Oh my goodness, Hello y'all, we're over here in your ears. Oh,
welcome back to candy Chat. We're so glad to be back with y'all.
I hope we didn't startle you or surprise you, but we're here to
delight you. That was close, share was tab Well here I am using
my fun, my fun, truncated version of your name. When we haven't
properly introduced ourselves, let's do it. I'm Betty ever Saw and I'm Ta
the Hutchinson. Hi. Hello, and I know what you're thinking. Wait
a minute, what holiday could they possibly be celebrating? Now that's right,
I am. I'm also trying to figure out what all that popping and crackling
is in the background. Well, let me start by saying, no,
we have not watched too many episodes of Doctor Quinn, Medicine Woman, and
Gone Native. Can Can one watch two minute Doctor Quinn? No, it
can if you start believing that the Native people, in their savage ways are
better than Christianity. I see see. I think that that one guy who
toes the line of frontiersman and Savage is just dreamy with his locks. I
do not disagree that. Indeed, one of God's finest creatures. However,
I'm saying it is a gateway drug the same way marijuana is a gatewaye gateway.
This is television show as a gateway drug to the great beyond the dark
rain and a thousand years of blood and tar raining down upon burning our flesh,
burner, flesh. Oh my goodness, but this isn't like that.
This is now our flesh may burn because, as you may have heard a
step listener, we're with a camp fire. It's the first time we've had
a guest on our podcast. But this guest doesn't get a microphone anywhere near
it, does it, Tabitha, We're only we're only working off one mic
tonight, everybody, I thought i'd be nice and offer our guests and microphone
that our guests took a mile off the inch I gave it, so whoops,
a daisy. It's a daisy. So what we are celebrating is summertime,
outdoor, camp fire fun. Yay, Fun's fun to say. That's
how you know it's fun. You know when you're out there and maybe it's
a maybe you're on your your Bible school studies, you know you're you're you're
camping out at the church and the Bible mobile or mobile a Bible circle.
I can't tell if that glorifies the Lord or something. Fat Albert's friend wrote
around town. I think he can do both. But I'm optimistic, and
that's what I love about You've tab You always are looking for the brat's side.
That's right. I think it was fat Albert's friend Moped who wrote it
around I think his name is Nush. Now. So what we're doing tonight
is everything's smre. We can't get enough mores. Literally we can't because the
name just says smare more. Now, give me small quick question, tab
more. Do you put the apostrophe in there? And I've seen it both
ways. Sometimes I'm in such a hurry to write or even in my own
head visualize the word as to say it, that I don't put it in.
I just say smart not some more. I can hear it. Yeah,
I put the apostrophe in there, but I say it like there ain't
one in fact, to tell you the truth. I think it's weird when
people say some more. I do too. It's like saying somemoans. Stop
saying both of those, toad. It's just weird and made up. It'll
make you. It's a gateway, say some moans. I'll tell you what
that. Dwayne Johnson is just as sweet as Kenny himself, but he is
a gateway drug. I thought his tattoos. If you look at him into
a mirror, they say, Ozzy Osbourne is king. Did you know that?
I did not know that? And I was that all the way through
Hercules. I watched that and it was in a church bolt and I read
it as it says Ozzy Osborne. Well, my husband dragged me that told
Hercules in the movie theaters, and I thought there was something wrong when we
were the only ones in there. But I set through it all. I
mean it wasn't hard to sit through. I mean, he has a Samoan
god in all. But they covered up his tattoos. They do such a
good job with them, with the makeup. That is the perfect Dwayne Johnson
to me, a Dwayne Johnson who has not violated his extraordinary flesh for vanity
m A few few too many, few too many lines on the forehead.
For me, that was that was weird. He didn't have that in real
life. Well, I don't know. It's a it's a fancy hat smores
is what we're talking about tonight. You say so, and boy do we
have s'mores. Lots of people think, oh s'mores. I think I understand
that you're you're wrong. Yeah, stop it, just just be quiet for
not at all. Stop it. So hush smores. You know you think
Graham, cracker childcolate marshmallow. Yeah, and you're done, which I suppose
if you did not have any imagination or interest you could be. You're right.
Oh um uh, some canvass, some paints, some mona la.
So I guess art's done. I guess it's all over. Stop everything wrong,
that's so wrong, y'all. Good thing. There's so many brave people
out there still making art, and some moors with different recipes. So what
we've done is found a bunch of different recipes and even created our own.
What even created our own? Oh I heard you the second time. So
what we're bringing you tonight are some regular smores just you're running the meal,
yep. And we got some fancy smores. Oh these fancy smores, I'm
not kidding. Two of the ingredients we're not even available at Pigley Dog.
We had to go to all about foods. To get the fanciest parts of
the recipe that we could. And I was terrified the entire time we were
in there that they were gonna say, you're not fancy enough to be all
about foods. Get out. Yeah, I thought they were gonna because it
seemed like people were eyeing me in the aisles, and I thought they were
gonna say, you're some about foods exactly some I had it already on deck
and I was looking around and everyone who's there. I mean, I don't
know if they're indecent or they just finished working out, or it's right next
door to a gym, but everyone's wearing sport bras and those those those tat
pants, and everyone's drinking open a water before she paid for it and was
just sipping it like it was just iced tea on her own back port.
Wow. You know, the shame of it consumed me. Somebody was walking
around through there with a little glass of wife think was beer. I think
it was did you tear well? They were drinking it was in the public.
Jokes on them if a police officers in there, because that's that's that's
a federal prisoners going to federal prison for that, and you know what,
not a policeman in sight, my goodness. But you know who was inside
Jesus. Jesus saw it all. So every time they're not getting away,
I wish that they would make a CSI or see stands for Christ. That's
right, Christ, scene investigates you. That's right, Jesus. Can we
see who was guilty? Enhance? Enhance? Why enhance? I think it
is. I think it's this gentleman right here who committed the sin of glutney
in public. Yay. But then like some nice piano music instead of that
crazy guitar. Oh, that would be such a fun show. Or organ
music, you know, and I and I something from the hymn book.
Well, what if I made a T shirt out of some Sharpe's and an
old T shirt from your husband that says CSI, Christ's seen. It's so
easy to do. I think you should do it. That's a good idea.
What are we eating tonight? Smores? Oh? Yeah, so store
bought Smores, fancy Smores store. That made me so nervous. Yeah,
And then then we're gonna have some some s'more like items. These are things
that anyone can make out of the home. Maybe you don't even know you
have some more fi sins right now. Maybe we're gonna we're gonna just gonna
get right up in your mind and we're gonna plant some dynamite, and then
we're gonna make the railroad come through. And the railroad's got smores for lunch,
and then we got budget smores for you. Oh and I'm telling you
I have for these smores. Get ready, because if you go on a
vacation of any kind, these are smores that will not cost you a single
dime? Can you believe it? A free smore belief in Obama's America?
I can't believe it. Well believe it because I found a way to do
it, and Lord knows how long we'll be allowed to before they shut that
down too. They're putting cramped cameras up everywhere, you know that, and
they're just gonna fly in our backyard and bomb everything. So I don't I
don't need drones with cameras because Christ's seen it. That's right, Christ seen
investigation. Oh but it's Sean, it's a homophone. I apologize small christs
More investigation. How about that? That's a fun one, and that way
they can eat smores and they can investigate some more. Mmmmm, I see
what you did there. Okay, well I'll tell you what we can do
well. And one more thing. We got surprised moors. For my goodness,
I am going to tamp Tabitha. What yep? And I believe Tabitha.
I think this is a fair way to do it. We're gonna do
a blindfold tap a taste test. That's right, that's right, that is
right. I'm gonna I'm gonna blindfold you and I'm gonna give you this more
that I make, and you're gonna do the same. So let's just stop
talking and start and Joe hading some sweet, delicious camp fire goodness. Mm
first, up, old faithful, So we've got regular old honey Graham,
Graham crackers, hershebar and camp fire marsh millers. These look so good I
know I'm gonna end up wearing it. Oh my goodness, this has this
has melted just perfectly, bottoms up rolling. Mm hmmm, it's so goody
morning, I'm tab the marshmallow is going down my throat, yet's tea in
in my mouth at the same time. Oh that's good chocolate. But gosh,
this marshmallow is just chewy. I was one thing. We forgot a
pickle, a dog nappin tab on my hot mouth. Hell, hang on,
let me run back to the car. Got some wet wipes. How
are you so clean? M hm. You can never discount the meltability of
a hershey bar. Oh my goodness. Even in the midst of eating that,
when I thought I was imperiled for my life, all I can think
of was this is delish ass. Oh my goodness. I was just dropped
off in the middle of a sweet, chocolate and wonderland, but where I
couldn't breathe well, and your only compass was a marsh meadow, Oh my
goodness, on a raft of Graham cracker that was at one point digging into
my roof of my mouth, but I couldn't stop it. But then the
marshmallow was wrestling my tongue to submission, until the chocolate just started to slide
into my throat. It was amazing, and then it tapped out. Oh
a classic, and everybody loves it regular old smore. What now, well,
I'll tell you what now. One thing I want to let all our
listeners know. Now I've been told on good authority that in the year twenty
ten, Smoors legislation was passed that allowed, if you can believe it,
a peanut butter cup to take the place of the chocolate. What that's right,
it's completely legal. I could walk through all about foods with a peanut
buttercups Moore in one hand and apparently a whole pipe filled with heroin and cocaine
for me to smoke in the other because there's no law in that place,
and I could only be arrested for having the cocaine heroin pipe because a peanut
butter cups Morris totally illegal and a completely viable option. Well, thank you
listener, Danielle. Well, thanks Danyelle. Glad you listen. M M.
Please don't try any Gateway drugs or Dwayne Johnson movies. That's right,
And be careful with that. Doctor Quinn medicine woman, Yeah, a slippery
slow You can get pulled right in there by by old what's his name,
the frontiersman with the heart of gold and your chest hair I call it,
and the shoulder length hair of sin, doctor chest hair, doctor chess here.
Well, let's just doctor on doctor Quinn apparently. Yeah, she's a
doctor and a medicine woman strike against Oh now what is next on this amazing
trip? I think we've bopped the regular mezzanine tickets, but it's time to
enjoy this opera from the box seats. Tabitha. I've got my special white
gloves and those tiny useless binoculars, and it's time for us to live the
high life with high class fancy smoresc smores. This is like the Toby Keith
to Smores. They're fabroge Smores. Now, I will tell you, Like
most expensive things, these are extremely delicate and highly unstable. Like one of
them electric cars. You always here about blowing up and burning people. Today
I know to electric, Thank you very much. I do not want my
family roasted alive in a little toaster, even on wheel. All right,
now, what are we enjoying here for our fancy, high quality top shelf
smores. Now, I'll tell you what the marshmallow is jit puffed fluffy luffing
ruff. The Graham Crackers not Graham Cracker. It's ginger sna apps from Hannah
Goodness, Sanna's Ginger Snaps. And then the chocolate is from Dagoba. Wait
where Yoda lives it's excuse me, doesn't Yoda live in Dagoba. Who's Yoda?
He's from Star Wars. I keep telling you to watch it, but
you're like, I'd rather just watch three hundred again. You know, I
Star Wars on TV, three hundreds on all the time. So I don't
know who you're talking about. But it's Dagaba chocolate and some and I think
it's it's chot alotto. It's dark chocolate. Talking ridiculous. It's dark chocolate
with chilis and and naps in it, chili is and naps, nap naps
or nips or something. This is ridiculous. I'm a cholo pissed. Nah,
bet eh, you haven't even tried it yet. Tried I'm fancy.
It cost a lot of money. And is there snails in this? You
have to tell the truth. The snails. They don't have snails in South
America or wherever it's from. Okay, well it's time to eat it.
Then, Okay. There's chocolates, Well it's cacao. H oh god,
everything in this cookie wants to hurt me. The ginger is real, snappy
as ginger thing, but ginger. The knaps wherever they are like like chocolate
landmines in my mouth. It's hot, like a like like one of them
and chilis and a hot cheeto, And I would expect the marshmallow to cool
it off, but marshmallows checked out. It's like it's it's on a break
or something. I think it's smoking a cigarette in the alleys what it's doing.
And Chatelato is just having the run of the restaurant. Come back,
Marshmallow, you have a job, Marshmallow. There are people waiting to be
seated right now, Marshmallow, wash your hands before returning to work. Marshmallow.
Child Alottle's picking its nose and then making fried and mushrooms in the back.
Don't let it, Oh lord, oh child Aladdle makes me want to
reach for the bottle high Fancy Living. You can keep it. I can't
believe I spent ten dollars on that at all. About foods, Oh well,
you know what, You have to be drunk to buy it. Of
course they're letting you drink while you shop there. It's ridiculous. It's like
a Las Vegas of affordable foods. Who would have thought putting chilies and chocolate
was a good idea? Oh, I can tell you right now, Tabitha,
I will be burping that in bed. Oh day, good bye child
aladdle. Never buy a chocolate from a Yoda, I think. I'm I
don't know what you're talking about, but I'm gonna second it. Oh my
goodness, Yoda chocolate, no good m hmm, looks I could pull this
taste straight from the swamp. Oh see, you're on do it all that
follow that memory, tab I don't know what you're talking about. Don't fight
it, just just let it overwhelm. You get off my back. It's
like I'm carrying you around the swap and doing flips or something. Oh my
goodness. Well, maybe I do not have a refined pallet. Or maybe
people who are rich are just so bored they ate things that taste like they're
trying to punch them in the tongue because it makes them feel alive. Succeeds
no well. From the lofty perch of the box seats to the nosebleed section
where only pedophiles can watch, it's time to try our no costs s'mores.
Yeah, when you're on a budget and you want a smore real bad like
most of us do. Here's the way to go. Imagine you're on a
fun weekend and you stop at a motel. Now, any motel will give
you a free tiny tube of toothpaste if you make enough of a scene at
the front desk. That's right. And what they'll also do is leave a
little Andy's candiment on your pillow. M hmm. Now that hotel, I'll
bet you dollars to donuts, will also have a lunch soup. They will.
You don't get a full continental breakfast, but you get a lunch soup.
And that soup will come with tan oyster crackers. Now I hope you
know where this is going, everybody, because oyster crackers, uh, pillow
mints and toothpaste. That is a no cost s'more. And that's exactly what
we have here, what we have and we mean it. We're not joking.
We say that we're about to eat oyster crackers and andies mint pillow mint
chocolate with toothpaste and toothpaste because it's no cost and you've got to have your
s'mores. And now I have to say what everyone's thinking, why not don't
why not just eat the chocolate and cut your losses? Because where because you
want some more, because where's the fun you want? So you're gonna make
it happen. What if? What if Liam Neeson calls and says, you
stole my family, but you can keep them if you give me a s'more
and you just look around the hotel at what you have on hand. This
is perfect for that exact situation. That probably gonna gave me a DVD.
I watched what was it? It was? It was? It was called
Took. Oh did somebody get took? Yeah, the whole family did.
Then Liam Neeson um fought wolves to get him back. Oh, I fell
asleep. Well I heard that. That was a pretty good movie, all
right, didn't he also didn't he also fight Yoda in that? No,
No, that was a different movie. Liam Neeson and Yoda were friends at
one time. Although they were friends, they were friends. Okay, well
here we go, Tabitha, Okay, living la vita broca. That's really
clever. Yeah, that John a lotta got to your brain a little.
Oh my goodness, maybe it kicks started something in fight or flat response.
So oyster crackers, Andy's thin mints in toothpaste, toothpaste cheers. It's not
near as bad as I'm horrified to say there it is just kicked off.
Oh, there goes the troop. H m h um, oh, there
it goes roh. My goodness. That lured us into a false sense of
some civility, and then it then it punched us. Well I call this
when winter is coming. You hear in your mouth? Do you think four
five dentists would recommend or no money smars? I think five out of five
dentists punch us in her faces. Oh directly, we have our emergency milk
waiting here for it. Nothing. Lot of the ways your sins like milk
and toothpaste sins are the worst. Oh Miami, Oh my goodness. Well,
you know when you're on a budget and you just have to have it's
more that'll do it, that'll satisfy the requirement. Yep, that that will
that will make you not want a s'more? No more, no, no
more smaller. Well, I wonder what's next on our list of s'mores.
Oh well, I'm glad we didn't save that one to the end. Oh
my breath, my breath is just mint you fresh. I have the breath
of a woman barely hanging on. This is one of my most trying episodes.
Betty, Oh, I know what you mean. But you know what
this is why it's candy chat. We are pushing it to the very furthest
boundaries of sweets consumption. So you don't have to that's right. Anyone could
just eat some skittles and sing yan yan Yeah, tasty, tasty taste.
Damn na nah taste the rainbow I just did. No, we're really pushing
the envelope. Here's the real rainbow. We're at the bottom right now.
Now. At this point, I'd liked to ding dong, Oh was that
the doorbell? Ding dong tabot? Oh? My goodness. I couldn't even
ask if it was even the doorbell without it ringing again, Dang Dong?
Who is it? Why? I believe it's our old friend. No,
Rustle Stove, how you get out of here? You get out of here.
You're not welcome here, Rustle Stover, You've got no place in this
podcast. You go on and you get in your your mud your turnip truck,
you turn it around and you go home. I've just been hurt by
you so many times, Rustle. How many times are we gonna go through
them? Oh? Rustle, I've missed you so much Rustle. I'd like
to say, I can't stay mad at you, Rustle, but I can.
Well here, so we're showing up with waving all in our faces.
This time just a straight up Russell stover some more. What does that mean?
It's an individually wrapped two graham crackers and a chocolate covered marshmallow rectangle.
I mean, I imagine this is the sort of smores that soldiers had to
eat in World War One. I don't I don't know if they handed this
bad, I don't know. But on the other hand, I guarantee they
didn't use chocolatto. Oh yeah, you know they didn't. They didn't use
chocolatto, and they didn't use toothpaste. Oh my goodness, were standing me
here? You know what after that? I don't care if I open this
up and it's another another darn Hickey coconut nest. Coconuts. We don't want
them coconut nest. This, I mean, this just couldn't look any prettier.
It's as standardized asmar as you could hope for. It looks like a
block of them. It's a military issues smore. Right now, there are
people that are in the rack that are eating these that's right on the front
line, so we have to support our troops. No, I mean the
icest people. They've been like stealing all of our supplies. They're probably just
eating them. Oh, i've been reading CNN all day, CNN. Why
are you reading now? I was kidding. I don't read. Oh well,
let's try and see what this tastes like. I wasn't kidding up lately.
What nothing, tab guess let's taken by to this and hope it's not
burning their mouths should be a microwavey. Yes, well, it's in plastic
and it's shining, so it's like metal. What it exploded? I don't
know. I'm I'm not Thomas Citizen. Well, this is as close to
our original delicious smar as we've gotten so far. They've got no heart in
it. It's a soul of Thetomaton of camping treaty. It just lacks something
life or something I don't know. And it's like those movies I watched sometimes
where a person gets their soul taken and they don't think nobody notices, but
everybody notices. What movies are you watching? I don't know, Left Behind?
Maybe Russell, If that's all you have to offer. You can just
stay in purgatory or wherever you're coming from. Once again, Russell Stover tries
to serenade us like a siren, but his off key wailing only drives us
away from the cliffs. That's right, well done, Russell, we just
avoided catastrophe. Oh with your bland wasteland of a smore, congratulations, your
wildly mediocre. I felt like I was just sitting there in a blasted landscape
waiting for godot of taste. I think that Chodlalo is still talking. I
don't know about you, but my goodness is wait, is this one of
those things that's gonna make us hallucinates? Chot alotto Mexican for payote? Because
I can't go down that road again, tab I can't go down that road
again. Tab I think I can't go down that road again. Tam think
we ingested too much of it? Oh my goodness, Oh my goodness,
what else do we have? Oh my goodness. I just don't feel like
I could eat another smore me either. So that's too bad, because it's
time to tempt Tabitha. That's right, Tabitha, I've got a ten Tabitha
s'moores edish in I thought coming, and then I chose not to believe it
was coming. You know what that sound is? No, I'm hoping it's
just more crackers. That Miss Hutcheson is the sound of inevitability. Wait,
you've been watching named Kunta Reeves movies. This is Hutchison. Oh No.
What I have in my hand is a box of off brand frosted s'mores naturally
and artificially flavored toaster pastries known in some areas to rich people as pop tarts,
although these are not named brand pop tarts because Piggley Dog does not play
games with major corporations. That's why I but love Piggli Dog. I love
Piggy Dog. I've got so many points on my own block card. Oh
that is so good to hear. So there are six toaster pastries inside this
box, and I'd like to see eat them all all six. Now,
I'm gonna tell I'm gonna do a little bit of help. Here's one now.
Seat. This is another example of the nanny state federal government. Yeah,
you pource the milk, you're gonna need that. That could save your
life. The nanny state federal government saying, oh, you should only have
two of these at a time. Why why do that? It's not the
box is a single serving. We all know that. I think. I
don't know if you want to eat them individually or just stack them all up
like a big Smore burger. I'll try it. State mandated two at a
time and see where that gets. Yeah, play Obama's game. Why don't
you just help him do it? Why don't you just lay down? Oh,
I've got an idea. How about you vote for the Green Party.
I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I like to fun. I like
the fun. Ralph Nader got a hater. I'm gonna tell you, Betty,
I'll give it. I'll give it. The old almost went to college.
Try, but I'm not. I don't think I can make it through
six of these. Boy, Well, we'll just see what happens. Are
you gonna time me or is it just until a stop until a fall over?
Well it's a tough call because timers are difficult, and I don't think
you feel like force feeding yourself. So we'll just go and tell a throw
up. Yeah. I didn't want to say it. It sounded mean when
I said it. In my mind sounds real to me. Here, all
right, I'll soothe you with some music. Okay, I can't show you
the world time ning Sammrie slanter, Damn me, damn. Now you let
your heart desire. Don't you don't screw me up? Don't you dare?
Close your mouth? A new fantastic flavor time, so many smarts to know.
So you've got four ago, you're only at the beginning. Oh,
oh my gosh, you didn't even hate these up for me. I've never
put a pop tart and a toast my whole life. I ain't gonna start
now, keep singing, Oh new war a Shimley Wonderland of Milk? What
Himley? It's from Heart of the Rings. I always thought they should be
friends with Disney. I can't keep going. I don't know what she means,
the Shimley running lamp do, Where's me? Do? What for?
Broto and Randolf the Wizard. I'm feeling kind of Shimley right now. Oh
now, come on, step it up, tab stop. Oh I'm you
know why I'm changing I'm changing tracks on this pump up album. Dig a
dig and dig and digg a pump pump pump plump plump, plump, pump
pump pump plan. I the Tabitha plump plump, pump pump plump, plump,
plomp PLoP plan Eat them up, Eat all these smallers, drink your
milk eating the pop tarts. Ain't gotten a time for your giggles and snorts,
Just a Tab and her well to her. So many times you've eaten
too fast. Now you must eat those for glory. Don't lose your grip
or they'll fall in the milk. You gotta fight just to keep your hand
dry. Tab's got the eyle the tiger, and she's giving snacks a bite.
I'm halfway done with the first two. Oh my god, this is
like Lord of the Rings's just a whole movie. You're eating too pop tarts?
Are you gonna be my Sam? Are you gonna be my Gollum?
Make your choice, Betty, you're being altogether too precious with those pop tarts.
Now I see who we'd become. As you've made your choice. Just
put the one ring on him and make him invisible. Time for you to
say uric by Petty. Well, I think you should just stack them up
and just lose your damn fool mind on him like like a berserk chimpanzee that
someone foolishly kept as a pet. They're all just ticking time bombs. My
life's become a Salvador Dolly painting. Yeah, you look like one of those
uh clock faces that's melting on a branch. I think I failed. Well,
that's why Obama puts him two at a time. I mean, okay,
I apologize, Federal government. Apparently there is a limit to what a
human being's body can take, and it's it's just two. It's just two.
I didn't even finish two. Yeah, you couldn't even get I'm sorry.
I hope that you can sleep tonight because that pump up music I was
singing to you is pretty powerful. What's the second verse of that? I'm
not gonna keep singing if you've stopped eating. Okay, that's the deal,
all right, Well, goodness, say, you looks like I failed that
one. Oh my goodness. You know, no one fails if they give
it. They're all in tabitha. Judging by the look of agon I suffering
on your face, you have been pushed to the furthest limits of human endurance.
Well, amen, you just toss back that milk plunk it was sweet,
sweet liquor. Well, we've taken a short break in order to come
to the thrilling final conclusion of this amazing summer podcast. Oh my, I'm
currently sitting scared to death with a blindfold on, awaiting the final mystery is
more of the night for me, And I'm currently sitting blindfolded, scared to
death awaiting the final history s more for me. That's right, We've each
made a mystery smore for the other to try. Lord, we were really
trying something new out of a realm here, doing some mysteries, hushing the
boundaries beyond any common sense or good idea or even entertainment value. I mean,
we already did that with the toothpaste more. But that's okay, that
was just a fever dream. I'm I'm even gonna tell I'm not even gonna
put that in my diary. It's it dies here, okay. But of
course then I can never learn from it later. Oh well, catch twenty
two for you. Well, I've still got a good four hours before I
need to decide. That before I go would have been my goodness. So
how are we gonna do this, bet eh? Since you're still coming off
your your pop tarts overload. You should probably I should probably eat nets.
Oh that is so, I'm so hungry. All right, mine has just
been roasting on the fire and it's extra hot. Oh, terrific skaldings.
Okay, here we go, handing it to you. It's the correct You're
right and down a little okay, and I'm gonna go forward. You just
lean a little bit, keep on leaning. I'm meaning there's a microphone stopping
the forward progress. Well, I'm leaning and you you lean. Meeting me
halfway in the river Jordan. Now I wait to describe what's in it before
you actually take or see you take a bite. First of all, I
can tell that this plate is warm. Second of all, I'm gonna smell
it. It has no discernible odor whatsoever. That is the problem your mischiefs.
More could be a fortune, or it could be a zonk. Who
know? Are you going for it? I'm going for it. It's hard.
I don't when you don't know what you're picking up, it's hard to
pick it up. There you go, feels like I got a good It's
a square that a grip. Just make sure that you put it all over
your drawers. Don't want it. Okay, here we go, Here we
go. Is this something I should take a bite out or I just didn'thale
it. You take a bite out of it, Be careful, it might
still be hot. It looks a little gooey. Oh go away, all
right? Oh my god, did you get zomped? No, I'm getting
painted butter, painted butter. That's legal. It's a it's a racy cop
I'm with with some cake frosting. That's that's just cream flavored cake frosting.
And it's all betwixt two Chessman's Pepperidge Farm Chestman's. Oh those are fancy.
This was a delicious tree. Oh congratulations, you didn't get zomped. I
did not. You didn't zomp me. And thank you, Tabitha. You're
a terrific human being. Yeah, well, come, that's time for me
to return the favor. Oh well, I'm scared. Usually there's there's at
least a balance of zons to to winnings. I swear, I have no
idea where you're getting this word zone from. Oh, let's make a deal.
Wayne Brady, who used to be Monty Hall on daytime television right before
Bowling and beautiful, Okay, Doky all right, all right, now here
we go. You could probably you could probably look now, Betty, no
I am. I mean the time for my blindnesses is over. Now I
need you to lean forward. Okay, Well that was that was so easy.
Yeah. I felt like I was crossing the river Jordan and giving years
to you. There you go, Oh you found it. There's a there's
a spoon in mine. You got a bowl in a spoon. The spoon
doesn't want to come out it sure don't. Now you should be careful where
you're holding that bowl. You may want to just just lower it a little
bit because of the microphone. There. You gotta go to the side.
That's perfect. Now you just go ahead and and just now you're gonna have
to really force the spoon into that. I'm using the spoon as my eyes
and I'm just poking around in here. It's a very rocky terrain. But
the spoon sometimes sticks in like a goo. What is it? What is
it? So I should just dig in? Just go for it? Does
this work? Hold on? Wait? Okay? Okay, open wide,
very wide, super wide. That's ready? Is that enough? Yeah?
Go for it? Oh? No, m hmmm, Carl, Well,
I like the cereal that's hovered and jet puff marshmallow sweet. I'll tell you
what you're enjoying, my d constructed malec their gastronomy a smaller. It's fluffing
a bowl with Teddy grams and chocolate chips. Go ahead and look at it,
tab gaze upon me the face of your destroyer, not at all what
I expected, and get somehow comforting. Yeah, it's up. It's just
a bowl full of mouth glue. Wow, it kind of looks like a
bowl full of real glue bluff. Now I had this. I had another
idea because while I was at Piggy Dog, I saw that you can buy
marshmallows that are for hot cocoa, but they're like the dehydrated crunchy kind like
that are in cereal. But it's just marshmallows. M I wasn't gonna get
those golden grams and cocoa crispies and mix them all up into a bowl of
cereal, which I think would be a great idea noun it's good. Then
I found the fluff and fell in love with it. There ain't no stuff
like fluff. Mmmmm, I might just keep eating. Well, that is
just the highest praise you could ever have mmmmmm love crispies. It's like the
milk congealed into a glue and the telegrams all died, But they gave their
lives for flavor, didn't They pooped their bants and it all turned into a
delicious concoction in a bowl. That's a strange narrative. Tab Oh my goodness,
Well, I can tell by my blood sugar indicator that it's time to
say good night once again. Are we gonna? Are we gonna rank these
smores at all? Uh? Yeah, you're right, see blood sugar.
First thing that goes is sequential cognition. Second thing that goes, it's all
my knowledge of murder, she wrote. I'll say top of my list was
easily the secret s'more you made for Oh, go out. I mean the
jasmine. It says class sophistication with a rich, buttery, crispness that I
cannot deny. It's the secret is how simple it is. Oh, it
was glorious. And of course the peanut butter from the recycups. Oh what
a what a delightful turn. I had no idea I was foreshadowing my own
future. Did you go? Did you? Did you? Are you in
cahoots with listener Danielle. Nope, don't lie to me, Tabitha. No
coincidence ya, Jesus loves coincidence is my favorite. One was the bowl full
of tedipoops. Oh, we are in love with our own creativity. I
give second place to old Faithful. Old Faithful, don't bring men, take
a badsm and make it batter, Tabitha. Would you like to try my
blood glucose meter? Nope, I think everything's fine. Hell U, so
I agree with you on that one. I think below that I would put
the Russell Stover's. Sure. I wanted to kiss in the mouth from an
elegant, rich lover, but what I got was a pick on the cheek
from my ugly cousin, Russell Stover. I don't know who keeps telling him
what my address is when I move, but if I find him, I'm
gonna snap him in the face. I'm telling you, Russell Stover, he
just will not leave us alone. He haunts our every episode. At least
it's not a coconut s'more, that's all. I'll bet you. There was
something in there somehow. It's like he's got some deal with Big Coconut big
coconuts, all trying to tell me how to live my life. I'm lied
up with Russell Stover in a six dungeon. They're all just tied up and
wearing leathern But well, well, you know, see Russell Stover does that.
Probably these teddy poops do it too. Behind that I have to tell
you. I know it's it's un the toothpaste when yeah, exactly, I
was gonna say it is uncouth to say so, but honestly, the toothpaste
was honest. It said, hey, I made out of a bunch of
things you have stole right, and and this is the best I can do,
and I respect it. It is what it is now the quote unquote
high class more Wow, it was like that time I fell riding a bicycle
right onto the bar. Indeed, it was a betrayal. It's like,
if if that's what it's like to be fancy, I don't want to be
right. I'm gonna go burn all my fanciest dresses so that no one ever
thinks that's what I want to eat with. Those restaurants are it's five hundred
dollars and the guy just walks up and hits you in the teeth of a
steel pipe. I think that's what happens. Oh my goodness, Oh are
you thirsty. Here's a bottle of carbolic acid, you idiots. That'll be
a five million dollar bell. Please go getting your electric car, ye idiots,
No wonder all these politicians have faith teeth. Oh my gosh. It's
just ridiculous, because I went to that restaurant. It went to that restaurant
because they can. It's stupid and they just do it to be seen.
Our fancy is is good old Hershey mmmm, candy is fancy enough for me?
That's what I always say. If it ain't that fancy, you take
it to the dancy, that's what I say. I wish you'd stop because
it confuses me. Okay, it's better than your earlier time, that's true.
But hey, at least it rhymed, and that's better than I've done
at times this evening. So there you have it. That's that's some moores
for you. Take that to the old camp fire and shove it. That's
right. Thank thank bang. I'm not eating any more. Pottok bank Bank,
I ain't gonna do it, bank bank, Bang, Well, thank
you so much for listening. And we can't wait to see it, because,
oh my goodness, the holidays are knock knock knocking on the door.
They are knocking on it, and we're gonna have some very oh my goodness,
I just passed out, and we're gonna have some very sweet child of
mine. Well, I have an appetite for destruction, and we're gonna invite
you into the jungle of taste. Mm and we'll be We'll be back sooner
than those cold November rains. That's all I can think of. What have
I played that out? Next big Holiday, Louis, Oh my god,
and I swear I am still haunted by the grim specter of scream eggs running
down your chin. I think it's embedded in your wall, so it's forced
to replay it's grizzly scene time after time, forever haunting, for ever,
hungry for this episode of candy Chat, I've been Betty ever saw Hudson.
Goodbye, y'all, good ask hi, goodbye,