WEBVTT 1 00:00:01.040 --> 00:00:08.480 Hey, hey, I'm bad with something for you to think about. How 2 00:00:08.519 --> 00:00:21.320 to avoid affairs? Well, in all honesty, for immature people, it's 3 00:00:21.320 --> 00:00:30.879 hard and most likely a lot of people, immature people will have affairs, 4 00:00:34.240 --> 00:00:41.159 and it's all because of the mindsets that they have. But if you're an 5 00:00:41.240 --> 00:00:48.679 individual who's trying to be better, who's really working on being faithful, well, 6 00:00:48.880 --> 00:00:53.200 I believe and this is just me, you should get yourself together before 7 00:00:53.240 --> 00:00:57.159 you get in a relationship, because you shouldn't be trying in a relationship. 8 00:00:57.240 --> 00:01:03.200 You should be doing. But nevertheless, I'm gonna talk about how to avoid 9 00:01:03.359 --> 00:01:14.079 affairs. First of all, it requires a person who know who he or 10 00:01:14.200 --> 00:01:22.200 she is as a person. You have to know yourself. It is necessary. 11 00:01:23.000 --> 00:01:30.159 You must know yourself first, and you must love yourself first. You 12 00:01:30.280 --> 00:01:38.239 must be at a certain level of maturity. Also, it makes all of 13 00:01:38.280 --> 00:01:48.359 the difference in the world. The issue with people having an affairs or people 14 00:01:48.920 --> 00:01:57.040 you know just wanting to be with someone else is you're inner issues that you 15 00:01:57.400 --> 00:02:04.879 have not resolved, you have not dealt with. Because what's inside of people 16 00:02:07.200 --> 00:02:17.000 is that part of you that is not visual, but it affects your life. 17 00:02:19.000 --> 00:02:23.240 You can't see it, but it affects your life. It causes you 18 00:02:24.400 --> 00:02:30.680 the mentality that you have, the mindset that you have, because people hold 19 00:02:30.879 --> 00:02:44.840 in trauma and pain, people hold it inside. When people don't allow themselves 20 00:02:44.879 --> 00:02:52.319 to heal, they carry all of this with them and it causes you. 21 00:02:53.439 --> 00:02:58.599 I've talked about it many times. It causes you insecurities, all types of 22 00:02:58.639 --> 00:03:05.120 insecurities. And it does not matter how beautiful you are inside and out, 23 00:03:06.159 --> 00:03:14.879 you still could have lots of insecurities, and most people do because who you 24 00:03:14.919 --> 00:03:23.360 see before you most times is not who that person really is. So first 25 00:03:23.400 --> 00:03:30.400 you have to deal with yourself, allow yourself to heal, mature and grow 26 00:03:30.680 --> 00:03:38.800 because people get older, but they don't become more mature in their bodies because 27 00:03:38.879 --> 00:03:45.680 their bodies are aging, but not in their minds. And that's just fact 28 00:03:45.919 --> 00:03:53.319 accept or not. That is just true fact. That's why people go through 29 00:03:53.400 --> 00:03:58.280 all of the things that they go through because of their mindsets, they have 30 00:03:58.439 --> 00:04:04.439 not gotten to that level of understanding, that level of growth mentally. So 31 00:04:04.560 --> 00:04:11.039 a lot of people get into relationship the wrong way, no foundations, no 32 00:04:11.199 --> 00:04:19.199 boundaries, no requirements, because people are basing their love so called love on 33 00:04:19.399 --> 00:04:29.680 superficial things, those things that won't last. And that is the very reason 34 00:04:30.439 --> 00:04:36.639 why many people get into relationships and on into marriages, but they're unhappy and 35 00:04:38.800 --> 00:04:47.800 one or both are having affairs, and some people have multiple because they have 36 00:04:48.000 --> 00:04:55.959 not grown mentally. They have not learned yet how to love self. When 37 00:04:56.000 --> 00:05:00.279 you love yourself, you don't do these things, yes, don't. That's 38 00:05:00.600 --> 00:05:12.000 one thing about societies all over the world. They like loop everybody together in 39 00:05:12.040 --> 00:05:16.959 the sense of, oh, women this or men this. You know, 40 00:05:17.399 --> 00:05:24.879 they loop people in together when people are not on the same level mentally. 41 00:05:26.199 --> 00:05:30.600 I'm not speaking intellectually, you know, I'm not speaking on that. I'm 42 00:05:30.639 --> 00:05:39.600 speaking mentally. In general, people are not on the same level. The 43 00:05:39.720 --> 00:05:46.759 level I'm speaking of takes growth, it takes self love, it takes maturity, 44 00:05:46.240 --> 00:05:51.360 and most people are not on that level because they're still dealing with things 45 00:05:51.800 --> 00:05:59.319 that they have not let go of. And that is one of the biggest 46 00:06:00.079 --> 00:06:08.480 factors when it comes to avoiding affairs and temptation and all of that, because 47 00:06:08.519 --> 00:06:14.680 a lot of people are still following the flesh or chasing the flesh, you 48 00:06:14.720 --> 00:06:21.319 know, self satisfaction, self gratification, money, love, things, titles, 49 00:06:21.399 --> 00:06:29.759 possessions, lusting after so much. So first It starts with you loving 50 00:06:29.759 --> 00:06:39.120 yourself, knowing yourself, because when you mature, you get to a level 51 00:06:39.439 --> 00:06:47.240 of seeing things differently and understanding things better. You get to a level of 52 00:06:48.000 --> 00:06:57.480 realizing what's most important in life and what's not as as important as you thought 53 00:06:57.480 --> 00:07:04.040 it was. You learn to value and appreciate the person you chose to be 54 00:07:04.160 --> 00:07:15.079 with. Some people completely missed the mark and they lose that person. And 55 00:07:15.279 --> 00:07:27.360 sometimes people right on the verge of losing that person and they realize that they're 56 00:07:29.079 --> 00:07:32.360 not good people and they need to change, not for that person, but 57 00:07:32.399 --> 00:07:44.199 for self. But one of the greatest things that people fail to understand is 58 00:07:44.279 --> 00:07:51.680 your mindset is everything. If you know you're in a relationship and you supposed 59 00:07:51.720 --> 00:07:57.120 to love who you're with, you shouldn't be thinking about being with anyone else. 60 00:07:57.800 --> 00:08:01.279 That shouldn't be a thought in your head. And I know many people 61 00:08:01.720 --> 00:08:05.199 think, oh, well, everybody does it. Everybody think of being with 62 00:08:05.279 --> 00:08:11.879 someone. That's a lie. And that shows you the level of immaturity for 63 00:08:11.040 --> 00:08:18.279 anyone to think that way. That's a lie because it's not true. It 64 00:08:18.399 --> 00:08:24.199 simply is not true. When you get those thoughts in your head, you 65 00:08:24.439 --> 00:08:33.480 have to be the adult to resist those thoughts and not dwell on them. 66 00:08:33.879 --> 00:08:41.440 That is the problem for everything, especially negative thoughts. When you dwell on 67 00:08:41.559 --> 00:08:45.879 things, you give power to them, and when you dwelling on being with 68 00:08:46.039 --> 00:08:50.440 someone, and most times it's because of physical attraction. Let's be real, 69 00:08:52.559 --> 00:08:58.399 it's lust of the flesh. So when you dwell on that and you dwell 70 00:08:58.519 --> 00:09:05.240 on it, and you dwell on it, then you're gonna develop feelings more 71 00:09:05.320 --> 00:09:11.840 and more until you start doing whatever you think you need to do to make 72 00:09:11.879 --> 00:09:18.879 it happen. But again that goes back to the mind of an immature person, 73 00:09:20.240 --> 00:09:28.080 because a man or a woman who's mature know themselves and love themselves and 74 00:09:28.159 --> 00:09:35.360 love who they're with. They're not trying to bring any discord in their relationship. 75 00:09:37.080 --> 00:09:43.600 They're not. I'll tell you right now, it is hard in this 76 00:09:43.720 --> 00:09:52.919 world today, trying to date. It's hard because people are liars, they're 77 00:09:54.000 --> 00:10:01.720 not who they pretend to be. And if you don't know in love yourself, 78 00:10:01.360 --> 00:10:09.799 you'll fall for it every time. You'll fall pray because they are predators 79 00:10:11.559 --> 00:10:16.840 and they're looking for vulnerable people. And some of you, you're so eager 80 00:10:18.159 --> 00:10:28.159 and you're so desperate for love that you are vulnerable and individuals who seeking vulnerable 81 00:10:28.240 --> 00:10:33.240 people will see it in you because you will show it. You will actually 82 00:10:33.320 --> 00:10:37.840 show it to them, and the things you say, the things you do, 83 00:10:39.360 --> 00:10:43.919 they will see it. And that's why so many people are taking advantage 84 00:10:43.960 --> 00:10:52.600 of and used because you're just so vulnerable and gullible. You fall for anything 85 00:10:52.639 --> 00:10:58.799 because you want love so bad. When love starts with love in yourself, 86 00:11:00.200 --> 00:11:05.919 but you don't understand that. Some of you don't want to understand that. 87 00:11:05.000 --> 00:11:11.600 You just want what you want. So when you get those thoughts of being 88 00:11:11.679 --> 00:11:16.720 with someone else, you know it's not who you chose to be with, 89 00:11:16.639 --> 00:11:24.960 you already know what's wrong. Think of it like this. Any time you 90 00:11:26.080 --> 00:11:30.720 get a thought of doing something with someone else other than the person you chose 91 00:11:30.759 --> 00:11:37.039 to be with, think about them doing that very same thing to you. 92 00:11:37.799 --> 00:11:41.480 Now, if you wouldn't care, that's because you don't love that person, 93 00:11:43.759 --> 00:11:48.799 obvious. If you don't care what they do, you obviously don't love that 94 00:11:48.840 --> 00:11:52.759 person. You don't have no business being in the relationship anyways. But that's 95 00:11:52.799 --> 00:11:56.440 the problem. So many people get into relationships they should have never gotten in. 96 00:12:00.320 --> 00:12:05.879 Marry, and I've mentioned this before, People marry and cheat on their 97 00:12:05.919 --> 00:12:11.120 wedding day, or they cheat the day before they get married, or the 98 00:12:11.200 --> 00:12:16.600 whole time up to it. They get married, and guess what, when 99 00:12:16.600 --> 00:12:24.320 they get married, they continue to cheat because that's an immature person, a 100 00:12:24.440 --> 00:12:31.639 person that needs to grow up. So if you want to avoid things like 101 00:12:31.759 --> 00:12:35.840 that, you have to be a mature person. You have to be a 102 00:12:35.879 --> 00:12:43.039 person who have healed, who have grown and matured and let go all of 103 00:12:43.080 --> 00:12:52.200 that negativity so you don't drag that stuff into your relationship. You have to 104 00:12:52.279 --> 00:12:58.519 get to that level. And unfortunately a lot of people have not a lot 105 00:12:58.519 --> 00:13:05.559 of people have gone to their and going to their graves with immature mindsets, 106 00:13:05.600 --> 00:13:20.840 still womanizing, still chasing men on into their old age, just never maturity 107 00:13:20.679 --> 00:13:35.519 because they've never allowed themselves to heal internally. Never. And when we don't 108 00:13:35.559 --> 00:13:41.720 allow ourselves to heal, all it does is rekhabit in our lives. That's 109 00:13:41.759 --> 00:13:46.799 what it does. In so many different ways. It reeks have it in 110 00:13:46.840 --> 00:13:52.960 our lives. And I mean, it does not matter who you are, 111 00:13:52.320 --> 00:13:56.840 how much money you have, how you look, your title, your position, 112 00:13:58.480 --> 00:14:03.360 It does not matter. When you are not healed and you have not 113 00:14:03.559 --> 00:14:11.559 let those inner things go that has affected you, you always, always are 114 00:14:11.600 --> 00:14:18.639 affected in some way. Look at how people in this world, how they 115 00:14:18.679 --> 00:14:26.519 follow individuals who do wrong, and I mean they worship them. It's like 116 00:14:26.559 --> 00:14:33.039 a cult. They worship people. It's like a cult. You have no 117 00:14:33.600 --> 00:14:39.000 reason to worship anyone. No one is better than you. But some of 118 00:14:39.039 --> 00:14:45.159 you, many of you, millions of you, You focus more on other 119 00:14:45.360 --> 00:14:50.799 people than you do yourself when those people don't even care nothing about you. 120 00:14:50.559 --> 00:14:56.840 But you'll give your life for these people. But they definitely wouldn't give theirs 121 00:14:56.879 --> 00:15:01.679 for you, probably wouldn't even give you a dollar if you ask. But 122 00:15:01.840 --> 00:15:11.519 because millions of people in this world have not yet matured or learned to love 123 00:15:11.679 --> 00:15:22.799 self, they can't see what they do. They just cannot see the things 124 00:15:22.840 --> 00:15:31.399 that they do in their own lives. People spend more time and energy focusing 125 00:15:31.440 --> 00:15:37.679 on other people than they do self, and that's sad, but that's the 126 00:15:37.720 --> 00:15:43.960 way it is in the world. Everyone and everything is more important than you. 127 00:15:46.759 --> 00:15:56.480 And I mean this is a real thing, it really is. Some 128 00:15:56.519 --> 00:16:02.759 of you are in relationships you're cheating. You've been cheating, You've never stopped 129 00:16:02.840 --> 00:16:10.720 cheating because that's who you are, because you don't love yourself, and you're 130 00:16:10.840 --> 00:16:18.679 still seeking voids in your life. You're still seeking someone. You need to 131 00:16:18.679 --> 00:16:26.120 have your ego stroke. You always have to be validated. You have issues. 132 00:16:26.919 --> 00:16:30.480 I mean, I got to keep it real. You have issues. 133 00:16:30.919 --> 00:16:37.519 You have to allow yourself to heal. Whatever it is, whatever have you 134 00:16:37.559 --> 00:16:41.279 in the mindset that you're in, you have to allow yourself to heal. 135 00:16:44.320 --> 00:16:48.320 And that's why some people easily fall for other people, even though they're in 136 00:16:48.720 --> 00:16:53.960 a relationship. They fall for other people. They're attracted to other people as 137 00:16:55.000 --> 00:16:59.320 soon as someone do good to them, they can't take it. They end 138 00:16:59.399 --> 00:17:03.879 up falling for that person when that person is not looking at them at all 139 00:17:03.919 --> 00:17:11.279 in that way, but they end up falling for the person because of the 140 00:17:11.839 --> 00:17:21.680 kindness the other person is showing. They just fall for them. And that's 141 00:17:21.759 --> 00:17:26.640 not a good thing because you shouldn't have your mind on someone else. If 142 00:17:26.680 --> 00:17:33.079 you've chosen to be with another person, that's who you chose, that's who 143 00:17:33.119 --> 00:17:41.359 you should be satisfied with. But again, most people are not happy or 144 00:17:41.480 --> 00:17:48.519 satisfied in their relationships because number one, they're not happy or satisfied with them 145 00:17:48.720 --> 00:17:55.720 self, and they realize that that other person can't do it for them either. 146 00:17:56.759 --> 00:18:03.920 And sometimes people stay together, but they're far apart, and I just 147 00:18:03.960 --> 00:18:11.559 think it's just terrible. What's the point. But that's what a lot of 148 00:18:11.559 --> 00:18:18.960 people choose. So if you wanna avoid affairs, grow up. Grow the 149 00:18:19.039 --> 00:18:29.759 heck up, grow up, because if you don't, you're gonna always see 150 00:18:29.880 --> 00:18:38.440 someone that you feel look better than who you're with, because somebody mightter a 151 00:18:38.640 --> 00:18:42.160 fact, many people will look better than who you're with. I don't care 152 00:18:42.200 --> 00:18:48.480 how beautiful they are. Someone is always prettier, someone is always more handsome. 153 00:18:51.119 --> 00:18:55.119 So if that's what you're basing it on, you've messed up any ways. 154 00:19:00.920 --> 00:19:06.880 Superficial things do not hold a relationship together. Looks, titles, money, 155 00:19:07.079 --> 00:19:11.319 positions, status, None of that holds a relationship together, none of 156 00:19:11.359 --> 00:19:21.519 it. But it's what many people choose as a foundation for their relationships. 157 00:19:21.640 --> 00:19:30.799 That's why they have nothing. They have nothing because there's no solid foundation at 158 00:19:30.960 --> 00:19:45.160 all. And people start looking for something to satisfy their itch and someone else 159 00:19:45.559 --> 00:19:52.160 and then guess what they get with that person while they're with someone, and 160 00:19:52.359 --> 00:19:57.440 they find another person that satisfy another itch. That's just the way it is 161 00:20:00.279 --> 00:20:07.039 until people grow up, until people learn to love self, when people make 162 00:20:07.279 --> 00:20:17.000 self matter, when people make self a priority in their own lives, things 163 00:20:17.000 --> 00:20:26.240 begin to change. Being faithful is not hard at all. It is not 164 00:20:26.519 --> 00:20:36.880 a struggle. If it's a struggle, you're the problem. You're the problem. 165 00:20:36.960 --> 00:20:41.680 If it's a struggle, you can avoid anything you choose to avoid in 166 00:20:41.720 --> 00:20:51.319 your life. You just have to choose it. And being faithful that should 167 00:20:52.079 --> 00:20:56.759 not even be an issue for anyone if you're in a relationship, but unfortunately 168 00:20:57.200 --> 00:21:07.640 it is for many because of their mindset, immaturity, self neglect. And 169 00:21:07.759 --> 00:21:15.000 I know people don't like the truth. I know it, but I'm never 170 00:21:15.240 --> 00:21:22.960 gonna stop giving it to you because it's fat. If you want change in 171 00:21:22.000 --> 00:21:26.000 your life, if you're sick and tired of doing the same things, then 172 00:21:26.079 --> 00:21:34.480 you've got to do something different. You must grow up. You must. 173 00:21:36.160 --> 00:21:42.640 Some of you mess up every good thing you've ever had because you refuse to 174 00:21:42.759 --> 00:21:49.720 change. You always thinking someone else. It's you, but you won't acknowledge 175 00:21:49.720 --> 00:21:59.200 it. You're always messing up, You're always cheating, You're always looking at 176 00:21:59.240 --> 00:22:08.200 others when or other men, it's you who's the problem. And until people 177 00:22:08.319 --> 00:22:15.359 acknowledge self, you look in that mirror and you see you for who you 178 00:22:15.480 --> 00:22:26.759 are. You're gonna always do what you've always done, and that's just the 179 00:22:26.799 --> 00:22:33.559 way it is, believe it or not. If you want to stay faithful, 180 00:22:33.200 --> 00:22:41.640 it starts with you because you definitely can and you should. I don't 181 00:22:41.680 --> 00:22:45.960 think any person in the world should be in a relationship if you haven't gotten 182 00:22:45.000 --> 00:22:52.480 yourself together and you know who you are and you love yourself. No one. 183 00:22:52.680 --> 00:22:56.039 But that's just how I feel, because there's millions in the world who 184 00:22:56.119 --> 00:23:02.799 do just that, get into relationships, never have learned to love self, 185 00:23:03.240 --> 00:23:10.119 still holding on to things that's affecting them that they carry into their relationships, 186 00:23:10.119 --> 00:23:15.400 causing problems, and then make every excuse as to why they cheat. No, 187 00:23:15.599 --> 00:23:18.920 you cheat it because you want it to and you cheat it because that's 188 00:23:18.960 --> 00:23:22.720 who you are, and you cheat it because you need to grow up. 189 00:23:26.920 --> 00:23:37.880 Avoiding anything is possible, And like I said, being faithful isn't hard at 190 00:23:37.920 --> 00:23:45.880 all, but it is when you got that immature mindset. I don't care 191 00:23:45.920 --> 00:23:51.680 how pretty or handsome someone is. You shouldn't have a desire. You shouldn't 192 00:23:51.680 --> 00:23:59.359 have a tickle below. You shouldn't have a desire or spark rise up in 193 00:23:59.440 --> 00:24:08.039 you just because you see somebody gorgeous or someone beautiful or someone who's who's who 194 00:24:08.119 --> 00:24:12.720 you've connected with mentally, that shouldn't make you want to be with him or 195 00:24:12.759 --> 00:24:21.079 her. But some of you concentrate on the wrong things. That's why you're 196 00:24:21.160 --> 00:24:25.559 always in trouble. That's why you always doing the wrong things in your relationships 197 00:24:25.720 --> 00:24:33.000 because you're concentrating on the wrong things. Grow up. Some of you think 198 00:24:33.119 --> 00:24:37.079 all men are alike, some of you think all women are alike, and 199 00:24:37.119 --> 00:24:42.720 it's just not true. But I get it because I understand people. I 200 00:24:42.880 --> 00:24:48.440 know why people think like that, even though they don't even see it. 201 00:24:48.440 --> 00:24:57.079 It's their mindset immaturity. But most people think they are mature because they're grown, 202 00:24:57.680 --> 00:25:04.920 but so so far from the truth. So that's all I'm saying on 203 00:25:06.000 --> 00:25:15.680 it. If you want to avoid affairs, then do it. But you're 204 00:25:15.680 --> 00:25:19.759 gonna have a hard time when your mind is on doing the wrong thing. 205 00:25:21.079 --> 00:25:25.440 You're gonna have a hard time when you don't love yourself. You're gonna have 206 00:25:25.480 --> 00:25:30.079 a hard time when you have not grown and matured. You're gonna have a 207 00:25:30.119 --> 00:25:40.400 hard time when you're holding onto negativity because without healing thyself, without allowing yourself 208 00:25:40.720 --> 00:25:48.039 to let go of things, you're gonna always go through life allowing all that 209 00:25:48.079 --> 00:25:56.640 negativity to cause you to feel less than, to cause you to seek chase, 210 00:25:56.599 --> 00:26:03.720 to cause you to always want your flesh fulfilled. All of that stuff 211 00:26:03.759 --> 00:26:14.640 comes from your mindset, so it starts with you. I'm leaving it right 212 00:26:14.640 --> 00:26:18.920 there. Thank you for listening. Much love to each and every one of 213 00:26:18.960 --> 00:26:22.079 you. Please reach out to me. Go to my podcast page and I'll 214 00:26:22.079 --> 00:26:26.519 tell you how to reach out and I will respond. Thank you, giving 215 00:26:26.680 --> 00:26:32.880 much love. Please check out Relatable Life Chronicles. Check out that podcast and 216 00:26:33.000 --> 00:26:37.079 have a lot of good things for you, and share. Share this episode. 217 00:26:37.200 --> 00:26:44.319 I appreciate you. I end every episode the same and I hope you 218 00:26:44.480 --> 00:26:48.519 do it. I mean, people need to change. We are seeing some 219 00:26:48.759 --> 00:26:52.799 things going on in this world. It does not look like it's getting any 220 00:26:52.839 --> 00:27:03.200 better anytime sooner change needs to occur. In every episode the same and I 221 00:27:03.319 --> 00:27:07.079 hope you do it. Thank on it.