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Questions, questions, questions. Hey, it's Emily, welcome back. Hey,

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Hi, Hello, Yes you can
trust me with your career advice.

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Welcome back to another episode of the
Straight Shooter Recruiter podcast. Yes it's me.

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I'm your host, I'm your producer. This show is my baby.

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I am so happy that you are
here. It has been a hot minute

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since we've had a purely questions episode. And I went to go check on

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the Google form that I put in
the description of every single episode where I

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collect your questions and audibly gasped because
there's so many. I only did I

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think two weeks where I didn't answer
questions because I just had longer podcast episodes,

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and like it shows because there's so
many. So we are going to

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have a whole dedicated episode just like
old days, the old days being in

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question three weeks ago, where I
just get through a bunch of your questions.

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Don't forget if you want your submitted, I'm always accepting them in the

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description. And before we hop into
answering these questions, please make sure you

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are leaving a rating and a review
for the show. It takes you what

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like fifteen seconds, and it really
helps grow the show. That's how people

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are able to find it better when
we are rated more highly and in those

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top charts. And thank you to
everyone who's already done that. And additionally,

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if you're listening to the show and
you're enjoying it, please make sure

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you're sharing it on social media and
tagging me. I would love to share

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that because it just brings me joy. What can I say? It brings

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me joy? Okay, I'm ready
to crack into it, are y'all?

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Like, let's get into this.
Oh, also by my merch that would

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be great. Okay, let's go. So the first question is one I

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have so much empathy for because I
was feeling this too when I was the

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same age. It's how should I
politely answer people when they say, you're

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only twenty five, You're so young, Like I can't be successful in my

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current role only because I'm young,
especially in interviews. I was in this

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position for a long time. I
always like share this story when I first

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started my career, my full first
full time job, I actually had it

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when I was eighteen years old,
so I was in a room with people

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who had more experience, which also
meant, for the most part, they

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were a minimum five to ten years
older than me, and I felt really

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insecure because even though I had an
amazing team and they really listened to me,

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sometimes I would still get scared to
voice my opinion or like ask a

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question because I didn't want to be
perceived as this stupid kid. And it

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was just really hurtful and it kind
of makes you doubt yourself too, right,

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Like, those are some of the
things that you start to internalize and

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it feeds into your imposter syndrome.
So the first thing I want to say

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is make sure you are not internalizing
this. People are projecting their insecurities onto

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you most times when they're treating you
poorly. And that's if they're treating you

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poorly. Sometimes these people are saying
things like, oh my god, you're

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only twenty five, you're only eighteen, you're only twenty one, Like it's

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a compliment. A lot of times, what they're trying to say is you're

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really smart, You've gotten really far
in your life, and you're only this

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old. Like when I was your
age, I was doing way less.

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So always assume the best out of
the people that you are connecting with.

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If you're getting the vibe though that
they're saying this in a way that's like

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a bit less kind and they're kind
of, you know, giving it to

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you like a little dig like you're
not qualified. The best thing you can

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do is a as much as you
can avoid making reference to your age,

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avoid telling them what you do on
the weekends, avoid telling them when you

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graduated, leave out any markers that
would indicate that you are young and hip

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and funky fresh right, like,
get out of that whole conversation with them,

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so that it slowly becomes less top
of mind. The only thing I

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can tell you to do is ignore
it, and I know that's going to

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be really unsatisfactory. Advice don't clap
back, don't tell them anything. Don't

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feel like you need to defend yourself
or do any of these things to impress

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them or make them think you're more
qualified. Your work is going to speak

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for itself, the fact that you
are young and smart now, like,

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imagine how much you're going to accomplish
in the next five years. So don't

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let this get to your head.
It was something that really impacted me and

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as as older, like, oh
god, that was a weird sentence.

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As I've gotten older, because I'm
twenty eight it's only a couple of years.

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Well, I shouldn't say I am
twenty eight. I'm twenty eight in

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a couple of weeks. But Tomato's
motto pepill slowly stop saying that once you

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get closer to your late twenties,
they kind of just accept your work for

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what it is. But I've learned
now that most people are saying that like

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it's a compliment or they're jealous of
your age. So just keep to yourself

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and keep on keeping on. Dear
Emily, what advice would you give to

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someone who genuinely freezes during interviews and
struggles to articulate their skills, which causes

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them to fail miserably during every interview. Basically, I get really nervous during

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the interview, and I'm always getting
interviewed by three people, which causes more

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anxiety. What's the best way I
can excel during these interviews? Any advice

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would be helpful. Thank you,
Thank you so much for writing in.

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It is really normal to get nervous
during interviews. It's extremely common. In

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fact, it is way more likely
that someone is going to have performance anxiety

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with the more people in the room, So it's super normal for you to

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feel extra anxious when there's three people
on a panel or if it's a group

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interview. All of that is super
super common. So first thing I want

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you to do except that you being
nervous and you being scared is a sign

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that you care. And stop treating
this anxiety you have like it's holding you

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back, and start talking about it
like it's an indicator of how much you

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care. So instead of telling yourself, oh my god, I'm always freezing,

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I'm such an idiot. I wish
I didn't get this nervous, reframe

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it and actually start saying out loud
to yourself. I get nervous because I

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care so deeply, and when I
find the right job, I'm going to

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care so much that it's going to
set me apart from everybody else. When

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you start to speak love back into
yourself. As cheesy as it sounds,

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you are legitimately rewiring your brain and
forcing your brain to see the good in

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you. The more we harp on
like that anxious cycle, the more we're

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investing in this spinning wheel where we
say I'm not good at interviews. I

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freeze in interviews. Therefore you freezen
interviews and you don't perform well, but

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when we start to break that cycle
how we communicate to ourselves, it legitimately

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does make a difference. So try
over the next couple of weeks to speak

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to yourself differently. A more practical
kind of tip or like set of advice

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that I would give you. The
only way you're going to get better is

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if you really pressure and practice.
The best way you can relieve pressure is

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think about something called the improv theory. I have a full podcast episode on

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this that goes deeper, but improv
is basically a style of theater where people,

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our actors are making stuff up on
the spot. And there's a number

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one rule in improv theater and in
acting where you're not allowed to say no.

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So I could tell you the sky's
falling, you can't say no,

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But what you can say is yes, the sky's falling and I'm wearing purple

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shoes. You have to say yes. And and the reason this is a

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rule in theater is if you say
no, you kill the scene. What's

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scary about improv is that people don't
actually have time to think about what they're

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going to say, and if they
spend too much time thinking about what they're

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going to say, the scene sucks, it gets awkward, it loses its

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magic. The scene is also dead. So improv actors have become especially skilled

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at just talking like they just they
fucking talk. They just say what's on

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their mind. In fact, I
would argue they speak first, think second.

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So getting into that mindset of it's
okay for me not to say the

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perfect thing as long as I say
something is going to free you because you

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are probably getting so hyped up thinking
about if you're saying the right thing that

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your delivery ends up making the right
thing the worst thing to say. It

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ends up sounding choppy and anxious and
you're freezing and you're taking pauses. So

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adopt that mindset, and if you
can, like start doing improv, like

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take an improv class on the weekends, it will literally change the way you

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communicate for the rest of your life. I would also highly recommend going to

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websites, even my own, like
head over to my Instagram, look at

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a few of the commonly asked interview
questions that I have, and write them

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down and practice answering them, and
record yourself answering them on your phone,

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and then go back and watch and
listen to how you answer and like,

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look at your body language, listen
to the language that you're using. It'll

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help you go back and understand specifically
what you need to do. But to

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be honest, if you're someone who's
freezing during interviews, this is coming from

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a place of It's like, the
issue isn't that you are underprepared or that

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you don't know what to say.
It's the fact that you get so anxious

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that you're free that you can't even
say the great stuff that you have.

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So your biggest investment needs to come
in your ability to ground yourself and your

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ability to be present. So I
really advise you take on that improv mindset

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and start practicing improv. I also
think that practices like meditation will really really

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help you. And I never ever, ever was a meditation person like I

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was. I don't know. I
never thought it was gonna work because I'm

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such an overthinker that I thought it
wasn't going to work for me. And

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what I've learned is that the people
who think meditation is not going to work

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for them are typically the people who
need to meditate the most, like myself

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included. And the benefit of you
meditating before your interviews is that you become

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a bit more grounded. It relieves
your anxiety. But when you start to

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feel yourself get anxious to the point
where you're going to freeze in interviews,

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you're already tuned in with your breath, so you're gonna notice when you're getting

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stressed, and it gives you a
second to self correct. The other thing

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I need you to remember is it's
not that serious. It's not that serious.

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So what you don't get this job, there will be another job.

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And I know that stressful. I'm
not negating that at all, But you

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need to work on like giving yourself
permission to be imperfect and giving yourself permotion,

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permission to let go because you are
freezing because you have a desire to

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control the situation and a desire to
be perfect, and a desire to show

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up as like the best thing that's
ever happened, and it's actually making you

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show up worse than you typically would. So focus on your ability to self

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correct and ground yourself. It is
like truly going to change the way you

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look at things. I'm a university
student trying to find an entry level job

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or internship. What are your tips? First of all, congratulations, There

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is nothing more exciting than the stage
of your life of just like figuring out

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what's next for you, figuring out
your career. I look back at my

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university days and sometimes I miss them
a little bit because they feel very,

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very far away now. But anyways, super excited for you. A couple

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of things you need to do.
Number one is accept that the first couple

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of jobs you have out of school
you're probably gonna hate, and that's okay.

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That's actually part of life is not
loving the first job. So don't

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wait around for the perfect position,
don't you know, search for that perfect

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job for a year and a half. Take a chill pill. The job

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might be only okay, that's okay, as long as you're getting paid fairly

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and the people don't suck, you're
good. Best things I would consider you

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doing Number one is invest in a
strong resume and really invest in developing your

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interview skills. So like that last
answer I just gave, invest in practicing

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how to communicate, how to answer
questions, know yourself well enough to know

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when you're getting nervous. Those are
all great things to help get you ready.

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But to tactically get that job,
the best thing you can do is

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network it really is. Eighty percent
of jobs are filled via referrals, and

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the best way to get a referral, like I always say, is to

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network. I've got a full podcast
episode that actually breaks down how to network

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and how to use networking to your
career advantage. So go take a listen

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to that to break it down.
But the best way to get a job

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fresh out of school is networking and
having strong fundamentals and strong foundationals, and

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also target companies that notoriously hire you
grads. There are a lot of companies

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that like invest quite a bit in
new grad hiring. A lot of big

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banks like a lot of companies like
that. So just be thoughtful about where

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you're applying to to make sure they
actually have the programs and infrastructure and support

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you're going to need to grow your
career. But my biggest piece of advice,

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have a good resume, get really
good at networking. How do you

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know when to be resilient and when
to leave the job due to not fitting

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the culture or understanding office politics.
It's hard. It like it's such a

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hard thing. So good for you
for taking some time to think about if

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this is what you want. Unfortunately, you really won't know how good or

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bad a company is until you're in, Like you don't know it until you're

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in, because every recruiter is going
to tell you they have the best culture,

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they have the best people. It's
their job. It's sales. Oops,

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y'all hear my meeting notification? Whipsie, whipsie. Whoops. That's fine.

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Well, we'll move forward. We
make it happen. Okay, here's

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what I'm going to say, in
my humble opinion, you got to give

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it a few months to actually see
if you can push through. Every job

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I've ever had for the first five
months because I don't like not knowing everything.

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I don't like feeling ambiguous. I
hate all of those things. It

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wasn't until about six months into the
job I currently have at b my nine

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to five that I was like,
you know what, I kind of love

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this and I'm so happy I stuck
with it because I love this job so

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much. Like I love this job, so it is. It is something

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that you need to give yourself some
time for. If it's been about six

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months and you're still feeling the same, you need to ask yourself is it

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impacting your mental health? If the
answer is yes, good sign. To

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leave. Is it impacting you on
the weekends, is it impacting you after

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work? Are there things that you
can do in your job that can make

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this job work for you. Maybe
you don't engage with certain people. Maybe

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you get everything in writing instead of
you know, taking a request over the

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phone because they get a little snappy
or they get rude. Whatever it is

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like, ask yourself what modifications can
reasonably exist in order to make this job

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work for you. Sometimes though,
the people just suck and the culture just

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sucks, and it's a little bit
political and it's too political. You need

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to think about what industry you're working
in and see is this the norm for

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the industry you work in. If
you work in consulting and in banking,

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I hate to tell you both of
those are political. That's not changing no

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matter which of the big companies you
go to, it's going to stay the

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same. So you might need to
actually consider not just a company switch,

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but an industry switch. So start
paying attention to how the industry around you

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is operating and if that's common.
If it's not, and you just got

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unlucky with this company that kind of
sucks, it's time to start looking for

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a job. While you set boundaries, listen to last week's episode so that

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you can survive without losing your mind. But the long winded answer, the

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short, long short of it.
What's that thing on Reddit where it's like

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the TLDR, the td T tldrm
John, what I'm trying to say,

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the long and the short of it? Something like that. I think that's

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the phrase goodness. I need a
copy basically, long story short, give

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it a few months. If that
is not going to work, create boundaries,

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and then go create another opportunity for
yourself. I was like an inch

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and a half away from having an
episode this week all about perfectionism and how

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much it can encourage you to procrastinate
and how much it impacts your mental health,

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and I was getting ready to talk
about it, and I was like,

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oh, you know what, I
think we need to answer questions and

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then next week we'll talk about perfectionism. So stay tuned for that because it's

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something I deal with and I really
think that I have not mastered it,

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but I have gotten to a place
where I feel really good about how I

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balance these things. So I'll make
sure to keep you really close on the

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tips and tricks I've learned both through
career coaching and in my own journey through

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therapy. It's basically free therapy,
and what you're going to do is be

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nice to yourself this week and be
kind to yourself. I do have a

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super exciting announcing coming up that I
will make sure to keep you close on.

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I'm going to be hosting a very
big event that will be in person

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over the next couple of months,
so stay tuned for that so I can

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share with you the details if you
are interested. Thank you so much for

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hanging out with me, and I'll
talk to you next Sunday. Y