Questions, questions, questions. Hey, it's Emily, welcome back. Hey,
Hi, Hello, Yes you can trust me with your career advice.
Welcome back to another episode of the Straight Shooter Recruiter podcast. Yes it's me.
I'm your host, I'm your producer. This show is my baby.
I am so happy that you are here. It has been a hot minute
since we've had a purely questions episode. And I went to go check on
the Google form that I put in the description of every single episode where I
collect your questions and audibly gasped because there's so many. I only did I
think two weeks where I didn't answer questions because I just had longer podcast episodes,
and like it shows because there's so many. So we are going to
have a whole dedicated episode just like old days, the old days being in
question three weeks ago, where I just get through a bunch of your questions.
Don't forget if you want your submitted, I'm always accepting them in the
description. And before we hop into answering these questions, please make sure you
are leaving a rating and a review for the show. It takes you what
like fifteen seconds, and it really helps grow the show. That's how people
are able to find it better when we are rated more highly and in those
top charts. And thank you to everyone who's already done that. And additionally,
if you're listening to the show and you're enjoying it, please make sure
you're sharing it on social media and tagging me. I would love to share
that because it just brings me joy. What can I say? It brings
me joy? Okay, I'm ready to crack into it, are y'all?
Like, let's get into this. Oh, also by my merch that would
be great. Okay, let's go. So the first question is one I
have so much empathy for because I was feeling this too when I was the
same age. It's how should I politely answer people when they say, you're
only twenty five, You're so young, Like I can't be successful in my
current role only because I'm young, especially in interviews. I was in this
position for a long time. I always like share this story when I first
started my career, my full first full time job, I actually had it
when I was eighteen years old, so I was in a room with people
who had more experience, which also meant, for the most part, they
were a minimum five to ten years older than me, and I felt really
insecure because even though I had an amazing team and they really listened to me,
sometimes I would still get scared to voice my opinion or like ask a
question because I didn't want to be perceived as this stupid kid. And it
was just really hurtful and it kind of makes you doubt yourself too, right,
Like, those are some of the things that you start to internalize and
it feeds into your imposter syndrome. So the first thing I want to say
is make sure you are not internalizing this. People are projecting their insecurities onto
you most times when they're treating you poorly. And that's if they're treating you
poorly. Sometimes these people are saying things like, oh my god, you're
only twenty five, you're only eighteen, you're only twenty one, Like it's
a compliment. A lot of times, what they're trying to say is you're
really smart, You've gotten really far in your life, and you're only this
old. Like when I was your age, I was doing way less.
So always assume the best out of the people that you are connecting with.
If you're getting the vibe though that they're saying this in a way that's like
a bit less kind and they're kind of, you know, giving it to
you like a little dig like you're not qualified. The best thing you can
do is a as much as you can avoid making reference to your age,
avoid telling them what you do on the weekends, avoid telling them when you
graduated, leave out any markers that would indicate that you are young and hip
and funky fresh right, like, get out of that whole conversation with them,
so that it slowly becomes less top of mind. The only thing I
can tell you to do is ignore it, and I know that's going to
be really unsatisfactory. Advice don't clap back, don't tell them anything. Don't
feel like you need to defend yourself or do any of these things to impress
them or make them think you're more qualified. Your work is going to speak
for itself, the fact that you are young and smart now, like,
imagine how much you're going to accomplish in the next five years. So don't
let this get to your head. It was something that really impacted me and
as as older, like, oh god, that was a weird sentence.
As I've gotten older, because I'm twenty eight it's only a couple of years.
Well, I shouldn't say I am twenty eight. I'm twenty eight in
a couple of weeks. But Tomato's motto pepill slowly stop saying that once you
get closer to your late twenties, they kind of just accept your work for
what it is. But I've learned now that most people are saying that like
it's a compliment or they're jealous of your age. So just keep to yourself
and keep on keeping on. Dear Emily, what advice would you give to
someone who genuinely freezes during interviews and struggles to articulate their skills, which causes
them to fail miserably during every interview. Basically, I get really nervous during
the interview, and I'm always getting interviewed by three people, which causes more
anxiety. What's the best way I can excel during these interviews? Any advice
would be helpful. Thank you, Thank you so much for writing in.
It is really normal to get nervous during interviews. It's extremely common. In
fact, it is way more likely that someone is going to have performance anxiety
with the more people in the room, So it's super normal for you to
feel extra anxious when there's three people on a panel or if it's a group
interview. All of that is super super common. So first thing I want
you to do except that you being nervous and you being scared is a sign
that you care. And stop treating this anxiety you have like it's holding you
back, and start talking about it like it's an indicator of how much you
care. So instead of telling yourself, oh my god, I'm always freezing,
I'm such an idiot. I wish I didn't get this nervous, reframe
it and actually start saying out loud to yourself. I get nervous because I
care so deeply, and when I find the right job, I'm going to
care so much that it's going to set me apart from everybody else. When
you start to speak love back into yourself. As cheesy as it sounds,
you are legitimately rewiring your brain and forcing your brain to see the good in
you. The more we harp on like that anxious cycle, the more we're
investing in this spinning wheel where we say I'm not good at interviews. I
freeze in interviews. Therefore you freezen interviews and you don't perform well, but
when we start to break that cycle how we communicate to ourselves, it legitimately
does make a difference. So try over the next couple of weeks to speak
to yourself differently. A more practical kind of tip or like set of advice
that I would give you. The only way you're going to get better is
if you really pressure and practice. The best way you can relieve pressure is
think about something called the improv theory. I have a full podcast episode on
this that goes deeper, but improv is basically a style of theater where people,
our actors are making stuff up on the spot. And there's a number
one rule in improv theater and in acting where you're not allowed to say no.
So I could tell you the sky's falling, you can't say no,
But what you can say is yes, the sky's falling and I'm wearing purple
shoes. You have to say yes. And and the reason this is a
rule in theater is if you say no, you kill the scene. What's
scary about improv is that people don't actually have time to think about what they're
going to say, and if they spend too much time thinking about what they're
going to say, the scene sucks, it gets awkward, it loses its
magic. The scene is also dead. So improv actors have become especially skilled
at just talking like they just they fucking talk. They just say what's on
their mind. In fact, I would argue they speak first, think second.
So getting into that mindset of it's okay for me not to say the
perfect thing as long as I say something is going to free you because you
are probably getting so hyped up thinking about if you're saying the right thing that
your delivery ends up making the right thing the worst thing to say. It
ends up sounding choppy and anxious and you're freezing and you're taking pauses. So
adopt that mindset, and if you can, like start doing improv, like
take an improv class on the weekends, it will literally change the way you
communicate for the rest of your life. I would also highly recommend going to
websites, even my own, like head over to my Instagram, look at
a few of the commonly asked interview questions that I have, and write them
down and practice answering them, and record yourself answering them on your phone,
and then go back and watch and listen to how you answer and like,
look at your body language, listen to the language that you're using. It'll
help you go back and understand specifically what you need to do. But to
be honest, if you're someone who's freezing during interviews, this is coming from
a place of It's like, the issue isn't that you are underprepared or that
you don't know what to say. It's the fact that you get so anxious
that you're free that you can't even say the great stuff that you have.
So your biggest investment needs to come in your ability to ground yourself and your
ability to be present. So I really advise you take on that improv mindset
and start practicing improv. I also think that practices like meditation will really really
help you. And I never ever, ever was a meditation person like I
was. I don't know. I never thought it was gonna work because I'm
such an overthinker that I thought it wasn't going to work for me. And
what I've learned is that the people who think meditation is not going to work
for them are typically the people who need to meditate the most, like myself
included. And the benefit of you meditating before your interviews is that you become
a bit more grounded. It relieves your anxiety. But when you start to
feel yourself get anxious to the point where you're going to freeze in interviews,
you're already tuned in with your breath, so you're gonna notice when you're getting
stressed, and it gives you a second to self correct. The other thing
I need you to remember is it's not that serious. It's not that serious.
So what you don't get this job, there will be another job.
And I know that stressful. I'm not negating that at all, But you
need to work on like giving yourself permission to be imperfect and giving yourself permotion,
permission to let go because you are freezing because you have a desire to
control the situation and a desire to be perfect, and a desire to show
up as like the best thing that's ever happened, and it's actually making you
show up worse than you typically would. So focus on your ability to self
correct and ground yourself. It is like truly going to change the way you
look at things. I'm a university student trying to find an entry level job
or internship. What are your tips? First of all, congratulations, There
is nothing more exciting than the stage of your life of just like figuring out
what's next for you, figuring out your career. I look back at my
university days and sometimes I miss them a little bit because they feel very,
very far away now. But anyways, super excited for you. A couple
of things you need to do. Number one is accept that the first couple
of jobs you have out of school you're probably gonna hate, and that's okay.
That's actually part of life is not loving the first job. So don't
wait around for the perfect position, don't you know, search for that perfect
job for a year and a half. Take a chill pill. The job
might be only okay, that's okay, as long as you're getting paid fairly
and the people don't suck, you're good. Best things I would consider you
doing Number one is invest in a strong resume and really invest in developing your
interview skills. So like that last answer I just gave, invest in practicing
how to communicate, how to answer questions, know yourself well enough to know
when you're getting nervous. Those are all great things to help get you ready.
But to tactically get that job, the best thing you can do is
network it really is. Eighty percent of jobs are filled via referrals, and
the best way to get a referral, like I always say, is to
network. I've got a full podcast episode that actually breaks down how to network
and how to use networking to your career advantage. So go take a listen
to that to break it down. But the best way to get a job
fresh out of school is networking and having strong fundamentals and strong foundationals, and
also target companies that notoriously hire you grads. There are a lot of companies
that like invest quite a bit in new grad hiring. A lot of big
banks like a lot of companies like that. So just be thoughtful about where
you're applying to to make sure they actually have the programs and infrastructure and support
you're going to need to grow your career. But my biggest piece of advice,
have a good resume, get really good at networking. How do you
know when to be resilient and when to leave the job due to not fitting
the culture or understanding office politics. It's hard. It like it's such a
hard thing. So good for you for taking some time to think about if
this is what you want. Unfortunately, you really won't know how good or
bad a company is until you're in, Like you don't know it until you're
in, because every recruiter is going to tell you they have the best culture,
they have the best people. It's their job. It's sales. Oops,
y'all hear my meeting notification? Whipsie, whipsie. Whoops. That's fine.
Well, we'll move forward. We make it happen. Okay, here's
what I'm going to say, in my humble opinion, you got to give
it a few months to actually see if you can push through. Every job
I've ever had for the first five months because I don't like not knowing everything.
I don't like feeling ambiguous. I hate all of those things. It
wasn't until about six months into the job I currently have at b my nine
to five that I was like, you know what, I kind of love
this and I'm so happy I stuck with it because I love this job so
much. Like I love this job, so it is. It is something
that you need to give yourself some time for. If it's been about six
months and you're still feeling the same, you need to ask yourself is it
impacting your mental health? If the answer is yes, good sign. To
leave. Is it impacting you on the weekends, is it impacting you after
work? Are there things that you can do in your job that can make
this job work for you. Maybe you don't engage with certain people. Maybe
you get everything in writing instead of you know, taking a request over the
phone because they get a little snappy or they get rude. Whatever it is
like, ask yourself what modifications can reasonably exist in order to make this job
work for you. Sometimes though, the people just suck and the culture just
sucks, and it's a little bit political and it's too political. You need
to think about what industry you're working in and see is this the norm for
the industry you work in. If you work in consulting and in banking,
I hate to tell you both of those are political. That's not changing no
matter which of the big companies you go to, it's going to stay the
same. So you might need to actually consider not just a company switch,
but an industry switch. So start paying attention to how the industry around you
is operating and if that's common. If it's not, and you just got
unlucky with this company that kind of sucks, it's time to start looking for
a job. While you set boundaries, listen to last week's episode so that
you can survive without losing your mind. But the long winded answer, the
short, long short of it. What's that thing on Reddit where it's like
the TLDR, the td T tldrm John, what I'm trying to say,
the long and the short of it? Something like that. I think that's
the phrase goodness. I need a copy basically, long story short, give
it a few months. If that is not going to work, create boundaries,
and then go create another opportunity for yourself. I was like an inch
and a half away from having an episode this week all about perfectionism and how
much it can encourage you to procrastinate and how much it impacts your mental health,
and I was getting ready to talk about it, and I was like,
oh, you know what, I think we need to answer questions and
then next week we'll talk about perfectionism. So stay tuned for that because it's
something I deal with and I really think that I have not mastered it,
but I have gotten to a place where I feel really good about how I
balance these things. So I'll make sure to keep you really close on the
tips and tricks I've learned both through career coaching and in my own journey through
therapy. It's basically free therapy, and what you're going to do is be
nice to yourself this week and be kind to yourself. I do have a
super exciting announcing coming up that I will make sure to keep you close on.
I'm going to be hosting a very big event that will be in person
over the next couple of months, so stay tuned for that so I can
share with you the details if you are interested. Thank you so much for
hanging out with me, and I'll talk to you next Sunday. Y