 --> 00:07:32,040 still have hope for other schools. Right, So it's Friday, I'm whatever 98 00:07:32,199 --> 00:07:36,600 at like twelve thirty. I was going to my friend's a little birthday gathering 99 00:07:36,600 --> 00:07:41,160 for my friend that night, So I ask Elbie, do you want to 100 00:07:41,199 --> 00:07:44,360 go with me to the mall to help look for a gift for her? 101 00:07:44,720 --> 00:07:47,160 Spoiler alert, I didn't find anything for her. We all gave her gave 102 00:07:47,199 --> 00:07:50,759 money to her favorite charity, huh, or really to our favorite charity, 103 00:07:50,879 --> 00:07:55,360 and then told her that's now going to be our favorite charity. But I 104 00:07:55,360 --> 00:07:59,279 thought i'd find like a little funny mug at Spencer's. Yeah. Do you 105 00:07:59,439 --> 00:08:03,199 know this is a little side note? Do you know that everything in Spencer's, 106 00:08:03,240 --> 00:08:07,759 all the jokes these days are just all pot oriented? Is it all 107 00:08:07,800 --> 00:08:13,519 getting high every time? Is about like long? You know he's high as 108 00:08:13,560 --> 00:08:18,600 fuck? Or really? It used to be my favorite store at that mall, 109 00:08:18,759 --> 00:08:22,639 at the Tapega mall. Yeah, Oh my god, it used to 110 00:08:22,639 --> 00:08:26,279 be my favorite store. And I used to like save up money to buy 111 00:08:26,319 --> 00:08:30,519 posters and shit, yes, black light posts or black light post yes. 112 00:08:31,120 --> 00:08:35,039 But I haven't been to one in a Spencer's in years. Oh, I 113 00:08:35,639 --> 00:08:39,879 have gone regularly. Is it's at your mall? Yeah? And remember how 114 00:08:39,960 --> 00:08:43,000 taboo it felt to go in there too, because it felt like there were 115 00:08:43,120 --> 00:08:46,240 so many dirty jokes. Yes, and then like in the back of the 116 00:08:46,279 --> 00:08:50,240 store, it's all like bridal shower stuff, sax stuff, you know, 117 00:08:50,759 --> 00:08:54,360 but all the shirts are so inappropriate, right. I'll be bought herself a 118 00:08:54,399 --> 00:08:58,279 shirt at Spencer's a few weeks ago that says smells like slut in here, 119 00:09:00,080 --> 00:09:03,279 and she wears it all the time and it makes me laugh every time, 120 00:09:03,200 --> 00:09:07,919 smells like slut in here. Oh my god, she's really funny. So 121 00:09:09,480 --> 00:09:11,039 I go, oh, but you want to go to the mall with me 122 00:09:11,080 --> 00:09:13,519 to like get your mind off things. She's like, yeah, okay. 123 00:09:13,679 --> 00:09:16,960 So we're in the car and she's just like, oh, I'm just so 124 00:09:16,360 --> 00:09:20,320 anxious, And I said, well, I know. I was like, 125 00:09:20,360 --> 00:09:24,559 but you know, just keep your expectations really low, because you know, 126 00:09:24,720 --> 00:09:31,120 it's the acceptance rate at Berkeley is very low, even for transfers. Anyway, 127 00:09:31,200 --> 00:09:33,399 she was like, no, I totally know. But then here's the 128 00:09:33,440 --> 00:09:41,200 thing. I am obsessively following Reddit stuff about transferring, and it's so it 129 00:09:41,240 --> 00:09:46,799 feels awkward because it's all the kids that are posting there like oh my god, 130 00:09:46,879 --> 00:09:50,000 I'm shitting myself like about today, like oh my god, if I 131 00:09:50,039 --> 00:09:52,120 don't get into Berkeley, Like, I don't know what I'm going to do, 132 00:09:52,320 --> 00:09:56,360 and I got waitlisted for Irvine? What do you would chance me? 133 00:09:56,799 --> 00:10:03,120 So I have and to know that the decisions were coming out at three o'clock. 134 00:10:03,320 --> 00:10:05,720 That's what everybody was saying. So Elbe's like, I don't the decisions 135 00:10:05,720 --> 00:10:09,600 are supposed to come out like in the late afternoon, around four or five. 136 00:10:09,240 --> 00:10:13,960 And I was like, and I don't want to be super cringe and'll 137 00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:16,440 be like, well, according to Reddit, supposed to be three, right, 138 00:10:16,919 --> 00:10:20,279 you know what I mean, because it's this is her journey. Yes, 139 00:10:20,399 --> 00:10:22,399 yeah, But I was like, oh, really did you do? 140 00:10:22,519 --> 00:10:26,200 You know that for sure? And she's like no, but that's what people 141 00:10:26,279 --> 00:10:28,960 say, like late afternoon. And I was like, okay, because it 142 00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:33,559 could be like three. Then I like, look away a little bit. 143 00:10:33,919 --> 00:10:37,759 You can't see me doing that. But I'm like, it could be three. 144 00:10:37,039 --> 00:10:39,759 I don't know. I mean, what do I know? I mean, 145 00:10:39,799 --> 00:10:45,639 I do know it's three. Yeah, But anyway, so Elvie's like, 146 00:10:45,799 --> 00:10:48,159 oh, is it it's three? Where'd you hear that? I read 147 00:10:48,159 --> 00:10:50,559 it? I don't know, so I read it somewhere, you know I 148 00:10:50,600 --> 00:10:54,840 read it? Read it? Yeah, somewhere somewhere. Yeah. So there's 149 00:10:54,919 --> 00:11:01,159 this website called missus sun I think it's called, and a lot of you 150 00:11:01,200 --> 00:11:05,639 know, my also obsession. I'm actually off of paying for college one oh 151 00:11:05,639 --> 00:11:07,519 one. Oh okay, good. I don't follow it anymore, but every 152 00:11:07,559 --> 00:11:09,679 once in a while I go look at it. But it's all they talk 153 00:11:09,720 --> 00:11:15,840 about is FAFSA uh huh on there. So anyway, yeah, and then 154 00:11:15,879 --> 00:11:18,200 if you say that, if you say your kid got into a college, 155 00:11:18,240 --> 00:11:20,639 they're always like, move it over to the rear. To the roar. 156 00:11:22,279 --> 00:11:24,960 Roar is where you're allowed to say what college your kid got into. So 157 00:11:26,039 --> 00:11:30,000 anytime somebody's like, hey, decisions for session and such came out, my 158 00:11:30,080 --> 00:11:33,600 kid got in, the admins are always like, you got to move that 159 00:11:33,720 --> 00:11:39,519 to the returning off comments. Why there's just so so so stupid. So 160 00:11:39,679 --> 00:11:43,600 parents find a way around that by going like, my kid got into you 161 00:11:43,600 --> 00:11:50,399 know whatever school. But my question is, it's like it's trying to get 162 00:11:50,440 --> 00:11:54,639 around the dators. We see you, I see you, right, or 163 00:11:54,840 --> 00:11:56,919 move it over to the roar. Yeah yeah, you're only allowed and then 164 00:11:58,600 --> 00:12:01,159 anyway, So whatever, I hate I hate paying for college one on one, 165 00:12:01,360 --> 00:12:05,120 So I'll about Reddit yeah, okay, so wait, what's missus Sun. 166 00:12:05,240 --> 00:12:09,840 So missus Sun is something that's that knows a lot about all the UC's 167 00:12:09,679 --> 00:12:16,080 so, so missus Sun it's like a website if you if you google miss 168 00:12:16,120 --> 00:12:20,919 missus Sun. There it's all about the UC system and it there's a lot 169 00:12:20,919 --> 00:12:26,159 of information on there. But somehow's that website will tell you what the decision 170 00:12:26,240 --> 00:12:30,720 dates are for most schools now they don't know one hundred percent, but like 171 00:12:30,799 --> 00:12:35,360 Berkeley officially put it out that their decisions were coming out on Friday, but 172 00:12:35,360 --> 00:12:37,480 they don't say what time. Okay, okay, So anyway, we go 173 00:12:37,519 --> 00:12:41,200 to the mall Alb's like, Mom, I just oh so like distracted, 174 00:12:41,240 --> 00:12:46,519 you know, like I totally get it, true, but I don't want 175 00:12:46,559 --> 00:12:50,000 to make it about me. So I just I try to I try to 176 00:12:50,039 --> 00:12:54,879 be a mom and not an obsessive freak like I'm feeling on the inside. 177 00:12:54,919 --> 00:12:58,559 I try to just parent and go, yeah, I get it your journey 178 00:12:58,559 --> 00:13:03,679 too, So like it. You know, I mean, you're her mom 179 00:13:05,120 --> 00:13:09,679 my concern and it's her mental state. My concern is that, you know, 180 00:13:09,840 --> 00:13:16,399 it's not even the disappointment I understand, Like listen, rejection is redirection 181 00:13:16,759 --> 00:13:20,720 and all that shit, you know, But how much more rejection does this 182 00:13:20,799 --> 00:13:26,279 could need right now? And my fear is getting these big rejections again, 183 00:13:26,879 --> 00:13:31,440 Like if it didn't stop her motivation last year, I can't imagine what she 184 00:13:31,480 --> 00:13:37,279 would do if she didn't get in anywhere now going into this SDSU. I 185 00:13:37,320 --> 00:13:41,480 told you she got into that school and she got into Irvine, So we're 186 00:13:41,519 --> 00:13:46,279 not all is not lost, like we're sitting in a good position. We're 187 00:13:46,279 --> 00:13:50,480 happy, you know, but whatever, and she's still more decisions to go 188 00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:56,919 and she didn't. You guys, never went to look at sdu So San 189 00:13:56,919 --> 00:14:01,480 Diego. No. And we had kind of a a thing about it because 190 00:14:01,360 --> 00:14:05,240 I really wanted her to go to SDSU. I thought if we went down 191 00:14:05,279 --> 00:14:11,000 to SDSU on the accepted students day, she went to go see you see 192 00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:13,799 Santa Cruz. As you remember last year, she didn't want to go to 193 00:14:13,799 --> 00:14:18,879 school on a hiking trail. They made the drive. It's like a you 194 00:14:18,919 --> 00:14:22,519 know, seven hour drive out there. But she didn't get into accepted students 195 00:14:22,600 --> 00:14:26,559 day. It was too full already. So she had just a really boring 196 00:14:26,639 --> 00:14:30,519 tour of the school where she felt like she was walking through a forest, 197 00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:35,679 which she was and it just wasn't impressive. So I had it in my 198 00:14:35,799 --> 00:14:39,200 mind like I got to get her to go to Accepted Students Day where it's 199 00:14:39,240 --> 00:14:43,960 going to be tons of energy people from her department, Like I want her 200 00:14:43,039 --> 00:14:48,120 to get psyched, you know, but she was like, I can't get 201 00:14:48,120 --> 00:14:52,399 the day off work, you know. I think we in retrospect what was 202 00:14:52,440 --> 00:14:56,080 going on is she's just very much like wanting to know what are my choices 203 00:14:56,279 --> 00:15:01,200 and then I'll go CEUs depending on I don't want to drive all the way 204 00:15:01,240 --> 00:15:05,720 to San Diego do this whole thing. If if I can help, if 205 00:15:05,720 --> 00:15:09,080 I can go to somewhere that I really want to go. And I think 206 00:15:09,120 --> 00:15:13,639 in her mind her top choice was U see Santa Barbara, where she got 207 00:15:13,679 --> 00:15:16,120 where she was really hopeful for last year. She got waitlisted, she never 208 00:15:16,159 --> 00:15:20,240 got off the waitlist. I think she thought that was an achievable school this 209 00:15:20,360 --> 00:15:24,720 year, and if she got in there, she'd go, Okay, that 210 00:15:24,759 --> 00:15:31,480 one comes out today when you're listening to this, and UCLA comes out tomorrow. 211 00:15:31,840 --> 00:15:37,360 That kind of stay okay. So we come home from the mall, 212 00:15:37,799 --> 00:15:43,519 it's like a little bit before three, and I'm like okay, bye, 213 00:15:43,799 --> 00:15:48,240 and I go to my computer and I look at Reddit and it's like all 214 00:15:48,279 --> 00:15:54,639 these posts are like, oh my god, countdown any minute now, you 215 00:15:54,679 --> 00:15:58,120 know. Meanwhile Elb's going to check it like four or five, right, 216 00:15:58,840 --> 00:16:02,120 But I get my own. I know better, but I don't want to 217 00:16:02,159 --> 00:16:06,080 say anything. So it's at three o'clock. Right at three o'clock, somebody 218 00:16:06,080 --> 00:16:07,840 goes, Davis is out. So you see, Davis was out. She 219 00:16:07,840 --> 00:16:11,600 didn't apply there. So then somebody's like, oh my god, where's Berkeley. 220 00:16:11,600 --> 00:16:15,480 Where's Berkeley? Now? It's like three oh two, and somebody else 221 00:16:15,759 --> 00:16:18,519 says, uh, chill, They'll usually come out like a couple minutes after 222 00:16:18,639 --> 00:16:26,279 three. So then I refresh again and somebody's like, Berkeley's out. My 223 00:16:26,440 --> 00:16:30,200 heart starts beating like a hand. My heart's beating right now, just listening. 224 00:16:30,519 --> 00:16:33,480 So I go, I go. I try to be cool, you 225 00:16:33,480 --> 00:16:36,919 know, I go. I saunter into her room. I don't know if 226 00:16:36,960 --> 00:16:41,039 saunter's the right word. I just like real casual, like, hey, 227 00:16:41,120 --> 00:16:44,759 what's up? Just poke them my head and I was like, so Berkeley's 228 00:16:44,799 --> 00:16:49,519 out. She looks at me, what did you? She doesn't know because 229 00:16:49,639 --> 00:16:53,000 I'm trying not to be like I'm all over Reddit. I know, because 230 00:16:53,039 --> 00:16:56,960 every time I do, she rolls her eyes at me. Yeah, and 231 00:16:56,000 --> 00:17:00,960 I feel stupid, you know, like, mom, why are you so 232 00:17:00,039 --> 00:17:04,119 obsessed with that? You know? Okay, So she's like it is Are 233 00:17:04,119 --> 00:17:07,519 you sure? And I go, yep, I'm sure. So she goes, 234 00:17:07,559 --> 00:17:11,039 oh my god, I'm so nervous. So she opens her computer. 235 00:17:11,079 --> 00:17:15,960 She clicks on the thing for her portal that's where they update you. And 236 00:17:17,039 --> 00:17:19,839 I'm sitting right next to her looking at her computer and she opens it up 237 00:17:19,920 --> 00:17:25,559 and it says your application's under review, still under review, and she's like, 238 00:17:26,559 --> 00:17:30,519 fuck, it's not. It does it's not? Can you go check? 239 00:17:30,559 --> 00:17:33,279 Can you go see? Are you sure? So I'm like, okay, 240 00:17:33,279 --> 00:17:36,279 I'll be right back. So I go back to my room, I 241 00:17:36,480 --> 00:17:41,480 go boot back up the reddit page and then I see, you know, 242 00:17:41,559 --> 00:17:45,039 now there's like ten comments, and a few of them are like I don't 243 00:17:45,079 --> 00:17:48,519 see it. Mine's not updated. But a few of them are like I'm 244 00:17:48,599 --> 00:17:52,880 in Oh my god, I'm crying, you know. And then uh so 245 00:17:52,920 --> 00:17:56,440 I'm like fuck, so I so because my brain, my mind is like, 246 00:17:56,119 --> 00:18:00,319 so, maybe they're telling the people who got in first, and then 247 00:18:00,359 --> 00:18:04,480 the people who aren't, who aren't getting their results yet are because they're not 248 00:18:04,519 --> 00:18:11,799 telling the rejections yet. So I screenshot what I'm seeing with the with the 249 00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:15,279 trying to be upbeat, like, well, hey, not everybody's is updated 250 00:18:15,359 --> 00:18:18,359 yet. So I screenshot that and I send it to her and then uh, 251 00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:22,839 and then I go back in her room just to say like, hey, 252 00:18:22,960 --> 00:18:26,640 all is not lost, like some people are still waiting for their results. 253 00:18:26,160 --> 00:18:30,839 So she reboots, she refreshes her screen again, and she's like, 254 00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:33,839 I don't have anything. And I'm like, well, do you see the 255 00:18:33,200 --> 00:18:36,039 thing I sent you? And she's like, yeah, I'm looking at it 256 00:18:36,119 --> 00:18:41,079 right now, and then she refreshes again and she goes, oh god, 257 00:18:42,240 --> 00:18:52,920 I got it. Then fucking craziness ensued and I I don't think I've ever 258 00:18:52,920 --> 00:18:56,759 been so fucking happy in my entire life. I was screaming at the top 259 00:18:56,799 --> 00:19:03,000 of my lum. We started jumping up and down and hugging and ran into 260 00:19:03,039 --> 00:19:10,640 the other room and Elbie was starts crying, and John's like, what's going 261 00:19:10,720 --> 00:19:18,359 on? And Alway's like and she falls down on her knees and is just 262 00:19:18,400 --> 00:19:23,799 like crying and like freaking out, and I was She's like, I gotta 263 00:19:23,839 --> 00:19:30,400 tell my friends, and I was like, I gotta tell my friends more 264 00:19:30,440 --> 00:19:37,799 importantly, and we both start like texting people because my friend Laura, whose 265 00:19:37,880 --> 00:19:42,200 daughter is there, has been on the biggest pins and needles and she's I 266 00:19:42,799 --> 00:19:48,079 was super happy for her daughter when she got in and she's was so I 267 00:19:48,119 --> 00:19:51,359 think equally sad. It's like, it's happening to your own kid. Cool, 268 00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:55,519 she's been in pain, so she's just been waiting and oh my god. 269 00:19:55,599 --> 00:20:00,720 And then she was just like doing you know, like crying and still 270 00:20:02,039 --> 00:20:04,319 yelling, and it felt like I felt like we were having a dream. 271 00:20:04,960 --> 00:20:11,319 So she was super super excited. She was facetiming her friends and her friends 272 00:20:11,319 --> 00:20:14,319 were freaking out. And then and then she had to go to work, 273 00:20:14,920 --> 00:20:18,680 so she was leaving for work. I can't remember. So now it's like 274 00:20:18,759 --> 00:20:22,920 three point thirty and she had to leave for work like in an hour. 275 00:20:22,039 --> 00:20:26,119 So anyway, she's doing her makeup and all of a sudden, she comes 276 00:20:26,119 --> 00:20:30,319 in and she's like, mom, you see San Diego. Decisions are out. 277 00:20:30,599 --> 00:20:34,559 Now that's a really hard ucy to get into because you can't tag that 278 00:20:34,640 --> 00:20:37,960 one. As I explained to you about the tag system, you it's one 279 00:20:38,039 --> 00:20:42,440 of the top tier you sees as well, and she was like, oh 280 00:20:42,519 --> 00:20:48,279 my god, I got a check, got into got into you see, 281 00:20:48,319 --> 00:20:53,880 San Diego, and got into Berkeley in one day. While she's feeling so 282 00:20:55,200 --> 00:20:59,400 much better. Thank God, this poor kid. Yes, and she would 283 00:20:59,480 --> 00:21:03,720 go to Burke for sure before I think Santa Barbara. Yeah, but her 284 00:21:03,839 --> 00:21:11,559 dream school is UCLA, so we're super happy and I think you'll go there. 285 00:21:11,920 --> 00:21:15,839 I think, like, if she gets into UCLA, that's her massive, 286 00:21:15,880 --> 00:21:21,079 massive dream and she's just praying. It's amazing. And remember that UCLA 287 00:21:21,200 --> 00:21:25,640 has that special honors program that helps you get in and she didn't end up 288 00:21:25,640 --> 00:21:32,359 in because the stupid counselor at school, yes, didn't specify how to sign 289 00:21:32,480 --> 00:21:36,839 up for honors, right, she just told her, do do this class, 290 00:21:37,119 --> 00:21:40,039 do this honors class. So she signed up for that class that she 291 00:21:40,119 --> 00:21:44,559 was told to sign up for and it wasn't honors separate sign up. She 292 00:21:44,640 --> 00:21:48,400 didn't know. So anyway, oh my gosh, that's such great news. 293 00:21:48,440 --> 00:21:52,200 Like I had a feeling she was going to be she was going to get 294 00:21:52,200 --> 00:21:56,960 in like you did. Yeah, I did not have a good feeling. 295 00:21:56,079 --> 00:21:59,839 You're her mom and you're in the thick of it. But like she's a 296 00:21:59,920 --> 00:22:03,599 good student, I know, but there are tons of kids are four point 297 00:22:03,640 --> 00:22:07,119 zero students and they get rejected, like I mean, tons of kids with 298 00:22:07,599 --> 00:22:11,319 better stats than Lbe got rejected from Irvine. So you know, yes, 299 00:22:11,359 --> 00:22:15,559 she has stuff going for her. She has two associate's degrees that she already 300 00:22:15,559 --> 00:22:19,079 made in one year. She looks like a go getter. But you just 301 00:22:19,160 --> 00:22:23,759 don't know what they're looking for. But you know what, speaking of mental 302 00:22:23,799 --> 00:22:30,640 health, yes, our show is sponsored by Better Help and we're so excited 303 00:22:30,680 --> 00:22:34,799 to be sponsored by Better Help because therapy is so important and Better Help makes 304 00:22:34,839 --> 00:22:41,880 therapy accessible to everybody. You know, maybe I just don't have time to 305 00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:48,720 go to a therapist's office and figure out you know, the parking and the 306 00:22:49,599 --> 00:22:53,680 this and the that and the the you know, the commute alone can make 307 00:22:53,720 --> 00:22:56,480 it really difficult to do. Better Help. You can just do it from 308 00:22:56,559 --> 00:23:00,240 your bed. Just do it from your bed, and if you need if 309 00:23:00,279 --> 00:23:06,200 you don't like who you get a sign you can you can find another therapist 310 00:23:06,200 --> 00:23:10,960 that fits your needs. You can switch therapists anytime, and it's entirely online. 311 00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:15,839 It's flexible. My kids are in therapy, which is a good time 312 00:23:15,880 --> 00:23:18,720 for them to be in therapy. All three of my kids are in therapy, 313 00:23:19,160 --> 00:23:26,119 and I swear by it. I credit LB's resiliency and you know, 314 00:23:26,880 --> 00:23:32,680 improve mental health honestly to a therapist. Yeah, absolutely so. If you're 315 00:23:32,680 --> 00:23:37,319 thinking of starting therapy, give Better Help a try find your social sweet spot 316 00:23:37,359 --> 00:23:41,960 with better Help. Visit Betterhelp dot com slash f c ol today to get 317 00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:48,440 ten percent off your first month. That's Better Help. H e LP dot 318 00:23:48,480 --> 00:23:55,960 com slash f c O l Oh. Yeah, that's awesome news. That's 319 00:23:55,960 --> 00:23:59,759 so great, Kaitlin. Are you happy for me? I'm very happy for 320 00:23:59,839 --> 00:24:08,400 you, specifically for you all about me. It's so hard to I mean, 321 00:24:08,599 --> 00:24:12,640 I'm being funny about this, but it I have felt very self centered 322 00:24:12,640 --> 00:24:17,359 about it because it's who's the one who has to pick up the pieces like 323 00:24:17,599 --> 00:24:22,519 exactly you know me. It's very challenging to parent your kid when they're just 324 00:24:22,880 --> 00:24:26,359 like, when their motivation has decreased, when they just feel, you know, 325 00:24:27,240 --> 00:24:32,440 loads of rejection. You feel like you have to be a cheerleader all 326 00:24:32,480 --> 00:24:34,599 the time, and it's so hard, and you know, it's just such 327 00:24:34,640 --> 00:24:41,480 a fear to go. I don't know how much more right now. It's 328 00:24:41,519 --> 00:24:45,960 it's so hard. Yeah, like the motivation. When you see their motivation 329 00:24:45,599 --> 00:24:49,759 and their their spirits get crushed no matter what age they are, you know. 330 00:24:49,920 --> 00:24:53,960 I remember when my kids were struggling when they were young, like you 331 00:24:55,000 --> 00:25:00,359 know, in sixth grade, seventh grade, you know, and they you 332 00:25:00,400 --> 00:25:03,240 know, just like not getting good grades and you know, and then well 333 00:25:03,279 --> 00:25:07,160 they have to get we should get them on the IEP and then that helped, 334 00:25:07,160 --> 00:25:10,839 you know, Like, but when they're not, when they're when you 335 00:25:10,880 --> 00:25:15,880 see them legitimately trying and then they're still not getting anywhere at school and like 336 00:25:17,480 --> 00:25:22,079 thriving or whatever, that's when their motivation gets crushed. And that's when us 337 00:25:22,119 --> 00:25:26,200 as parents feel like we have to do something about it. You know, 338 00:25:26,359 --> 00:25:30,039 it's like up to us to figure it out, you know, like these 339 00:25:30,039 --> 00:25:34,079 little little helpless birdies, like they need to be helped, you know, 340 00:25:34,200 --> 00:25:37,759 and we have to figure out their way. So yeah, it's it's it's 341 00:25:37,880 --> 00:25:44,599 it's tough. It's a lot. When Sadie and Xander switch schools to the 342 00:25:44,880 --> 00:25:48,880 to the large public school, and it was you know, and Sadie was 343 00:25:48,880 --> 00:25:52,400 pretty traumatized. And then they had that mister Zippity Doo dah. Yeah, 344 00:25:52,920 --> 00:25:56,799 day one, mister zippity DooDah, like wouldn't let them back in the classroom, 345 00:25:56,839 --> 00:26:00,480 like the door locked. They went out to go find their locker or 346 00:26:00,480 --> 00:26:04,799 whatever their first day and they were having trouble finding their classes and he was 347 00:26:04,880 --> 00:26:10,559 just a dick to them and like enjoyed their humiliation. Both of them at 348 00:26:10,559 --> 00:26:17,000 different times had work in tears. And then Sadie, who I had put 349 00:26:17,039 --> 00:26:21,720 in honors classes, you know right away, was like drowning. You know. 350 00:26:22,680 --> 00:26:25,880 That was just one of the worst times because I felt like, oh 351 00:26:25,960 --> 00:26:30,680 my god, I did this to them, you know, I put them 352 00:26:30,000 --> 00:26:33,680 in this. I kind of blame our listeners because a lot of our listeners 353 00:26:34,039 --> 00:26:40,039 were constantly like, why don't you put your kids in your neighborhood public school. 354 00:26:40,480 --> 00:26:42,880 That's how they're going to find their people that you know, put them 355 00:26:42,880 --> 00:26:47,920 in the neighborhood school. They said it'll be great. They said it wasn't 356 00:26:47,920 --> 00:26:52,400 fucking great. It was really one of the most traumatizing things that's happened to 357 00:26:52,960 --> 00:26:59,000 both of them. Xander ended up finding his way, but Sadie was crushed. 358 00:26:59,119 --> 00:27:03,319 And I really considered all of my options, one of them being like 359 00:27:03,359 --> 00:27:10,880 homeschooling or because every single day she was crying, and you know how I 360 00:27:10,920 --> 00:27:15,680 didn't even ask how school was because she was barely speaking, you know, 361 00:27:15,799 --> 00:27:18,880 John and I just did not know what to do. That's that's when we 362 00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:22,720 got her. Well, she was already in therapy at that time, but 363 00:27:22,799 --> 00:27:27,920 that's when we ended up getting her medicated because she just was a shell of 364 00:27:27,960 --> 00:27:33,440 herself. She was there was no joy. She would come home from school, 365 00:27:33,799 --> 00:27:36,960 go in her room, shut the door, and just like either go 366 00:27:37,039 --> 00:27:41,119 to sleep, you know, yeah, totally demotivated. I had to take 367 00:27:41,119 --> 00:27:45,279 her out of all the honors classes, put her in all just regular classes 368 00:27:45,720 --> 00:27:51,160 where she was not with any kids that were that were sort of like Xander 369 00:27:51,160 --> 00:27:55,240 was starting to make a friend group, you know, Sadie would just kind 370 00:27:55,240 --> 00:27:57,480 of follow him around at lunch. It was such a such a hard time. 371 00:27:59,240 --> 00:28:03,359 And I have to say that when Elbie did not get into any schools 372 00:28:03,480 --> 00:28:07,960 and was just going to go to community college and you know, stay home 373 00:28:07,039 --> 00:28:10,440 and she was in her room a lot, I was like, oh no 374 00:28:10,640 --> 00:28:15,319 again, I know, I know it's so sad. Yeah, but you 375 00:28:15,359 --> 00:28:19,759 know it is like what makes you know, like resilience and learning, rejection 376 00:28:19,960 --> 00:28:23,200 and all that, But it's like how much, yeah, like how much 377 00:28:23,240 --> 00:28:29,039 can a kid take? You know it is? Yeah, I remember I 378 00:28:29,160 --> 00:28:32,440 was homeschooled. I forgot about. Did I ever tell you I was homeschool 379 00:28:32,559 --> 00:28:36,839 No, I think I did. I went to school with Jamie Fars. 380 00:28:37,160 --> 00:28:40,279 Oh yeah, yeah son, yeah yeah, yes, yeah. You guys 381 00:28:40,279 --> 00:28:44,599 had the little homeschooling community. Yes we did. And that your dad a 382 00:28:44,720 --> 00:28:48,920 range. Yeah, My dad and like another parent and some like three parents 383 00:28:48,960 --> 00:28:53,119 decided it was just me and like six other kids. Jamie Farr's son. 384 00:28:53,200 --> 00:28:57,200 I remember they had a dog that was blind and deaf, and I was 385 00:28:57,240 --> 00:29:03,000 like, what the fuck is this? How does this creature exist in my 386 00:29:03,200 --> 00:29:07,119 Like I was probably I think I was like in it was my fifth grade 387 00:29:07,200 --> 00:29:11,559 year or sixth grade. I had something like that, and I hated it. 388 00:29:11,559 --> 00:29:15,559 It was like I was at home, like I wanted to be at 389 00:29:15,599 --> 00:29:18,839 school with my friends. So you guys didn't go to each other's houses. 390 00:29:18,319 --> 00:29:22,880 We went to what they never we went to Jamie Farr's house. It was 391 00:29:22,960 --> 00:29:26,119 just always at that house and I would just get dropped off in picks. 392 00:29:26,160 --> 00:29:30,079 So was your dad friends with Jamie Farr or was he friends with somebody that 393 00:29:30,240 --> 00:29:33,880 was friends with Jamie Farr? Something like that. I don't know. I 394 00:29:33,920 --> 00:29:38,839 don't I have no idea how it became about, but I just remember it 395 00:29:38,880 --> 00:29:42,400 was the worst year. I just hated it because I was like, what's 396 00:29:42,480 --> 00:29:48,039 real? Like all I cared about was recess and lunch and like socializing, 397 00:29:48,119 --> 00:29:51,759 and there was only like the same six kids, you know, every day, 398 00:29:51,880 --> 00:29:53,880 day in and day out, and it was just like ugh, you 399 00:29:53,920 --> 00:29:57,039 know. But I got through with that year, and then I went to 400 00:29:57,200 --> 00:30:02,880 like Columbus Junior High in Canoga Park, Oh. Then I went to the 401 00:30:02,960 --> 00:30:07,079 high school or junior junior high, and then in eighth grade, my dad 402 00:30:07,119 --> 00:30:12,079 took me out of that and sent me to the the the alternative school, 403 00:30:12,119 --> 00:30:15,799 the Magnet School. Now, did you have friends at the junior high? 404 00:30:17,519 --> 00:30:19,839 Yes, I did. My girlfriend that lived on the street with me, 405 00:30:21,400 --> 00:30:25,640 Wendy, Like she was my best friend, and we went to that together. 406 00:30:25,839 --> 00:30:29,680 And then I didn't want to leave that highst that junior high. I 407 00:30:29,720 --> 00:30:32,200 wanted to go. I was supposed to go to Canoga Park High School that 408 00:30:32,319 --> 00:30:36,039 was my high school, and it was no good back then, and my 409 00:30:36,200 --> 00:30:38,279 dad was like, no, you need to go to like a magnet school 410 00:30:38,279 --> 00:30:44,000 and van eyes it's artsy, it's this and that theater and then you know, 411 00:30:44,559 --> 00:30:47,599 and that's what my kids school is like, yeah, yeah, but 412 00:30:48,680 --> 00:30:52,000 so then yeah, but that was like my kids school. Literally, my 413 00:30:52,079 --> 00:30:55,759 kids high school is probably the same as your high school was back then. 414 00:30:55,920 --> 00:31:00,920 Really yeah, literally, only a few hundred kids the whole school. Yeah, 415 00:31:02,200 --> 00:31:06,599 and everybody was busting drama. Yeah. Well there's no busting at ours 416 00:31:06,599 --> 00:31:10,240 because it's not a magnet, it's a charter. But you know, they're 417 00:31:10,240 --> 00:31:15,240 all about the drama department, the music department. They have poetry competitions, 418 00:31:15,240 --> 00:31:22,240 they have Shakespeare competitions, they have you know, all the art. Yeah, 419 00:31:22,599 --> 00:31:26,480 a lot of that photography we had. Yeah, my photography class was 420 00:31:26,519 --> 00:31:32,319 fun. But no sports. No, we don't have that either. No 421 00:31:32,359 --> 00:31:34,440 sports, which was fine with me because I didn't play sports, right, 422 00:31:34,640 --> 00:31:40,200 but see, my kids were kind of bummed about the no sports. But 423 00:31:40,240 --> 00:31:41,880 I'm like, what sport are you going to play? Like, they're not 424 00:31:41,920 --> 00:31:47,200 going to play a sport right right, It's just there's no like Friday night 425 00:31:47,319 --> 00:31:52,680 football game right right. But because other schools in the area that they can 426 00:31:52,720 --> 00:31:56,240 go to those kids games if they want to write, which we did because 427 00:31:56,279 --> 00:32:00,799 that school that I went to was next door to Birmingham School, so we 428 00:32:00,839 --> 00:32:02,720 would always go to Bird. That's how I met Mike Gerstein and Glenn and 429 00:32:02,720 --> 00:32:07,960 those guys because they went to Birmingham. Okay, yeah, yeah, Birmingham's 430 00:32:07,000 --> 00:32:12,359 right by my house. Yeah. So you know the Magnet School I'm talking 431 00:32:12,359 --> 00:32:15,119 about that. Oh yeah, of course, yeah, yeah, yeah, 432 00:32:15,200 --> 00:32:19,319 the Valley Alternative School. Yeah, Alternative Magnet School. Yeah, they have 433 00:32:19,359 --> 00:32:22,079 a mural out there, like sure do. Yeah, it's the same. 434 00:32:22,599 --> 00:32:25,319 It's the same. To go drive by it. I know, I haven't 435 00:32:25,359 --> 00:32:29,880 seen it in so long. It's the same. We used to use that 436 00:32:30,000 --> 00:32:32,680 school. So, you know, the choices in LA. If you want 437 00:32:32,680 --> 00:32:37,279 to get your kids into Magnet school, you have to you have to apply 438 00:32:37,240 --> 00:32:42,000 to certain schools. So everybody applies to one that they know they can't get 439 00:32:42,039 --> 00:32:45,119 into, and it's that school, a Valley Alternative Magnet. It's such a 440 00:32:45,160 --> 00:32:47,480 small school that they don't have enough spots. So what you do is you 441 00:32:47,640 --> 00:32:52,599 apply to that when you get turned down, and then you get points so 442 00:32:52,599 --> 00:32:54,559 that you start accruing points, and if you have a certain amount of points, 443 00:32:54,559 --> 00:32:59,119 it's easier to get into. So, like let's say you want to 444 00:32:59,160 --> 00:33:06,119 go to SOSA, which is Sherman Oaks Center for enriched studies. That's a 445 00:33:06,160 --> 00:33:08,559 big that's that's like a medium sized school that a lot of kids want to 446 00:33:08,599 --> 00:33:12,920 go to. It's a magnet. If you want to go there for high 447 00:33:12,960 --> 00:33:15,240 school, you just you just apply to a schools year after year after year 448 00:33:15,240 --> 00:33:19,559 that are going to say no, and then you'll have a bunch of points 449 00:33:19,599 --> 00:33:22,720 that will hopefully get you in when your kids in high school. Interesting, 450 00:33:22,079 --> 00:33:28,519 that's interesting. And then we called our teachers by their first names. Did 451 00:33:28,559 --> 00:33:31,680 your did your kids do that? No? No, it's a little more 452 00:33:31,680 --> 00:33:36,759 traditional. But because it's not, it's not supposed to. Our school is 453 00:33:36,759 --> 00:33:39,160 not supposed to be an alternative school. It's a it's supposed to be a 454 00:33:39,200 --> 00:33:44,279 school for that the chart, you know how charters are built on something. 455 00:33:44,880 --> 00:33:50,359 Our kids school is built on getting kids into college. Literally like a college 456 00:33:50,400 --> 00:33:55,079 prep school. They're all about they have their own college counseling system and they 457 00:33:55,119 --> 00:34:00,960 do they do tons of workshops and they like they're training these kids up to 458 00:34:00,480 --> 00:34:04,960 get them into a good college, nice or a college that's right for them. 459 00:34:05,279 --> 00:34:09,320 Right. But when I was a kid, my elementary school was like 460 00:34:09,440 --> 00:34:14,320 your high school. Like my high school called everybody. We called it open 461 00:34:14,400 --> 00:34:20,079 structure. So They didn't separate you into grades, separated by grades. It 462 00:34:20,119 --> 00:34:22,199 was just a big pool of kids. You you know, you'd be in 463 00:34:22,239 --> 00:34:28,519 this math level, you'd be in this reading group, you'd be in this 464 00:34:28,599 --> 00:34:31,320 social studies class, and we are. We called our teachers by their first 465 00:34:31,400 --> 00:34:37,960 names. It was Becky, Charlotte and Shelley as our English teacher. And 466 00:34:38,000 --> 00:34:44,559 we all learned about like all the different we had Ethnic studies, We learned 467 00:34:44,559 --> 00:34:50,199 about Kwanza, we learned yeah, yeah, lots of stuff about slavery. 468 00:34:51,239 --> 00:34:54,519 Yeah, the Republicans would hate it. It was like a baby version of 469 00:34:54,519 --> 00:35:00,199 critical race theory we learned about, you know. And that's how my school 470 00:35:00,320 --> 00:35:07,320 was super integrated because our school was the alternative to bussing. Yes, so 471 00:35:07,440 --> 00:35:10,159 when they were bussing back in the seventies, a bunch of the parents were 472 00:35:10,199 --> 00:35:13,840 like, we don't, we don't need to do that. We have an 473 00:35:13,920 --> 00:35:17,440 all black school, which I went to. You know how Howard Stern talks 474 00:35:17,480 --> 00:35:22,159 about having gone to an all black school. I went to one. There 475 00:35:22,159 --> 00:35:25,039 were like two white kids in the whole school. I was one of them. 476 00:35:25,280 --> 00:35:29,639 There was me, and there was one Asian girl, and I believe 477 00:35:29,679 --> 00:35:35,239 there was one other white student and you learn how to dance, yes, 478 00:35:36,599 --> 00:35:43,320 right, yes, yeah, just love to try to dance. I know 479 00:35:43,639 --> 00:35:45,760 they'd be like, I remember this one day, they were like, do 480 00:35:45,840 --> 00:35:50,039 the running Man, Now do this, now do the do the sprinkler, 481 00:35:50,079 --> 00:35:52,400 and then they go do the white girl dance. And then they go, 482 00:35:52,559 --> 00:35:54,679 oh that's just yell every day thing. You don't need to do the white 483 00:35:54,719 --> 00:35:59,119 girl dance. You know the white girl dance? Yes, yes, yes, 484 00:35:59,159 --> 00:36:01,920 but yeah. We would have dances on Fridays just for fun, like 485 00:36:02,119 --> 00:36:07,679 just I loved it you did. Yeah, oh my god, like that's 486 00:36:07,719 --> 00:36:12,480 where all those that's those muse those songs that uh that we would play that 487 00:36:12,480 --> 00:36:15,079 that we were talking about on our show a couple Yeah, you know, 488 00:36:15,280 --> 00:36:20,880 like yeah, Egypt, Egypt, you know, like all that stuff all 489 00:36:21,000 --> 00:36:25,679 like after school Friday's dance party. It's like somebody would DJ and everybody, 490 00:36:25,840 --> 00:36:30,760 the teachers would hang out. Yeah. So our school didn't have bells and 491 00:36:30,960 --> 00:36:34,400 none of that. Right, we did what a lot of field trips to 492 00:36:34,440 --> 00:36:40,039 Alvera Street and same downtown and went there. Yeh yeh, I love that. 493 00:36:40,320 --> 00:36:44,800 I know. I loved it too. I remember because I I remember 494 00:36:44,840 --> 00:36:47,639 getting a churo at al Vera Street they would get it. So our school 495 00:36:47,719 --> 00:36:52,639 was super small. It was the same as your It was on the campus 496 00:36:52,639 --> 00:36:55,199 of another school, and your school was on the campus of Birmingham. Our 497 00:36:55,239 --> 00:37:00,960 school is one of it was next next door. Yeah, but and it's 498 00:37:00,000 --> 00:37:05,519 grades kindergarten through twelfth. Oh. Your school was Magne. Yeah, our 499 00:37:05,639 --> 00:37:08,079 Valley alterna school. Oh, I think it still is. Okay, Well, 500 00:37:08,119 --> 00:37:13,719 our school was just an elementary school. But when I was at the 501 00:37:13,760 --> 00:37:19,159 all black school, which was called Crescent Heights Elementary School. So where I 502 00:37:19,360 --> 00:37:22,800 lived, if you traveled like a few blocks south of me, it was 503 00:37:22,039 --> 00:37:27,679 all black neighborhood. If you traveled a few blocks north of me, it 504 00:37:27,760 --> 00:37:31,280 was all white, like Jewish carried Jewish neighborhood over in West la By like 505 00:37:31,360 --> 00:37:36,800 Pico and Robertson. Yeah, but then south of Los Sienaga was all black. 506 00:37:37,360 --> 00:37:40,440 So when I was really little, like kindergarten and first and half of 507 00:37:40,480 --> 00:37:45,039 second grade, I was at the all black school. I got beat up. 508 00:37:45,599 --> 00:37:50,519 I got it was. It was not a good situation because being and 509 00:37:50,679 --> 00:37:54,760 you know, my heart goes out to anybody who's African American who's in white 510 00:37:54,800 --> 00:38:00,639 spaces all by themselves all the time, like you know, I I know 511 00:38:00,679 --> 00:38:04,119 what that's like in reverse, and it's not fun. You know, it's 512 00:38:04,119 --> 00:38:07,320 not fun. And especially in those days, there was a lot of like 513 00:38:07,519 --> 00:38:12,639 racial unrest. There was a lot of you know, kids that were angry, 514 00:38:12,880 --> 00:38:17,400 and I got a lot of like I got called honky every day. 515 00:38:17,639 --> 00:38:21,639 They called me a honky, and they wouldn't let me get a drink of 516 00:38:21,679 --> 00:38:24,800 water. Sometimes they wouldn't let me in the bathroom. You know. So 517 00:38:25,480 --> 00:38:30,719 this school, this other school. This was around the time that integration, 518 00:38:30,920 --> 00:38:35,840 forced integration was happening. So, like I said, there was this all 519 00:38:35,920 --> 00:38:39,800 like white school and all these you know, do gooder parents, very liberal 520 00:38:39,880 --> 00:38:46,360 parents in California, were like, let's take kids from Crescent Heights and kids 521 00:38:46,400 --> 00:38:51,920 from this Canfield school and put them together and we'll have our own school. 522 00:38:52,199 --> 00:38:55,599 So it was on the campus. They did it for different years on different 523 00:38:55,599 --> 00:39:00,119 campuses, so that ours was on the campus of Canfield the little bungalows, 524 00:39:00,480 --> 00:39:05,679 so they're just a couple of bungalows for all the kids. But it was 525 00:39:05,840 --> 00:39:08,000 great. I mean, I loved that. And what was that for? 526 00:39:08,239 --> 00:39:14,039 That was like pretty even was that junior high that you know that was elementary 527 00:39:14,039 --> 00:39:17,480 school? So that ended up being third, fourth, fifth, and sixth 528 00:39:17,519 --> 00:39:22,320 grade, Okay. And then I moved to Spokane, Washington, Okay, 529 00:39:22,519 --> 00:39:25,760 and went to junior high there, and then I did half of high school 530 00:39:25,960 --> 00:39:30,480 there and then the other half of high school in Springfield, Massachusetts, and 531 00:39:30,519 --> 00:39:37,360 then I moved back to California. Wow, Massachusetts for basketball Hall of Fame. 532 00:39:37,440 --> 00:39:43,320 Yeah Springfield Yeah Wow, Okay, Range, I know we need to 533 00:39:43,320 --> 00:39:47,599 take another break and tell you guys about Honeylove. I love Honeylove. Oh 534 00:39:47,639 --> 00:39:52,639 my gosh. I have been seeing posts on our Facebook from people that are 535 00:39:52,679 --> 00:39:59,000 like, I need a bra that's I don't. I love a smooth, 536 00:39:59,639 --> 00:40:06,159 ye underwire, comfortable, bromfortable bra, supportive. 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I have this and it is I it's very comfortable and you 546 00:40:49,159 --> 00:40:52,039 don't have to take the whole thing off to pee. Oh that's nice. 547 00:40:52,159 --> 00:40:54,119 Yeah, it's a nice So tell us where to get it. So treat 548 00:40:54,159 --> 00:40:58,760 yourself to the best Bras in shape wear on the market and save twenty percent 549 00:40:58,880 --> 00:41:04,320 off and Honeylove dot com slash fcl well use our exclusive link to get twenty 550 00:41:04,320 --> 00:41:08,519 percent off. That's Honeylove dot com slash fcil Well. After your purchased, 551 00:41:08,519 --> 00:41:13,320 they'll ask you where you heard about them, and please tell them. Please 552 00:41:13,320 --> 00:41:16,199 support our show and tell them that we sent you shape your life with Honeylove 553 00:41:17,079 --> 00:41:22,360 Boom love it. You know. Speaking of shape, I have to tell 554 00:41:22,400 --> 00:41:28,760 you that this is always I've said this before many times. We're bored. 555 00:41:29,039 --> 00:41:32,599 But I stopped eating sugar. I go to the gym. But like I 556 00:41:32,679 --> 00:41:38,480 really set my expectations of myself low. I'm telling you this is the key 557 00:41:38,639 --> 00:41:42,159 to getting in shape. Yes it is. I have lost some weight. 558 00:41:42,519 --> 00:41:45,400 I don't know if you can tell I have lost some weight I fit into 559 00:41:45,440 --> 00:41:50,519 small my getting getting smaller clothes. But I really eat pretty much what I 560 00:41:50,519 --> 00:41:52,719 want, and sometimes I pig out, like yeah, I went out to 561 00:41:52,760 --> 00:41:54,800 dinner the other night for my friend's birthday, and I ate a ton of 562 00:41:54,840 --> 00:42:00,920 like fried food. I don't, I don't care, but I try. 563 00:42:00,280 --> 00:42:05,840 But no sugar at all, no dessert, no candy, because you know 564 00:42:05,920 --> 00:42:07,360 I will just eat that all day long. Yeah. And then when I 565 00:42:07,400 --> 00:42:10,639 go to the gym, I go. I do thirty minutes of cardio. 566 00:42:13,119 --> 00:42:16,719 I don't try to be a hero like I don't. Even if I could 567 00:42:16,880 --> 00:42:22,079 raise the tension on the Precorp machine, I don't. Yeah, I do 568 00:42:22,159 --> 00:42:27,559 it ever so slowly, like I've gone up one since I started. Just 569 00:42:27,599 --> 00:42:30,679 do thirty minutes, stretch out a little bit, do a couple of machines 570 00:42:30,760 --> 00:42:34,199 for weights, and then I'm like done. None, have a good day. 571 00:42:34,719 --> 00:42:38,079 I don't take classes where I know I'm going to be like you know 572 00:42:38,400 --> 00:42:43,880 I now you know I am. This is my key, my suggestion, 573 00:42:44,079 --> 00:42:47,480 don't work that hard. Yeah, just a little bit, like just get 574 00:42:47,519 --> 00:42:54,800 moving. Yeah. I started working out with so Suzanne's ex husband. I 575 00:42:54,880 --> 00:43:01,599 introduced them right and he was he was working I joined twenty four hour fitness 576 00:43:01,920 --> 00:43:07,840 like eight I don't know how many years ago, like twenty five years ago, 577 00:43:07,599 --> 00:43:13,719 and and he was the like I was. I was sold. I 578 00:43:13,800 --> 00:43:16,559 remember buying the package because they said I would get like a personal trainer for 579 00:43:16,599 --> 00:43:20,719 the first week I was there or whatever. And so when I show up, 580 00:43:20,719 --> 00:43:22,679 I was kind of like Helen Paradise, like where's my where's my personal 581 00:43:22,719 --> 00:43:27,119 trainer? You know? And I was like, I was told. I 582 00:43:27,239 --> 00:43:30,320 was sold on a stupid membership. I only joined because I wanted a personal 583 00:43:30,360 --> 00:43:34,000 trainer. Where is he? And then Carlos walked. I was like, 584 00:43:34,039 --> 00:43:39,039 take it easy, take it easy. He's like, I'll train you. 585 00:43:39,119 --> 00:43:42,280 So he trained me. And then I told Suzanne. I was like, 586 00:43:42,320 --> 00:43:45,599 you gotta check out twenty four hours. They're doing this deal and you'll get 587 00:43:45,639 --> 00:43:49,360 Carlos the trainer. And so then she joined, and then her and Carlos 588 00:43:49,440 --> 00:43:52,360 ended up getting married. They oh my god, yeah, and then they 589 00:43:52,360 --> 00:43:57,119 got married. Then they had Gracie and then they got divorced, and you 590 00:43:57,119 --> 00:44:01,760 know, so he would work out me and Suzanne back then. So now 591 00:44:01,800 --> 00:44:06,360 like I'm talking to Suzanne recently and hot, I'm like one of his best 592 00:44:06,360 --> 00:44:09,360 friends passed away. Unexpectedly. Oh yeah, yeah. It was really sad. 593 00:44:09,679 --> 00:44:14,239 And so I could be asking like, how's how's he doing? How's 594 00:44:14,239 --> 00:44:15,800 Carlos doing? And it wasn't just his best friends, one of his big 595 00:44:15,880 --> 00:44:21,760 clients that he would train, and Suzanne's like, you know, and I 596 00:44:22,400 --> 00:44:23,880 would be at the condo and I kept going like, I gotta, you 597 00:44:23,960 --> 00:44:27,679 know, figure out, I gotta find a gym around here, I gotta 598 00:44:27,719 --> 00:44:31,000 find some classes to take something. And She's like, why didn't I even 599 00:44:31,000 --> 00:44:35,840 think of this before. She's like, Carlos lives like right up the street 600 00:44:35,880 --> 00:44:39,400 from you in an apartment building. In his building is a gym that he 601 00:44:39,480 --> 00:44:43,760 trains his clients out of. She's like, why don't you go work out 602 00:44:43,760 --> 00:44:46,480 with Carlos? And I was like, oh shit, okay, So I 603 00:44:46,519 --> 00:44:52,360 started working out with him, and I started once a week, like listen, 604 00:44:52,440 --> 00:44:55,400 I'm not trying to be a hero. You know, I'm only here 605 00:44:55,440 --> 00:44:58,960 a couple of days a week, so you know, when I'm in the 606 00:44:58,960 --> 00:45:01,400 neighborhood, I just want to to get a good work eat. And my 607 00:45:01,559 --> 00:45:06,719 god, did he work me my Like, like ye, my face was 608 00:45:06,760 --> 00:45:10,800 like bright red, I'm out of breath. But the good thing about Carlos 609 00:45:10,920 --> 00:45:15,880 is. I can be like, dude, relax like I'm tired, like 610 00:45:16,199 --> 00:45:19,320 and he would be like, oh, come on, just give me five 611 00:45:19,320 --> 00:45:21,079 more, five more, come on, you can do it. You can 612 00:45:21,119 --> 00:45:22,639 do it. Five more fun. See I hate that. Yeah, I 613 00:45:22,679 --> 00:45:25,360 don't mind it. I don't mind it. Listen to a lot of people 614 00:45:25,440 --> 00:45:29,760 like that. Yeah, so I hate it. Yeah, I'm just like, 615 00:45:29,880 --> 00:45:31,239 no, I don't want to feel like this. This is not I 616 00:45:31,320 --> 00:45:35,280 want to work out here. Here's why I like to work out. I 617 00:45:35,360 --> 00:45:38,280 like to do the least, but then still have that feeling like I took 618 00:45:38,280 --> 00:45:43,679 a half a Xanax afterwards. It gives you that calm, like calm brain, 619 00:45:44,440 --> 00:45:47,559 and then I feel like, oh okay, I feel like settled and 620 00:45:47,599 --> 00:45:51,960 calm. It's like it's like when people meditate. I don't like meditating. 621 00:45:52,000 --> 00:45:55,719 I like listening to a podcast right and exercising fairly slowly. You are least. 622 00:45:57,000 --> 00:46:00,880 I don't ever get super out of breath. I mean sometimes a little 623 00:46:00,920 --> 00:46:05,039 bit. But yeah. What else telling everybody's you don't have to, No, 624 00:46:05,199 --> 00:46:07,800 you don't have to. But what I'm telling everybody is, don't work 625 00:46:07,840 --> 00:46:12,920 out with Carlos. But yeah, but I'm with you. But But the 626 00:46:12,960 --> 00:46:15,000 thing is is when I started working out with him, I told him I 627 00:46:15,039 --> 00:46:19,679 don't want to be worked out hard. I just want to get in shape. 628 00:46:20,039 --> 00:46:22,119 I don't want to be like and next thing, you know, he 629 00:46:22,199 --> 00:46:23,960 tricks you. He'll just be like, Okay, get on the treadmill for 630 00:46:24,000 --> 00:46:28,480 twenty minutes, and then after that we'll just do a little easy weights here 631 00:46:28,519 --> 00:46:30,760 and there. But like, the stuff that I'm doing is not even with 632 00:46:30,840 --> 00:46:35,639 weights. I'm on the So the one thing that I had nightmares about, 633 00:46:36,000 --> 00:46:39,480 which is I'm he makes you lay on your stomach and it's like Superman, 634 00:46:39,719 --> 00:46:44,039 right, So you put your arms out like you're flying in the air. 635 00:46:44,079 --> 00:46:49,559 You're laying flat on your stomach. But he wants you to raise your figs 636 00:46:50,119 --> 00:46:54,320 and raise your upper body, your upper chain and keep your arms straight. 637 00:46:54,440 --> 00:46:59,960 Hell, that's the hardest fucking thing in the world for me in the world. 638 00:47:00,159 --> 00:47:01,400 Like, look, I'm not joining the military, right, I'm just 639 00:47:01,400 --> 00:47:05,719 trying to like lose a pant size, right, you know, Yes, 640 00:47:05,920 --> 00:47:07,599 we got all go down a little bit. Yeah, But you know, 641 00:47:07,679 --> 00:47:10,079 for me, I don't want to make goals. I don't fitness goals, 642 00:47:10,159 --> 00:47:15,400 I know, but for me, I get like my upper body is like 643 00:47:15,199 --> 00:47:20,440 very weak, and so I'm like hunched over and you know with the big 644 00:47:20,480 --> 00:47:22,480 boobs and everything, and it's like, you know, I'm I'm trying to 645 00:47:22,480 --> 00:47:27,920 have like a better pasture, not so my back isn't hurting all the time. 646 00:47:27,960 --> 00:47:30,440 And he's like, well, you want to get a stronger back, 647 00:47:30,519 --> 00:47:32,199 this is the way to do it. But like after that, I'm out 648 00:47:32,239 --> 00:47:37,039 of breath, I'm exhausted, I'm tired. And then I was like, 649 00:47:37,400 --> 00:47:38,519 I'm going to kick it up. I want to go, like so now 650 00:47:38,559 --> 00:47:42,719 I'm going to start going I think two days a week. Look at you, 651 00:47:43,840 --> 00:47:47,360 Yeah, but we'll see. Well, I feel like I'm forty now, 652 00:47:47,440 --> 00:47:51,760 so I do want to get in better shape. You know, now 653 00:47:51,760 --> 00:47:54,159 that you're forty. Yeah, it's like, you know, that's when things 654 00:47:54,199 --> 00:47:57,760 start sliding a little bit. So I want to like, you know, 655 00:47:58,760 --> 00:48:01,719 cut that off. But listen, you know what I want to talk about 656 00:48:01,760 --> 00:48:06,480 right now. I want to talk about our our fifty dollars a month subscribers. 657 00:48:06,639 --> 00:48:10,320 Yeah, like Adam Lerner Adams Adams got a car dot com. You 658 00:48:10,400 --> 00:48:14,960 know what he does. He's a car broker. Hit him up if you 659 00:48:15,000 --> 00:48:19,639 would like help buying a car. Just just an education on what's out there, 660 00:48:19,679 --> 00:48:22,400 how much, how much cars are, what the leases are right now, 661 00:48:22,440 --> 00:48:24,800 what the what used cars are around Anyway, Adam's got a car. 662 00:48:25,119 --> 00:48:30,159 Also, maren has A has a place called Sugar Skull on the island of 663 00:48:30,239 --> 00:48:32,920 Kawai. It's a shop, it's a gift shop. They also do wedding 664 00:48:32,960 --> 00:48:39,519 cakes. Check them out on Instagram at Sugar Skull eight oh eight or go 665 00:48:39,599 --> 00:48:44,840 visit them in person. Also, Wilman Frida is in pomp Springs and Palm 666 00:48:44,880 --> 00:48:47,880 Desert. They have amazing brunch. You're going this week? Oh yeah, 667 00:48:49,000 --> 00:48:51,159 yeah, yeah, you should go. You should go there. Yeah, 668 00:48:51,199 --> 00:48:53,000 I should go in there. Oh my god, that'd be amazing. If 669 00:48:53,079 --> 00:48:57,000 yeah, if you're gonna be at what stagecoach? Yes, yeah, go 670 00:48:57,159 --> 00:49:02,599 stop in and talk to Wilman Frida. Also the Family Skeptical. That's our 671 00:49:02,599 --> 00:49:06,400 friend. I'm not going to say her name, but she just messaged me 672 00:49:06,840 --> 00:49:09,760 this week. She's so great and she's doing a podcast. They talk about 673 00:49:09,760 --> 00:49:15,840 a lot of stuff, but it's it's kind of a it's a skeptical you're 674 00:49:15,880 --> 00:49:22,079 skeptical about religion, about life, about the common philosophies, parenting. Check 675 00:49:22,119 --> 00:49:27,280 them out. The Family skeptical and uh, Mike Gerstein my pal. He's 676 00:49:27,280 --> 00:49:31,639 got a plumbing business and his slogan is we are number one with number two. 677 00:49:32,960 --> 00:49:37,719 So if you guys are in the Phoenix and are basically in the Phoenix 678 00:49:37,880 --> 00:49:42,599 metro area or Maricopa County, he's a twenty year plumber who can fix anything. 679 00:49:42,679 --> 00:49:45,119 He can do it zoom over the phone. He can help you with 680 00:49:45,159 --> 00:49:50,599 any of your plumbing issues and questions. He can also run a camera down 681 00:49:50,679 --> 00:49:53,960 the pipes and he's been catching problems and he's been doing this for realtors in 682 00:49:54,039 --> 00:49:59,679 the area. You can go to Phoenix Plumbingsolutions dot com and check it out 683 00:49:59,719 --> 00:50:05,000 for all your plumbing needs. That's Phoenix Plumbing Solutions dot com. All right, 684 00:50:05,360 --> 00:50:07,880 all right, thanks everybody. Thank you. Kaylen, you're a parent 685 00:50:07,960 --> 00:50:15,480 now, don't have it up. It's good. Let angels