Hello, everyboday. How are you? I'm back with another ninety die UK
fionce UK in the UK Recap. Yes, the UK franchise is back,
and I am so so exaued. Okay, I'm not going to do the
recap in a British accent because my British accent is in fact, so freaking
terrible. I just can't do it no matter how much I try. Okay,
So can you imagine, like if it was one person like Sophie and
Rob out of the entire cast, and I'm only doing my really awful British
accent action accent for Sophie, that's different. But the entire cast has an
accent, So I'm not gonna be doing a horrible accent for the entirety of
the recap. But I am so excited for the season of UK. UK
is just supreme. All right. Let's begin with Charlotte. She's thirty four
years old and she's a hair I feel like she's going through what I'm going
through right now, where everybody around you is starting to settle down, and
you feel like the odd one out because you're the only one not dating or
with a significant other or not planning to have kids, although Charlotte's different because
she wants those things. She wants to find her husband, and she wants
to have kids, So that's got to be more tough. I'm in the
position where I'm like, I don't want those things, but everybody is doing
it, and I feel like there's something wrong with me, and I feel
left out because everyone is collectively doing something like they're sharing an experience, a
life experience that I'm not, And even though I don't want it, it's
almost like I want it just so that I can do what everyone else is
doing. Does that make sense? Yeah? So anyway, she met Johan
in dr and when she said Johan, did she say Johan or did she
say Johan? Because I feel like when we met him on the show,
he said Johan. All Han my toy boy. So I met my Jihan
when I was on holiday with my mom and my stepdad. My name's Joan.
Want to get her probably, so I'm going to refer to him as
Johan. She met Johan in the Dominican Republic when she was on vacation with
her parents. He was working at a hotel that they were staying at,
and they spent two nights together. How awkward is that to be like,
hey, mom, dad, I'll see you in two days because I'm going
to spend the next two nights with that Hattie mctaddy over there, you know,
the employee at the result that I don't really know but I just met.
So after the vacation ended, she went back home and they talked every
single night for four months, and then she went back to see him again
and they got engaged. I found it so cute that because he's learning English
from an English person, his English is with an English accent, you know,
instead of like Hi, he's not learning Hi, how are you?
He's learning Hi, how are you? You know? Isn't that so funny?
Isn't that so weird? So Charlotte goes to meet her friends at a
restaurant and they're all like, oh my god, I can't believe you're getting
married. And she's like, yeah, here's a picture of him. And
they're all like, whoa how old is he because he looks kind of young.
And she's like, oh, he's twenty one, and they're like he's
twenty one. Oh my god, he's a child. Oh wow, Okay,
good for you, Charlotte. How old is say, ah, he's
twenty one, twenty one, Oh my god, I'm a cougar. Wow.
People wouldn't boun Eilid if I was forty three, and maybe he was
in his thirties, but because he's still in his twenties, it does sound
a lot worse. Uh yeah, because he's twenty one, brain hasn't even
fully matured or developed yet. So her friends are asking her a bunch of
questions and we learn that she doesn't like what he does for work, because
he's part of the entertainment crew of the resort or the hotel, and so
basically his job is to flirt with women and to make everybody feel very comfortable,
because the flirtier he is, the more tips he gets, and he
lives off those tips. So it makes Charlotte feel really insecure and worried that
he's just going to find another girl that he likes better. Now it's finally
time to meet Johann and oh my god, I was shocked that, like
we've only seen his photos right in person, like when he's in live action,
he looks even younger. Where you're from, Florida, Oh into really
Kadans cares by the poor page. He literally looks like a high school kid.
We see him doing his job and he basically interacts with all the guests.
Like I said, he makes sure that they're having a good time,
and it kind of seems like he does a little bit of everything. He's
not in one spot of the hotel. He just kind of goes around everywhere
personally. From what we've seen on this episode, nothing about his job seemed
alarming to me, like I wouldn't be that paranoid. I don't really understand
why Charlotte is so worried. You know, he's not giving women lap dances,
He's not stripping or anything like that. And with the money he makes,
he supports his entire family, like his mom and his siblings, and
recently his mom had surgery and Charlotte helped out with their medication costs and the
mom is very grateful. It's not a mortality, how my family, because
all my life, you know, my family home me and now it's my
time for helping. So he's talking with his buddy and he tells him his
plan. As soon as he gets to England, He's gonna get a job
as a Spanish tutor or a teacher and he wants to charge twenty to thirty
dollars an hour, and that money is going to be super beneficial to his
family. Now, Charlotte's parents aren't too happy that their daughter is marrying Yohan.
They don't like how she sends him money. And then she tells her
mom, the last time I sent him money was when they went through a
hurricane and they needed a new roof. So she sent him money so that
they can have a new roof. And the mom goes, well, I
don't agree with that. Okay, you're not his sugar mommy, but like,
wait a damn second, I don't know if you're marrying this person.
Okay, let's just assume. Okay, let's get into the mind of Charlotte.
Okay, we are Charlotte. We are marrying the love of our life.
Yohan, and your fiance's family just went through a hurricane, a devastating
hurricane that blew off their roof. It's not like they live in luxury.
They don't live in a nice house. They just need a roof over their
heads, like literally, the most basic thing that someone can ask for.
They're not asking for a Tesla or a BMW or like a I don't know,
like this Italian marble for their kitchen, they're asking for a roof.
I mean, they don't have a roof over their heads. So obviously,
if I'm Charlotte, I'm gonna send my fiance if I can afford to,
you know, if I have the money, I'm gonna send them money so
they can get a new roof. So I understand why Charlotte sent them money.
But the mom is, oh my god, she's brutal. But of
course the mom is thinking she's with a scammer, like he's just taking her
money. But then I wonder, like it was a real hurricane, their
roof really got blown off, Like can you really get mad that she helped
a guy's family like replace her roof. I don't know. I don't know.
It's not like it was expensive, right, I'm just making assumptions right
here. I don't know. I just feel like it's reasonable, like you
were helping someone out in the end, and even if he ended up scamming
me for other things, like as long as the roof in the hurricane was
real, then I wouldn't feel too bad about it, Like I helped a
family out, you know, I don't know, maybe I'm being delusional.
I try to google how much a roof would cost in the Dominican Republic,
but I couldn't really figure that out. But you can rent a one bedroom
apartment there for around three hundred dollars a month. So I feel like the
mom is kind of savage because when Charlotte tells her the people in the Dominican
Republic don't have what they have, she basically says, well, it's not
our problem. They have to figure it out themselves. Like my god,
do you not care about how other people live in the world. Like I
know this is a different situation because it involves her daughter and she doesn't want
her daughter to get scammed, But I don't know. I just wouldn't respond
that way. Oh God, I don't even want to get into it.
But last night, well I guess I'm about to get into it. But
last night I learned for the first time what was happening in Congo, and
it's just so freaking devastating. It got me down in a spiral. Last
night. I just didn't understand why the world was so unfair and why,
like literally, it feels like America just steps over everybody and lets everybody die
for our capital game. Anyway, I don't want to get into it because
this is about nine de fiance UK stupid stuff. But I just that's not
the response I would have. I wouldn't be like, well, they would
have to deal with it anyway if it weren't for you, Like I would
just be like, Okay, well that was really nice of you. Her
mom tries to remind Charlotte, you know, he might take your car,
he might take your house, he might take everything that you worked really hard
for. And Charlotte says, well, I have all these things but no
one to share it with. And Johann makes me happy, So I want
to share my things with the man I love and who makes me happy.
And I thought that response was so freaking sweet, so heartfelt, like it
really made me emotional. Hold on my dog's scratching on the door I have
to open for her, Okay, it almost made me emotional. You know,
as delusional as Charlotte may be, like just putting myself in her situation,
she really believes in her love and her future with Johan, and it
was just so sweet that she said, like, I really want to share
the things that I have with him, because he makes me happy, like
I don't know something about that was so sweet. Also, Charlotte really really
wants to have a family, and her bioclock is ticking TikTok, TikTok,
so she wants kids with him as soon as possible. Listen, I understand
the mom is concerned, and I understand she has her daughter's best interest,
but the way she's talking is just pissing me off a little. She's not
the best communicator. If you want to grab your daughter's attention and have her
listen to you, you don't want to be negative and you don't want to
rain on her parade. You have to be strategic. You know. That's
why they say, uh, reverse psychology is a thing, all right.
Now we have Jamie, who's thirty three years old. He's an operations officer
for London's transport system, and at first glance I was like, oh my
god, he seems so sweet and so nice. No, I mean,
he might be sweet, he might be nice, but he's a looser,
loser with a big l okay. He lives with his parents who basically hand
feed him every single meal. Oh my god. He would be a complete
nightmare to date because you would basically like he and his mother are BFFs.
They are besties for the resties. They do everything together, and she does
everything for him everything, Okay. She might as well wipe his ass for
him. And the reason why I say he would be an absolute fucking nightmare
to date is because you would basically be in competition with his mother because she
does everything for him. You would have to do that and more, okay,
because you would have to do the sexy stuff. That's the only way
you would win, okay, to be as good as his mother in terms
of feeding him, cleaning up after him, doing pretty much everything for him,
plus the sex stuff. He doesn't know how to do shit, okay.
If you date him, you would have to teach him everything. If
you don't want to do it yourself, then you would have to teach him.
You would have to train him. Like just stay single, okay,
don't date mama's boys, all right. If it comes down to Jamie or
any other mama's boy or being single, just be single. Holy shit,
you have to be a miserable person by yourself for you to choose to be
with a guy like him than to be by yourself. And trust me,
I do know women who would rather be with a guy like him than to
be alone, and that makes me truly, truly sad for them. When
it comes to Jamie and his mother, their relationship is adorable, okay,
like I said, they're besties for the resties. They hang out all the
time, they laugh all the time, and it's cute. But again a
nightmare to date, because like I said, if you date him, you're
gonna be always competing with his mother, who does everything for him. So
the only way you are going to win over his mother is if you do
everything, literally everything for him, plus the sex stuff. Now, he
can't find any women who will date him in the UK. Gee, I
fucking wonder why. I wonder why. And because no one will date him,
he started looking abroad. He dated a girl from Thailand that didn't work
out because she ended up using him for his money. Then he dated a
girl from Vietnam who also ended up using him for his money. And now
he's dating a girl from the Philippines named Kathleen. I mean, he's just
going all over Southeast Asia. Now. Kathleen is completely different from his ex
girlfriends because she truly loves him for him clip there is some competition between mom
and Kathleen. Yep, there it is. I didn't I just say that,
didn't I just say that? Literally? Clip, she's a bit jealous.
That's weird. I don't understand why mother's not all mothers. Some mother's
like toxic boy moms. There are so many toxic boy moms popping up on
my social media page lately. Why are they like that? And why do
they compete with their son's girlfriends. It's so freaking weird. Clip. When
a girl comes in, she has to take a back seat. Honestly,
if I had no choice but to date him, I would be like,
yeah, yeah, I'll take a back seat. Let your mother come.
She can clean, she can cook, and wipe your ass. I don't
mind. Ultimately, the mom is jealous that the girlfriend is taking time away
from her. He's now busy spending most of his time with the girlfriend instead
of the mom, and she misses the time when she had him all to
herself. Clip, I have two women fighting over me. I like it.
Oh what the fuck? Oh god, oh god, Just stay single,
ladies, just stay single, stay away from him. Mom tells Jamie
to be very careful because if a woman truly loves him. She won't ask
him for things. Okay. One day, his mom was cleaning his room
and found a Western Union receipt on his bed, and she was like,
oh my god, Jamie, are you sending her money? And he was
like, yeah, I just send her like, you know, one hundred
to two hundred dollars a month. No, she's using you. I forbid
you to send her any more money from now on, and so he stopped.
After that incident, he was like, okay, mommy, I will
obey you, mommy. Initially, when his mom told him to stop sending
her money, he told her her family is struggling right now. They don't
have enough money. And the mom was like, well, she can earn
it on her own. It's not your responsibility, which I do agree with.
Like they're not married. This is essentially a girl that he doesn't even
know or he hasn't has he met her in real life? I don't think
so, right, or maybe he has ones I don't remember, but I
get where she's coming from. So one day he meets up with his friend
for coffee. His name is and I don't know what. Richard has shoved
up and stuck up his buttthole, but he is cranky and he doesn't like
Kathleen. He is pretty sure that Kathleen is using him and he doesn't want
his best friend to get used. And at one point before ever since,
everybody was talking so much shit about Kathleen to Jamie, Jamie ended up listening
to everybody and broke up with her. But then he missed her so much
and then got back together with her. So at the coffee shop, he
tells Richard, I got back together with Kathleen. And the look on Richard's
face if looks good kill Jamie would have been dead. When he heard that
they got back together. He was like, oh why, oh, I
just love her so much, Richard, you don't understand. Okay, whatever,
remember what happened with your last two girlfriends. But she's different, Richard.
You'll see when you meet her. Well, I hope I don't damn
me so fit. Jamie tells him that he wants to propose to Kathleen,
and Richard gives him the biggest staying face and says, I will give you
the biggest slup if you ever do that. I mean, isn't that a
little extreme? Like God, why is Richard so mad, like do you
like him? Is this what this is all about? Like? Do you
like him? Do you want him? He's so pissed off and he's just
not entertained at all. Lastie, for this episode, we have John.
He's twenty nine years old and he's a chef. One year he went to
Thailand to teach English and he fell in love with their culture and food,
and then he met the love of his life, Sprate. And first of
all, I mean, I love that name because Spray is my favorite drink
in the entire effing world. I love Spray. I love it so much.
Okay, So John gets very emotional talking about Spray. Sorry, cant
a card? Imagine my life with h very sweet. So they get on
a FaceTime call. Apparently Spray came back from the gym, and John goes,
oh, I went to the gym too. Do you see my big
muscles? And then Sprite says, you have a big stomach too. What
the fuck? What the bitch did I ask you about my stomach? I
asked you about my fucking muscles on my arms. Look, I have big
muscles, big stombay too. Oh Lord, here we go again, Here
we go again. If you didn't know. Fat shaming in Asia is very
very very very very normal. Okay. It is as normal assaying Hi,
how Hi? I can't even speak because I have PTSD. It's as normal
as saying Hi, how are you? It literally is. And it's not
just fat shaming that's normal. It's making any comment about your physical appearance that
is normal. So it's kind of like, Hi, how are you.
Oh my god, you look so tired. Hi, how are you?
Oh my god, you got so fat? Hi? How are you?
Oh my god, who got so old? Hi? How are you?
Oh my god, you look like a bat hit you in the face.
You know. I was supposed to put that bitch in daycare today. Both
my dogs were supposed to go to daycare today, but she did not want
to go. Whenever I say do you want to go to daycare? They
get so excited. So I was like, today they're gonna go, And
I was like, do you guys want to go to daycare? They got
all excited. They came to me, and as soon as I took their
collar out, this bitch over here ran away and she hid under the table
and she did not want to come out. Now I feel like I shouldn't
force her to go to daycare if she really doesn't want to go. So
I ended up leaving her at home. I took the other one there,
and now she's fucking bothering me. She don't Okay, even though I sound
aggressive, I freaking love her to death. So don't think I hate my
I love my dogs more than I love any human being. Okay, so
just calm down. I just anyway. The conversation between Sprt and John is
so freaking awkward. John is just very lovey, dovey and affectionate. He
gives Sprite tons of compliments and words of affirmation, but Sprite gives him nothing,
absolutely nothing. He just smiles kind of. It looks very fake,
and he makes funny faces. He looks like he's uncomfortable. He's rolling in
his eyes a little bit. So now we meet Sprite. He's a twenty
six year old photographer. He's apparently very successful. He shot for magazines and
celebrities, and he's very passionate about his work and he is determined to go
to England to further his career. Hmm. I wonder if he's using John
or not. And I know. So he meets his friend at a cafe
and they talk about John. Apparently they met on Tinder and Sprite saw his
picture and he was like, oh, not my type. He looks homeless.
Oh but he's an English teacher and I do need to improve my English.
Right, so he swope Swope, swiped Bright, and his goal for
connecting with John was so that he could improve his English. Apparently, John
asked Right to be his boyfriend several times before he said yes, because Spray
kept constantly rejecting him over and over until he finally said yes. John is
kind of more into me because I don't know, but I just feel like
he's more into me. But for me, because John could speak English,
I wanted to get to know him well. Okay, Then I guess Spray
only dated him to be more fluent in English. I don't know. Maybe
find another platform to do that and not tender. John meets up with his
sister to catch up and tell him all about Sprite, and he drops a
huge bomb on all of us. He tells his sister that he has a
lot of trust issues with Sprite because one day he was casually going through Sprite's
phone and he found a picture of Sprite with another man in a hotel room.
Are you freaking kidding me? I would lose my mind. I mean,
am I surprised, though, No, because it really doesn't seem like
Sprite likes him at all. But yeah, if I were John in that
moment, like we would have been done. Why there's no reason for you
to be in a hotel room with another man. Well, it's finally the
day of Sprite's arrival in the UK, so John goes to pick him up
at the airport. He has a large bouquet of flowers. He's so excited,
and the episode ends. So that is a recap for Ninety Day Fiance
UK season three, episode one. I am already loving it so freaking much.
This is way better than Love and Paradise. I mean, I love
Love and Paradise, but come on, it's better than Love and Paradise.
It is way better than Happily ever After. Like Happily ever After is getting
tough to recap, Like I just posted the recap of Jasmine and Gino,
and that's because I couldn't get through the rest of my RecA. I have
it recorded, I just couldn't get myself to edit it. Like I really,
I just didn't care. I was like, oh, this is such
a freaking jour. I might just post the recap. There's like no screenshots,
there's no video clips. I might just post it and if you want
to listen to it, you can, But if you don't want to,
you don't have to. But I just can't get myself to edit that thing.
Like I don't care. I don't care about Emily and Kobe meeting his
ex girlfriend. I don't care about Robin Sophie having the same fight for the
fifty seventh time. I don't care about who else is on the show.
I don't even know Angelain Michael. I don't freaking care. Okay, we
know Michael came and he escaped her, so that's all I care about.
Don't want to see Angela anymore? Do I really care to see Liz get
her shit out of Big Ed's house? Not really. We already know she
moved on. She found another man and she's allegedly married to him. Who
else is on? Lauren and Alexi don't care, Patrick and Ty's I don't
care, Like, I literally don't care. Well, that's it for the
recap. Let me know your thoughts in the comments or don't. It's okay.
I love you guys, thank you so much for your support as always,
and I'll see you in the next one. Bye.