Comedy Central Podcast Fras. Thank you very much. Thanks a lot for days.
My name is Daniel of the House. I' m your comic on
duty today to relieve you a little bit of this crisis that we' re
going through, that so many things are changing us, because it' s
changing a lot. For example, we all understand economics right now you remember
before the crisis that you took the newspaper, came to economics and said ah
all var so I take out sports. Not now is the first thing he
does is take the paper and you' re there in economics. Or it
' s economics, it' s not the playboy, uh, you'
re there already when you get so overwhelmed, you say well, I'
m going to check them out to get some rest, oh, you say
well, I' m not I don' t know anyone. These are
the only two good ones. The news from the paper. Now people understand.
The people I know, they talk about the risk premium. Truth seeks
the first risk, It deprives you to risk, The prima risk before was
the skank of the family. She' s my cousin She' s really
hot. He risked me. That was the first risk. Anyway, a
lot of things have changed. Go ask for money, a bank, for
example. You remember before the crisis. You remember what a pimp we were
doing They' re monologues, but you can talk, you remember we were
going in to ask with pimps. I know how Robert de Niro, you
know, we go there at the branch office where director c is for Peli
Boli, I punch champion, I want a hypont and three percent knows and
I want to guide him well. And that director didn' t snoop because
you went with Robert de Liro' s pimp shop He wasn' t looking.
In fact, I would answer you as José Luis López Vázquez, be
your rapporteur and start with it. It' s an honor for this old
lady you remember now she' s giving nothing. Hey the other day I
went into a bank I asked for the time they charged me three euros of
commission. It' s really worth the real estate market. Now I made
you a friend. Hey, man, I' m giving you my house
and you' re saying take off, I don' t want to.
Líos, yes, let me get on with it. A lot of things
had changed. I know the crisis is that it is also heavy, because
it is very heavy, that is, in all programs they talk about the
crisis. The other day is there that Jimenez fourth millennium. I don'
t know if you dress him friends of mystery in Castilla La Mancha made a
paranormal phenomenon. The City of Argamasilla de Alba has been paid an invoice in
time. Now let' s hear the clear- up psychophony. Paco pays,
I' m kidding to see a lot has changed. One of September
you remember before the crisis, which was the worst day of the year.
You stood up and walked like a dove. Oh son again to work now
more like the white snow dwarf something that no longer. No, I haven
' t changed. He' s changed. Family relationships are better now then
the mothers called him the children. Yeah, son, I don' t
see you when you come to eat that again here, if you came yesterday,
it changes a lot. We all want the crisis to end. That
' s right. We all want it to end. There' s only
one living thing you can' t even hear talking about. He wants the
crisis to end. Don' t tell her, don' t just tell
her. I' m going to say who the lobsters in the restaurants are
now living a second youth. Now they' re even cool, even cool
that people come to the restaurant, already waving to the rock with the antennas.
There, wow they' re untied. Now you know, maybe a
lot of things have changed, a lot of things. I know the worst
thing about change is maybe our economy is now controlled by markets. That'
s where the markets leave it and those markets are controlled by rating agencies that
are pirates, that is, if their names are called Sampus standard Muodis,
Jackan Sparrows. You know, he doesn' t lie that they didn'
t even know the crisis that started right under his nose because they had it
there, in the United States, that I know where the bank managers are
there They all went crazy. That' s how the crisis started. Like
a pocholo in ibiza. If all the directors are there, they leave like
a book, one that we party to release, that you saw, that
you saw, that party, neither food nor drink. Come credits for everyone,
credits, screams, credits, credits. There were no people who said,
but if I don' t work matches, come the firm s and
that' s how it started. So these people are now leading the world
economy is crazy. It' s like putting Pedro Almodóvar to lead a Walt
Disney movie. Don' t laugh, but imagine it well, you'
re not going to be a love movie, Loves Levy co between white,
snow and cinderella. What were they saying next to gunner jumping backwards like their
prince. They' re riding with Peter Pan' s mother. I mean,
it' s not going. I mean, in short, a lot
of things have changed. A lot of things have changed. It is true
that we have been responsible. He hopes we' ve done bad things.
This cannot be denied. It' s true. We spent what we had,
what we didn' t have, what we were going to have.
That it is true, moreover, that the town halls of course now many
have no money. It is logical that they have celebrated for years in the
plenary sessions of the town hall as if they were Christmas draws. They'
d make two chocolates and Sheriff Car' s here. He had to say
with valation one hundred fifty thousand luros own port for the people, another ten
twelve and forty thousand euros commissions to pay these services two already, two million
luros. It' s here to give you an idea. He' s
been able to hook up with a handball player. Well, okay human,
the ball left it Hello, bad, bad, but we have to get
up. I' m serious. We have to get up there and I
' m telling you up there. That we have to regain confidence again.
We' re losing her now. You have to get her back, walk
again with confidence like I do who know how Nacho Vidal on a nudist beach.
How he does that to you. You' ll say how it'
s done. First of all, good advice, don' t watch the
news, don' t see why you do it. Whatever you do will
affect you. It doesn' t matter if you get up in the morning.
Happy that you shower with Red Bull, that you appeal to booty anyway
you get the news and the minute you get the same face that Antonio beat
him the one of formula one. When Alonso goes wrong, don' t
laugh, you see that they are two different faces that before starting, the
guy is excited. Very good afternoon Welcome to Monfa' s cicuato. I
' m not lining my eyes to get a great result, but start the
race and as Alonso goes wrong, the minute you see him come on,
Fernando, don' t get discouraged that you can still stay a hundred mon
third. They' re very bad, they' re depressing and this news.
The other day the Dalai Lama did it. You know him by giving
the lady, Manolo Lama' s brother you know that the quietest guy who
fell in the world, the other one was already in Tibet was there doing
you know zapping. He gave the Spanish news. Look, he started wearing
it or they had to sedate him. People are around Dalai Dalai da Dale
there in the face you see and react. It' s true that he
saw Pedro Piqueras' s te dayario, which is a fighter, because it
' s a little stronger than the average. You' ve seen Pedro Piqueras
' s TV, the one who runs Tarantino knows I say it in telecinco
at dinner time that you can already be having dinner a silly thing that makes
you bitter the male guy or it puts a face of terrors Look so that
I haven' t seen it has been worth just starting turns your head,
so you fucking say. We start well, Machas, that is you go
to the hospital doctor that my father and makes you so say no more you
know. I' m going to say good- bye, so turn your
head and start the news. They' re mana, they' re very
bad, they' re trophic, they' re lousy, they' re
bad, they' re bad, they' re bad, they' re
bad. If we get to tomorrow, I' m Maya, and this
ends today I' m going to give you some advice. Put on the
news of Matthias Prat, because Matthias Prat, as all the news is the
same, do not find out they are good or bad. Don' t
find out, don' t find out, don' t look so I
haven' t seen it I' m doing the same thing there. It
tells you the Morocco fil to Internet tando on its coasts or a compared Spanish
patera, that you have seen it, but and you say well, maybe
that is bad, but that you don' t really know differences, if
it is good bad, because they are always very similar. No, that
' s the same thing I say I know what' s going on.
Yeah, no, yeah, the same goes for a million went Dutzen dum
or eighty million of a plane crash in Dusseldon with eighty axes on board.
You don' t say it exactly, then you calm down. And if
it' s not what we have to do, it' s watch the
Mexican news. That is also a good Council. Look at only Mexican women,
because there you see what happens, things happen even worse than here and
in our country. But the news don' t make you bitter like here.
What' s more, you' re encouraged by a healthy guy in
there with a mustache and a good afternoon. Welcome to the news of the
two of us, uh the following, we' re going on a rail
accident, but first we' d like to say hello to the Revigia to
be the day of their Saint. Congrats is congratulations quote. He' s
in trouble. Nothing' s so hard. It' s so hard to
put Mexican speakers on every radio station in this country. It' s so
hard. It' s hard. It' s not the same thing to
get up at eight in the morning in agony. There we are on the
verge of the rescue that a guy tells him we' re going with that
little rescue. It' s another story. Then, it is also important,
It is very important to give value to the good news that there is.
There' s good news. Dad what, children, you can'
t get out of there I know the trucker that je faith tells me güey
what you' re telling me. I' m not happy about that thing
that came down from the father sh Hew. Perceptually, I' m not
glad you dropped the stick. So, uncle, give him courage to come
out and give that data to me who is a queen pepe, dear friends,
postpresected for the world' s only plumber who doesn' t need to
lose a piece Germany to fix anything, breathe a pater and the pipes get
scared with you. The first one to get out of the stick is this
hick fish truffles this deals or not miss a woman. President, I missed
you, too. What do you want me to say, because women are
smarter. This crisis is very great. Look how the Germans have done it.
The almanes have put amerque bueno contemos Merkel, as aunt is worth nothing
is woman, it has a good pass, it has its character or it
is beautiful, beautiful is not such. I' m not gonna say it.
I' m not like bread, but I don' t know if
those people are like bread, no, but like breadbimbo. Yeah,'
cause he' s square and he' s got an ass he doesn'
t want. No one knows, since there I did, uh, I
missed. She' s missing a woman, because you' re smarter,
you have more vision of things. A woman is that she has stereo vision.
Yeah, it' s dual. A woman may be watching TV You
know with one eye in the living room and another in the kitchen. You
' re gonna throw the oil at me how you could see where the eye
' s done. Chamfering. We men realize that. No, we don
' t get it, we don' t get look no matter what a
man. Take, take the whole afternoon I spent with a friend of these
good guys to childhood all afternoon, because when I get home and the woman
asks him what Carlos and his children who didn' t know or have children
you know, that is, you leave me why not the change that was
the same thing there was. But I' m a pesita woman because you
get more tips from things and I' m still the same Hey, hey,
you' re, you' re really weird, but you' re
not going to crack and a little bit of a slip. Uh, no,
uh, a few months ago I was asking you, but you'
re gonna raise your taxes. No, no, no, and he wasn
' t even going to ask me. Eh, and at the last moment,
or this man makes you as a surrogacy that there was, that he
' s going to be there every day he gets up in the morning.
It' s going to cut, that what makes us cut we' re
going to talk history like Mariano Manos said and I' m worried because he
said it' s going to be a Spartan government, as we are.
But I' m overwhelmed by that because I recently saw a movie of parting
in the movies. Three hundred I don' t know if you saw six
hundred and I don' t want to finish, so you want not to
say, no, I don' t want, no, I want not.
Besides, Leonidas, the Spartan leader, is fine. He has a
beard like rajoy Vale, but I see more than seven differences that say those
days. You know, I see them I mean, the Spartans don'
t know how to fight us because the leader is a beast. But once
so I haven' t seen the movie, I do. Okay. It
' s three hundred Spartans, three hundred go out of their house and they
' re winning everything on the battlefield and Dad in the quiniela to all two
that me and one morning they meet a million Persians. There or they feel
like it and fair to all the Spartans and said let' s go home
that we' ve done enough. Jump the lion and east and say esporton
look. It creates a silence on the battlefield, a silence even the Persians
saying shut the fuck up that they speak I read and uncle tell them do
not forget this day, because today is the teria. You burn love and
you die, you die the three hundred minus one that went to tell it,
the three hundred and thank you, call me weird. If you want
to call me weird, I can' t imagine rajoy in that same field
of robe saying ispartans. Please listen to me Let' s go. Don
' t forget this one, tell us to split up an Eispartan, what
a bullet behind cha chame, but she' s a woman president of course
who kicked him out because you' re more aware of things. Look Zapatero
also what took you in the crisis, which took a little while, uh,
I don' t know all his time, uh, and don'
t laugh, because men are very clueless. We could have gotten past anyone
looking at us no matter what pistol we are Dai. Any man has been
with the same woman for fifty years. I' m talking about 50 years.
Uh, so when I go to buy it the 50th anniversary gift,
you may know that it' s in the store, that it looks like
you' re buying the invisible friend' s. Yeah, yeah, and
the manna in there suffering there fucking that it' s already gonna use it
will like to read, it' s gonna be pending, it' s
gotta be said she' ll still be married. If it takes a while
to see her, we' ll be able to see things. It'
s true. Zapatero took a long time to see if it was the lost
in front of all the gevente, in front of all the gemente, told
them that we have the most solid financial system of the whole planet, because
it recedes there, not that it is in all the geta there looking at
Zapatero as the confused translator. That' s one that takes time to see
the crisis. I don' t say not to kill her, to see
her fernan that took long. I sometimes said you need to see what you
need. I want you to come out one day Carlos Arguñano on TV there
with his recipes. Oh, what' s up, Fable Javi, let
' s eat jajadato balato. J I' m going to the seal to
steal at the supermarket. What I love you or That' s the cold
of seeing the crisis, that' s true, but I' d like
to make a little defense. We have criticized him for everything. We have
criticized him even for being optimistic. And I' m one thing. A
President has to be optimistic. It has to be in Japan. A year
and a little while ago, when the tsunami came up. Well, a
month after their president was camped, you' d read it because the guy
in pressure truma shut himself down in his office. This, Zapatero, wouldn
' t have happened. Zapatero is optimistic that you will follow the President of
Japan. I' ll see him after five minutes of tsunami. I can
imagine it there the wheel the company for everyone. I imagine it there calming
down something like doing something like quiet, quiet? It' s just been
a horita, because I only do the end by bragging, summarizing, Veniros
up, Veniros up, because we are an amazing country, We are the
country with the most march in the world. The eyes are quite notice us
here notice that we are here, now there are more people having fun here
than in all the Nordic countries together s no one. And that' s
a six- month night, that happens to us and we make a half
- year bottle. Shaa and I know. I' m serious. I
don' t know if they' re going to rescue us or not or
if they' ve already rescued us. Man, I don' t know.
But if I say one thing, come up, because the countries you
have rescued are no longer like us. It has nothing to do with the
countries that have rescued you already saw coming that you had to rescue them.
That' s where I leave it. No, it' s not true
to fuck Greece. Greece has been carrying the ruins for a century. Grea
has all the accounts wrong. The last one knew that it was done well
in Greece was done by Pythagoras two thousand and five hundred years ago. Islanas
del Norte, or what to clear has a liquidity problem, one problem is
serious and is that someone you have to explain that more of the whiskey,
there is a liquid that is called water Ya Jun I think they are in
the Portuguese that does not scare us anymore. Of course they are our brothers
are next door, but I didn' t see Portugal coming I saw it
coming. It' s a very nice country, yes, but it'
s kind of worn out. I' ve gone with the car you have
the car passes Portugal and you say what happened. I want to be Michael
J. Fox. I want to go back to the future. It'
s already true the Fijans series as it is that the series, the series
tell me how it happened. They record it in Portugal they save dressing room,
decorate everything and know it will do you and say something you val you
have to save. Then I was able to see the crisis. He hasn
' t seen the crisis because they' re a little cool in Portuguese.
It' s a little bit removing Mourinho, Cristiano, Ronaldo, the others
are very cool. I don' t know why I presume laughing towels,
towels you say are allergic to water. Not that I don' t know,
that they' ve distributed in the humidity. You know, and then
they' re a little sad, a little sad, look at Ronaldo with
ten billion euros, and the girlfriend he' s got is sad. Imagine
the medium Portuguese you know is sad. That a character that is a Portuguese
sings to you a sevillana and looks like a re Who you will see a
moro so to the second so much was nal uca. Tell me more at
last come up because we are the envy of many countries. They fixed the
French. The French who are envying us are messing with these sportsmen. There
was the accountant, Alberto accountant, a tour of France, because they'
ve detected her. To gold to order the top that go from tab to
zero, zero, uh, comma zero, zero, zero, zero,
five of clembuterol. What do you say he shoves it into a Frenchman?
You know they' re coming to the tour, you' re going to
go with the recipe. Face to see now, but how can they mess
with Rafa Nadal who has won seven times in France fan out seven times and
every time he wins to control him. They call Greenson from the CS,
but you' re going to hallucinate that Grisson comes in and doesn' t
control it. He does what he knows how to do green They are a
semi- mortem, which is my author, either because he ends up putting
on a glove and makes him a straight touch the NADAL that because they are
swimming Then all year long we know what he says by studying it to everyone.
And how the French can talk about doping. How can they talk about
doping? They invented it by two Frenchmen, Asteris and Obelis Fucks. Then
and we get read, so you come up, because we' re like
our sportsmen. It' s not the stuff, it' s worth it
to be supermen, but I don' t know what' s happening here
in this country. I don' t know if the sun, the reeds
with friends, the tapas, the skewers, I don' t know what
it is. But we all have these people in our athletes. We are
all like this, coming up and if one day I was a little bit
down, tells you uff this crisis quickly to show you what I' m
saying, put the Spanish TV show on you all over the world. You
can see that a loser here goes outside and it' s God that I
haven' t seen that show for. I' m doing it to you
It' s good health. I' m there Hi, I' m
Manuel Morón. He' s been waiting for us. Well, I was
working on the pandemic. You let me get kicked out because I don'
t know, but well, I got kicked out. He' s looking
at you here at Mason. Now I' m CEO of the company.
There' s Rubia, Norway. She' s my wife. What'
s the matter, you don' t know Spanish? Don' t you
know Spanish? I' ll introduce you to my house. I was on
the outskirts to expand and face the Oslo Center Coming up, because we are
a country that we have the formula of having fun. We got her.
We work hard, that' s that myth that doesn' t work.
We work, but we can have fun. Just on the bridge of the
Constitution we have more parties than a Japanese in his entire life Japan and Mexico
goes with a camera of photos because I didn' t remember him throwing eyes.
That' s how you check the photos. Agame made up the manganis
that we know how to have fun, because we know only one bad thing,
that nothing happens either. There' s a job that we can never
do just one either, and it' s the guy who gives the data
to Fernando Alonso for radia us that precision, that seriousness. I don'
t know if you know who I' m talking about. I' m
about to start with shui heat fun becha el horfo. I won' t
be able to make it a Spanishman, but a Spanishman won' t be
able to contain himself with a wire at the moment. It will no longer
be possible to be there, Fernando, Fernando ojo opco Potatoes. Thank you.
I saw a thought of the House. Make a cataract come out pose,
you' ll see up pas hajajaaaaaa. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha? Thank you very much,
thank you. Now I haven' t.