So yeah, yeah, Chef Anthony. You know, I love Chef Anthony.
His mom called to check in on him, you know, and she
has some bad news for him. Yeah. Well, his uncle inventable.
I remember this part where she said all this stuff. Yeah she did.
She goes, I got some bad news for your son. He's like,
oh what he says, your uncle invented a time machine. He's already having
sex with your your future wife. Yeah, he's like fuck yeah, He's
like, gosh, she's so smart. Welcome aboard another brand spanking new episode
of another below Deck podcast. My name is Dylan. I'm settling up next
to one Patrick Ikey. Permission to come aboard granted? Talk. Okay,
Hey, my Mike, I just got up. Oh yeah, yeah,
Oh, happy to be here. What are you doing raising the mic there?
Yeah yeah, okay, I'm just trying to get these mics there we
go. Oh wow, hey, what is going on? Everybody? Holy
canole? It's so good to be here. Pat talk okay? Episode seven?
Oh should I do some housekeeping first? I want to attack you,
you barnacles out there that came for old Patty because of my pronunciation of the
beautiful state Illinois. Oh no, no, am I being what are you
being? What? Well? I just they made fun of me and attacked
me online. It's it's spelled I. I was a victim of a bullying
campaign partook you were part of it by our own fans. Okay, Illinois,
there is an asse at the end of it. I'm from Massachusetts,
forgive me, Okay. I'm a filthy, yucky norm where I come from.
And you know what, I don't want to hear from you Massachusetts people.
Yeah, yeah, I've for my entire life, I've I've pronounced it
Illinois because there's an s at the end. Yeah, when do we all
decide that it was going to be Illinois some time ago? And U was
the committee that decided that? You know, I don't know that there was
a committee. But it just shows the power of the collective. You know,
human beings can gather around and we can really really enact change in these
kind of or on these kind of linguistic battlefields. I mean, do you
say salmon? I thought that was a fair point. Uh no, I
call it salmon. Yeah. Yeah. And and Patrick, I don't have
the records of the congressional hearing to remove the L from the fish but I
know at some point it did happen, and it is really dumb of you
to pronounce the s. And let me say this to you and to all
the people that took the time to a right that I'm an idiot. Yeah,
you're all horrible people. And if you want to be all horrible,
up in them guts with us, go to our Facebook group which is where
the bullying campaign was unleashed on poor Patrick. Tonight, we have an episode
and it's episode seven. But before we get into that, more public service
announcements. Love is Blind is wrapping up a Patreon dot com slash, another
podcast network. Another podcast show is coming to bad TV, and I am
just if you need more Below Deck Kidding Life. Yeah, we have season
two of Below Deck med behind the paywall. We wrapped that up just last
week. Was a good season, really good season. You remember the chef
Adam. He was kind of like a he had kind of like a chameleon
like look to him, and he was a rude to women. Yeah,
well he's out living in that one of those vans right now with really really
long hair and he looks like that guy that used to like send bombs and
put him in people's mailbox. Yes, he kind of looks like a clean
shaven ted his in skeear at least has the vibe of that. And he's
making chicken bakes and going viral on TikTok. But Adam, we have not
forgot your crimes and we crept hang on, hang on, we recapped all
of them. But picturetic cop slashers of the podcast network. Okay, so
we have to get into Below Deck episode seven. Yes, and our thoughts
are nons Yes, I have thoughts. Go ahead, Okay, I want
to talk to producers about this because they put one over on us. I
think they think, hey, if we give them a firing at the top
of the episode, right, that's enough. Because this episode wasn't that good.
Once Captain carry let Jared go, there was nothing that really took place
during the entire episode. It was like, yeah, you know, it
was like those French kings back in the I don't know, back in the
day, when they'd like do a public thing where they chop someone's fucking head
off. Yeah, he go like, hey, I gave you entertainment.
You all go back home now. I don't want to hear from you for
a goddamn week go get black plague or something like that. But I entertained
you and that's it. Yeah, And I'm not sure if that's historically accurate
or not. I mean, you know, who knows. Was it the
people chopping off heads or were it the King King Louis the Croissant, Yeah,
King Louis, the King Louly the trod almandin. Listen, this episode
was a boat stuff sandwich and the two pieces of bread were executions. But
were they enough to well, let's call them departures. Were they enough to
satiate us? Were they enough to give this ninety plus pots not for me?
Forty one pots? Zero pots from me? Wow, Holy smokes.
The overriding thing that I got from this episode, that is what we'll refer
to it as an episode of television, is what we'll refer to it as.
Is it. Captain Carrey is just a fucking Mench's awesome. I mean,
he's just such a mench man. I mean the way that he handles
Kat and Jared's departures, his sensitivity towards sea rat breakdowns, I mean,
he's really really on top of his game. Yeah. I want to say
this to Captain Kerry though, don't rest on your laurels and be happy to
be on TV, because then you'll start faltering. You will make the missteps
that Captain Sandy and Captain Lee have made, and they are completely dislikable people.
Right. We really love you right now. By the way, Kerry,
if you can hit old Patty up, I need to know when you
decided to give Jared the acts? Did you in fact give him the acts
because you knew you had to back up with Ben. I'm just curious about
that. Interesting, interesting, interesting, And speaking of Ben just in general,
I think I get my not zero. Yeah he said zero. While
we're in our general thoughts, I do want to say that seeing back channel
Ben pick up that mantle power was kind of a kin you know that horrible
Amazon Lord of the Rings series when Emo Sauron walks away and he's like,
I am my chemical romance. That's what I felt like when Ben was,
you know, risen to the status of Boson. I mean, he's clearly
well cut out for it. He's clearly good at his job, but he's
also clearly backchannel Ben and you know, channel Bet. Maybe he'll be better
without an adversary to go up against. I'd say my only part that I
don't like about Ben is we've had so many bosins and he wasn't a bosin
yet. But they're just womanizing jerks and that's the unlikable part of about him.
But as far as his work ethic and he's he's top match, top
not top notch. All right, let's get into it, okay. So
we begin at a point in the episode that was the first part of the
episode, and that was I'll help you out. Yeah, So Captain Carrey
telling the kids to go to bed. I've always wondered, you know,
every captain because this is like I think one time Captain League got up and
told everybody they needed to shut up and go to bed. And I don't
think he was wearing a shirt. But other than that, I've always wondered,
like, you know, with the sea rat hijinks and whatnot when they
return from a night out, like do the captains actually hear them and choose
to ignore them? Because Captain Glenn, he was such a deep sleeper then
unless a sea route was using his head as a drink table, he he
didn't wake up, No, And then old Captain Sandy, she had those
earbuds in listening to whatever motivational speaker she planed on stealing from. Yeah,
and then Lee was just a drunk Yeah. Well and allegedly and man it
was so found bottles in his in the trash. Well yeah, so it
says a couple of sea rats who are themselves you know, insane. Well
and also you know, victim to addiction. You know, it gets all
certly an unhealthy relationship with drugs and alcohol. Yeah, no, I mean
we've had sea rats say can you please beep out that I'm in Virginia?
What he what? It was weird? Yeah, it's so weird, but
yeah, I know, Captain Sandy listens to Tony Robbins, Glenn listens to
kind of ambient sounds of war and or body processing, and Captain carry is
I mean, he's counting sheep and that's why he's attuned to the nightmares of
the boat. And one of those was this a two am performance review over
tobacco, and it does not go well. We hit the hay and we
rise for the next day. Jared's up bright and early and is thinking he
didn't handle last night too well, and we then roll the package on why
Jared should not be on this. Yeah, a little walk down memory lane.
And for Jared's sake, I hope any future employers don't own a TV
or know what the Internet is, and they're rare, but you can find
them, you know. And he should go into job interviews like this,
I am Jared, you know what the Internet is? And if they say
yes, he should just get up and go get a muffin or something.
Wow, that guy just walked out of there. Yeah, it was weird,
actually weird. I think he should charter boats where like eighteen people live
in the in a tribe on the Amazon River, you know. Yeh.
It'd be funny to ask somebody conducting a zoom interview if they know what the
Internet is, and then if they say yes, just hang up but listen.
So it's kind of I would say sick on production's part. And you
know, I hesitate because we're in the good graces of Bravo right now.
You know, that's been a long kind of trench war that we've been engaged
in. So I don't want to run a foul but a little tease here.
Dell interview with Barbie later this week. Yeah, and we've already got
some lovely complaints about that from some of our fans. So crazy. Yeah,
okay, hey, can I talk about Kyle for a second. Well,
I just really want to say, sick on production to hire a sacrificial
lamb of this ilk Like he's speaking of Jerward, he was clearly brought in
to be made a mockery of and essentially be like a human trampoline for back
channel. Ben. I mean, you know, to do this man so
dirty like this, you have to do a psychological pat down. You have
to know that this guy's not cut out for prime time, and you have
to go. That's why we're hiring who was that street fighter Bosen that lasted
oh rey Gun ray Gun. Yeah, she just smokes cigarettes and wins.
Yeah, she smokes SIGs, she wins and frustratingly so I mean she's not
even hitting you. You know, it's like, oh, Baraka like shoots
electricity out of his beast chill body. But Raygun just smokes pall malls and
she wins every single time she wins. But we've also had like you know,
Rue, who's just an international criminal and why did they hire him?
You know, these sacrificial lambs are quite apparent now I want to talk about
really good casting. Here is Kyle. I don't think we've given this young
man enough credit. He is a good person, quite the cunning little fox.
He ended up hanging out with Barbie all night watching that movie. Yeah,
and he's playing a long game with Barbie. Is patients and conflict resolution
skills are admired by this old, drunken irishman. We are kindred spirits.
And speaking of Irishmen, I wanted to just say that it was it was
really kind of shocking when I was hearing Kyle speak and this memory just popped
into my head. I was like as crystalline as could be, Like I
like I had seen the film yesterday. Kyle reminds me of Steven the Irishman
from Braveheart. If I risk my neck for you when I get a chance
to kill Englishman? Is your father a ghost? Oh? Do you converse
with the old mainten in order to find his equal? And irishman is forced
to talk to God? Yeah? I mean just sounds just like it's almost
like they're from the same fucking country. You know what, Dell, I
think you just teed me up for a segment on PMZ. What the hell
ever happened to that actor? Dude, that is one of the greatest scenes
and cinema period. And I know Mel Gibson is a psycho, but I
mean that guy is just awesome, unbelievable character. If you haven't seen Braveheart,
you don't need to watch it necessarily because it's kind of a three hour
slog of Scotsman fighting Englishmen. But man, Stephen the Irishman. What a
character. So you were going to say something I believe, or maybe you
had completed it. Oh no, no, no, what I was gonna
say. At this point the Sea Wheret's catch up on the night's events,
Barbie tells Vampira that Jared was a dick and that Ben is smashing right now,
which is a pretty vulgar way of saying that he's getting sex. Yeah,
well, listen, given the years of boozing and you know, morning
Regret, Kyle is I gotta say mad props to the cool hand Luke approach
to having been accosted by your boss the night previously. I mean, he
was just so like, hey, how you doing. He was totally cool
about it. I like Kyle. I can't believe how much I'm like Kyle
he is a standout this season. He's awesome. So Kyle and Barbie are
called up for interrogations. Carrie seems to be trying to get the threatened narrative
the sea rat. I gotta tell you much respect to Barbie and Kyle here,
we've had multitude of sea rats that go up to that bridge and just
bold face, fucking lie. We had that French guy last season that told
Captain Sandy there was no food on the boat for him to eat. He
was lying, But I gotta tell you Barbie and Kyle, they keep it.
Basically. Their recount is extremely accurate. I could not stay under that
guy. Towards the end of the kid out here, go pretend like you're
in a box somewhere and some square just leave us all alone with your kooky
shit. Now Cat feels very alone speaking of somebody who should be off this
boat. I mean, listen, we'll talk about it later. I und
stand the horrors of your Belinda, but we've got to not be on television
if we're gonna be like this. Okay, yeah, back to production,
like, let's let's do a little research. Finally, Jared has called up
for execution. Captain Carrie says, it's the second time you've been pieced and
you've had shitty behavior. You need to depart the vessel. Well, he
puts out there that he's had multiple fuck ups with docking in an unhealthy relationship
with alcohol. Now, if you're a sea route, you can only have
one of them. Okay, you can't fuck up and also be a drunk,
So you gotta when there's two, it's called the two firm. Yeah.
No, the mark of a successful sea route is to be a drunk
and to be extremely good at your job despite the addiction. So he goes,
I'm getting the boot. Yeah you are, and he said the Carrie
says, the emotional side of the job is not where it needs to be.
And that's just a very astute thing to recognize in a position of leadership.
You know, there is an emotional element to management. You cannot be
a chip on your shoulder booze bag who's pissed off that you lost out on
a girl when you haven't called your daughter in two weeks, you know,
I mean, you just can't do that. More into Carrie's management style here,
because we haven't seen this before. Maybe with Captain Glenn. I love
how Carrie framed the firing in such a way that it sounded like Carrie was
doing it for Jared's well being. He you know, it is very Macavelian,
but it's also you know, speaking of two for we got a two
for here, We've got shrewd politics, and we've also got heart. Jared
is not a bad guy. I don't think either one of us think that
he's a bad guy. He's just not in a place in his life to
be on television or on a boat. He also can't do math. What
do you mean, Well, when he's dock and he's supposed to be calling
out distance, so you know, he could kill everybody that way, you
know, the boat spash against the dot. Yeah, yeah, so yeah,
Baker's dozen hot dogs to You're right, what the fuck? Ben's just
sitting there like GAP's not gonna like this. Yeah, no shit. Uh
So, the Sea rats chat about Sonny getting some dick, and the source
of that dick is the new Boswain. Damn Rod, I'll accept the Bison
position. Jared tells the gang that he's getting axed, and Barbie says,
good, go meet your daughter Pat. Yeah, he goes on a I
got fired tour, and I Barbie in this, in this moment or in
a couple scenes, she's Patty. She's the voice of Patty. Yeah whatever.
Jared keeps blabbering on. She's like, go meet your daughter. Yeah,
good luck. It's like, yeah, I gotta spend some time myself
do that, and also go visit your daughter. Barbie is Patty. Yeah.
So he says, we'll see it on the line. Saint David,
he seemed to be well liked and again not a bad guy. Bad guy's
ready to go right now. So Kyle talks like the crazy guy for Brave
Heart. We already covered that. I know where we are. So Carrie
hits up the Sea Rat Academy and I want to points out something out here.
He doesn't text and say, hey, do you got anybody for me?
Send him my way, because that's how Lee and Captain Sandy worked out.
He says, can you send me some resumes? My point is it's
a refreshing change to management. It seems like someone actually doing their job.
Yeah. I mean, it's not quite the pulling anybody off the street the
way that Sandy and Lee do. In a way, you know, I
worked at Wimbledon what the Wimbledon in It's twelve miles away from Wimbledon. Well
that's perfect, come aboard, Come on. So we get to a crew
meeting back channel Ben has announced as the new boswn Frasier. Then heads around
and just like the you know, the Anna Winter of this boat. I
mean, he says, is that a pancake a pillow? You know,
top heavy, plump and dump. We get to the meeting next. It's
a meeting known as the brad fran Cheek Madag. We may may have not
added the music, Thank you for that caveat. You know. The fans
are really like, oh, we want to hear the music. We want
to hear the music. And it's like, all right, you'll get the
music. Hope you enjoyed the music. I love the music too, all
right. So we've got Leslie coming aboard. They're gonna want a surfer turf
dinner. There's also going to be an expedition to Karakao, one of the
most beautiful and sexy beaches on the plane. Are there a mangroves there?
I don't think so. He said it was sexy though, yeah, but
because there are no mangroves, it is not going to be a ten out
of ten. They also don't want any French food, and they want a
murder mystery party. All right, I want to talk about that. Yeah,
save that for your boring Saturday night on land with your friends. Okay,
you're on a fucking private yacht. All right, that's stupid. I
disagree. I love a murder mystery about on a boat where you're paying sixty
grand a day. Yeah, it's like the perfect place for a crime to
take place on a super yacht. You know, you know, dignitaries are
dragging people out there. Hey, come on a vacation. Boom hit in
the head with a baseball bat. Yeah, it happened on the season two
of White Lotus. I guess yep, one hundred percent. I was kind
of a geese. Yeah yeah, and that's an overrated show, right,
I love the show. Yeah. So Kat's friend calls and she well,
oh, first, sorry, Barbie's mom. I love this because this is
a little sea rat history with Barbie. But we learned Barbie's mom is a
sex therapist, and it's weird because when you walk around her office, you
could possibly trip over a double sided dildo or a mistake as salt shaker for
a butt plug. Yeah, it's weird to work around there, I know.
And Barbie, it's also weird that Barbie's mom has so many salt shakers
in her office for her guests. So Kat's friend calls, she rips off
her mic and she goes into the bathroom. Now, I know I'm being
harsh, what with the horrors of your Belinda, but crying all the time,
ripping the mic off, it's a sweet thing that she did to protect
her friend. But we're filming a fucking TV show here, Kat, Okay,
Now you know, listen, this is what scumbag cultists do to people.
They arrest their development, and that that's why they shouldn't be on TV
because Kat literally does not have the social skills to adapt to new groups of
people because she was in a cult. And who knows what happened to this
friend. I think Fraser mentions it later on the episode and Carrie another just
a beautiful, beautiful phrase from him. You know, they don't know if
it's something serious or not, but Carrie says to her it is, you
know, but the question remains, like with Kat crying at the drop of
really anything, you know, a trisk it can fall on the floor and
show break down. Is that a trisc it? Who knows what happened with
her friend? It could have been a trisc it, but it also could
have been like a death or her family worship Satan or something. Yeah,
so provisions arrive, Tony calls his mom. She looks like a Christopher guest
character. Fraser joins the child. Oh, actually, no, we can
gloss over this. So yeah, yeah, Chef Anthony. You know I
love Chef Anthony. His mom called to check in on him, you know,
and she has some bad news for him. Yeah, well his uncle.
I remember this part where she said all this stuff, Yeah she did.
She goes, I got some bad news for your son. He's like,
oh what he says, your uncle invented a time machine. He's already
having sex with your your future wife. Yeah. He's like fuck yeah.
He's like gosh, she's so smart. I like you. And she's like
se levee, you know. But Fraser joins the chat in French and we
get to the guest's arrival. Now I get that we're bumping up production,
but this music is just oh, it's crazy. This is the moment I
got it. What are we are we on a game. Are like,
why is that happening? I think we're on the Challenge or something. Yeah,
but the guests come aboard. Carrie says, well, welcome to Grenade.
And then Carrie says that he's going to have to work harder. This
charter sounds like he is coming to contact with a captain lee of sorts.
Well, Carrie gives a little sea rat history of himself. He says,
you know, he's had a job as a captain for a while, and
he's worked with a lot of lazy assholes and he admits that they used to
pretend to be on the phone. Well one of his bosses, Oh that's
one of the because old Patty does that. I use that one multiple times,
Like if I'm at the grocery store and I'm like, you know,
got the cart there, and I'm like, oh, that's I used to
live next to that person in that shitty apartment. Oh yeah, I rip
out the phone right and I'm like, oh, hey, Landa, sorry,
and then she's coming over to me with her shopping cart and I'm like
sorry, And I like pretend like me all the time too, But I'm
very worried that they're going to see the phone, you know, if you
do a flick of her risk, you know, wrist, they could see
that it's just the home screen of a bunch of apps and a faint picture
of a cat behind all of them. So what I do is I the
only number I know by heart, really, and that's nine one one,
and it's gotten me into a couple of different hairy situations. But if they
do see, they'll see that I am actually on a phone call. I
actually had a moment. This was a couple of years ago. My old
landlord Mark, who was an absolute dickhead and he hated me too, but
we had a relationship for like eight years. We both see each other and
we both pretend to not see each other. Yeah, you're just flipping the
bird. It was a multiple I don't want to talk to you, you
don't want to talk to me. I love those interactions where you just both
look at each other and you go, nope, nope, we don't today
today, not today. So we leave the doc Ben obviously much better at
the job and very qualified. Actually kind of happy for him. All these
people are in mortgages in real estate. Pat take it away. Okay,
real estate is a crazy business, and I forget what's the charter guest name.
Likely she's like talking to like cat or something. She's like, hey,
hey, hey, you know, because they're always like really into people
buying real estate or whatever. She's like, hey, here's my advice to
you. Whenever you can buy. Yeah, like a realt or whatever tell
you it's not a good time to buy. It's a great time to buy.
What with interest rates where they are and where are they Oh, they're
low, but housing is expensive, and that means it's the perfect time to
buy. It's like imagine whening a burger shop and a customer comes in and
you're like, eh, today is not a good day to eat a burger.
They never say that because they're in the business of selling burgers. There
are sometimes it's not a good time to buy real estate. Yeah, No,
Linda Leslie is one of these types of people. Cut to two thousand
and six or two thousand and seven. We can get you into the house
of your dreams. Do you need my income, We do not. Do
you need any assets, We do not even need your name. You could
just lie here, just sign here, will you? Yeah? And it's
like there's really beautiful like these like programs, Like there's a program right now
in California that's like, if you make one hundred and fifty thousand dollars,
unless you can qualify for like a mortgage that you can use to pay off
the mortgage or get into the downpayment, you have to pay that off eventually,
like when you're dead, like your children will be uh, they'll come
after you for that. But the issue is that, like, hey,
mortgages it's every month, you know, and the property taxes are a couple
times a year, and you cannot afford that, So forget the downpayment.
Leslie, it's not a good time to buy. Yeah, but this was
Leslie in two thousand and seven, because I like to keep that going.
Yeah, here sign on page one while i'm reading this, here it says
our mortgage is two hundred and fifty dollars a month. That's right. Well,
I'm looking on page two it says after three years, it's going to
be seven thousand dollars. Just worry about page one. Yeah, just worry
about page one. And if you ask me about page two again, I'm
gonna get really pissed off, and I'm gonna tell you, well, it's
a one point seven million dollar house and you make forty five thousand dollars a
year. So what did you expect? These real estate people are psychic.
They give me horrible I hate that we have some listeners that are probably in
the real estate game. Yeah, but some of you guys are pretty greedy
and whack. Yeah, you know, you're all no goals? Yeah,
come on, all right, so I feel like fifteen minutes of not much
passes. But yeah, that's what I was talking about. At the top,
man, is they chop boat stuff sandwich? Yeah, they chopped someone's
head off. At the top of the episode, we were all entertained,
and now we're bored. We get to sushi, white Wahoo, Ahi tuna
and lobster. Tony is beloved. Well, how's he doing? Come on,
lay it out here. He's doing horribly. Really, I mean over
over the course of the season. Let me amend that. Let me amend
me. He's not doing horribly. He's doing fine. There we go.
He's putting out mediocre food for mediocre new money, and that's what this show
calls for. But we get a soliloquy later on the show about cooking filets
to medium rare. Wow, what well, Pat, you could cook a
filet meeting I just did on Sunday. Yeah, my first New York steak
thing fucking cost me like eighteen bucks. Oh the price of red meat.
I cook that, Thanks Obama. Everybody ate it. Everybody loved it.
Yeah, I did a good job. I sprinkle a little salt and pepper
on their thing. Was just as good as any steakhouse I've gone to.
Yeah, absolutely, And that's why when we spend a minute talking about how
you based steak and butter and thyme, I mean, I'm just like,
I don't know. You know, perhaps I'm I've grown too cynical, what
with my voluminous knowledge of the culinary arts. But it just seemed like,
imagine if someone was waxing poetic about how to make a grilled cheese, you'd
be like, it doesn't need this much poetry. It's pretty straight forward.
Now, part of my filthy, yucky perception, Dell. But that steak
that they did sort of look like the jockey jockey box was still at it
a little red there. I think he'd sou veed it and was gonna see
it off later. But Tony has great eyebrows. And the lashes of a
baby camel phrase, what a pull? I mean, it's unbelievable. Have
you seen the lashes on those animals. They're stunning. So we get to
the evening, Well, the guests freak out over male yeast infections. This
is like, dumb drunk guy, like, what are you afraid? I'm
afraid of a shut up? Barbie makes the table the tablescape fat Tuesday.
She's pretty, she's not she's not bugs, but she is. Uh,
she's getting there. Oh yeah, she's getting there. It's interesting. I
know that Barbie is kind of a diminutive person, but it's it's kind of
like, I don't know if these people know that there was a sea rat
literally crawling all over the table. Just set this whole thing up. Yeah,
so we went to bed with a lead deckhand and we woke up with
a boson has Honey, Yes we did. And I like how they joke
about her being she jokes about him being her boss now and she hopes that,
you know, it doesn't get weird. Yeah, she is going to
completely dominate him. What's the over under these two imploding? Well, we
see a fight in the multiple trailers that they've showed us we get four episodes.
Yeah, although if I mean, if you want me to give a
little behind the sea rat news. This past December, Ben was posting pictures
vacation in Australia, and she's in many of those Instagram photos, but he
does not point her out by name. Oh interesting, Yeah, okay,
so dinner gets ready, Tony. This is where the soliloquy happens on cooking
medium are steak and then we welcome the charter guests to Fat Tuesday. The
dinner is as chuogy as you could possibly imagine, champagne vinaigrette and beat salad
up first with surf and turf and white sweet mash. Let's go ahead and
do this. Let's not call anything ever white sweet mash, right because and
it's not a problem with the dish, it's a problem with branding. You
know, Dylan is the avernment. It's like if we call the hamburger a
dead meat sandwich or a dead beef sandwich, you know you wouldn't want to
eat that. Dyl is there a governing body of food, that of the
culinary arts that says you can't call that a what do you call it?
When they break down a famous dish, a deconstructed beat salad like, is
there a governing body that says, no, you can't call it that?
Unfortunately not, And I've had fierce debates with people who have called me a
tyrant. But I do think there should be some kind of CEF, a
culinary economic forum or something to know to break down the rules of this,
especially to oversee the show Chopped. I mean they just make it up on
the spot. Yeah, well, Chopped is not real. Chopped is not
real cooking. I love that show. Yeah, we're so happy to welcome
you, and we're so proud of you for dedicating your life to first drugs
and alcohol and then by kind of default, cooking. And you're gonna come
in second definitely because your mother died, right and you are now going to
cook with pepper turkey, gouda cheese, pop rocks and candy cakes and peanut
buttery. Yeah, and candy canes. Yes. Yeah, it's a ridiculous
show. So surf and turf whites, meat mash of vanilla cheesecake, and
a homemade koolie. Basic as basic can be, but it's what these people
wanted. He delivered sixty pots day one. Let's rise for the next day.
Early risers are here, Kat is having a freak out in the bottom
bunk and oat milk cap chinos are served. Cat Cat Zandy, Cat Cat
Zandy. Now the problems begin. Cat is obviously going through something. She's
asked where the cleaning catty is and rushes to the toilet to cry. Now,
now this is Vampira prompting her. She is not riding Cat by any
means. No, she's just like very matter of fact, Hey, this
room wasn't finished, the mirror wasn't wiped down, and by the way,
where's the whatever Caddie and Kat loses her shit. This is not on Vampire,
although the show doesn't depict it that way, but it's worth pointing out
Vampire did nothing wrong to trigger Cat to basically lose her shit. No,
I think not, and I feel for her, But once again, twofold
one clearly not cut out for this period. But two she's I don't know.
I just feel so horrible for her. I feel so horrible for her,
and I want the people that abused her to be capitally punished. Enough
of this, You know, what are we do when putting up with fucking
psychotic alcoves of people who pray to the ghost of Tim Allen or whatever the
fuck they pray to abusing children and shit, it's like, what was that
big shootout with the FBI wake Waco. You know, let's have more of
those. Yeah, they lit that place on fire with a fucking fire tank
man. Yeah, a lot of a lot of lives were lost. So
maybe maybe we don't have more of those just because of the untold you know,
the atrocity. Yeah, children, but we got to fix it somehow.
Absolutely. Now Kat walks by Barbie in that little eating area and she
announces she's over it, and Barbie says, and this is old Patty.
I think Barbie and I are kindred spirits. This is gonna be a fun
interview totally. She says, Do you want to talk? She says,
no, Trump's on that. Granted, I often thought of you as a
kind of materialistic Argentine princess. You have, yeah, kind of feel that
way. Yeah, I think I think that's so you. I'm looking forward
to that chat with Barbie. So Fraser lets Captain know that Kat is not
going to make it, and they say, despite what is going on to
her, it's horrific, and I'd say good leadership to both of you.
We head out to Caracao and we get Kat's departure. Well, I was
going to say, first off, Fraser finds her crying in the bed,
and she explains she's kind of losing it, and then Fraser lets her know
that she can leave if she needs to, and then he then he lies
to her. Yeah, he says, she's been amazing. Yeah. Remember
Fraser had told someone earlier, a co worker. He's like, I will
lie to you. Yeah, totally. He says that to Tony, And
you know, good on Fraser, because you know we're it. Someone you
know, with a sadistic kind of bone in their body, they would have
been like, you know, you've been horrible the whole season and and we're
here for you. So she departs, and we are now expected to deliver
seven star service. I didn't even think there were that. I didn't knowed
that level with not just one deckhand down but also interior down. I mean,
Olympus has fallen or has it not? Next week is going to be
great. We get like a hot new deckhand coming aboard. I've been talking
to this. Oh, I'm not supposed to say that, right, So
jump in the comments, let us know what you thought of the episode.
iTunes ready to reviews. I'm gonna read some right now because you guys have
heeded the call. Thank you guys very much for jumping in those reviews.
Read the bad ones too, you know we you know, oh we love
the bad ones. We absolutely I don't depresses me, does it really?
If I'm like scrolling board and I'm like, hey, what are people talking
about me? And then I hear like zero stars, Like no, they
didn't even give me a chance. I want to read some that are just
great, and these are perfect reviews. Okay. This is from Nico La
La hilarious recaps five stars. It feels good to laugh. I mean,
who could disagree with that? That's why that's my job. This is from
Meg one two three four five, five five stars. Kind words five stars.
You're welcome and and and that's the kind of that's kind of relationship we
want to have with our fans. You know, not only are you indebted
to us for making your commutes tolerable, but we're indebted to you because you
know, Pat's wife could not have a room filled with pelotons, were it
not for you guys. I mean she's at like seven or eight at this
point. Yeah, I need to build an extra room. That's it for
us. Love you guys very much. Patroon dot Com session of the podcast
Networks Socials. Everywhere I'm doing saying goodbye Pat say good bye later, dudes
is no distinct