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It's just like the old radio show
with the addiibility to swear a lot from

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the mac of All Trade Studio in
Fairport and driven by Victor Chrysler Dods G.

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Bram. It's bilified the Bill Morand
podcast. Well, hello and welcome.

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Thanks for getting your pawn on,
Thanks for telling a friend. That's

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how we spread the word about the
pirate ship. Today, somebody with more

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titles than I think I've ever seen, or more initials next to their name.

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Robert Rice is PhD, LMHC.
I'm not sure what that is.

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Licensed Mental Health counsel okay, Professor
and Chair of Mental Health Counseling Program h

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r S A HERSA. That's a
hers gree Okay. So it's a health

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Resources service organization okay. And then
b h w ET. Yeah, it's

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Behavioral Health, Wellness, Education and
Training, Integrated Care Project Director Saint John

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Fisher University. Your mom has to
be so proud she uh yeah, she's

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she's Italian, okay, and uh
and so she's always been pretty proud of

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and kind of a mama's boy.
Oh there you go. My sister has

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a PhD. And I know my
mom was like thrilled when she got her

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PhD, but that was in linguistics. Yours is in mental health. Well,

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my mom really wanted me to be
to get my m d, so

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actually she was disappointed when I told
her I was getting my PhD. Really

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for sure? Did you then go
and psychoanalyze and figure out why she wanted

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that more than anything else. Part
of the reason why I wanted to get

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my PhD was so that I could
figure out, you know, her and

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my family and everything and then what
messed me up so much. That's pretty

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funny. You have a book it's
called Video Games and Psychotherapy, and it's

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interesting because you wrote in the preface
of the book that you got your first

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gaming console in nineteen eighty six.
It was the Nintendo system that I think

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a lot of us had, and
how you became obsessed with the game,

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playing it for what the ninety four
hours straight or something. Legend is Zelda,

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and that how sometimes the gaming music
brings you back. And music to

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me is always connected to memories,
right, we all have that, and

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it brings us back back to a
happier time. But I was when I'm

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reading the book and stuff. I
always think when it comes to education,

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and I spent more time on the
chapter with kids who would be autism spectrum

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disorder. I think I was chapter
six in the book. And when I'm

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looking through there, I feel like
in the education system, and I'll be

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very interested in your opinion that we
get it wrong. Now, my dad

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philosophy was his big thing, but
he was a sixth green English teacher,

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and his thing was always try to
meet the kids where they are. And

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I don't feel like that's something that
happens. And it was really interesting to

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me to read, in particular that
chapter on ASD. You know, autism

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spectrum disorder and kids and how you
integrated the gaming. But it was so

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cool because you met the kid where
the kid was. So for example,

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there's a young man that you talk
about in the book who was obsessive compulsive

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in addition to being autism spectrum and
a lot of these co exists right the

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Venn diagram will see the co existing
circles and things. And this kid would

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shower for an hour, he'd being
there an hour, and his parents were

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losing their mind or more right.
And I'm sure I mean, if you

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take a hot, steamy shower and
you're you're gonna have paint peeling. You're

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gonna have chips in the ceiling because
it's just too much steam for too long

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in the shower, and then you're
not gonna have any hot water, and

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there's laundry that can't be done,
and the bill goes up. And so

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there's all those practical things that we
all kind of know about, and yet

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we have somebody where the water feels
good and you know, they're a little

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different, and you were able to
take and they tried a timer, right,

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So they set a timer, and
then the kid would get pissed off

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when they'd been banging on the door
because the timer went off and he wasn't

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able to make the connection. And
you met this kid where he was in

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the gaming world. He was a
gamer, and you said, apply,

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make your shower a video game and
in that time and he went through and

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you applied the different music, what
music will be playing, because he was

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a big Mario Brothers. And I
go that to me is it's an overused

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term, but it's brilliant and so
simplistic, right because but for so long

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we're trying to take somebody and force
them to do what we want them to

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do, instead of trying to meet
them where they are, because nobody wants

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to upset anybody else. I really
believe that. I think that most people

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don't want to be I don't know, not not necessarily, I say,

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on the spectrum disorder, but they
don't want to upset anybody. But they

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want to be able to be free
and do what they want. Sure.

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And yet at the same time,
there's great satisfaction in feeling as though there's

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approval, right and somebody, and
I go, boy, that that's an

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amazing thing. And I feel like
we get that wrong in life, especially

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with kids. I agree, Yeah, I agree. And with this gentleman.

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It was a process, right.
We started because we weren't sure if

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it was an obsessive, compulsive process
or if he was really more being soothed

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by the water in the shower,
you know, more small sensory stuff for

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sure, right, yeah, exactly. Uh. And and what we learned

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really was he just wasn't very good
at telling time. You know, he

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really did get a lot of sensory
input from the shower. U And once

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we asked him those questions about you
know, what would your shower be like

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if it were a video game?
You know, he just lit up right,

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you know, well the beginning,
you know, the water would be

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lava and the soap would be umpas
and gumpas, and you know you're going

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through all the different Mario characters.
And and uh, we decided might be

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worth a try to come up with
an audio file for his for his shower.

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So was there real music that played
or was this just kind of in

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his head? Real music he real
minus before that he'd pressed when he goes

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to the shower, gotcha, and
it would start with like regular Mario music.

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And he said that when he was
starting a shower, you know,

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he'd have the regular Mario music in
the background, and then when there was

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about ten minutes left on his shower
before he was supposed to get out,

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it would go to the speed up
Mario music. So you know, if

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you were played Mario Brothers before,
you can like power up and music gets

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really fast and everything gets gets faster, and so that music would come on.

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And then he kind of mixed it
up and said that once he got

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out of the shower and he was
going to brush his teeth, that it

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was going to be Donkey Kong for
some reason, but for him that worked

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great. And uh, and the
kids started hitting the thirty minute mark exactly

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one, you know, a thirty
minute mark two the second. Yeah,

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where did the idea for you come
from? So? I used to work

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prior to working at San John Fisher
University, I ran a clinic through through

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Easter Seals for people with both of
um all disabilities and mental illness. My

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dissertation focused on autism and OCD and
kind of the differences and similarities between the

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different types of repetitive behavior and those
different diagnoses. And so when I was

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working at Easter Seals as the director, I also was seeing clients and I

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learned pretty quickly that most of my
clients, who most of them were younger

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males because the prevalence ratio for autism
is four to one males, they were

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all, for lack of a better
word, preoccupied with video games. That's

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all they wanted to talk about.
And so I, through that process,

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you know, learned a little bit
more about their games. You know,

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at that point, I'm actually not
a gamer. This game book isn't written

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for gamers. This book is written
for primary primarily clinicians, but you know

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parents too, yea, mostly from
a non gamer perspective, But how to

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connect with people using video games,
which is so interesting to so many you

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know, not just people with autism, but you know, all young people

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writing in number one media. So
in doing this work at Easter Seals,

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I worked with a number of great
people, one of them doctor Laurence Sugarman,

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who's over at He was my older
boys pediatrician. Yes, yeah,

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in the beginning, and then he
went more behavioral. You got it,

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yeah, yeah, yeah. I
hired him over at Easter Seals and worked

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with him for a while and I
got to learn a lot from him about

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biofeedback and some of those things.
And he was over at RI at the

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time. I believe he still is. And I told him about an idea

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I had for a video game that
kids would play that would help teach them

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cognitive behavior therapy skills for working through
different types of repetitive behaviors. And and

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so he helped me take that to
the game design studio over there. Stephen

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Jacobs, Professor Jacobs, who's in
the game design program over our et liked

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the idea and that begame. That
started a fifteen year process of doing some

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research and hiring students and developing different
games and apps and things like that,

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we've been doing this for fifteen years. The yeah, yes, yeah,

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And actually what I learned more from
developing these games than anything is that you

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almost don't need to develop the games. Yeah, the games are there,

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and if you learn how to connect
with kids and people through those metaphors,

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you almost don't need to develop the
develop something. That's sort of what I

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was thinking as you're speaking, I'm
going, okay, But so what you're

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doing, though, is taking this
idea. That's where they feel probably the

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freest, right. They're making the
decisions inside the game. Nobody's telling them

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how to do it. And there
are consequences to the game. Right if

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I fall off the thing, or
I get run over by or I get

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hit by the turtle. I don't
want to every game with it, but

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those consequences, which sometimes are hard
to make that connection outside into real life.

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Right, if I do this,
you know, they just simply as

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I touch a hot stove, I
take my handback. Right. But I

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think then when you're able to make
that connection and say, hey, it's

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just like that, life is like
a video game. Boy, what a

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great way to connect. I'm surprised
no one has ever done that, prior.

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Yeah, it's I was surprised too. Yeah, you know, I'm

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saying that's why I ended up writing
the book. You know, there was

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a author, Anthony Bean, who
wrote a book Four Clinicians, that talks

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about the different archetypes and things like
that in video games that can be used

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in therapy. But there'd never been
a book before that really looked at kind

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of practically using you know, video
games and video game meta metaphors and therapy,

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and so yeah, I was.
I was surprised too. And for

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me, one of the first questions
I'll ask my clients when they when I

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see them, as if your life
were a video game, Yeah, you

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know, and you were they they
avatar the hero, right, and the

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problem usually anxiety or OCD or something
like that, were the We're the big

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boss. Then what would that look
like? And we start drawing it out,

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We start drawing out there. What's
the average age of your client anywhere

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from six to twenty three, twenty
four? Okay, so mostly juvenile mostly

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mostly yeah, yeah, and then
the older on the older end of that,

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are they most of them on the
autism spectrum disorder or most of my

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older clients definitely, you know,
it would have met criteria for ASPER years

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back when that was a diagnosis.
Now, why is that not anymore?

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Yeah? So so well that that
changed in twenty thirteen with the DSM four

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going to the DSM five, and
uh, part of it was, I

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think to make it a little more
exclusive. The you know, the the

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op WDD in the in the state
was really having a hard time determining who

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should be eligible for services. So
that that was part of the process,

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and I think we have learned more
about it. Yeah, as you know

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that. I think the prevalence right
now is eighty eight and one in every

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eighty No, it's more way more
than one, one in every thirty six

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they say, now it was one
in eighty eight. Started is autism or

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aspers probably autism spectrum discs? So
yeah, one one in thirty six children

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maybe he's born these days, you
know, would be diagnosed with an autism

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spectrum disorder. Do we as you
know, being around that and having studied

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for so, I'm thinking that you
probably have twenty years of dealing working with

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children. Yeah, yeah, yeah, twenty five twenty five years, so

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in that I often think like do
we handle it wrong? You know,

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you get this diagnosis as a parent, and it's scary, you know what

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I mean. And and I remember, I think it was doctor Sugarman handed

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me an article and it was about
you you plan this trip, right,

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so you're taking the birth of your
child and yeah, and you're and you

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think you're gonna go to Italy and
you've studied the language and you learn the

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customs and you do all of this
stuff, and then all of a sudden

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the day comes for your trip and
you're rerouted to Holland and you don't know

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the language, and you don't know
the customs and you don't know. And

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that's what it's like having a child
on the autism spectrum. And I think,

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yeah, there's overwhelming, and then
there's so much information and sometimes and

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I don't know, but having lived
through some things, and again, experience

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is the greatest teacher, right,
Uh, words don't teach is my big

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thing. Experience is really your big
teacher. And I think that sometimes maybe

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where we get so involved and we
try so hard to take something that we

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believe is imperfect and try to make
it perfect for the world, and it's

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perfect the way it is. And
if you just step back and kind of

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let water seek its own level,
things will be okay. I'm not saying

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that services don't help. I'm not
saying services don't help everybody. I just

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think that sometimes we get so like, you know, we gotta fix this,

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well, we don't even know what's
wrong. Yeah, right. There's

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so many parents whose you know,
identity becomes about getting services for their kids,

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and it's it's so then what you
miss is the kid. You're right,

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and so you miss that stuff,
kid being pulled out of class five

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times a day when they really don't
need those services. They'd be better off

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in class anyway. I mean I
exactly right, and the disruption and you're

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the different kid, and you're all
that stuff. And I remember with one

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of my sons who was diagnosed more
ass burgers now twenty two, has pushed

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himself. It just got a forklift
certified at his job. And there's been

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a waiter which was social interactions.
There was always the inferential language problems.

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Like I remember saying to him as
a kid, wow, you're really sharp,

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and he kind of looked at me
puzzled and said, dad, knives

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are sharp, yep, not people, And I go, okay, got

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it. Uh, that's one of
the benefits of using games and therapy too,

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those types of metaphors. I mean, if someone is smart and they

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can choose a knife to represent that
intelligence in the game, right because knives

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are sharp and that helps make that
connections. Yes, yes, yes,

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see. I think all this stuff
is like, it's so and I don't

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mean to to use this word necessary, but it's simple and and and perfect

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at the same time. Right.
Sometimes I feel like we overcomplicate for too

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many things, and we gotta get
sensory, and you gotta get to this,

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and you gotta get hold on a
second, you know, try to

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take a breath, heater and and
and for so many years we didn't have

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it. So people go, well, what happened to the people that would

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be Did aspergers or autism just pop
up? Is there an increase in it?

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I don't know. Is there a
better way to diagnose it? Probably

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yep. I would think that that
would be more than some stuff. Has

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the environment changed? Possibly? Are
there things in diet and stuff? I

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guess I don't know. We don't. That's not my I tell many of

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my students when I teach my class
on it. So I generally in the

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I teach all the child and family
classes that the mental health program at Future

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and generally when I teach about autism, one of the first things I the

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first things I teach them is if
you if I've met one person with autism,

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I've met one person with autism.
That's a great thing to say,

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because everybody's very different, for sure, I mean all of us are very

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different, but that in particular,
You're right, you can't. There isn't

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one blanket form, right. If
I'm building a wall, it's the same

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thing everywhere I go. I'm sixteen
on center with my beams, and this

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is it. It isn't that way
with human beings, and it's not that

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way with a diagnom. We're still
trying to figure out if it's really should

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be a category as of it inspire
all the changes, you know, and

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and the Asperger's not being a thing
anymore, right right? Uh? And

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then the next thing I tell them
is, uh, you know, I

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wouldn't say this usually to a parent
of someone with child with autism, who's

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really struggling, who's really causing a
lot of behavioral issues and things like that.

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But my opinion, and this is
just an opinion based on my experience,

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and the incredible strengths I've seen in
so many of my clients is that

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this could be evolution. Uh,
you know, the you know the strengths

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of so many people with autism just
seemed to fit so much better with where

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the world and with where society is
going in terms of being you know,

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good at technology and detail oriented and
things like that. I don't know that

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social skills are as important as they
used to be. Oh no, we

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lost that. We lost that.
That's that's a really uh a cool observation

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that you're making. And I learned
to Saint John Fisher that an opinion is

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halfway between fact and fiction, right, So it's based in some fact,

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and I think that that is something
to to seriously consider. I don't know

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that any opinion maybe better than another, but it's certainly something that's I mean,

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boy, they're sure seems to be
evidence to point to your I would

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even call it a theory more than
an opinion. It's no less valid than

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uh, you know, plastics or
vaccines. Right. Yeah, that's where

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we're at right now and need to
have ideas and think about them and hopefully

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in time we'll figure it out.
Yeah, it's well, I really found

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that kind of interesting. And I
even saw when you were talking about with

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people with obsessive compulsive disorder, I
think it was and you gave them and

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I hope I get the analogy right. The RIDE method, yep, yeah,

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that's actually was originated by Oriente Pento
Wagner, who came through the u

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of R. She was I advised
my dissertation. She wrote a book called

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the Uh well she Up and Down
the Worry Hill was the name of the

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book. Okay, you made me
feel extremely smart because I have this theory

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that the Ride method was basically,
well, explain what it is. Sure,

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Sure, it's it's a approach to
cognitive behavior therapy for helping people with

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OCD, you know, work through
the anxiety associated with OCD, right,

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right, And so the idea is, and you know, people think of

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you, we hear CBT, and
we think it's so complicated and it's such

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a Really, isn't all CBT is
is, you know, teaching yourself to

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identify certain irrational thought patterns, like
you know, all are nothing thinking things

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like that, and then ask yourself
certain questions to help you know, inform

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with decisions and be in how to
change your behavior right, And so RIDE

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is an acronym to help people remember
one specific way of doing that for OCD.

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UH, the R stands for rename
the thought, which you know,

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again it's really very much in line
with using metaphors and video games and things

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like that in the psychotherapy too.
Is you know, we can rename this

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OCD or for most of my clients
they've renamed it, you know, the

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shadow Man of Fear or mister Boogeyman, or you know the worry monster.

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You know, everyone has a different
name for you know, their diagnosis when

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they come into my office. So
rename it. Recognize this is successive.

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This isn't something that I need to
be doing right now. You know,

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I'm going to rename this right and
this that also is helpful for parents,

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right because now parents are renaming it, and you know, they're uniting with

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the child against the problem instead of
looking at the child is the problem?

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Right? And I actually encourage people
to look away and imagine that that character

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is sitting there with you in the
room, you know, and look at

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the character with the child and say, okay, this is OCD or this

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is the worry monster. Right?
How are you know how are we going

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to deal with this? Right?
What are we going to do this time?

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What is the worry monster telling you? Once you've you know, renamed

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it. The next letter and ride
is I. And so that's when you

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would insist that you're in charge,
and that basically means, Okay, I'm

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not going to let the worry monster
tell me what to do this time,

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right, And then it's defy the
OCD. And that's that's where a lot

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of people get this wrong. Some
people think that when you're trying to deal

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with this type of you know,
symptom that or this type of repetitive behavior,

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that the goal is to not do
it. It's you know, the

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goal is to just ignore it or
not do it. And actually that's not

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the approach for working through these types
of things. The goal is to do

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the opposite. So if OCD is
telling you I need to hit this table

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three times or something bad will happen, but you know that, you know,

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OCD really really doesn't like this other
number, right, Like, so

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maybe six is a number that OCD
doesn't like, but OCD really likes the

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number three. Then defying the OCD
or doing the opposite would be hitting the

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table six times instead of three times
when OCD tells you hit it three times,

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right, And so sometimes you just
prove that nothing's going to happen pretty

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much. Yeah. So so sometimes
you know, doing this looks almost weirder

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than doing what OCD is telling you
to do, because you know you're you're

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trying to actually do the opposite.
And then the e is enjoy your success,

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right, because the goal at that
point is you know, this is

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hard work, right, and and
we need to make sure that that's actually

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built into it so that in particular, children realize that there's something in this

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forum. So so I I have
a theory, and as I read that,

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I go, well, yeah,
that makes of course that makes sense

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00:21:00,839 --> 00:21:06,920
because any take it away from obsessive, compulsive, or any kind of disorder

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that has a label and just give
it to the human beings. Every one

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of us per separate on something,
right, there's something that's bothering us.

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We wake up in the morning,
we check our email, and now we're

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spun out for the day because something
came down. And I always think your

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job, as the real work isn't
the grind of what you do every day,

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00:21:27,920 --> 00:21:33,400
but it is to go for the
better feeling thought right so and and

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self soothing, which is exactly what
I thought of when I when I read

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that about the acronym ride right trying
to so go for the better feeling,

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00:21:41,599 --> 00:21:45,880
thought, well, I got this
this person and sent me this nasty email,

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and I'm very upset about it,
but you know, I'll step away.

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00:21:51,440 --> 00:21:55,200
But here's what's going. Well,
these other people really like me this

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is and try to focus there and
somehow and I don't know how all that

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other and forgive me shit goes away. It just seems to okay, but

331
00:22:03,599 --> 00:22:07,759
it takes. It takes. It
takes. Your podcast, well, I

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00:22:07,880 --> 00:22:10,319
swear all the time. I think
the opening just said we swear a lot

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00:22:10,359 --> 00:22:11,440
more than rating. I think I
swear in the book actually a couple of

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00:22:11,480 --> 00:22:15,960
times. Oh so I in there. I'm just thinking, like, I

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00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:21,400
think that's a great method for everybody, because we can all let something ruin

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our day. And you know,
I used to have this thing with my

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kids when we were when they were
little, and uh, I would always

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00:22:26,240 --> 00:22:30,440
say things like they couldn't find something, like we would find one show not

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00:22:30,519 --> 00:22:33,000
the other. And I remember one
sort of losing my mind and I go,

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00:22:33,039 --> 00:22:34,880
you know what, I always figure
and I held my hands. I

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00:22:34,920 --> 00:22:38,039
got about this much time on the
planet and I don't want to spend it

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00:22:38,079 --> 00:22:41,319
looking for my keys. So you
know what I do. I hang up

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00:22:41,359 --> 00:22:42,799
my keys, you know I do. I put my stuff where I know

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00:22:42,839 --> 00:22:48,680
it's going to be. That kind
of thing. And I think some as

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00:22:48,720 --> 00:22:52,279
simple as some of these methods are, it just makes your It makes your

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00:22:52,359 --> 00:22:53,960
day better. Make I mean,
just think about when you're you can't find

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00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:56,720
your keys, you start to panic. Now you're late, now this and

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00:22:56,759 --> 00:23:00,480
it becomes a momentum and it goes
away. And if you can get out

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00:23:00,519 --> 00:23:06,279
ahead of stuff and also reframe your
thoughts, it's perfect. Because I do

350
00:23:06,440 --> 00:23:07,920
find out. And I don't know
how you feel about this, but I

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00:23:07,920 --> 00:23:12,559
think telling somebody to think positively is
impossible. Oh if if you can't,

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00:23:12,599 --> 00:23:15,279
Yeah, if you calm down too, Like you tell somebody to calm down

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00:23:15,279 --> 00:23:18,799
and they calm down, that's the
first time anyone's ever calmed down being when

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00:23:18,839 --> 00:23:21,920
they were told to calm down in
history, right. And I always think

355
00:23:21,960 --> 00:23:25,799
that you've got to climb the emotional
scale and that anger is better than despair

356
00:23:26,000 --> 00:23:29,599
and even there and you just keep
kind of going up until you start to

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just feel better. And once you
start feeling better, everything goes Wow.

358
00:23:33,799 --> 00:23:36,759
You should come back to Fisher and
go to the graduate program and counseling becoming

359
00:23:36,880 --> 00:23:41,079
you could be a therapist. You
can do that, but it took me

360
00:23:41,119 --> 00:23:45,279
a long time to figure that stuff
out. Now, why don't we take

361
00:23:45,279 --> 00:23:48,519
a moment, because I do have
some questions then about therapy. I'd also

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00:23:48,799 --> 00:23:51,319
like to find out a little bit
more about your background. But when you

363
00:23:51,359 --> 00:23:56,200
say a therapists, did you do
mostly talk therapy with patients primarily? But

364
00:23:57,440 --> 00:24:00,720
yeah, because I work with kids, there's you know, well that's a

365
00:24:00,720 --> 00:24:02,920
little mixed up. Yeah, that's
a little different. Yeah, I think

366
00:24:03,039 --> 00:24:07,599
and family therapy and family therapy,
which I think is also some good stuff.

367
00:24:07,759 --> 00:24:11,720
I have a theory about therapy that
will I will say to you,

368
00:24:11,799 --> 00:24:15,039
I don't know that you're gonna I'm
actually really interested to hear what you have

369
00:24:15,079 --> 00:24:18,359
to say. Well, this isn't
even I don't even think you'd find it

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00:24:18,400 --> 00:24:22,559
defensive. I think it's something that
you probably people may have said before.

371
00:24:22,599 --> 00:24:25,480
But we'll get to that next.
But first, Cobblestone on Maine. You're

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375
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Carlston welcomes back the extremely funny Rich
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Well, I guess that you've got
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00:27:11,039 --> 00:27:18,079
driveway thinking I'm readbound. Hunt.
You know this thing we've got's becomes so

409
00:27:18,400 --> 00:27:25,079
damn this front. Shut up.
You only seem to want me when you're

410
00:27:25,359 --> 00:27:33,119
drunk as come and looking. Boy, get you over that heartbreak. Hunt

411
00:27:33,519 --> 00:27:40,160
this time. Know that dog won't
hunt, cause every time you want all

412
00:27:40,279 --> 00:27:49,720
along, it's all you show up, go home, you drunk. Now

413
00:27:49,799 --> 00:27:53,039
there's a line coming up. I
talked about this song yesterday. I couldn't

414
00:27:53,039 --> 00:27:59,480
remember who sang it. It's Brandy
Clark and I'm tired. So maybe there's

415
00:27:59,480 --> 00:28:07,119
a Cab Morville that you could you
and you Stone's learn say and then I

416
00:28:07,160 --> 00:28:15,200
don't know. No, I really
don't care if. Okay, there it

417
00:28:15,279 --> 00:28:18,119
is. I really don't care if
you're hung. And I'm driving and I'm

418
00:28:18,160 --> 00:28:22,720
listening to, uh, the Margaritaville
station with Jimmy Buffett station, and I'm

419
00:28:22,759 --> 00:28:26,640
hearing this song. It's I.
I guess it came out twenty fifteen something

420
00:28:26,680 --> 00:28:30,799
like that. And I don't know
Brandy Clark from anything, but I go,

421
00:28:30,880 --> 00:28:33,559
a, this song is kind of
funny and it's relatable, I think

422
00:28:33,559 --> 00:28:36,359
for a lot of people. And
then I go, did she say I

423
00:28:36,400 --> 00:28:40,359
don't care that you say you're hung? Thinks? I go, I gotta

424
00:28:40,400 --> 00:28:44,400
go find the song and I couldn't
find it. So last night I was

425
00:28:44,440 --> 00:28:45,839
here late. I go, I'm
gonna find this damn song, and I

426
00:28:45,920 --> 00:28:48,680
found it, and so there it
is, and I'll probably play it again

427
00:28:48,720 --> 00:28:55,000
on the podcast. And it's called
It's Brandy Clark. You're drunk? All

428
00:28:55,079 --> 00:28:57,680
right, You're drunk. So it's
pretty simple. Uh. Did you ever

429
00:28:57,759 --> 00:29:03,119
work with adults in terms of for
first psychotherapy in anyway? It's part of

430
00:29:03,119 --> 00:29:06,680
my doctoral internship. I did some
work with adults. I spent an an

431
00:29:06,799 --> 00:29:10,599
entire internship with adults with traumatic brain
injury. Okay, so you were more

432
00:29:10,680 --> 00:29:15,240
specified in your field. Where did
the PhD come from? You are?

433
00:29:15,319 --> 00:29:18,599
You have are okay? So are
you a Rochester guy? I am?

434
00:29:18,839 --> 00:29:21,519
So you grew up here. I
went to McQuaid, okay, and then

435
00:29:22,240 --> 00:29:23,680
I went to the U of R
for bachelor's, master's and PhD. So

436
00:29:23,720 --> 00:29:27,559
I was at from two thousand or
times sorry, nineteen ninety four to two

437
00:29:27,599 --> 00:29:32,400
thousand and nine. Wow. Yeah, it's like a twenty year run.

438
00:29:32,480 --> 00:29:34,480
It was a while. Yeah,
all on loans. I just got I

439
00:29:34,519 --> 00:29:37,200
was just gonna say, boy,
they they got a nice chunk of change

440
00:29:37,200 --> 00:29:41,759
out of you. Thank God for
the Public Service Loan Forgiveness plan. But

441
00:29:41,880 --> 00:29:45,000
what a great institution, right,
I mean, it's unbelievable. You have

442
00:29:45,039 --> 00:29:52,519
are really And I think sometimes because
of where we are geographically, doesn't that

443
00:29:52,640 --> 00:29:56,200
necessarily get the love it should in
terms of nationally. But maybe I'm wrong.

444
00:29:56,200 --> 00:29:59,240
I don't. Actually I think that
it might be. It might almost

445
00:29:59,279 --> 00:30:03,079
be. The appisde Really. I
think people outside of here I really appreciate

446
00:30:03,119 --> 00:30:06,920
it more than we do here because
of the level of the research and yeah,

447
00:30:07,000 --> 00:30:08,720
and the level of the education there
and say, yeah, I loved

448
00:30:08,720 --> 00:30:11,640
it. I was in a fraternity, I had a bunch of fun.

449
00:30:11,279 --> 00:30:15,160
I made all the mistakes and then
you know, turned it around and did

450
00:30:15,160 --> 00:30:17,880
what I had to do the junior
and senior years so that I could,

451
00:30:17,920 --> 00:30:19,759
you know, get where I am. Yeah, well that's great. So

452
00:30:21,039 --> 00:30:23,079
here's my theory. I said to
you that I had a theory. I

453
00:30:23,160 --> 00:30:30,400
sometimes, and I've done talk therapy
myself, and sometimes when I look at

454
00:30:30,519 --> 00:30:33,039
things and maybe I'm wrong and maybe
I didn't use it necessarily correctly. I

455
00:30:33,039 --> 00:30:40,240
did have one gentleman I really liked
and all, but I sometimes feel like

456
00:30:40,359 --> 00:30:45,240
when we talk about whatever the problem
is, we say stuck in the problem

457
00:30:45,799 --> 00:30:51,200
and not necessarily the solution, and
that sometimes these therapy sessions become bitch sessions,

458
00:30:51,319 --> 00:30:53,279
right, so we're talking about you
know this, that and the other

459
00:30:53,279 --> 00:30:59,400
thing instead of applying some kind of
thing. And that's where I found like

460
00:30:59,440 --> 00:31:02,519
your book, Well, yeah,
this is interesting. You took a kid

461
00:31:03,119 --> 00:31:07,240
just as an example and applied the
video game music theme because that was really

462
00:31:07,279 --> 00:31:11,759
where his interests lied and we're able
to get him to I mean, you

463
00:31:11,839 --> 00:31:15,359
saved his parents. They should give
you what they're saving in the water bill,

464
00:31:15,400 --> 00:31:18,319
you know what I mean? The
kid who took the shower. So

465
00:31:18,359 --> 00:31:21,400
I'm like that kind of stuff happens. But a lot of times, I

466
00:31:21,480 --> 00:31:25,000
think for adults, everyday adults,
we got a lot of stressors. There's

467
00:31:25,039 --> 00:31:30,680
a lot of this stuff that I
think that we wind up almost pitching in

468
00:31:30,759 --> 00:31:33,960
these and not necessarily using it.
And I go, boy, I don't

469
00:31:33,960 --> 00:31:38,680
know how therapists who do this day
after day after day can hear over and

470
00:31:38,720 --> 00:31:41,720
over. It's almost got to become
like Charlie Brown's parents at some point.

471
00:31:41,720 --> 00:31:44,640
Wa wa wah, here we go
again. Yeah, yeah, well,

472
00:31:44,640 --> 00:31:47,240
and I wouldn't be good at that. It's not the type of therapy I

473
00:31:47,440 --> 00:31:51,880
I do. I do what's called
narrative therapy. And that's really you know,

474
00:31:51,759 --> 00:31:55,440
you know that's there's so many different
approaches to psychotherapy, right, and

475
00:31:55,480 --> 00:31:57,279
so you know it's not all one
thing. You know, some people have

476
00:31:57,359 --> 00:32:00,799
more of a problem based approach,
which means, you know, they're interested

477
00:32:00,880 --> 00:32:02,880
in, you know what what caused
the problem? You know, how can

478
00:32:02,880 --> 00:32:07,240
we resolve the problem? Right,
which is you know, insurance companies really

479
00:32:07,279 --> 00:32:09,720
like that, sure, and and
then there's other well you forget that there

480
00:32:09,759 --> 00:32:13,319
is a business model to this too. That's the other side. I mean,

481
00:32:13,480 --> 00:32:15,920
I just popped into my head as
you said it. Now which is

482
00:32:15,000 --> 00:32:20,880
unfortunate and a little bit I mean
in luck, Yeah it is. And

483
00:32:20,920 --> 00:32:22,440
so you know, Pete, there's
workarounds and things like that, and you

484
00:32:22,519 --> 00:32:25,039
write down when you have to write
down for the insurance companies, and yes,

485
00:32:25,160 --> 00:32:29,039
you do what you have to do
for the person. Uh. But

486
00:32:29,039 --> 00:32:31,680
but again the answer to your question
is there's different approaches to the psychotherapy.

487
00:32:31,720 --> 00:32:36,880
I'm a I do what's called narrative
narrative therapy or collaborative therapy, and so

488
00:32:37,559 --> 00:32:40,000
I'm not interested in, uh,
you know, what caused the problem.

489
00:32:40,279 --> 00:32:44,079
We actually don't even talk about the
problem all that much in my sessions.

490
00:32:44,720 --> 00:32:46,640
We're more interested in what's it going
to look like when when it's better?

491
00:32:46,720 --> 00:32:50,680
Right? You know that magic?
I think that's the greatest answer. And

492
00:32:50,720 --> 00:32:52,720
then, uh, what's getting in
the way? You know, that's the

493
00:32:52,759 --> 00:32:54,680
closest we get to talking about the
problem is is you know what's getting in

494
00:32:54,680 --> 00:32:58,279
the way? What's your resistance?
A problem is a constraint, right,

495
00:32:58,319 --> 00:33:00,519
it's not it's a it's a and
uh, you know, and we typically

496
00:33:00,559 --> 00:33:04,480
would then externalize that problem, right. We want the person to see that

497
00:33:04,599 --> 00:33:07,519
is something that's not part of themselves, but something that they can deal with.

498
00:33:07,599 --> 00:33:10,359
And and other people around them can
unite with them to deal with UH.

499
00:33:10,599 --> 00:33:14,599
And then you know it. Really
it's a it's about achieving this two

500
00:33:14,640 --> 00:33:17,799
will pass type attitude. Right.
Yeah. Yeah. I have a friend

501
00:33:17,839 --> 00:33:21,799
who says that all the time,
and it's it's their mom has always said

502
00:33:21,839 --> 00:33:24,039
to them, this two show pass. And even if it's going to pass

503
00:33:24,079 --> 00:33:27,920
like a kidney stone, this two
show pass, right, it will.

504
00:33:28,319 --> 00:33:30,240
Emotions are like stubbing your toe.
You know nothing, you can't think about

505
00:33:30,279 --> 00:33:35,559
anything else in that moment that hurts
like hell, but you know, five

506
00:33:35,559 --> 00:33:38,799
minutes later it's gone and right.
And emotions are essentially the same way.

507
00:33:38,839 --> 00:33:45,559
And I've had a chance to do
some really amazing work with an Indian healer,

508
00:33:45,039 --> 00:33:49,000
doctor deep from from India over the
past year. I met him at

509
00:33:49,000 --> 00:33:52,799
a Harvard conference last summer, and
he asked me when he came to visit

510
00:33:52,799 --> 00:33:57,279
Saint John Fisher in November, what's
one thing you can say to me that

511
00:33:57,279 --> 00:34:00,480
would make me happy when I'm sad
or sad when I'm happy. Uh.

512
00:34:00,519 --> 00:34:02,680
And actually, at the time,
we were meeting with some of my mentors

513
00:34:02,720 --> 00:34:07,880
and we all took a guess at
what that could be, and we were

514
00:34:07,920 --> 00:34:09,639
all wrong, he said, He
said, this too will pass, right

515
00:34:09,639 --> 00:34:13,679
if it's if I'm you know,
happy, and I think to myself,

516
00:34:14,039 --> 00:34:19,360
will pass if I'm sad then right
and uh and so yeah, I think

517
00:34:19,360 --> 00:34:23,159
it's more, you know, in
my opinion and and other people who practice

518
00:34:23,199 --> 00:34:28,440
the type of therapy that I practice, it's more about achieving an attitude towards

519
00:34:28,519 --> 00:34:32,760
life and an attitude towards you know, how to to go through life and

520
00:34:32,800 --> 00:34:37,199
achieve your goals, as opposed to
you know, how can I solve all

521
00:34:37,199 --> 00:34:38,800
these problems? And why? Why
is? Why is my life the way

522
00:34:38,840 --> 00:34:43,480
it is? Okay? So,
as you're saying this, I always and

523
00:34:43,559 --> 00:34:46,679
I have three sons, and there's
always something happened. I used to when

524
00:34:46,679 --> 00:34:51,199
they were grown up by Jay Crew, the Jay Crew. I used to

525
00:34:51,280 --> 00:34:53,519
always, uh joke that it was
like living in a frat house because someone

526
00:34:53,639 --> 00:34:58,280
was always walking around without a shirt
on. Someone was probably throwing up,

527
00:34:58,280 --> 00:35:05,039
and someone was breaking something. Right, it was. And I say to

528
00:35:05,119 --> 00:35:07,679
my sons who are older now,
my older ones are twenty two and twenty

529
00:35:07,679 --> 00:35:13,119
one, and in particular the twenty
one year old, and I'll always say,

530
00:35:13,599 --> 00:35:16,360
uh, sort of along those lines. Life is never gonna stop coming

531
00:35:16,400 --> 00:35:21,239
at you. Let it happen.
But but what you have to do is

532
00:35:21,280 --> 00:35:25,159
get yourself so you just feel good
all the time. So even when you're

533
00:35:25,199 --> 00:35:28,800
doing it and I and that's what
I kept thinking, Like, as you're

534
00:35:28,840 --> 00:35:31,880
doing the music with the kid in
the shower, the problem is that he's

535
00:35:31,920 --> 00:35:35,599
in there forever and like I said, there can be I mean, long

536
00:35:35,599 --> 00:35:38,639
showers are wonderful, but if you're
not fully tiled and you've got drywall on

537
00:35:38,679 --> 00:35:42,119
there and stuff, you're gonna have
some problems after a while, you know

538
00:35:42,119 --> 00:35:45,000
what I mean, especially problems.
Yeah, no proper ventilation. I mean,

539
00:35:45,360 --> 00:35:49,920
like it's not industrial ventilation. You
go to a gym that, yeah,

540
00:35:50,000 --> 00:35:52,639
you could be in there for an
hour and no no real damage.

541
00:35:52,760 --> 00:35:55,199
But you do it at home and
it starts to You'll see if you have

542
00:35:55,239 --> 00:36:00,480
wallpaper and there, it'll start peeling
in the corners and it starts a crack.

543
00:36:00,719 --> 00:36:04,360
So now you've got this kid,
though, who you're making it better

544
00:36:04,400 --> 00:36:07,360
because you've turned it into something that
he could relate to and be a game.

545
00:36:07,760 --> 00:36:12,000
Well what changed and the parents aren't
coming at him anymore. They got

546
00:36:12,039 --> 00:36:15,440
the goal they wanted. It's the
same thing I think for adults in life,

547
00:36:15,719 --> 00:36:17,760
life's going to keep coming at you. It's kind of how you react

548
00:36:17,800 --> 00:36:22,840
to it. And I think most
life has lived in our head for sure.

549
00:36:22,920 --> 00:36:27,079
Yeah. Actually, that same kid, he had a job at I

550
00:36:27,159 --> 00:36:30,239
saw, yeah convent, right convent
which Wegman's runs. Okay, I didn't,

551
00:36:30,239 --> 00:36:34,039
which I didn't realize there was such
a thing, but there's this Wegman's

552
00:36:34,079 --> 00:36:37,280
run convent supposedly, and uh,
you know, he worked in the cafeteria

553
00:36:37,440 --> 00:36:40,920
picking up plates after the nuns,
and he hated it because every time he'd

554
00:36:40,920 --> 00:36:44,199
go and he'd pick up a plate, he'd bring it back to the washer

555
00:36:44,280 --> 00:36:45,719
and then new more nuns would come
in and they'd fill it up again.

556
00:36:45,760 --> 00:36:50,079
And it just felt tedious and unfulfilling
because he never felt you know, it

557
00:36:50,119 --> 00:36:52,320
was just getting you know, it's
the opposite of mowing your lawn. Right

558
00:36:52,360 --> 00:36:55,039
as you mow your lawn, the
lawn grows, you know, behind you

559
00:36:55,079 --> 00:36:59,400
immediately. And uh. And so
he decided he was going to turn that

560
00:36:59,440 --> 00:37:02,280
into a game of man, and
the nuns were going to be ghosts and

561
00:37:02,440 --> 00:37:07,199
the plates were gonna be pellets.
Uh, and that he had we came

562
00:37:07,280 --> 00:37:08,800
up with all these rules where you
know, if he touched a nun,

563
00:37:08,920 --> 00:37:13,239
then you know he had to go
back to the start and uh, you

564
00:37:13,239 --> 00:37:15,320
know, if he got there were
certain types of plates that that gave him

565
00:37:15,360 --> 00:37:19,039
special powers where he could go and
he could you know, chat with the

566
00:37:19,119 --> 00:37:22,679
nuns during that time and he could
uh and and ever since that point he

567
00:37:22,880 --> 00:37:27,719
uh became employee of the month,
felt great about himself. Or really it

568
00:37:27,800 --> 00:37:30,159
was just a different way of looking
at things in his mind. As you

569
00:37:30,159 --> 00:37:32,440
were saying, well, I think
like you go to a party and uh,

570
00:37:32,480 --> 00:37:35,760
you know, you could go in
there and leave and go. Man,

571
00:37:35,920 --> 00:37:39,079
that was a wild party. Man. People were swimming naked in the

572
00:37:39,119 --> 00:37:42,679
pool and all this, and I
could be at the same part and go,

573
00:37:42,760 --> 00:37:45,599
Man, that sucked. These people
were idiots, they were drunk,

574
00:37:45,639 --> 00:37:49,360
they were obnoxious. This one was
jumping into pool, took us clothes off.

575
00:37:49,519 --> 00:37:52,280
Right, It's the same thing.
Two different perspectives. And I think

576
00:37:52,320 --> 00:37:55,800
a lot of times we we live
up in our head. And and also

577
00:37:57,440 --> 00:38:00,880
you know, to your idea with
with the Indian Healer of this two show

578
00:38:00,880 --> 00:38:05,360
pass and this two show pass,
I've often said, and I don't like

579
00:38:05,519 --> 00:38:07,960
this thought, but it's sort of
real. Things are never as good as

580
00:38:07,000 --> 00:38:09,000
you think. They are, and
they're never as bad as you think they

581
00:38:09,039 --> 00:38:13,199
are. They're somewhere in the middle, and it's like a Bill season.

582
00:38:13,320 --> 00:38:21,519
Yeah man, yeah right, exactly
so, and that's where I you know,

583
00:38:21,639 --> 00:38:24,599
so, I sometimes think with the
talk therapy was you felt like you

584
00:38:24,760 --> 00:38:29,519
just kept repeating the problem. And
when your mind is stuck in the problem

585
00:38:29,559 --> 00:38:31,679
and you're talking about it over and
over and over again, you don't get

586
00:38:31,719 --> 00:38:37,039
out of it necessarily. Where if
I like the idea of applying something to

587
00:38:37,800 --> 00:38:42,000
where you you know what I'm saying, like you think this way or change

588
00:38:42,039 --> 00:38:45,760
the thought, or could you look
at it from this perspective and will that

589
00:38:45,800 --> 00:38:47,639
be a little bit better? Or
Okay, that's not going well? What

590
00:38:47,800 --> 00:38:52,880
is going well? You know,
because if you have four things going well

591
00:38:52,920 --> 00:38:54,920
and one thing that isn't going very
well, and you focus on what's not

592
00:38:54,960 --> 00:38:59,760
going well. I'm a big believer
in energy and stuff, everything starts to

593
00:38:59,760 --> 00:39:01,960
fall the ship. But if you
focus on everything that's going well over here,

594
00:39:02,800 --> 00:39:07,920
somehow that too comes along because you
just have a different approach. It's

595
00:39:07,920 --> 00:39:10,519
almost like an athlete being in the
zone, right an athlete in the zone,

596
00:39:10,800 --> 00:39:13,559
you know, I mean, there
was a great there was a game

597
00:39:13,639 --> 00:39:16,039
last night, I think it was. It was Houston and I don't know

598
00:39:16,039 --> 00:39:22,280
who they were playing, and they
were Houston was down. I think it

599
00:39:22,320 --> 00:39:27,440
was six to three. There were
twice, or at least once in this

600
00:39:27,679 --> 00:39:31,599
long at bat where I think there
was bases loaded, two outs, full

601
00:39:31,679 --> 00:39:37,679
count. The guy hits the ball, it goes back into the catcher's glove.

602
00:39:37,719 --> 00:39:39,159
He squeezes too hard and the ball
pops out. Would have been an

603
00:39:39,159 --> 00:39:43,239
owl, would have been an oul. It's not next pitch, Grand Slam.

604
00:39:43,320 --> 00:39:45,480
They win the game. Right,
So you're in that zone, right,

605
00:39:45,719 --> 00:39:47,840
everybody wants to be that guy.
We were all that guy in our

606
00:39:47,880 --> 00:39:52,320
backyard. But that guy has to
be on cloud nine today, right,

607
00:39:52,519 --> 00:39:55,960
But had he gotten out and the
same at bat, he wouldn't probably be.

608
00:39:57,280 --> 00:40:00,280
You gotta go to try to be
on cloud nine as much as you

609
00:40:00,320 --> 00:40:02,440
can because everything will start going.
Well. Yeah, it's just my theory

610
00:40:02,440 --> 00:40:06,119
on things. It's not a theory. It's me that's backed up by research.

611
00:40:06,159 --> 00:40:08,119
So again, and I encourage you
to maybe consider becoming a therapist because

612
00:40:08,119 --> 00:40:12,639
you're doing a great job. I
don't want to do that. Yeah,

613
00:40:12,760 --> 00:40:15,239
I wouldn't mind doing the skills.
And then yes, you can therapize people.

614
00:40:15,480 --> 00:40:19,599
You know what, Honestly, I
wouldn't mind that. I've often thought,

615
00:40:19,760 --> 00:40:22,239
here's the thing, like, I, okay, here, here's a

616
00:40:22,280 --> 00:40:24,599
great one. Us talk about this. This stuck of the problem, and

617
00:40:24,599 --> 00:40:29,159
it just popped into my head when
you're talking about this. I always wanted

618
00:40:29,159 --> 00:40:32,119
to be on the radio as a
kid. I bought FM wireless microphones.

619
00:40:32,159 --> 00:40:35,519
But none of my friends were into
this, so I kept it secret,

620
00:40:35,639 --> 00:40:37,679
like I didn't tell any of my
buddies. But I would broadcast my sister

621
00:40:37,719 --> 00:40:40,360
brother and sister. I would take
commercials off the radio. I had two

622
00:40:40,360 --> 00:40:44,599
microphones, so I had one.
I would play music and I would do

623
00:40:44,639 --> 00:40:45,599
all this stuff, and then I'd
run upstairs and go, did you hear

624
00:40:45,639 --> 00:40:49,079
me? Do you hear me on
the radio? Well? Then I get

625
00:40:49,119 --> 00:40:52,480
on the radio and I'm nineteen and
I'm doing overnights, and I was doing

626
00:40:52,480 --> 00:40:55,760
it, supposed to do it just
for the summer. It was in between

627
00:40:55,800 --> 00:40:59,400
my junior and senior year at Fisher, and I wound up taking the year

628
00:40:59,480 --> 00:41:05,320
off and staying on overnight's midnight to
six on this FM station. And I

629
00:41:05,440 --> 00:41:09,719
realized quickly that I got bored.
I got really bored doing just the music.

630
00:41:09,800 --> 00:41:14,400
Like after a while, so I
started doing things like who's up in

631
00:41:14,400 --> 00:41:16,480
why at three o'clock in the morning, and I would take calls and there

632
00:41:16,519 --> 00:41:20,960
was always this one guy and he
would call all the time for almost six

633
00:41:21,039 --> 00:41:23,400
months straight about how his girlfriend broke
up with him, he can't sleep,

634
00:41:23,639 --> 00:41:28,519
blah blah blah and all this stuff. And I remember thinking like, how

635
00:41:28,519 --> 00:41:31,679
do you help this guy? And
how do I make it interesting? Because

636
00:41:32,119 --> 00:41:37,480
it was the same thing almost night
after night after night, And I remember

637
00:41:37,480 --> 00:41:39,440
once I was it was awful,
but I was nineteen that thought it was

638
00:41:39,519 --> 00:41:43,440
funny. I played Everybody's hurt because
you would take the phone calls and then

639
00:41:43,480 --> 00:41:47,239
playing better. So I played everybody
hurts underneath them yep. And then so

640
00:41:47,280 --> 00:41:52,760
that's playing, and then right in
the middle of the conversation a gunshot and

641
00:41:52,519 --> 00:41:57,000
then a dial tone. You're kidding
me. Well, he didn't do it.

642
00:41:57,159 --> 00:42:02,679
I did it, so yeah,
so you see, I can't be

643
00:42:02,719 --> 00:42:07,400
a therapist. So but no,
he was fine. Well he never called

644
00:42:07,440 --> 00:42:10,079
again after that, really, I
don't think. But in that idea of

645
00:42:10,440 --> 00:42:14,440
there was always a piece of me, like I hate to admit this,

646
00:42:14,519 --> 00:42:17,880
but I've been told by many people
I am very sensitive, you know what

647
00:42:17,960 --> 00:42:22,000
I mean, I am. I
did as I did for years because I

648
00:42:22,000 --> 00:42:25,199
think it was always like okay,
but here we go. Here it comes

649
00:42:25,360 --> 00:42:30,320
really deep psychologic psychological stuff that I've
realized about myself over the years. Uh,

650
00:42:30,519 --> 00:42:35,320
low self esteem all my life,
low self esteem felt like I was

651
00:42:35,320 --> 00:42:37,440
always in trouble, and probably for
a good reason, but I was always

652
00:42:37,519 --> 00:42:40,280
kind of on the edge. And
I think that I was always under suspicion,

653
00:42:40,360 --> 00:42:45,079
even for shit that I didn't do. But and that was like as

654
00:42:45,119 --> 00:42:49,960
a kid grown up, school was
okay, I didn't you know, I

655
00:42:49,960 --> 00:42:52,079
didn't do badly. I just I
mean, if I showed up, I

656
00:42:52,199 --> 00:42:55,280
was probably going to get an eighty
five. Right. That was about about

657
00:42:55,360 --> 00:42:59,280
my thing without doing much work.
I don't think I ever did all work

658
00:43:00,039 --> 00:43:05,559
to anything throughout high school and stuff. And then I get to I was

659
00:43:05,599 --> 00:43:07,800
going to go to college, and
the only thing I really had were some

660
00:43:07,840 --> 00:43:12,199
decent essay T scores because then some
of my grades had kind of fallen off

661
00:43:12,239 --> 00:43:14,599
and this and that, and so
my old man's like, look, you

662
00:43:14,679 --> 00:43:16,480
get one shot on my dime.
Well, everywhere I applied to I got

663
00:43:16,519 --> 00:43:21,639
in, but I got in under
the Austin the idea that you would take

664
00:43:21,760 --> 00:43:27,199
a summer class to prove that you
could handle college level work. My father's

665
00:43:27,280 --> 00:43:30,039
like, you are going to drink
your way out. So there was always

666
00:43:30,079 --> 00:43:32,400
that theory, right, you had
that in your head of you. So

667
00:43:32,719 --> 00:43:36,719
what I and then as a child, and I've talked about this a lot

668
00:43:36,760 --> 00:43:38,400
on the radio over the years and
stuff too, I was molested and that

669
00:43:38,519 --> 00:43:43,360
was I didn't realize how much that
really kind of man, I can fuck

670
00:43:43,400 --> 00:43:49,280
you up in many many ways.
And so what I found was people used

671
00:43:49,280 --> 00:43:51,679
to say to me on something,
you go into TV, TV TV,

672
00:43:52,079 --> 00:43:55,360
and I thought TV would be cool. But I was like one, I

673
00:43:55,440 --> 00:44:00,360
was self conscious about my looks and
I was also I didn't like the idea

674
00:44:00,400 --> 00:44:05,400
that people could actually see me,
and I liked in radio that I didn't

675
00:44:05,519 --> 00:44:07,719
at least when I began. I
could be anybody I wanted to be.

676
00:44:07,920 --> 00:44:10,119
I could be the coolest guy in
the world. I could say shit that

677
00:44:10,119 --> 00:44:13,960
I probably wouldn't say in person.
I could do that kind of thing.

678
00:44:13,960 --> 00:44:15,360
So it was almost like you were
able to hide. You could put on

679
00:44:15,400 --> 00:44:20,320
your superhero costume. Same reason why
people become furries. Yeah, yes,

680
00:44:20,519 --> 00:44:22,760
yeah, I know which sounds so
weird. Right, that's a great analogy

681
00:44:22,760 --> 00:44:24,639
because we all look at those people
go, what the fuck did you?

682
00:44:24,679 --> 00:44:29,480
I mean, I think there was
a guy recently that spent fourteen thousand dollars

683
00:44:29,639 --> 00:44:34,840
to have a complete costume, so
he looks like Lassie, I'm sure.

684
00:44:34,880 --> 00:44:37,880
And it was on the New York
Post. Just came from my My daughter's

685
00:44:37,960 --> 00:44:40,000
hockey team was in the National Championship
game in California, and we were coming

686
00:44:40,000 --> 00:44:45,519
back from California and someone came through
security with their full furry costume. They

687
00:44:45,519 --> 00:44:50,239
didn't make him take his head off. He came through security with his head

688
00:44:50,280 --> 00:44:52,800
and I show you not it was
real. I got a picture with him

689
00:44:52,840 --> 00:44:55,800
in the airport. That's funny.
Yeah, that's very funny. Not a

690
00:44:55,840 --> 00:45:00,880
mascot. This, this is a
full head this this guy, this is

691
00:45:00,000 --> 00:45:04,000
this is this is what he did. He identified as a wolf. Okay,

692
00:45:04,079 --> 00:45:07,800
yeah, all right, yeah whatever. I mean. The other thing

693
00:45:07,880 --> 00:45:09,440
is like whatever gets you through the
day. Yeah, yeah, you know,

694
00:45:09,559 --> 00:45:12,440
I mean that well, yeah,
I mean to get back to what

695
00:45:12,440 --> 00:45:15,239
you were saying before, you know, that was before I forget. You

696
00:45:15,280 --> 00:45:17,360
really can train yourself to think this
way, right, I mean, for

697
00:45:17,639 --> 00:45:22,119
you know, fifteen years now,
I've been doing three gratitudes a day,

698
00:45:22,199 --> 00:45:23,719
right, three three things that I'm
grateful for. And then when I first

699
00:45:23,719 --> 00:45:27,599
started, it was really hard,
and it's always just simple stuff. You

700
00:45:27,599 --> 00:45:29,599
know, pants, I don't need
to iron, you know, clean water,

701
00:45:29,800 --> 00:45:30,679
yes, whatever. Yes, you
know, when you're doing it,

702
00:45:30,719 --> 00:45:34,760
you're scanning your environment for things you're
grateful for. And if you do that,

703
00:45:34,800 --> 00:45:37,719
I mean you do that for you
know, a month straight, and

704
00:45:37,760 --> 00:45:40,719
I promise you that you will start
scanning your environment for things that you're grateful

705
00:45:40,760 --> 00:45:45,159
for when you're not even trying.
Yes, right, It's almost like,

706
00:45:45,519 --> 00:45:50,079
uh, what's the thing they'll do
some of these conferences and things, you

707
00:45:50,079 --> 00:45:52,760
know, Uh, look around the
room and find everything that's green, yeah,

708
00:45:52,840 --> 00:45:57,719
right, grounding yourself yea, or
or imagine everything and then and then

709
00:45:57,719 --> 00:46:00,800
they have you close your eyes and
now find everything that's brown. Well you

710
00:46:00,840 --> 00:46:02,760
can't, you know, you're finding
everything on screen? Or do you buy

711
00:46:02,760 --> 00:46:07,039
a car of a certain color and
now you see every car that color?

712
00:46:07,119 --> 00:46:09,079
There's there are more cars that colored. No, there's Actually there's a video

713
00:46:09,159 --> 00:46:15,199
game for depression that I prescribed to
my clients with depression where it's a grid.

714
00:46:15,239 --> 00:46:17,800
It's called psych me up. And
it's a grid that has like twelve

715
00:46:17,840 --> 00:46:22,480
faces on it and they're all making
different facial expressions and there's one smiling face

716
00:46:22,920 --> 00:46:24,840
and you've got to find the smiling
face and touch it. And you go

717
00:46:24,920 --> 00:46:28,679
through you know a series of like
you know, ten of these grids,

718
00:46:28,679 --> 00:46:30,400
and the goals to get as fast
as you can at finding the smiling face

719
00:46:30,440 --> 00:46:35,360
and touching it. And the clients, why I prescribe this to who actually

720
00:46:35,400 --> 00:46:37,039
do it, come back and say
that they're you know, they they're noticing

721
00:46:37,079 --> 00:46:42,159
themselves, you know, seeing things. Yeah, yeah, that's really interesting

722
00:46:42,280 --> 00:46:45,639
because it is. It's it's pretty
much in our head. And that was

723
00:46:45,679 --> 00:46:47,599
the thing with radio for me.
And then as I got older and I

724
00:46:47,639 --> 00:46:52,440
you know, were around more people
who are authentic, uh, And I

725
00:46:52,440 --> 00:46:55,480
would even say, you know,
Weeze in particular was very authentic that you

726
00:46:55,480 --> 00:46:58,960
went, well, that's the way
you want to be. You want to

727
00:46:59,000 --> 00:47:02,679
be just who y'all are, and
it it'll work and it somehow. I

728
00:47:02,719 --> 00:47:07,400
mean that that's kind of how I
fell into that. And now now here

729
00:47:07,400 --> 00:47:09,760
we are with cameras and all the
ship that I was avoiding anyway, So

730
00:47:09,800 --> 00:47:14,760
it doesn't I think that a lot
of that stuff goes in your head.

731
00:47:14,760 --> 00:47:16,800
But that was how I, uh, the radio thing was for me.

732
00:47:16,840 --> 00:47:21,400
It was more to hide and I
liked being somebody I wasn't. I felt

733
00:47:21,440 --> 00:47:24,199
more comfortable with trying to not I
didn't like me and like being me.

734
00:47:24,519 --> 00:47:30,880
And that happened between the time of
two and four years old is when is

735
00:47:30,920 --> 00:47:34,239
when most of that happened, and
when most of you know that, you

736
00:47:34,280 --> 00:47:37,519
know, lack of self confidence in
those things, really, and that's when

737
00:47:37,519 --> 00:47:40,679
you're developing your template for human interactions. You're your you your way of dealing

738
00:47:40,679 --> 00:47:45,039
with the world. And uh,
you know all of our parents do their

739
00:47:45,039 --> 00:47:47,239
best. Yes, no, And
I agree with that too, because you

740
00:47:47,280 --> 00:47:51,639
could go back and I'm sure the
whole idea of your mother and your mother,

741
00:47:51,920 --> 00:47:53,000
but they are the voices in your
head. I think that that.

742
00:47:53,480 --> 00:47:59,159
I've read a book once that said, uh, men should act as though

743
00:47:59,199 --> 00:48:02,639
their father were dead and not to
be mean under staying. But there's a

744
00:48:02,679 --> 00:48:07,559
lot of things. That's the leading
figure in your life, the probably the

745
00:48:07,599 --> 00:48:10,559
person who would approve or disapprove most
of what you do. And so therefore,

746
00:48:10,639 --> 00:48:14,639
what would you do if he weren't
around? Would you be freer to

747
00:48:14,679 --> 00:48:16,719
do this, would you be free
to do that? And I can say

748
00:48:16,880 --> 00:48:21,199
there were certain things that certainly now
my dad was never a huge fan of

749
00:48:21,239 --> 00:48:23,639
this stuff. But I also had
a big I don't care attitude too,

750
00:48:23,719 --> 00:48:27,360
and I'm just gonna go do it. So there was that. But I

751
00:48:27,400 --> 00:48:29,719
think when it comes to like writing, like I've always wanted to write a

752
00:48:29,719 --> 00:48:34,280
book, my dad was a brilliant
He is a brilliant guy, and I

753
00:48:34,320 --> 00:48:37,920
think that would often tell me I
didn't have a command of the English language.

754
00:48:37,159 --> 00:48:40,320
And then I had three clunkers in
a row in my elementary school and

755
00:48:40,360 --> 00:48:44,440
I never learned how to really structures
in my ideas were good, but I

756
00:48:44,480 --> 00:48:46,840
couldn't write. I never wrote.
That was it. And I remember that

757
00:48:46,880 --> 00:48:51,960
I wound up. You had to
take an English placement test in college,

758
00:48:52,000 --> 00:48:53,480
and I'm like, I'll never do
this. I don't think I finished the

759
00:48:53,480 --> 00:48:57,599
test. I was like, it
doesn't matter. So I wind up in

760
00:48:57,679 --> 00:49:01,440
the like this ridiculously whatever class and
they had you write something. And this

761
00:49:01,480 --> 00:49:06,119
woman pulls me aside and goes,
honey, you don't belong here, and

762
00:49:06,199 --> 00:49:07,920
I said, what do you mean? She goes, well, first of

763
00:49:07,920 --> 00:49:09,159
all, I want you to read
what you wrote in front of the class.

764
00:49:09,199 --> 00:49:14,599
She goes, it's so great and
rich and it paints a picture and

765
00:49:14,599 --> 00:49:16,039
she goes and then we're going to
move you out here. And I was

766
00:49:16,119 --> 00:49:20,480
like, okay, so you know
what I'm saying, Like, but all

767
00:49:20,519 --> 00:49:23,440
that that whole idea of you're an
idiot, you can you know? And

768
00:49:24,679 --> 00:49:29,400
I feel bad because I don't think
that was what he was trying to say.

769
00:49:29,639 --> 00:49:32,039
Yeah, I think it was let
me help you. And what I

770
00:49:32,079 --> 00:49:36,559
heard was you suck? Do you
know what I'm saying? I hear it.

771
00:49:36,599 --> 00:49:37,599
I had a great example of a
client I just saw a couple of

772
00:49:37,599 --> 00:49:42,239
weeks ago. We were walking through
the hallways. So I have a private

773
00:49:42,239 --> 00:49:45,360
practice, mind Fit Mental Health in
East Rochester. We do a lot of

774
00:49:45,760 --> 00:49:49,039
integrating games in therapy and I was
walking a client up and down the hall

775
00:49:49,360 --> 00:49:52,719
and this particular client obsesses over whether
or not he's doing things right constantly.

776
00:49:52,719 --> 00:49:54,679
You know, Am I making the
right decision? Now? I'm I'm making

777
00:49:54,679 --> 00:49:59,320
the right Like almost every thought is
you know, followed by is that the

778
00:49:59,360 --> 00:50:01,840
right thought to have? Okay?
Right? And uh, You've been seeing

779
00:50:01,920 --> 00:50:05,679
him for several months and we're walking
down the hall and all of a sudden,

780
00:50:05,719 --> 00:50:08,280
I asked him, what do you
think was different when you were you

781
00:50:08,320 --> 00:50:10,599
know, when you were younger.
I forget what question I asked him,

782
00:50:10,599 --> 00:50:15,960
but he like stopped in his tracks
and said, because I have autism,

783
00:50:15,000 --> 00:50:19,800
everyone's been telling me what I Everyone's
been looking over my shoulder in my whole

784
00:50:19,840 --> 00:50:22,119
life, and I never know if
I'm doing things the right way. Yeah,

785
00:50:22,199 --> 00:50:24,199
right, And it was just starts
a second guess yourself on everything.

786
00:50:24,239 --> 00:50:29,599
It was this like aha moment where, of course, like this, this

787
00:50:29,039 --> 00:50:31,159
is this guy at this point,
he's twenty three years old, I think,

788
00:50:31,519 --> 00:50:36,639
and he's been an entire life of
people looking over his shoulder making a

789
00:50:36,800 --> 00:50:39,280
well meaning right. They want to
make sure and they want to make sure

790
00:50:39,360 --> 00:50:44,239
that he's you know, fitting in. But but it has, you know,

791
00:50:44,400 --> 00:50:45,840
all the guidance that they're giving him
is you're doing this wrong, You

792
00:50:45,840 --> 00:50:49,000
got to do it this way,
You're not good at this. Let me

793
00:50:49,480 --> 00:50:52,920
let let's just take a quick break
here. When we come back. I

794
00:50:52,920 --> 00:50:55,840
want to kind of jump off that
because I have a theory that I think

795
00:50:57,199 --> 00:51:01,159
really applies to everybody, and when
people kind of look at me sideways on

796
00:51:01,199 --> 00:51:05,320
it, I go back to the
Bible for an example, because I always

797
00:51:05,360 --> 00:51:08,960
think that that sometimes for people is
like a good base, right, but

798
00:51:09,440 --> 00:51:14,239
to almost what you're saying where you
know, and we will get to that

799
00:51:14,280 --> 00:51:17,239
next. But first, Iron Smoke
Distillery in Fairport, New York. Baby,

800
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801
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802
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yeah, a matter of fact,
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803
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Kentucky according to Forbes magazine. Don't
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804
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what an incredible honor. Right,
that is pretty cool. I want to

805
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take a tour, get a tasting
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806
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Ironsmoke Distillery dot com. You can
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807
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is playing and they do southern rock, blues, rock, country. They

808
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got it all. Friday night in
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809
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video ads tribute. The place is
always packed. They suggest you get their

810
00:51:55,000 --> 00:51:59,400
little early whole lot of fun with
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811
00:51:59,400 --> 00:52:04,440
ELO's Academy see some rising stars.
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812
00:52:04,599 --> 00:52:07,159
all these talented kids. That's August
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813
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Iron Smoke Distillery in Fairport, New
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814
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this week. Tuesday get two tickets
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815
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park in the Park night. Thursday features

816
00:52:19,719 --> 00:52:22,079
a miload of backdog baseball card giveaway
at a happy hour. With two dollars

817
00:52:22,119 --> 00:52:27,639
beers or tickets. Visit Red Wings
Baseball dot Com. Jimmy's E's Plates and

818
00:52:27,800 --> 00:52:30,800
Shakes in Procport, right on Main
Street. You know, summer isn't over

819
00:52:30,920 --> 00:52:35,519
yet, and maybe you got one
more big bash in you. Maybe you

820
00:52:35,599 --> 00:52:37,920
got a couple more big parties.
And yeah, I have no idea,

821
00:52:37,239 --> 00:52:40,519
but Jimmy's E's Plates and Shakes can
certainly help. They can bring the food

822
00:52:40,519 --> 00:52:44,079
truck out. How do you get
the food truck to come out to whatever

823
00:52:44,119 --> 00:52:46,599
you're having? Be a corporate picnic
and then the summer banger. You go

824
00:52:46,639 --> 00:52:50,519
to Plates and Shakes dot Com.
All the informations right there. Maybe you

825
00:52:50,559 --> 00:52:52,800
want some catering. A lot of
people have their weddings catered. Maybe a

826
00:52:52,800 --> 00:52:57,719
little after party, maybe a pre
party. I don't they'll do drop off

827
00:52:57,840 --> 00:53:01,760
or pick up catering again. The
information poppy handles all that at Plates and

828
00:53:01,800 --> 00:53:07,360
Shakes dot Com. Jimmy Z's Plates
and Shakes find menu items, how to

829
00:53:07,360 --> 00:53:09,519
get the food truck, how to
do the drop off or pickup catering at

830
00:53:09,559 --> 00:53:39,920
Plates and Shakes dot Com. What
the song comes over the stall your cup

831
00:53:40,000 --> 00:53:49,559
out copy? Yup? Got dude
the kitchen floor left, see your spot

832
00:53:49,559 --> 00:54:07,360
eyes started doll at Ris says,
wells rule slightly dumps. You gotta keep

833
00:54:07,400 --> 00:54:14,960
it just like I always love.
This song is a live version of John

834
00:54:15,039 --> 00:54:17,000
Hyatt and the Gonners here, but
John Hyatt wrote it. I love John

835
00:54:17,079 --> 00:54:21,679
Hyatt and the song is your dad
did, and it's basically all the shit

836
00:54:21,760 --> 00:54:25,480
you realize that your dad went through. And in that example there, you

837
00:54:25,480 --> 00:54:29,320
know you're getting ready. You gotta
go sell door to door. You don't

838
00:54:29,320 --> 00:54:30,519
really want to, but that's your
job and you gotta do it for the

839
00:54:30,599 --> 00:54:34,519
kids. And now your daughter just
dumped their own meal on your kid's head.

840
00:54:34,840 --> 00:54:37,880
And ships did flying everywhere, and
it is funny, and I think

841
00:54:37,920 --> 00:54:42,199
a lot of times it takes life
perspective to kind of show you. And

842
00:54:42,239 --> 00:54:45,559
I thought what you said a little
while ago was everybody did the best they

843
00:54:45,559 --> 00:54:49,880
could. Yeah, And I think
if you keep that in mind, there's

844
00:54:49,960 --> 00:54:54,039
less blame at some point. I'm
a big believer that everything that happens to

845
00:54:54,079 --> 00:54:59,400
you is your fault. And I
know people get really weird about that.

846
00:54:59,440 --> 00:55:02,239
And there is that I don't remember
if the secret came out a number of

847
00:55:02,199 --> 00:55:07,400
familiar Yeah, and so the whole
idea there is basically that everything has come,

848
00:55:07,559 --> 00:55:12,559
that you've attracted everything. And so
people will say and got very upset.

849
00:55:12,679 --> 00:55:15,559
And since you work with children on
the autism spectrum, well, how

850
00:55:15,599 --> 00:55:17,559
did I bring this? How could
you say that I would never want this

851
00:55:17,639 --> 00:55:22,360
for my child? And there are
people and I'll call them teachers, that

852
00:55:22,480 --> 00:55:28,719
say, yeah, but what you
you're you're learning something from them, like

853
00:55:29,079 --> 00:55:34,719
you're learning unconditional love. Unconditional love
is a wonderful thing that gets thrown around

854
00:55:34,719 --> 00:55:37,880
a lot. I don't know that
human beings are capable of unconditional love.

855
00:55:38,400 --> 00:55:43,679
And yet some people who are on
the autism spectrum disorder or on the autism

856
00:55:43,679 --> 00:55:47,239
spectrum, excuse me, probably are
capable of unconditional love almost, you know

857
00:55:47,280 --> 00:55:50,920
what I mean? Like you just
and there are things that you can learn,

858
00:55:50,960 --> 00:55:53,159
and maybe that's why I don't know. Maybe they're here to teach that.

859
00:55:53,239 --> 00:55:57,719
I have no idea. But there's
there's a book that says, and

860
00:55:57,840 --> 00:56:00,800
by no means comparing a person to
a dog. But right, there's a

861
00:56:00,840 --> 00:56:05,000
book that suggests that I forget who
wrote it. I think it's a it's

862
00:56:05,039 --> 00:56:10,039
a river of consciousness that a dog
has a lower level of consciousness than humans

863
00:56:10,079 --> 00:56:14,960
because dogs don't recognize themselves in the
mirror. Right, And I would argue

864
00:56:15,000 --> 00:56:17,440
the opposite. I would say dogs
have a higher level of consciousness than humans

865
00:56:17,480 --> 00:56:21,280
because they don't recognize themselves in the
area. Because it's not about themselves,

866
00:56:21,280 --> 00:56:23,559
it's about everybody around them. It's
about their connections to everything around them.

867
00:56:23,559 --> 00:56:27,519
They you know, they are you
know. It's you know, getting back

868
00:56:27,519 --> 00:56:30,960
to unconditional love. Right, it's
about I was thinking of a dog when

869
00:56:30,079 --> 00:56:34,760
it's funny bringing that up because I
just saw something too or Kneel de Grosse

870
00:56:34,840 --> 00:56:37,039
Tyson said, I want to come
back. I want to live like a

871
00:56:37,199 --> 00:56:40,039
every day, like I'm a dog. Dogs are happy. They don't care

872
00:56:40,079 --> 00:56:43,599
how long you're gone. They're happy
to see you when you come back.

873
00:56:43,679 --> 00:56:46,559
I want to be that for people
in their lives happy, you know,

874
00:56:46,719 --> 00:56:51,000
so then they're happy to see me
and I'm there and and dogs are great

875
00:56:51,039 --> 00:56:53,320
therapy teachers. Oh, I'm sure. Yeah, I never really thought of

876
00:56:53,320 --> 00:56:58,000
that. That's that's interesting because you
think of the somebody says therapy dog.

877
00:56:58,440 --> 00:57:00,719
A lot of times we're thinking,
Okay, it's a it's a dog,

878
00:57:00,800 --> 00:57:05,840
seeing eye dog, it's a maybe
a dog that helps calm somebody. But

879
00:57:05,960 --> 00:57:09,480
yeah, I'm sure there's They naturally
provide the relationship that we spend years trying

880
00:57:09,519 --> 00:57:15,239
to learn how to engage people in. Right. I typically don't like to

881
00:57:15,239 --> 00:57:17,679
see people for years and years,
right, because at that point it becomes

882
00:57:17,679 --> 00:57:21,280
about the relationship. You know,
people take from therapy what they need,

883
00:57:21,440 --> 00:57:23,519
and it's not usually what we think
we're giving them. Right, And there's

884
00:57:23,880 --> 00:57:28,039
lots of the you know, therapy
sayings like that. Right, therapy is

885
00:57:28,039 --> 00:57:31,239
in the head of the therapist.
Uh, you know, the first five

886
00:57:31,280 --> 00:57:34,480
sessions, I feel great, Right, I know what I'm gonna do,

887
00:57:34,519 --> 00:57:37,079
I know questions I'm going to ask. I know I'm trying to lead a

888
00:57:37,079 --> 00:57:39,480
person in more of a future focused
direction. We're focused on strengths, We're

889
00:57:39,559 --> 00:57:44,920
looking at constraints, you know,
we're we're using a deconstructive and reauthoring language

890
00:57:44,960 --> 00:57:49,119
to try to understand the person's relationship
to some of those different problems. And

891
00:57:49,119 --> 00:57:52,119
and you know how they can achieve
of this tool pass attitude. So first

892
00:57:52,119 --> 00:57:54,079
five sessions, I feel great about
that. After that it becomes about the

893
00:57:54,119 --> 00:58:00,360
relationship. Uh. And dogs do
that naturally. Ye, Dogs naturally engage

894
00:58:00,400 --> 00:58:05,559
in that relationship. It's uh,
that's I think a really difficult thing to

895
00:58:05,599 --> 00:58:09,880
do is to sit there and just
care about someone unconditionally and listen to them.

896
00:58:10,039 --> 00:58:15,639
Yeah. It is because a lot
of times it's I want this from

897
00:58:15,679 --> 00:58:17,840
you, If you do this,
that'll make me happy. That's a condition,

898
00:58:19,280 --> 00:58:21,119
and we don't and we don't think
of that. Yeah, I tell

899
00:58:21,159 --> 00:58:23,920
my students when because when we do, when I do supervision and internship,

900
00:58:24,440 --> 00:58:28,920
uh, you know, I'll notice
people problem solving and we're talking about cases

901
00:58:28,920 --> 00:58:32,159
and clients and they're saying all the
same things to those people that those friends,

902
00:58:32,159 --> 00:58:36,920
their friends are probably saying, right. Yeah, and uh, we

903
00:58:37,079 --> 00:58:40,320
stop the conversation every time that happens
and say, you your goal, your

904
00:58:40,440 --> 00:58:43,920
job is to say something different.
Your job is to say, you know,

905
00:58:43,960 --> 00:58:46,519
you've got to expect that these people, your clients have lots of other

906
00:58:46,519 --> 00:58:49,920
people around them telling them. You're
being an idiot, you know, telling

907
00:58:49,960 --> 00:58:52,480
them all the things that you're telling
them. Right, you know your job

908
00:58:52,559 --> 00:58:57,840
is to say something different. It's
your role, okay. So that well,

909
00:58:57,840 --> 00:59:00,880
you just sit there and the young
man and who said everybody was always

910
00:59:00,880 --> 00:59:06,679
looking over my shoulder. And as
you pointed out, no one is trying

911
00:59:06,719 --> 00:59:09,119
to do any harm to that young
man. And I don't think most people.

912
00:59:09,239 --> 00:59:13,960
I don't think most people are trying
to harm anybody. I really don't.

913
00:59:15,400 --> 00:59:17,119
I know that we have this idea
that there's a lot of well it's

914
00:59:17,159 --> 00:59:21,599
evil and it's this, and you
can go into a philosophical as a deprivation

915
00:59:21,639 --> 00:59:27,679
of good, but most things come
from a good place, and there's miscommunication

916
00:59:27,760 --> 00:59:31,280
and things mushroom, and I don't
know. But back to that idea of

917
00:59:31,360 --> 00:59:36,679
someone always looking over your shoulder.
I believe that if you have an idea

918
00:59:36,800 --> 00:59:39,119
that you want to do, say
nothing. I've heard you say that,

919
00:59:39,400 --> 00:59:44,199
yeah, And the only reason I
say that is again that most people are

920
00:59:44,239 --> 00:59:47,320
going to come to you in what
they believe is a helpful way, and

921
00:59:47,360 --> 00:59:54,079
they're going to try to give you
advice, either from their experience trying something

922
00:59:54,400 --> 00:59:59,280
or how they've seen it go with
someone else or what they've read. But

923
00:59:59,320 --> 01:00:01,880
they're not trying to harm you.
But when you let that stuff in your

924
01:00:01,880 --> 01:00:07,400
head, it's hard. You've got
to be I mean, I think I

925
01:00:07,400 --> 01:00:09,880
think one of the things that I've
also realized never being a big Star Wars

926
01:00:09,920 --> 01:00:16,679
guy boy, that that that is
such a story about mental clarity and being

927
01:00:16,719 --> 01:00:22,639
the Jedi and staying focused. Yeah, and all this stuff right, you

928
01:00:22,679 --> 01:00:27,199
can see, so you almost have
to be a Jedi mind to keep all

929
01:00:27,199 --> 01:00:30,440
that out. But but at the
same time, sometimes when we do that,

930
01:00:30,559 --> 01:00:35,440
we say something that's off colors.
We are not off color contradictory to

931
01:00:35,440 --> 01:00:37,880
them when we start and we get
we get right. But I mean,

932
01:00:38,039 --> 01:00:40,840
let's say someone says something to you
and you're like, you know, I'll

933
01:00:40,920 --> 01:00:45,480
use this podcast as an example.
Things change. I decide I'm going to

934
01:00:45,559 --> 01:00:50,639
do the podcast, and I'm not
really saying anything to anybody. There was

935
01:00:50,719 --> 01:00:53,639
just a couple of people that knew
I order all the equipment, and then

936
01:00:53,719 --> 01:00:58,239
somebody I used to work with in
radio, who themselves no longer in radio,

937
01:00:58,920 --> 01:01:01,320
Uh, call me and say,
hey, what's going on? How

938
01:01:01,360 --> 01:01:04,440
are you are you? What are
you doing? And I said, I'm

939
01:01:04,480 --> 01:01:08,079
about to start a podcast. I
was doing a podcast, and blah blah

940
01:01:08,079 --> 01:01:12,559
blah blah blah blah blah. And
I remember going, Had I gotten that

941
01:01:12,639 --> 01:01:15,880
call twenty four hours earlier, I
would have never bought the ship. But

942
01:01:15,039 --> 01:01:17,800
because I was like there and I
could see it for what it is,

943
01:01:17,880 --> 01:01:22,360
and I knew this person wasn't trying
to you know what I'm saying. But

944
01:01:22,440 --> 01:01:27,760
I also think, unfortunately, you
know, the old saying of youth is

945
01:01:27,760 --> 01:01:30,840
wasted on the young, because if
I were younger, I would have been

946
01:01:30,880 --> 01:01:34,039
in a panic. Yeah, I
would have been in a panic. But

947
01:01:34,079 --> 01:01:37,920
because I'm older and I'm not necessarily
wiser, but certainly have more experience,

948
01:01:37,960 --> 01:01:39,920
I could go, I see this
for what it is. I know why

949
01:01:39,960 --> 01:01:44,440
this person's saying it. They're not
necessarily wrong, but they're certainly not right

950
01:01:44,440 --> 01:01:46,800
either, and that just because that's
their experience doesn't mean it's mine. And

951
01:01:46,840 --> 01:01:51,119
I would always go back to the
Bible. When Jesus healed somebody, he

952
01:01:51,119 --> 01:01:52,800
would say, go forth and tell
no one, And I think that was

953
01:01:52,840 --> 01:01:58,320
never really discussed, and I started
to think, yeah, because you went

954
01:01:58,400 --> 01:02:01,639
back and somebody goes through, oh
that comes back. It comes back worse

955
01:02:01,719 --> 01:02:05,519
the second time, you know what
I'm saying, And then it's in your

956
01:02:05,519 --> 01:02:12,400
head and so you go from pure
positive light to these this resistance and doubt.

957
01:02:12,800 --> 01:02:15,519
And I think a lot of times, if there's something you want in

958
01:02:15,559 --> 01:02:19,440
life and it's not happening, it's
because you don't fully believe. Yep.

959
01:02:19,920 --> 01:02:22,760
Yeah, it comes back to that
and the secret and some of that.

960
01:02:22,960 --> 01:02:25,320
Yeah. Man, I mean,
I know that that sounds so voodooish,

961
01:02:25,760 --> 01:02:30,840
but I'm listening to you. You
have a PhD. You've talked about spiritual

962
01:02:30,880 --> 01:02:35,239
healing. You brought me water from
some kind of magic rod in it,

963
01:02:35,320 --> 01:02:39,480
right, But but but healing water
an energy. Water. Yeah, life

964
01:02:39,559 --> 01:02:44,360
is energy. I mean I think
that that's something that has been overlooked.

965
01:02:45,039 --> 01:02:46,559
Maybe not, maybe I wasn't in
the right circles. I don't know.

966
01:02:46,679 --> 01:02:51,000
I think we're getting there. I
think so the people I've been speaking too

967
01:02:51,000 --> 01:02:53,840
over the past year, and it
had a chance to interview some amazing you

968
01:02:53,880 --> 01:03:00,480
know, DNA scientists and scientists and
cerebral spinal fluid and water scientists. Uh.

969
01:03:00,599 --> 01:03:04,239
And we're in the process of preparing
some content and being told for the

970
01:03:04,280 --> 01:03:07,800
G twenty summit, which is I
didn't want. I didn't even know what

971
01:03:07,840 --> 01:03:09,719
that was when when I got involved
in this. But uh, you know,

972
01:03:09,840 --> 01:03:14,880
they're most of them have reached their
limit with what they can They've they

973
01:03:14,920 --> 01:03:17,320
are you know, people at Cambridge
and Harvard and UCLA, and they've reached

974
01:03:17,320 --> 01:03:20,920
the limit of what they can learn
with modern medicine, and they're going back

975
01:03:20,960 --> 01:03:23,119
to ancient medicine and looking at ancient
you know, what we knew, what

976
01:03:23,280 --> 01:03:25,760
ancient cultures knew, and trying to
see if we can fill in some of

977
01:03:25,760 --> 01:03:30,159
the gaps and try to learn what
they learned. And most of them,

978
01:03:30,199 --> 01:03:34,920
we created these incredible models, you
know that look at modern medicine and ancient

979
01:03:34,960 --> 01:03:37,760
medicine, and when you put them
over each other, they almost they overlap

980
01:03:37,760 --> 01:03:40,239
in this way like they're people thousands
of years ago new stuff. Yes,

981
01:03:40,320 --> 01:03:44,760
they knew stuff that and so you
know, a lot of this stuff is

982
01:03:44,800 --> 01:03:47,639
five thousand years old, right,
I don't think that we don't know.

983
01:03:47,679 --> 01:03:52,920
I think a lot of this stuff
is just you know, really really old,

984
01:03:52,079 --> 01:03:58,400
and we haven't we we almost discounted
because it's old, exactly right.

985
01:03:58,440 --> 01:04:01,360
We say, well that that's not
today. We have so much technology and

986
01:04:01,400 --> 01:04:08,920
so much but the I have this
silly theory that every thought has already been

987
01:04:08,920 --> 01:04:14,039
thought, and what we're doing is
building off the original thought. So whatever

988
01:04:14,119 --> 01:04:16,880
happened five thousand years ago, if
that thought wasn't there, if that didn't

989
01:04:16,920 --> 01:04:23,480
become manifestation, we wouldn't have extray
machines today, or we wouldn't have whatever

990
01:04:23,559 --> 01:04:26,360
it is, right, games,
video games. I mean, all of

991
01:04:26,400 --> 01:04:30,920
it was something that was progressive,
but it built on thought. Yes that

992
01:04:30,079 --> 01:04:33,159
was there, yeah, well and
thought. We don't know where thoughts come

993
01:04:33,159 --> 01:04:35,960
from, really, you know.
You know, my belief over time has

994
01:04:35,960 --> 01:04:39,960
been that we don't create thoughts.
We you know, the research I've done,

995
01:04:40,000 --> 01:04:43,000
the reading I've done, my own
spiritual journeys. You know, I

996
01:04:43,039 --> 01:04:45,440
really believe at this point that there
is this one mind. Basically, you

997
01:04:45,480 --> 01:04:48,239
know, everything that we need to
know is around us freaking remains right,

998
01:04:48,280 --> 01:04:53,719
and that we're more you know,
our brains are more like lungs for for

999
01:04:53,760 --> 01:04:57,719
consciousness than they are, you know, the creators of consciousness. Right,

1000
01:04:57,760 --> 01:05:00,760
we're breathing it in and we all
have different personnel these in different ways of

1001
01:05:00,840 --> 01:05:02,719
looking at things because you know,
each of our brains have been clouded with

1002
01:05:02,760 --> 01:05:05,519
different traumas and things like that.
I mean, there's a filter in there

1003
01:05:05,599 --> 01:05:10,199
that only allows us to see things
based on our particular perspectives, but that

1004
01:05:10,320 --> 01:05:14,360
ultimately, you know, we're all
connected by this one consciousness. And and

1005
01:05:14,400 --> 01:05:16,760
that's where like when I talk about
autism is evolution, you know, that's

1006
01:05:16,760 --> 01:05:20,119
where my mind goes is. You
know, I can't help but think that

1007
01:05:20,159 --> 01:05:25,079
some of the people that I work
with are connected to that consciousness in a

1008
01:05:25,159 --> 01:05:29,000
different way. Right. We've got
I've got people who you know, can

1009
01:05:29,119 --> 01:05:31,239
you know, play the piano like
you know, uh, they've been at

1010
01:05:31,239 --> 01:05:34,800
Eastman School forever, you know,
the first time they sit down at a

1011
01:05:34,800 --> 01:05:39,719
piano, right, right, I've
got people who remember dates, you know,

1012
01:05:40,400 --> 01:05:42,800
you know, ten years. I
have this one client. If you

1013
01:05:42,800 --> 01:05:45,440
tell him your birthday and then he
doesn't see you again for ten years,

1014
01:05:45,440 --> 01:05:47,000
and you ask him your birthday,
he'll tell you your birthday, you know,

1015
01:05:47,079 --> 01:05:49,880
and your mom's birthday and anybody else's
birthday who you told him, right,

1016
01:05:49,920 --> 01:05:54,519
And so I can't help but think
that some people, you know,

1017
01:05:54,559 --> 01:05:58,280
perhaps some people on the spectrum,
have a different connection to you know,

1018
01:05:58,360 --> 01:06:02,039
to that one mind. Right.
It's really become a big part of my

1019
01:06:02,079 --> 01:06:06,079
belief system and to some extent the
way that I do therapy. Tell me

1020
01:06:06,159 --> 01:06:12,559
about a little bit about your spiritual
journey, because this is the fascinating part,

1021
01:06:12,599 --> 01:06:16,199
because I think there's the clinical and
then there's this other side, and

1022
01:06:16,239 --> 01:06:19,719
it is almost referred to as a
voodoo wish thing. I think that most

1023
01:06:19,719 --> 01:06:25,320
people look at it that way.
You came in and before we started,

1024
01:06:25,320 --> 01:06:27,639
you said to me, I know
your mom. I've listened to you on

1025
01:06:27,679 --> 01:06:30,719
the ready of your mom's a level
three reiki and I said, yeah,

1026
01:06:30,800 --> 01:06:35,000
I think my mom is somebody who
I don't know that she fully believes in

1027
01:06:35,079 --> 01:06:40,280
some of the healing stuff herself because
she's got hip problems and all this.

1028
01:06:40,840 --> 01:06:45,000
And I talked about doing having her
do reiki on me, and I couldn't

1029
01:06:45,039 --> 01:06:48,519
stop crying after that one time.
I just couldn't stop crying, and it

1030
01:06:48,599 --> 01:06:53,400
was like you could almost see this. I do think that there's stuff there.

1031
01:06:53,880 --> 01:06:58,639
I don't certainly I'm not one of
these, you know, but to

1032
01:06:58,719 --> 01:07:00,840
go too far into it, but
I do think that there's something there,

1033
01:07:00,880 --> 01:07:09,840
and that the the idea of consciousness
and energy is very important, and that

1034
01:07:10,159 --> 01:07:14,199
there are waves out there and whatever
you link up to is going to be

1035
01:07:14,639 --> 01:07:19,039
what you're in and sometimes I mean
you could. Radio is a great analogy.

1036
01:07:19,119 --> 01:07:23,280
Right, If I'm listening to one
hundred point five, I can't hear

1037
01:07:23,360 --> 01:07:27,719
what's on on on ninety six five. If I'm listening to whatever, I

1038
01:07:28,039 --> 01:07:33,360
ninety three point seven and I can't
hear what's on Yeah, right, So

1039
01:07:33,400 --> 01:07:36,559
you tune into that that frequency and
whatever is happening on that frequency. And

1040
01:07:36,639 --> 01:07:39,920
a lot of times, you know, think about it, You're having a

1041
01:07:39,920 --> 01:07:43,079
bad day, and more bad stuff
keeps happening because you're on that frequency.

1042
01:07:43,159 --> 01:07:45,360
And I really am a big believer
in that, and I think that you

1043
01:07:45,719 --> 01:07:50,559
can change it, you can change
your day. And I think there's some

1044
01:07:50,599 --> 01:07:54,679
teachers. I always think, uh, Tony Robbins is a teacher. A

1045
01:07:54,719 --> 01:07:57,719
lot a lot of people like you
can change your state. I'm not such

1046
01:07:57,760 --> 01:08:00,000
a big subscriber to Tony Robbins.
There are others that I like more,

1047
01:08:00,079 --> 01:08:05,800
but I would be one where I'm
a big believer in meditation. I think

1048
01:08:05,840 --> 01:08:11,079
that fifteen minutes a day, I
sit and I try really hard to just

1049
01:08:11,960 --> 01:08:15,039
concentrate on some sound in the room, and that's it. Breathe in,

1050
01:08:15,079 --> 01:08:17,359
breathe out, and no thought.
Now, thoughts will come in and sometimes

1051
01:08:17,399 --> 01:08:23,279
I try to think of like an
iPad where I just whitefulness meditation right now

1052
01:08:23,319 --> 01:08:26,560
and just trying to stay in that
moment. And there's something about that that

1053
01:08:26,680 --> 01:08:30,960
kind of raises you up and you
can almost handle a lot of shit better

1054
01:08:30,359 --> 01:08:34,239
that's coming at you. I don't
know, but you talked about writing down

1055
01:08:34,319 --> 01:08:41,720
grateful what has been your spiritual journey? As I often well, it's it's

1056
01:08:41,760 --> 01:08:44,560
all related to telful, it's this
is a great conversation. I'm enjoying it.

1057
01:08:44,560 --> 01:08:48,000
Thanks me too. Uh So,
I often refer to myself as recovering

1058
01:08:48,079 --> 01:08:56,119
Catholic. Okay, I came from
a very Catholic myself. I went to

1059
01:08:56,119 --> 01:09:00,920
Catholic schools growing up. I was, you know, to tell you some

1060
01:09:00,960 --> 01:09:02,399
more stories, but I might get
myself in trouble with some people who I

1061
01:09:02,439 --> 01:09:09,159
care about I can't understand, but
so they you know, kind of started

1062
01:09:09,199 --> 01:09:13,840
there. And then my dad died
seventeen years ago, and uh you know

1063
01:09:14,079 --> 01:09:19,039
that really and kept shifted my perspective
in a lot of different ways. I'm

1064
01:09:19,039 --> 01:09:24,159
and then doing this type of work, uh you know, has been a

1065
01:09:24,319 --> 01:09:26,920
big change for me. And so
over the past ten years or so,

1066
01:09:27,079 --> 01:09:33,479
there's things like water and gratitude and
other things that have become important parts of

1067
01:09:33,600 --> 01:09:38,000
parts of my life, partly because
of research I've done in books that I've

1068
01:09:38,039 --> 01:09:42,680
read. Uh this past year has
been especially interesting. I went to this

1069
01:09:42,840 --> 01:09:46,119
Uh, so I have I have
Type one diabetes and uh my daughter and

1070
01:09:46,159 --> 01:09:48,800
I have three daughters, so I'm
kind of the opposite family that you have,

1071
01:09:49,079 --> 01:09:56,039
yes, mirror image. Uh,
And my my oldest daughter and I've

1072
01:09:56,039 --> 01:09:59,199
been climbing the forty six speaks in
the ad Aroundics. We just finished back

1073
01:09:59,239 --> 01:10:01,359
in October. That's amazing. It
was so much fun. It's so much

1074
01:10:01,399 --> 01:10:05,000
fun. I can't recommend it to
anybody who wants to challenge themselves. But

1075
01:10:05,039 --> 01:10:09,039
that was a big part of my
journey too, was it was getting more.

1076
01:10:09,119 --> 01:10:13,239
It's a kind of ironic that I
wrote a book on using technology in

1077
01:10:13,800 --> 01:10:17,760
mental health and actually so so such
a big part of my life and my

1078
01:10:17,800 --> 01:10:24,159
work actually is getting kids who are
stuck in their parents' basements outside to get

1079
01:10:24,159 --> 01:10:29,520
exposed to nature. And uh,
it's to kind of get back to the

1080
01:10:29,520 --> 01:10:32,520
point my daughter and I were climbing
these these mountains and uh, back in

1081
01:10:32,800 --> 01:10:36,199
late July last year, we were
going to climb the Dicks Range and I

1082
01:10:36,239 --> 01:10:40,279
got to the base of the mountain
and I can I had what I can

1083
01:10:40,279 --> 01:10:43,960
only describe as some sort of seizure. I know now that it was a

1084
01:10:43,960 --> 01:10:46,039
pseudo seizure of some sort, but
I was convulsing. I couldn't stop convulsing.

1085
01:10:46,880 --> 01:10:49,560
It was funny. I had my
daughter myself, and then she had

1086
01:10:49,560 --> 01:10:54,439
her friend there and her friend's dad
who's a guynecologist, and I asked him

1087
01:10:54,439 --> 01:10:56,439
what he thought was wrong with me, and he said, my ovaries were

1088
01:10:56,479 --> 01:11:03,359
fine, So that's that's legit.
Uh, And so we had to turn

1089
01:11:03,399 --> 01:11:06,800
back, and I was distraught,
felt like there was no way that I'm

1090
01:11:06,840 --> 01:11:12,720
going to be able to finish these
mountains. I'm not the person that I

1091
01:11:12,880 --> 01:11:16,560
that I want to be, basically, and the autoimmune process that caused my

1092
01:11:16,680 --> 01:11:20,600
type one diabetes is supposed to at
some point attack other organs, and I

1093
01:11:20,640 --> 01:11:24,840
figured, this is probably, you
know, the next shoes dropping, This

1094
01:11:24,920 --> 01:11:28,439
is probably what's happening right now,
and so I right after that, I

1095
01:11:28,439 --> 01:11:30,800
was scheduled to go to a conference
in Cape cod put on by Harvard.

1096
01:11:30,840 --> 01:11:33,279
I like to do this every every
few years. It's awesome conference. You

1097
01:11:33,319 --> 01:11:35,840
go in the morning and then it's
at a beach resort, so you can

1098
01:11:35,840 --> 01:11:39,600
go out on the beach in the
afternoon. And so my wife and I

1099
01:11:39,640 --> 01:11:43,920
went, and, uh, it's
all Harvard professors there. This particular one,

1100
01:11:43,960 --> 01:11:46,319
they had three different track sessions.
There was a cognitive behavior therapy track

1101
01:11:46,359 --> 01:11:50,439
session, which I was in.
There was a psychopharmacology session that was going

1102
01:11:50,479 --> 01:11:54,359
on, and then there was a
mindfulness meditation track session that was going on.

1103
01:11:54,800 --> 01:11:58,760
And so I got to this conference
and it's just still feeling pretty awful,

1104
01:11:58,880 --> 01:12:01,800
no appetite, worry that, you
know, I'd have another one of

1105
01:12:01,800 --> 01:12:05,319
these episodes. About the second day
into the conference, I walked out of

1106
01:12:05,319 --> 01:12:09,960
the conference and I was sitting down
at at a table with a bunch of

1107
01:12:09,960 --> 01:12:13,800
psychologists, and I was talking about
my book. I was at the time

1108
01:12:13,840 --> 01:12:15,479
the book had just come out,
and I was marketing the book and talking

1109
01:12:15,479 --> 01:12:19,159
about the book. And I noticed
out of the corner of my eye someone

1110
01:12:19,159 --> 01:12:21,560
who at the time he looked really
tall. He's actually not that tall,

1111
01:12:21,600 --> 01:12:25,479
but at the time he looked really
tall. I was an Indian gentleman with

1112
01:12:26,000 --> 01:12:29,439
long hair and a long beard,
and he was wearing all white. It

1113
01:12:29,479 --> 01:12:31,159
was like a white robe almost,
but it was you know, pants and

1114
01:12:31,520 --> 01:12:35,520
his shirt but it was all white
linen, and kind of made eye contact

1115
01:12:35,560 --> 01:12:39,000
with him out of the corner of
my eye for a second, and then

1116
01:12:39,039 --> 01:12:43,000
went back to talking to the people
at my table. And it seemed like

1117
01:12:43,039 --> 01:12:45,560
within seconds he had kind of just
floated over to me. If you've ever

1118
01:12:45,560 --> 01:12:49,920
seen Prince like move, yeah,
it's it's like he's floating or something about

1119
01:12:49,920 --> 01:12:54,920
Prince when he and this, it
was he somehow like floated over to me

1120
01:12:54,960 --> 01:12:58,159
and he was standing right up over
my shoulder. And so I another couple

1121
01:12:58,159 --> 01:13:00,960
of minutes, I finished my conversation
with people at this table, and I

1122
01:13:01,000 --> 01:13:03,640
looked up at him and I asked
him, you know what I could do

1123
01:13:03,720 --> 01:13:09,760
for him? It was kind of
creeped out a little bit, and and

1124
01:13:09,840 --> 01:13:12,359
he grabbed both of my hands and
he said, he said, the universe

1125
01:13:12,399 --> 01:13:15,079
has sent me to you. He
said I've been looking for you that He

1126
01:13:15,119 --> 01:13:17,319
said, you have very important work
to do. He said, you must

1127
01:13:17,319 --> 01:13:21,560
have two sessions with me, and
so I you know that didn't help me

1128
01:13:21,600 --> 01:13:25,800
being creeped out. Uh, yeah, that would be weird. I was

1129
01:13:25,840 --> 01:13:30,239
thinking, Uh, what kind of
charlatan are you? That was kind of

1130
01:13:30,239 --> 01:13:32,800
the impression I got. Yep,
And but you know, it was a

1131
01:13:32,840 --> 01:13:35,960
mental health conference and there were lots
of different types of people there and they

1132
01:13:36,000 --> 01:13:41,079
were and so and I saw him
go into the mindfulness this meditation conference,

1133
01:13:41,079 --> 01:13:43,960
and I got the impression that he
was somehow associated with Hartvard and that he

1134
01:13:44,039 --> 01:13:47,840
was, you know, he was
there for a bigger reason than because he

1135
01:13:47,920 --> 01:13:51,640
was, you know, participating in
the conference. And so the next day

1136
01:13:51,319 --> 01:13:56,439
I came out for break and he
was eating a yogurt at a table and

1137
01:13:56,479 --> 01:13:59,399
he asked me to sit down for
my first session, and he held my

1138
01:13:59,439 --> 01:14:02,479
wrist for like five minutes. He
used these three fingers. It's something called

1139
01:14:02,479 --> 01:14:06,239
arabetic medicine. Have you ever heard
of aerobetic medicine? So it's an ancient

1140
01:14:06,640 --> 01:14:12,560
healing approach in India. It's five
thousand years old. Uh and UH.

1141
01:14:13,319 --> 01:14:16,199
Basically what they're looking for there's different
energy flows when you when you hold your

1142
01:14:16,239 --> 01:14:19,079
risk like this, and there's different
codes they're looking for. There's three hundred

1143
01:14:19,079 --> 01:14:23,520
and fifty different possible come you know
codes, and they are different combinations of

1144
01:14:23,560 --> 01:14:29,119
these codes. And this healer deep
Saying, who's also he was Nelson Mandela's

1145
01:14:29,119 --> 01:14:31,760
personal healer for a number of years. I learned afterwards, he's an expert

1146
01:14:31,840 --> 01:14:34,720
in this arobetic medicine, and so
he helped my wrist for about five medicine

1147
01:14:34,720 --> 01:14:38,520
minutes and afterwards he said, ah, yes, he said, just as

1148
01:14:38,560 --> 01:14:44,039
I suspected, in a thick Indian
accent. Uh, this is You've got

1149
01:14:44,119 --> 01:14:45,399
very important work to do. He
said, You've got three years that are

1150
01:14:45,399 --> 01:14:49,359
getting in your way. And so
now I'm curious. He gave me the

1151
01:14:49,399 --> 01:14:53,560
years. He said, twenty thirteen, two thousand and eight, and nineteen

1152
01:14:53,560 --> 01:14:58,199
eighty eight. And uh, actually
not two eight, twenty thirty. I'm

1153
01:14:58,239 --> 01:15:00,199
trying to remember that I'm not at
dates at all. I should bring in

1154
01:15:00,239 --> 01:15:03,720
my client who's really good at dates. Anyway, he gave me three dates,

1155
01:15:04,119 --> 01:15:09,479
and I went back to the hotel
room at the conference and I told

1156
01:15:09,520 --> 01:15:12,079
my wife, I'm like, this
is a really odd thing that happened today.

1157
01:15:12,119 --> 01:15:15,159
I had, you know, I
did this session with this Indian healer,

1158
01:15:15,199 --> 01:15:18,000
and he told me that I've got
three years that are getting in my

1159
01:15:18,079 --> 01:15:23,399
way of my energy flow, and
that in that I've got important work to

1160
01:15:23,399 --> 01:15:27,119
do, but that I need to
work through these years. And so I

1161
01:15:27,199 --> 01:15:29,640
told her the years because I'm not
good at years, and I don't remember

1162
01:15:29,680 --> 01:15:33,039
things that happened and things like that. And she said, well, actually,

1163
01:15:33,119 --> 01:15:35,479
and my wife doesn't think this way
at all. She said, that

1164
01:15:35,560 --> 01:15:39,439
was the year your dad died,
that was the year we had a full

1165
01:15:39,520 --> 01:15:44,800
term stillborn. And the year in
the eighties was just a difficult year for

1166
01:15:44,840 --> 01:15:47,119
me. Is in childhood. And
so now I'm really intrigued. Right,

1167
01:15:47,239 --> 01:15:51,560
just nailed these three years. I
see, do you need to take a

1168
01:15:51,600 --> 01:15:55,359
break soon too? I want to
make sure that I'm not babbling on and

1169
01:15:55,399 --> 01:15:58,399
on. No, no, no, no, good babbled on. Okay,

1170
01:15:58,479 --> 01:16:00,319
if I look like I'm squirming,
it's because I have to go to

1171
01:16:00,359 --> 01:16:03,399
the bathroom. I drink so much
water during the day. But no,

1172
01:16:03,479 --> 01:16:06,319
I'm I'm interested in this. Yeah, yeah, yeah, keep going.

1173
01:16:06,359 --> 01:16:11,720
Okay, no, no, keep
going, Let's keep going. So I

1174
01:16:12,079 --> 01:16:15,159
went back the next day to the
conference. And I also have to go

1175
01:16:15,199 --> 01:16:17,920
to the bathroom often because of my
diabetes. Anytime my sugar goes over to

1176
01:16:17,920 --> 01:16:20,239
one sixty, I've got to go
to the bathroom. And so I abruptly

1177
01:16:20,319 --> 01:16:25,439
left my track session. And you
know, this healer was waiting outside Doctor

1178
01:16:25,479 --> 01:16:29,319
Deep was waiting outside my my my
room when I when I got there,

1179
01:16:29,399 --> 01:16:32,720
he said, I've been waiting for
you, which is again kind of interesting

1180
01:16:32,760 --> 01:16:36,640
and maybe a little bit you know, creepy. But I said, okay,

1181
01:16:36,640 --> 01:16:39,279
well, I've got to go to
the bathroom, can you know.

1182
01:16:39,479 --> 01:16:41,439
He said, it's time for your
second session. I said, okay,

1183
01:16:41,439 --> 01:16:43,439
well, let me go to the
bathroom. I'll come back and we'll do

1184
01:16:43,479 --> 01:16:47,640
this. And so at this for
the second session, he had me hold

1185
01:16:47,680 --> 01:16:50,279
my head down on my hands and
he asked me if I had a bottle

1186
01:16:50,279 --> 01:16:54,800
of water, and held the bottle
of water out and he said, okay,

1187
01:16:54,800 --> 01:16:58,640
open up the bottle of water.
And for about seven minutes he had

1188
01:16:58,680 --> 01:17:01,479
me I had in my hands and
he felt around on my scalp. And

1189
01:17:01,600 --> 01:17:04,520
afterwards he asked me to sit up
and he said told me to drink the

1190
01:17:04,520 --> 01:17:08,119
water, and he said, drink
the water till there's about twenty five percent

1191
01:17:08,239 --> 01:17:10,960
left, and he said keep refilling
it for the next couple of days.

1192
01:17:11,600 --> 01:17:15,479
He said, you're going to feel
better, and so I never told him

1193
01:17:15,479 --> 01:17:18,920
I wasn't feeling well, and he
at this point told me, you know,

1194
01:17:19,000 --> 01:17:21,680
your sugars are going to be better. You're gonna have a better appetite.

1195
01:17:21,760 --> 01:17:26,840
He used all these things that I
had never shared with him that that

1196
01:17:26,920 --> 01:17:29,880
I was having these issues. I
suppose there's some way that he could find

1197
01:17:29,880 --> 01:17:33,680
out, but sure, he was
just very positive and reinforcing that I was

1198
01:17:33,720 --> 01:17:36,039
going to feel better. And and
he said, and we're going to talk

1199
01:17:36,039 --> 01:17:44,479
again, he said, And he
said be ready. Basically, so I

1200
01:17:44,520 --> 01:17:47,199
should you not? I Kevin felt
better in you know, twelve years since

1201
01:17:47,199 --> 01:17:50,239
I started drinking this water. And
so I'm on my way. That was

1202
01:17:50,279 --> 01:17:53,720
the last day of the conference.
We were driving back. Was it a

1203
01:17:53,760 --> 01:17:59,119
specific kind of water or is it
just like the Waman's spring water? Okay,

1204
01:17:59,199 --> 01:18:01,279
so it's just it could have been
any water, any water, Okay,

1205
01:18:01,520 --> 01:18:08,119
yep. And so I, uh, just driving home to Cape Kyle

1206
01:18:08,199 --> 01:18:10,880
with my wife, and I just
just had this like lightness, right,

1207
01:18:10,920 --> 01:18:15,000
I just felt great. I had
an appetite, which was and but I'm

1208
01:18:15,000 --> 01:18:16,880
a scientist, right, like I
know, like placebo effect is a real

1209
01:18:16,920 --> 01:18:19,760
thing. We don't know what causes
the placebo effect or where the polacee able

1210
01:18:19,760 --> 01:18:24,159
effect comes from, but you know, we I'm definitely at this point thinking,

1211
01:18:24,239 --> 01:18:27,279
what, you know, maybe I
maybe I really needed someone to tell

1212
01:18:27,319 --> 01:18:30,680
me I was going to be okay, yeah, okay, yeah, And

1213
01:18:30,720 --> 01:18:34,399
so I continued to feel better for
the next week. That night when we

1214
01:18:34,439 --> 01:18:38,800
got home, my daughter and I, we left it three in the morning

1215
01:18:38,800 --> 01:18:41,239
and went up and climbed a high
peak and got back that night and I

1216
01:18:41,279 --> 01:18:44,560
was running through the woods just like, feeling better than I had when I

1217
01:18:44,600 --> 01:18:45,680
was a kid. And I'm like, there's gotta be something to this,

1218
01:18:45,760 --> 01:18:49,880
I really and uh. And so
ever since that point, I've been in

1219
01:18:49,920 --> 01:18:55,640
connection with him and other people in
India who are you know, experts in

1220
01:18:55,680 --> 01:19:01,319
this arabetic medicine and who practiced this
and practiced not. And I've had a

1221
01:19:01,399 --> 01:19:04,279
chance to learn a lot about it. What is naughty? So natty is

1222
01:19:04,319 --> 01:19:13,119
the energy that holds water together?
Okay, and so the apparently five thousand

1223
01:19:13,239 --> 01:19:15,039
years ago and I'm still learning this
stuff, and I'm still skeptical. And

1224
01:19:15,039 --> 01:19:19,199
I'm talking about this as if you
know, everyone should drink this water,

1225
01:19:19,239 --> 01:19:23,359
You're gonna be great, right.
I hope that's the case. They know

1226
01:19:23,479 --> 01:19:27,079
I'm feeling better. So it's called
naughty water, correct, yep? Okay?

1227
01:19:27,680 --> 01:19:31,119
But is naughty water every piece of
water or is it have to have

1228
01:19:31,159 --> 01:19:35,359
special treatment to be naughty water?
Great question. Natty water is water that's

1229
01:19:35,439 --> 01:19:40,399
charged with natty energy. Okay,
So it's water that. So there's a

1230
01:19:40,600 --> 01:19:43,479
scientist, doctor Mooto. I don't
know if you're familiar, but he wrote

1231
01:19:43,520 --> 01:19:49,039
a book called Secret Messages and Water. Okay, and there's been other experiments

1232
01:19:49,039 --> 01:19:53,560
over the years that have looked at
similar things related to water memory. Yeah,

1233
01:19:53,880 --> 01:19:57,479
like if this book was really cool. He basically what this guy did

1234
01:19:57,560 --> 01:20:00,359
was he froze. I'm gonna have
to pause here, let's do because you

1235
01:20:00,479 --> 01:20:04,159
keep talking about water and if I'm
gonna wet my pants, but let me

1236
01:20:04,399 --> 01:20:06,640
wait. You know, all do
is We'll take a qui commercial break,

1237
01:20:06,840 --> 01:20:10,439
and then I want to come back. I want to talk about naughty water.

1238
01:20:10,720 --> 01:20:12,880
We'll wrap it up in our next
one. I want to learn more

1239
01:20:12,880 --> 01:20:15,680
about the naughty water. I want
to tell you some things that I have

1240
01:20:15,760 --> 01:20:17,840
heard about water and see if that
goes to your thing. And then I

1241
01:20:17,880 --> 01:20:21,039
just want to ask you kind of
about people today in social media. Sounds

1242
01:20:21,039 --> 01:20:24,439
good, all right, you don't
mind? Sounds good, all right?

1243
01:20:24,800 --> 01:20:28,600
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1268
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of All Trades dot net. He
said, I've been where you've been before,

1269
01:22:45,000 --> 01:22:49,760
down every hallways, a slamming door, no way out, no want

1270
01:22:49,800 --> 01:22:55,000
to come and save me. Waste
in the life that the Good Lord gave

1271
01:22:55,079 --> 01:23:25,479
me. This said, saying Sila. They told me, and I don't

1272
01:23:25,479 --> 01:23:28,960
even know the song when I found
the title something in the Water. Carrie

1273
01:23:29,039 --> 01:23:34,039
Underwood and uh, Carrie Underwood is
is a very small person. I met

1274
01:23:34,039 --> 01:23:39,880
her and I had my son Jamison, who we lived in the same neighborhood.

1275
01:23:39,920 --> 01:23:43,000
I didn't even really know that for
a while and I was out trick

1276
01:23:43,079 --> 01:23:46,279
or treating and you heard me say
Jamison, yeah. Uh, but Jamison

1277
01:23:46,359 --> 01:23:49,760
was a baby, And I said
to her, where you signed my baby's

1278
01:23:49,800 --> 01:23:53,479
forehead. You had to see the
look on her face. It's like,

1279
01:23:53,560 --> 01:23:55,680
what, I go, Yeah,
I'm gonna have a tattoo there. So

1280
01:23:55,720 --> 01:23:59,159
when he goes off, he got
a little weird. But something in the

1281
01:23:59,159 --> 01:24:01,880
water. And there is many people
who believe that there's healing powers and water.

1282
01:24:01,960 --> 01:24:06,279
Now you were talking about natty water, but naughty is the energy that

1283
01:24:06,319 --> 01:24:12,720
holds water together. That's what I'm
told, okay, and so hu it

1284
01:24:12,800 --> 01:24:15,800
is that water has memory, all
right. So there was this uh scientist

1285
01:24:15,840 --> 01:24:20,079
doctor Amoto long time ago to some
really interesting research where he exposed water to

1286
01:24:20,880 --> 01:24:25,680
different types of music, different you
know, you bring people in a room

1287
01:24:25,680 --> 01:24:28,479
and ask them to all think angry
thoughts around the water, and then he

1288
01:24:28,479 --> 01:24:31,840
would freeze it immediately and he would
examine the crystals. Really and if the

1289
01:24:31,840 --> 01:24:35,279
book, I think it's called The
Secret Messages and Water. Uh and so,

1290
01:24:35,399 --> 01:24:40,199
and there's actually now an award called
the Emoto Award for you know water.

1291
01:24:40,279 --> 01:24:44,720
Every year though, the water scientist
who discovers something interesting about water gets

1292
01:24:44,720 --> 01:24:47,439
this Emoto Award. And so that
the what he learned was that you know,

1293
01:24:47,439 --> 01:24:53,560
if you exposed water to say,
classical music and freeze the crystals,

1294
01:24:53,640 --> 01:24:57,399
that the crystals will be really symmetrical
and beautiful, whereas if you expose them

1295
01:24:57,399 --> 01:25:00,760
to heavy metal music, they'll be
you know, all over the place and

1296
01:25:00,760 --> 01:25:05,960
and not very symmetrical. The most
the emotion that that caused the most consistently

1297
01:25:05,960 --> 01:25:12,239
symmetrical crystals was gratitude. And so
when you expose water to gratitude, uh,

1298
01:25:12,359 --> 01:25:16,399
it creates the most consistently beautiful and
symmetrical crystals, according to this research.

1299
01:25:17,800 --> 01:25:24,840
And so Naughty Water h works on
this premise that water has memory and

1300
01:25:25,039 --> 01:25:29,600
that by charging water with this naughty
energy, and there's a process that you

1301
01:25:29,640 --> 01:25:31,560
go through that right, I charge
water for you. But actually, you

1302
01:25:31,600 --> 01:25:35,760
know the technically you really probably should
go to the the natty rod at Fisher

1303
01:25:35,880 --> 01:25:41,159
and there's a naughty rod ad Fisher
that you can can anybody just go get

1304
01:25:41,199 --> 01:25:45,079
water there. Yeah. So so
doctor Deep came back in November. This

1305
01:25:45,159 --> 01:25:47,039
is a whole remind me to tell
you this story when when he came.

1306
01:25:47,239 --> 01:25:49,600
Yeah, but that's how we have
the rod. He charged this rod with

1307
01:25:49,640 --> 01:25:56,039
natty energy at Fisher and uh,
you sit next to it and essentially you

1308
01:25:56,079 --> 01:25:58,880
meditate, right, You you sit
there with a bottle with the bottle open,

1309
01:25:58,920 --> 01:26:00,199
and you meditate, and there's certain
and things that you know. And

1310
01:26:00,319 --> 01:26:04,239
the idea is to think about what
you're trying to clear, you know,

1311
01:26:04,399 --> 01:26:09,760
so that you can It goes back
to those those three years that doctor Deep

1312
01:26:10,119 --> 01:26:12,800
gave me in there, right.
The idea is you're trying to clear the

1313
01:26:12,840 --> 01:26:17,800
trauma associated with those particular dates as
a way to bring yourself back to a

1314
01:26:17,800 --> 01:26:21,199
healthy state. And you know,
one of the DNA scientists that I interviewed

1315
01:26:21,199 --> 01:26:27,239
from Cambridge, doctor Thane Balu,
he researches naughty water and he's he's discovered

1316
01:26:27,239 --> 01:26:30,079
that naughty water can turn genes on
and off. Right, if you drink

1317
01:26:30,439 --> 01:26:35,000
naughty water, it can actually activate
certain genes and deactivate other nonhelpful genes.

1318
01:26:35,560 --> 01:26:41,840
And so it's a it's working on
this this memory of water. And you

1319
01:26:41,880 --> 01:26:44,920
know we're we're more than ninety percent
water. Well, that's what I was

1320
01:26:44,960 --> 01:26:48,359
just thinking as you're saying this And
the weird thing is like somebody said to

1321
01:26:48,399 --> 01:26:54,439
me once, what kind of music
do you listen to sometimes that nobody would

1322
01:26:54,920 --> 01:26:59,600
suspect or even know about you?
And I said, classical. On nurse

1323
01:26:59,640 --> 01:27:01,760
times, I'll just put I'm in
here, I'll put on classical music.

1324
01:27:02,119 --> 01:27:06,800
Yeah, it's uh what you expose
yourself. Those types of things absolutely,

1325
01:27:08,000 --> 01:27:12,279
you know impact. And I've been
thanking my water for years, even before

1326
01:27:12,319 --> 01:27:15,119
I met doctor Deeper. I knew
about this stuff when I learned about the

1327
01:27:15,119 --> 01:27:19,960
Power of Gratitude and read, you
know, doctor Ramoto's book. I'll,

1328
01:27:20,119 --> 01:27:23,560
you know, kind of embarrassed to
admit it, but I'll, you know,

1329
01:27:23,680 --> 01:27:27,600
thank my water before I drink it. I could have hurt anything nobody

1330
01:27:27,640 --> 01:27:30,119
notices me doing. I away say
thank you the Siri. When I say,

1331
01:27:30,159 --> 01:27:31,399
hey, Siri, how do I
smell the something that people make fun

1332
01:27:31,399 --> 01:27:32,920
of me? I go, oh, thank you, dear. I'm not

1333
01:27:32,960 --> 01:27:36,479
sure she works the same way.
No she doesn't. Oh my god,

1334
01:27:36,520 --> 01:27:42,439
Now I got Sirie going off.
So you know, it really all comes

1335
01:27:42,479 --> 01:27:46,680
down to, you know, quantum
biophysics. Okay, all right, you

1336
01:27:46,720 --> 01:27:50,319
know, And to get back to
what I was saying before about you know,

1337
01:27:50,520 --> 01:27:54,359
some of these scientists who have gotten
as far as they can in modern

1338
01:27:54,399 --> 01:27:58,359
medicine now looking back at you know, ancient knowledge and how we can learn

1339
01:27:58,439 --> 01:28:02,600
from them. I really do believe
that we're on the precipice of moving towards

1340
01:28:02,600 --> 01:28:08,079
a more quantum way of looking at
health. Right right now, we look

1341
01:28:08,079 --> 01:28:11,960
at health at the cellular level,
you know, that's what we can see,

1342
01:28:12,079 --> 01:28:15,600
that's what we can study, that's
what we see it, taste to

1343
01:28:15,600 --> 01:28:17,880
touch it kind of yeah, yeah, And there's so much more than that

1344
01:28:17,960 --> 01:28:21,399
going on, right And we were
there's electrons that you know, when you

1345
01:28:21,439 --> 01:28:25,199
look at it at an atom,
you know, electrons are leaving, they're

1346
01:28:25,199 --> 01:28:28,600
coming back. We don't know where
they're going, right We know we know

1347
01:28:28,720 --> 01:28:33,199
that this thing called entanglement exists right
where you can manipulate in an atom on

1348
01:28:33,199 --> 01:28:35,600
one side of the world and the
same thing will happen to it on the

1349
01:28:35,600 --> 01:28:39,720
other side of the world. Uh, I didn't know that. Yeah,

1350
01:28:39,800 --> 01:28:43,239
yeah, this is a real thing. And so you know, quantum physicists

1351
01:28:43,279 --> 01:28:45,560
are learning all sorts of things now
that are starting to work their way into

1352
01:28:45,640 --> 01:28:50,800
health. And I truly believe that
that's the next stage of of health is

1353
01:28:50,840 --> 01:28:54,239
really looking at things not at the
cellular level, but at the at the

1354
01:28:54,279 --> 01:28:58,920
quantum level. And that's that's uh
to a large extent. What not The

1355
01:28:58,960 --> 01:29:00,720
premise that not he works on right, is that there's there are there's all

1356
01:29:00,720 --> 01:29:05,079
this energy and things that are happening
behind the scenes that are impacting how ourselves

1357
01:29:05,079 --> 01:29:09,159
work. Yeah, and if we
can give ourselves the right nourishment, the

1358
01:29:09,239 --> 01:29:14,520
right the right information, uh,
the right energy, you know, we

1359
01:29:14,560 --> 01:29:16,520
can help ourselves function better. We
can turn genes on that should be on,

1360
01:29:16,640 --> 01:29:20,239
we can deactivate genes that shouldn't be
on. It's the other thing that

1361
01:29:21,039 --> 01:29:26,760
I've learned from doctor Angelou and the
DNA scientist is you know the impact that

1362
01:29:26,960 --> 01:29:30,119
things like trauma and things like that
have on our DNA. Yeah, so

1363
01:29:30,960 --> 01:29:34,399
you know this, it's an exciting
time to learn about all. Well,

1364
01:29:34,399 --> 01:29:41,000
it's it's interesting because there is the
theory of the aging process. It's just

1365
01:29:41,159 --> 01:29:45,720
getting old sucks. People say,
yep, and I wish I could hold

1366
01:29:45,760 --> 01:29:50,079
back time or I could do whatever. And I started to think about that

1367
01:29:50,119 --> 01:29:54,960
one day and it's it's a little
crazy thought. And this is where my

1368
01:29:55,159 --> 01:29:58,960
head goes. And I don't really
talk about it because I think people go

1369
01:30:00,119 --> 01:30:04,279
and he's fucking insane. I worry
about that sometimes. So I my thinking

1370
01:30:04,399 --> 01:30:12,560
was, we don't want to ever
stop going through time, because that means

1371
01:30:12,560 --> 01:30:15,319
you stop living. And that's the
end result, is that we want we

1372
01:30:15,399 --> 01:30:19,279
want to continue doing what we're doing
and feeling good as we do it.

1373
01:30:19,720 --> 01:30:27,399
But are we is the degeneration of
our body almost in our head in that

1374
01:30:27,600 --> 01:30:30,199
this is what happens when you get
old. And we've been told that,

1375
01:30:30,560 --> 01:30:33,399
and so all a belief is is
a thought you think over and over and

1376
01:30:33,479 --> 01:30:38,680
over again, and so that we
believe this that maybe it's not true.

1377
01:30:38,800 --> 01:30:44,680
Could you heal your body? I
mean, nothing lasts forever, I understand,

1378
01:30:45,079 --> 01:30:48,239
but energy does, and you can't
destroy energy. So if we are

1379
01:30:48,399 --> 01:30:54,119
energy, then we never die.
We just cease to exist in this form,

1380
01:30:54,159 --> 01:30:57,439
but we never die. Now,
there are Buddhists who will say,

1381
01:30:57,520 --> 01:31:00,720
well, then you become the tree
and you become the flower or an Okay,

1382
01:31:00,720 --> 01:31:02,319
but not even that. I think
it's it's something else. I think

1383
01:31:02,359 --> 01:31:06,359
it's always energy. You are eternal, just not in this form. But

1384
01:31:06,399 --> 01:31:10,720
we live in such a see it, touch it, taste it world that

1385
01:31:10,800 --> 01:31:15,039
we that if it's not in front
of us, we can't conceptualize or understand.

1386
01:31:15,079 --> 01:31:17,439
While the iPad wasn't yep, do
you understand what I'm saying? It

1387
01:31:17,520 --> 01:31:21,439
came from somewhere, So we have
to start. If you can kind of

1388
01:31:21,439 --> 01:31:25,560
get into that thinking, you can
change the world. Now, I what

1389
01:31:25,760 --> 01:31:29,680
is the How did naughty water and
the naughty rod come to Fisher? And

1390
01:31:30,479 --> 01:31:33,359
honestly, could I go over there
by myself someday? Absolutely? You can.

1391
01:31:33,560 --> 01:31:38,359
Absolutely, I'd love to give you
instructions and I'll meet you over there

1392
01:31:38,359 --> 01:31:42,039
one time and then you can go
if you if you think, yeah,

1393
01:31:42,039 --> 01:31:44,800
I actually have set my clients over
there and several of them said said that

1394
01:31:44,960 --> 01:31:48,840
they found found it helpful. You
absolutely can. I had a thought related

1395
01:31:48,880 --> 01:31:53,520
to U, s oh the aging. Yes, I agree with you.

1396
01:31:54,079 --> 01:31:58,640
There's actually a psychodemic dynamic approach to
treating pain. Yeah, that really looks

1397
01:31:58,680 --> 01:32:02,119
and you could some people argue that
it isn't much as seventy percent of pain

1398
01:32:03,239 --> 01:32:08,720
cases are in the mind. Yeah, and there so there are approach,

1399
01:32:08,880 --> 01:32:12,600
very effective approaches to treating pain where
you get people out of these cycles where

1400
01:32:12,640 --> 01:32:15,479
they're thinking, oh, every time
I do this, I feel it in

1401
01:32:15,520 --> 01:32:21,079
my back right right right, and
help retrain them so that they think differently

1402
01:32:21,119 --> 01:32:25,600
about their pain, and they think
differently or expect different things from And then

1403
01:32:25,640 --> 01:32:29,039
I think it also goes back to
what you said to the right nourishment.

1404
01:32:29,560 --> 01:32:33,000
We eat so much stuff that inflames
our body, which adds to the pain,

1405
01:32:33,159 --> 01:32:36,560
which adds to the stuff and then
adds to the you know what I

1406
01:32:36,560 --> 01:32:40,880
mean, and we poison ourselves.
Yeah, and that's a big part of

1407
01:32:40,920 --> 01:32:45,840
Naughty two actually is food eating.
Those are all parts of the you know,

1408
01:32:45,840 --> 01:32:49,279
the Natti approach, which I'm still
learning at this point, as I

1409
01:32:49,319 --> 01:32:53,079
think I said it before. Natti
came out five thousand years ago in the

1410
01:32:53,119 --> 01:32:56,760
same book as Meditation and yoga,
and meditation and yoga kind of took off

1411
01:32:57,279 --> 01:33:00,680
and Nadi because it is kind of
you want to know why, because hotter

1412
01:33:00,800 --> 01:33:04,720
chicks got involved from hotter chicks got
involved in yoga. The naughty had of

1413
01:33:04,760 --> 01:33:09,479
me. They knew that in the
year two thousand, yoga pants yoga pants

1414
01:33:09,560 --> 01:33:13,840
for a thing because words naughty pants. I don't see naughty pants now.

1415
01:33:15,640 --> 01:33:21,000
Wet T shirt contests. Yeah,
that may work. That's really interesting because

1416
01:33:21,520 --> 01:33:28,560
so I started to tell me about
doctor deep doctoring, and he first seems

1417
01:33:28,560 --> 01:33:33,279
deep last names thing okay. So
he In October of last year, I

1418
01:33:33,359 --> 01:33:40,199
was still feeling good, talking to
him on FaceTime and communicating with some other

1419
01:33:40,199 --> 01:33:44,640
people in India who are who are
big into into this naughty stuff. And

1420
01:33:45,079 --> 01:33:46,920
I got a call from one of
his assistants in India and said, doctor

1421
01:33:46,920 --> 01:33:49,359
Deep's gonna come visit you. He's
coming to he wants to come to Saint

1422
01:33:49,439 --> 01:33:53,800
John Fisher. He's gonna come visit
you in November. Uh. And so

1423
01:33:54,800 --> 01:33:58,880
I panicked a little bit because I
knew I was worried about how people would

1424
01:33:59,039 --> 01:34:02,479
would perceive this and look at this. Uh. And this person also said

1425
01:34:02,479 --> 01:34:05,960
he wants to stay with you.
So I told my wife. She said,

1426
01:34:06,000 --> 01:34:12,279
no fucking way, for a good
reason probably. I mean, I've

1427
01:34:12,279 --> 01:34:15,319
got three daughters. And he's a
stranger, you know, strange Indian man

1428
01:34:15,359 --> 01:34:18,079
who she you know who she's I
think she met quickly at the Harvard conference.

1429
01:34:19,159 --> 01:34:24,079
And so my next call was to
my mother. And before I even

1430
01:34:24,079 --> 01:34:26,800
asked her, she said because I
had told her the story, she's I

1431
01:34:26,840 --> 01:34:28,640
said, Mom, I have something
to ask you. What it's me kind

1432
01:34:28,640 --> 01:34:30,720
of awkward, And she goes,
doctor Deep's coming to visit and you wanted

1433
01:34:30,760 --> 01:34:36,520
to stay with me. I'm like
yeah, no, really yeah, And

1434
01:34:36,600 --> 01:34:41,800
so I like, yes' is that
okay? And and and she said yes.

1435
01:34:41,880 --> 01:34:44,079
And I offered to put him up
in a hotel. He didn't want

1436
01:34:44,119 --> 01:34:45,600
to. He wanted to stay if
I couldn't. He couldn't stay with me.

1437
01:34:45,640 --> 01:34:47,760
He wanted to stay with my mom
because that's where I grew up.

1438
01:34:47,800 --> 01:34:54,239
And and uh, really just he's
actually got a huge rice farm in India.

1439
01:34:54,319 --> 01:34:57,560
Most of our Bosmodi rice comes from
his rice, okay, And that

1440
01:34:57,640 --> 01:35:01,479
supports his work. And he travels
the world spreading this this naughty energy and

1441
01:35:01,560 --> 01:35:06,119
naughty and information about naughty. And
so he stayed with my mom. And

1442
01:35:06,319 --> 01:35:10,800
uh, he drove around with me
all week this one week at Fisher and

1443
01:35:11,039 --> 01:35:15,800
did a presentation at Fisher for our
Dean. He did healings with all of

1444
01:35:15,840 --> 01:35:18,880
my faculty and with other people at
Fisher. They all he did the same

1445
01:35:18,880 --> 01:35:21,920
thing with them that he did with
me, held their wrist for for about

1446
01:35:21,920 --> 01:35:27,159
five minutes, you know, gave
them three years. They all left their

1447
01:35:27,239 --> 01:35:30,439
sessions with him, you know,
mind blown, you know, some of

1448
01:35:30,479 --> 01:35:33,159
them crying. Oh my god,
I can't believe he knew that. Uh.

1449
01:35:33,880 --> 01:35:39,439
I brought him to one of my
mentors houses whose wife had been essentially

1450
01:35:39,439 --> 01:35:45,159
bedridden for the past year, and
he had her walking and and did yeah,

1451
01:35:45,279 --> 01:35:50,479
it's this really incredible presentation at Fisher
where he zoomed in this water scientist

1452
01:35:50,600 --> 01:35:56,119
from Italy and uh, you know, didn't talked about naughty and what it

1453
01:35:56,199 --> 01:35:59,800
is. And then we had a
ceremony at Fisher where he charged this copper

1454
01:36:00,239 --> 01:36:02,520
It was an eight foot copperade that
I bought it home depot and he had

1455
01:36:02,560 --> 01:36:08,600
this process where he wrapped it in
white fabric and we all put what flower

1456
01:36:08,640 --> 01:36:12,119
pedals in it, and and then
we all stood around him while he charged

1457
01:36:12,159 --> 01:36:15,760
it. I felt like something like
I felt light or something something different happening

1458
01:36:15,760 --> 01:36:18,880
while he was charging it. Again, I don't know, you know what

1459
01:36:19,000 --> 01:36:24,239
that you know that could just be
place about whatever that is sable was interesting

1460
01:36:24,279 --> 01:36:27,560
because just to give it a little
different perspective, just for a moment.

1461
01:36:27,600 --> 01:36:29,800
I'm sorry, I hope, I'm
not. No, No, it's hurting

1462
01:36:29,880 --> 01:36:31,560
too much. You're train of thought. But what you've said this before,

1463
01:36:31,640 --> 01:36:38,800
and I remember being a young kid, like thirteen fourteen years old and drinking

1464
01:36:39,279 --> 01:36:42,720
what I thought was beer and it
was non alcoholic beer. But we didn't

1465
01:36:42,760 --> 01:36:45,399
know it. You got drunk.
Yeah, we acted drunk and we thought

1466
01:36:45,399 --> 01:36:50,960
we were drunk. And then it
was like and it's about I go,

1467
01:36:51,079 --> 01:36:55,920
boy, our brain like we didn't
know. We're laughing thinking, we're you

1468
01:36:56,000 --> 01:36:59,920
know, And it's a strange thing
that what that happens with the brain.

1469
01:37:00,159 --> 01:37:04,159
You believe, And I do think
that most stuff comes down to what you

1470
01:37:04,159 --> 01:37:08,760
truly believe, not what you want, but what do you believe? And

1471
01:37:08,840 --> 01:37:12,640
you can tell what you believe by
what's happening in your every day yes,

1472
01:37:12,760 --> 01:37:15,840
and which again is when you When
I met with doctor Deep, he provided

1473
01:37:15,880 --> 01:37:19,319
so much just positive feedback and then
you know, that's what has me thing.

1474
01:37:19,520 --> 01:37:23,159
Yes, He's got me believing and
feeling better about myself. This has

1475
01:37:23,159 --> 01:37:27,720
got to be placebo. Which led
me in a whole other down a whole

1476
01:37:27,720 --> 01:37:30,720
other rabbit hole, looking into the
placebo effect. Doctor Sugerman's actually an expert

1477
01:37:30,720 --> 01:37:33,279
in the placebo effect. There was
someone who wrote a doctor Joe Despenzo,

1478
01:37:33,319 --> 01:37:35,680
I don't know if you've heard of
him, wrote a book called You Are

1479
01:37:35,720 --> 01:37:42,279
the Placebo or really applies a lot
of these you know, quantum ideas and

1480
01:37:42,479 --> 01:37:48,920
this idea of belief to health and
yeah, I still trying to figure it

1481
01:37:48,960 --> 01:37:55,720
out. But to get back to
doctor Deep's visit, he traveled around with

1482
01:37:55,720 --> 01:37:59,800
me, did this, did this
really cool presentation at one point, and

1483
01:38:00,159 --> 01:38:02,720
this is probably one of the wildest
things that happened while he was there.

1484
01:38:02,960 --> 01:38:05,079
As I told you, I had
to buy this copper rod at home depot.

1485
01:38:05,119 --> 01:38:09,439
I bought it the week before he
came. There was one point in

1486
01:38:09,479 --> 01:38:12,840
the trip where we were come from
one place and we're going to another way.

1487
01:38:12,840 --> 01:38:15,119
Had to swing by my house to
pick up the copper rod because we

1488
01:38:15,159 --> 01:38:16,760
had to bring it to Fisher so
that he could charge it for this presentation.

1489
01:38:17,399 --> 01:38:20,079
And I have a pickup truck.
I put the back down on the

1490
01:38:20,079 --> 01:38:24,000
pickup truck and we put the copper
rod in there, and he looked at

1491
01:38:24,000 --> 01:38:27,079
me and really deep Indian accent,
he said, Doctor Rob, this this

1492
01:38:27,119 --> 01:38:30,359
isn't gonna stay. This isn't gonna
work. And I looked at him and

1493
01:38:30,359 --> 01:38:31,520
I said, yeah, this is
fine. I do this all the time.

1494
01:38:31,560 --> 01:38:33,960
I traveled stuff in the back of
my truck all the time with ope,

1495
01:38:33,960 --> 01:38:36,840
and I'll take the back roads.
Don't worry about it so long.

1496
01:38:36,920 --> 01:38:41,319
Behold. We get to Fisher and
I get out of the parking lot and

1497
01:38:41,359 --> 01:38:45,239
the copper rod's not there. It
fell out. And I looked up at

1498
01:38:45,279 --> 01:38:46,439
him and I said, doctor Deep, you were right. I am sorry.

1499
01:38:46,479 --> 01:38:48,359
I'm gonna run to home depot.
We got a half hour. I

1500
01:38:48,359 --> 01:38:51,119
can get a new copper rod.
Will be fine. And he looked at

1501
01:38:51,159 --> 01:38:55,680
me and he goes, don't worry, said no, we need a copper

1502
01:38:55,760 --> 01:38:59,359
rod. You know there's people expecting
this ceremony and they want to He said,

1503
01:38:59,359 --> 01:39:00,359
no, it'll come back. He
said, someone saw it. It'll

1504
01:39:00,399 --> 01:39:05,640
come back. I'm not sure that's
how things work. I said, how

1505
01:39:05,640 --> 01:39:09,279
about I go to home depot just
in case it doesn't come back, and

1506
01:39:09,319 --> 01:39:12,159
I'll get another rod. And he
started to get kind of frustrated with me,

1507
01:39:12,279 --> 01:39:14,399
like, doctor Rob, you gotta
believe me. It's gonna come back.

1508
01:39:14,680 --> 01:39:16,319
And I said, okay, well, and doctor Deep, I'll take

1509
01:39:16,319 --> 01:39:19,479
you up to my dean. You
can do your second healing with my dean.

1510
01:39:20,359 --> 01:39:23,720
I'll wait for a little while,
and if it doesn't come back,

1511
01:39:23,960 --> 01:39:26,000
I'm going to run a home depost
so that we have a copper rod.

1512
01:39:26,039 --> 01:39:28,119
And he said fine. I mean, so he goes up, he does

1513
01:39:28,119 --> 01:39:30,000
his healing. I walk downstairs.
I sho you not. I walk out

1514
01:39:30,039 --> 01:39:32,680
of the front of the school and
nursing and a security guard is standing there

1515
01:39:32,680 --> 01:39:35,279
with a copper ROTI he was we
found this at the entrance to the school.

1516
01:39:35,800 --> 01:39:41,079
Is this yours? I held it
up, I ran upstairs. I'm

1517
01:39:41,079 --> 01:39:45,279
like, it came back. It
came back. And I think, you

1518
01:39:45,319 --> 01:39:48,199
know, I believe that we all
have these mystical experiences over our life,

1519
01:39:48,239 --> 01:39:54,159
right that help connect us to and
and let us know that there is something

1520
01:39:54,159 --> 01:39:56,520
else going on. But over time, in the same way that you were

1521
01:39:56,520 --> 01:39:59,039
saying, if you have a good
idea, you don't tell anybody right.

1522
01:39:59,079 --> 01:40:02,840
Over time you tell people these things, and they tell you and you start

1523
01:40:02,880 --> 01:40:06,319
to doubt them. And even now
as I'm talking about this, you know,

1524
01:40:06,359 --> 01:40:09,920
I'm like, Jesus, probably sounds
crazy, but it doesn't. Well,

1525
01:40:10,800 --> 01:40:13,640
you're talking to the right person,
because it doesn't necessarily sound crazy to

1526
01:40:13,640 --> 01:40:18,039
me because I I don't know.
I grew up in that woodstock hippie dippy

1527
01:40:18,159 --> 01:40:24,720
weird strange stuff. And then as
I got older, Uh, you know,

1528
01:40:24,800 --> 01:40:29,840
you you talked about recovering Catholic.
I've talked about a lot. How

1529
01:40:30,039 --> 01:40:35,479
I come from a very Irish Catholic
family, my father was of philosophy was

1530
01:40:35,520 --> 01:40:40,680
really his thing, and went for
his PhD and philosophy and didn't feel like

1531
01:40:40,680 --> 01:40:44,000
he was getting enough out of the
church. So at seven I switched to

1532
01:40:44,479 --> 01:40:47,279
more of what was an old Quaker
church but Protestant. Well, that was

1533
01:40:47,359 --> 01:40:49,319
like the worst thing you could do
in my family. I mean, that

1534
01:40:49,399 --> 01:40:53,840
was it. We didn't get my
mother didn't get invited to my grandfather her,

1535
01:40:54,039 --> 01:40:58,279
she's the oldest, he really honest
to God, pride and joy of

1536
01:40:58,319 --> 01:41:00,920
his life. Didn't talk to her. Year he was retiring from the fire

1537
01:41:00,920 --> 01:41:04,680
department in New York City, was
not invited to the retirement party because of

1538
01:41:04,720 --> 01:41:11,039
this, because northern Southern Ireland,
and that wasn't yeah. And so but

1539
01:41:11,079 --> 01:41:15,720
then all my life, as I've
gone through different things, and you go

1540
01:41:15,800 --> 01:41:19,760
through different experiences, and I don't
know that I've ever i would say studied

1541
01:41:19,840 --> 01:41:26,359
anything necessarily, but for a while
Buddhism was very interesting to me, and

1542
01:41:26,399 --> 01:41:32,279
this idea of we live forever and
the energy and positivity and finding the joy

1543
01:41:32,359 --> 01:41:35,800
and even the things we don't like
to do, and that there's always and

1544
01:41:36,239 --> 01:41:41,159
so that was mine. And then
at one point I think that I think

1545
01:41:41,640 --> 01:41:45,840
I will say this. I think
there are teachers on the planet, and

1546
01:41:45,880 --> 01:41:51,359
I think doctor deep is it sounds
like one of these teachers and is in

1547
01:41:51,319 --> 01:41:56,720
an intuitive in some way that we
don't understand. And so then I,

1548
01:41:57,079 --> 01:42:00,560
you know, and we're so based
in a judae Christian society, right,

1549
01:42:00,640 --> 01:42:05,039
and our calendars that and all that, so okay, so there's a lot

1550
01:42:05,039 --> 01:42:10,119
of that influence. And then they
started listening times to Tony Robbins, and

1551
01:42:10,119 --> 01:42:12,239
I thought, I think there was
some real practicality there, but there was

1552
01:42:12,279 --> 01:42:15,319
something about it I didn't really like, and I, you know, different

1553
01:42:15,319 --> 01:42:19,039
things. And so I've talked to
my sister and she said to me,

1554
01:42:19,800 --> 01:42:26,640
have you ever heard of Esther Hicks? And I said no? And Esther

1555
01:42:26,800 --> 01:42:34,279
Hicks is this woman who it depends
on what you read, but she is

1556
01:42:34,720 --> 01:42:43,039
somebody that goes around and she holds
seminars and things and you can do cruises

1557
01:42:43,039 --> 01:42:50,800
with her and all, and she
channels the source and talks basically all the

1558
01:42:50,840 --> 01:42:57,960
stuff that I say, which had
and I fully believe and have done in

1559
01:42:58,000 --> 01:43:02,399
my life. And I don't know. I find that almost daily I'll find

1560
01:43:02,439 --> 01:43:05,880
her on YouTube and just listen,
and there's always something in there, and

1561
01:43:05,920 --> 01:43:12,119
it's always about going for the better
feeling thought. It's about life's never gonna

1562
01:43:12,119 --> 01:43:14,720
stop coming at you, but how
you react to it, and that you

1563
01:43:14,760 --> 01:43:17,399
want to get on a she'll say
the term high flying disc and that really

1564
01:43:17,439 --> 01:43:23,760
the only work in life is to
be happy. And it's about the journey.

1565
01:43:23,880 --> 01:43:26,640
Yeah, And it's about the journey. It's satisfaction. So I think

1566
01:43:26,680 --> 01:43:31,279
what she says too, and it's
a it's about the journey because and one

1567
01:43:31,319 --> 01:43:35,399
of the things that this person says
is you never get it done and you

1568
01:43:35,479 --> 01:43:39,960
never get it wrong. It's right. So even the things we look at

1569
01:43:40,000 --> 01:43:44,239
in life, well this failed will
that, Yeah, but be kinder to

1570
01:43:44,279 --> 01:43:50,159
yourself and be a little more buoyant. And let's not excuse me cold the

1571
01:43:50,239 --> 01:43:54,640
cork under the water so much and
let it kind of ride this way,

1572
01:43:54,680 --> 01:43:58,079
and that there are streams of consciousness
and there are streams and waves and all

1573
01:43:58,079 --> 01:44:01,640
this stuff that I go. That's
the one that has connected with me for

1574
01:44:01,720 --> 01:44:08,000
years and I fully fully believe,
and I can tell you have hanged had

1575
01:44:08,479 --> 01:44:13,800
massive change in my life and everything's
going fine, you know what I mean,

1576
01:44:13,840 --> 01:44:17,520
everything like And that's where so I've
done things where I had listed gratitudes,

1577
01:44:17,560 --> 01:44:19,840
things I appreciate every day. Right, I did that for a long

1578
01:44:19,880 --> 01:44:23,920
time. You know what I do
now? I sit down and I write

1579
01:44:24,359 --> 01:44:29,159
how great the day was, as
though I lived it, how great the

1580
01:44:29,239 --> 01:44:32,279
day already was. I am so
happy and grateful for boom boom boom,

1581
01:44:32,279 --> 01:44:39,119
boom boom and even and when there's
days I haven't done it, I've done

1582
01:44:39,159 --> 01:44:42,359
a complete spiral. I'm not gonna
tell you that it's a cakewalk every day.

1583
01:44:42,680 --> 01:44:45,920
I think on Saturday, it was
a gorgeous day here, beautiful day.

1584
01:44:45,960 --> 01:44:47,760
I didn't leave my couch. I
taught a boxing class. I went

1585
01:44:47,800 --> 01:44:51,199
home and I did not leave my
couch. I was in a miserable mood.

1586
01:44:51,319 --> 01:44:55,239
I was awful. But I didn't
do any of the stuff that I

1587
01:44:55,279 --> 01:44:58,560
would normally do. I didn't start
my day the way I would always start

1588
01:44:58,560 --> 01:45:00,159
my day. I start my day. I get up at like six thirty.

1589
01:45:00,199 --> 01:45:04,119
I jump in a cold shower to
wake myself up. I sit for

1590
01:45:04,159 --> 01:45:08,840
fifteen minutes. I stretch, I
go for a run. I come back.

1591
01:45:09,239 --> 01:45:13,000
I do an ab thing because I'm
getting I call my flabs. And

1592
01:45:13,039 --> 01:45:15,680
then I sit down and I write
how I expect the day to go.

1593
01:45:15,720 --> 01:45:17,680
I get my shower, and I
come here and that's what I do.

1594
01:45:18,199 --> 01:45:23,800
Or sometimes I'll prepare food that I
can bring here, like an egg wrap

1595
01:45:23,920 --> 01:45:27,520
with jeddar and avocado and and that
kind of stuff. And that's what I've

1596
01:45:27,520 --> 01:45:30,720
been doing. And I've only been
doing that probably for the last month.

1597
01:45:31,560 --> 01:45:36,239
That others shit I've been doing for
years something some variation of that for years

1598
01:45:36,239 --> 01:45:39,319
and years now. When I was
in radio, I had to get up

1599
01:45:39,319 --> 01:45:41,159
at three o'clock in the morning.
I wasn't running, and I wasn't but

1600
01:45:41,199 --> 01:45:44,159
I did do the cold shower,
and I did do the meditation, and

1601
01:45:44,199 --> 01:45:46,920
then while I was doing the news
on Wham during commercials, I would start

1602
01:45:46,920 --> 01:45:51,600
writing down things. I appreciate it. I think that's fantastic, just saying

1603
01:45:51,680 --> 01:45:56,600
it always it always worked, it
always help. Yeah, I'm a believer.

1604
01:45:57,159 --> 01:45:59,479
I am too. I had a
feeling you'd be receptive to some of

1605
01:45:59,520 --> 01:46:03,039
this, super receptive to it.
The book I think is fantastic. I

1606
01:46:03,079 --> 01:46:08,159
think it's really good for parents to
read. Even if you feel like some

1607
01:46:08,239 --> 01:46:11,600
of it. Maybe there's a lot
you cite a lot in the book,

1608
01:46:11,880 --> 01:46:14,600
right, So there's a lot of
that stuff and maybe people who don't know,

1609
01:46:14,920 --> 01:46:17,520
but I can tell you that just
that the a little bit. I

1610
01:46:17,560 --> 01:46:21,920
read the chapter on what was fantastic, and I just love the apply theory

1611
01:46:21,960 --> 01:46:26,640
and the whole thing of meeting the
kid where they are. Nothing's wrong with

1612
01:46:26,680 --> 01:46:30,159
anybody, We just have to meet
them where they are. And I think

1613
01:46:30,159 --> 01:46:32,079
we look at things a little wrong. Do you mind if we do one

1614
01:46:32,119 --> 01:46:35,479
more thing and take it to a
little more practical Absolutely, all right,

1615
01:46:35,520 --> 01:46:40,159
we'll do that. We'll take just
a moment and we'll do that next.

1616
01:46:40,199 --> 01:46:43,039
But first, well, Connery's Irish
Pub. It's a great place to just

1617
01:46:43,119 --> 01:46:46,279
go and unwind and escape from life
for a little bit. You ever notice

1618
01:46:46,479 --> 01:46:51,159
that when you're around certain people you
just feel happier. Yeah, when you

1619
01:46:51,239 --> 01:46:56,800
walk into Mall Conres you're around happy
people. That is contagious. You know,

1620
01:46:56,840 --> 01:46:59,399
your bad mood can be contagious.
If you're in a kind of a

1621
01:46:59,439 --> 01:47:01,720
funky mood, go over there.
There's gonna be too much happiness in the

1622
01:47:01,720 --> 01:47:06,399
air for you to even bring your
funkiness. It'll just go away. It's

1623
01:47:06,439 --> 01:47:12,760
like a nice little escape and it's
like getting away maybe the Ireland, like

1624
01:47:12,760 --> 01:47:15,800
a little Irish pub, a little
Irish happiness, and then you head home

1625
01:47:15,840 --> 01:47:18,600
and you bring that vibe home.
How great is that? You know who

1626
01:47:18,640 --> 01:47:21,600
could yell at you for going out
for a couple of bruis. Then you

1627
01:47:21,680 --> 01:47:26,279
come home a little lighter, a
little happier. You bring that cheer into

1628
01:47:26,319 --> 01:47:30,600
your life. Mul Conrey's Irish pub. You can find more online at Mulconres

1629
01:47:30,640 --> 01:47:34,359
dot com and right there in person
with all its happiness at seventeen Liftbridge Lane

1630
01:47:34,399 --> 01:47:39,079
East in Fairport, New York.
Baby, but the hottest kicks in town,

1631
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1632
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red apparel resell shot located inside of
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1633
01:47:46,359 --> 01:47:49,880
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1634
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Wall of Jeezy's and more. Get
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1635
01:47:53,760 --> 01:47:57,079
at the Plug five eight five We
got a soul spot for them sneaks too.

1636
01:47:57,199 --> 01:47:59,319
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as they used to be, you

1637
01:47:59,359 --> 01:48:02,359
can get them read or customized.
Plug Finally five in the East View Mall.

1638
01:48:02,439 --> 01:48:04,479
And if you can't make it,
then be sure to look out for

1639
01:48:04,520 --> 01:48:14,920
the Plug but to pull up on
you. It's the only place to connect

1640
01:48:14,920 --> 01:48:19,680
YouTube, Twitter, Facebook. Two. I feel like getting close to you

1641
01:48:20,560 --> 01:48:26,239
used to be strangers, but now
that's not true because I read and hear

1642
01:48:26,439 --> 01:48:31,279
all about you. It does not
matter if you don't reply. Nowhere friends,

1643
01:48:31,359 --> 01:48:35,520
Now that's no lying, and you
always say good morning, hello and

1644
01:48:35,760 --> 01:48:41,960
by and know where you go,
how you feel and why. I always

1645
01:48:41,960 --> 01:48:44,800
say, we're telling ourselves on social
media more than anything, right, I

1646
01:48:44,800 --> 01:48:48,560
mean, we do this all the
time. So here's my question for you,

1647
01:48:48,640 --> 01:48:54,439
Doc, is that we look at
things now, we see what is

1648
01:48:54,560 --> 01:48:59,079
society and how much we're influenced by
social media, and a lot of times

1649
01:48:59,439 --> 01:49:05,479
my theory is that I don't think
we're as divided as social media would have

1650
01:49:05,600 --> 01:49:10,600
us believe. And then when we
believe it, it's a right. It's

1651
01:49:10,279 --> 01:49:14,560
all this is a thought. It's
hard to argue with that right. And

1652
01:49:14,640 --> 01:49:19,279
I think that the loudest are the
fringes. And then people get so angry,

1653
01:49:19,680 --> 01:49:25,000
so angry about whatever it is,
whether it be Megan Rapino and the

1654
01:49:25,159 --> 01:49:28,279
US women's soccer team, and they're
happy that they lost, and she's been

1655
01:49:28,359 --> 01:49:30,880
kneeling and we don't know why.
And and my thing is the greatest thing

1656
01:49:30,880 --> 01:49:34,479
about this country is freedom. You
have to accept that as much as you

1657
01:49:34,560 --> 01:49:39,199
can, you know, not for
all the things you want to do.

1658
01:49:39,520 --> 01:49:41,960
That's part. That's the ugly side. Well, I guess we could call

1659
01:49:42,000 --> 01:49:46,960
it freedom. But I wonder like
when we see things happening in the world,

1660
01:49:47,199 --> 01:49:51,159
and boy, you get so many
opinions and so many voices coming at

1661
01:49:51,199 --> 01:49:57,960
you and social media, and I
think that's what has really led to this

1662
01:49:58,119 --> 01:50:01,960
divisiveness that's in the country right now. And then we start to then we

1663
01:50:02,039 --> 01:50:05,680
take it too well back in our
day, and how soft people are now

1664
01:50:05,760 --> 01:50:12,119
and this acceptance of every different thing. And I'm pan sexual, and people

1665
01:50:12,159 --> 01:50:15,600
get so angry about all this.
And I've always thought, if we were

1666
01:50:15,640 --> 01:50:18,520
really to break it down, the
fact that you have to declare your sexuality

1667
01:50:18,520 --> 01:50:23,159
when you walk in the door,
it seems a little ridiculous. It shouldn't

1668
01:50:23,159 --> 01:50:25,840
matter, right, what do you
do behind closed doors shouldn't matter. But

1669
01:50:26,039 --> 01:50:29,680
okay, and that's that's fine.
And I understand that many for many,

1670
01:50:29,720 --> 01:50:33,560
many years, lives were people couldn't
be who they were for many years.

1671
01:50:33,640 --> 01:50:40,079
But I do wonder like all this
stuff that goes on, because now I

1672
01:50:40,600 --> 01:50:45,079
saw something today and it went back
to being soft for football. Eric.

1673
01:50:45,239 --> 01:50:50,199
I think it's Eric Banamy. He
was the offensive coordinator with Yes. Now

1674
01:50:50,199 --> 01:50:55,119
he's with the Commanders and so everybody
he's assistant head coach, and they're saying

1675
01:50:55,159 --> 01:50:59,720
that he's too tough at training camp. Now I can understand where everybody's you

1676
01:50:59,720 --> 01:51:02,239
know, I get hurt before the
season begins. It's terrible. And don't

1677
01:51:02,279 --> 01:51:05,840
get the impression that that's what's happening
though I don't either, So I don't

1678
01:51:05,840 --> 01:51:12,319
know have we gotten softer this idea? Like if you talk to certain people

1679
01:51:12,399 --> 01:51:15,079
like, wow, there's no real
men anymore? Well, what is a

1680
01:51:15,079 --> 01:51:18,720
man? What is a man by
by definition? To you? Is it

1681
01:51:18,840 --> 01:51:21,880
somebody that works with their hands?
Is it somebody that's emotionally available? Is

1682
01:51:21,880 --> 01:51:25,840
it somebody like all these different things? And I go, boy, we

1683
01:51:25,840 --> 01:51:29,800
we put so many opinions out there
that I think people get confused and don't

1684
01:51:29,920 --> 01:51:32,760
know. And I always think,
like, you kind of have your own

1685
01:51:32,760 --> 01:51:35,960
inner guidance system, you know what
the answer is to these things. Just

1686
01:51:36,039 --> 01:51:40,399
follow your own inner voice, your
own inner guidance system, and you know

1687
01:51:40,479 --> 01:51:44,840
what's right and you know what's wrong. So I have three and there's so

1688
01:51:44,880 --> 01:51:46,520
many different ways to answer that question. Yeah, well it's all over the

1689
01:51:46,520 --> 01:51:49,520
place. Yeah, and I wrote
a few things down just to make sure.

1690
01:51:49,560 --> 01:51:56,079
I so. First thing is,
I'm a big believer that in discomfort,

1691
01:51:56,199 --> 01:52:00,319
Right, I think that we are
meant to be uncomfortable sometimes and we

1692
01:52:00,439 --> 01:52:03,199
can grow a lot, and that
we develop resilience and coping skills from being

1693
01:52:03,279 --> 01:52:05,840
uncomfortable sometimes. Right. It's one
of the things I love about hiking in

1694
01:52:05,840 --> 01:52:09,319
the ad arouondex Is. I was
just gonna say that forty six peak.

1695
01:52:09,359 --> 01:52:12,279
I know people who have wanted to
do that and have talked about what a

1696
01:52:12,399 --> 01:52:16,520
challenge it is. If I'm,
you know, ten miles from anywhere and

1697
01:52:16,680 --> 01:52:19,199
uh, you know, I feel
like I'm I'm you know, and I'm

1698
01:52:19,199 --> 01:52:21,640
throwing up on the side of the
trail. Right the next week at work,

1699
01:52:21,800 --> 01:52:26,359
if I encounter a problem, I
can just remember where I was that

1700
01:52:26,359 --> 01:52:28,359
that day, and I know I
got through it, and I know,

1701
01:52:28,439 --> 01:52:31,319
and I think those experiences are are
really important. I think it's part of

1702
01:52:31,319 --> 01:52:36,680
the benefit of nature to some extent. I think social media is processed information.

1703
01:52:36,800 --> 01:52:39,760
Right, We're to look at it
the same way that we look do

1704
01:52:39,800 --> 01:52:44,800
processed food at some point, Right, it's it's it's processed information. And

1705
01:52:44,800 --> 01:52:48,640
and we already know that the algorithm
that they you know that they develop social

1706
01:52:48,680 --> 01:52:53,680
media with that most of these platforms
run on is made to anger us and

1707
01:52:54,000 --> 01:52:56,680
divide us. Right, That's that's
what's going to keep our eyes on it.

1708
01:52:56,720 --> 01:53:00,840
That's why we watch it. There's
also a research are on the biological

1709
01:53:00,920 --> 01:53:04,640
end of things that look at plastics, right, thalates, and are you

1710
01:53:04,680 --> 01:53:09,680
familiar with any of that? It's
we actually men are born now with fifty

1711
01:53:09,720 --> 01:53:13,199
percent less toasterone than we were in
nineteen seventy six. Right, so the

1712
01:53:13,279 --> 01:53:16,079
year I was in I think it
started and I was born in seventy six

1713
01:53:16,399 --> 01:53:20,520
were men being born now? Boys
being born now are generally born with fifty

1714
01:53:20,560 --> 01:53:25,640
percent less tosterone, which we attribute
to falates, plastics, plastics in the

1715
01:53:25,680 --> 01:53:30,279
water. Because I by water by
the case, I should go to this

1716
01:53:30,359 --> 01:53:33,239
bottle from now on. It only
I'm also guilty of it. Yeah,

1717
01:53:33,279 --> 01:53:36,399
I went buy it by the case, and I haven't here the fridge of

1718
01:53:36,439 --> 01:53:40,079
stocks here. You can't avoid it. It's in everything, you can't avoid

1719
01:53:40,119 --> 01:53:43,159
it. It's it's I mean the
falates are you know? And I think

1720
01:53:43,159 --> 01:53:46,840
I do a good job because every
cycle and they say ninety percent of what

1721
01:53:46,840 --> 01:53:50,520
were your cycle goes in the ocean. Anyway, there's gonna be more believe

1722
01:53:50,600 --> 01:53:55,600
that it would be more plastic than
fish twenty thirty four or something like that.

1723
01:53:55,600 --> 01:53:59,279
They said, Uh so, I
think there's different ways of looking at

1724
01:53:59,319 --> 01:54:02,279
it, right. I think in
general people we people are more comfortable than

1725
01:54:02,279 --> 01:54:04,720
they used to be. Our kids
are more comfortable. We don't have we've

1726
01:54:04,720 --> 01:54:09,319
got more things to help people be
more comfortable. Yeah, right, and

1727
01:54:09,399 --> 01:54:13,840
so they a lot of people don't
get to experience the types of discomfort during

1728
01:54:14,439 --> 01:54:17,880
development that lead to resilience and what
we would call, you know, being

1729
01:54:17,920 --> 01:54:23,119
tough. Okay, right, Yeah. Part of it certainly is social media,

1730
01:54:23,199 --> 01:54:26,359
you know, and then the processed
information that we're feeding people, and

1731
01:54:26,399 --> 01:54:30,159
then there's no denying that there's something
going on, you know, biologically too.

1732
01:54:30,520 --> 01:54:33,119
We're just still figuring that out,
you know. Valleys is just one

1733
01:54:33,159 --> 01:54:41,680
example. Okay, that's that's interesting. I am I boy. I never

1734
01:54:41,720 --> 01:54:45,680
thought of kind of the uh the
idea of I guess it's always in my

1735
01:54:45,680 --> 01:54:54,880
mind, pushing yourself and sometimes I
nowadays try to use words that wouldn't be

1736
01:54:55,000 --> 01:54:59,399
like grind and all that stuff,
because you still got to do it anyway,

1737
01:54:59,439 --> 01:55:02,960
but when you grind, it's like
right, and I start to think,

1738
01:55:02,960 --> 01:55:09,039
but I try to find a different
word to associate that with. But

1739
01:55:09,680 --> 01:55:15,000
I have found throughout my life that
when I was what I would consider at

1740
01:55:15,079 --> 01:55:19,920
my best was when I had a
routine and it included exercise, and I

1741
01:55:19,960 --> 01:55:26,640
would go and push myself and I
do now. I went yesterday, I

1742
01:55:26,800 --> 01:55:30,680
left here and it was one of
these things where I had a bunch of

1743
01:55:30,720 --> 01:55:32,800
work and I'm like, yeah,
you know, and I really and it's

1744
01:55:32,840 --> 01:55:36,199
amazing. I'm trying to figure out
how to sort of delegate some of the

1745
01:55:36,199 --> 01:55:43,479
things that I'm doing that seem to
be important but not for me, you

1746
01:55:43,520 --> 01:55:45,000
know what I mean, Like somebody
else should be doing this because it just

1747
01:55:45,000 --> 01:55:47,279
takes up too much time. And
I'm like, I really can't go to

1748
01:55:47,319 --> 01:55:50,800
do this workout class. And I
went and it's a strength class and I'm

1749
01:55:50,840 --> 01:55:54,840
the only guy in this strength class
and it's all weights and stuff and you're

1750
01:55:55,039 --> 01:55:58,079
squatting and doing it. At one
point, the instructor says, I'm like,

1751
01:55:58,399 --> 01:56:00,720
how you feeling, Bill Moran,
And I go like, I'd get

1752
01:56:00,800 --> 01:56:03,760
arrested if I did this in public. You know what I'm saying it looks,

1753
01:56:04,199 --> 01:56:09,800
but it's one of these things where
I like the idea. I've always

1754
01:56:10,239 --> 01:56:12,399
you know, I ran for a
bunch of years. I played a bunch

1755
01:56:12,439 --> 01:56:15,359
of team sports. I did all
that. I like that idea. I

1756
01:56:15,439 --> 01:56:18,760
feel best when I'm pushing. It
just makes me feel good. That's why

1757
01:56:18,960 --> 01:56:21,720
I found I have to get up
and run in the morning. I gotta

1758
01:56:21,760 --> 01:56:25,039
do it, even if it's just
a mile. I gotta go do that

1759
01:56:25,359 --> 01:56:27,840
because it just makes me feel good. And there are mornings, man,

1760
01:56:27,960 --> 01:56:31,000
I don't want to do it.
I can feel like everything feels a little

1761
01:56:31,000 --> 01:56:34,399
tighter now, you know, And
yet at when I'm done, I feel

1762
01:56:34,439 --> 01:56:38,479
great. Yeah, I feel great. And there is something about being able

1763
01:56:38,520 --> 01:56:42,840
to recall I got through this,
and the idea that this two show pass

1764
01:56:43,720 --> 01:56:45,199
is a little more digestible when you
can do that sort of stuff, you're

1765
01:56:45,239 --> 01:56:47,760
right. I mean, I think
that's a that's a big it's a big

1766
01:56:47,800 --> 01:56:53,520
deal. And I think sometimes I
don't know if it's pushing kids, but

1767
01:56:53,600 --> 01:56:58,079
more exposing kids, you know,
and the satisfaction you get from stuff.

1768
01:56:58,399 --> 01:57:00,560
You look like a guy, I
don't know that you work with your hands,

1769
01:57:00,560 --> 01:57:03,000
you do things around the house and
stuff you can constantly. Yeah,

1770
01:57:03,680 --> 01:57:06,800
I could tell. And there is
something like make fun of my hands just

1771
01:57:06,880 --> 01:57:11,720
yesterday, or we were camping and
when and I kid it around the fire,

1772
01:57:11,760 --> 01:57:15,520
told me my hands like bust it
up. Yeah, okay, But

1773
01:57:15,000 --> 01:57:19,560
I've always been a believer like radio
was one of these things any and less

1774
01:57:19,560 --> 01:57:23,239
so to a podcast, because there's
something a little more tangible. It stays

1775
01:57:23,239 --> 01:57:26,760
there, right, it stays.
But radio it was gone. So you

1776
01:57:26,880 --> 01:57:30,439
at the end of the day,
you had nothing. You didn't realize you

1777
01:57:30,479 --> 01:57:35,640
had no idea as to how you
actually did until three months after everything because

1778
01:57:35,640 --> 01:57:39,159
the ratings wouldn't come out for that
long, So you had no idea how

1779
01:57:39,239 --> 01:57:42,720
I feel about therapy, right exactly. Okay, so there's nothing tangible,

1780
01:57:42,760 --> 01:57:45,439
so then you would I always thought, yeah, but that's where you know,

1781
01:57:45,600 --> 01:57:48,279
working with your hands, hanging a
door, you can walk away and

1782
01:57:48,319 --> 01:57:51,520
go I did that, mowing the
lawn. I did that. There's some

1783
01:57:51,640 --> 01:57:59,000
satisfaction in that. And I really
think that there's a real benefit for the

1784
01:57:59,000 --> 01:58:01,560
person in that. I really do. Yeah, I under I agree.

1785
01:58:01,760 --> 01:58:05,159
That's where like climbing the forty six, Yeah, that's amazing, and the

1786
01:58:05,199 --> 01:58:09,760
research supports that too. Right where
we're looking at I mean that we're actually

1787
01:58:09,840 --> 01:58:14,399
learning. There's certain activities, certain
exercises, and things that are better than

1788
01:58:14,439 --> 01:58:17,279
others in that regard. Right,
we're learning the jumping rope for whatever reason,

1789
01:58:17,319 --> 01:58:21,119
and dancing. Jumping rope and dancing
are in the literature two of the

1790
01:58:21,119 --> 01:58:28,319
most effective exercises at helping anxiety and
ADHD in some cases. If you the

1791
01:58:28,359 --> 01:58:31,479
repetitiveness of it, it's something about
using your mind. It's it's because you've

1792
01:58:31,479 --> 01:58:35,640
got to really think while you're while
you're engaged in the activity, right,

1793
01:58:35,720 --> 01:58:39,640
And so dancing too, you know, you're thinking about your moves. You're

1794
01:58:40,359 --> 01:58:42,800
you know, with with jumping rope, if you're doing it the way you

1795
01:58:42,840 --> 01:58:46,279
would for boxing, right, you're
and so there's something about connecting that kind

1796
01:58:46,319 --> 01:58:51,840
of mindfulness with the activity. Right. It's funny. I always said that

1797
01:58:51,880 --> 01:58:57,000
about racing cars. I could see
that only that there's nothing else you can

1798
01:58:57,079 --> 01:59:00,279
think about in that moment. Yep, because you're going so fast, somebody's

1799
01:59:00,359 --> 01:59:03,840
that close to you. You've got
to and there's nothing else. There's nothing,

1800
01:59:04,119 --> 01:59:08,239
there's nothing like you could have had
the worst argument with your spouse.

1801
01:59:08,680 --> 01:59:13,960
However, something that was important or
trivial and you're not even thinking of that.

1802
01:59:13,680 --> 01:59:16,880
It can't even be in your mind
because you're so focused. And probably

1803
01:59:16,920 --> 01:59:21,000
the same thing with skipping rope.
I haven't skipped rope on a regular basis,

1804
01:59:21,000 --> 01:59:25,359
and a long time I loved skipping
rope, and I did. I

1805
01:59:25,359 --> 01:59:28,520
always loved it. Yeah, that
was always. When I grew up boxing

1806
01:59:28,560 --> 01:59:30,720
too, we were talking about boxing
on the brake and that's uh one of

1807
01:59:30,760 --> 01:59:34,119
the UH ants. I think one
of the best exercises you can have.

1808
01:59:34,199 --> 01:59:36,600
And I prescribe that to my clients. I have clients who come in and

1809
01:59:36,600 --> 01:59:41,000
you recognize that there's some clients who
aren't getting enough activity. There's people aren't

1810
01:59:41,000 --> 01:59:45,920
getting outside enough UH and so you
know, I'll challenge them to, you

1811
01:59:45,960 --> 01:59:48,279
know, learn how to you know, skip rope so that they can get

1812
01:59:48,319 --> 01:59:50,479
get it under, you know,
get get it under, you know,

1813
01:59:50,560 --> 01:59:54,920
jump twice, you know, or
jump once and you know, swing it

1814
01:59:54,960 --> 01:59:59,039
twice or Yeah, I'll challenge them
to spend as much time outside as they

1815
01:59:59,079 --> 02:00:01,479
spend on screen. In fact,
a lot of the families that I work

1816
02:00:01,520 --> 02:00:03,720
with, you know, I get
referred a lot because of the work that

1817
02:00:03,720 --> 02:00:06,000
I do with video games. I
get referred a lot of people who are

1818
02:00:06,079 --> 02:00:10,079
quote unquote, you know, addicted
to video games. Right, Usually the

1819
02:00:10,079 --> 02:00:12,520
first thing I have to do when
I'm talking to them is make sure they

1820
02:00:12,520 --> 02:00:15,439
know what I do, because you
know that I don't treat video a game

1821
02:00:15,439 --> 02:00:18,560
addiction, although some of the work
that I do sometimes seems to be helpful

1822
02:00:18,560 --> 02:00:24,159
in that regard, But then we
end up having to talk a lot about

1823
02:00:24,159 --> 02:00:27,199
setting boundaries and figuring out how do
we You know, this kid will not

1824
02:00:27,239 --> 02:00:29,600
do his homework because he just wants
to be on video games, and he

1825
02:00:29,720 --> 02:00:31,760
rages every time I try to get
him off. And one rule that's worked

1826
02:00:31,800 --> 02:00:34,880
really well is tell him that he
can spend as much time on the screen

1827
02:00:34,960 --> 02:00:38,600
as he spends outside. Once he
spends you know, if he spends three

1828
02:00:38,640 --> 02:00:40,880
hours outside, he can come in
and spend three hours on the screen,

1829
02:00:41,199 --> 02:00:46,960
right And almost everyone that solves the
problem right there, because now the kids

1830
02:00:46,960 --> 02:00:49,800
outside they're having fun, they're getting
the benefits of being outside. And then

1831
02:00:49,840 --> 02:00:53,479
we come back in and they're doing
it to be on the screen. You

1832
02:00:53,520 --> 02:00:55,880
know, they don't want to be
outside. They're outside because they want more

1833
02:00:55,920 --> 02:00:59,079
screen time, but you know,
they're getting the benefit of being outside,

1834
02:00:59,079 --> 02:01:01,359
they're getting the benefit of holding off
on the screen time, so they're not

1835
02:01:01,359 --> 02:01:05,319
getting that instant topamine, and then
when they go and they play video games,

1836
02:01:05,520 --> 02:01:09,840
they enjoy it more. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, boy, that's

1837
02:01:09,880 --> 02:01:14,399
interesting because there is that I don't
know, the healing power of nature.

1838
02:01:14,800 --> 02:01:17,600
There is something about you get outside
and move your body, no matter what

1839
02:01:17,640 --> 02:01:21,479
the weather is, get outside,
you look around your environment, take it

1840
02:01:21,520 --> 02:01:28,279
in and move yourself and drink lots
of water. We've criminalized natural play.

1841
02:01:28,520 --> 02:01:31,399
We've you know, when you and
I were kids, my parents didn't know

1842
02:01:31,439 --> 02:01:36,079
where I was, right and now
you're a bad parent if you don't know

1843
02:01:36,079 --> 02:01:40,079
where your kid is all the time. Right Well, I don't know if

1844
02:01:40,079 --> 02:01:42,199
they had it up here, but
they used to have because we would get

1845
02:01:42,239 --> 02:01:45,159
some stations in New York City it's
ten o'clock. Do you know where your

1846
02:01:45,239 --> 02:01:48,479
children are? I don't know if
you yeah, And so okay, those

1847
02:01:48,479 --> 02:01:50,760
are the parents that were like asleep
at the wheel. I get that.

1848
02:01:50,920 --> 02:01:55,760
But and maybe they should bring that
back with the Kia boys in town.

1849
02:01:55,760 --> 02:01:59,840
I don't know. But this whole
idea that, uh, yeah, there

1850
02:01:59,880 --> 02:02:05,520
is something and I don't know,
because you're right in that now. I

1851
02:02:05,600 --> 02:02:11,199
even noticed, like I have a
thirteen year old that I find very impressive.

1852
02:02:11,199 --> 02:02:14,039
He does not live with me,
but he's one of these. He's

1853
02:02:14,159 --> 02:02:19,399
very motivated. He uh is,
I got a wonderful mind and is very

1854
02:02:19,479 --> 02:02:23,479
funny and was up here with me
for a week and then went home and

1855
02:02:23,520 --> 02:02:27,199
started a business where he's cleaning garbage
cans and he was doing that for a

1856
02:02:27,199 --> 02:02:30,479
while, and then he was selling
T shirts and now he started up yeah,

1857
02:02:30,520 --> 02:02:32,039
yeah, Jamison, and he started
up then he yes, and he

1858
02:02:32,079 --> 02:02:35,239
went out on his own and the
interviewed people and you know, all these

1859
02:02:35,279 --> 02:02:40,840
different things that I think are just
like you could put a governor on that

1860
02:02:41,640 --> 02:02:44,520
and and for what. And then
at the same time, it's all these

1861
02:02:44,520 --> 02:02:47,039
skills that school will say, well, they're not social, they're not there,

1862
02:02:47,079 --> 02:02:48,600
And then I go, well,
hang out, I go look what

1863
02:02:48,680 --> 02:02:51,760
he just did here, and why
aren't we adapting that. Not everybody's going

1864
02:02:51,800 --> 02:02:59,239
to learn the same way. And
but I think like letting kids get out

1865
02:02:59,279 --> 02:03:02,039
there and sort of experienced things is
a is a better way, and it's

1866
02:03:02,039 --> 02:03:06,399
a it's a healing way to do
things and to stop always looking over their

1867
02:03:06,399 --> 02:03:10,319
shoulder like your client had said a
little bit, you know, and it's

1868
02:03:10,359 --> 02:03:13,279
evidence base. There's a book that
came out recently called Last Child in the

1869
02:03:13,319 --> 02:03:15,960
Woods that does a good job of
presenting some of that research. My actually,

1870
02:03:16,000 --> 02:03:19,279
my oldest daughter right now is studying
to she wants to be an adventure

1871
02:03:19,279 --> 02:03:21,920
based therapist. So she wants to, uh, you know, get her

1872
02:03:21,960 --> 02:03:26,840
bachelor's in psychology and then come and
probably to Fish her to get her counsel

1873
02:03:27,199 --> 02:03:30,840
degree with me. I hope if
she wants fewer loans than she should.

1874
02:03:33,000 --> 02:03:36,560
But right now she's looking at undergrad
and when we went up to Saint Lawrence

1875
02:03:38,079 --> 02:03:41,439
and which is on the tuition exchange
with Fishers, so it's all over the

1876
02:03:41,439 --> 02:03:45,439
schools she can go to it or
reduced rate and uh, most of the

1877
02:03:45,479 --> 02:03:49,079
buildings had trees growing in them because
the there's lots of research now that says

1878
02:03:49,119 --> 02:03:54,840
we retain information better if we learn
it around trees, right, And so

1879
02:03:55,000 --> 02:03:59,760
we're this is we're just on the
precipice of really understanding which would probably go

1880
02:03:59,760 --> 02:04:03,079
back five thousand years as you were
saying, well the water stuff to Socrates

1881
02:04:03,119 --> 02:04:08,680
and others was even longer than that
probably, but where they would you would

1882
02:04:08,680 --> 02:04:12,760
talk under trees, classes would be
outside this idea of nature. It is,

1883
02:04:12,760 --> 02:04:15,399
it's a weird it's weird, and
yet we shut it off and we've

1884
02:04:15,399 --> 02:04:21,039
got these wonderful comforts and air conditioning
and big screen flat screen TVs and and

1885
02:04:21,520 --> 02:04:27,520
you know, and we're fatter than
we've ever been. Society were fatter than

1886
02:04:27,560 --> 02:04:30,359
we ever are. This is true
too. Yeah, So hopefully it's we're

1887
02:04:30,359 --> 02:04:31,840
getting to a point where there's something
going to be some integration. Yeah,

1888
02:04:31,920 --> 02:04:34,640
right, we're going to integrate,
you know, because the big screen TVs

1889
02:04:34,760 --> 02:04:38,920
and games and all this stuff is
great. Phones are great. They all

1890
02:04:38,960 --> 02:04:43,840
sorts of great things, but not
when they're at the expense of you know,

1891
02:04:43,960 --> 02:04:45,840
the other things that are important life, right, like getting out into

1892
02:04:45,880 --> 02:04:48,720
nature and exercising and those types of
things. Yeah, I think I think

1893
02:04:48,720 --> 02:04:53,479
we're just really starting to understand that. Yeah, that's very interesting. I

1894
02:04:53,560 --> 02:04:57,159
really enjoyed this. Doctor Robert Rice, he is the you're the head of

1895
02:04:57,159 --> 02:05:00,479
the Department of Saint John Fisher up
the graduate program mental health counseling and uh

1896
02:05:00,600 --> 02:05:03,920
oh so the graduate So these are
for people going for a master's you got

1897
02:05:03,920 --> 02:05:06,640
it? Can you get a doctorate
there? Now? That is the university

1898
02:05:06,720 --> 02:05:12,800
or not in that discipline. There's
an edd at Fisher in executive leadership and

1899
02:05:13,000 --> 02:05:17,880
we're in the process now of proposing
a PhD in counseling. Yeah, that'll

1900
02:05:17,920 --> 02:05:21,000
be uh hopefully that'll be in the
future. Wow, that's that's great.

1901
02:05:21,039 --> 02:05:25,520
And the book is video games and
Psychotherapy. I can get this on Amazon.

1902
02:05:25,760 --> 02:05:29,880
I would assume Amazon Rutledge as the
publisher, so Rutledge as well.

1903
02:05:29,880 --> 02:05:31,960
I shouldn't come with like a discount
code for for your listeners. I can

1904
02:05:32,000 --> 02:05:33,640
get you one a yeah, if
you if you give me one, I'll

1905
02:05:33,640 --> 02:05:38,039
make sure that I put it out
on a podcast and on social media and

1906
02:05:38,079 --> 02:05:42,359
stuff too, because I think the
book is interesting and I think that parents

1907
02:05:42,439 --> 02:05:46,079
anybody. I think that there's applications
in the book that you can apply to

1908
02:05:46,119 --> 02:05:49,600
life if you can sort of make
that transition in your mind where I was

1909
02:05:49,640 --> 02:05:54,239
saying, like meeting people where they
are that idea of the video game and

1910
02:05:54,279 --> 02:05:57,159
saying, okay, this is let's
apply it to your life. And here's

1911
02:05:57,159 --> 02:06:00,479
the music and what it changed in
somebody. And it's amazing, it really

1912
02:06:00,560 --> 02:06:03,239
is. I appreciate it. Great
work. I'm writing the book. I'm

1913
02:06:03,239 --> 02:06:06,800
happy to be a Fisher. Yeah, I'm happy that you're a Fisher too,

1914
02:06:06,840 --> 02:06:09,920
But your your art you of our
guy, and they seem to do

1915
02:06:09,960 --> 02:06:14,039
a pretty good job themselves. So
what do I know for doctor Robert Rice.

1916
02:06:14,319 --> 02:06:25,199
I'm Bill Moran. We'll see you
tomorrow. Welcome big hotel. Didn't

1917
02:06:25,199 --> 02:06:28,479
know what to do. I'm trying
a TV. You do the letter to

1918
02:06:28,560 --> 02:06:31,119
you and miss farting out of dead. Near to Mormy, Here to Steady,