This is doctor Wendy Walsh and you're listening to kf I am six forty the
Doctor Wendy Walsh Show on demand on the iHeartRadio app him six forty. You
have Doctor Wendy Walsh with you. This is the Doctor Wendy Walsh Show.
I would like to welcome my Instagram audience. If you'd like to see me
while I do this segment, you certainly can just log onto Instagram and the
handle is at doctor Wendy Walsh. After this segment, I am going to
be taking your calls and if you have relationship questions, it's time for my
drive by makeshift relationship advice. But before we go there, I was talking
about green flags that are often mistaken for red flags in relationships and also when
you're in a relationship. This is a common common question that I get from
people. They say, my girlfriend, my boyfriend, my husband, and
my wife whatever is going through a really tough time. I'm wondering if they
have mental health issues, or they're depressed, or they have anxiety, how
do I help them? How do I help them? And usually I say,
well, you're not their therapist. Don't forget that, it's not your
job. I mean, sometimes the best way to help a partner is to
say, you know, maybe it's time you find a license therapist. Right.
On the other hand, you can make matters worse by being a bad
partner and not providing emotional support. And then comes the question, well,
what is emotional support. It's very simple, and I've got a few tips
for you when your partner is struggling emotionally, when your partner's going through something,
this is what you need to do. Number one, It's really simple.
Listen, really listen, concentrate with no distractions, eye contact. It's
so easy to be looking at your phone and having the TV on and having
a halfway conversation. They're trying to tell you something important. I want you
to focus and give your partner your full attention. The next thing I want
you to do. Did you ever notice lately when you call some of these
call centers, they've been so well trained in emotional communication that you tell them
your problem, whether it's the airline or the credit card company, or your
internet not working or whatever. And then you tell them your problem and then
they repeat back what they think they heard. They're like, so, what
I'm hearing from you is that baby, And I'm like, did they go
to some emotional coaching? Right? So that's what you need to do.
Paraphrase what you just heard and repeat it back. This is not mocking them.
This is called active listening. You know what it does. It validates
your partner's feelings. Plenty of times when people are hurting emotionally, they just
want to be heard. They just need to know that they're heard, that
someone is there who understands them and hears them. And the way we do
that is by being an active listener. So it starts with something like,
so what I'm hearing you say is that? So as I understand it,
what you're going through? Is this right? And then just repeat it back
in your own words. This is super important. Now. The next thing
I want you to do is ask them what they want from you, Not
like I don't you know? Well, what do you want me to do?
Not like that, that's sarcastic. I mean something like, would you
prefer me to listen right now? Or would you like me to offer some
solutions in a soft, gentle voice. Would you prefer me to listen right
now? Or should I offer some solutions? I don't like to begender on
things. However, it's more likely, because men tend to be more action
oriented, that they're going to be busy problem solving and offering solutions. And
gentlemen, we usually don't want you to do that. You know what we
want you to do. We want you to listen and see us and hear
us and mirror us. I also want to remind you to take their problem
seriously. There's no I mean I have had relationships where I've come home from
a bad day at work and I'm you know, went on and on about
this happened and that happened on my boss, this and that, and my
partner said, yeah, well you know what happens to me, like they
get in a competition, like in other words, they have a worse life.
No, no, no, that's not the thing to do. Or
they laugh, they go it's not that bad. Happens all the time.
I don't know why you're stressing over this. That feels so dismissive, especially
to someone like me who had kind of an anxious attachment style. If someone
said, I don't know why you're overthinking this. I don't know why you're
stressing about this. Is not that big of a deal. No, take
their problems. Seriously, your partner's problems are serious to that they're big to
them. Also offer affection. I said earlier that story. I knew that
I was in love with my boyfriend Julio the first time we had a fight,
when I was very honest and told him because he was mad at me
for something that I had a running feeling in my stomach, and rather than
him making a joke or dismissing my feelings, he stood up and came towards
me and he touched my shoulders. He goes, no, No, it's
not that big of a deal. Affection touch, hold their hand, hug
them, touched their arm, to let them know when they're having an emotional
experience that you're connected to them. Literally, it relieves I can't tell you
how much emotional pain gets relieved just by a little bit of touch, just
by knowing that somebody's in the trenches with you. Here's the story. Last
week, I was on an airplane. It was a very short flight.
I was on the aisle seat, and sitting across in the other aisle seat
was a woman who was actually flying to Los Angeles to visit I'm specialist doctors
as seater Signai hospital, and she was hooked up to some kind of belt
that had some kind of medication in it, and she had an IVY in
her arm. I didn't know if she was having chemotherapy. I didn't know,
not my business, right, but at a certain point her little energy
belt there and the box started making very loud beeping sounds and she's frantic and
she's pulling it out of its pouch and she's trying to read it and press
buttons and she's checking the connections, she's looking for links, and the flight
attendant goes by, and the flight evan does nothing. I mean, she's
got a frigging body alarm going off and nobody's doing anything. So I leaned
over and I just touched her forearm, not the arm that had the IVY,
the other one, and I said, do you need any assistance?
And she looked at me and said, oh, do you know about ivs?
And I said, no, I know nothing about them, but it
looks like you just need a buddy right now, and I have two extra
hands if you need to help me unravel something. Anyway, she starts to
tell me about her medical condition, what was going on. She got the
beeping to stop. She just needed to be seen and heard during a moment
of stress. That's all people need in a moment of dress and we ignore
like, oh, I don't know nothing's going on, I don't see anything.
We do it in our love relationships too, Right, if your partner
is having a hard time emotionally, please do something nice for them. Pick
up their dry cleaning for them, run another kind of air and stock the
fridge, cook something for them, Buy them flowers. Literally, a gesture
can mean all the world to somebody who's going through a hard time. Just
a gesture, some little flowers. Right. I do not expect you to,
nor what I ever suggest that you become your partner's therapist. But sometimes
if you simply offer them love, just say I'm here for you, I'm
not going anywhere, I love you, We're in this together, can be
very calming to the person who's having some emotional stress. Right. And also
this is really important. So you've had this emotional conversation, you've done your
active listening, you paraphrase back to them what you think that you heard.
You let them know you're there for them. Again. You're not analyzing them,
and you're not being their therapist, just being supportive. Now, check
back in with them in a day or two. Don't let this be water
under the bridge. Go hey, how's that issue going, how you're feeling
now? I just want to check back in to see how you're doing.
This is really important that you bring it up again, because they might be
too embarrassed to bring it up again, whatever this difficult situation is for them.
Here's what you shouldn't do. We all do it sometimes, okay,
But when your partners having emotion distress, don't dismiss their feelings. Don't say
it's not a big deal. Don't say cheer up. Don't try to be
the worst. Oh, this is the worst. Some people their own coping
mechanism because they feel upset when their partners upset, so they've been taught to
express I call it toxic positivity. They get happier, thinking it'll be contagious
and the other person will catch the happy feelings and then therefore everything will be
okay. And so when somebody is feeling sad or angry or afraid or ashamed,
the last thing you want to do is to have a happy gesture beside
you, because then you feel worse In comparison. You want somebody to go,
oh gosh, I'm so sorry you're going through that. Also, don't
try to solve their problems for them. That's not your job right not to.
And also, don't analyze them. You can politely suggest that they see
a therapist and talk to somebody else about this. I mean, give them
the love and support before you say that. Don't just say I don't want
to hear it, oh doctor therapist. Give them love, support and listen,
but don't analyze them. All right, when we come back, I
am taking your calls from my drive by makeshift relationship Advice. A reminder.
I'm not a therapist. I'm a psychology professor, but I'm in around and
I got some life wisdom for you. I've written three books on relationships.
My dissertation was on attachment theory, and I'm happy to weigh in on your
love life. The telephone number is one eight hundred five two zero one five
three four. That's one eight hundred five two zero one KFI. You're listening
to the Doctor Wendy Walsh Show on kf I Am six forty. We're live
everywhere on the iHeartRadio app. You're listening to doctor Wendy Walsh on demand from
kf I am six forty, Ay, am six forty. You have doctor
Wendy Walsh with you. This is the Doctor Wendy Walsh Show. I'm taking
your calls from my drive by makeshift relationship Advice. I'm a psychology professor,
but I've written three books on relationships and did a dissertation on attachment theory.
Be honored to weigh in with my life's wisdom. Who do we have?
Producer Kayla, we have Melissa with the question Melissa. Hi, Melissa,
it's doctor Wendy. Hi. Hi, what's your question? Love? Yes,
So I am dating and I go on a lot of dates, but
I don't really connect with the guys that they seem interested. But then I
just recently connected with one and we there's chemistry. We're both liking each other.
But now I can catch I catch myself getting scared. How fast you
go? How slow do you go? I feel like a turtle that goes
back in the shelf. But but I okay, Melissa, this is very,
very normal at the beginning of a relationship where you feel you have chemistry
with somebody and then you're like, how fast do I go, How slow
do I go? What do I do? You can't really hold the clutch
for very long, Okay, But what a healthy person does is they learn
to self regulate, meaning that when you have those feelings, you describe them
as being scared. You use the language with your partner. You say,
you know, I'm really falling for you, but I'm feeling a little bit
scared. This is a very common thing, and it's a compliment because you're
like, I don't know what I'm falling into here, I don't even know
who you are, And don't be afraid to take it slowly. But the
most important thing is that all the feelings you're feeling express them to your partner,
because that's how you build intimacy. Don't listen to rules rules that say,
you know, you shouldn't be boyfriend and girls until this many months,
you shouldn't have sex until this many weeks. You shouldn't forget about all that.
It's about intimacy and growing that secure attachment. And that means all those
feelings that you're sharing with me, I want you to share with your partner.
And if his reaction isn't sort of welcoming, if you don't feel reciprocation,
then you know to move on, right, But I think just being
honest from the beginning, Hey, I'm falling for you, but I'm really
scared here. And see what they say. If he says, well,
let's cool it, chick, I wasn't going there then, you know,
right, But if he if he said, I have the same feelings,
then you're building intimacy is a good thing, Melissa, It's normal. Okay,
So that makes sense. That makes a lot of sense, especially you're
saying how he responds because my last relationship he was emotionally unavailable, right,
so you have a little more anxiety, yeah, because of his last experience.
Yeah, so just say that. You know, I said it to
my Julio when I met. I'm like, oh, you should know.
I have a little bit of abandonment issues. You know what he did to
me, Melissa. One time we were only dating a few weeks and he
was in Miami and he was supposed to come back I don't know, the
next day or something, but he changed his flight and he came back a
day early. But he never told me. So he called me the next
day and as we're chatting, he said, oh, no, I'm in
La already and I'm like what And it deregulated me so much because I thought
you didn't even tell me. And I'm talking to him and he's in my
own city and he didn't tell me where he was, like my locator was
off. And I just said to him, look, I have abandonment issues.
I need to know where you are at all times. Are you okay
with that? He laughed, He said, you are so cute. Sure,
And then he said, why don't I just put location services on my
phones? You can see where I am. I'm like, what, I
don't let me seeing him a few weeks? Isn't that nice? So there
you go. You tell him your feelings and then you get somebody who is
comforting and the one who isn't comforting. This is the important part you have
to move away from, right. There's nothing wrong with you for being honest
about your feelings. You just move away from them. But thank you for
calling, Melissa. I really appreciate the call. Okay, Producer, Kayla,
who do we have next? Do you have Danielle with the question Danielle
Danielle or Danielle Danielle? Yes? Hi? Did I say it right?
Yes? Thank you? Yes, Danielle, are you got it right?
What's your question? Love? All right? Actually the question comes from my
son. He is eleven years old. I've been divorced four years and I've
been in a relationship with someone that fell in love with us. We fell
in love with him, we became very close and a lot of the same
patterns from the same marriage, from my previous marriage, with alcohol and anger
and being absent emotionally. But we're now so close to the second person.
How do we move on when we all love mister John so much, but
we know it's not the health relationship. Yeah, so so trust me.
Kids, know when you said this is a question from your son. Your
son knows that this is not a good person. This your son knows that
this person is struggling, and yet you have an attachment to them. I
think you need to tell your son, you know what, you always come
first in my life, and your happiness and your future is more important to
me than anybody else. So I'm going to put you first and we're going
to move on. And that's where and you'll find other surrogate allow parents,
coaches, teachers, pastors, other people in the community who your son can
look up to But if you see those patterns and when I hear drugs and
alcohol involved, this is not a healthy nest for a kid to be around.
Okay, so I want you to be strong and be honest with your
kid. Say you come first. I love you. Thank you so much
for calling Daniella. That's heartbreaking. Producer, Kayla, do we have someone
else? Or should go to stars? Nelson with a question? Nelson,
Hi Nelson, it's doctor Wendy. How are you hidy? How are you
today? I allow you're almost Lisa a Sunday on the weekend too, biblight
for and you and your family with you? My question? Thank you.
I have friends all fame. I walk in on a housepital I said,
go on every team. But my question is why do people man hungry,
sad and crying? I feel people like, come on, let's speak nobody
and like I'm a example, like I'm on you let speak somebody in your
job. But you just speak so the first of about me? Help hop
or it's something wrong for the people. I don't understand. Um, I'm
so sorry. I wish I could understand your accent. So you're asking me
about why men do what at work? Did you say cry? Nor?
Why are they so emotional? Sometimes they come in they're happy, they're sad,
they're angry. He doesn't know why. Every day it's a different emotion,
and he wants to know how to deal with particularly man you work with
women. Yeah, he's that man. Well, then you need to ask
him. You need to ask people what's going on with you? What's happening?
This is not your normal way of being. I think you just need
to ask them. There's no one right answer for this. This is just
the way people are bringing their emotions. And maybe they feel safe bringing their
emotions to you, Nelson. Maybe they feel like they is a safe place
for them to express I don't know. It's a good question, though.
I'm curious to know who comes into work mad, people who hate their jobs.
Maybe all right, do a time for one more as we go to
break. We gotta break. Okay, We're gonna go to break. When
we come back, I'm going to continue to take your calls and go to
social media and answer some of your dms. The number is one eight hundred
five two zero one five three four. That's one eight hundred five two zero
one k five. You're listening to doctor Wendy Walsh on demand from KF.
I am six forty kym or do you have doctor Wendy Walsh with you?
This is the Doctor Wendy Walsh Show. I am taking your calls with your
relationship questions. Reminder, I'm not a therapist. I'm a psychology professor,
but I'm happy to wait in with my wisdom on your love life. Producer,
Kayla, do we have somebody on the line. I'm still screening,
left, I'm still screening, okay for the number is one eight hundred five
two zero one KFI. I do have a lot of dms coming in on
social media, so let me read a couple of them. Here. Dear
Doctor Wendy, my husband left me after five months for a mistake I made.
She didn't say what the mistake was. I feel like I failed him
and our relationship. Maybe he won't even talk to me. He has not
filed for divorce, but I don't know where we stand. How can we
figure this out? Well, it's really hard to have a relationship with somebody
who's not talking to you. So that's the first thing is you have to
actually get them to engage with you in some way, so you need to
be able to say to them, hey, are we going to therapy,
you know, and also in a way of like, I made a mistake
and I'm looking for your forgiveness and I want to find a way to work
it out. If he continues to give you the silent treatment, then he's,
you know, trying to punish you, or he doesn't know how to
manage his own feelings about everything that's going on. I would give him time,
but you might want to enter therapy yourself, because I'm sure this is
bringing up a lot, a lot of painful feelings. I have to tell
you back in the day when I was single and I had a kind of
anxious attachment style and people wouldn't call me back or give me the silent treatment
or whatever. It hurt like. I can't begin to tell you how much
it hurt. It hurt as much as a physical pain. It really did.
It's awful, So I know what it feels like, and especially because
it's sort of combined with all those feelings of shame and guilt because of the
whatever mistake you made. I'm not sure what it is, Dear doctor Wendy.
I recently found out that my girlfriend comes from a really really that's two
really's really really rich family. She never told me. Good Now I feel
insecure being with her. Oh lord, really, I feel like she didn't
tell me because she doesn't think I'm good enough. Challenge that thought. I
don't want to break up, but being with her makes me feel insecure.
What can I do? Okay, this is your problem, not hers.
Okay, you have a girlfriend who did not disclose the money her family has.
Because I'll tell you why, it makes many men, in particular runaway.
You know, there's research out there to show that when men make more
money or have more money, they're much more attractive to female mates. However,
with women, it's the opposite. When women earn more money, men
feel insecure and get like move away sometimes, and the same with it.
If you think, like you know, she's got this really wealthy family,
I want you to work on yourself a scene. It's not like she Okay,
The reason why she didn't tell you is not because she doesn't think you're
good She wouldn't be dating you if she didn't think you were good enough.
She just doesn't want that family money to get in the way of building a
normal relationship and a normal love. Life. You have no idea. I
mean, I don't want to sit here and talk about the plight of the
poor, trust fundus, the plight of the rich people. There's poor children
with all that money, but they really have a hard time finding healthy mates
because they get targeted by people who want money and want their money or want
to get close to their family or their connections. So they don't they hide
it so they can just be seen for them. I think you should treat
your girlfriend the way you always treated your girlfriend. It's just a wonderful person
and you need to work on your self esteem, maybe even with a therapist.
Okay, here's another question that just came in. And by the way,
I am live on TikTok right now. If you'd like to come on
to TikTok and say hello to me, you certainly can. The handle everywhere
is at doctor Wendy Walsh at are Wendy Walsh, and while we're live on
TikTok, I also want to mention that if you want to come over to
my patreon, I do a live Zoom Room Zoom Room every Wednesday night and
we talk about it's kind of like I always say, it's like a book
club without the book. We talk about the latest and scientific research on relationships.
We talk about relationship skills. People do disclose some of their personal stuff
and the group sometimes ways in. But it's not therapy. It's just a
wonderful community of relationship enthusiasts. So if you want to join that, it's
patreon dot com slash doctor Wendy Welsh. Okay, let me go back to
social media. I see there's a question, Dear doctor Wendy. I think
I'm bisexual. I come from a very religious and strict family, and I'm
not sure how to tell them. What do you suggest? Well, I
have a few things to say. First of all, I know I'm going
to get all those crazy, evil emails from every side of the spectrum.
Evolutionary psychologist would say that every single human being is bisexual. Calm down,
not necessarily in behavior, not necessarily in this life and this time. But
we are all wired because sex is used for many more things than just reproduction.
We are wired to seek closeness and affection and even sexual contact. And
sometimes in our evolutionary past, we were in a mating marketplace where there weren't
enough mates to go around. Right now, for instance, we have an
oversupply in America of successful women. The feminization of college campuses has been going
on for a few decades. For every two guys that graduate college, there
are three women. And this has been going on for a long time.
Women, young women are starting to make more money than their male counterparts.
There are plenty of women, sadly who still have their own Cinderella complex,
who would rather date another successful women than a less successful man. I don't
necessarily condone this, and so as a result, when you have an oversupply
of one gender innimating marketplace in this case, I can comically successful women,
then you're going to see bisexual behave. You're much more condoned and accepted in
the culture. But I digress. So first of all, you also said
I think I'm bisexual. You won't know until you experiment. Almost everybody goes
through a period of experimentation in their life. I don't think rushing to tell
your family is the thing to do. They don't need to know about your
sex life necessarily. I mean it'll be different if you find a primary,
secure love relationship, and you know relationships are bridge between tribes and you want
to introduce them to your mate, great, They don't need to hear about
your experimentation. Just go be you, be real, and don't turn this
into a big problem before it's a problem. It's okay, and we're all
we're all just people. We're all just finding ways to stay connected and to
love each other. And good luck to you. Always breaks my heart when
I get those calls. All right, when we come back, are you
being micro ghosted? Micro ghosted? It's actually different than red crumbing. I
know all these new terms. I'll explain when we come back. You are
listening to The Doctor Wendy Walls Show and kf I Am six forty. We're
live everywhere on the iHeartRadio Act. You're listening to Doctor Wendy Walsh on demand
from kf I Am sixty I Am six forty. You have Doctor Wendy Walsh
with you. This is the home stretch of the Doctor Wendy Walsh Show.
Producer Kayla, have you ever been ghosted? Um? I don't think so,
not that I can remember. I don't think so. I'm lucky you
yea yeah one time, yes, ma'am. And so wait first, Kayla,
so what happened? Like how cloaks were you when you got ghosted.
I just met the guy and we were supposed to go on some date somewhere
when I first moved here, and then he just stopped responding to me.
Oh yeah, I can't remember. What did I feel like? It didn't
feel great. It didn't feel great. He was my plans for the day,
and I was like, I guess I'm just going to chill in the
house, because there's more than a plan. Don't you take it like totally
personally? Like I didn't know him well enough to take it personally personally,
but I was like, oh, man, Christina, what about you?
Well, doctor Minnie, I have the same attachment style as you. I
took it very personally. We were on like date four or five, and
I just I could not understand. I couldn't comprehend. We don't have to
answer this, but had you had sex? We had not? Okay,
thank goodness, because that's the worst. Right. They court up until the
sex and then they ghost like nothing more painful. I've even told people that
before the first time I have sex, I'm like, I fully expect flowers.
I expect you to sleep over, I expect you to call tomorrow check
in with me. I'd give them a whole owner's manual of how to deal
with me after they've had sex for the first time. I was ghosted one
time, and it was a terrible ghosting because I went on one date with
a guy, this obviously before I met Julio, and it went okay,
Like it wasn't like huge sparks. It went okay. And then there was
a whole bunch of texting back and forth, and I, you know,
I was just tracking, you know, when you're looking at text and you're
busy doing other things. And maybe I said something I don't know in the
text, and he wrote rude and sent one of those little gifts like you're
being rude or something, and I didn't know what he was talking about.
I just kind of moved on with it didn't matter. So like a week
later, he texts me and says, oh, you want to get together
for dinner at this place whatever? And I'm like, go sure. So
he goes, I'll come to your neighborhood. You name the restaurant I do.
So I get dressed up, I walk over to the restaurant and he
does not show up. He literally leaves me alone in a restaurant. This
is not decades ago. This is fairly recently, right before I met Julio.
So you know, I am one to make lemonade at Lemons. The
owner chef was at the bar, so ISAAIH can I move? I was
at a two top table. I said, oh, my companion is unable
to make it to night. He had a last minut cancel. Could we
could I just sit up at the bar and they said sure. So I
sat at the bar. I ordered dinner. I know most people would leave
the restaurant with their tail between their legs. Not I. I am going
out high. I sit at the bar. I introduced myself. I tell
the owner chef, bartender, you know, I just got stood up.
He's like you, that's impossible. Oh my god. So he ends up
pouring me all kinds of free wine. I'm tasting all his foods. I'm
talking to the guy next to me at the bar, and they're all commiserating
with me, like I can't believe it. It turned out to be one
of the best nights I had. Such a night. So anyway, I
was worried because when you have an anxious attachment style and somebody ghosts you,
you can only imagine one thing. One thing, Christina, did you know
what that thing is? That we imagine where'd they go? They fell into
a wood chipper. They died exactly exactly they died. That is all we
can imagine is they died. So I was actually worried about it. I
sent a few texts like are you okay, I'm a little worried aboutever nothing,
and I'm like, he must be dead, that's it. And then
one night, like a week or so later, I'm having dinner with my
I think my daughter was like eighteen at the time, with her no,
seventeen with her seven the teenagers high school, and I'm telling and she's like,
my mom got completely stood up. I'm like, you're kidding him,
And all the girls were like and then one of the girls is like,
let me just call him, call him, let me call him for my
phone. And I'm like, what, you're gonna call him? So she
calls him and he answers and she says is this so and so says his
name, and he says, yes, who's this? And she just says
you should be so ashamed of yourself and hung up at him and then blocked
him. I'm like, these teenagers, these teenagers out there to protect me
anyway. That was a story of true ghosting. But another thing that's happening
in our culture is something called micro ghosting. Now, micro ghosting is where
they just kind of take a little longer to respond to those texts. When
you call, they don't call back, they text. They just take their
sweet old time and you can feel the distance. Right now, there's another
trend in dating. I love these funny names. I don't know who makes
up these names called breadcrumbing. Now, breadcrumbing is a little it looks very
similar right, inconsistent contact, mostly texting, except breadcrumbing is designed to bring
to reel you in, bring you closer. Let me just throw her a
little bit of bait so she doesn't go away, because I want to keep
her as a backup mate. I got my little harem here. I'm going
to breadcrumb this one. Shoot or a text everyone as well. Do some
likes on her Instagram posts, be kind of like oh yeah, you know,
just to make sure that she hasn't dropped off and that if I ever
needed to reach out that direction, she'd be there. That's breadcrumbing. Micro
ghosting is, you know, Oh, I don't even know, if this
relationship is right, maybe I should get out of it. They're just unsure
about the relationship right, and so they really are slowly moving away. Now,
this also happened to me once. That's that video I put on Instagram.
They got like three million views and it was just a story that I
was telling, but it got a lot of views. And so I had
been dating this guy for not that long. I want to say, Oh
God, three four weeks or something, and something shifted. It could have
been something I said again, I say things that us upset people. Something
I said, so whatever, something else going on his life. I don't
know, but I felt the distance starting, taking a little longer to respond
to my text texting instead of calling, not having a next date on the
calendar, I could just feel it. So instead I called. He happened
to pick up, which was a miracle, and I just said hey,
I just commented on the elephant of the living room. I was like,
hey, I'm noticing, like we kind My favorite line is we kind of
lost our rhythm. We lost our rhythm there, and I'm wondering why.
Just as I said it like that, and he hummed and hot and kind
of said something yeah, I noticed that I don't really know why either,
and I said, cool, goodbye, darling. No worries. Now,
this doesn't mean that I didn't feel lost. This doesn't mean that I didn't
feel sad. In fact, I had a little boohoo in the shower.
I was sad, right, But I knew to cut things off because I
was not going to go down that road of being stringed along by anybody ever
again. And when I first gave him the opportunity to say, oh,
no, I'm sorry, I've just been busy working. Let's definitely make up
for it. Let's get together Fried, he didn't that he was homin and
han. I had all the information I needed by just being direct. So
if you feel yourself being micro ghosted, don't do what many girls do,
which is say I'm putting gender on it, because more often happens with guys
do it to women. Don't like start to act like the perfect person and
put more provocative house on Instagram or contry to contact him more, or reel
him in and breadcrumb him in some way. Just comment on it, and
if you don't get the answer you want, move along. That's what I
say, all right, That brings the Doctor Wendy Walsh Show to a close.
You can find me every Sunday from seven to nine pm right here on
KFI AM six forty. I'm also on social media everywhere. The handle is
at doctor Wendy Walsh and I have a wonderful group on Patreon on Wednesday nights.
You're welcome to join patreon dot com slash doctor Wendy Walsh. Kayla Christina
raoul Mark. Wonderful to have you guys again. We will see you next
week right here at seven o'clock. You've been listening to the Doctor Wendy Walsh
Show on kf I Am six forty. We're live everywhere on the iHeartRadio app.
You've been listening to Doctor Wendy Walsh. You can always hear us live
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